


Wake Up

by ST_Le



Category: Ghostwriter (TV 1992)
Genre: 90s, 90s Nostalgia, Adults, Asian Character(s), Asian-American Character, Black Character(s), Drama, Drama & Romance, Education, Educational, Epic, Ghostwriter - Freeform, Growing Up, Jewish Character, LGBTQ Themes, Latino Character, Magical Realism, Multi, Mystery, New York, New York City, Parenthood, Poignant, Politics, Real Life, Realistic, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 230,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ST_Le/pseuds/ST_Le
Summary: Ghostwriter was an illuminated orb from a previous century who first contacted a group of eight Brooklyn children in the early 90s. With him, these children (Jamal Jenkins, Lenni Frazier, Alex Fernandez, Gaby Fernandez, Tina Nguyen, Rob Baker, Hector Carrero, and Casey Austin) became the Ghostwriter Team and set off to solve a slew of mysteries while also dealing with issues they faced growing up in pre-gentrified Brooklyn. Now it is 2005 and it has been 14 years since the Team discovered Ghostwriter and 7 years since he vanished from their lives.As adults, they continue on; each striving for success and fulfillment. And yet, they are still sleeping in a void - one that Ghostwriter had created for them. Can they wade through early adulthood with the possibility that they may never solve the mystery of who he was and where he came from? Most importantly, without Ghostwriter, will they be able to maintain their relationships with one another as they grow in different directions?And what happens when a dangerous new mystery comes along that threatens one of the characters?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6
Collections: Discord Community Archive





	1. Prologue: Brooklyn Blurs

**Author's Note:**

> Music referenced in or that has inspired the Fic: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFt5ZeccEj6C2G6N1_H6fKD-PMRFNbE-l  
> Songs will be added after every chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the late 1990s, Ghostwriter flies through New York contemplating his next steps.

[Prologue: Brooklyn Blurs](https://youtu.be/XQfs3B5ioqs)

**August Late 1990s**

A sudden ball of energy shone a light. This illumination of color and light flowed freely and bounced off unseen surfaces. Could he, as he thought of himself as a "he", speak? No, he couldn't speak. In the limbo that was now his existence, this orb of color and light was forced to adapt to this restricted reality. In his world there was only a sea of letters, numbers and symbols. He flew past a sign and continued on. He often felt smothered by signs from various proprietors and vendors. Those blasted letters and numbers surrounded him like tidal waves - suffocating yet liberating. Every time it happened, he felt as though those same letters and numbers had freed him in his previous life. Yet, he could not remember how. No, he couldn't physically touch or feel, but he could sense pangs of emotion or feeling from those he builds connections with. He was unsure how it is he can do this but he was grateful. It allowed him to know people in a much more insightful way than was afforded to most beings. Despite his lack of senses, he had a powerful way to express himself. He could write. He knew that the most powerful tool at his disposal was not his ability to float, to travel high speeds, or even his one-time power of going back in time, but his literacy. He knew it was his ability to read and write that truly opened doors for him.

The bouncing and flowing orb continued on his way leaving a stream of fading color. He flowed among the crowds of people who were unaware of him. He felt the warmth of their bodies giving off a thermal energy that comforted him. He had traveled to University Plaza - in from the ocean, following the letters of the N-Train. He had learned that this was indeed a train, underground. He felt as if he had a reference to underground railways but did not know where it had originated. He did not know much of anything about his origins. However, even in this state, one thing was certain. When feelings of doubt and uncertainty crept in, he would take solace in the one certainty of his life. There were indeed people who could see him and write to him. They called him _Ghostwriter_.

He could manipulate those letters, numbers and symbols in the vast sea at will but nobody could see. Well, that wasn't true. Some years ago, Ghostwriter discovered that his being was dependent on those he chose to be his friends – those he revealed himself to. The more people he revealed himself to, the more vulnerable he became to the variability of their emotions and feelings and moods. He had discovered that those he had chosen were budding into their adolescence. Such people to be tied to. And yet, Ghostwriter did not regret this.

Suddenly, upon reflection, a thought struck him and almost made him go into a virtual tailspin. Since his discovery, he had been bothered by the state of his existence. It was not truly existential – a term he had learned in his recent state. He had no real control over it and it frustrated him. In the past, he thought he could be content with this life or afterlife, but he now found himself increasingly bothered. This lack of control without explanation was troubling. He had not thought about ending his…life – if that is what you can call it-, but if he had, he would not know how to begin.

When he himself was discovered, he was told that he was in a place known as Brooklyn. He grew to love this place. There was such an excitement he can sense. It was almost tangible. There was simply a feeling of potential progression and energy just waiting to burst out. Much like the group he had befriended. He loved and yet envied their ability to live in such a vibrant place and see, hear, and feel it for themselves. They did not understand that for him, Brooklyn blurred.

 _No matter dwelling on that for now_. Ghostwriter chose to ignore those familiar feelings of sadness and continued on. He had read a sign that told him he was near a bookstore. In this existence, Ghostwriter's favorite activity became reading books. Not just reading books, but devouring them. A titillating sensation hit him as he soaked up the information within.

Then those awful doubts began creeping in again. No matter how much he tried to ignore these feelings, they always came back to haunt him, the next time worse than the last. It had been building up for years now.

He had never expected to be _alive_ for this long. He could not believe he was still _standing_ here. What was he and where was he from? What was even more uncertain was how he became whatever it was that he became. What did he do to become such a being and how was he ever going to get out of this state? Did he even want to? He didn't know. Why wasn't he in heaven or in some other afterlife; or reincarnated? Maybe this was his reincarnation. A frightening thought that was to Ghostwriter. Why weren't there any others? Maybe he had to find them. Was God punishing him? Forsaking him? This didn't feel like a punishment, at least the punishment he remembered he felt when he was…human. He was sure he knew pain in his past, but he couldn't quite be sure.

"Are the Children Safe?" he would ask time and time again. The first question he had ever asked as Ghostwriter nearly eight years ago. He mulled over that personal and seemingly eternal question in his mind. It was his only link to his former life. One he had forgotten…or maybe the memory was misplaced or it had disintegrated like his physical form. He understood that his physical body was no more despite not knowing for sure.

And what about those people? Though he did not know if he was being damned for a past sin or rewarded at a second, albeit limited, chance at "life", he had been pondering one thing over and over. What was he doing with these children? Having fun, no doubt, and guiding them.

But was that it? Could he always continue to live this way with the children growing into adulthood and having children of their own?

Out of every thing that bothered Ghostwriter, the most frightening question involved the children. By having playing such a substantial role in their lives, was he some how harming them? Dominating them? What would happen to them if they had to live without him? Could they do it? He could not help but feel a massive weight of guilt every time he justified his being with them. What did he have to be guilty about? The children loved him and he loved them. But what was he _really_ doing with them? Forcing them to keep this secret, is what he was doing and again…how long could he expect this game to go on?

He noticed one child, the one named Jamal, becoming increasingly troubled by Ghostwriter's existence. Jamal wanted to know, no not know, but understand this situation. He began to question Ghostwriter's existence and needed answers. This got the other children to do the same. The rate and severity of these questions became unbearable for Ghostwriter, as he simply could not answer them. Ghostwriter also felt something else. It was as if Jamal and the others were accusing him of something; something almost corrupt. As if they had begun to sense a hidden motive in Ghostwriter wanting to involve himself in their lives. As hurtful as the accusatory nature of their questions were, what ached him was their seemingly loss of innocence. They were growing and he knew that they soon would not be the same people they were those years ago, when they were curious and inquisitive children innocently seeking adventure and knowledge.

This had hurt him, but Ghostwriter could not begrudge them. What could he blame them of? They might have had a point. What kind of void was he looking to fill? This brought up another question that Ghostwriter could not answer. Why exactly had he chosen THESE children? At the time it was quite instinctive. Nothing felt more natural in the world than to reveal himself to these children. There was a certain vitality that drove him to these children. However, now that they began to question his very existence and desperately sought to solve his "mystery" he felt as if he was exposed. It was as if they were close to violating him though that had not been their intention. The more questions that were left unanswered, the more confused the situation became. With this dissatisfaction, Ghostwriter increasingly felt the familiar pangs of weariness and fatigue; feelings he did not think he was able to truly have in this state. Those feelings were too _human_.

Ghostwriter paused at a quote he read through. "Be careful the things you say, children will listen…careful the things you do, children will see and learn." Ghostwriter read that quote from a book titled _Into the Woods_. It was a libretto, and though Ghostwriter could not hear the music or even be close to imagining it, the words lingered.

Oh, he would have cried if he could have. Right then and there, he had an answer to one question. It was decided. The children needed to get out of the woods. Truly, he was just a ghost to everyone he knew. Ghosts should not continue to agonize the people they cared for. He needed to stop haunting them so that they could grow and move on. He did not know how to simply disappear from their lives; to stop them from seeing him. When he was discovered, he had wished so hard for someone to see him – anyone. Someone to communicate with and care for him. Oh how it came true…and more. He realized that though his wish came true, it never stopped. Just because wishes came true did not mean that they came free.

He knew what he had to do. He zoomed out. He went through the N-Train and kept going into the ocean. And he kept going, knowing for sure he would not come back. He would go some place where he knew he wouldn't be alarmed – a place where no one could see him tonight or any night. He wasn't there yet, but he knew was getting there.

Where was he now? In-between his past mistakes and his new beginning, he was nowhere now. Until he got there, he knew that he would keep going until Brooklyn blurred below. He started feel free. Free. Free at last. But he started to chill. It was cold; so very cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> I would like to give credit to where it's due. I was so inspired by The Paper Raincoat song "Brooklyn Blurs" that I decided to not use it as a starting point for my fic, but to use it for the title of my prologue.
> 
> I also want to give credit to Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine for Into the Woods. As you will see for the rest of my story, their work will influence me in more ways than one.
> 
> I also would like to thank my Beta readers; Lunar and Matryeshka for helping me along and telling me exactly what I needed to hear when I desperately sought a critical ear. Also to Pashmina for being my support. I hope you like the rest of this story.


	2. Chapter 1: Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamal Jenkins visits his family and the team back New York. He is haunted by his memories of Ghostwriter and is sleepwalking through life. Includes sections of the other characters and where they are mentally and emotionally.

"We don't know where he came from...he can't hear and he can't talk...he can read anything"- Lenni Frazier

"What is he?"- Tina Nguyen

"He takes letters and he writes with them"- Alex Fernández

"We're the only ones who can see him...that means he wants you on the team"- Gaby Fernández

"He's a ghost and he writes to us...Ghostwriter."- Jamal Jenkins

"Hey, cool"- Tina Nguyen

"I was working on the computer, then all of a sudden these letters, then I asked these questions and he said he wants to be my friend."- Rob Baker

"Wow, it was like raining letters."- Hector Carrero

"YOU can see Ghostwriter?"- Casey Austin

"Ghostwriter, what a trip!"- Alex Fernández

Word.

**CHAPTER 1: WAKE UP**

" _But now that I'm older,_ _  
__my heart's colder,_ _  
__and I can see that it's a lie._

_Children wake up,_ _  
_ _hold your mistake up,_ _  
_ _before they turn the summer into dust._

_If the children don't grow up,_ _  
_ _our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up._ _  
_ _We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to_ _  
_ _rust._

_I guess we'll just have to adjust."_

-Arcade Fire

* * *

Not many can believe that eight children with different racial backgrounds, personality traits, and goals in life could become life-long friends well into adulthood. However, that is exactly what these children did. Something defied logic and probability, something supernatural...a ghost.

Many people in these children's lives wondered what exactly kept them together. For many, it just did not make sense! It probably does not make sense to you, the reader, either. However, the answer is really quite simple. We all tend to over complicate things. What kept Jamal, Alex, Lenni, Gaby, Tina, Rob, Casey, and Hector together was simply just human nature...

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

Sometimes, it pays to be a little "unreasonable".

* * *

**Late in the Fall Semester 2004 - Houston, Texas**

_Hey, GW. Do you remember the first time I wrote to you? It was more like the first time you wrote to me. You asked me if the "Children were safe." Do you remember? I haven't forgotten. Have you forgotten us? Why haven't you written to us? It's been almost six years since you last contacted us._

_It's been so long since we've heard anything. Just write to us again...write anything. It's so simple...just write..._

_What did you mean by "are the children safe?" I've always wanted to ask you, but I knew you didn't know either. I was afraid of conjuring up bad memories for you. Is that why you're gone? Did you remember? Was it that bad? You don't have to stay away from us...you can always count on the team...on us. We're your family, GW. If you've found some other people who could help you find out who you are then I'm happy for you, but don't forget about us._

_GW, I don't know...I just feel lost right now. I feel like you would have the answers. You always knew what to say - as if you had some sort of sixth sense or divine eye. You didn't let the fact that you couldn't see or hear or touch deter you from helping us deal with everything we ever faced...when you were with us. I mean, yeah, ok, you could see...you saw letters and numbers._

_Man, I'm rambling. I should sleep...I have a long day tomorrow filled with passing out exams and presenting my dissertation for my Advisor. I'm almost there, GW. You can start calling me Dr. Jenkins pretty soon. Scary, huh? And you won't be there._

_It does not feel good though. I keep having all these doubts in my head. I don't know why. It's like my brain is telling me to worry about one thing, which results in me worrying about another, then another...I don't know. I'm too worried...about everything._

_Maybe I just need to wake myself up out of it...wake up...I'm going to have trouble waking up in a few hours. I've had trouble sleeping ever since you...I can't blame that all on you, can I? Insomnia is common among many people in my field...and outside of my field...ok, it's just common._

_Ok, Jamal...go to sleep._

_GW, wherever you are...just know that we're still here for you._

_Oh, GW, one more thing._

_If you have found people to help solve your mystery, then I'm happy. Not being able to figure out who or what you were is my biggest failure._

Jamal Jenkins exited his unsaved Word document and waited patiently for his PC to shut down before heading to bed.

Exhausted from the day, his body was aching to go to sleep. However, once he laid in bed, he couldn't help but keep his thoughts to one thing. Ghostwriter.

What happened to him? Where was he?

Ghostwriter had disappeared almost six years ago. Not only did he disappear from their lives, but he did it suddenly.

Although Jamal knew that Ghostwriter leaving the team, left this void inside every member, Jamal wasn't sure if any of them stayed awake nights just thinking about and worrying about GW the way he did.

"Screw it," Jamal said to himself hoping to kick all the worry out of his head. He had a long day tomorrow.

* * *

**Early Spring Semester 2005 - Rice University, Houston, Texas**

Jamal Jenkins stood behind his podium in the large auditorium, glancing at his class. By this point in his life, Dr. Jenkins had experience teaching Astrophysics and other advanced courses in the Physics Department - enough experience that allowed him to give a bit of gusto in his lectures. And yet, this class made him nervous and insecure. Ironically, it wasn't any of the more advanced subjects but rather Physics 101 - a freshman class.

Fearful of having an unknown sample of students, Jamal sighed and tried to snap out of the daze he knew he was entering into as he eyed his class. He knew what he got himself into with advanced Astrophysics courses. They were his people. He did not need to convince them to be interested in Astrophysics at all.

However, Intro to Physics? That was a different story. It was not just the large volume that bothered him - though that did not help. It was the fact that these classes consisted of students with varying degrees of interest in this subject and had differing education backgrounds for Jamal to work with. This always resulting in him having a class containing a few students wanting to test Jamal on not only his knowledge of Physics, but on heavy-handed subjects outside the scope of the course such as the existence of man-made Climate Change and even of God.

 _Great_ , Jamal thought as he stared at his students. The students were crunched up in their seats and staring blankly at him. _How claustrophobic they feel,_ Jamal thought.

Already having gone through a few weeks of material with the class should have put Jamal at ease with teaching this class, but it only made the more opinionated students more obnoxious as they became more conscious of their role as class disrupter. Unfortunately, Jamal had not learnt how to deal with them effectively as of yet.

Jamal glanced at the clock and realized that the class was in danger of going over time. He woke up from his daze, and then proceeded to go straight to his point. Although Jamal had been staring at the class, he was also in the middle of a lecture about scientific principles and what scientific theory actually was.

"And that is what separates a scientific statement from any other. It is the general idea that with science, you have to be able to _**falsify**_ it. In other words, one has to be able to _**test**_ it...even if it's false. A statement or question isn't a scientific one unless you can test it to be false, even if it's true. Understand?" Jamal stated to the class plainly.

Jamal waited for a beat and heard no response. Relieved that nobody was questioning his statements, Jamal started to let his guard down.

Then a student piped up. "Well, what about the Superstring theory?"

Jamal turned to see a young woman sitting in the middle row of the "T-zone."

 _Well, I'll be!_ Jamal thought - satisfied that a student even knew what the Superstring Theory was and that she was able to connect that with his statements on falsifiability. He was then taken aback by thinking _I'll be_ , something he think he picked up after his many years in school. Jamal noticed that the young student's face revealed that she took his look of satisfaction as a moment of triumph. Unfortunately, the class was too large and she had been too quiet for most of the semester, so Jamal did not know her name off-hand.

"What do you mean?" asked Jamal liking where this is going.

"Well," continued the girl, who now looked nervous, "it's not exactly falsifiable, is it?"

"You're right," said Jamal.

"But, then doesn't that contradict what you just said?" interrupted Billy Thompson, a student Jamal knew all too well for his hardened stance that global warming or climate change was a conspiracy theory led by the liberal establishment. Jamal felt that it was a shame he knew Billy Thompson's name, but not the student who just asked him the question that pleased him so much.

"In a way, yes, but look at it this way." Jamal said, wading carefully on how he was going to formulate his answer.

"Notice how I said it is a 'general' idea." Before Mr. Thompson could interrupt with a few of his buddies egging him on to continue, Dr. Jenkins took control of the class. "Science is never quite absolute. Science does not intend to make a world of absolutes, that's the job of scientists."

That was Jamal's attempt at a joke. This welcomed a few laughs to which Jamal was grateful for. He continued on, "Chemists think that when you put a blue liquid into a red liquid and that results in a purple liquid, then they created an absolute proven formula. Well, not so in Physics and many other sciences. We want to analyze the process and see WHY it happens and if different results can occur."

"You still haven't answered the question, Dr. Jenkins," interrupted Billy Thompson.

"You're right, I just lost track of myself," Jamal said with a sly smile. Jamal thought he might have seen two girls whispering to each other and giggling as a result.

"Anyway, what I have told you about falsifiability is sort of the beginner's definition of science. When you go into more advanced studies, you're going to see that falsifiability may seem naive as a criterion for good science. Some assert that, in contrast, a good scientific theory is one that best explains the data we have. However, I feel that there's a paradox there, can anyone spot it?"

"Well, it seems to me using the second theory has an inherent problem," said Rob Solomon, a student Jamal could not help but be partial to as, in this semester, Mr. Solomon had shown the ability to not only raise his hand rather than blurt out, but had contributed to the class discussion in a way that drove the lecture forward.

"Go on," said Jamal.

"Well, if only accept theories that best explains the data we have, then there is always a danger that we're not actively seeking other theories that can explain it better. Once you decide that's the best explanation, you will just move on and not continue to tweak it or test it with new discoveries or resources gained."

"My point exactly!" Jamal said excitedly.

Jamal noticed that most members of the class looked on confused. Looking to correct this, Jamal continued, "In order to have an evidence for an explanation, I think then it is logical to assume that the evidence in a different light or with a different...'ingredient' can then show an absolutely different result. So even the most solid, proven law has some degree where it could all fall apart. At least if we stick to the falsifiability principle, we stick to the idea that it's only science if we can test it and there's a possibility something new can change everything. So we'll always seek new explanations and limiting the definition to what we can physically test."

"That doesn't make sense," replied Stacy Yokels, a student Jamal also liked for her insightful questions though she was ruder than Rob Solomon about asking them. "At least I don't think it does. I mean we know the evidence supporting that the Earth fully rotates in twenty-four hours best explains why we have day and night. Where is the paradox in that?"

"Right, but just because it best explains it, it does not mean we cannot test it and maybe we can find out something new that proves that we were wrong all along about the Earth's rotating in twenty-four hours being why we have night and day. All it takes is a new discovery, and that's what I mean about falsifiability. We could find out later on that we have night and day not because the Earth rotates in twenty four hours, but because it is actually the universe that rotates around us."

"But, doesn't that require some sort of belief system?" asked Stacy Yokels.

"No, because we're still trying to observe and gather data from what is tangible, from what we can gather in the physical universe. I made no mention of a spaghetti monster switching the sun and moon with the Earth standing still. Now, that would require a huge leap of faith."

Most of the class erupted in laughter, but most importantly, Stacy Yokels seemed satisfied with the answer.

Now that he captured the class's attention and remembering the initial question, Jamal decided to push the patience of his class to its limit by talking about the very subject he had been obsessing over for the past five years and the subject of which he argued his dissertation.

"Now, about the Superstring Theory...We have to accept that there are at least two senses of "testable" in use. There's the more conventional 'experimental' sense that we all understand. We have a controlled setting and a command of the resources to set up an experiment that can give us a definitive yes or no answer. Got it?" Jamal asked.

Once he received a few nods and ignoring the fact that most of the class did not respond, Jamal continued further, "However, testing can also refer to a mathematical sense, evaluating the properties of the hypotheses under the experimental results available resources make accessible. Meaning that, sometimes if we can't test something in the former way, we can make up for it by using mathematical formulas and hypothesis with the resources we do have that have shown to give us results that will implicitly give us results. It's not the failure of the theory, no, it's that we just do not have the known resources to make it possible or tangible to conduct physical tests."

Some students seemed satisfied with the answer while others lost interest. Of course, there were the other students that wanted to argue with Jamal further, which he was sure would be related to the idea that maybe creationism was one of those ideas that humans have not figured out how to test yet, to which Jamal would have to then explain the differences between theories that were based in the physical world, and beliefs that went beyond that, which could never be truly tested nor make accurate predictions.

Jamal then quickly wondered where Ghostwriter and his existence stood with that. Then he just as quickly woke up from that aside.

"Many of you may wonder why we bother to study the Superstring Theory when much of it is unknown. The answer is that scientists, like the rest of us are human too." Jamal said, grateful that some students smiled and even laughed at that line.

Jamal continued, "What I mean by that is that many in the scientific community want so badly to bridge quantum physics and the theory of relativity into one overarching theory...of stuff. They spend so much time on the Superstring Theory because they want to and like everyone else, scientists get obsessed with their ideas and ambitions too. Like finding out why certain unexplainable things exists.

People, in general, like to have an explanation of why things happen. For instance, why do people come together in certain situations who otherwise would not have met outside of those circumstances? Serendipity? Chance? Or some sort of ball of energy that forced them together?"

Before Jamal was able to delve further, time had run out and members of the class rushed out while some politely waited until Jamal nodded to let them free.

Leaving his lecture hall, Jamal started to wonder if he went too far in delving into the more philosophical discussions of scientific inquiry. He could not help it. It was what he had been obsessed with since Ghostwriter came into his life.

In his office, staring a picture of him with the rest of the Ghostwriter team, Jamal could not help but ponder the one thought that had bothered him ever since he came into contact with Ghostwriter. How was he ever going to figure out how to make Ghostwriter and the presence of a supernatural consistent to Jamal's hardened ideas regarding the subject of science?

This simple contradiction in his life: his idea of the physical world and what a reasonable man would think was possible, and his own real experience with a supernatural being that could write to him and, conversely, he could write back to has been the unanswerable question in his mind. To combine the reasonable man and the unreasonable man was a puzzle Jamal had not been able to solve, and he feared he would never wake up from this intellectual limbo.

* * *

**Summer 2005, Fort Greene, Brooklyn, New York**

"Jamal...wake up, Jamal..."

The sounds of Grandma CeCe Jenkins calling his name worked better than any alarm clock.

Jamal turned in his bed. It wasn't really his bed anymore, but "guest" bedroom or no, it was still his home. Though most of the posters and décor might have gone away through the years, the spirit of the room still felt all his. At least that is what Jamal liked to think.

He turned over towards the window and saw his old stuffed teddy bear sitting there, smiling at him. _Bernard the Bear_... _Bernie,_ Jamal thought, smiling momentarily at the fact that he still had Bernie after all these years. It seemed like Bernie was never going to go away - unlike...

Jamal then tried to push thoughts of _him_ away from his bed. Hoping to quiet his mind from going down that rabbit hole again, he rested some more in the warmth of his comforter hoping to snuggle himself back to sleep on this summer day.

 _Exactly what time was it_? Jamal wondered, as he was about to reenter his slumber.

"Jamal!"

A jolt of electricity traveled up and down Jamal's spine. Jamal knew that was his cue to get up. Good-natured or no, when Grandma CeCe had that tone, you know you better do as she says. Jamal wouldn't take her on with a ninja army.

Jamal haphazardly put on a shirt and some shorts he had lying on the floor and hurried down the stairs. He was only here a week, and already all of his stuff just cluttered up the small room.

As Jamal reached the foot of the stairs, he smelled the sweet aroma of sausage, eggs, toast, and bacon. Jamal had decided long ago that the best smell to wake up to had to be bacon. Though Jamal did not utilize the scientific method to come to that conclusion, he often experienced that hypothesis to be true. This morning continued to illustrate that point.

Jamal looked around the semi-cluttered living room. It had been a while since the Jenkins family tidied the place up and Jamal knew that Grandma CeCe would take advantage of Jamal's stay. He hoped he could remember how to "clean properly" as his cleaning standards waned once he got a place of his own.

"It's about time, sugar." Grandma CeCe gave Jamal a look mocking disapproval. "We were ready to start without you."

"What's the occasion?" asked Jamal. He saw his father, mother, sister, and cousin, Casey already at the table eager to start.

"What do you mean occasion? Don't I always cook breakfast for my family or have you been away for so long with your head in the stars that you forgot?"

"Your grandmother is right, Jamal," said his father. "There's no reason to call this an occasion, it's only breakfast."

"Only breakfast?" chided Grandma CeCe.

 _Uh oh,_ Jamal thought.

"Reginald, I have you know that this isn't _only_ breakfast!"

"But Ma, you just said..."

"Hush, Reginald," Jamal's mother interrupted. She and CeCe gave each other a look and shared a small giggle.

"Doris..." Reginald responded shaking his head. That caused the whole table to erupt in laughter.

"Look what you caused Jammy-Jam," Danitra said after the hilarity subsided. "You gonna sit-down or what?"

Jamal rolled his eyes at his sister, while Casey just looked on, amused at the whole situation. It didn't matter how old Jamal and Danitra got because she would always be older sister-bossy.

Jamal noticed their dad gazing at Danitra. After what Jamal ascertained as hesitation, Reginald blurted out, "Why isn't Kenneth here?"

"He had to catch up on some papers he was grading, otherwise he wouldn't miss Grandma's breakfast for the world," Danitra said without looking in Reginald's direction.

"Uh huh..." Jamal said skeptically as he sat down. Danitra then lightly kicked Jamal in the shin. Jamal took his cue to shut his mouth.

Jamal knew that Danitra's relationship with her long-time boyfriend Kenneth was a sore subject for their parents. Doris and Reginald just did not understand why Danitra and Kenneth were not married yet. Jamal knew his father and mother just couldn't comprehend it. Danitra and her parents came to blows over this subject a few months ago where Jamal played mediator over the phone when Danitra decided to not speak to her parents for a spell.

Jamal knew Danitra accused them of being old-fashioned and narrow-minded conformists who were not as progressive as they thought they were. Her parents thought Danitra's level of maturity was not as high as she thought it was and accused Danitra of not respecting herself for refusing to be "respectable."

Doris complained to Jamal that she really wanted Danitra to give her a grandchild already. When he relayed that to Danitra, she scoffed at the idea that a woman's life had to be complete with a child. Danitra then lectured Jamal about how it was an outmoded idea given to us by a patriarchal society in which we had conformed.

Jamal did not quite buy that argument because he knew Danitra loved children and wondered how much of that social science theory came from her and how much of it really came from Kenneth's discomfort of being tied down with a child. Of course, Jamal would never vocalize that to his sister because even he recognized the sexism that could be construed by that very thought.

For his part, Jamal liked Kenneth. Jamal and the rest of the family had known him for about ten years, and throughout the years, it became clear to him that Kenneth was uncomfortable around his family due to him growing up in a one-child neglectful home. He also clearly wasn't used to the hustle and bustle of the Jenkins household. Jamal deducted that Kenneth's discomfort with a close-knit family dynamic spilled over to Kenneth's view of the finality of marriage and children.

"Well, on a Sunday morning like this," Reginald said, "I think it'd be nice if he could have just..."

"Finally!" Casey screamed excitedly, seeming to Jamal to be eager to disrupt the heavy mood that was about to overcast this breakfast. "I was eyeing that plate of sausages since last week. Grandma wouldn't let any of us eat until your majesty woke up." Casey said sarcastically to Jamal and then bowing to her older cousin.

"Good morning to you too," said Jamal, grateful that Casey found a way out. Casey, like Jamal, was visiting the family for a short time. After living with the Jenkins as a child for a year, Casey moved back to Detroit, and was on the verge of obtaining her Bachelor's degree in Business in Chicago.

Leave it to Casey to defy expectation and study something that seemed unlike her, Jamal thought. Jamal then surmised that it made sense because she did love being the center of attention, and he guessed her studying marketing would finally give Casey a more aggressive way to force people to hear what she had to say.

"Casey is right. Boy, what are you doing sleeping in like that?" Danitra asked, seemingly eager to change the subject.

"Danitra.." Doris said, "Jamal just got in, he needs to get used to the time change."

"What time change?" asked Casey. "It's only a one hour difference between Houston and New York. I had to adjust to the same time change and I'm fine."

"Thanks, cousin." Jamal responded with a mouth full of eggs.

"Your welcome," Casey said, beaming at Jamal. Jamal gave Casey an encouraging smile. He rather Casey continue on ragging him than to have Danitra and her parents duke it out again.

"But, Jamal has had a lot on his mind," Casey quickly added.

 _What is that about?_ Jamal wondered. _What is she getting at? What does she think she's noticing about me? What am I giving off?_ Jamal quickly thought - his mind racing a million kilometers a minute.

"Like what?" asked Grandma CeCe paying equal attention to Casey and the buttered biscuits.

"You know the dissertation he's working on," Casey said. She did not persuade Jamal that that was what she was speaking about, but that seemed to convince everyone else at the table.

"Oh, you mean that Superstring theory stuff," Grandma CeCe said. "Boy, I had you try to explain that to me once, you remember?" Granda CeCe asked. She continued without waiting for a reply, "and I felt like I orbited around the Alpha Centauri and back...too bad I don't understand any of it."

"Don't worry, Grandma, I don't either. That's why I'm in the social sciences," said Danitra. She smiled at Jamal.

Jamal could not help but return the smile. He loved how she would be open about being proud of her little "Jammy-Jam" for getting his PhD. Knowing this always gave Jamal an almost uncomfortable feeling of security and acceptance. Somewhere, deep down, Jamal wanted Danitra to think he was smart, maybe even as smart as her. With age gap between the two, Jamal grew up thinking Danitra was the smartest person in the world and that had not changed much.

"So, Casey, you'll let us know when the graduation ceremony is, right?" asked Doris.

Focus suddenly shifted to Casey, Jamal gratefully observed.

"Oh yes, we'd love to go," added Reginald. The whole Jenkins clan, including Jamal, were beyond excited over little Casey Austin graduating college. Jamal knew she would be the second person in her immediate family to do so after her sister Sheryl got a degree in finance.

"Oh yeah, I'll definitely email you guys. I don't really know myself...who knows I might drop out and dance for pennies instead. I heard you make more money doing that than for having a B.A." Casey laughed, a bit too loudly Jamal thought.

"Casey..." Danitra responded, "you know having an education is more than just making money."

"That's easy for you to say," said Casey, "you actually studied something interesting. Economics is just...blah."

"Then why do it?" asked Danitra.

Jamal coughed. He didn't like the direction this was going. He knows that she meant well, but Danitra can get a little too comfortable on her high horse. Imagine, a sociologist being snobby about a "practical" field of study Jamal would later tease to Danitra.

"Well, after four years, it'd be a little late for me to change course," said Casey. "Plus, I guess I do like it. It beats being a failed comic."

This caused an uncomfortable silence. The Jenkins family knew where Casey's passions truly lied, and it wasn't in something that was "practical."

"Casey, I know you'll find something great after you graduate," Doris said encouragingly. "It's going to open doors for you."

"Yeah," added Jamal hoping to lighten the mood, "plus you can use your shiny degree to get that _marketing_ job you've been talking about so you can get new material for your comedy. I'm sure there are a lot of jokers in that field."

Casey sighed and then muttered "public relations" under her breath before laughing uncomfortably in response. Jamal seemed to be the only to notice the uncomfortable nature of her laugh or to hear what she muttered.

"Well, this is a fine breakfast. What's everybody's plans for the day?" Reginald asked as he turned the page of the _New York Times_ and "tsked" at something Mayor Bloomberg did. "This guy...by the time he's done, the MTA will be totally gutted and trains will never be on time." That criticism was personal as Reginald Jenkins was an engineer for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA).

"Casey and I are going to meet the gang later at Prospect Park. All of us haven't hung out together for some time." Jamal answered ignoring his father's disapproval for Mayor Bloomberg. Jamal had been out of New York for too long to feel confident in his abilities to discuss NYC politics.

"It seems like every time you come visit, you go off with your friends," Reginald responded.

"How often am I here?" said Jamal defensively. His father seemed touchy this morning. Jamal made a mental note to research hormonal change in middle-aged men.

"I just think it's great that you guys kept in touch after all these years. I mean, I don't remember anybody I knew from high school much less middle school." Reginald then offered Jamal a kind smile indicating his sincerity. Jamal observed that all of the parents from the Ghostwriter team were in awe over how the team could still be considered close-knit. Jamal knew that it was something that just did not happen.

Jamal returned his father's smile. Then his father asked, "Why all the way to Prospect Park? What's wrong with Fort Greene Park?"

* * *

**Hours later at Prospect Park**

After much excitement of the get-together and a nice picnic lunch provided by Gaby, Tina, and Alex, the Ghostwriter Team finally felt relaxed. A reunion was always a little awkward and odd at first.

First the Team had to find out what everybody was up to at their moment in life, which always took much longer than any of them expected, then a self-consciousness grew inside of them as if they should shower more attention to whoever it was that was missing for the longest time.

Today, the wayward member was Jamal. He tried his best to break the ice after the pleasantries of "it's been so long," "don't go away again," and "how have you been?" by talking about the dissertation he had been working on. After much effort in making it sound as interesting to a layperson as possible, he finally gave up despite their eagerness to comprehend and understand what he was saying.

Luckily for all, the initial awkwardness would fade way. Little by little, everyone's guard would lower and a little bit of their childhood selves would shine through. Within an hour or so, each member of the Ghostwriter gang would revert back into their old selves...no more pretensions.

Somehow, it was only within this group where members of the Ghostwriter team could be with others who understood this need of escapism from the frustrations and mundaneness of adult life. This comforting high they felt together always came back, despite their days of solving mysteries were long over for most of them.

Three hours into the reunion, it felt safe to have some alone time before the eventual reunion dinner. Somehow, spending more than three hours with eight people became much more work when one got older, and a little separation is needed even if it's momentary.

* * *

"I should be working," Rob Baker said walking with Lenni Frazier and Gaby Fernandez, "as fun as this is, I'm feeling really guilty right now."

"So should the rest of us! Come on, we're never together," exclaimed Gaby. She then attempted a cartwheel that resulted in a brilliant splat. She did not appreciate the long laughter that ensued for a few minutes after she got up from her butt.

"Ok, that's worth missing a day of work for," Rob chuckled.

Gaby stuck her tongue out at Rob while she found a seat on top of a hill.

Lenni and Rob continued walking aimlessly. It was nice not to have a point in one's actions today.

Meanwhile, Tina Nguyen and Alex Fernandez were closer to the Kate Wollman Prospect Park Rink.

"Tina, _Em_ , put the camera down." Alex Fernandez said, after noticing his girlfriend was filming him. She had been filming everyone all day. At first Alex was happy that Jamal was the subject of her filming, but as always, the spotlight eventually shone on Alex.

"Oh come on, _Anh_ , you know you love being on camera. Look at you in your sunglasses. You're ready to be in all the papers..." Tina teased.

"Oh, is that right?" Alex asked, giving a smirk to the camera.

"Yeah, that's right," Tina said sweetly.

Alex then ran towards the camera and grabbed hold of Tina and started tickling her. She gave a small scream, worried about dropping her new, expensive camera.

"Here," Alex said as he gently put her camera down to the grass before chasing his girlfriend. Alex just could not fight this urge to keep his hands on Tina all day. She was being particularly ticklish right now and the powerful breeze was blowing her long black hair. It was simply irresistible.

Tina was quite enjoying this game that Alex and her started playing, even though she knew that the two of them weren't quite sure what this game was exactly.

* * *

Hector Carrero plopped down next to Gaby on a hill as they spotted Casey getting another pretzel.

"Another one?" screamed Gaby. This caused a few strangers to look her way, wondering if she was talking to them.

Nonplussed, Casey answered back with equal timbre, "I haven't had a proper New York pretzel in ages. I don't have the luxury of taking it for granted."

"Yeah yeah..." Gaby replied thinking that NYC cart pretzels were only ok.

* * *

Lenni walked slowly towards Prospect Park Lake and soaked in the sun while Rob followed behind lost in his own thoughts. The reflection off the water was blinding. She decided to put on her sunglasses. She then stood against a lamp post, silently taking in the view.

Rob finally noticed how far ahead she was and rushed towards her.

"Hey, Lenni." Rob said as he situated himself next to Lenni.

Lenni looked up at Rob and gave him a warm smile. She was looking better, Rob had thought.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Rob.

"Nothing, really..." Lenni answered. She saw that Rob was suspicious of her answer, but then noticed that he eased up. "I was just enjoying this view. Look at the sun, it's in a perfect position."

Rob wondered how good of a look Lenni really had behind those shades. "Yeah, it's quite a view. I wish every day was this beautiful."

"But then we wouldn't appreciate it," said Lenni.

"Yeah, but I feel like we don't get many moments like this to just relax and enjoy life. You know, to be able to fully absorb everything and contemplate it. I forget how relaxing Prospect Park can be." Rob replied.

"If life were only moments, then we'd never know we had one." Lenni said dead pan.

"Yeah, you're right," Rob said. He then turned towards Lenni and asked, "That's a quote, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Stephen Sondheim from _Into the Woods_ ," Lenni answered.

Rob and Lenni stood side-by-side in comfortable silence. They knew how to appreciate a good quote. Rob stole a few glances at Lenni who just looked straight on; hiding behind her dark glasses. At this moment, Rob felt as if he knew everything and nothing about Lenni and was contemplating whether the Lenni he knew was the same person as the Lenni he did not know.

* * *

"Hey Hector, what's going on? Why are you so quiet?" asked Gaby in a way that demanded an answer. She had noticed he had been quiet all day and wanted to know why.

"I was just thinking," said Hector.

Gaby thought that as much work Hector had put into minimizing his Nuyorican accent, it always seemed to come out when he was at his most vulnerable.

"About?" asked Gaby growing impatient to hear what Hector had to say.

"I've decided where I'm going to law school."

"Really?" Gaby said with excitement. The whole gang had been waiting to hear about his acceptance letters as they knew he had applied to number of schools. Gaby let the excitement take over and asked him about his first choice. "Is it NYU? Because Tina is very excited that you're choosing NYU, of course she's biased. Alex and I have no problem with you going to NYU either, of course. Alums what what?

"Weren't you looking at Fordham, Brooklyn, Cardozo, and Columbia, as well? Well, they're great schools too...any of them are great since it means you're staying in the City. We were worried you'd go somewhere foreign like Rutgers or God-forbid, Cornell."

"Gaby," Hector interrupted after she paused to inhale. "I've decided to go to CUNY in Queens."

Gaby realized her mistake in assuming NYU, a top five law school in the country. She had thought it was a sure thing after Hector's LSAT scores came in. "I've heard of it," said Gaby, feeling a little let down but making sure she didn't show it.

"It's a Fourth Tier school." Hector said matter-of-factly. Gaby had been with Hector throughout the application process and knew there were no tiers below 4. That's where all the unranked schools were located.

"Wait, but you got a really good LSAT score. I mean I know the other places won't really offer you much in financial aid, but taking out loans from those places seem like a better bet for a job afterwards. CUNY just does not seem like a good bet comparatively."

"Yeah, but CUNY is giving me a free ride. And...I didn't get into NYU." Hector exhaled as if he had been holding his breath for an eternity.

Hector confirmed what Gaby had already suspected.

"I got my rejection letter two weeks ago," said Hector dejectedly.

"Why didn't you tell any of us? We could have been there for you!" Gaby exclaimed - sounding more aggressive than she had intended.

Unbothered, Hector responded, "Nobody could help me with this. This is the biggest disappointment of my life so far and you think you guys being there would have helped?"

"Yes!" Gaby answered. Before she knew it, Hector leaned on her shoulder.

"All that work in undergrad and all studying for the LSAT while working a full-time job...I was a superstar at Stony Brook, and none of that matters!"

"I know Hector...I know..."

After a good while, Hector calmed down with Gaby not letting go of his hand.

"I just feel like a failure. I spoke so big, you know? I told everyone I was going to NYU and I was going to be a hot shot. My whole family is waiting to throw me a NYU party, and I can just see their faces...your faces...when I tell them the truth."

"No! Hector no! I'm so proud of you. You know how hard it is to get into a law school? Seriously, you've accomplished something not many people are able to. You should be proud and we are all so proud of you coming this far. When we first met you, when Alex was your "big brother", your English was only ok and you had so much trouble reading and writing it. Now, you've gotten into law school, law! You know how far you've come?"

Hector hugged Gaby. She always knew how to make him feel better.

"It's really not all bad. I got into Fordham and Cardozo. However, I've decided on CUNY because they offer one of the best public interest programs in the country and I guess that testimonial from Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was convincing." Hector smiled. "Plus, I don't want to be bogged down with student loan debt and have to work in a big firm in order to pay it off. Not only will I be tired out, but I may fall prey to the Golden Handcuffs."

"Oh, the Golden Handcuffs, you mean when you get used to the big money you make and start living a lifestyle in which you're trapped in your job in order to pay for it?"

"Yep, that's the one. You know, I always wanted to work for the Legal Aid Society after they helped my mom get that back pay from that contractor."

"Well, I'm happy for you, and the rest of the gang should know. They're going to be extremely happy for you."

"Yeah, I know..." Hector said thought he was still imagining the disappointment in their faces – the same one he saw on his friend Gaby's face. He and Gaby sat and watched Alex and Tina chase each other around. Alex and Tina tripped and started rolling on the grass. Although they laughed, Gaby and Hector couldn't help but feel a deep sadness at the intimacy of those two.

"Let's wait for those two to finish whatever it is they're doing," said Gaby.

"Good idea," replied Hector. He looked down at his feet not wanting Gaby to see his expression. It was too late, however.

"I'm sorry, Hector." Gaby said.

"Don't worry about it, Gaby. People get rejected all the time, right?

"Yeah..." Gaby said. Hector could tell a wave of sadness fell over Gaby, but she quickly offered him a supporting smile.

They sat there silently taking solace in each other's company.

* * *

Jamal looked on at the four of them and then noticed Lenni and Rob standing by the lake. Casey came back with his pretzel.

"Thanks, Cuz." Jamal said distractedly.

"No problem. You want to hear a joke?" Casey asked as if she was the same 8-year-old girl who bothered Jamal when she came to visit.

"What? How long can one Casey Austin go without telling a joke? Because if that's it then it's a really funny one."

"Well, you won't get to hear it then," Casey said in a mock huff.

"Oh come on, I was just kidding around. Tell me," Jamal said.

"No, you lost your chance. It was pure gold too." Casey put her chin up snootily. She then watched the nearby soccer game. "Those guys and girls are fit. I need to turn up my workouts. Can't get my _**Mrs.**_ Degree looking like this!"

Jamal groaned. He looked at his cousin and wondered what had happened. Yes, Casey still liked to crack a joke or two here and there. However, she simply changed from the fun-loving prankster he knew. It was a subtle change, but he felt something was missing inside of Casey. A lack of whimsy she once had. It was more than just a child growing up. There was a real void. He did not want Casey to catch him looking at her, so he then focused on the brilliant blue sky.

At this moment, Jamal knew how much he missed New York. As hard as he tried, Houston never settled in his mind as home. He went to museums, restaurants, and events the big city had to offer, but he wound up comparing everything to New York. Jamal coughed it up to a born-and-bred New York City superiority complex. He breathed in the air and looked around. He saw Alex and Tina in an embrace. A warmth rushed over him though something just felt off. It was not the type of embrace that signaled security and it worried him.

He then looked at Lenni and Rob who were quietly talking with one another. Jamal figured both were trying to work on whatever project they came thought up. Jamal then wondered what it was like to constantly struggle in one's craft. He struggled with his dissertation but he found that at least his experiments and hypothesis gave him real, tangible results. Being a writer and musician just seemed like a lot of pain with very little to gain to Jamal. Not just monetarily, but the perpetual insecurity of people criticizing , acceptance, or indifference to one's hard work just seemed like a field that only offered suffering. This seemed to be true for the ones who actually make it as well. The volatility of it all just seemed like too much.

Then he turned to Hector and Gaby. Both were in deep conversation. Hector looked troubled and the infectious energy of Gaby was simply missing at this moment. Jamal knew it'd be back once Gaby got up and decided to rejoin the group, but it'd be a little more contrived. This was Jamal's third visit in 6 months and it seemed like Gaby was trying harder with each visit to convince him she was still the same vivacious New York Salvi Latina he had grown to know and love like the rest of the gang. It's funny because despite her being the most extroverted and talkative, Jamal began to suspect that he knew the least about Gaby than anyone else.

As for Hector, Jamal was never particularly close to Hector as he was to everyone else due to the age-difference. Hector was Alex's "little brother" from the social welfare organization Big Brother/Little Brother and therefore was closer to Alex which meant he was also closer to Gaby and Tina. Casey formed a close relationship with Hector due to their age similarities, but that had dissipated somewhat once she went back to Detroit years ago. That said, Jamal felt for Hector the way an older cousin would feel for a younger one who lived across the country. It was distant and polite, but still existing a real familial love that is inherent in close-knit families.

Jamal had a sudden surge of melancholy come over him. Except for Casey and Hector, the gang were roughly 23-26 years of age now, and as close as they are, he could not help but wonder if they would have still been friends if it had not been for Ghostwriter. Though they have maintained their close friendship, Jamal's observations of the group caused him to feel that maybe...just maybe, their friendship was an artificial one.

What did they have in common really? Even though he had Houston as an excuse, Jamal felt certain that if it were not for the Ghostwriter connection, he would not see Lenni, Rob, Alex, Tina, Gaby, and Hector nearly as much as he had in the past, and that if he ran into any of them in the street it would be full of pleasantries and casual conversation, but how many would want to truly delve deep into their lives as they do now.

A part of Jamal knew that none of this should matter because for whatever reason, the fact is that they are close now. And yet, Jamal just could not stop thinking that if the group started to unhinge and separate, would the Ghostwriter connection be enough to bring them back together? Jamal also pondered the idea that though none would actually admit this, deep down inside, maybe in the subconscious, they were all hoping _**he**_ would show up again.

Jamal looked up to the sky, then to random structures in the Park. He sighed. He did not know what he was looking for exactly, only knew he desperately needed a sign or some sort.

"Where are you?" Jamal asked to the breezy air. He could not help but things would have been different if GW stayed.

* * *

Casey studied Jamal's face. Jamal had a tendency of just drifting into space deep in thought. She did not remember when he started doing that, but it had to be some time in college. She was convinced that doctorial programs warped one's mind.

However, she also knew what he was thinking about. Jamal was constantly bothered by Ghostwriter. Out of all the members of the gang, he had been the one who had the most trouble letting go. She knew that Jamal thought nobody else noticed with his avoidance of talking about Ghostwriter, even casually the way the rest of the team did. But they all noticed, and were troubled by it.

Casey pushed back the anger she felt rising inside of her by just thinking about Ghostwriter. She had been the only member he did not say good-bye too as she was back home in Detroit when he bounced from their lives.

Casey regarded Ghostwriter as a fantasy she encountered during her stay in New York while her mother was getting her life together. Kind of like her own version Totoro or the countless other stories of children using their imagination to create a friend to help them through tough times and to deal with traumatic experiences.

Once she had moved back to Detroit to help her mother start fresh and battle her alcoholism, Casey stopped living in her dreams. Ghostwriter was replaced with this obligation to keep her feet firmly in place on the ground, and she would not let anything lift them off. She learned early on that one had to be grounded because if one kept their head in the clouds for too long or dwelled on what was out of reach, they lost all their senses and self-destructed.

Casey tried her hardest to make sure her mom would stay grounded with her, and now that same feeling was taking over regarding her cousin. Casey knew Jamal was in danger or losing his mind. This had been years in the making, and yet, Casey still had no idea how to handle it. All she could do was offer another joke.

* * *

Alex feigned annoyance at Tina wanting to take yet another photo of him while on their way back to the group. Despite his light protestations, Tina knew Alex craved this attention. Anyway, she needed to test out her new camera and simply took advantage of Alex's slight narcissism.

"Ok, Tina, let's take a break please," sighed Alex sincerely. "I'm spent."

"Alright, alright..." said Tina as she was reviewing her shots. "Are you sure we can't take few more?"

" _Em!_ " exclaimed Alex and he just plopped down on the sharp grass.

"Kidding!" replied Tina. Alex stretched his arm upwards as a show that he needed help getting up. As Tina grabbed ahold of his arm, Alex pulled her down. Though a romantic gesture, the two actors lacked the graced needed to pull it off successfully and Tina ended up falling head-first into Alex's torso missing his head by a few centimeters.

"My camera!"

"My stomach!"

"Are you hungry?"

"Ha Ha!" Alex responded.

As Tina rose up, Alex was still plopped down on the ground and showed exaggerated looks of pain. " _Em_ , I need help."

"Yeah I know you do." Tina said dismissively.

"No, I mean it. I'm real pain."

"Alex, I'm not giving you my hand again." Tina said matter-of-factly.

"No, seriously, I need your help...I can't get up."

" _Anh_! Oh my God, what did I do?" Tina started inspecting Alex's ribcage to find the pain.

"That's not going to help, _Em_. This is the only thing that can help me." Alex then tapped his lips.

Tina rolled her eyes before giving him a generous amount of kisses. She knew when she lost.

Tina felt a vibration in Alex's pant pocket. She knew what this meant.

"Hold on, _Em_ ," Alex said as he dug into his pocket. He had trouble grabbing ahold of it. Taking far too long for Tina to take, she reached into his pants and grabbed the phone.

"Thanks...you're getting better at that." Alex said with a flirty wink.

"Thanks a lot," replied Tina as she rolled her eyes.

After some back-and-forth between Alex and the speaker at the other end of the line, Alex told Tina he was needed at a crime scene.

"What is it?" asked Tina.

"They found a woman bloodied up, running around Manhattan half-naked and unwilling to cooperate."

"If it's in Manhattan, why are they calling you?" TIna asked, wondering if Alex would take on another case in Manhattan since he had been lent out to do one recently.

"Well, she was running in Manhattan but her fiance was found dead in Williamsburg, so..."

Tina understood right away. With that, Alex continued, "Yvette is already there, and they need us to play good cop/bad cop."

Tina silently gave Alex a half-hearted smile. It was a smile he was all too used to. He hated the feeling of putting Tina in this situation. He recognized that she put on a brave face for his benefit, and for herself as well.

As much effort as he put in telling Tina she was the most important thing in his life, he was not sure if she believed him. Worse yet, he was not sure if it was true anymore. No doubt Tina was the most important person in his life. Before she shared that status along side his Mama and Papa and sister Gaby, until Alex realized that it was Tina who was on the top of his list.

However, Tina was not competing against any one person, but with society. His calling, his duty to protect and serve was taking up more and more of his time and consciousness. He did not know what to do with these overwhelming feelings.

" _Honey_..."

"You never call me 'honey'," Tina said giving an exaggerated grossed out face. "Are you going to start calling me that when you're trying to get out of trouble?" replied Tina, half-jokingly.

"Probably...forgive me?" Alex gave Tina his trademark smirk as he shrugged his shoulders. In many ways, he was still that 11 year-old boy Tina had a mad crush for. She silently made a wish for that part of Alex to never go away.

"I can't forgive you for something that's not your fault." Tina kissed Alex. Before she knew it Alex held her close in an embrace.

"I'll make it up to you this week," Alex said. He felt her tense up. He wanted more than anything at this moment to put her at ease.

"We won't have time," said Tina looking up at the much taller man, "remember, I'll be tied up with..."

"Post-production," Alex interrupted, "I forgot..." It was Alex's turn to tense up.

"It's ok, we'll find a way." Tina said unconvincingly.

"God, this is all so stupid!" Alex exclaimed as he held her tighter. He just wanted things to work out the way they were supposed to. She was his girlfriend things were supposed to get easier once they had settled into their jobs.

"Alex, it's ok."

"Everything we do now has to be 'penciled in' or scheduled, I just feel like we're trapped in some sort of life that we didn't sign up for."

" _Anh_ , we did sign up for it. We knew what were getting into," Tina said. "Don't worry, we'll get through this," Tina said unsurely, as she cupped Alex's face and kissed him.

"You need to apologize to Jamal though. You know he's only here for a few more days," Tina reminded Alex.

"Yeah, you're right. But let's just stay here for a little while longer."

As much as Tina loved this moment, she couldn't help but wonder about what she needed to cut next and how she was going to solve an issue regarding a denied song right for a crucial scene in her film. She hated feeling overwhelmed with work, but it seemed as though she was always overwhelmed, no matter what she did. With Alex, it seemed like lately, all she had time for were moments like these, and even then, she's thinking about a proper title for her next project. The only she knew to do was to hug him tighter. Of course, he hugged back. He always did.

* * *

Lenni sat down on a bench attempting to write in her journal. However, nothing came out. It had been two years since she submitted anything she felt worth anybody's time. What if she would never make anything worth anyone's time ever again? This sweeping fear was about to engulf her before she took control of herself. She was getting better at taking control of her emotions. She started by snapping out of it forcefully, and then would take stock to remember where she was. This morning, Lenni had promised herself that today would be a great day. Jamal was back in Brooklyn and she was not going to sully his homecoming.

Rob left to sit a nearby bench to write in his notebook as well. Like Lenni, he was having difficulty jotting anything down; but he did not have trouble with writer's block. Instead, he had trouble putting his thoughts into something tangible. He started a project, then moved on before it was complete. He would get little bursts of hope and excitement only to have it fizzle and die just as quick. He was on his way to starting his 13th novel of the year that he quickly knew would end up on his towering pile of unfinished writing projects he would keep for later. He gave himself a date to go back and pick one from the pile to finish only to talk himself out of it. What was he afraid of? Insecurity? Past immaturity revealing itself? Rob could not find the words that were sufficient enough to describe what he felt on paper. Nothing seemed to fit.

Simultaneously, Lenni and Rob looked up to see Tina and Alex in a tight embrace. _How lucky Alex and Tina were,_ they both thought. To the rest of the gang, Alex and Tina always seemed to know where they were going. Even with an unsolvable case, Alex could go home knowing he did all that he could. Tina was working on her third full-length documentary. Her second one won all sorts of local prizes, not an easy feat in New York where everybody was a filmmaker. Although a theatrical release outside the Northeast still eluded her, Tina was hell-bent on making her films.

Lenni could not help but feel a little resentment directed at them. Rob was only envious that Alex and Tina found each other to help inspire motivation. He felt he had not found that muse or support system yet and did not think it would come.

Lenni and Rob then shifted their attention towards Jamal who they caught looking up at the sky. They saw what he saw, a waxing gibbous moon in the sunlit sky. With Jamal, they both knew something was off. Jamal realized his dream of becoming a doctor of Astrophysics...and yet why did it seem that he was never satisfied? Why was he always starving? Hungry for more. This, however, was not a mystery for them to solve. They knew the answer.

Where was Ghostwriter and was it all a dream they shared? If really was a dream, then would truly be better - perpetually dreaming or waking up to reality? That was the real mystery to which nobody wanted the answer.

Within moments, the nice breeze the gang enjoyed sped up with the brilliant blue sky clouding up. Within minutes, it began to storm - violently.

* * *

**Late evening that same day - past Midnight.**

_How can they do that?_ Jamal thought. _They brought up Ghostwriter so casually during dinner._

Jamal strolled along the streets as alone as one can in Brooklyn watching for the puddles from the storm earlier that day. After enjoying dinner with the rest of team _sans_ Alex, he and Casey were on their way home when he had told Casey he was going to walk the block a bit to enjoy Fort Greene before heading back to the house. He sensed Casey asked no further questions because she knew what had been bothering him. He hated that Casey knew what was wrong with him. She was his little cousin, he should not be adding to her worries.

_Why didn't Ghostwriter show himself to the rest of my family! Why did he burden Casey with this knowledge when she was so young and to leave her when she was so young? Why are we still staying loyal to him by keeping him a secret?_

Then Jamal had a painful memory of his first year at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. A jolt of pain hit him in his chest as memories of the sounds of laughter and ridicule returned to him.

The laugher grew louder and more intense. It started echoing in Jamal's head. The sounds compounded on top of one another adding pressure inside his skull. The pressure turned into pain.

Jamal let out a primal scream that put the strangers on the street look his way before some bolted in other directions while others just kept doing whatever they were doing. It's New York, that wasn't the craziest thing some of them saw that day.

Jamal felt eyes on him which only made the memories of that first year more potent, as if he was back in the classrooms, dormitories, quad, and laboratories. He remembered eyes on him then too, with sneers, and various insults.

Jamal shook his head violently to shake the sounds and images out from his mind. It was of no use as it all started overflowing as if he just opened a violently shaken can of carbonated soda.

Jamal then ran. He started running as fast as he could, managing to avoid various people in the street.

Hoping to run faster than his mind could conjure up those memories and sounds, Jamal increased his speed even further.

_It's working!_

The thoughts started dissipating. Jamal started to feel at peace at long last.

Then some shadows surrounded him. There were eight shadowy figures, floating closer to him in a circle.

At first Jamal was afraid they were going to crush him, but instead they were comforting him and then supporting him above their heads. A feeling of warmth flooded through his veins. He had not felt this amazing in such a long time. This beat the feeling of elation he felt when he received his doctorate, or when he received his fellowship.

"Look out below!" Jamal yelled to the crowded Brooklyn streets.

At this moment, Jamal felt as if he could overcome anything, that he could accomplish anything.

Suddenly, Jamal started shaking.

Thoughts to wake up started to flood his mind.

Jamal awakened from his bed.

_A dream?_

Jamal took a few moments to get his bearings. He awakened in a cold sweat and in a state of confusion.

Then, memories of the day came back as if replaying a movie in his head. The breakfast with the family that morning, the long day with the team, the dinner without Alex, the walk with Casey back home. Then going straight to bed since the topic of Ghostwriter bothered Jamal too much to stay awake to entertain tireless Casey.

A weird sensation took over Jamal...one that provided a strange warm discomfort. Contradictory and yet welcoming. Like home. Like waking up back into reality.

Shivering from his cold sweat, Jamal turned towards Bernie the Bear. He quickly grabbed his old friend and clutched tightly onto him as he lied sideways in bed under his comforter. Jamal forced himself to close his eyes, hoping to will himself to sleep.

Opening his eyes momentarily, Jamal looked at an old photograph of the Ghostwriter team and noticed that in this picture, Ghostwriter was still visible. He had been visible in that picture even after his disappearance, and seeing that he still was allowed Jamal to fall into state of relaxation. Jamal felt his eyelids go heavy and floated into a deep sleep. It would be the type of sleep where Jamal could wake up from nicely.


	3. Chapter 2: En La Bodega

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Estella and Eduardo Fernandez's Bodega has become a staple of the neighborhood and even a safe haven for some. No matter how hectic and frustrating things get for Alex Fernandez, Gaby Fernandez, Tina Nguyen, and Lenni Frazier, they know they can always recharge at the Bodega.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is a bit of cursing in this story. Just letting you guys know that I may sprinkle some colorful language in the upcoming chapter. However, I will only do it if I feel a character would genuinely react that way and I will make sure they come from a place of authenticity.
> 
> In the context of this story, "Anh" is a Vietnamese term of endearment for a man in a romantic relationship while "Em" is the female equivalent.
> 
> Also, this is my first chapter in like three years. I just started outlining the story and realized how much I missed it. Hopefully, I will be able to keep the chapters coming. I promise they all won't be this long.

_Timbero, toca la timba!_  
_Toca la timba...!_

_Timba timbero me voy pa la timba_

_Oh la vida como bota (me voy pa la Timba)_  
_Toda mi vida (pero voy pa la Timba) (me voy pa la timba)_  
_Oh la vida como bota (me voy pa la timba)_  
_Toda mi vida (pero me voy pa la timba)_

_-_ Flamingosis

**Early Fall 2005**

Estella and Eduardo Fernandez were in the middle of the morning rush, juggling various regulars who needed their Cafe con Leche fixes with random non-stop walk-ins looking for cigarettes, candy, or packaged sweets to go about their day.

Eduardo smiled at his wife who was a pro at handling their old school, non-digitized register as he was quickly flipping eggs and frying bacon on his portable double burner. "Bacon, egg, and cheeses" on a roll were a staple of any NYC corner store with a grill. He completed four orders in row before he was able to take a small break to find his bearings. Then Estella gave him a knowing look to which Eduardo responded by standing straighter and doing his best to not look like the advanced Quinquagenarian man he was.

The financial success of the new small hot food menu at the Bodega sparked new arguments between Eduardo and Estella centering on whether they should expand their small little deli that currently served various cold-cut sandwiches into a much bigger deli with a grill. Estella felt the Bodega was finally hitting its stride after all their years scrimping and saving as they were only "getting by".

With the neighborhood changes, the morning rush would expand into a "take-out brunch" every day of the week, which would then lead into lunch where their cold-cut sandwiches and salads with their various arroz dishes became a neighborhood favorite. She felt expanding the kitchen would be financially risky with little pay off compared to what they were making now.

Eduardo argued that now was the perfect time to expand. It was simple, he figured. He argued they could easily expand the deli and add a grill by cutting the size of Gabriela's old room. They could even possibly add some seating considering the size of her room was larger than many New York apartments. Eduardo dreamed of a fully-realized menu where they would have a steam table to serve Central American dishes featuring arroz with various kinds of meat and beans. With a grill, they would be able to serve hot sandwiches or salad variations for the low-carb crowd. He knew they would make a killing that way.

He scoffed at Estella telling him that they were getting old and that this was no time to tackle on more labor than they could handle, especially with the fact that Alex and Gaby were not interested in taking over the Bodega or even helping out now that they had their own careers and lives. She also informed him they would need to make enough money to employ outside help to run the grill. As of now, they were relying on part-timers who would come to help receive and shelve the shipment, and who were scheduled for the hours Estella and Eduardo could not work with expanded store schedule that kept the Bodega's doors open well into the night. She asked him if he seriously considered this decision. Their arguments would end in an impasse only to continue from the top later that day or on the next day.

Eduardo inhaled the heavy aroma of the Cafe con Leche and proudly beamed at what he and Estella had accomplished. What started out as a run-down, rat-infested space that nobody wanted to lease on the corner of two sketchy streets in the mid-1980s, was now an inviting place with its bilingual orange banner and a fresh array of vegetables and fruits located near the entrance.

Despite the Bodega evolving into a hotspot born out of necessity by the residents of the neighborhood, much of it has remained the same since they first opened their doors. The window displays were still cramped with unrefrigerated egg cartons lining up the windows, bananas and other fruit hung from the hooks on low ceilings for easy access, short-length aisles of canned goods and groceries, and an assortment of bags and boxes being placed wherever there was space. The frozen and refrigerated food/drink items would face the register on the opposite side of the store. Packets and boxes of medicine, cigarettes, cigarellos, and other assorted goods made a colorful arrangement behind the register. Around the register were various and almost random products that would be purchased by customers on impulse. This bodega was completed with its trusty hot chocolate machine that still worked after nearly fifteen years of Eduardo's impulse decision to purchase it as he decided something other than coffee needed to be sold during the harsh and icy winters. Alex and Gaby drew up on that hot chocolate.

This hodgepodge of goods deceptively carelessly placed only added to the Bodega's charm, Eduardo thought. Some of the newer, artier residents would call this cluttered environment an "anti-minimalistic aesthetic" going against the tide of clean spaces and clean surfaces. Eduardo had no idea what they were talking about but enjoyed taking their cash or credit card charges with a $0.50 surcharge to cover the credit card payments for purchases below $10.00. Estella joked with him that their new catchphrase should be "No, we don't take American Express."

The ringing of the register coupled with the non-stop playing of Latin-American music on the radio that both the Fernandezes and the customers enjoyed was Eduardo's favorite soundtrack in the world. It was not until Estella pointed out that the Bodega slowly but surely became one of the many stores they grew up around San Salvador that he realized everything about the way the Bodega looked was no accident but made by his design. It made him feel like he was back home...a home where he could no longer return.

Then Eduardo heard some quick stomping from the apartment attachment door. He readied himself to step back as a six foot-one inch figure sped past him while greeting him and Estella towards the exit.

Eduardo and Estella shared a look before smiling at one another before five unassociated customers came in to order breakfast sandwiches. As he busied cracking the eggs onto the pan, he saw Estella run towards the exit as well.

* * *

Alex Fernandez rushed out of the bodega - nearly knocking into an older man with graying hair. Alex reflexively spun around the man to avoid running into him resulting in loose papers flying out of his messenger bag. Gaby had warned him to make sure his papers were secure in that worn-out bag with the loose pockets after she lost some of papers while running for the N train when she borrowed the bag. The man angrily yelled something in Yiddish to him. Alex could not be sure, but he guessed they were some choice words.

"Alejandro!" yelled Estella. Her face expressed an interesting contrast of amusement and motherly concern. "What are you doing on the floor, hurry, pick up your papers! And you forgot to eat breakfast, hijo!"

"It's ok Mama, I'll go and get a bagel from a cart of something," answered Alex with his own mix of amusement and frustration over looking like a fool.

"Alejandro, that's not real food!" yelled out Mrs. Canela, an elderly lady who shopped at the bodega every week since the Fernandezes first opened their doors. "What kind of son are you to make your Mama worry so much?" Alex stifled a laugh as he saw Mrs. Canela shake her head. She had been scolding him from a place of warmth and love for as long as he could remember.

"It's ok Mrs. Canela. I always get a coffee and a banana to go with it."

"Aye, you have coffee and bananas at the bodega! What a waste of money! A boy like you needs to save, you have a lot of things you will need in the future." replied Mrs. Canela, continuing to shake her head at Alex.

Before Alex could answer, he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey Prince Charming, dropped some papers?" said a tall Guatemalan man in his thirties.

"Oh, hey Roberto. I just dropped some papers," said Alex more annoyed at himself than anything.

"You need help picking them up?" Robert asked.

"Nah, I got the last of them, but thanks." Alex said flashing Roberto a smile.

"What are you doing up so early, Roberto?" asked Estella. Alex and Estella knew Roberto worked long nights as a drag performer at various bars in the City and wasn't usually up before 10 a.m. Roberto innocently flirted with Alex when they first met some years ago while Alex was visiting from NYU. Alex could not help but be flattered that a good looking guy like Roberto thought Alex was cute, so it was natural that Alex had a soft spot for the man. What Alex most appreciated was that Roberto would help Estella and Eduardo Fernandez around the store and keep an eye of them now that he and Gaby were no longer around to do it.

"I'm on my way to the Bronx. I'm meeting my Mama. We're going over wedding plans."

"So nice that you're letting your mama help you out like that," said Estella.

"Yeah, so nice. Roberto and David have been together for only one year and are getting married already," said Mrs. Canela who then turned to Alex and shook her head. Alex had no idea what he did now.

"Oh, Mrs. Canela, we're not getting 'married', but having a commitment ceremony, you know we can't get married in New York," answered Roberto.

" _Si_ , I know. But, New York will decide that in court, right?"

"My fiancé told me the 'Appellate Division' will make a decision some time later this year, but I shouldn't hold my breath. Nice of that Asian judge to order that New York had to perform same-sex marriage though." Roberto's fiancé David was a City University of New York law grad who recently took the Bar Exam and got a job at South Brooklyn Legal Services. Alex asked Roberto to see if David could help Hector get a job there.

Suddenly, Alex saw the familiar side door swing open.

"Hey Alex! Looking sharp. Is that a new suit? Oh hey Mrs. Canela, Roberto, Estella," said Max Frazier, walking out of that side door.

"Hey Max," they all said in near unison.

"Whoa, that was kinda freaky," laughed Max.

"Where are you headed to, Mr. Frazier?" asked Alex.

"Alex, you know to just call me Max," responded Max smiling.

"Anyway, you only dated one year and you know you want to be together!" Mrs. Canela interrupted. All eyes darted towards the four foot-nine inch Dominican woman. "Alex, you've been with Tina forever and still aren't engaged. Shame on you for making your Mama worry!" Mrs. Canela said. "Your mama y papa worked so hard, you need to pay them back!"

"By marrying?" Alex said, amused by the situation even though he was now going to be late for an interrogation he was coming into the precinct for - defeating the purpose of him rushing out in the first place.

Alex noticed that Max gave Estella an uncomfortable glance and she just shrugged her shoulders as if to say "it is what it is with Mrs. Canela."

"Yes! Marrying, giving your mama y papa nietas y nietos for them to play with! They're getting so old now."

"Mrs. Canela! Come on!," Alex responded out of embarrassment. Grandkids? That was a bit too much for Alex to think about now.

"You're a good boy! You need to be happy! You already know what you want, so just get it," Mrs. Canela said.

"Alex, go ahead and catch your train," Estella said. "Mrs. Canela, why don't you come in and have some cafe con leche."

"Yes," Roberto added, "Why don't we do that? Let's enjoy a little brunch at the Bodega? My treat."

"I just want Alejandro to know..." Mrs. Canela continued. Alex thought she was extra ornery this morning.

"Alejandro, hurry up and catch your train," Eduardo Fernandez calmly said at the Bodega's doors. Eduardo then walked towards Mrs. Canela and offered her his arm, to which she gladly took before they both entered the Bodega.

Alex was grateful for the assist from his dad.

"Nice seeing you Max, Mrs. Canela, Roberto. I'll see you later, Papa y Mama!" Alex said as he ran towards the G train.

"Eat breakfast! I don't care if you're late!" Estella screamed out.

As Alex stood in the congested subway, listening to his iPod Nano, and having his back bounce off his neighbor's belly, he couldn't help but think how comforting the Bodega and his neighborhood was. Then he thought about what Mrs. Canela said about him getting married to Tina. Alex could not help but smile. He wanted Tina to have dinner at the bodega some time this week.

* * *

**EARLY AFTERTOON**

Tina Nguyen was focusing on her shot of the striking transgender woman outside a Chelsea Piers bathroom. The wind harshly blew their hair as Tina was preparing her camera. Andromeda was mouthing words in front of two gendered bathroom stalls - preparing her statements. Tina noticed on-lookers were giggling and making comments about the group of transwomen and transmen, who surrounded her. Any apprehension Tina felt with filming the scene went away as a fire in the pit of her belly rose. Her resolve to ensure that these women and men's point-of-view were expressed.

Tina's interest in policy intimidation and bullying started when she befriended a transgender lawyer who asked Tina if she could help her organization film a "Know Your Rights" training video for visiting clients and for cultural competency trainings. This project resulted in Tina being inspired to make a full-blown documentary on the lives of trans individuals in New York once Tina secured funding.

The hardships that trans individuals face was a sore subject for Alex as he was a member of the NYPD who were heavily exposed and criticized by the subjects of Tina's film. Their criticisms hit too close to home for him because he was becoming increasinly disenfranchised with his assignments at the department.

As Tina again arranged her flyaway hair out of her face, Calliope silently strode towards her and tied her hair in a braid so that her hair would stop flying in her face without ceremony. Tina filled with a feeling of warm comfort by this act. Calliope was another subject of Tina's documentary and Tina was honored to be considered a friend of hers given Calliope's initial resistance to speak out about her experiences.

"Thank you Calliope," said Tina appreciatively.

"It's nothing, I could tell you were getting annoyed with the wind." Calliope said with a shy smile before running back to her spot among the other transwomen and transmen who were providing a human barrier so that Tina could get her shot.

"Ok, Tina, the light is good right now. You'll be able to see Andromeda clearly," Koji said. Koji was Tina's cinematographer and all-around assistant. He had some years experience before her agent, Sandra Nakano suggested they work together. This resulted in a very fruitful and symbiotic relationship. Koji had a visual arts background which helped Tina capture some beautiful shots for her previous works. This time, he helped her capture the harshness of the city and the environments her subjects lived in.

"Ok, boss, let me know when you're ready to shoot," Mickey, Tina's cameraman said. Mickey was a friend of Koji's who he suggested to be her camera man as he was physically strong and could have a single-minded focus in shooting as nothing ever fazed him.

Tina smiled in response. Mickey gave her a toothy grin and a thumbs up.

Truth-be-told, Tina was excited for today's shoot. Although this had been a scene of intimidation for many of her subjects, she simply loved Chelsea Piers. She loved the bustle of bikers, runners, tired locals sunbathing, customers at the local eateries, and simple pedestrians walking by. She would sometimes come here with Alex whenever they had a day off together to just relax and enjoy one another's company.

With her camera in order thanks to Mickey, and Koji helping with the human barricade, and she had the shot she wanted. "Ok Andromeda, before I shoot, are you comfortable with what you're going to say?"

"Yes, I think I have it now," Andromeda said.

"Are you sure? You need more time?" Tina said.

"No, I got it," Andromeda said.

"Alright," Tina said, unsure if she should give Andromeda a pep talk. Tina decided against it as she felt it would have been condescending and that she should instead trust her subject.

"Ok, places every one!" Tina shouted as she prepared for the shot.

* * *

The first few takes were mired by people obliviously walking into the shot despite Andromeda's friends and Koji haphazardly blocking the small space for them to film. Andromeda's penchant for speaking too fast and losing her place in her off-the-cuff statements about police intimidation and enforcement of bathroom forced Tina to film more takes than she expected. Tina also wanted to film some shots of Andromeda walking around Chelsea Piers for some transitional shots to add to the atmosphere of the film and for the audience to warm to Andromeda and was fearful she was losing the light to capture her well.

Tina noticed Andromeda was becoming more frenzied with every take and started to quiver.

"Hey, Andromeda, do you need to stop?" Tina asked.

"I'm so nervous, Tina...I'm just freezing up. I'm scared I'm gonna say something stupid! You know I dropped out of school, and what if I say something that make people think trans people are all dumb?" Andromeda asked. Tina noticed Andromeda's shaking was growing more pronounced.

"Hey...hey! You're not dumb ok!" Tina said hoping to assure Andromeda.

Andromeda scoffed in response.

"No, I mean it. You're a leader of a community. So many look up to you. You've survived so much in your life and you're thriving now. I chose you for this movie because I know you have so much insight to give and so much to say. You are what this movie needs..."

Andromeda looked straight into Tina. Tina felt as if Andromeda was sizing her up. Then Tina noticed Andromeda calming down. "Just how can I say what I think you need me to say? To help our people?"

"Remember, just speak from your own experiences. You don't have to pretend to make it grandeur or, conversely, to downplay anything. Just be yourself. We want your story, your truth, nobody else's. What is important is that you say what you truly want to say, nothing else." Tina offered a supportive smile, which seemed to bring some color back into Andromeda's face.

Tina's studies and experience taught her that one of the most important tenants of filming a subject is to gain their trust and allow them to shape the story. She was careful to make sure she was not invoking her own biases and perspective during an actual subject testimonial - especially when it was a subject regarding a community she of which was not a member.

Despite her reassurances that Andromeda should speak from her heart, Tina hoped they would not need too many more takes as not only did she want to capture some shots of Andromeda in the area, she feared that she would be running late to a shopping appointment with Gaby and Lenni.

Tina prepared another shot once Andromeda nodded to her that she was ready.

"Ok, take 25, action!" Tina shouted.

Andromeda closed her eyes, and then looked at the camera. She looked like a totally different person. She now had the face of a brave warrior shaking off the shackles of oppression. She was ready to fight.

"Everyone needs to use the bathroom, and they deserve access to a safe restroom! However, what bathroom do I go into? I am a woman! But people see me as a man. If I go to a woman's bathroom, where I feel most comfortable, I some times get women screaming at me or have the police come and either give me a ticket or arrest me for posing a threat. I ain't here to threaten anybody. I just want to use the bathroom in peace. I can't tell you how many times I've been to this bathroom and looked at the traffic to make sure too many people aren't in there for my own safety. And once I am in there, I try to hurry the fuck up because the last thing I need is some scared woman screaming at me or getting the police. I'm too fucking scared to use the men's restroom. One time I went to a men's restroom at a restaurant and these guys came in, surrounded me, pushed me against the wall, called me all sorts of nasty things, and then almost jumped me. I only went in there because I was told I had to use the men's restroom by a manager. I was once threatened by a police officer that I would be charged with a sex crime and be labeled a sex offender if I went to a women's restroom if a little girl was in there. Again, I tell you, I only want to use the bathroom! I want to do a private act that it was designed for. I'm not there to check anyone out."

Andromeda's comfort level was obviously at the highest it had been all day. She started sassing the camera and pointing out the gendered bathroom doors.

On-lookers and several passerby started to crowd. Some started rumbling, both in support and in opposition, but Andromeda's friends quickly hushed them while others self-restrained themselves as they knew Tina was filming. The shot was perfect. The clouds had covered the sun just enough so there wouldn't be any glare. There was enough background activity going on to make the shot look active.

Tina was excitement could not be contained and she betrayed a hint of a smile. This was the take she knew Andromeda wanted, and this was the shot she wanted.

Tina suddenly felt the crowd was too quiet.

"And the fucking police..." Andromeda said. Suddenly Tina saw that she had a worried look on her face.

"Excuse me, _miss_ , you can't shoot here," said a officer, who Tina made out to be in his mid-twenties. _Alex's age_ , Tina thought. Unlike Alex, he did not seem to have a lot of experience.

"Yes, I can. This is a public space. I am allowed to shoot here and I don't need a permit." Tina said calmly and surely, not breaking eye contact with the two officers. She was well-versed in where she was and was not allowed to shoot. "It is only me, a guy with a camera, and one person. I don't have a large crew nor am I creating a hazard or going into private areas compromising the privacy of the public."

The officer seemed at a lost as to what to do next. The other two officers with him looked annoyed and started striding towards Tina. The second officer, who Tina ascertained was the leader of the trio with the most experience as he was by far the oldest of the group crossed his arms while the third officer looked a little uneasy about the altercation. Tina recognized the third officer at a police function where she accompanied Alex. She wondered if he recognized her in-kind.

"You're wrong. You are creating a _haphazard_ situation. You're making a scene," the second officer said forcefully with a good amount of aggression. The first officer was growing bolder as he smirked at Tina. Tina noticed that Andromeda retreated into silence, which upset her.

Tina wondered if the officers noticed that Mickey kept filming - as Tina instructed him to do in case this happened. She also instructed Koji to stay with the group of subjects in case something happened and to open his handheld camera just in case.

Tina heard loud murmurs among the crowd. Tina turned to look at the crowd that had gathered. It was much larger than it had been when she was actually filming. Then Tina turned back towards Andromeda's direction and saw the first officer forcefully grab Andromeda and lead her to a less crowded area near the bathrooms but still within eyesight. Andromeda did not resist. _Probably a survival skill she picked up_ , Tina thought.

Tina turned towards Mickey and non-verbally told him to follow her with the camera as she made her way towards Andromeda. This time she wanted the officers to know the were filming. She turned towards Koji's direction and saw his handheld camera was already on them. _Good,_ Tina thought.

Then Tina felt someone grab the hook of her arm to turn her away from Andromeda and the first officer.

"Didn't you hear me! You're causing a ruckus and a hazardous situation!" The second officer spat at Tina as he leaned over her most likely hoping to use his big size to bully Tina into submission.

Ignoring the wads of spit that landed on her face, Tina stood her ground and calmly said, "This crowd is here because you began to make a scene. If you'd go away, the crowd will disperse. And the hazard will be gone."

The third officer Tina then quickly took the second officer aside and pointed to Mickey, then Andromeda, then the crowd, and then Tina. Tina did not take the camera off of Andromeda. Andromeda's friends started getting antsy and began to yell at the officers to let them shoot. Then they pointed to other people at the Pier who were shooting their own videos with their cameras.

Then, members of the crowd started chanting to let her shoot. This filled Tina's heart and gave her more courage to stand up to the officers.

Then, Tina started to worry as crowd support could backfire and make the officers more inclined to make arrests. However, a moment later, the officers grabbed the first officer away from Andromeda. The third officer then winked at her, smirked, and said, "tell Fernandez to call 10th Precinct some time, and to ask for Officer Crane. He owes me a game of basketball." Then, Officer Crane walked off with the others.

Tina breathed a sigh of relief. She wondered if Officer Crane had finally recognized Tina and decided to inform his colleagues to let her go as the girlfriend of a fellow member of the force. This thought caused a rising anger inside of Tina that she was working to suppress as she wanted her plan to keep shooting and get the crowd support to intimidate the officers to let them shoot be the reason that they left them alone.

Putting her feelings aside, Tina went up to Andromeda and asked her if she was ok. Andromeda looked at the ground and then the sky. Tina could see tears forming and wondered if they should call it a day. Then Andromeda hardened, looked at the crowd and then back at Tina. "Ok, you said you wanted to walk and shoot over there?" Andromeda smiled and pointed to the pier itself.

"Yeah, let's do it," Tina smiled. Half of the crowd applauded and dispersed - going about the rest of their business.

The clouds shifted and sun shone a light on the Piers. Tina was worried that there might be a glare, but she was happy to get the much-needed warmth.

* * *

**MIDAFTERNOON - Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY**

At 90th precinct, Alex was busy over looking over key items of a counterfeit sting he and other detectives had uncovered. He had already spent four hours writing detailed reports on how he obtained the evidence to make sure they would be admissible in court. He knew it would be at the utmost importance to ensure that none of these items would fall under the exclusionary rule (that is evidence deemed inadmissible in court because they were obtained illegally).

Alex also had a stack of reports to proofread from his partners in this case as he gained a reputation in his branch for his meticulous reports. All of his years solving crimes with the Ghostwriter team prepared him well when it came to finding evidence and not letting any detail get past him.

In this particular case, Alex and other detectives discovered a ring of business owners who made a substantial profit by selling counterfeit designer merchandise. Although the Patrol Bureau usually handled cases like these, this happened to be a more complicated case that required further investigation.

One patrolling officer discovered a simple counterfeit transaction by chance. Usually, the NYPD would turn a blind eye into these sorts of cases, but there was something about this particular transaction that caught the police officer's eye.

At this particular stand on Mott St., the officer noticed a group of tourists yelling at the cashier. Their necks were noticeably bright red. Yelling and screaming was not unusual in New York City, but this one seemed to have the potential to turn violent. One tourist grabbed the cashier by his collar, while another employee grabbed a baseball bat. As the officer broke up the fight before it became serious, the tourists told him that they had bought bottles of Chanel No. 5 and Calvin Klein's CK One Cologne from this very stand which gave them all rashes. Furthermore, although the perfume smelled like the brand the tourists thought they were buying, the perfume had an intoxicating effect, which resulted in a trip to the emergency room. The cashier and his co-worker turned out to be the stand owner and his son.

The police officer then started questioning the stand owner in the back about his merchandise. The stand owner kept insisting that his products were authentic. However, the officer, going on instinct, decided to call back-up and confiscate the perfumes. Before he could grab a bottle to investigate further, he noticed that the stand owner's wife was furiously talking on the phone while nervously stealing glances at the officer periodically. The officer found more unmarked bottles and other counterfeit items in the back which led to the arrests of the stand owner, his wife, and their barely adult-aged son.

Interrogations at the precinct were not fruitful as the stand owner and his wife called their attorney, and were not cooperating. However, their son, at a separate interrogation, before he invoked his Sixth Amendment right to counsel, said that his father and mother were forced to sell the products or risk harm to their business or their person. Although the son did not know too much information since his father and mother were in charge of the business, Alex was able to convince him to give him at least two names and numbers that the son knew with the promise to provide documents and contacts he could find.

For his cooperation, the NYPD allowed the son to go free while they continued their investigation under the promise he would provide the officers with some names and documents. The stand owner and his wife's attorney convinced the judge to let them go at their own recognizance at their arraignment with a court date pending. The NYPD hoped they could use their felony charges as leverage to convince them to make a deal to avoid time in prison by outing some bigger names.

A few days later, the stand closed shop, and the family disappeared.

This lead to the Detective Bureau getting involved as the son's comments hinted at some sort of conspiracy and small business intimidation. Although Alex was working at the Williamsburg precinct, he had a reputation for being able to gather enough evidence to at least bring forth charges of the selling of counterfeit goods during his time as a police officer in Brooklyn. This prompted the lower Manhattan offices to ask if he could help with the investigation. Owing the Manhattan officer a favor, Deputy Inspector McQuade reluctantly pulled Alex out of the bloodied, half-naked Brooklyn woman running in Manhattan case.

Two months of intensive police work later; the detectives were able to find where the family was hiding, and extradite them back to New York. With even bigger threats looming against them, the family finally relented to cooperate - leading Alex down a rabbit hole of crime families and information gathering.

Thanks to Alex's abilities in persuading reluctant or stubborn informants to talk either with charm or charming intimidation, the NYPD finally compiled enough evidence to arrest three families distributing such goods. Alex fought to provide clemency to those on the lower rungs, including the shop keeper, his wife, and son, so they would be willing to testify fully. This led to the NYPD compiling enough witnesses willing to testify that those families of thugs used intimidation tactics to induce them to buy and sell the toxic perfume and many other goods. With a great number of witnesses and the gathered physical evidence collected from the stand and from documents linking the toxic perfume and other counterfeit goods to various people who then linked themselves to the crime families, the Bureau recommend the case to the District Attorney.

Although Alex had no doubt that they needed to stop the selling of such products to consumers for public health reasons, and to stop crime families from intimidating others, he was uneasy about the case.

First, only a small percentage of those bottles were actually toxic. The rest were just counterfeit merchandise, in name. The products smelled the same as the original. Secondly, he felt that the so-called families of thugs were mostly regular distributors of counterfeit material that paid those stand-owners well and had no idea there some of the products they normally sold would be defective this time around when it regularly didn't harm anyone. Thirdly, he felt his abilities to persuade many individuals to sell those families out were overstated as he felt that other officers' threats of deportation for many immigrant-owners of the stands and their connections were the main reason they were willing to cooperate.

Alex wondered if the NYPD could actually follow-through on deportation given the legal status of almost all the witnesses who may not have known their rights and didn't listen to their attorneys, if they had any, or r if it was just a cheap threat to scare already scared people. Alex wavered constantly on his position.

In the end, he rationalized that this sort of puffery was sometimes needed to get these cases moving and solved. Alex had no doubt that crimes were committed, and he knew that the justice should be served. However, he still could not help but be sympathetic to the small business dealings that benefitted families and small business owners as the people who would really benefit from these arrests were big corporations protecting their brands and millions or even billions in profit.

After two years working as a police officer and now two as a detective, Alex felt these thoughts creeping into his mind more often than before. It was not as if this should have been a surprise. Studying sociology with a focus on criminology courses at NYU had taught him that these many policies were created to punish the most vulnerable populations and perpetuated social inequality. However, studying it on a theoretical level was quite different than seeing things first-hand...and having a hand in it.

* * *

**LATE AFTERNOON - Lea Gentry Consignment Shop**

In a tiny and cluttered consignment shop, Gaby, Lenni, and Tina were wading through racks of clothes as they looked for the perfect outfit. They just were not sure what those outfits were yet.

"Try this one on, Lenni!" Gaby said excitedly. "You'll look hot in this dress."

"That one has polka dots," said Lenni dismissively barely acknowledging it.

"What's wrong with polka dots?" asked Gaby looking closely at the dress.

"It makes me think of that 1950s nostalgia those Bettie Page types wear," Lenni responded. Leni continued to go through a rack of dresses. "Nothing wrong with that, but that's not my style."

"Fine, I'll try it on for myself. Nobody could mistake me for a 1950s Bettie Page gal," said Gaby amused. She rushed to the small dressing room.

"I don't know about that, you have the ass and boobs," Lenni shouted in Gaby's direction laughing. Tina giggled in response. Some other shoppers looked annoyed at the noise they were making.

Tina wondered if Gaby was using this opportunity to shop for herself when they were supposed to be picking out an outfit for Lenni's first date in over a year.

"Oh, I like this!" Lenni exclaimed. Lenni grabbed a shiny multi-colored mosaic jacket seemed patched together with various crazy designs from an assortment of fabric. _It was was totally Lenni,_ Tina thought.

"Ugh" screamed Gaby, "this dress looks awful on me!"

Some women looked towards the loud mouth in the dressing room, which prompted Lenni and Tina to take a pile of what they had already collected and make their way towards Gaby and the dressing room.

* * *

"Hey, eyes back here, how do I look?" Lenni asked, carefully taking stock of her reflection.

Tina sat crisscrossed on the floor of the dressing room in-between Gaby and Leni. Tina could not help but be jealous of Lenni's outfit. It looked totally edgy and cool while accentuating her body. Her body wasn't curvy the way Gaby's was, but her taller frame with longer torso allowed Lenni to accessorize and layer in ways Tina could not get away with.

"Wow, that's hot," said Gaby also admiring Lenni.

"Yeah, I didn't think all those pieces would work together, but they totally do," said Tina.

"Yeah, if he feels the same way we do, you wouldn't be wearing it long," joked Gaby as she finished putting on all the discarded clothes and then proceeded to peel them off one-by-one burlesque-style.

The three exploded into laughter.

"Excuse me, are you almost done in there?" asked another customer.

"Yeah, just give us a second," said Gaby breathlessly from all of the laughter. "I like this store, but they need more than 3 tiny dressing rooms."

"Well, it's not Marshalls," replied Lenni.

"I'm not asking for Marshalls, just a Buffalo Exchange...hell, these limited number of dressing rooms is just one step above a pop up." Gaby responded.

Tina grabbed one of nicer button-ups Lenni had rejected it and handed it to Gaby, thinking it would be a good change-of-pace for her. "Why don't you try this on?"

"Thanks, Tina...thanks for the most beige shirt you could find," joked Gaby.

"Excuse me, but that's the most beige shirt Lenni could find," answered Tina.

"Hey! I thought it would look good on me!" replied Lenni.

"Anyway, it might look good on you," said Tina sincerely.

"My boobs aren't going to fit into this shirt," said Gaby.

Lenni looked at the two of them amused while still checking out her outfit in the mirror.

Gaby tried buttoning her shirt to no avail and then threw it down with the rest of the pile of clothes she just peeled off burlesque-style.

"Man, my boobs hurt," whined Gaby.

Lenni absent-mindedly said, "Maybe you're pregnant." Lenni stared at herself at the mirror, checking out her ass, and noticed Gaby's vacant expression reflecting back on her.

Gaby silently plopped down.

"Oh Gaby..." said Tina. Tina crouched down and hugged Gaby. _How could this be?_ Tina wondered. She knew Gaby was adventurous, but she didn't think she was the type to practice unsafe sex. Further, _who was she having sex with?_ Tina wondered. Tina was unsure whether the fact Gaby was conducting unsafe practices or the fact she hid the fact she was having sex with someone from her hit her harder. Then Tina wondered if it was just a one-night stand that Gaby did not feel was worth mentioning...even so... _Do we no longer share these things?_ Tina wondered.

"No, I was just kidding!" yelled Lenni as she also crouched down to Gaby's level. Tina wondered if Lenni thought she could make the pregnancy disappear by saying that.

"No, I'm late and my boobs are so sore and bigger than usual!" Gaby said in a defeated manner.

"It's your imagination," said Lenni. "You've been late before and your boobs are always big."

"I know my body, my boobs are never sore," Gaby responded.

"But you're not even having sex with anyone," said Lenni.

"I am," said Gaby.

"Why haven't you told us you're seeing someone," asked Lenni.

This tense exchange between Lenni and Gaby snapped Tina out of her inner monologue as she moved towards Gaby and put her head on her shoulder to support her.

There was a moment of silence among the three friends.

"Are you done yet?" screamed the same woman.

"Jesus, there's try bothering the other dressing rooms!" yelled Gaby.

"Come on," said Tina, taking charge of the situation.

* * *

The three women crowded Lenni's bathroom in the flat above the Bodega. Lenni thought it was strange that they could find out Gaby was pregnant just a few feet away from where Gaby's parents were.

"Ok, we'll find out in five minutes," said Tina.

The three women just stared at each other.

"So, who is it?" asked Lenni. She needed to know. She hoped Gaby knew.

"Some guy I started seeing a few months ago," said Gaby exasperatedly.

"Why haven't you told us?" asked Tina. Lenni sensed Tina was uneasy about something beyond the pregnancy.

"Because, he's married," said Gaby.

Lenni and Tina stared at Gaby for a while trying not to betray a look of shock and judgment.

 _Married?_ Lenni thought. For all the years she knew Gaby, she knew Gaby liked to have fun and go against the grain, but she never thought Gaby would ever do that. _What was she thinking?_ _Did she think about the other woman?_ Lenni then calmly inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth - hoping Gaby did not notice. Lenni felt Tina's gaze at her before focusing intently on Gaby.

"Look, whatever you guys have to say to me about that, I've already said a million times to myself, but I couldn't help myself," said Gaby defensively, looking straight to the ground and avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"You didn't use a condom?!" yelled Lenni.

"No, I did! Or at least I thought I did, we were really drunk," said Gaby too numb to really cry anymore. Gaby was thinking.

Before Lenni could say anything, Tina shot Lenni a look to not say anymore.

* * *

They sat in silence for a minute. Gaby's head racing. Gaby was trying to remember whether she had used the condom the last time she had sex. Not able to take the silence anymore, Gaby said, "I've already decided that I'm having an abortion if I'm pregnant."

Lenni and Tina looked at Gaby and nodded in support. They knew it was too early to have that conversation. Lenni and Tina both did not want to dissuade Gaby from having an abortion but they wanted Gaby to be sure of her decision if it came to that.

Tina felt disgusted that she could not relieve the tension some how. She tried not to look at Gaby too much for fear that it would make Gaby self-conscious.

Gaby self-consciously stared at Lenni's bathroom floor.

Lenni stood at the corner with her hands in her pockets not looking at any particular direction. She felt aimless and restless.

Tina periodically checked pregnancy stick looking for a sign. The rate of checking increased as time moved closer to the five minute mark.

"Just letting you know, Sandra is happy with her decision to get an abortion," said Tina, "She spoke to me recently and said if she had to do it all over again, she would. She was in no place to raise a child." Tina was referring to her agent.

"My friend, Leila too," Lenni added, casually referring to her friend and famous indie rock singer Leila Arie.

Gaby smiled at both of them appreciating their support.

Tina smiled at Lenni and then smiled Gaby. "Listen, no matter what, you have us and we'll be there for you."

Gaby smiled at Tina, who then smiled at Lenni, who then smiled at Gaby. The three of them then burst into uncontrollable laughter. They were not sure what they were laughing at or whether they were even laughing at the same thing. However, at this moment, Gaby knew everything was going to be ok.

Gaby smelled the rice and beans her father and mother were selling downstairs. She was suddenly very hungry.

"Ok, I think time's up," said Gaby as she propped herself up and made her way towards the stick.

* * *

Gaby, Lenni, and Tina walked into the Bodega.

"Hey guys, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?" asked Estella. "You just missed your father, he's picking up a some produce. Wouldn't you know it? We're out of all sorts of things. I think that juice craze is coming back. Thank goodness Roberto is watching the kitchen..."

"I'm starving," Gaby interrupted as she hugged her mom. Gaby clutched her mother tightly as she wanted to just take shelter in her skin and smell.

Lenni were hungry as well. Lenni suddenly worried if her father would see the negative pregnancy test in the trash bin, but then thought nothing of it. There was no shame if he saw it. She'll just say it was hers. Right now, her mind was on some rice and beans.

Tina looked around the Bodega letting the familiarity of the store and the Estella Fernandez wave a feeling of comfort all around her. At this moment, there was no other place she rather be.

* * *

**LATE EVENING**

Alex Fernández walked out of the 90th Precinct police station in Williamsburg. He could not wait to go to the Bodega and just plop into bed.

One week ago, he had moved into his new flat in Prospect Heights, but due to his busy schedule, he found it easier to stay at the Bodega. His essentials were already there since he had been living at the Bodega after moving out of the two-and-a-half bedroom apartment in Park Slope he shared two fellow police officers for the past two and a half years. Plus, his new apartment was a scene from _Hoarders_ at the moment.

He flipped his phone on and dialed "2" on his speed dial.

"Hey, _Anh_!" said Tina Nguyen, Alex's girlfriend for the past year. They had casually and seriously dated on and off from middle school, until two years ago where they more-or-less non-verbally decided they were done exploring other people and committed.

Alex did not really have anything to say. He just wanted to hear her voice. He inhaled, smelling the fine Williamsburg air. He looked around and noticed that the place was changing fast. It was already changing, but he was noticing more white affluent people living in the area. He noticed in the past few years of working in the Williamsburg precinct that there were a lot less languages being spoken all at once. It was only this past May where the New York City Council passed large-scale rezoning policies that made parts of the North Side and Greenpoint unaffordable to those who had once lived there.

Ignoring the loud hammering noises going on in the background due to the development of these areas, Alex continued the phone call. "Hey, _Em,"_ said Alex, his voice expressing more exasperation from the noise than he intended Tina to hear.

"What's going on?" asked Tina, sounding a little distracted from what Alex could tell.

"I'm just getting off of work," Alex answered

"I can tell. You sound exhausted."

 _Do I?_ Alex wondered. "So, what are you up to?

"I'm at home, editing the pieces of the _Sassy Street Walk_ that I shot for today. Just spoke to my mom and she asked how your new place was working out."

"Ha, what did you say?" Alex said - comforted by the idea that Tina's mom was asking about him.

"I just said, 'he probably doesn't know, he's been so busy with work that he's been sleeping at the Bodega.'"

Alex laughed. "What was your mom's reaction?"

"Honestly, I think she was happy. She said you needed to go home to a nice home-cooked meal."

"Moms," they both said. This would have been funny, but it had become common for Alex and Tina to say the same thing at the same time that it was old news now.

"Anyway, how was it today?"

"It was...empowering," Tina said. "We were outside the gendered bathroom stalls at Chelsea Piers, and I was interviewing Andromeda about the police harassment she faced and how other transgender individuals are regularly harassed and arrested for using the 'wrong' bathroom when some cops overheard us and started giving us a hard time. Andromeda got verbally attacked by a cop in private and I was told to stop shooting. In the end, nothing really happened. I just continued shooting elsewhere."

"Who were the cops?" Alex said worried. He felt a surge of protectiveness wave over him. This was something Tina had told him to check as he needed to stop thinking of her as someone who needed his protection. But old habits die hard. Alex had been, what he thought, playing the protective figure since he became an older brother and it seeped into his relationship with Tina, even when they were only friends in middle and elementary school respectively.

To say this was a male paternal instinct would be simplifying it. Alex was the same way to Hector. Alex's protectiveness was more innate and more self-centered in his thinking. He felt he had the goods to play that role and it would be unnatural for him to not act on it. He worked to keep it in check, but it was Alex's innate nature to be protective.

Tina, for her part, loved that about Alex and enjoyed feeling safe in his presence. She just wanted to make sure he saw her as an equal as well.

"They were nobody," said Tina reassuringly. Alex was skeptical. He knew that it was Tina's nature for her to not want him to worry and be "burdened" with something she minimized as "not important". Alex told her to check that as he had told her to stop minimizing her experiences and to share it with him. Alex recognized the irony as he was the one who initially shut down and minimized his own experiences when he first joined the force in order to protect his loved-ones.

"Tina, maybe I can call someone at their precinct," Alex said. He knew the 10th Precinct patrolled that area.

"No Alex don't," said Tina. "Remember the last time you behind my back? Nothing happened. Also, I told you the truth before. It worked out. Plus one of the officers recognized me from that policeman's event we went to in Chelsea. He made sure we continued the shoot."

"Who was it?" Alex asked in a tone that betrayed a tinge of jealousy.

"Officer Crane, you remember him right? Kind of cute?" Tina teased.

"Hey!" Alex exclaimed. After hearing Tina laugh at his reaction, Alex worked to regain his composure. "Ok good," Alex said finally. Although matured, Alex still got a little jealous when other men helped Tina with anything. Not because he feared Tina would like someone better, but he was a bit territorial about his place as the person who took care of business for his loved ones. He understood that was a problem that he needed to work on. However, a man had his pride.

"Hey Alex, listen, I'm sorry if I sounded too harsh on the police again. I know you guys do very important and needed work. It's just...you know how it is for people who aren't really doing anything wrong but are easy targets." Tina said.

"Yeah, I know. You know how I feel about having to do these sorts of cases. I agree with you for the most part. Just don't forget, cops are people too, and they don't always think about how they are enforcing policies that only serve to target the poor. They're just doing their job and many of them aren't that far off from poverty themselves."

"You're right," Tina replied. She hoped Alex understood she was not criticizing him or his work. She was very proud of him despite all the reactions from her current subjects when she would tell them she was dating a cop.

After giving them a brief description of how they met, how long they've been dating, and what he was like, they seemed to approve of him. Tina suspected that after months of interviews and gaining the trust of the circle of trans individuals from the film, they asked all these questions because they felt a little protective of her. She thought that was ironic considering she felt she needed to protect them while they were participating in her documentary. The funniest part was that, some times, she could skip all of that by simply showing them a picture of Alex, which would usually result in near-instant approval.

"How was the paper work?" asked Tina. Alex liked that Tina knew what he was working on...within the confines of confidentiality.

"Exhausting, but I'm finally done. I was calling to see if you wanted to grab dinner and a drink."

"Dinner at 10 p.m.?"

"Sure, why not?" asked Alex. He could not help but give his signature devilish smirk. This was Alex's best method of persuasion with Tina as it enjoyed a high success rate. Even though she could not see him at the moment, he knew it would somehow come across audibly, as if by osmosis.

"Ok. The usual place?" said Tina with more enthusiasm than she anticipated. The truth is that she was feeling antsy after editing video footage for five hours and would have liked nothing more than seeing Alex and having a vodka soda.

"Of course."

* * *

Sitting at the bar of their usual late-night haunt in Fort Greene, Alex was picking at the remnants of his Irish fries. Tina laughed to herself. Some things never change. It doesn't matter what it was, if there was something resembling food in front of Alex, he'll just keep eating.

"You know what I was thinking about today while doing my paper work and wading through all those boxes?" Alex asked while munching on the fry bits.

"What?" Tina asked while sipping on her second Stoli soda with lime before turning back towards Alex and casually with laying her hand on his thigh.

"How Ghostwriter would have been useful right about now." Alex laughed.

"Oh my God, I know! He would have been really helpful in getting me the badge numbers of those officers that tried to stop me today."

They sat in momentary silence. They, like the rest of the team, often brought up Ghostwriter casually. And just as quickly, they would move on to another subject. When he first left, the team obsessed over his whereabouts. Even in college, they would have long, drawn-out discussions over where would have gone or where he came from. Now, they just talk about him as if he was an old childhood friend who they had lost contact with. They could not take the meta-physical philosophical discussions anymore. At least, not Alex and Tina.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" said Alex chewing on a fry bit with ranch dressing.

Tina wanted to tell him that Gaby had a pregnancy scare today. She thought this was something Alex should know, but she knew Gaby had to be the one to tell him. She was starting to fear that they were not as close as they used to be. She always envied how close Alex and Gaby were growing up in comparison to her own relationship with her older brother, Tuan.

"When was the last time you spoke to Gaby?" asked Tina apprehensively.

"I don't know, two days ago over the phone. Why?" answered Alex. He started to play with his plastic fork.

"Was it a real conversation?" asked Tina more intently.

"I mean, we were just shooting the shit, you know. We just talked about the usual. Why?" Alex snapped out of his relaxed demeanor and became more attentive. He suspected something was up.

Noticing Alex's new attentiveness, Tina tried to bring things down a few notches. "Oh, it's just that..I think we always make sure we spend enough time together, and maybe you two forget to make time to spend together," answered Tina. She slightly looked away once Alex gave her eye contact. She realized how that must have looked, so she then purposefully looked at Alex.

"Why are you so worried? Did something happen to Gaby?" Alex's expression transitioned from mere curiosity to something closer worry.

"No, it's just..." Tina said wondering, _How do I put this?_

Tina continued, "I see you guys growing a little more distant, and since I spend a lot of time with both of you, I want to make sure you guys are still close. I don't want you and Gaby to stop being so close to one another," Tina answered hoping she did not betray anything that had happened earlier that day.

"Why are you so worried about that? Gaby and I are fine. We don't have to talk to each other to know what's going on," said Alex, meaning every word that he said.

"That's only because I update the both of you, or your parents do," said Tina, rubbing Alex's arm.

"It's not a big deal, Tina," said Alex. He rubbed Tina's arm back, then his hands moved towards her back, then lower back.

"Just do it, ok? Make plans to see Gaby," said Tina . She gave Alex a look to express that she was not relenting any time soon and to punctuate that point, Tina grabbed Alex's hand from her back and clasped tightly to it.

"Alright. Alright, I will," said an amused Alex. "Geez, you're tough." Alex gazed at her and gave her his signature smirk.

"Well, you're holding back. I'm sure if you really wanted to interrogate me, you'd get a lot more," said Tina flirtatiously not breaking her eye contact with Alex.

Alex raised his hand that was intertwined with Tina's hand and kissed it. Then he proceeded to kiss her lips. Repeatedly.

"Eeew, you taste like bacon and ranch dressing," said Tina, lightly pushing him away but betraying a satisfied smile.

"That's the best flavor combination ever! Why are you complaining?" joked Alex.

As they exited the bar, Alex and Tina embraced and kissed. The nights were getting cooler and both welcomed the embrace.

Unfortunately, they were going in opposite directions.

"Come on, _Em_ , come home with me," said Alex as he swung Tina around and pulled her back into his embrace.

" _Anh_ , you know I would like nothing more, but I really have to get up early tomorrow and film more interviews. Plus, I have to meet with the grant committee about progress on the Latino/Latina Action Committee film. And, all my stuff is back at home," said Tina, slightly enjoying the pain of desire she was causing in Alex.

"Oh man, what's the point of having a place to myself if you can't just come over anytime we want?" Alex said with exaggerated flourish.

"One, you're going to the bodega tonight. And two, you just have to be patient. We already made plans this weekend. Remember, I'll stay over all weekend, and then in two weeks, you'll be on vacation and I'll stay over all vacation, I promise."

"Ok, but we need to have dinner before this weekend."

"I thought that was already a given." Tina smirked and kissed Alex on the cheek. She knew Alex couldn't resist her smirk.

Before Alex could say anything, Tina started going down her direction; turning around and giving him one more exaggerated wave. Alex stood still for a moment enjoying his view before he too turned around and went towards the Bodega.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY**

Alex was at his desk reading about the details of the bloodied Brooklyn woman running in Manhattan case when he noticed Deputy Inspector McQuade standing in front of him. Deputy Inspector McQuade looked no different from when Alex first met him more than a decade ago. Maybe McQuade put on a few more pounds and his hair was grayer, but nothing else seemed different.

"Good work on the counterfeit case, Alex. It's nice to see you back at this office with some regularity," said McQuade with a strong sense of comforting familiarity.

"Thanks Deputy Inspector," replied Alex. Even after handling a few cases, Alex was new to detective work and still had the eagerness of any novice to receive positive comments on his work.

"Listen, I know didn't really want to take on that case, but you know I owed them a few favors and they really liked your work."

"It's no problem. I'm happy to help." Alex responded.

McQuade shot Alex a look that betrayed some amusement.

"I remember when you were just starting out and you thought certain cases were beneath you. Those were your words, right, beneath you?" McQuade said with a look towards Alex indicating they were about to have a serious talk.

"Well, yeah. I mean I was cracking down on public urination and prostitution." Alex responded.

"And counterfeiting," said McQuade with a smile.

"And counterfeiting," Alex conceded.

"Even so...you did your job and did it well."

"Yeah, well I wanted to do my job right. I figured there was a reason why those acts were illegal."

"After I had to explain it to you a few times, right?

"Right." Alex admitted.

With some years of experience under his belt now, Alex knew better than to make it known if he felt a certain case was "beneath" him.

* * *

_Some time ago_

_"Alex, how many times did you kids call me up while I was in the middle of a case to bother me about your little mysteries? The Lana Barnes stalker case? The stolen $50,000 spaceship mock-up from that TV show...uh..."_

" _Galaxy Girl."_

" _Yeah, Galaxy Girl. That didn't seem like a big deal compared to the theft and arson I could have been working on, but it was important to you, no?"_

" _Well, yeah, but that's because my sister, Gaby, was accused of stealing a $50,000 space ship. That's different."_

" _For you, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that important. Let's not forget that guy who was selling stolen merchandise out of his garage, or the case of the stolen painting, or the..."_

" _Ok, I get it. I just want to sink my teeth something that will really affect people, something that I know will change communities for the better. What's the big deal if these people sell counterfeit items? People know that these items are imitation, but what if they can't afford the real thing? Shouldn't they be allowed to feel special? Plus, it helps small businesses earn extra money."_

" _Even if it's illegal and it's stealing from those designers, Alex? Or are you saying that rich people or corporations aren't allowed to have justice? What about all the low-level workers who may get laid off and lose their jobs due to lost profits?"_

_Alex did not have a quick enough response. McQuade had a point. He was just frustrated with getting all of these minor cases. He thought he'd be getting something big for all the work he had been doing._

" _Look, Alex. Crimes affect people. Big or small, there's no such thing as a victimless crime._

" _Let me give you an example. For a time, New York City was seen as a place where people were given free reign to do all sorts of low-level crime. These include public urination, open prostitution, shoplifting, drug possession, whatever. People thought those activities were ok because they were seen as victimless crimes. However, say you're trying to raise a family in a neighborhood and trying to teach your children the quality of life and respect for your community. How can you teach that when you see vandalism everywhere and nothing to thwart it? What about seeing public urination. Who ends up suffering? It's only pee, right? Wrong. People live in those communities and they will be the ones who have to clean up after somebody else's mess. Is it fair for them? No. Plus, it drives good people out of the city, which ultimately harms everyone._

" _You learn through time that without anybody reprimanding you for that behavior, that it's ok. Alex, it's about quality of life. You may want every case to be glamorous; you know drug busts, catching big-named CEOs partaking in embezzlement or some other corporate malfeasance, homicide, whatever. However, remember this, with every big case you get, you have to take dozens or more of these little cases because in the end, they matter._

" _So, you see, crime no matter how big or small matter. It's important. Don't forget it." McQuade concluded as he stole a glance at Alex's gold shield and his tag that said "Det. A. Fernández." McQuade offered Alex a small, warm smile._

_Alex smiled back in return. "Yes, Lieutenant I mean...Inspector McQuade."_

" _Good. Now get to work." McQuade said shifting his tone from nurturing mentor to hard-assed supervisor._

* * *

"Listen, Alex," said McQuade. I don't always agree with the work we're doing, but the best we can do is to make sure we enforce things fairly. Maybe one day policies will change and some laws that are unfair now will be repealed. I've seen some progress, and we need good people like you on our side, otherwise, things will always be bad."

With that McQuade left Alex's desk. Alex pondered for a bit before continuing with his report. He did not quite agree with McQuade's broken windows 101 lecture he got a year ago, but he wasn't quite ready to join Tina, Gaby, and Hector's perspective that the whole damn system was a racist, sexist, classist, heteronormative exercise in capitalism.

After turning everything in, he was told to patrol, in plain-clothing, a small business section within the precinct's territory. Giving him this break was the Department's way of rewarding Alex for a job well-done.

 _Well, so much for a break!_ Alex thought a few hours later. Alex and his partner, Yvette, ended up chasing two twenty-something-year-olds. Once Alex and Yvette were able to keep them on the ground, they handcuffed the two men and searched them thoroughly. He radioed for back-up and stood there keeping a careful eye on the duo, while two more officers joined them.

When his phone rang, and Yvette said she had it covered and to go ahead and take it. This was not anything she and the other two officers could not handle.

"Hey, Tina," said Alex.

"Hey, Alex, what's up? Break down any doors today?" asked Tina.

"No, Babe. Just your typical day of reports and patrol and what-not. How are you?" asked Alex a little too casually as he had just arrested some people.

"Since when have you started calling me 'Babe?'" asked Tina.

"You don't like it? I thought it'd be a good pet name for you," said Alex playfully, knowing that would irk her a bit.

"No, I don't like it. It's objectifying and has a misogynistic undertone," Tina joked as she quoted _Clueless_.

"It's only misogynistic if I don't allow you to do the same with me, so therefore it's equal opportunity objectifying...Stay down!" Alex yelled preempting any movement from the two arrestees. Yvette looked at Alex giving a look to him as if wondering why he had said that considering the men were already secure.

"Good point – hey, what are you doing exactly?" asked Tina.

"What do you mean? I'm talking to you," said Alex mischievously. He couldn't help himself some times.

"Very funny – I mean what are you doing at this exact moment other than talking to me," asked Tina, worry creeping into her voice.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just in the middle of arresting two people for acting suspicious and having narcotics and a bunch of cell phones and other electronics in their bags. So, right now, I'm talking to you, keeping an eye of them, and waiting for my backup to transport them to the precinct," said Alex more seriously.

"Alex, you answered your phone in the middle of an arrest? I don't think this is standard operating procedure." Tina seriously worried if he could get in trouble for this.

"Probably not, are you going to tell on me?" Alex asked flirtatiously.

Tina chose to ignore Alex's attempts at flirting. "Did you read them their Miranda rights?" Tina asked seriously.

"Of course I did, I'm not new." Alex made a mental note to read them their Miranda rights right after this phone call in case Yvette or the other officers did not do it already. Technically, he didn't have to do it until the point of interrogation.

"Well, sorry! I was just watching your back," joked Tina, sounding more relaxed.

"How are the interviews going?" asked Alex, half-curious and half wanting to move on to another subject.

"We're starting soon. We're making sure the lighting is right and that the audio can capture her. She wants to do it near Times Square...can you imagine? I mean...with all the tourists and those off-brand mascots with who knows who under those costumes. But who am I to deny a request with my limited budget and time and all..."

Alex laughed. Then he remembered that she called him. "Hey, why did you call?"

"I wanted to see if you talked to Gaby today," asked Tina eagerly.

"Actually, I did. We're meeting for dinner next week. She invited me to watch a DVD at her place. She wants my thoughts on the movie, _Mystic River_. You know you were right, she sounded really happy that I called to say I wanted to hang out. Actually, I didn't realize how much I wanted to hang out with her either," Alex said earnestly.

"Oh Alex, I'm so happy!" Tina said at a higher register than she had intended.

"So, are you coming over tonight?" asked Alex, thinking that he deserved a reward.

"To the apartment or the Bodega?"

"Well, you know I'm not quite settled at the new place yet, so I'll probably be sleeping at the Bodega tonight," said Alex. He was hoping she'd stay over but knew the Bodega wasn't the best-selling point.

"I'll have dinner with you tonight, but I probably won't be able to stay over."

"Would you change your mind if I slept at the apartment tonight?"

"Amidst the mountains of cardboard boxes and no shower curtain? I don't think so."

"Oh come on Tina, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about my parents..."

"Alex, it's not that," said Tina half-lying. "I have a lot of work to do. I still have to edit the other ten interviews. I've been putting it off. I need to get to work and you know that all of my equipment is at my place."

Alex fell silent on the phone. He was contemplating how to persuade her to stay over.

"Listen, Alex. Let me do an all-nighter tonight after dinner, and I promise this weekend, you'll have my undivided attention."

"Ok, oh, my back-up is here, I have to go... _honey_ ," said Alex adding a mocking tone to honey.

"Bye, Alex," laughed Tina as rolled her eyes when she hung up the phone. He could be such a baby sometimes. After all their time together, they never found a pet name suitable for one another. They tried going through periods where they'd call each other various terms of endearment such as _lamb chop_ , _honey_ , _darling_ , _pet_ , _sweetie_ , _love_ , etc. None of them stuck because no matter what term they'd temporarily settle on, it never failed to feel contrived. Tina would stick to calling Alex by his name or _Anh_ while he called her _Em_ in return.

Later that night, Tina entered the Bodega feeling happy to be within its walls two days in a row. Alex notified her that he would be there in about thirty minutes. Tina noticed Roberto at the register and warmly greeted him.

Tina liked Roberto because he checked in on Estella and Eduardo. After Gaby moved out three years ago (her junior year of college) to sublet a room in a tiny tenement, Tina started checking in on Estella and Eduardo since she still lived at home in Fort Greene.

Of course, a consequence of Tina checking in on them was that they would use Tina to give information on Alex and Gaby, information they felt they could not get straight from the source. They never failed to ask Tina about Gaby and how she was getting along in the dwelling she shared with Mayteana and Melissa, two fellow NYUers she had met, both of whom were Latina and interested in teaching like Gaby. They would then follow-up with asking Tina if she was eating enough. With the Estella and Eduardo Fernandez, it seemed like Tina had four parents.

"Tina!"

Tina turned around and was instantly embraced by Estella.

"Oh..hi, Mrs. Fernández," Tina said while still in Estella's embrace.

"Tina, you know to call me Estella," Estella said giving Tina look as if to say she just did something naughty.

"Oh did I call you that? I didn't even notice," said Tina embarrassingly, "I've been calling you 'Mrs. Fernández' forever. It's a force of habit."

Estella smiled broadly at Tina. Tina had always admired Estella. She didn't wear too much make-up or fussed up her hair. She is seen in t-shirts and shorts or work pants most of the time, and doesn't seem to make an obvious effort into the way she looks. However, Estella has a winning demeanor and confidence that made you notice her. She was also naturally pretty and had such an air of dignity and strength. Tina wanted to adopt and exude some of Estella's qualities, even though Tina liked nice clothes and accessories way too much to truly take after Estella in that respect.

"How's your Mama, Tina?"

"She's really good. My Mom and Dad have been busy with the shop, which is good. They're thinking about moving to a bigger place next year. They want to wait until they have enough saved up and Linda is settled at F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology)."

Estella gave Tina an ambiguous glance and asked "Ah, so where do you think they will move to?"

"Well, they're thinking about renting a brownstone. My mom finally bought some new furniture and our old place isn't really big enough for everything anymore. It's funny. We thought the place would be bigger after Tuan married Thuy and moved out."

"Are they still going to live in Brooklyn?" asked Estella, even more intently. Tina thought she was becoming a bit too intense.

"Yeah, they want to stay in Fort Greene. They made some great friends here and Tuan and Thuy are nearby, plus their shop is here," Tina said nervously. She had no idea why Estella's line of questioning was making her nervous but she just now realized why Alex was so good at interrogations.

Estella thought for a moment then asked, "How long have you guys been living there?"

Tina had to think for a moment. When she was born in 1982, her parents were still saving up money for a security deposit for the place Tina would later know as home. Her mom, dad, and Tuan were staying at Tina's uncle Liem's place in Queens. They were figuratively and literally fresh off the boat and had only been granted political asylum and entrance into the U.S. three years prior. They were not able to get their own place in Fort Greene until 1984. Tina often thought how difficult it must've been for two people in their twenties, barely speaking the language, lugging around a misbehaving 4 year-old with another one on the way trying to make a new life for themselves. Tina was 23 now and the idea of having to support a family at this age scared her. And yet, the idea also seemed like an exciting challenge. Tina had no idea where that thought came from just now.

"About twenty-one years now."

"That's about the same time Eduardo and I got this Bodega." Estella looked around the Bodega and couldn't help but feel a small swelling of pride. Tina noticed it, and felt happy for Estella and Eduardo and even proud that they were able to accomplish so much with what little they initially had.

"Yes, when we first started, Estella and I couldn't walk around without tripping over Alejandro because he wanted to help out so badly."

Eduardo's sudden presence startled Tina. As she turned to greet Eduardo, the tall Salvadoran man with the graying moustache and slightly curly, similarly graying hair stood tall and straight. He gave a warm smile to Tina that put her at ease.

Even though she knew him for a long time and knew that Eduardo liked her, she couldn't shake the image of him as a hot-tempered, intimidating man she knew as a kid. His slower way of speaking English gave Eduardo an unintentionally stern demeanor. His rapid-fire delivery of Spanish when he lost his temper added to the fearsome image she had of him. However, Tina would also think that this rough demeanor made it even sweeter when he would outwardly show his affection towards Gaby and Alex.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Fernández," said Tina in surprise.

"Tina..." responded Eduardo as he gave her the same look Estella gave her.

"Sorry...Eduardo."

"That's better," Eduardo said with a smile which put Tina at ease. His smile differed from Alex's wide, mischievous, self-satisfied smile, but the effects were similar.

"I couldn't help but overhear you and Estella talking," Eduardo said smiling at himself, to Estella, and then towards Tina.

"Eduardo, doesn't it sound like her parents are doing well?" asked Estella as she put her arm around her husband.

" _Si_ , it does. Tina, will you be moving with them?" asked Eduardo.

If Tina's initial discomfort had waned with the Fernandezes' warmth, it came back full throttle now.

"I guess I would have to," said Tina, unsure who to proceed.

"Well..."

Suddenly the Bodega's doors flew open.

"Hey everyone, I'm here!" yelled Alex, hi-fiving Roberto at the register before making his way towards his parents and Tina.

"Man, what a day." Alex then paused as he saw his parents talking to Tina. The picturesque scene almost made Alex giddy.

"Drinking in the scene?" Roberto asked teasingly.

Alex simply laughed it off with Roberto and continued his way towards his family going straight to Tina. He instantly kissed her on the cheek. Tina kissed back although she couldn't help but turn a little red. She had kissed Alex in front of his parents before, and although it had gotten easier, she wasn't quite fully comfortable with doing so yet. PDA in general made Tina uncomfortable when she knew people were watching them specifically. Alex on the other hand had no qualms with making a spectacle out of himself.

All of a sudden, the raucous of jamming music blasted from the apartment above. The fusion of the keyboard, saxophone, guitar and other instruments created a nice blend of infectious harmonious energy. The percussion of the drum gave the Bodega a nice, light bass rhythm.

Eduardo couldn't help but laugh. "You know, I used to be very angry when Max and his band would play and interrupt our business. Aye, the music always gave me a headache." Eduardo made a gesture to his forehead.

"Yes, we all remember that, Eduardo," said Estella smiling sweetly.

"Yeah yeah. But now...if I don't hear Max playing, I feel almost...how-do-you-say...empty. Like the Bodega is missing something. And Max and I figured out how to muffle the sound a bit, so it's not so...uh..."

"Disruptive?" offered Tina.

"Sí, correcto."

"I know what you mean, " added Tina. "Hearing it makes me sentimental." Tina smiled thinking about all of her time at Lenni's.

"And now you have salsa, tejano, and bachata music playing in the store all day," Alex teased.

"Now, that's music!" Eduardo said shaking his hips playfully causing the rest of them to laugh.

"So, what did you guys cook for us?" asked Alex. "I am starving!"

"Aye, we're too tired to cook. Let's just order delivery. How does Chinese sound?" asked Estella.

"Perfect!" all three answered.

"Perfecto!" shouted Roberto from the register. "Order me a shrimp and lobster sauce!"

Estella gave Roberto a thumbs up.

After Roberto took his food to-go, and the Fernandezes closed up shop, they started dinner. Tina and Alex were used to late dinners with their schedule as were the Fernandezes thanks to their store hours. The two couples enjoyed a hearty dinner full of laughs and meaningful, nostalgic stories that contained hopes for the future.

Tina had such a great time with Alex and his parents that she decided to spend the night at the Bodega.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So the story will have chapters that will either narrowly focus on individual characters, character combinations, or the team generally. There will be no particular order. I have given thought to how this story will flow and I will make sure each character will have equal time. I thought I would start with an Alex/Tina-focused chapter to ease you guys in. I also will make sure Alex and Tina will have their separate chapters because I don't want them to be only defined by their relationship to one another. The next chapter will focus on Lenni.
> 
> Thanks!


	4. Chapter 3: Rain and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past year-and-a-half has been an emotional roller coaster for Lenni Frazier. Now in therapy, she starts to confront her conflicted feelings while figuring herself out as a musician. Can she reconnect with those who love her the most? How has cutting off the ties around her affected her ability to live again?

_Rain and Tears_ _  
_ _Rain and tears are the same_ _  
_ _But in the sun you've got to play the game_ _  
_ _When you cry in winter time_ _  
_ _You can pretend_ _  
_ _It's nothing but the rain_

_How many times I've seen_ _  
_ _Tears running from your blue eyes_

_Rain and tears are the same_ _  
_ _But in the sun you've got to play the game_

_Give me an answer God_ _  
_ _Sign me an answer God_

_Rain and tears both are shown_ _  
_ _But in my heart there'll never be a sun_ _  
_ _Rain and tears are the same_ _  
_ _But in the sun you've got to play the game_

\- Aphrodite's Child/Demis Roussos

**FALL 2005**

**Late Morning**

Lenni Frazier sat on the beige plush mid-century modern century couch looking off to the side to see a similarly looking armchair. She noticed the legs of the armchair were walnut brown. She admired the choice of furniture. She also appreciated how it coordinated with the sand and wooden-muted colors of the table and bookshelves adorning this office. _This is what a therapist's office should look like_ , Lenni thought.

Her first experience with therapy was in a cold, clinical closet that called itself an office near the hospital wing of the intensive care unit about a year-and-a-half ago. She remembered feeling the cold air blowing through the overhead vents blasting cold air powered by industrial-sized air conditioning units. She remembered the well-meaning hospital counselor telling her that support can be provided if she sought it out. That was all she could truly remember from that experience as she still had the image of a dying, but still warm body in a hospital bed hanging on to dear life through the help of ventilators and the constant beeping sound from the heart defibrillator. Images of all the metallic tools shining from the fluorescent lights above distracted her too much for her to give the hospital counselor much attention.

When Lenni sought out therapy some months ago, she feared the therapist most recommended to her would have an office that would remind her of that scene. Or a cold, white, minimalist space making Lenni think of a white box or The Beatles album, _The White Album._ However, here, Lenni could take comfort in all of the miscellaneous home items laid about in neat, organized - but not too organized - ways that mimicked someone's home office or even living room _sans_ a television set. Lenni discovered she appreciated simulated hominess. _Was hominess a word?_ Lenni pondered at the time she made that discovery.

Seeing all the knick-knacks and various objects decorated around the office chosen collectively to give off that homey feeling made Lenni wonder who exactly did all the dusting in this office.

"Lenni?"

The soft voice interrupted the interior designer spiel that was running through her head. Lenni turned her attention back to the woman sitting across from her. Lenni took her time to give Dr. Hart another look. She simply admired the way Dr. Hart packaged herself. She was always in some ensemble that gave off a serenely warm, non-threatening, and kindly aura with her thick, shoulder-length chestnut hair and huge eyes. If one could describe voice as a color, Lenni would have described Dr. Hart's voice as the color brown. It was thick and and almost husky while still sounding feminine. It was a classic therapist voice, Lenni thought. She wondered if that was Dr. Hart's natural voice or one she trained to make sound like that. She then wondered if Dr. Hart became a therapist because she knew nature gave her all of the ingredients to be a natural at it.

"Sorry Dr. Hart, what were you saying?" Lenni asked, knowing full well what they just had been talking about.

"I was just asking what did you do this past week."

"Oh, the usual. Worked on my demos to present to the head of my studio."

"Jade, right?"

"That's right, Jade Morgan," Lenni said. "I also met up with some friends."

"Like Rob?" asked Dr. Hart.

"Not just Rob. I went shopping with Tina and Gaby as well. That was crazy."

"How so?"

"Well, we were trying out outfits and Gaby told us she thought she may be pregnant." Lenni said. Lenni shuffled in her seat, uncomfortable with bringing that up. " _Dr. Hart was smart to get a cotton-fabric couch_ ", Lenni thought, _had she chosen leather or something, her clients probably slide out._

 _"_ So, anyway..." Lenni said.

"How did that make you feel?" Dr. Hart continued.

 _She's a real pro,_ Lenni thought.

"Well, Gaby wasn't pregnant. At first, I was relieved, but then later on that night, I wondered if she exaggerated for effect. She does that some times. But then...I don't think she'd do that about this." Lenni said.

Lenni hoped going on about Gaby would motivate Dr. Hart to force Lenni to shift the focus back to her. However, Dr. Hart sat quietly and attentively.

"Right..." Lenni said as she shifed her gaze to Dr. Hart's framed PsyD diploma from Columbia University, and then to her espresso machine.

"Would you like an espresso?" Dr. Hart asked offering a soft smile.

"No, thanks. I'm actually meeting Tina later for coffee. I have a business proposition for her." Lenni hoped that would be the ticket to talk about something else.

"Lenni, you brought up Gaby having a pregnancy scare, what did that mean for you?"

Lenni sighed. She was not sure what she was feeling about that. Annoyance at Gaby? Jealous that Gaby had something happening in her life? Why would she be jealous about that? Something that was dramatic and traumatic enough for one lifetime had happened to Lenni - well, two things actually.

Lenni tried to organize the messy jumble of thoughts going inside her head before she continued hoping to express herself correctly. "I'm feeling this mix of emotions, I guess. Annoyed at my friend, and then angry...and then ashamed that I was judgmental with someone I have known for about 15 years. Relieved for her obviously. Sort of inspired to make a song about it."

Dr. Hart waited a few beats before asking, "Do you feel yourself getting more inspired to make music again?"

"Yeah…I really think I am. I haven't seriously felt creative for such a long time. I think the feeling is coming back." Lenni said - exaggerating how inspired she was. Sure, she did make some demos but it wasn't the same sensation of being truly inspired that Lenni felt in the past.

"That's good. We spoke last week and the week before about your demos and how they're coming along, but that you had trouble finding inspiration or staying focused or keeping certain emotions or thoughts in check. Which, was actually an improvement from the past year according to you. You told me that before, you could not focus on it, nor did you want to. Is your focus or at least desire to be focused getting better?"

"I think it is. It's not the same as before when I was inspired where I felt all these ideas exploding in my head and the need to jot them all down before I lost them. But I do feel that muse energy coming back. But I don't think that is helping my focus. I think that's actually hurting it." Lenni said. "What I mean is, I'm so into having this feeling of wanting to create slowly creep back that I'm savoring it but not actually making anything fruitful or at least what I think is fruitful."

"But you did say you were working on demos, right? And you do feel that inspiration coming back?" Dr. Hart asked.

"Yeah, I am. I have a notebook full of new song ideas and lyrics. I've been working on the synthesizer for melodies and beats...but I don't know, they feel more like a pregame before the actual creating."

"That sounds like it is part of the creative process, is it?"

"It's not unusual, I guess. Before, I'd have really bad writer's block where I can't write a thing. Only random words would come into my head. So, what I would do is take whatever word popped into my head, write them down on the same sheet of paper, and then cut the words up. Then I would take the pieces of paper containing a single word and rearrange them to open whatever it is in my head. David Bowie did that."

"So, this sounds very similar to that, just a way of straightening out and organizing idea kernels," Dr. Hart said.

 _She's right!_ Lenni thought realizing she was actually making music. Maybe this is just a calmer energy she's working with, but it's still the energy to create.

Dr. Hart smiled. "Lenni, you said you were shopping with Gaby and Tina. Any particular reason?"

 _Back to this_ , Lenni thought. Lenni answered, "Well...the reason Gaby, Tina, and I went shopping was for a date that I had." Lenni then braced herself for what she was about to say next knowing it would be a big deal to Dr. Hart. "I ended up canceling on him later that night."

"What are your thoughts about that?"

"I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was Gaby's pregnancy scare that made me do it," said Lenni.

"What makes you think Gaby's pregnancy scare made you cancel on your date?"

"I think I was afraid. Gaby getting pregnant with a guy she was casually seeing...it felt too real to me."

Dr. Hart leaned closer ready for Lenni to continue.

"I don't think I wanted anything real. I mean this was my first date since Kyle died." Lenni paused. Saying his name out loud sent an electric sensation up and down her spine. She avoided saying his name out loud, even to the Ghostwriter team.

Then, Lenni felt a tear fall down her cheek. Then more tears came out. She had no idea why she started crying at the mere vocalization of his name but she often did it. Lenni grabbed a tissue from the box on the cherry-wood coffee table in front of her.

Lenni continued, "I just wanted a casual date, to get to know someone. Something to make me feel alive again. But Gaby reminded me that...something big can happen to you when you make a connection with somebody. I was scared about what if this date turned out to be me biting more off than I could chew, something I couldn't handle. This sounds ridiculous, right?" asked Lenni giving a bitter laugh.

"It's ok to have these feelings Lenni. They're valid. You did take a first step in accepting a date."

"It's funny. I didn't even want to go on that date. I just felt like I should start dating again."

"Why did you think you had to go on this date?"

"Because everyone always looks at me like I'm made out of fragile glass. I also don't blame them. I mean they saw me go through the whole rollercoaster after Kyle died...up and down and up and down over and over. Except, it's more down than up. Lots of rain and tears, I guess. When I told Tina and Gaby someone asked me out, they got so excited and both dropped everything to take me shopping."

Dr. Hart calmly waited as Lenni gathered her thoughts.

"They're all so afraid of triggering me, and I just want them to talk to me like before." Lenni admitted. "I thought the best way to do that is to start acting more functional and then I could will myself to be more functional. I thought just showing my friends I was now going out on dates would get us back to that point. And then we could move on and we can get back to where we used to be, where I was the cool, collected reliable one. Where I could enjoy the same...'up' energy they did. I feel like I bring everything down when we're together even when we have laughs."

"How would you describe these thoughts?" Dr. Hart asked.

Taking a moment to think, Lenni continued. "I guess I was trying to...I guess I feel like everyone is outside in the sun, and I just have this storm cloud following me. It's like no matter who I'm with I am just crashing their sunny day with a rainstorm. Rain and tears in the sun."

Lenni thoughtfully added, "So I felt like if I wanted to be out in the sun and out of the storm, I had to play the game of pretending I was in the sun. I guess I was going through the motions of looking like I'm ok."

Dr. Hart bent closer towards Lenni. Facing her, Dr. Hart firmly told Lenni, "You are not in a race. There is no set time frame for grief. Nobody can tell you that there is a correct way to grieve. Even I cannot tell you that. The only thing you can do is cope with everything you're feeling and thinking so you can better work through them. This is not about denying those feelings."

"But you told me to do certain things like taking care of myself and to get moving and be active," Lenni said in frustration. "I thought that was what I was doing!"

"It is scary sometimes, Lenni. It is recommended that people try to get out of the trap of self-isolation which can exacerbate and prolong the grieving process. And you should take risks and try to do what you can to help you get through this process. This date may not have been the best idea for you at the moment because you felt obligated to go on it. When trying to get out of the habit of staying in grief, stay cognizant of the reasons why you are undertaking certain actions. You said you only accepted the date so your friends would stop treating you differently. What are your thoughts about that?"

Lenni contemplated that line. "I think I need to talk to my friends," Lenni declared.

Dr. Hart smiled in response.

* * *

**Later that Afternoon**

Entering Greene Grape Annex, Lenni saw Tina sitting at a long table. She could hear the muffled and not-so muffled conversations around her. It was not quite packed at this hour, but from experience, things would pick up in thirty minutes.

"Hey, were you waiting long?" asked Lenni as she hurriedly sat down laying her bag on the floor. She knew she looked disheveled with her hair all over her face.

"No, not at all. I got here about five minutes ago."

"Man, the line doesn't seem long at all. Let me grab a coffee real fast." Lenni rushed to the line before it got any longer. Lenni had been craving a coffee since half-way through her session with Dr. Hart.

Lenni smelled the aroma of coffee and hash brown nests with quail eggs, goat cheese, and bacon in the air while inadvertently listening to a conversation of the couple two stools down from her place in line. A man and a woman in their forties were reminiscing about their times as artists in Greenwich Village who just bought a brownstone in Williamsburg. Lenni could not help but notice their wedding rings. They were acting giddy and affectionate. Lenni had overheard them say that they were excited about getting a movie delivered from Netflix. Lenni imagined them picking up their DVD from the mailbox, popping in the disc, and snuggling together on the couch under a blanket.

Lenni grabbed her coffee and made her way towards Tina's table. She sipped on her latte as someone had caught her eye. "Hey, check that guy out." Lenni pointed a man with a walrus mustache wearing what would later be described as steam punk attire taking photographs across the street. "Do you know who he is?"

"He looks familiar," answered Tina narrowing her eyes hoping to get a clearer look.

"He's an upcoming photographer. He has an exhibit next week."

"Hey, cool."

"And, I slept with him once."

Tina choked on her coffee nearly spitting it out.

"Geez, Tina, don't be so surprised!" joked Lenni as the two women started giggling.

"Recently? Was that your date from the other day?"

"No, from way before. Even before I met..." Lenni paused. She had just spent an hour talking about _him_.

"Well, how was he?" Tina said quickly after a beat.

"He was ok," Lenni said matter-of-factly. Then she remembered, "Actually he was selfish."

"Well, look at him, are you surprised?"

Lenni laughed.

"Speaking of, how was your date?" Tina asked

"It was alright, I don't think I'll see him again." Lenni lied, not wanting to tell Tina she had canceled on her date. She knew Dr. Hart would probably not approve of Lenni lying, but Lenni did not want to have a conversation about canceling on her date with Tina. She had already sensed Tina was shifting her behavior around Lenni and observing her carefully.

Tina asked, "So, why did you text me?"

 _The old Tina would have delved further into the date_ , Lenni thought. _She's probably already making assumptions about why I won't see him again, and it's probably dead f_ _iancé_ _related._

"I wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to shoot my next music video." Lenni nearly forgot why she asked Tina for coffee in the first place.

"Oh wow! Are you done with your next album?" Tina asked excitedly.

"No, not yet. I have a few demo tracks to finish before I get them to Jade. They're just going to be previews of things I'm working on and she'll give me her opinions about it. But I was thinking about finishing one and releasing one of them as a single just to get my name back out there and gauge audience interest."

"Of course, I'll do the video, but don't you want to use someone with more music video experience, someone you've worked with before?"

"I just thought you'd be the best person to do this. I haven't really been in contact with anyone in the industry in a while. You've been here for me, and you get where I am. Plus, I love your work and I really trust you to do this. I don't think I'd be able to trust anyone else right now."

"Thanks, Lenni. Of course, I'll do this." Tina grabbed Lenni's hand and smiled. Lenni brightened up.

"I was thinking about uploading them on this website called YouTube. You know YouTube? We've talked about it before."

"Yeah, I think it'll be an amazing way for filmmakers to share their clips online. Maybe getting distribution deals. I hope it lasts."

"Me too, anyway, I won't be able to do it until next month at the earliest. Just getting my juices back, with making these demos, but one of them is close to being done. That's the one I'd like you to shoot. It's sort of mocking party songs but the serious lyrics don't match the sound." Lenni said excitedly.

Tina could not help but find Lenni's energy infectious. Tina was excited to see Lenni was getting back up on the horse.

"This is really good, Lenni. Of course, I'll be happy to help you any way I can."

"I know this is a lot to ask and I know you're busy, but I can pay you for your time and..."

"No, don't worry about it. You're my friend. It's on me." Tina smiled broadly.

"I should reimburse your time and resources, " Lenni said. She was annoyed that Tina would not let her pay like any other client, but decided she should drop it for now and deal with that later.

"No, it's fine. I know you'd help me when I need it. Plus, I think I already have an idea for it that won't cost too much."

"Wait, how do you have an idea before you know what the song is about or how it sounds?" Lenni asked curiously.

"Well, it's your first video in about two years. No matter what the song is about, I just want to showcase you in a simple way so you're front-and-center...maybe against a brick backdrop with you wearing very thrifty and casual but stylish clothing...maybe a big long sleeve plain colored sweater that has a giant cartoon mascot or something to make it pop. Then give you like denim shorts where you can see the insides of your pockets... I think that'd be an interesting contrast. Also, up close you'd have like face glitter and lipstick...don't worry it won't be too much because I'll film it in black-and-white so the effect won't be too garish but will have a surprising shine...you know nothing is more flattering for performers than black and white photography, right?...and maybe I can have one or two people dancing randomly in some shots...it is a _dancey_ song right?"

"Ok ok...I think you have this figured out. Thanks Tina." Lenni was grinning from ear-to-ear and actually loved the idea Tina pitched. Lenni was amazed that when it came to film, Tina turned into Gaby, who could spit 100 words a minute.

"Lenni, I'm really happy for you. I know this isn't easy, and I want nothing more than to support you. We all do."

Lenni looked into her cup. Her grin leaving her for a moment at Tina's words of sympathy. Lenni then put on another smile.

"What can I say? It's time for me to join the world again. Thank you for being so patient. All of you guys really have been so patient." Lenni grabbed Tina's hand and clutched it hoping to reassure Tina.

"Of course." Tina grabbed Lenni's hand with her other hand in kind.

"It's crazy about Gaby's scare, wasn't it?" asked Lenni feeling the need to change the focus from her even if it was at the expense of Gaby. "It just makes me think about us being adults and dealing with some serious things as we get older. What do you think of us being adults?" asked Lenni, hoping to get another conversation going that did not have her at the focus.

"Oh, I used to obsess about it and wonder if I was on the right track or hitting my milestones in time. But I learned to just focus on my short-term tasks one at a time and towards my goal. I figure if I just keep doing my work and take care of what I need to take care of, then things will work out. If I ever stop to think about 'the bigger picture', I think I would get overwhelmed and drive myself crazy," admitted Tina who sipped her coffee with such straight posture and an air of seriousness. Even after all these years, Lenni could still be taken aback by how no-nonsense Tina could be.

"But with your work, with you trying to get into the truth of your subjects, don't you ever reflect on that? You have to, right?" Lenni asked, hoping to get some sort of rise out of Tina for reasons she did not understand. Was she _angry_ at Tina?

"I do. But sometimes, I have to separate myself from it and not bring it home with me. I need that separation because otherwise, I will fall into a black hole," Tina said thoughtfully. "Honestly, it's when I watch other people's work where I can go overboard with analysis and symbolism and the mood and emotions the movie brings out. What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know. I can't help but feel I'm still only pretending...it's as if, there's a certain time when you have to act or think a certain way, you know?" Lenni feared she had intended. She was not even sure if her response actually followed the conversation she herself had started.

"Are we talking about being an adult or something else?" asked Tina bluntly. _Tina can be so blunt to the point of being rude some times_ , Lenni thought. She had been that way since they were kids, but one can't really get used to something like that. " _Wait, why am I mad at Tina?"_ Lenni the asked to herself. _First, I'm mad at Gaby, and now I'm mad at Tina._

Lenni answered, "No, I mean just being an adult...it's as if there is supposed to be some time in your twenties where you all of a sudden transform into your adult being, and that being is supposed to be almost a different person. Like you're supposed to go around, do your hair a certain way and start carrying briefcases or whatever. And that's fine, but...what happens when you still feel the same as you always were? What sort of transformation am I supposed to be feeling?"

Tina looked confused and then worried.

"Great!"Lenni thought.

Before Tina could respond, Lenni asked, "You know how people say that thirty is the new twenty? It's supposed to be a relief, letting us off the hook in a way, but if that's true, then why is that I feel like I'm doing something wrong?" Lenni couldn't yet articulate why she was feeling this pressure or where it was coming from.

Lenni paused for a second. Lenni grew uncomfortable with Tina's continued silence and with her gaze unmoving from her. Lenni looked down at the ground thinking momentarily. Feeling self-conscious, Lenni gave a short glance back at Tina, who did not break her gaze. Lenni wondered what Tina's reaction was all about. Lenni then chalked it up to Tina not understanding how to answer that or being confused by what Lenni had said and thus was giving her time to rephrase it.

Lenni thought of ways to turn this conversation around. Feeling frustrated, Lenni decided to just come clean.

"Tina," Lenni finally said, "sorry. I am being disingenuous. I am talking not just about being adult, but the feeling that I needed to start playing the part of a fully functional person, and it makes me sick because I think I am just pretending. That date I went on? I didn't go. I canceled the day Gaby had that pregnancy scare. Also, I didn't even want to go on that date, but I felt I had to just to show you and everyone I was ok and you can stop worrying so much about me and talk to me like you did before."

Lenni and Tina sat in momentary silence. Both were periodically picking up their cups to sip on their coffees though Lenni had observed that Tina's cup was actually empty and had been for a while.

Finally, Tina broke her silence. "Lenni, I'm glad you shared that with me. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was treating you differently or something. I didn't intend to do that, and I'll be more careful not to make you feel like you have to do something just to show me you're ok."

"That's the thing Tina," Lenni said. "I don't want you to _be careful_. Just be you. Talk to me without thinking. Just go for it!"

Lenni could tell Tina was getting flustered.

"Ok." Tina finally said.

Both looked down at their tables.

Before Lenni could say anything, Tina finally said, "About pretending in general and trying to act the part...I don't know if this is the right thing to say, but I just want to say that I think we're all pretending in some aspect. We have certain roles we give ourselves and we play it. I'm not a psychologist, obviously, but just because you're hurt doesn't mean you're just pretending when you're going out and being a part of the world. I think humans are just complicated beings and we're able to do one thing while feeling another way. Doesn't make you fake. Did that make any sense at all with what we're talking about?"

"Actually, it does. And I'm sorry for blowing up like that."

"It's ok Lenni, you didn't really blow up at me honestly."

"Are you sure?" Asked Lenni.

"Lenni, who is also my best friend? And who is her brother who I am also dating? Believe me, I know blow ups." Tina said with a laugh.

Lenni joinedTina as they laughed heartedly about that. Lenni then looked down at her cup, feeling apprehensive about meeting Tina's eyes. "Thanks, Tina," Lenni said smiling. She finally looked up at Tina. "I have to get going. Thank you for coming all this way here and thank you again for agreeing to do my video. Also, you have to make me pay you something. Send me a contract."

"Alright," said Tina.

Before Lenni could move from her chair, Tina asked, "You're are still coming over to Alex's next week, right?"

"And miss an opportunity to see Alex's new place? No way! We're dying to see how he's doing in that apartment on his own." Lenni was truly curious about his new apartment.

Tina gave a faint obligatory chuckle and said, "Good. I'll see you guys next week, then. Remember, eight o'clock. I'll send a reminder email."

Lenni mockingly groaned at the idea of having to check her email making her way towards exit as Tina laughed on.

Lenni observed the sky on her way back home. She noticed heavy clouds and figured it was going to rain tonight. Luckily for her, she was planning on spending another night relaxing in her room and working through her ideas for new songs. New York could be so annoying some times. The at times finicky weather made it difficult to dress accordingly.

Lenni walked down Cumberland St. towards Greene Avenue. Lenni always loved that she lived right near Cuyler Gore Park. She'd sit there some times and relax. She loved that it was just a small triangular park, nothing like Fort Greene Park much less Prospect Park. She wrote some of her best songs there.

Lenni waved at Estella Fernandez, who was sweeping the sidewalk. Lenni walked up her stoop and made her way up the stairs towards her apartment above the Fernandezes' Bodega. She had just moved back in with her Dad, Max, and Sally about a year ago.

Lenni plopped down on the coach to catch her breath after rushing home before the rain fell. Taking in the environment, she felt that this place was obviously one that a socially-conscious person and a musician shared. Plants, street signs, protest slogans, bumper stickers, buttons, and advocacy manuals were mixed in with paintings of various instruments, wall sculptures of music notes, and collections of sheet music. Instead of looking like two disparate people were sharing one space, somehow it all fused together into a one giant whole.

After a few moments of relaxation, Lenni walked towards the keyboard synthesizer next to an iMac that was permanently on either GarageBand 2 or iTunes. She sat on Sally's stool made from recyclable materials that was surprisingly comfortable. Lenni gave the apartment a glance from this angle. Despite Sally adding her twist to it, it was like nothing had changed since Max moved in more than a decade ago. Lenni felt this familiarity waved a blanket of comfort over her.

Lenni suddenly felt compelled to improvise on the synthesizer.

Lenni started to explore electronic music around the late 1990s - wanting to experiment with different types of sounds that would go with her voice. Lenni was still partial to rap and hip hop but felt that genre had moved away from the kind of music and messages she wanted to do by 2005. This inspired to dig deep into new melodies and beats to compliment her brand of mixing singing with rapid line deliveries and wordplay.

Being near the synthesizer, Lenni started to feel a familiar pressure. Her fourth album had to be different. She was different now. But she was not quite sure what that actually meant and how it would affect her music. It had been about two and a half years since she last released an album and with every day passing, the task of making new music became more and more daunting.

Lenni started out of the gate right after she graduated high school in 1998. In 1999, she released her first LP, _Lenni_. Jade Morgan, the head of Lenni's label Smash Records, gave Lenni a great amount of creative freedom for her first album. The result was a kaleidoscope of eclectic sounds fitting through a narrative whole. Sonia Ivey, publicity director at Smash, took credit for convincing Jade to go in that direction as she felt an 18-year-old's debut album should be daring and fresh, even if not may not play well to most people's sensibilities. She said Lenni would be a bold contrast to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, who were starting to dominate the music scene. _Lenni_ received some positive press thanks to Sonia's publicity machine putting Lenni on their radar to review her. However, some critics felt the production and ambition overshadowed Lenni's actual skill, experience, and personality.

The album's bold and at-times experimental sounds combined with the observational lyrical content from an urban perspective made Jade realize that Lenni's appeal would most likely stay in coastal areas and big cities. Jade had her finger on the pulse of mainstream music and knew most of America wanted to listen to pop music and safe rock bands who adopted that pop sound with a more juvenile sense of humor like Blink 182. Lenni simply did not fit that mold.

Jade, therefore, masterminded a plan to attract certain people who were the type to reject the mainstream. Jade had Lenni tour a few small venues around college campuses along the East Coast, a group she knew would be more receptive and possibly desperate for something new to listen to and talk about. Lenni ended up gaining a small but devoted following.

Lenni's next two albums were released in 2001 and 2003. These released furthered her name among the alternative music crowd as she took the direction from her first album and went even further into exploring elements of alternative, dance, electronic, hip hop, and world music as she saw more of the world and became inspired by what other artists were doing.

However, Lenni received criticism that although her albums offered much in the way of a young person's observations of the world with rallying cries for her listeners to take up non-violent arms against injustices, they lacked any insight into her as a person thus leaving her to be a somewhat distant artist. Lenni defended herself at the time as saying she gets bored with artists who only make "autobiographical" music and repeatedly stated that she would rather talk about a variety of topics that were worth people's attention.

Lenni grabbed her notebook that laid at the desk. As Lenni looked through her notebook of lyrics, she saw a song called "Party On", which was a sarcastic song that mimicked the distraction party anthems that dominated the Billboard Top 100 like "Candy Shop"; "My Humps"; "Don't Cha"; and "Drop it Like It's Hot". Some of those Lenni actually did enjoy, but she wondered why people wanted to be so distracted.

Lenni eyed her page for "Party On" that read:

_C'mon, let's have some fun/_ _  
_ _They're gonna go and shoot some guns/_

_C'mon, let's have some fun/_ _  
_ _They're gonna go and shoot some guns/_

_They shoot 'em all day/_ _  
_ _Taste that blood /_ _  
_ _Yeah tastes smooth all the way/_ _  
_ _Eat it up like Marmalade/_ _  
_ _They gonna eat shit/_ _  
_ _When they blow 'em into bits/_

_From Basra to Baghdad/_ _  
_ _Gave 'em hell with all we had/_

_We shoot them up all day/_ _  
_ _Make Those mother fuckers pay/_

_Party On! Ho!_

_They wear their stripes right/_ _  
_ _When they go and fight!_

_Fight! Fight! Fight!_

_Spread that terror/_ _  
__So Clean/_ _  
__Wash it out like Listerine/_ _  
__Ain't no better life for us_ /  
_Turn this shit into dust/_ _  
__Kill you with my charmin' wit/_ _  
__Eat that, yeah taste that shit_

_Hit that beat on da street/_ _  
_ _See that blood/_

_Yeah...Fresh Meat_

Lenni made some mental notes to fix some of the rhymes. Then she eyed her counter-point verse that read:

_C'mon, let's have some fun/_ _  
_ _They're gonna go and shoot some guns/_

_C'mon, let's have some fun/_ _  
_ _They're gonna go and shoot some guns/_

_Head down Sitting in my burka/_ _  
_ _Been through some shit yeah mother fucka/_ _  
_ _Gonna defend my land like it's Mecca/_ _  
_ _How you going to blame me as I blaze through ya/_

_We gonna fight/_ _  
_ _Yeah that's right/_

_From Basra to Baghdad/_ _  
_ _Gave 'em hell with all we had/_

_We shoot them up all day/_ _  
_ _Make those mother fuckers pay/_

_Party On! Ho!_

_They wear their stripes right/_ _  
_ _When they go and fight!_

_Fight! Fight! Fight!_

_Spread that terror/_ _  
__So Clean/_ _  
__Wash it out like Listerine/_ _  
__Ain't no better life for us_ /  
_Turn this shit into dust/_ _  
__Kill you with my charmin' wit/_ _  
__Eat that, yeah taste that shit_

_Hit that beat on da street/_ _  
_ _See that blood/_ _  
_ _Yeah...Fresh Meat_

Lenni made mental notes to add more distinct verses to make it clear both sides were pretty much coming from the same position.

 _Hmmm...this won't be the song I'll have Tina make the video for_. Lenni thought. She put on another demo that seemed to be a better fit for Tina's concept. This one had Lenni personally bragging about herself in an ironic way to poke fun of pop stars of today.

After working on her songs for a few hours, Lenni decided it was time to call it a day as the feeling of exhaustion hit her like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, Lenni heard the door open.

"Hey Bibs!" Max Frazier entered the apartment soaking wet with an armful of groceries. Lenni instinctively rose up to help him carry them to the counter and put them away. She looked outside the window and saw that it was storming. She had no idea it was raining already much less thunder storming.

"Hey Dad! How was rehearsal?" asked Lenni as Max went to the dryer to grab a clean towel.

"Oh, just wonderful," Max said sarcastically. "Mark and Doug got into another argument about the new arrangement of 'Simple Times', can you believe it? I thought we'd already made a decision on it. I had to play peacemaker again. I tried to come up with a compromise, but neither of them seemed happy with it. The fight made our rehearsal go over, and I got caught in the rain."

"So, you ended up looking like the bad guy, huh?" Lenni was hoping to learn how Max dealt with conflicts between stubborn musicians.

"Like always."

Max noticed that the iMac screen was lit up displaying GarageBand and wondered if Lenni had may any more progress on her demos. "Hey Lenni, how about letting your old man listen to what you're working on."

"No, not yet. They're not finished," said Lenni sheepishly.

"Alright...alright...but you're going to let me be the first to hear them, right?"

"Sure, Dad," said Lenni forcing a sincere-looking smile.

"I'll hold you to that. Hey, Sally isn't home yet?"

"Dad, you're getting forgetful in your old age." Lenni joked.

"Haha!" Max responded. "Now, who are you?"

"Haha, real funny Dad!" Lenni responded as she playfully jabbed her father on the arm. "Anyway, Sally has a meeting tonight with the City Board remember?"

"Oh yeah, that's right." Max mocked punched his head for forgetting. Then he turned towards Lenni, "Well, do you have any plans tonight?"

"Nope. I thought I'd just stay in and maybe work on my lyrics."

"Sounds like a plan," Max said with an encouraging smile. However, Lenni sensed some disappointment.

 _Can't I just stay in without people being worried about it?_ thought Lenni.

"Want to help me make dinner? I'd figure spaghetti with my special sauce. That'll warm my bones."

"Oh yum." Lenni replied. Lenni grabbed the ingredients for Max's special sauce as she knew the recipe by heart now.

* * *

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

Lenni lied in bed scribbling notes into her notebook as she listened to a playlist she created on her 40GB iPod that was set on shuffle. The song "Ghost of Corporate Future" by Regina Spektor started playing while Lenni was in the middle of jotting down phrases she could use for her next interview. She did not have any planned yet, but she knew it would be coming once Jade approved of her demos she'd present once she had any. She wrote:

 _Yeah, I heard that my music is distant and impersonal before. I just think my music is a continuation to the Anti-folk_ _tradition...it's meant to sound a bit raw or experimental and is intended to shock or protest something. Except, with a layered production scheme following an electronic, hip-hop, world tradition. I think I get that criticism because people are just used to women writing about love all the time or to make melodrama out of their personal lives..._

 _I swear_ , Lenni thought, _if I get another question about why I don't write more personal lyrics, I'm going to scream_.

Lenni's Macbook was also open and her browser was on the Apple website showcasing the fifth-generation iPod that was coming out in the next month. She was eyeing the 60GB model. Then she heard violent thunder as the lights flickered. The thunder storm showed no signs of subsiding. Lenni then opened a new page to check the forecast on the Internet, and saw the rain would continue well into tomorrow.

Suddenly, some knocking on her door interrupted her.

"Come in!" Lenni said warmly.

Sally entered the room with a warm smile and a mug of tea (English breakfast or "Builder's Tea") with a saucer containing some biscuits. Her hair was still wet from being out.

"Hello Lenni, just thought you'd enjoy this. I boiled too much water so thought to make you a cuppa," Sally said making another self-deprecating joke about being lost in the kitchen.

Lenni smiled at Sally even though she could sense Sally made the tea so she could check in on her. Sally was a caregiver in that way.

Sally had been dating her father for more than a decade now and had lived with him for nearly as long. Lenni struggled with the relationship at first, but had always loved Sally as a person. In many ways, Lenni's music was inspired by Sally's social activism. Lenni often questioned if Lenni was using her music as a way to be Sally.

"Thanks Sally. I'm surprised you're still up, you had a long day."

"It's not so late. Besides, you know I'm a night owl...like you and your dad." Sally sat on Lenni's bed. They had gotten so close that Sally had a standing invitation to just make herself comfortable in Lenni's room. "How are the demos coming along?"

"Oh great," said Lenni sarcastically. Sally gave her a sympathetic smile. "It's just I feel pressure to finish some quickly so I can present them to Jade and have them be ready so Tina could shoot a video that I think the pressure is making me procrastinate or something."

"I don't know how you and Max do it, making music is like a never-ending struggle."

"You should know about never ending struggles, you're always fighting to fix things around here."

Sally gave Lenni an exaggerated nod coupled with an exasperated look. "That is true, it's hard some times. I decided long ago to just focus on small projects to improve the community because I thought with those, I can have some control over. That way if they were completed, I'd be able to get the feeling of actually accomplishing something. In our line of work, that's really important. It's almost a part of self-care, I think." Sally continued, "Thinking about the bigger problems can be too much and can make you feel like you have no control. That will just gnaw at you and then weigh you down to the point you cannot get out of bed. I learned the hard way that by focusing on the very little things, it may all add up and cause a ripple effect that will inspire others to do their own small projects. A billion small projects getting done will have the same effect as one large wave of change. Inspiring others to do the worked needed...certainly worked with you, didn't it?" Sally said nudging Lenni.

"Sure did," Lenni said smiling, nudging back.

"I admit, it gets really hard," said Sally. "I mean after a while, you just realize you're working against the tide of corporate greed and apathy. Whatever I do to help someone, a group of people, or even the community, it doesn't fix the actual problem. I'm just trying to make it easier to live in a world that I honestly feel is simply corrupt."

"Sally, are you ok?" Lenni asked. Sally was usually so optimistic about things and motivating others not to lose heart. In fact, she never seemed disheartened when obstacles came in her way or if she took two steps back when she took one step forward.

"Oh, I'm just venting. Tomorrow, I'll get up, smile, and go on fighting." Sally said showing her characteristic resilience. "Oh, I forgot why I came in here. I was thinking about taking a trip in a few months to London, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come. I was going visit Simon and Elizabeth, and thought the trip may be nice."

"Oh...that actually sounds great," said Lenni hoping Sally didn't catch her looking unsure at the prospect. "When were you thinking of going?"

"I was thinking February actually. Not the best time to go to cold and wet England, I know, but I realized I had a break in my schedule around then. Unfortunately, your father has a month-long gig at 58 Above around that time, but I'd love it if you could go."

Lenni's uneasiness about going was due to the fact that she feared Sally needed Lenni to serve as a buffer between her and her kids. Lenni had only met Sally's children Simon and Elizabeth a handful of times before, and they had always come to New York to visit Sally. At the time, they both seemed nice if a bit reserved. Sally hoped to gain full custody of them one year after her divorce with ex-husband Colin was settled and they were coming to a custody agreement. However, Simon and Elizabeth decided to stay in London with their father to Sally's surprise. Lenni remembered Sally being devastated about it but eventually picked herself up with her usual resilience.

Lenni remembered during the more recent times meeting Simon and Elizabeth, they seemed passive-aggressive towards Sally. Lenni wondered if they resented her for choosing to stay in the United States instead of moving back to England with them. She continued to wonder if they did not understand why Sally would not want to share physical custody of them and why she felt the need to "fix" problems in Brooklyn when she could have done so in London as well. Lenni admitted to herself that she might have felt the same way. Lenni then realized she hadn't seen them in about three years. What would they be like now?

"I have to see what my schedule will look like with Jade, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"Oh good. Listen no rush ok. We have a lot of time to plan this." Sally smiled and exited Lenni's room.

Once Sally left, Lenni slumped onto her bed. Lenni looked around at her notebook on one side, her iPod on another, and her laptop. Lenni had forgotten what she was doing.

Lenni decided to grab her laptop and opened a file titled "Ghostwriter" on her word processor. In front of her were a few dozen pages of thoughts and messages she had written to Ghostwriter. She did not do this every day, but sometimes she had a compulsion to write to him. She dated all of her entries so that it resembled a journal.

Lenni saw that the last entry she wrote was titled "Kyle". Lenni pressed "Command + F" and typed "Kyle". After seeing that it resulted in a few hundred results and counting, she quickly exited the document. She did not want to think about him right now nor see his name. She stifled a few tears.

Lenni lied in bed staring at nothing in particular.

She sighed.

She grabbed her laptop again and opened the document.

_September 12, 2005_

_Hey Ghostwriter..._

_Today was tiring. But at least I'm out of bed. I received a text from Rob today after I met up with Tina. I don't know why I declined to meet up with him today but I did. Sometimes I think it's getting easier to move on from Kyle but when I get my head about that whole situation, I can't seem to face Rob._

_Two years ago, I was engaged to Kyle. A year-and-a-half ago, I could have been a widow if our wedding date was just a little bit earlier...if I would have married him. Maybe he wouldn't have died if we married sooner. One thing you do affects everything else that happens to you, doesn't it? If you were around, could you have saved him? I don't know how you could have. A cab driver hit his bike. You really can't do anything about that._

_I wish Rob and I could just go back to how we were before Kyle died. It was awkward but we didn't care. Now that Kyle is gone, I feel like I shouldn't be as close to Rob. It feels disrespectful to his memory. Why do I feel this way? I never cheated on Kyle with Rob...not physically anyway. But I can hear his voice still...Kyle still haunts me._

_I never want to think about him._

_I distract myself to not think about him._

_It affects my work. I do anything to not delve too deeply that I just end up writing about topics I really don't know anything about._

_I research and research just to give my songs the lyrical content it deserves, but it doesn't feel right anymore. I don't know what to do._

_Why aren't you writing back, GW? I miss you. I sometimes think I can feel you around watching us. It's probably just me hoping that more than anything, right?_

Lenni then closed her laptop.

The exhaustion that hit her hours ago started to overwhelm her body. Lenni fell asleep on top of her sheets with the lights still on. She had missed three messages from Rob and one from Alex.

* * *

**THE NEXT EVENING**

Rob and Lenni were sitting side-by-side at Nobou's Noodle Bar wordlessly enjoying their ramen. There was a comfort eating with Rob. There was a comfort just being with Rob. They did not feel the need to fill the space with constant talking. They just seemed to understand how the other was feeling and would act accordingly. They both understood the value of silence.

Lenni turned around and saw the rain was still going strong. Lenni turned towards Rob, who was devouring his noodles. Rob had become a vegetarian some time ago and had handed his egg to Lenni. He refused to call himself a "vegan" although she observed that his eating habits were becoming closer to that of one, including the part about not eating eggs. Although he could have easily ordered his vegetarian broth ramen without eggs, he knew Lenni loved them.

Lenni smiled to herself as she was listening to Rob slurping his noodles. She scooped the egg he had given her with her spoon and savored it.

After leaving the noodle bar, Rob wondered if he had time to catch the bus as they were already near the bus stop or if it would be faster to take the subway going East to Bushwick. Lenni was heading West towards Fort Greene, so this spot was where they'd separate. Lenni and Rob looked at the bus schedule, and it was clear the train would probably be faster.

"You know, I don't mind waiting for the bus actually, since we're already at the stop," said Rob scrunching closer and bending his back to fit under Lenni's umbrella. She had no idea how Rob forgot to bring his umbrella as it had been raining all day today and all night yesterday.

"I'll wait with you then," said Lenni.

"You don't have to do that," said Rob rubbing the back of his head.

"And let you get wet? Get real," declared Lenni staring out into the street at both directions seeing if the bus was coming even though she already knew the bus schedule had said it would not come for a good half hour at least. She was surprised that she hoped it would take longer than that.

Rob chuckled. He then grabbed Lenni's umbrella so he could hold it to cover both of them at their respective heights properly. Lenni noticed that Rob was holding it in a way to fully cover Lenni while he was getting wet on one side.

Then Rob's free hand brushed past Lenni's hand.

She interlocked her fingers into his as a reflex. As she realized what she did, Lenni quickly unlocked them and turned away hoping Rob did not see her blushing. Lenni was not sure if she was blushing but she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks.

Rob then turned towards Lenni. She then realized she had been shuffling her feet. _How embarrassing_ , she thought.

They quietly stood side-by-side for what felt like an eternity. Then Lenni felt the comfort with Rob coming back. Sure, what she did was embarrassing, but it was Rob. It felt oddly ok.

As they were standing, Lenni and Rob had gradually moved closer to one another, unaware.

Lenni then felt Rob interlock his fingers with hers. Lenni locked her fingers with his tightly in response as the rain continued to spill.

 _The rain is what makes things grow,_ Lenni thought. _Rain and tears aren't so bad after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm obviously not a songwriter at all, I hope I didn't make you guys suffer too much reading through those lyrics. Next chapter is about Rob, and you won't have to wait three years for it as I am so close to done with it that I could probably upload it in a few hours after proofreading it a few more times. Please comment and review.


	5. Chapter 4: Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September 11, 2005...in a bar in Bushwick, Rob Baker works on his latest manuscript. This process leads Rob down a path of reliving past resentments, confront bitter feelings of abandonment/detachment, and face his guilt. Can he make an unexpected connection or two?

_The water is warm_ _  
_ _But it's sending me shivers_

_A baby is born_ _  
_ _Crying out for attention_

_Memories fade_ _  
_ _Like looking through a fogged mirror_

_Decisions too_ _  
_ _Decisions are made_  
_Decisions are made and not bought_ _  
_ _But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot_

_I guess not_

\- MGMT

When Rob Baker hung up his phone, the time said it was 5:48 pm. He was in the middle of writing down ideas for short stories about various people dealing with "the event" or what the most people call "September 11" or "9/11".

 _How appropriate,_ Rob thought as it was September 11, 2005.

Rob initially did not want to write stories about the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers because by 2005, it seemed as though everybody had written about their experiences with it. What new perspective could he bring to it? Rob felt that the market for these stories have become oversaturated and almost boring by now.

However, Rob just could not shake this idea away. He had dreams of a single-mother flight attendant who worried about being behind on her mortgage payment when she saw the news. He imagined himself the businessman who cursed himself when he missed his flight only to live with survivor's guilt for the rest of his life. He became an Ecuadorian woman who was finally able to afford a ticket to New York and obtain a visa to visit "the site" or "ground zero" a year after "the event" and go through the mourning process for her son who worked in one of the towers as it just happened. He wondered what it would be like to be a person working at the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation in a tight cubicle dealing with angry callers complaining about LMDC's controversial plans for rebuilding the World Trade Center.

Rob saw his imagined characters...no, his entire stories...as his kids. He would plant the seed onto the soil - the characters onto the page. He would nourish them with his ink and his imagination and watch them grow. Like real kids, they never turned out the way he completely planned. Every "kid" that is born would gnaw at Rob's head, crying for attention, until he would finally realize it on the page.

Then he would repeat this cycle. Even if Rob did not know where he was going with a certain story, he knew that the trick was just to keep writing. Make a decision. Every decision he made would help clear the fog up. Even if he was unsure whether a decision was the right one, or if it hurt him when he would uncharacteristically go back to his past work to review.

A few years ago, after he received his Master of Fine Arts degree in Writing, Rob had been invited to present a play he had written for the Rebel Playhouse off of Prospect Park. Since the Rebel Playhouse was an educational theatre company catering towards children and teenagers, Rob had expected his two act play to stay static as the children actors would play the characters he created "as is". However, once he had met the children and rehearsed with them with the director, he was hit with a flurry of inspiration to change and shape the characters around each individual actor's features and personalities. This changed the entire tone of the piece and even the dynamics of the relationships he had originally crated. This was the first time Rob had undertaken such a collaborative approach with any of his work. Through his experience with Rebel, he had learned that once you share your work with others, it cannot stay static. It was an exhilarating experience, but it was one Rob had not wanted to revisit.

Rob found that allowing others to form and comment on his creations that came from deep inside was a completely terrifying experience. Even with his novellas and short stories, where the only collaborative effort came from editors and publishers, Rob felt resentful that his whole profession was sustained by having other people read it. He always felt his writings were private conversations between him and the page.

He hated how he could not control the way others would react or perceive his work; that he could not control how others would react or perceive what was essentially a piece of his soul. That entire process would paralyze him. Rob thought it was the worst part of being a writer.

And yet, he knew that by doing that - by inviting others into his work, he would grow and could become better. It was only through this process where he could truly see his kids blossom and measure the impact they had on others. He admitted that there was no other feeling like seeing the effect his work could have on others.

This lesson of inviting others into even the most personal aspects of your entire self was one Rob had been learning and trying to implement into his real life since he reunited with the Team back during Christmas break in 1998. Rob was not sure how comfortable he was with that level of intimacy with others, even the members of the team who he had recognized were probably the closest people he had in his life. They were always so receptive and accepting of him. And yet, he could only share nuggets with them, treading carefully as he dipped into the pool of their friendship. Although the water was warm, it was sending him shivers.

As Rob jotted ideas down into his notebook, he looked outside the bar window. Given the opportunity, Rob preferred to work on his projects at quiet bars over coffee houses. Coffee houses were full of loud machines, insufferable undergrads, and uppity patrons who felt that their time was more valuable than the treating the poor barista as a human being worthy of dignity. Bars felt welcoming and bartenders, at least at the bars he patronized, seemed to have more autonomy to tell rude customers off.

Rob's favorite spot to work was a little graffiti-stained bar called Motz in Bushwick. Although it was a bit dark, this helped his mood when he suffered major writer's block. Lenni felt that place was full of insufferable hipsters. Rob defended the place, but as much as Rob Baker would like to deny it, his occasional bandanas, messy-on-purpose hair, ironic military jacket ensembles (when he was in the mood), flannel shirts, long-shorts, sneakers, and a skateboard decorated with ironic bumper stickers all pointed to him being a qualified hipster. Whatever that meant.

One positive thing about the dark ambiance of Motz was that Rob could write to Ghostwriter even if Ghostwriter did not write back. Although nobody was actually watching what Rob was writing – he hoped – Rob always felt self-conscious when writing to Ghostwriter in public...well ever since his departure in late 1999. As far as he knew, Rob was the only one who consistently made it semi-daily ritual to write something to Ghostwriter. He had already been used to writing to Ghostwriter without receiving a response when he was in Australia, so he felt this was no different.

As a child to a well-intentioned and loving, but an emotionally uncomfortable father and a busy mother, Rob ended up spending his days isolated and alone. He used this time to read and write. He did not remember when he realized his talent for writing. All he remembered was that he would imagine people to have full conversations with in the absence any close friends. He would write down their thoughts and feelings. It provided a safe, emotional outlet for him where he would not have to be afraid of the raw emotional pangs of living life as a nomad.

Intensifying the problem was the fact that his father, a fighter pilot for the U.S. Air Force during the Vietnam War, was always assigned to various American military bases. Every six months to two years, Rob would have to pick up and move. This coupled with his distant father and mother taught Rob to not attach himself to anyone or anything. Rob knew it would just be inviting heartache.

When he moved to Fort Greene, Brooklyn, New York and started classes at Zora Neale Hurston Middle School, Rob had resigned to himself that living there would not be any different from any of the other places he had lived. Even before entering the school, Rob had decided he would just keep to himself and focus on writing his stories until the next move. Rob was not prepared for what would happen.

Meeting Ghostwriter, for better or worse, changed his life forever. When Ghostwriter came crashing into his life, what would come with it was not just a team or a group of friends, but a family.

However, becoming a family was far from instantaneous. Even after dealing with some eventful incidents with the team, Rob did not instantly feel like an actual part of the team. He kept pushing the team away when they wanted to be a part of his life. He did not want to risk connecting with people only to have them be out of his life just as quickly.

Rob could not help but reminisce about the time the team went out of their way to help him find his homeless poet friend, the Vietnam War veteran Double-T (Tommy Truborn/Norburt), who had went missing. They had done this even though he had pushed them away. This was when Rob learned the dangers of acting alone. Because he decided to work alone on this case, he had nearly gotten himself killed. Desperate to find Double-T, Rob and Lisa Norburt (Double-T's estranged daughter) decided to explore a supposedly closed-off and abandoned subway tunnel near Old Dodgers Stadium where he may have been staying in. They ended up trapped inside a tunnel after a flurry of boulders crashed down and blocked their only available exit. The team, with the help of Ghostwriter, coupled with Rob's quick thinking ended up figuring out that Rob and Lisa were trapped inside that subway tunnel. Then they showed that they were there for him and was always going to be there for him, Rob realized he was stronger and safer with the team.

It was then that Rob allowed himself to become a full member of the team resulting in the closest friends he ever had in his life. One simply did not go through an experience he had with the team without it leaving a permanent mark.

As Rob reminisced about all of this, he chuckled at the memory of the time he came rushing through a movie star's dressing room only to be attacked by her crazed and bitter stunt-double, who then bound and gagged him. The team ended up freeing him from that pickle as well.

After going through such things, he had to feel that he was a part of some grand entity that was bigger than him. However, past experience taught him to tread carefully.

Rob then bitterly remembered an incident involving Eduardo Fernandez accidentally running over Max Frazier's instruments causing a rift in the team dynamic. Members of the team were fighting with one another and harsh words were exchanged between them. At the time, Rob could not deal with confrontation between the team members. He and Tina even tried to speak with the team to try to get them to back together, which only resulted in more screaming and nasty backbiting. Rob never truly forgot the words exchanged between them. He remembered simply running away as they were still fighting. Rob wondered if he would still run away now. Probably not as the team has had fights since he came back to New York, but maybe it would take the right fight to do it. This was a memory Rob held on to for the rest of his life. Rob questioned whether he should have continued to withdraw right then and there. It may have saved him from some heartache later. This was a lesson Rob took to heart.

Rob remembered thinking how right he was to be skeptical that his new deep friendship with the team would last forever at that time, how this was the moment where it would end, like everything had ended for him. Of course, it was not the end as he and Jamal resolved to get the team back together, and the team eventually made up. He remembered the feeling of elation that the team was back together - the sensation of dancing with the team to the tune of "Hang on Sloopy" by the McCoys at their get together party.

Unfortunately, Rob later regretted to not holding on to his skepticism after accepting the team as his family well into his tenure in Australia. He still somewhat held on to this regret today.

Still that memory was not all bad. Rob started to think more about that incident. At this moment, he was amazed at how he did not withdraw right then and there. To this day, Rob was amazed at how he was able to fully embrace the team then and allow them into his life.

Rob allowed himself to feel such safety. He had allowed himself to make such close connections. He let people into his life. He started to allow himself to believe his father's promise that his job at the Veterans Affairs office in New York meant that they were no longer moving around. Rob started to imagine himself graduating with Lenni, Alex, and Jamal. He imagined sitting in the stands to watch Tina and then Gaby graduate. He even imagined himself being with the team as they continued to solve mysteries and problems in the community in college and even as adults while juggling full-time jobs and possibly kids. Speaking of children, he even imagined himself growing a relationship with a member of the team and settling down in Fort Greene forever.

_Good things never last._

If there's one philosophy Rob adhered to today, it was that.

At the peak of Rob's happiness, his parents informed him that his worst fear had been actualized. He'd be forced to leave again. His mother accepted a job in Australia working under the Consulate General of the United States of America. His father had already promised him they were never moving. What the hell were they thinking?

Even as a child, he recognized just how special the Ghostwriter team was even though he was sure most of the team did not recognize it at the time or reflected upon it to realize it. And then he had it stripped away from him. He had let his guard down.

He understood now that his mom had sacrificed so much of her life by taking a backseat professionally for his father that she could not be faulted for wanting to pursue her own dreams. He understood the fairness of that in his head. He also knew that they did not know anything about Ghostwriter, the bond he shared with the team, and everything he had been through with them. He understood his parents simply thought that since he now knew how to make friends, he could do the same in Sydney.

However, this move was particularly cruel and created a resentment and a distrust towards his parents that Rob still held on to some degree. Deep down, Rob had never forgiven his parents, causing a rift between them. Rob understood his parents were currently at a loss to what had happened between them and were desperate to figure out how they could mend their relationship, but Rob still was not interested.

This move was also the start of the rift between Rob and the Ghostwriter team.

Despite having to move and deal with the deep trauma from not being able to trust one's parents again, Rob held on to a glimmer of hope. He convinced himself that because the team was so special, they would always maintain contact despite the fact that he was thousands of miles away in another continent, and even in another hemisphere.

At first, he and the team did their best to keep in touch with one another. But in 1993, the Internet and Email were not widely used methods of communication, nor were cell phones a fixture in everyday life. Everything had to be done via snail mail.

At first, Rob and the team wrote constantly to one another. Then sometime after, Rob and the other members of the team wrote less frequently to one another. Initially, Rob made some allowances. Ghostwriter was not able to travel to Australia like the team hoped he would he figured. Then the first seeds of doubt started to creep in. If Rob had been truly honest with himself, the doubts had already crept in before that point, but he had ignored them. Rob started to worry that if a supernatural being like Ghostwriter, who was full of amazing tricks and abilities, could not reach Rob, then how could there have been any hope of him maintaining contacts with a bunch of kids who will naturally grow out of the habit of writing to you?

The next seam holding Rob together with the team unraveled when Rob found out Ghostwriter was able to travel to London with Jamal a year after his move. The team made with no attempt to figure out a way for Ghostwriter to travel to Australia. They did not care. Rob had felt utterly gutted by this.

Rob understood that he could have communicated his desire for the team to find a way to bring Ghostwriter to Australia, but he did not want to ask for something that he felt they should have offered to do. However, he also understood they were also young people dealing with their own issues and problems. He did not fully blame them for failing to maintain consistent contact, but he could not help but feel some resentment anyway. This resentment still persisted inside of him.

As a way to cope with the news that Ghostwriter could travel international waters but decided not to travel to Rob in Australia and in a desperate attempt to hold on to some hope, Rob decided to take some control back into his life. He decided to use the notebooks each team member gave him as a parting gift. Rob decided that even if Ghostwriter and members of the team forgot about him, he was not going to allow himself to forget Ghostwriter or the team. Whenever he wanted to write something to or about any of the members, he would use the notebooks each one specifically provided to him. He started using the notebooks to start writing stories about them from what he could ascertain from their letters and from what he could imagine about them. The passages were a mix of imagined stories and confessionals about how he felt about each team member. They would reflect on how he was feeling right then and there, whether it was good or bad. He would also use them when he wanted to write to directly to Ghostwriter. He would write even if there would be no answer. There never would be one.

Even during this waning period, Rob was still receiving letters from and sending letters to the team. Among the team members, Lenni wrote to him more frequently than anyone else on the team. It was easier to write to her because she was a writer at heart, despite her own claims to the contrary. Her letters had a natural rhythm to it, and it was as if she was singing her letters to him. Maybe it was only Rob's perception of Lenni that made him read her letters that way. Rob's objectivity towards Lenni Frazier was compromised when he fell for her during his time in Brooklyn. He was not sure if she had felt the same way. Their relationship did not resemble the obvious romantic tension of Alex and Tina. Theirs was comfortable, nice, and fun.

Then Lenni wrote to Rob detailing the evening of her 8th grade Prom to celebrate her, Jamal's, and Alex's graduation from Hurston Middle School. What she wrote broke his heart. She told him that she had possibly fallen in love with Tina's older brother Tuan, while they were working on music together to perform at her prom, to which he accompanied her to as her date. Tuan was three years older than Lenni and Rob. How could Rob compete with him, especially when Tuan was right there with her? Tuan was also a musician to boot! Touching her, being with her, holding her.

Rob also realized Lenni had no amorous feelings for him or knew he had those feelings for her as she would not have easily sent him such a letter. Lenni was not callous nor was she inconsiderate.

After reading that fateful letter, Rob, out of heartbreak, went to the cardboard box where he kept his Ghostwriter notebooks with the intention of finding the one Lenni gave him. It was full of confessions of his feelings towards her. He took the notebook and was ready to tear it apart and throw it out. However, right before he was going to tear out the pages, he saw her inscription on the inside cover:

_FRIENDS ARE FOREVER!_

_Love,_

_Lenni_

Rob simply could not do it once he saw that. Instead, he put her notebook in the bottom of the box and would not look at it again for another five years.

In 1998, Rob had graduated high school. By that time, he made a good number of friends, and even had a girlfriend who he felt he was in love with at time before they decided to break up due to neither of them wanting to deal with a long-distance relationship and her saying he was "distant".

Leaving his life in Australia behind, Rob was anxious to get back to the States. He knew deep down that he and New York City had unfinished business. Rob always had it in his head that to become the writer he wanted to be, he must return to New York.

Rob applied and was accepted to the Pratt Institute's Creative Writing program on a partial scholarship. He was one of thirty-four students in the program. His dad was not particularly enthused that Rob chose to study Creative Writing in college. Rob took his father's disapproval as his lack of confidence in Rob's abilities.

Despite his father's misgivings and their somewhat fractured relationship, Rob's parents had already prepared for this inevitability. Lucky for Rob, they set up a college fund for him, so he would have a good bit of money for living expenses. Rob also received some grants and took on some part-time jobs to help pay his way through school.

When Rob was ready to depart for New York, he decided to not inform the Ghostwriter team. The last mystery they wrote to him about was some lost jewel case where the team ended up trapped in the sewers back in 1996. Rob remembered that letter being the first letter he had received from the team in almost a year. He also thought that situation sounded extremely dangerous and strangely like something he would find himself in, not the rest of the team.

The next and last letter he received came out-of-the-blue in early 1998. It was a group letter with Jamal's address as the return address, which was unusual. The letter contained information about everyone's plans for college, when they were graduating, and asking what his plans were afterwards. He waited a few months before responding. In fact, he waited until the month he was leaving for New York to write back. Rob simply responded that he had been accepted at a creative writing program at an unspecified university. He intended to keep the letter short with an almost a curt tone to match his feelings towards the team. He knew he would leave for New York before the team would be able to send a reply letter back. He figured the team and him simply grew up and grew apart. _That's what kids do, naturally, right?_ he figured. Rob concluded that the duration of their correspondence in of itself was a miracle.

Rob decided to leave it up to fate. He wanted to see for himself if he was meant to reunite with the Ghostwriter team, and for him that meant not actively making it happen. Rob admitted that this was a very odd and petty thing to do. Hell, he felt this was an irrational thing to do. However, Rob just could not deal with any possible rejection he may receive from them if he had contacted them and there wasn't any interest in meeting. He also feared that there really was no team for him to return.

When he started his Fall semester at Pratt, Rob did not hear anything from the team nor did he run into any of them. This was surprisingly as Pratt was in Brooklyn. In fact, it was only about ten blocks away from Fort Greene Park, near where most of members of the team lived last time he heard. But then, from the last letter he had received from the team, he knew Jamal was at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, so he would not be likely to run into him in Brooklyn.

Alex was at New York University in Greenwich Village. Although it would not be impossible to run into Alex near Pratt if Alex still lived at the Bodega or at least visited the Bodega, New Yorkers living at different boroughs surprisingly do not see much of each other unless they plan it or run into each other after commuting to work. In fact, many New Yorkers don't leave their neighborhoods if they don't have to. Or even their street. Or their apartment. For whatever reason, Rob did not run into Alex when he started that first semester. As the months wore on, Rob convinced himself that he did not actually care too much about running into Alex as he did not particularly remember any meaningful one-on-one interactions with him.

However, Rob could not really think of a reason why he did not run into Lenni. According to their last letter, she was working on her album that she was hoping to release by next year. Rob knew she would be staying in Brooklyn to make the album with her studio manager. He had wondered where she was hiding herself. Rob fixated on the fact that he had failed to run into Lenni since he imagined a chance encounter with her the most.

He knew Gaby and Tina were still in high school, so they should have been around the neighborhood. However, he did not run into them either. Rob admittedly was disappointed. He did feel a closeness with Gaby and Tina. They felt like his little sisters to him. With Gaby, he had always liked her genuine enthusiasm and the way she wore her heart on her sleeve. He even felt somewhat protective of her as he felt she was more vulnerable and sensitive than she let on. With Tina, Rob felt a kindred introverted artistic spirit. He and her shared a similar energy where they dealt best when working one-on-one with individuals. He also sensed a real strength from her that many would not have noticed and one that he admired. He related to that as his father always underestimated his strengths as he did not particularly care for traditional showcases of strength through so-called masculine activities.

He wondered why he had not been running into any of them. It seemed like he couldn't help but run into any member of the team when he was a kid. The countless number of times he surprisingly ran into members of the team was one of his favorite memories as a child.

After a few months of failing to run into any member of the team, or even Ghostwriter, Rob figured that was that and started to resign himself to the idea it was over.

Then Ghostwriter contacted him at the start of Christmas break. Lucky for Ghostwriter, Rob had no plans of going back to Australia for Christmas as he was tired of spending Christmas in the summer and wanted a real, cold, harsh New York Christmas.

Rob took Ghostwriter's communication as a sign to at least meet with the rest of the team. He was surprised at how excited and anticipative he felt about the reunion. Deep down, he had always known that the team was more than just a group of friends who played together. There was a familial bond involved that was comforting but also unnerving. Truth-be-told, Rob was afraid to reconnect with the team. The team's intimacy meant that there would be high emotional rewards coupled with deep emotional hurt and regret that often comes with such closeness.

That reunion did not go smoothly, however. It was a bittersweet memory for all. Rob refused to relive their eventful reunion on Christmas 1998. Instead, he just wanted to remember bits and pieces of it. The awkward reintroductions. The uneasiness from everyone after their initial excitement with meeting him and then needing to respond to him acting distant towards them. Rob felt a fakeness with everyone's excitement in seeing him. "If they were so excited, why didn't they do a better job keeping up?" He asked at the time.

He then remembered the fight. Rob had wanted to withdraw and run away when it first started. He was getting ready to when Lenni gently held him back and encouraged him to say his piece. Jamal told everyone to let him talk without interruption. He remembered seeing Alex looking like he was going to explode with fury while Gaby looked worried and Tina looking on apologetically.

Rob remembered that he laid it on thick to the team. He also remembered then revealing more than he had wanted about his somewhat fractured relationship with his parents, and his resolve to move on from them with some new friends he made in Australia. Rob made sure to let them know that he did make new friends and the fact that he lived in Sydney, Australia for five years and how it was honestly the longest time he had ever spent in one location. How his circle of friends there were intrigued by "the American", and how they taught him some cool Australian slang words, which the team would later comment about once the reunion became lighter. Rob even spoke about the girlfriend before he left, pointing this comment at Lenni on the sly.

Rob then told the team how he blamed Ghostwriter for his inability to make close connections and lack of wanting to do so. Rob expressed that had he never presented himself in front of Rob, maybe Rob would not have gotten so close to the team and Rob could have made actual close friends in the five years he had spent in Australia. Rob regretted revealing that to the team after he made such a big fuss over his friends there. True he made friends there and went through the teenaged rites of passages with them, but he never felt truly intimate or close with them - not even his girlfriend.

After airing all of that, Lenni encouraged Rob to write to Ghostwriter, who was questioning what was going on. Rob remembered feeling angry that Ghostwriter did not seem distressed or was fading as he did when the team had that huge fight back when Mr. Fernandez ran over Max's instruments. _Was he not important enough?_ Rob remembered thinking at the time.

Then Rob hand-wrote a long letter to Ghostwriter. It had taken him more than a half-an-hour to draft. In retrospect, Rob was amazed the rest of the team did not just leave him. Instead, they went off and did their own thing to quietly reflect, but they stayed in the room with him. In a few years, Rob would later truly appreciate what the team did for him back then.

After writing that letter that essentially told Ghostwriter he blamed him for everything, all Ghostwriter could say was that he was sorry and never intended to hurt Rob. He simply said he loved him.

Ghostwriter then explained that he did not know where Australia was or how to even get there. He had never heard of it and could not even contextualize it. He wrote that the only reason he went to London was because Jamal had him travel on his boarding pass and through that, Ghostwriter was able to track the path from NYC to London. Ghostwriter told Rob he thought about him every day. He then apologized that he did not even think to put himself into a letter the team sent to him so Ghostwriter could travel to Rob that way. That, he stated, he had no excuse for.

The team then explained that the reason Ghostwriter had not contacted Rob until now this past Fall was because Ghostwriter had been away all semester. He spent the entire time with Jamal in Cambridge helping Jamal get settled and wanting to explore the Massachusetts city himself. Ghostwriter also wanted to explore the libraries of M.I.T. and Harvard to devour more knowledge. Then Ghostwriter had gotten distracted as Jamal had a case up there with somebody messing with the school's computer system even though M.I.T. had a top-notch computer security team.

The team then calmly told Rob he did not run into any of them because Alex had been at NYU settling in and staying an apartment in Greenwich that the university owned and probably missed him when he visited the Bodega. Lenni hadn't been in Brooklyn in the past few months because she was traveling with Jade to Chicago and London to work with some producers to help her arrange some of her tracks to get the new sounds she wanted. Then Gaby pointed out he never informed them that he would be moving back to Brooklyn in his last letter, so they did not even know he was back in Brooklyn.

Tina then asked where had Rob been spending his time at Pratt. It dawned on him that he actively avoided Fort Greene and any of the streets he used to frequent. He stayed East of Classon Avenue. The team had no reason to go East of Classon, even when they did that Hoodman scavenger hunt. Alex then asked him why didn't he go to Fort Greene. Jamal then told Rob to be fair to the team and asked how could they be blamed if he did not want to be found.

Rob then remembered poor Hector just standing there, not being able to add anything to the conversation. He had wanted to leave, but was encouraged by Alex and Gaby to stay since he was a part of the team. Rob remembered Hector looking particularly upset during one of Rob's rants that Tina had to comfort him.

Rob realized right then that it really was not all their fault, and he could have been more proactive himself. However, he briefly explained that maybe he wanted his relationship to diminish so he wouldn't have to invite them back into his life again as who knows how much time they'd get to spend with each other.

 _Good things never last_.

After a much calmer conversation, Ghostwriter just told them to just cherish the time they have now. "To make an effort, but to not worry about their future or things they could not know. Just embrace each other now and appreciate what they have." Don't expect more, basically. In retrospect, that was ballsy of him to say, Rob thought, as he would be leaving all of them forever in about a year.

After that initial meeting, Rob interpreted Ghostwriter's advice to mean to take it one day at a time with the members of the team. However, the drawback with that was that he was also inviting the team back into heart one day at a time rather than fully doing so from the outset. This was why Rob still felt pangs of insecurity and unease with the team despite having reconnected with them six years ago.

To their credit, the team never gave up on Rob and actively forced him to be part of their lives. They had been patient. Now, they were close to being where they were before Rob moved to Australia, even if the preceding six years were full of moves from members of the team that could have fractured their friendship. Rob himself had a bout of wanderlust where he traveled all over to conduct research for his stories. He even took internships or paid assignments for periodicals located outside of New York.

Rob later recognized that Ghostwriter had been instrumental in helping Rob reconnect with the team because Rob was the angriest with Ghostwriter. What made it easier was how easily Rob was able to forgive Ghostwriter and how much he desperately wanted Ghostwriter in his life. If Rob had been so angry at Ghostwriter and yet could mend their relationship so easily, then Rob could eventually mend his relationship with any other member of the team.

After their Christmas reunion, Rob decided a himself to simply enjoy being a kid with them for the time being.

Back to the present, Rob wrote to Ghostwriter in vain. Ghostwriter's disappearance seemed sudden, but in actuality, as Rob would later come to realize, it was not. Even before his departure, Ghostwriter did not have the same presence in the team members' lives as he once had based on what the other team members had told him. They say his presence decreased even more after the being confronted by Rob. They did not blame Rob _per se_ as they completely understood how he felt, but it seemed as if Ghostwriter became more uncomfortable after Rob's letter.

Rob noted that Ghostwriter had been stepping back. Maybe they were all too busy to notice at the time. That is not to say Ghostwriter disappeared from their lives. He would sporadically show up in order to catch up with the team. Unfortunately, Ghostwriter would sometimes catch them when they were distracted by something going on in their life. At the time, every member of the team thought it was okay to dismiss Ghostwriter because they felt that since he was just always around, he would always be and they could just catch up with him later.

Even now, Rob was taking it for granted that Ghostwriter would be around for him. Rob hoped that today would be one of those days where Ghostwriter would check in as if it had not been six years since he had last heard from him.

Rob scribbled another note to Ghostwriter.

No response, as it was every day.

The day Ghostwriter officially exited their lives for good happened in late 1999. Rob thought bitterly to himself that he'd only had been back in New York for one year by that point. That was the same amount of time Rob had with Ghostwriter initially when he was in middle school.

Rob had a theory as to why Ghostwriter had left at that moment. It had to do with the case of "Who is Ghostwriter?"

After their initial meetings, Jamal convinced Rob to help them figure out who Ghostwriter was. None of them recognized it, but this was what helped Rob stay in their lives. They reopened the dusty casebook titled "Who is Ghostwriter?" Then they started a year-long fact-finding mission while balancing school work, regular work, and a social life. They were even prepared for this case to take years if not decades.

However, unlike the rest of the team who thought they would be able to piece together Ghostwriter's identity on the side while they would live their lives and focus on their education and career paths, Jamal had become increasingly obsessed with solving not only Ghostwriter's identity, but his matter of being. As the year progressed, it was clear Jamal was starting to make this the focus of his life. Rob wondered if Jamal might have been using this as a distraction for whatever it was Jamal was hoping to be distracted from. This would lead to a confrontation between the team and Jamal. This would be the last confrontation between the team before Ghostwriter left.

Rob wondered if Ghostwriter became concerned that he was harming Jamal.

Rob remembered the last message Ghostwriter wrote to the team as he was the one to write it in the "Who is Ghostwriter?" casebook in the "Other Clues" section.

_Kids,_

_I need time to think._

_I need to discover who I really am and what I am doing with you._

_I need to understand why I am here._

_Right now, we're stuck. I'm stuck._

_Do not worry about me._

_Know that you all will always be with me._

_I love you._

It was a cryptic message at first, and the team debated whether it was a goodbye message until some time had passed where they all accepted that it was. Initially, the team figured Ghostwriter would be back in no time. They attempted to call him back by writing to him. Nothing they tried worked. Six years have passed since.

In these past six years, everyone had time to come up with his or her own explanations as to why Ghostwriter had left. Rob remembered how the individual members of the team dealt with Ghostwriter's sudden departure.

Unsurprisingly, Gaby openly expressed her feelings of betrayal by Ghostwriter. Just by observation, Rob felt Gaby was and still is the most hurt by Ghostwriter's departure. Rob had sensed she and Ghostwriter had a special relationship. She did not understand why he had to detach himself and why he would want to do that. Even after the rest of the team came up with possible justifications for it, Gaby would not accept them.

Rob understood Gaby's feelings because he had already dealt with the pain of Ghostwriter abandoning him long ago. Rob was not proud that one of his first thoughts as he was observing Gaby's breakdown was, _Now you know how it feels like...join the club._ Observing Gaby now, Rob felt a part of her was lost on that day. That was exactly the feeling Rob wanted to avoid when he reconnected with the team. He feared he was allowing himself to be put in a position to be hurt in a way where he could never recover.

Alex interpreted Ghostwriter's decision to leave as Ghostwriter's reluctance to continue his large role into their lives, and he seemed accepting of this. That angered some members of the team since they took Alex's acceptance as his desire for Ghostwriter to get out of their lives. Alex managed to calm them down by saying he hoped Ghostwriter would take this time to grow and come back once he realized he was a member of the team and will always be welcomed into their lives. Secretly, Rob had suspected that Alex was relieved since Alex seemed to be outgrowing his dependence on Ghostwriter and was becoming more worried about Ghostwriter's ability to feel their thoughts and emotions. He also knew Alex wondered more than anyone what Ghostwriter's role would be in their lives moving forward when they grew well into adulthood.

Tina was visibly dejected, but expressed sympathy with Ghostwriter's need to search for his identity and purpose. She gave Ghostwriter her blessing. Tina simply conveyed that she hoped that he would come back to check up on them from time-to-time. Rob suspected Tina sympathized with Ghostwriter's feelings because she understood the importance of finding an identity in a place where it may not always be clear. Rob knew Tina was the type was to try to see this in the most pragmatic light just to make sense of it. However, Rob also knew whatever deep hurt feelings Tina had were being kept to herself. Though Tina could be blunt, she was also selective in how she outwardly reacted to things, while retreating inwardly and keeping deeper conflicted thoughts and feelings to herself.

Lenni shared Tina's feelings of symapathy, but openly showed how upset she was by Ghostwriter's departure. Lenni went back and forth between understanding and not understanding why he had to fully leave the team and cease all contact. Lenni, with Jamal, was a _de facto_ leader of the team. Everyone knew how much Ghostwriter leaving was hurting her. Like Gaby, Lenni wore her emotions on her sleeve and had no pretenses. Where Lenni differed from Gaby was in her disposition. Lenni was naturally calm and collected and had the ability to see things in a neutral context, within reason. Rob knew Lenni would come to terms with it eventually though she would continue to question why he left and express a desire for him to come back. He and Lenni were similar in that regard.

Jamal's feelings about it were the most difficult to read. Like Lenni and Tina, he stated that understood Ghostwriter's feelings. Rob remembered him saying it in an almost robotic, unfeeling way. Jamal would then start detaching himself from any discussion of Ghostwriter in the future. Jamal stopped sharing what he had discovered about Ghostwriter, if there was anything. In fact, Rob did not remember the last time Jamal brought up Ghostwriter in conversation with him. Even Alex would mention Ghostwriter casually.

Rob could not truly observe a change in Hector as he did not know Hector that well to begin with. Hector started out writing to Rob, but understandably eventually stopped as Hector and Rob did not have a prior relationship. All Rob could observe was Hector's reaction, which was similar to Gaby's. Rob knew that Hector felt he had now been abandoned by a second father figure and retreated for a time. Rob observed Alex, Tina, and Gaby helping Hector get through those feelings.

Rob did not know Casey at all. All he knew was that Casey had been in Detroit when Ghostwriter left, and that she was angry that he did not bother to say good-bye to her. He did observe in their meetings together that she acted as if she had never met or heard of Ghostwriter because she never mentioned him or participated in any group discussions when he would be brought up.

As for Rob himself, instead of feeling abandoned, as he would have when he was younger, Rob had already accepted that this whole dynamic with Ghostwriter would not last forever. All good things come to an end after all. Instead, Rob imagined Ghostwriter's feelings. We all had to grow up. They were no longer kids, and maybe Ghostwriter grew up and outgrew them as well. Still, feelings of bitterness and resentment over the short amount of time he and Ghostwriter were able to spend with one another enveloped Rob from time-to-time.

Rob's coping strategy was rationalizing all the ways Ghostwriter's departure was better for everyone on the team. Rob imagined that there would come a time when Ghostwriter would only be of secondary importance in their lives anyway. Then not much after that once they hit their thirties and moved away from one another. Some might even move to New Jersey. That was going to happen right? It was inevitable. Ghostwriter wanted to leave before he was forgotten. It was much better to be the one dumping than the one dumped Rob thought.

* * *

**Back at Motz**

Rob turned his attention to the bartender at the bar, prompting the bartender to ask if he'd like another drink. Rob declined and went back to his thoughts.

"Still, why did he have to leave?" Rob said out loud.

Rob wrote another sentence to Ghostwriter. This one feeling a bit more desperate than the last one.

No response.

This habit of writing to Ghostwriter made Rob feel like such a kid. He was twenty-five years old. Why was he still doing this? _This is pathetic!_ Ron thought.

Rob decided to go back to working on his story outline.

Then a wave of sadness overcame him. He did not know why he had been reminiscing so much about the past. It was unusual for him.

Maybe Rob was distracting himself from something. Or someone.

Rob was then hit with a sudden compulsion to text Lenni asking if she wanted to have dinner with him tonight. It was sudden, but she was usually up for hanging out at the spur of the moment - even if that had been happening less and less since Kyle had died. It probably should have happened less and less when Kyle had been alive.

" _Kyle_..." Rob thought. He shut his mind from thinking about him. Rob was confused as to why his mind was just all over the place today. He went from working on an 9/11 aftermath story that he would most likely abandon to reminiscing about Ghostwriter to thinking about his relationship with the other members of the team, and then being close to reliving how his friendship with Lenni had evolved into a somewhat emotional affair while she was engaged to another man who died while they were engaged.

He and Lenni could not be together before because she had committed to marrying Kyle. The irony was that although they were now both available, for the first time since they reconnected, it felt as if they now could never be together. It never felt that way before, even when they had been attached to other people in the past six years. Rob always imagined they'd find their way back together.

Rob's phone began to ring. Rob picked it up as soon as he saw who the caller was. Rob's feeling of excitement turned into disappointment as Lenni told him she could not hang with him that night but promised to make it up to him. They spoke for a few more minutes about what each of them was working on before hanging up. Those few minutes was actually close to 40 minutes Rob realized.

As Rob flipped his phone off, he saw that it was close to 7 pm. He heard the heavy rain outside. People were running and splashing seemingly caught off-guard. Rob would have been too had he been outside. He did not think to bring an umbrella. Since it seemed the rain was not letting up any time soon, Rob figured he might as well stay at the bar and grab another drink. But what was he going to do about food as this bar did not serve any?

Rob decided to figure dinner out later. He worked past fatigue and spent another hour writing down his thoughts when he received a text. This one was surprising. It was from Alex asking if he wanted to grab dinner. Tina, Gaby, or Hector must have been too busy, Rob thought. Alex and Rob never spent much time together one-on-one. Before he was able to answer the text, Rob's phone rang.

"Hello?" answered Rob.

"Hey, man!" responded Alex, "what are you up to?"

"Uh...I'm at Motz's right now working on a piece. What's up?" Rob said, still somewhat confused.

"I'm in Bedford-Stuyvesant. I just got out of this school symposium thing where the members of the NYPD were speakers. You know...educating the kids about the dangers of crime and stuff. I wanted to know if you were around to have dinner. It's been a while since we spoke."

Rob felt a little apprehensive. He liked Alex, but he didn't really know how they would interact one-on-one. He had mostly dealt with Alex in group settings.

"Sure," Rob finally answered. "Where should we meet?" It was not as if Rob had any plans, and he sure was hungry.

"I figured you would have a suggestion since this is your neighborhood."

"Alex, I live in Bushwick."

"Yeah, I know, but Bedford is just a hop, skip, and jump away from Bushwick."

"I usually pass it up on the train."

"Hey Rob, hold on. A teacher is giving me a suggestion."

As Rob held on, he heard a woman's voice speaking to Alex in a flirtatious way. Alex responded oblivious to it and thanked her for the suggestion. Rob could not help but laugh.

"How about this? Let's meet at Meres. Apparently, they have good ceviche and drinks. I've been told it's pretty chill too and there's a bar."

"Are there vegetarian options?"

"Oh shit, I forgot you became vegetarian! Ok, let me ask if there are vegetarian options and if not, I can ask for another suggestion, hold on."

Before Alex could bother another person for a suggestion, Rob yelled for Alex on his receiver. "Alex, it's fine! Let's meet there. I'm sure there are things for me to eat there." Rob felt that since Alex was so eager to have dinner with him, the least he could do was oblige. Rob honestly was feeling quite flattered by now.

"Ok great, it's on the corner of Stuyvesant and Lafayette, do you know where that is?"

"Yeah, I do," Rob lied. However, he knew he could easily look it up.

When Rob entered the restaurant, he saw Alex already sitting at a table reading the menu as if it was a casebook and he was going over the "Other Clues" section. Rob came up to Alex's table and plopped down laying his soaked messenger bag on the floor.

"Hey man, if I knew you didn't have an umbrella or a hoodie I would have came to where you were at," Alex said semi-horrified at the state of Rob.

"Nah, it's ok, the rain can be invigorating."

"I guess your bag was your umbrella, huh?" chuckled Alex.

"You can say that again," said Rob.

"Man, your bag is in worst shape than mine. I should definitely get a new one. Maybe we can shop for one together some time," Alex said pointing to his own bag. "There's a great leather briefcase I've been eyeing. It's really pricey, but I'm sure there's a sale on that brand somewhere."

"Yeah...ok, sure," Rob responded taken aback by Alex making future plans for them to hang out.

"Honestly, though, I'm glad we met here. I still feel weird going to Bushwick. I mean I remember when it was the crack and arson capital of the world."

"I highly recommend it," said Rob. "It's really changing and the rent is still cheap there. I don't know if it'll always be that way. I say if you could afford to buy, do it as soon as you can."

"Interesting..." Alex thought as he eyed the menu. "Um, this restaurant is kind of weird. I'm not sure what kind of food this is. It's like Cali-Mex, Italian fusion, I don't know what it is. Look at that table, what is that smoky tortilla soup thing?" (Extra points for those who know that reference!).

Rob laughed.

"Apparently, the host told me that the chef was a 'globalist'. But there are tons of vegetarian options. I asked the host for some recommendations. She told me that the best thing to do is order a bunch of small plates and share. I was like 'small plates?' but she told me they are surprisingly filling. So afterwards...I was like 'oh you mean like tapas?' And she said, 'well, sort of.' I don't know what to think man."

Rob shook his head in a playful way. One thing that never changed was Alex and his appetite. "I'm surprised you didn't recommend a Vietnamese place. You always recommend it. That's like your favorite food, right?"

"Yeah, but Tina is making a Vietnamese spread at the party next week, so I'm trying not to eat too much of that to rev myself up for it. Besides, I don't know this area that well."

Rob looked at the assortment of dishes on their table consisting of more vegetable and non-meat protein dishes than Alex probably usually ordered. As they started, Rob observed Alex's reaction to the dishes. He actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Hey, this is pretty good."

Rob smiled as he dug in.

After they were halfway through their dishes, Rob finally asked what he had been wondering. "So, what made you invite me out?"

"No reason."

"Really?" asked Rob skeptically.

"Really. Well, ok," Alex admitted.

" _Here it comes_ ," Rob thought. _"It couldn't have just been because he wanted to hang out with me. We don't have much in common outside of Ghostwriter and maybe liking mysteries."_

"I wanted to hang out because I thought it'd be nice to hang with another guy."

"Another guy?" Rob said surprised at his answer.

"Yeah, I mean I didn't just pick you because you're a guy, you are my friend after all. It's just that I'm always surrounded by this feminine energy all of the time. Between Tina, Gaby, and my partner, Yvette."

Rob was dumbfounded. He had never thought of himself as "another guy".

"Yeah, I thought it'd be cool if we just hung out like bros."

"Like bros..." Rob said - more to himself than to Alex. Did he have to now play a part? Rob had always thought Alex was obviously a "guy". Though thoughtful and sensitive to others, at times, Rob always thought of Alex as a "guy". He exuded this machismo energy and had the usual "guy" interest in sports and "bro" things. Rob didn't fit into that category. He wasn't sure what Alex was thinking.

"Well, what about Hector?" Rob asked.

"Oh, ever since Hector started law school, he's been so busy and stressed. He hardly has time to do anything."

" _Second choice_ , _"_ Rob thought to himself.

"But I wouldn't really invite Hector either. I still see him as my little brother. I really wanted to hang out with you actually."

"You did?" asked Rob.

"Don't be so surprised, man," said Alex laughing.

"No, it's just that I don't remember a time where we just hung out, me and you."

"Come on, we hung out tons of times," said Alex.

"Only with the team, or with Jamal when he's in town."

Alex thought about it. "You know, you're right. That really is my bad. But I just never thought we had to before. You always were just there with everyone else. I assumed we were as close." Alex considered his thoughts for a moment. "Wow, you're right. We never really just hung out on our own, huh?"

"No, we haven't," said Rob sounding more confrontational than he had intended. He hoped Alex did not take his statement the wrong way though he would be more than entitled to do so.

"Well, we should rectify that," Alex said flashing his usual smile.

Rob simply smiled and continued eating the food.

After they paid the bill Alex suggested that they stop for a drink at the Puerto Rican bar next door. It was a more boisterous than Rob's usual scene but Rob had agreed because he found himself enjoying Alex's company. After the initial awkwardness from realizing this was one of the very few times they had hung out together on their own in the twelve-to-thirteen years they've known each other, Rob and Alex eased into conversation and ended up swapping hilarious tales of the recent going-ons in their lives.

At the bar, Alex and Rob found a quieter corner where they were able to get waiter service. Both ordered a beer. Rob ordered an IPA, extra hoppy, while Alex ordered a Modelo.

"You know, we have spoken one-on-one before," said Alex before taking a gulp of his Modelo and letting out a small belch.

Rob did not consider the possibility that Alex had been thinking about this.

"Oh yeah?" asked Rob.

"Yeah, when we wrote each other letters when you were in Australia," said Alex.

 _That's right!"_ thought Rob. How could he have forgotten? Initially, the team were writing to Rob at a consistent rate until high school life took over and the team had been busy with their own mysteries without him. Now that Rob thought about it, Alex really was a good letter writer. He remembered his letters used to make him laugh, and were surprisingly personal. He remembered some time in eleventh grade where Alex confessed that he still had feelings for Tina prompting Rob to tell him about a crush he had on a girl back in Sydney. He had never told Alex he had a crush on Lenni.

"I remember," Alex continued, "a letter a wrote to you about Tina. You were actually the first person I told about me still having a crush on her. I didn't even tell Gaby or Ghostwriter. It was just so easy to write to you." Alex then downed his second Modelo.

"Actually, Alex, you wrote some really great letters. I heard your voice in all of them and they were really fun to read. I used to get excited when I saw a letter from you," confessed Rob. "You and Lenni were probably the ones who wrote to me the most."

"Ah, I just had a lot of practice writing to pen pals," said Alex slightly reddening at Rob's compliment.

Rob smiled.

"Ok!" exclaimed Alex. "This calls for shots!"

 _Wait, what?_ thought Rob.

The waitress brought two shots of Jose Cuervo.

"Let's cheers to something," said Alex excitedly.

"Ok, do the honors," Rob responded.

"No, you're the writer, you should do it," said Alex.

"Ok...how about...to 'guys night'?" asked Rob.

"Sounds great to me!" said Alex as they both downed their shots prompting Rob to grab a lime wedge right away.

"I can't believe you picked tequila! I'm going to be feeling that tomorrow." Rob said before continuing to suck on his lime wedge.

"Come man, I'm off tomorrow. This week has been tough," said Alex.

"Oh yeah? How come?" Rob said throwing the wedge into his pint.

Alex and Rob then shared everything they had been working on as of late. Rob found himself to be completely immersed with Alex's stories, redacted to respect other people's privacy of course. Rob appreciated that Alex listened attentively as he spoke and asked some insightful questions about the writing process and the last articles he had published in various literary magazines.

"I read your last piece," Alex said.

"You did?" asked Rob surprised.

"Yeah, it was really sad. Although the mother and child were reunited at the end, it seemed what they had to go through beings separated like and mistreated by various authority figures would change their relationship."

Rob was impressed Alex got that. Usually, "Under the Same Sky" was seen as a happy ending, but Rob had intended it to be a bittersweet tale that contained bleek portrayals of the permanent harm of institutional abuse. "I'm glad you said that. I thought I didn't hit that theme hard enough as people who read it always find it to be such an uplifting story because of the ending."

"I mean how can they think that?" asked Alex. "Did they not read all the obstacles they had to go through?" Alex then chugged his third Modelo. "Is that how we come off?" asked Alex sadly.

"How who comes off?" asked Rob.

"Law enforcement. It was a pretty damning piece on it."

"Oh Alex, I wasn't writing about you or all police officers. It's just based on a few reports I read."

"I know," said Alex. "It's just, I read those reports too and I hear people's reaction when they find out I'm NYPD. I understand it, but it hurts some times. I went into the force because I was inspired by Lieutenant McQuade. As a kid, you see the police and you just think they're heroes. And then you see how it really is, and it's not like that at all. Sometimes there clearly are good guys and bad guys, but other times, I'm just arresting people for trying to survive."

Rob listened as Alex confessed his mixed feelings working for the force. He understood Alex's complicated feelings, but from what Rob had heard, it sounded like Alex was doing a lot of great work.

After a long pause and another shot, Rob said, "Alex, I think you're a hero."

"Thanks man," said Alex with a modest smile.

"And I know those kids you spoke to this afternoon think you're a hero too."

Alex's smile grew.

"And you know who always thought you were a hero?"

"Who?" asked Alex, even redder from the alcohol now. "Gaby?" Alex laughed.

"Yeah," admitted Rob, "also Tina."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, that came through in some of her letters."

"Wait, what?" Alex excitedly said as he nearly jumped off of his seat. "What did she say?"

"I can't tell you that!" said Rob. "Those are private."

"Come on, man," Alex said, "there are no secrets between Tina and me." Alex said smiling broadly now.

"Well, then she should be the one to tell you. My lips are sealed," said Rob zipping his mouth with his fingers.

Alex groaned as Alex ordered another round of beers.

"Speaking of Tina," Alex said, "how's your love life?"

"What love life?" asked Rob.

"It's been years since I saw you date someone," said Alex.

"Oh, I just haven't thought about it, I guess."

"Dude, you're 25! You should be dating around! Playing the field or at least being a one of those serial monogamous types of whatever - not being a loner."

"Yeah...but I just haven't been in the mood."

"You used to date all kinds of girls, what happened?"

Rob did not want to get into it. "I guess I've just been consumed with my work, I guess."

Alex looked as if he had been contemplating asking something before blurting out, "You like Lenni, don't you?"

"Uh...what makes you think that?" asked Rob shyly.

"You know how you guys used to make fun of Tina and me for being obvious? It's obvious with you two."

"Nobody was as obvious as you and Tina," said Rob laughing.

"No, it is. We just don't talk about it because you and Lenni are way more private. For some reason I was an easier punching bag," Alex said amused. "Man, I really didn't hide my crush on Tina at all didn't I?

Rob laughed. "No, you didn't. But I think a bunch of us were living through you two because we were kids and of course the idea of two of our close friends getting together was like the ONLY thing happening in our social lives. It was exciting," said Rob. "Like a 'will they/won't they' romance unfolding before our eyes."

Alex laughed. "Ok, but back to Lenni."

Rob ordered two more shots. He had intended to share them but realized he downed both. Alex looked surprised at Rob's behavior and started to order club soda for himself as Rob ordered another IPA. During this time, Rob had sent Lenni a message demanding she make her way to the bar.

"How did you figure it out?" Rob asked drunkenly.

"Uh...well, I noticed it the year before Kyle died," Alex said, treading carefully. "I mean I noticed it before that, but it seemed to ramp up during that time."

"Lenni and I did not have an affair if that's what you're asking," Rob declared.

"No, I did not think you two would do that, but I did wonder if Lenni was going to break it off," said Alex.

"Who else thought that?"

"I don't know," said Alex. "I've kept this to myself."

"Well, _hiccup_ , good work detective," said Rob.

"Ok, I think we should get out of here," said Alex.

"No, no, I'm having a good time," said Rob. "Plus, you're off tomorrow, you don't have anything to do."

"Boy, I wish," said Alex. "I plan on finally cleaning my apartment so it can be ready for the party next week, and well..."

"Well, what?" asked Rob.

"Well, I want to make it so that Tina would stay over finally."

"She hasn't stayed over?" asked Rob.

"To be fair, I've been sleeping at the Bodega since I moved in. I haven't had much time to fix it up since I moved. I feel bad, I made Tina sleep over at the Bodega last week when she was so busy, but I couldn't help myself. She's been working overtime to get her movie finished so we could schedule her vacation to match mine next week."

Rob looked at Alex. The way he spoke about Tina was so full of love and longing. He knew the gears inside of Alex's head were spinning. " _He's probably going to propose soon_ ," Rob thought to himself.

"Well, then, let's start _Operation Make Tina Sleep Over_ ," said Rob. "This calls more drinks," said Rob soberer than he appeared.

"This is becoming _Operation Hung Over_ ," chuckled Alex.

Rob laughed. He was truly enjoying himself.

Alex and Rob spent another hour at the bar talking about a wide range of topics and non-sequiturs. Rob ordered more drinks while Alex nursed his club soda - sobering up. Rob had also sent Lenni two more text messages as he became increasingly inebriated. Rob saw Alex send a text sometime after Rob sent his third text. _"How lucky. He's probably texting Tina something lovey-dovey,"_ thought Rob.

Finally, once Rob started slurring his sentences together, Alex grabbed Rob and his messenger bag out of the door being careful to stay in covered areas on the sidewalk in order to not get drenched.

"Hey, we need to pay our tab," Rob stammered nearly running back into the rain towards the bar.

"I already took care of it," said Alex authoritatively and pulled Rob back.

"When?" asked Rob as his lanky frame stumbled towards Alex's more sturdy body.

"When you went to the bathroom that last time," said Alex proudly as he slyly smiled. A trick he learned from years of hanging out with Tina's extended family.

"Not fair!" Rob exclaimed. Rob then vomited into a cardboard box on the curb near another pile of cardboard boxes. "Hey look, that chocolatier has a dumpster in front, fresh shipment!" exclaimed Rob.

"Ok..." laughed Alex.

"I'll get the rounds next time!" demanded Rob.

"Ok," Alex said placating Rob as he was escorting Rob towards a corner.

"Hey, Bushwick is that-a-way!" Rob said thumbing behind him.

"Yeah, but there are cabs are this-a-way," Alex said amused.

Alex carefully put Rob into a green cab after assuring the cab driver that Rob would not vomit inside his car as he had already taken care of business. Rob realized Alex had gotten into the cab with him. Luckily, Rob was conscious enough to tell the cab driver his exact address.

"I'll get the rounds next time..." Rob said sleepily.

"I heard you the first time," Alex said.

"There won't be a next time," Rob said matter-of-factly as he was leaning on Alex's shoulder.

"What do you mean, man?" asked a perplexed Alex.

"I embarrassed myself...you probably won't want to hang out with me again," Rob said sadly. "Don't worry, I don't blame you."

_Good things never last._

Rob looked down at the taxi floor.

"Rob..." Alex said compassionately.

Rob then started crying. He did not know why he was crying, but he could not control himself any longer. Rob really wanted to be close with his friends. This night made him realize how much he wanted to have a meaningful friendship with Alex all of this time. Not just Alex, but everyone else on the team too.

Then, Rob felt Alex's arm squeeze his body closer to his.

"It's alright, man. Let it out. It feels good. I've done it many times before," said Alex, "You gotta let it out."

"Let what out?" shrieked the cab driver.

"Nothing!" shouted Alex fully serious and taking no prisoners. Rob observed how Alex's face quickly went from the man version of the jovial boy he knew to fully hardened exuding an intimidating grand sense of authority. He had never seen that face before.

Although the driver was well within his rights to kick them out, one look at Alex Fernandez's face communicated to the driver that it'd be in his best interest to simply keep driving.

"Rob, I don't know if this will help, but, you're my _brother_. I always thought of you that way. Sorry for not looking out for my brother the way I should have. Besides, you became friends with me...after I angrily confronted you thinking you were the guy who was running a smear campaign against me in 7th grade. Remember that? We almost got into a fist fight." Alex smiled down at Rob who had been leaning completely on him.

Rob smiled through his tear-soaked face and quietly allowed himself to take Alex's comfort. "Thanks, man."

Alex helped Rob get out of the cab, and then fished for Rob's keys in that messed up messenger bag to open the front door to the vestibule of his apartment building. After trying three different keys, Alex finally got inside the vestibule. As Rob semi-consciously leaned against the wall only being held up by one of Alex's arms, Alex opened the interior door. After telling Alex his unit number, Alex wrapped Rob's arms around his shoulders and neck and told Rob to "hang on tight" as Alex made his way up to the 4th floor of Rob's walk-up apartment.

* * *

**THE NEXT MORNING**

As Rob groggily got ready for the day, he saw a text from both Lenni and Alex. Lenni had asked him if he wanted to have dinner with her that night. Alex sent him a panicked text stating that he was overwhelmed and did not realize how much work he had to do with the apartment. He told Rob that he needed help with re-arranging all the crap that was in it, and asked if Rob was available to help out.

Rob smiled at the messages, and he texted affirmatively to both questions. Rob wished he could say that he forgot what happened the night before, but he remembered it all. But he later would be glad that whatever happened the night before would stay between _brothers_ forever. After that night, he and Alex texted regularly with one another and both made time to hang out one-on-one from then on out.

* * *

**THAT AFTERNOON**

Rob spent a few hours at Alex's new apartment, helping him unpack a never-ending number of books; install a shower curtain; buy some basic toiletries; unbox some kitchen equipment his mother packed for him; put together a table, a desk, and a chair; helped Alex arrange some furniture that made sense with the space; and to accommodate the upcoming dinner party.

While there, Rob mentioned to Alex that he was having dinner with Lenni that night. Alex politely did not force Rob to speak more about his feelings for Lenni than he had wanted, fighting the urge to delve deeper. Rob did ask Alex some basic questions about how he should conduct himself with Lenni given what he knew about how he felt about her.

"Thank goodness, you're asking advice from me instead of Jamal," laughed Alex.

* * *

**THAT EVENING**

Rob had spotted Lenni outside Nobou's Noodle Bar holding her large black umbrella. He wondered how long she had been waiting for him. The rain from yesterday did not let up today. Alex apologized for not offering him an umbrella because his only umbrella was at the Bodega.

"Hey," said a soaked Rob.

Lenni burst out laughing. "Rob, it's been raining all day, how did you not dress appropriately?"

Rob simply shrugged his shoulders and laughed.

After Rob went to the bathroom to dry off, he and Lenni decided to sit at the bar instead of a two-seater. After the initial pleasantries and ordering, they sat side-by-side at a noodle bar wordlessly enjoying the smell of ramen. This was the perfect meal to eat on a wet, cold day like this.

Once their ramen arrived, Rob absent-mindedly scooped up his two halves of a boiled egg and put them in Lenni's bowl before he started his ramen. Eating with Lenni was incredibly congenial. He remembered Alex telling him not to force it and just do what felt right for the both of them. Essentially, he told Rob to stop living in his head and just act. Ironically, acting first is what Rob was known for during the time he and team were playing junior detectives with Ghostwriter.

Rob was feeling famished after spending a few hours doing laborious work with Alex. He certainly did not stop and think with his noodles. He just allowed himself to savor every slurp. He knew the chefs here loved to hear their customers slurping on their noodles. They were the OG Japanese chefs.

As Rob was enjoying his noodles, he felt as though Lenni was looking at him. He was not sure if that was the case, but was too afraid to look to see if that was the case. He just concentrated on his noodles, or what was left of it.

After leaving the noodle bar, Rob wondered if he had time to catch the bus as they were already near the bus stop or if it would be faster to take the subway going East to Bushwick. After looking at the bus schedule, and a sign that stated that the B54 line would only run every half hour to forty-five minutes this week, he realized taking the G and then the M train would be faster if more annoying.

"You know, I don't mind waiting for the bus actually, since we're already at the stop," Rob said.

Rob was getting drenched again as this bus stop did not provide any covered seating. He instinctively moved closer to Lenni and hunched down to fit under her umbrella.

"I'll wait with you then," said Lenni.

Rob was surprised. He was hoping she'd say that. In fact, he only said he would wait for the bus in the off chance she would say that. Rob suddenly felt embarrassed.

"You don't have to do that," he said. He was not sure why he started rubbing the back of his head, but he needed something to do with his antsy hands.

"And let you get wet? Get real," declared Lenni who Rob observed was staring out into the street at both directions seeing if the bus was coming.

 _Oh man,_ Rob thought, _I'm inconveniencing her._

Rob did not know what to do other than chuckle.

 _What a great response,_ Rob thought sarcastically.

Seeing Lenni hold the umbrella made Rob realize he was not being chivalrous.

Rob grabbed Lenni's umbrella. This was also a much smarter way to ensure both of them would be covered since he was much taller than Lenni. Rob wanted to make sure Lenni was completely covered and did not mind getting a little wet.

As they were standing side-by-side, Rob thought to himself how he could make this wait more enjoyable for Lenni. What could they talk about to fill the dead air. Luckily, one hand was holding the umbrella because he was getting nervous again and when he was nervous, his hands get a little antsy. Rob was the type to move around when he felt nervous.

Then Rob felt his free hand brush past Lenni's hand. Before he could play it off as an accident and completely ignoring it happened, Lenni interlocked her fingers into his.

Rob could not believe it. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Was Lenni finally ready to talk about the elephant in the room? They had grown close since they first met as kids. It seemed the only thing stopping them was the fact that they went through years of separation.

Then as they reunited, Rob did not feel comfortable enough to allow himself to invite any member of the team back in, not even Lenni despite the fact that she had been the easiest to reconnect with. But their signals somehow got crossed and they ended up dating other people and then be stuck with other people when the other was single and available. They were never single at the same time. Then Lenni met Kyle and he saw first-hand how much love and how much passion there was between them.

Rob thought that had been it. Rob and Lenni never interacted the way she and Kyle had. They were so hot for each other that they were engaged practically months after their relationship had started. But as their relationship wore on, he and Lenni found themselves getting closer with one another again.

It wasn't the same fiery passion Lenni had with Kyle, but it seemed grounded and real. Rob started to think Lenni felt more comfortable with Rob and preferred his company. Sometime during Lenni and Kyle's engagement, Rob decided he was going to take action. He was ready to take a risk and make a move, throwing away all his complexes and hesitation until Kyle unexpectedly died. That sent both him and Lenni on an emotional tailspin.

Every complex and insecurity Rob had about intimacy came flooding back. After a period of them avoiding each other, they slowly became close friends again. Except, they were the kind of close friends who seldom saw each other except when there was a reason. Then in the past few months, Lenni started inviting Rob over to hang out, usually at the last minute. Rob did not care as he would drop what he was doing and oblige. And to be fair, Rob would do the same thing. Inexplicably, Rob felt it was safer to ask her to hang out at the last minute as if he had just thought about it right then and there as opposed to looking like he had been planning to hang out with her and desired to do so for some time.

Last night, Alex ascertained that the reason Rob had not dated anyone in about two years was because he had been waiting for Lenni. He was right. Usually, people would find Rob's behavior pretty pathetic. In some ways, Rob felt pathetic. But did that matter? This afternoon, Alex told Rob that you have to let go of pride and ego some times.

Now here they were, Lenni interlocking her fingers into his.

Then Lenni let go looking embarrassed. _Oh God._ Rob panicked. Did he had misread the situation as per usual? _So, Lenni did not mean to do that._ Rob felt like a house just fell on him.

Rob decided to see Lenni's reaction. Maybe she will explain herself or they could just laugh about what had just happened. He hoped they could just laugh it off. _How embarrassing._

As Rob turned towards Lenni, he saw she was avoiding any eye contact with him and was actually avoiding looking at his direction. In fact, she shifted away from him to the point where she was getting wet on one side. He also saw that she was shuffling her feet.

 _That's it then,_ Rob thought. _The elephant in the room_.

_Good things never last._

They quietly stood side-by-side for what felt like an eternity.

Rob then noticed he and Lenni had moved closer together. It wasn't just he who moved closer to her, but she had actually scooted up to him. Rob could not take it anymore. He decided to risk it. He could not take any more of this uncertainty. If she was going to reject him, he needed to know now so that he could move on, as much as that would hurt. He felt a sudden confidence that even if she rejected him, their friendship would somehow be able to withstand it. He never felt that confident before.

Rob was going to ask Lenni about it, but he was tired of using words. He had to do something to make Lenni give him some sort of answer one way or the other.

With that in mind, Rob decided to interlock his fingers with Lenni's. Rob suppressed any feelings of regret or embarrassment rising in him as his fingers stayed in this position.

Lenni then locked her fingers with his tightly as the rain continued to spill.

They must have looked like two nervous kids, wondering if one "liked liked" the other. That behavior was embarrassing for two twenty-five-year-olds, but Rob didn't care. Sometimes, the kids had the right idea.

Rob smiled as Lenni playfully pressed herself towards him. He then scooted even closer. Both of them were completely covered by the umbrella now.

Rob allowed himself to feel the rain drop upon his free palm. The water felt warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this one. I think this was my favorite chapter to write since the Prologue and probably as much fun to write as my one-shot Tina/Alex FF Crimson and Clover. Now that one fun because it was just me living my Alex/Tina shipper fantasies and seeing how many Easter Eggs I could put in there like Victor Torres appearances and Jeffrey Baxter/Lana Barnes mentions.
> 
> I have to say that Rob was really easy to write. He seriously lends himself to the writer, I find.
> 
> Speaking of which, now that I'm sharing, I actually had the most trouble writing the previous chapter and figuring out where I was going with it. That may explain why it took so long for me to work on it and to upload it. Honestly, I find Lenni the most difficult to write because I think she has such a distinctive voice that isn't close to my own that I have to really be in that headspace to do her the justice she deserves. I also have a suspicion I'm going to have trouble writing Casey as well because I am NOT a comedy writer whatsoever, and I want to do right by her when it comes to the funny. Tina and Alex come the easiest to me.
> 
> The next chapter will be about Hector. I know Hector isn't the most popular GW character, but I am inspired by this chapter because I think I have a lot of freedom to create him in my mind and I want him to win you guys over! Plus, I find it fitting that a Hector chapter would come after a Rob chapter. ;)
> 
> Also, don't worry, this whole FF won't just be individualized chapters devoted to one character. I have an outline that is shakes up the team dynamics and combinations. It's just that this is the start of the FF so it makes sense to have character chapters to slowly introduce themselves to us as they are in the twenties.
> 
> Speaking of which, trying to get back to the mindset of people in their mid-20s is hard. Especially ones living through the mid-2000s. I lived through my early twenties in the mid-to-late 2000s, and it would have been a lot easier had I finished this FF then.
> 
> The biggest challenge was researching how Brooklyn and New York in general was actually like in the mid-2000s. I moved to NYC in 2012 and now live here (in Brooklyn actually!), but I know it wasn't the same then as it is now as gentrification has changed everything so much and so rapidly. On that note, I hope Rob is still living in Bushwick in 2019 because he would have gotten into that neighborhood when the rent was still actually affordable and rent stabilization would probably allow him to have an affordable rate even in 2019 Bushwick. Maybe we'll see where he and the others end up in 2019! No promises.
> 
> So since I had some trouble getting back to the mid-2000s groove, if you guys see some anachronisms, please forgive them and pretend they were intentional and please be flexible about them. An issue about trying to remember the mid-2000s is that it feels like we've always had things like smartphones, social media, YouTube, etc. when in actuality, all the things we enjoy now were only released in the past five-to-ten years and this story is basically taking place 14-15 years ago! So keep that in mind when we talk about Hector in the next chapter and there may be some outdated talk about same-sex marriage rights. Remember when that was a serious debate? Now it seems it has always been a recognized right.
> 
> Till next time!


	6. Chapter 5: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hector Carrero wades through his first few weeks of law school, adapting to this new circus and a colorful cast of characters. Experience one week of the life of Hector, lawyer-in-training as he gets through vicious cold calls from professors, avoids sleep to complete the packed workload, makes connections with new friends, deals with an antagonistic classmate, and possibly discovers a first love.

_In a gadda da vida, honey_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'm lovin' you_

_In a gadda da vida, baby_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'll always be true_

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And take my hand_ _  
_ _Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And walk this land_

_Please take my hand_

_In a gadda da vida, honey_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'm lovin' you_

_In a gadda da vida, baby_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'll always be true_

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And take my hand_ _  
_ _Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And walk this land_

_Please take my hand_

\- Iron Butterfly

**FALL 2005**

**MONDAY**

2 Ct Square W, Long Island City, NY, 3rd Floor Atrium

"Dios Mio! Why did I even go to law school?" cried Hector as he was doing some last-minute cramming for the Contracts class coming in thirty minutes. "This class is awful. All we do is go in and then leave even more confused than we were before."

"Calm down, you got this," said Mina.

"Yeah, just remember, there are only six types of contracts that the Statute of Frauds ("SOF") deals with," added Lawrence, "they are certain contracts that have to be memorialized in writing, so just think about what situations would it make sense where you need to have a written contract rather than an oral one."

"Right, so they are...," said Sujata encouragingly.

"Ok, ok...I know this one...one has something to do with marriage. Marriage, right? Like you can't have a marriage contract unless it's written! That's the answer!" Hector said feeling quite proud of himself.

"Contracts under which one party promises something of value to the other party on the condition that they become married," said Jae-Sun blankly.

"Wow, that's like the first time I heard you say something all semester," Hector said sarcastically. Hector wondered why Jae-Sun was even sitting at their table, as he was not a part of their study group. In fact, Jae-Sun was not part of any study group as far as he could tell.

Jae-Sun just shrugged his shoulders. Hector couldn't help but notice the black dragon-style tattoos on Jae-Sun's right arm. He wondered if it was full sleeve.

Hector had a few unpleasant interactions with Jae-Sun in the past. Every time Hector spoke, it seemed Jae-Sun would have some one-lined blunt response. Plus, Jae-Sun spoke in an unnaturally robotic manner. Hector would characterize it as stilted. At times, it seemed Jae-Sun revealed a not-so-hidden animosity towards him as he would always provide Hector with unsolicited corrections. Sometimes Jae-Sun would be wrong, which Hector could not help but gloat about when it did happen. To be fair, he did that after the sixth time Jae-Sun had attempted to correct him. It was not just the corrections that were bothersome, but his whole demeanor towards Hector seemed antagonistic from the start.

"Anyways," interrupted Kelly, "what else?" Kelly clearly already knew the answers, but she had some strange need to play teacher. Not that Hector was complaining because he benefitted from it.

"It has to do with time," added Maher.

"Oh right, contracts that cannot be completed within one year," added Hector.

"That's right!" beamed Sujata. She then hugged Hector. It was a bit much for a Monday morning but Hector appreciated it. He and Sujata became fast friends on the first day of classes.

"A sale of an interest in land," added Jae-Sun.

"Jae-Sun! This is for Hector to answer," said Mina admonishing Jae-Sun.

Jae-Sun just shrugged his shoulders dismissing Mina and continued to slouch on his chair.

"Ok, that too," added Hector. "And... oh this is UCC (the Uniform Commercial Code) related! Sale of Goods...at $500 or more!"

"Above $500," added Jae-Sun.

Mina stared daggers at Jae-Sun.

"Correct," added Kelly looking at Jae-Sun. "What else, Hector?"

"What's that word when someone promises to pay a debt for another person?"

Before Jae-Sun could answer, Sujata gave Jae-Sun a look that said "shut it."

"A surely? I don't know why I said that. I know that's not the actual word. "

"A surety," responded Kelly matter-of-factly. Kelly then added, "it is something most of us never dealt with, so we have to just hammer that term in our heads."

"I'm sure we will with all these loans," said a new voice. It was Oliver Bradford. "Ollie" had been the object of Hector's infatuation since they met at orientation. Hector remembered that Ollie had told Hector that he only went to law school because his parents forced him to either get a real job or get some sort of "useful" graduate degree.

As Hector gotten to know Ollie better, he was sure that Ollie could have went to a higher-tiered law school as he did not have to worry about tuition or debt. The City University of New York School of Law (CUNY) had one of the lowest tuitions of all the American Bar Association-accredited law schools in the country which made it appealing for many of the students who came from less privileged backgrounds and did not receive much in the way of financial aid anywhere else. It also had a focus on public interest. All of those factors led Hector to turn down higher ranked schools like Cardozo and Fordham and accept a position here.

Hector would later find out that Ollie went to CUNY as some sort of rebellious act against his parents for giving him an ultimatum. To say this put him in many of the other students' bad graces, would be an understatement. They felt he basically insulted their school. It did not help that Ollie seemed so lackadaisical about the whole law school experience that it would make those who were busting their asses off even more resentful.

Ollie and Hector, with the rest of his study group and unfortunately Jae-Sun were in the same track so they had all of the same classes together. For some reason Ollie stuck with Hector throughout orientation leading them to hang out at the local Irish bar, Randy's the first night. Then when classes started, Ollie simply sat next to Hector for every class. This led them to hang out during what little free time they had throughout the day. Except for Thursday nights where they and other law students would hang at Randy's, Ollie would drive back to his family's house in Queensboro Hills. Hector had never been there but remembered seeing its name on exit signs when he would accompany Tina and Alex on their trips to Flushing Chinatown, one of Hector's favorite spots.

Ollie sat on the arm of the chair Hector had been sitting in. Ollie gave Hector an encouraging smile. Hector did not quite appreciate the loan joke because: 1) it hit close to home as Hector took out some big loans despite Hector getting a full scholarship for living expenses, and 2) Ollie did not have any loans and paid his tuition upfront.

Ollie was not part of Hector's study group but he would be always be around, not really offering any help.

"Ahem!" coughed Kelly.

"Oh...um..." Hector stammered. He did not want to get on Kelly's bad side. She was already pressing him for his portion of outlines that he owed the study group. Law school outlines were basically one's treatise on a course to help prepare a law student for their exam at the end of the semester...a multi-hour (three-to-five hours-long) exam that literally determined your final grade in the course. Study groups often worked on their outlines together to divvy up the painstaking work.

Hector continued, "Something to do with an estate's debt. A promise to pay an estate's debt from the personal funds of that estate's executor!"

Hector initially thought Jae-Sun had a somewhat impressed look on his face which turned out to be more of a neutral expression when Hector inspected closer.

Sujata did not have a neutral expression, but was rather surprised that he got that one right with such precision. He loved her, but at this moment he preferred Jae-Sun's company.

"I knew you could do it!" Ollie exclaimed as he slapped Hector on the back offering him a megawatt smile.

"Ow!"

"Ok," Kelly interrupted. "Now let's go over the essential terms the written agreements must include in order to adequately satisfy the SOF."

The whole group groaned.

"I prefer the SOL," said Hector referring to statute of limitations.

"You won't once you practice," answered Jae-Sun. Jae-Sun then looked at Hector straight in the eyes and added, " _you_ could hit issues with malpractice because of SOL."

Hector gave Jae-Sun a mean mug of all mean mugs.

The group headed to class after their impromptu study session.

"I just hope Professor Goldberg doesn't go on about 'selling his watch' again to start this lecture. I swear, I'm sick of looking at his watch," said Mina.

"Isn't this class _gross_? I always feel like his lectures are an introduction to something, but we never get into what that 'something' is," replied Hector.

"I just don't pay attention," said Ollie.

"Is that why you didn't answer when he called on you yesterday?" asked Sujata.

"There are three tracks in that class...that's like 90 people. I think I can get away with it," said Ollie.

"Doubtful," said Maher.

"Yeah, Ollie. You're going to have to start taking this seriously. Otherwise you're going to be at risk of failing," said Hector. "The next time they call your name, just answer and try to say something. I do that even when I don't know the answer."

Jae-Sun just shrugged his shoulders. "It don't matter, the final exam is the only thing that matters anyway." Jae-Sun then walked into class before everyone else and took his seat in the back row.

"Did he just say 'it _don_ ' _t_ matter'?" asked Lawrence.

Hector swore he heard a totally different accent from the one Jae-Sun had been using all semester. It sounded closer to those Korean gangsta dudes he'd hear talking in K-Town. That reminded Hector that he was craving Korean BBQ.

"Whatever he said, he's right about one thing," said Kelly. "Our entire grade is based on that final exam. So, because of that, Hector, we really need those sections of the outline or you're out of the study group," Kelly said before she confidently strode into Contracts.

Hector gulped. Sujata gave Hector a sympathetic look but it was obvious she agreed with Kelly.

Later that night, Hector painstakingly worked on his outlines for hours before emailing them to the rest of the group. Kelly thanked them for his sections but criticized them for being too long. She then "asked" him to summarize the points so that they were not just copy and paste jobs from his lecture notes. She gave him another deadline.

"What a gunner," Hector said. Hector then checked his syllabus to see what cases he had to re-read for Torts, Property, and Criminal Law for tomorrow. He was then reminded of his legal research and writing (LRW) assignment that was due that Friday. This was all overwhelming.

Three hours of reading and case briefing later, at around 1:00 am, Hector was preparing for bed when he received a text from Alex.

A: Get some sleep!

H: Y did u think I was awake?

A: bc you are always awake.

H: tru

A: go to bed!

Hector crashed onto his bed and pulled his blanket over himself. The dorm mattress was incredibly uncomfortable and made a crunchy noise every time he moved. He could hear his roommate get out of his room to use the restroom. There was one bathroom for four students sharing this suite. At least they all had their own bedrooms. Hector then imagined himself living in an apartment off-campus next year. Maybe he could move in with Ollie. Ollie would seem down have a roommate.

Hector then imagined living with Ollie. He imagined a scenario where one day, he and Ollie would hang out watching TV after a particularly long day and then one thing leading to another. Hector pictured himself acting all shy and nervous with a confident Ollie deciding to put his arm around his shoulders. Then Hector imagined Ollie's beautiful blond locks brushing against his cheeks as he stared into Ollie's piercing blue eyes. Hector could smell the masculine-scented cologne Ollie usually wore. Ollie would then cusp Hector's face and dive in for a long and romantic kiss.

Hector squealed under his covers, and tried to sleep with that beautiful image.

* * *

**TUESDAY**

After two morning sessions, Hector sat in the 1st floor atrium enjoying an overpriced turkey sandwich and a bottle of zero calorie iced green tea as he red-marked the third draft of his LRW assignment he had printed. This class was giving Hector the most trouble and insecurity.

Although Hector's writing had come a long way since he first moved to New York, he was still plagued by some structural issues with his sentences. He would still write certain sentences as if they were in Spanish and not use adjectives or adverbs in the correct order. This was actually a problem in all of his classes. Even though Hector worked hard to speak English as a native speaker, when he would get nervous or rush, remnants of his original accent would come out including the manner of speech and mispronunciation.

During one particularly long cold call in Contracts, Hector's Nuyorican accent came out due to Hector simply being worn down by being in the intense line of questioning for nearly twenty minutes, causing him to mispronounce some words. This prompted Professor Goldberg to address the class and say that although he understood that there were some "non-native English speakers in his class", he recommended they work harder on their English because if they did not then their grade would suffer since all law school exams were legal writing exercises.

His Property professor, Cara Szabo told Hector to not say "sorry" so much when speaking, which caused Hector to say "sorry" in response. She also told him to speak slower and to repeat words so he would more consistently nail the pronunciation. He had no idea his pronunciation still needed this much work. He thought those days were behind him as college seemed to affirm his belief that he made strides in that department.

After one particular Criminal Law class, he overheard his classmates comment that they would never misspell the word "statute" again thanks to the way Hector had accidentally pronounced it as "stah-toot" when he volunteered to answer a question. That one particularly hurt as Hector knew how to pronounce that word correctly. It was just that he was rushing to answer Professor Ingles' rapid-fire questions, and it just came out. The last thing he wanted to happen was for Professor Ingles to shake her head and move on to another student when they took too long to answer or when they did not give her the answers she was looking for. Having that happen in her class became a badge of shame among the students.

Despite all of this, Hector was eager to push forward and would volunteer to answer questions. He could not give up! Sometimes he would get it wrong, but the professor would prod him along for long enough that he would either get the right answer or they would use it as a teaching opportunity that would benefit the entire class. He did pride himself that when the professors asked for specific facts of the case – such as whether the defendant was driving a truck or a sedan in a case where that detail had nothing to do with anything - Hector's experience in solving mysteries with the Ghostwriter team prepared him well to catch those small details.

Hector enjoyed his time in undergrad as a student with a high grade point average who even was able to receive "As" in his English classes. However, the amount of work and the very little time one had in the day here made Hector become much sloppier than he was used to being. He also realized that he was at a disadvantage even in this Tier 4 school where Hector was far from being alone as being a child of an immigrant(s) (technically, Hector was not a child of immigrants since Puerto Ricans are Americans) or was far from being only student who was the first one in his family to even go to college much less law school. Despite being exposed to all sorts of things thanks to being part of the Ghostwriter team, and having a great mentor in Alex and having friends who valued education like Tina, Jamal, and Gaby, Hector was not on the level of many of his fellow classmates. Almost everyone who attended law school had been star students at their colleges, and a few weeks into the semester made him realize that, unlike there, he would not be a star student here.

That did not matter to him though. He decided to continue to fight his way through the material and get the most he can out of this education. It was an opportunity most did not receive and opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.

As Hector bit into his sandwich, spilling crumbs on his third draft of his LRW assignment, Hector looked up and saw Ollie speaking to Sujata. Ollie was making Sujata laugh at something he said. _Of course he would,_ Hector thought. Seeing Ollie flirt with Sujata hurt.

Hector focused his gaze on Sujata. She was a beautiful Indian girl with big, bold eyes and long, thick, dark brown hair. She had a look that would stop most guys in class. Plus, the "law school goggles" made everyone attractive. You see the same small class of people every day for many hours. This insularity resulted in many hook-ups and also made the gossip mill run rampant. _Law school was much closer to high school than it was to college in that regard_ , Hector thought.

Hector saw Kelly entering the building looking tall and confident. _She was going to be a star student,_ Hector sighed. He was happy she was in his study group and was patient with him. He felt that the other students must have considered him to be an idiot.

"Hey, Hector, mind if I sit here?" Maher asked.

"Sure," Hector said. "Let me know if I'm taking up too much space on the table."

"No, it's fine, I just need a place to sit while I wait for my meeting with my 'buddy'," he replied.

During orientation, all the 1Ls (first year law students) were paired up with a 2L (second year) or 3L (third year) who would be assigned as their "buddy". They were supposed to help guide and mentor the 1Ls throughout their law school run and be possible network connections once they were out in the real world. Hector's buddy was not too interested in mentoring anyone. He was not alone as the second year of law school is considered the busiest year while the third-year law students are too distracted by trying to secure a job after graduation. To be fair, Hector could have been better at following up.

"How is your assignment coming along?" asked Maher.

Hector was not sure if Maher was truly interested or if he needed to see how his progress on it compared to Hector's. Law school made people competitive, even the nice ones.

"It's coming along, but I'm having trouble synthesizing the case law. It just looks like I'm doing it too step-by-step and there has to be a better way for me to implement my facts and application without me just repeating everything so much.

"That's my problem too," Maher responded. "My paper just reads sloppily. This really is a different style of writing. I hate it."

Hector looked at Maher who seemed upset.

"I loved writing essays and poetry in college," added Maher. "But this sort of writing is so technical and soulless. No wonder my LRW instructor said English majors do worse in this class than Engineers. That's why I'm meeting with my 'buddy'. He's going to give me copies of his papers. He got an 'A' in LRW. Would you like me to make you a copy as well?"

"That would be great!" Hector said a little too excitedly. "Thank you!"

Maher offered him a genuine smile. "Don't mention it. I want all of us in our study group to do well."

"Hey guys," said Mina. Before Hector and Maher could say anything, Mina grabbed an empty seat from across the room and pushed it towards Hector's table. "I am so behind on the Torts readings. Is everything we do about negligence?"

"Yeah," answered Hector. "Looking at the syllabus, we won't get into strict liability or intentional torts until the last weeks of the semester, so like 80% of it is on negligence."

"I feel like Property is so many doctrines but not too many cases on each while Torts is only like one doctrine but a thousand cases with all these differences and exceptions," said Mina. "I hate Torts so much! I much prefer Contracts."

Hector was actually pretty good at Torts, but hated Contracts. "If you want, maybe this weekend, I can help you go over some Torts while you can drill some Contracts into my skull."

"Deal!" exclaimed Mina. "I was hoping you'd say that. You are really good at Torts."

"No, I'm not," said Hector.

"Stop with this false modesty bullshit; it'll get you nowhere," said Mina. "Anyway, you better be good at Torts if you're helping me go over it."

Hector was not sure if Mina was joking.

"No, you are good at Torts. For one thing, you always have some come back or answer when Professor Morales calls on you, and you think outside the box when it comes to hypotheticals." Maher stated.

Hector blushed a little at that compliment.

"Learn to take a compliment already."

Hector turned to see who said that, and it was Jae-Sun who was sitting at the table nearby.

"Nobody asked you," said Mina.

Hector stuck his tongue out. Mina and Maher looked at Hector as if he had two heads. Hector did not mean to something so juvenile - it just happened.

" _Touché_ ," said Jae-Sun who went back to going over what Hector saw as his immaculately drafted and color-coded case briefs for the next class.

Hector turned and looked at Ollie and Sujata who were sitting together at a table in the corner near the café. They seemed intimate and deep into conversation.

"Anybody going to that alumni mixer on Friday night?" asked Lawrence who had just walked up to the table.

"I think most of us in our study have to since Dean Machado said students from the minority student program had to come."

Hector glanced at Ollie and Sujata's way as they got up from their table and seemed headed to more secluded spot. Hector lamented not having had a chance speak to Ollie outside of class that day.

* * *

**WEDNESDAY**

_What a long day!_

Hector plopped down on his couch. Hector learned to hate Wednesdays. It was his long day. Four full classes, a minority student program seminar, an LRW teacher assistant lecture, and a study group meeting. It was 8 pm and Hector had to go over the case briefs he worked on last night to prepare for Thursday. At least his LRW assignment was on its fourth draft and looking better after Maher gave him copies of his buddy's papers.

Just then Hector heard his phone buzz. Casey had sent him a text.

C: Knock, Knock!

H: Who's there?

C: Cow says.

H: Cow says who?

C: No, a cow says moooo!

H: lol

C: Ugh!

H: what?

C: I hate it when people say 'lol'.

H: y?

C: bc ppl only say dat when dey got nuthin else to say

H: but I rly lol 4realz

C: rly?

H: ya

C: that wasn't even funny

H: I thought it was

C: Law school really does kill ur sense of humor.

H: Si, senorita.

Hector then had enough of texting (it was the days before keyboards on phones) and called Casey.

Casey and Hector updated each other on their lives. Casey said she was busy preparing to travel back to Chicago before her quarter started. She said found upper-level classes easier than the introductory ones during her Junior just because she knew more now and liked focusing on the more specialized topics, and hoped Senior year would prove to be the same way. Hector said that was exactly how he found college.

As he spoke to her, Hector found that he was downplaying law school and not giving Casey the full extent of what he was doing by keeping it vague. It was hard to explain the rigors of law school to those who were not in it.

Casey notified him that she would be coming to New York during Christmas break but would not be in New York on Christmas day, as she would be spending it with her family in Detroit. Hector begged her to stay for Christmas. Hector and Casey always had so much fun.

After the phone call, Hector realized how much he missed Casey and "real life". He forgot what the outside world was like.

Hector turned on his laptop and checked his emails. He saw a group email from Tina:

**From: Tina Nguyen tnguyen82 gmail**

**To: Lenni Frazier LenniFrazierMusic hotmail; Gaby Fernandez galaxygirlgaby msn ; Rob Baker BakerBoySkateAuthor yahoo; Hector Carrero hcarrero . edu ; Casey Austin caust04 uchicago. edu; Jamal Jenkins DoubleJBlackBelt yahoo ; Alejandro Fernandez .fernandez aol**

**Subject: Rally A**

**Hey all,**

**Just reminding you that the party is next Friday night, September 23, 2005 at 8:00pm.**

**Alex's address is**

**272 Prospect Place, Apt. 3A** **  
** **Brooklyn, NY 11238**

**Don't feel obligated to bring anything. We'll be having cha gio (spring rolls); mi xiao don (egg noodles in a bird's nest with seafood and pork); bun cha gio thit nuong (vermicelli noodles served with spring rolls and barbecue pork with vegetarian options); and goi cuon (summer rolls both with meat and a vegetarian option with tofu). We will have beer (probably Modelo) and some liquor (whiskey, vodva, and tequila).**

**Casey and Jamal, I know you guys can't make it since you'll be in Chicago and Houston, respectively, but feel free to video chat in!**

**If you are bringing other people, please let me know so we can have enough chairs or cushions on the floor, lol.**

**I'm making a playlist to play at the party. If you want to recommend songs to put on there, please let me know (Lenni!).**

**We should have some board games as well, but if you want to bring some other games, go ahead (Gaby!).**

**If there's anything else you guys think we should have, please feel free to reply.**

**See you soon!**

**Tina Nguyen** **  
** **Director** **  
** **Creative Artists Agency** **  
** **(917) 555-6347 (t)** **  
** **(917) 555-6348 (f)**

**Contact: Sandra Nakano, agent, CAA at or at (212) 555-7627 for bookings.**

_That seems to be a lot of work,_ Hector thought. Hector shot a quick reply asking if she needed help with the cooking to which Tina quickly replied she had everything under control and to not worry. She then added to just concentrate on studying hard and finishing as much work as he could so he can enjoy the party. _That's so Tina_.

Suddenly Hector saw a reply from Rob that read:

**What? No cute message for me, T?**

**You can bring a ramp to do skateboard tricks if you want. Also, who do you think those vegetarian dishes were for? Certainly not Alex.** Tina replied.

 **Hey!** Alex replied.

 **I'm bringing Calvin Ferguson.** Gaby replied.

 **You can if you want to see a homicide before your very eyes.** Alex answered.

 **I don't mind you doing that to Calvin.** Gaby responded.

 **I meant yours. :p.** Alex replied.

 **[At the scene of a murder]** **  
****Cop 1: This seems racially motivated.** **  
****Cop 2: Hate crime?** **  
****Cop 1: Of course I hate crime, moron. That's why I'm a cop.** Casey replied.

 **Reading that joke made me feel like I was just hate crimed.** replied Jamal.

 **I'm bringing Janice Hall.** Gaby replied.

 **Uh oh, she's coming after LJ Bad!** Hector replied.

 **I CANNOT believe you guys chose that name.** Rob replied.

 **She's hacking into our email thread right now.** Lenni replied.

 **Speaking of hacking, did you hear John McAfee is accused of murder?** **  
****The trial will last 30 days.** Casey responded.

 **STOP!** Begged Jamal.

 **In the name of love.** Replied Lenni.

 **Good suggestion.** Replied Tina.

 **I'm bringing Gooey Gus.** Replied Gaby.

 **You laughing at me?** Replied Casey.

 **Not with those jokes.** Replied Jamal.

This went on for another hour and a half ending with this somber exchange:

 **Please don't feel obligated to bring anything. See you soon!** Mocked Alex.

 **Grrr.** Tina replied.

 **I'm bringing Ghostwriter.** Gaby replied.

Nobody responded after that.

 _Holy shit! I need to work on this paper!_ Hector thought, panicking.

Hector woke up to his roommate lightly shaking him and telling him to go to bed. Hector groggily woke up and realized he fell asleep on the couch.

"Thanks Steve," said Hector.

"No problem," Steve, a 2L, replied. "I wish I could tell you it'll get easier, but..."

"I know, I know."

Charles, another 2L, exited out of his room and see what the commotion was about. "Oh man, fell asleep on the couch with your Blue Book (book of proper formatting and citations for legal writing) on your lap? I did that about five times my first year."

Just then Ahmed, a 3L, Hector's third roommate entered the dorm. "You won't believe what Professor Zhou made me do. I just spent six hours transcribing a two-hour interview she conducted. She made me make sure I transcribed every grunt and noise I heard!" Ahmed was Professor Zhou's research assistant. He loved working for her but sometimes the work was tedious. However, he received a federal clerkship scheduled to start right after bar exam out of it thus saving Ahmed a year's worth stress and worry regarding employment. "Oh man, falling asleep on the couch with your Blue Book. Nice!"

Hector then received a text from Alex telling him to go to bed.

* * *

**THURSDAY**

"Hector, you look awful."

"Thanks Kelly," Hector mumbled not raising his head from the table.

"I guess you won't want to go over _Lucy v. Zehmer_ before class, then."

Hector groaned.

After his classes, Hector headed straight to the library computer lab where he saw a good number of 1Ls also working on their LRW assignment due tomorrow.

After three hours and painstakingly going over every blue book citation and double checking to ensure it matched the correct format, checking his margins, his font (courier new!) to make sure the spacing was correct (every line can only have a certain number of characters and every page can only have a certain number of lines) and that is English was "good", Hector had enough. He was done. He did not even care anymore. He printed his assignment and put it into his folder.

"Hector!"

In front of him stood Ollie with his million-dollar smile. "You done yet?" Ollie asked.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Was done hours ago. What took you so long, amigo?" Ollie said playfully.

Hector rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's grab a drink."

Every Thursday Randy's would be full of law students as the 2Ls and 3Ls did not have classes on Friday while the 1Ls would only have two classes in the late morning.

Ollie and Hector entered the bar that at this moment resembled a cattle call. Standing room only. Hector joined the other members of his study group _sans_ Kelly who never went to the bar. He noticed Ollie did not follow him.

"Finish your paper?" asked Sujata.

"Just finished. How about you guys?"

"I still have some editing but I'm planning on finishing tonight and printing it out tomorrow morning," replied Maher.

"Living dangerously," said Ollie. "I like that." Hector turned seeing Ollie holding two pints of lager. Ollie casually handed Hector one.

Sujata looked at Ollie, who responded by smiling at her and then everyone else. Hector felt a pang of jealousy, but worked hard to not show it.

Mina came rushing in. "I need a drink now!"

"Finish your paper?" asked Sujata.

"You know it! Who wants to grab a drink with me at the bar?"

The rest of the group lifted up their glasses to show they already had a drink.

"Fine!" Mina left towards the bar brushing off others who were trying to get her attention.

"One day that girl is going to bust an artery," said Ollie.

"My buddy is on Law Review. He had to verify and update the contact information for the alumni of the class that graduated thirty years before his class, and swore a third of them were dead." Maher said.

"So, you're saying in thirty years when we're in our fifties, a third of us will be dead?" asked Hector.

Lawrence choked on his beer.

Sujata chugged hers.

"That's the spirit!" exclaimed Ollie rubbing Sujata's shoulder. "Let's do shots!" Ollie left to grab a round for the group.

"He's a nice guy considering he's not part of our study group," said Maher. "I thought he was such a vapid guy at first."

"He's a friendly guy, and really great once you get to know him," said Hector, who was eyeing Ollie at bar speaking animatedly with other classmates at the bar.

Two hours later, Hector connected with other students in his class outside of his study group and enjoyed getting to know them more on a personal level. He shared a pitcher with one group from the morning track and cheered to the horrible Professor Goldberg. Then a member of another track bought Hector a pitcher for dealing with a tough Property cold call from Profesor Szabo "like a champ."

"And I've been trying to convince everyone that the doctrine of adverse possession should be taught with the song "O.P.P." by Naughty by Nature! I mean it's other people's property!" Hector said after finishing that pitcher.

That won Hector a shot. Casey was right, law school destroyed people's sense of humor.

As the night wore on, a game of beer pong commenced as it always did. Hector had completely avoided these scenes in college, but now in Law School, he was embracing his turn to the douche.

After a few rounds took place, the beer pong table crowd was dwindling. Hector saw Sujata and Ollie speaking. Hector noticed that Sujata looked frustrated. Then Sujata abruptly left the bar with Lawrence and Maher. Ollie shrugged his shoulders, caught Hector's gaze, and walked towards him.

"What up, amigo?"

"What was that about?" asked Hector.

"Oh nothing, we just had a difference of opinion."

"Wait, I thought you were interested." Said Hector.

"What?" asked Ollie.

Before Hector could respond, Ollie screamed out, "Look, the beer pong table is free! Let's play a game!"

Before Hector could reply, again, he saw two of his classmates, William and Sarah, walk in together. William and Sarah were fellow 1Ls who had joined the OUTlaws (the LGBTQ+ law student group) with him. William and Sarah made a beeline towards Hector. Hector enjoyed their company though as he had not had the chance to speak with them substantively yet as they were in different tracks from him.

"O.M.G.! Hector!" said William. "That fucking contracts class is ridiculous, right? I feel like I'm just teaching myself contracts. If I have to hear how his offer to sell his watch is a necessary but insufficient start of a contract one more time!"

"Tell me about it," said Hector as they hugged and became friends forever.

Sarah then said, "I'm just going to ask it, I don't care how stupid I sound. What the fuck is an estate?"

Hector was going to answer but he realized he did not really know how to answer. He knew what an estate was, _but how do you explain it?_ He wondered.

"It's the extensive area of land that includes all real property and personal property owned by a person, family, or organization. Including all money," responded Jae-Sun.

 _Well, that was much better than what I was going to say,_ Hector thought. _I was just going to say it's like everything you have._

"Thank you!" exclaimed Sarah, who then high-fived Jae-Sun. Surprisingly, Jae-Sun responded in kind and actually smiled. "Where I come from, nobody has a fucking will so everything is just done intestate. So, we don't come across these probably very normal terms."

Jae-Sun gave Sarah what Hector would describe as a hint of an understanding nod. Maybe he's human.

"You're like a robot," said William.

Jae-Sun did not respond. He then turned to Hector. "How did you find that LRW assignment?"

"I don't know. I think I organized it ok, and I did the best I could to synthesize the law, the facts, and analysis to make it more interesting and concise to read. The hardest part was keeping it within the _page maximum_ , especially with that giant ass font and wide spacing."

"Oh, so you write the way you speak. Verbose," replied Jae-Sun.

And here Hector thought he could have a real conversation with Jae-Sun. Before Hector could respond, Ollie sneaked in-between Jae-Sun and Hector. "Hey amigo, you wanna play a game of beer pong?"

Jae-Sun silently looked at Ollie, contemplated for a moment, and then shrugged his shoulders.

Hector was not sure what kind of response that was until he saw Jae-Sun set up the beer pong game.

"I was actually asking you, Hector, but if he wants to play, then let's play." Ollie then set up his side of the beer pong table.

William then whispered into Hector's ear, "What's going on here?"

"What do you mean? They're playing beer pong."

"Um, girl...it's tense!"

"Willie, no it's not." Hector just learned that William loved drama, which he would appreciate in the up-coming years for entertainment value.

"Willie?! Nobody calls me Willie...but I like it! Ok Hector, you can call me Willie." Willie then gave Hector an "okay gurl" look and then said, "I don't know what you see, but those boys look like they're posturing."

"Posturing for what?" asked Hector.

"I think for you," said Willie.

"What? Ew Willie!" Hector said. He had no idea why he said "Ew". He had been lusting after Ollie for the past few weeks. And honestly, looking at Jae-Sun, he was actually a very attractive man in that dark assassin five o'clock shadow sort of way, if you subtracted his personality. "They're not gay, Willie."

"What's gay and what's straight these days?" said Willie.

 _That sounds like a well-worn pick-up line_ , thought Hector. "Believe me, Willie, I'm the king of making straight male friends. I learned the hard way not to mistake male bonding with anything more." Hector answered.

"And I'm the king of gaydar and they're pinging, at least on a bi level."

"Maybe, maybe not. Ollie is just one of those touchy straight guys and Jae-Sun seems totally straight."

"Granted, but Jae-Sun just took Ollie's challenge. But Ollie felt the need to challenge him after you were talking to Jae-Sun. Okay gurl."

Hector was about to correct Willie about the fact that Ollie was inviting _him_ to play beer pong until Sarah hushed them.

Sarah said, "This is getting exciting."

Willie and Hector did not realize Ollie and Jae-Sun were in a close match when they finished their conversation with both making nearly half the balls into the other's cup. Hector then saw Jae-Sun take off his sweater revealing a black muscle shirt. Hector saw a full-sleeved arm tattoo on Jae-Sun's right arm and a half-sleeve tattoo on his left that had some light blue color and orange koi fish action. He also noticed a circular tattoo near the back of his neck that had what looked like a chain going down his back, but he could not tell as the muscle shirt covered most of it.

 _Wow, I sort of hope he is gay_ , Hector thought.

"Ew, no!" He then said.

"Ew what?" asked Willie.

"Oh, nothing," said Hector. Hector turned towards Ollie who he hadn't realized had been looking at him this whole time. Did Ollie see Hector ogling Jae-Sun. He hoped not.

"It's your turn!" bellowed an annoyed Jae-Sun. Ollie jolted back to the game.

 _Wow, that's the loudest I heard Jae-Sun speak_ , Hector thought.

Suddenly, "In a Gadda Da Vida" by Iron Butterfly started playing in the jukebox thus adding to the intensity of the game. The pulsing rhythm of the guitar brought a certain gravitas to the situation.

_In a gadda da vida, honey_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'm lovin' you_

_In a gadda da vida, baby_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'll always be true_

However, as both of them had to down a few drinks by this point, both started missing much more than they were making. In fact, each went about five times and had not made a shot.

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And take my hand_

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And walk this land_

_Please take my hand_

Suddenly, about twenty other law students started crowding around the table wanting to see which of the two would win this game. Some even started wagering.

Ollie regarded the crowed and decided to take off his shirt. He then did some sort of weird battle cry with an even stranger pose getting the crowd to cheer for him.

 _Wow, he's in shape,_ Hector thought even though he was already well aware of that and his beautiful perfectly proportioned body that shone with his smooth white skin.

"What a show-boater," scoffed Lawrence.

"Oh hey, Lawrence, I didn't know you were still here."

"I just saw Maher off," said Lawrence. "He went back to finish his paper."

"Oh..." Hector said.

"Here, you should take his beer. He refused to drink it."

Hector saw glimpses of Ollie's shirtless body trying to calculate the angle of his shot while Jae-Sun in his tatted glory was standing crossed arm and emotionless. Hector then grabbed the beer Lawrence offered and took a big gulp. Hector was trying to figure out which of the two bodies he preferred. Hector took another big gulp. He then blamed Willie for putting this idea in his head. Well, Willie, and the shared pitcher of beer, the whole pitcher of beer, the glass of beer, and the two shots he had already plus the Maher's pint of beer he was nursing.

"You know this song is like 18 minutes-long right?" asked Sarah who then looked at whatever it was Ollie and Jae-Sun were doing. "It's crazy what men do. I don't get them and never want to."

Hector turned to the jukebox for no particular reason as it did not a timer or anything to inform him how much longer this song will play. He then saw Mina laughing with some other female law students with the bartender. Hector wondered how many classes of law students this bartender had gone through at this bar.

Hector's phone buzzed and saw a text message from Alex that read "Go to bed." Then followed by "j/k it's Thurs, u told me wht Thurs r lke 4 law students. Have fun." Alex did not have to tell Hector twice.

This song was long. _How long is this drumming solo going to take?_ For some reason both Ollie and Jae-Sun seemed to be moving in slow motion to the music. Then Hector realized he just had some weird day dream as he snapped out of it and saw them looking completely normal.

Both Ollie and Jae-Sun were down to three red solo cups each.

"This song is creepy," said Willie.

"This song reminds me of _The Simpsons_ ," said Kelly.

"Whoa, Kelly, what are you doing here?" asked Hector who instinctively hugged her. Kelly did not hug back but she looked not displeased with Hector.

"Oh sorry, I don't know why I did that," said Hector.

"I know why," said Kelly. "You've been drinking. Let me have a sip."

Hector obliged.

"Ay! What are you doing here? You never go out to the bar." Asked Hector. "By the way, you can have that beer."

"We've only been in school for like six weeks, Hector, it's too early to say whether I never do anything, don't you think?" Kelly responded. "Also, thanks for the beer."

 _She has a point,_ Hector thought.

"I see Ollie is making another display out of himself," said Kelly. "I'm surprised Jae-Sun is playing into it. I wonder what he's doing here. He's not very sociable."

Hector thought that was the pot calling the kettle black.

The game was down 2-to-1 in favor of Jae-Sun. Ollie had the ball. The crowd waited with baited breath to see if Ollie would make that shot.

_In a gadda da vida, honey_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'm lovin' you_ _  
_ _In a gadda da vida, baby_ _  
_ _Don't you know that I'll always be true_

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And take my hand_

_Oh, won't you come with me_ _  
_ _And walk this land_

_Please take my hand_

Ollie shot.

Ollie missed.

It was Jae-Sun's turn.

The crowd was readying itself to wait with anticipation, but Jae-Sun shot without ceremony and shot the ball right into the middle of Ollie's last cup.

Everyone was a little disappointed by the anticlimactic way Jae-Sun had ended the game though his extremely clean shot with little splash back was impressive. Shame it was under-appreciated by the crowd.

"Best two out of three!" yelled Ollie hoping to get the crowd in his favor. But everyone just walked away ready for something else to entertain them.

"I cannot believe people got this excited over a beer pong game," said Kelly. "They were just throwing balls into cups."

"It wasn't about the game, it was about how those two guys were trying to show each other up," said Willie.

"Well, I was bored," said Lawrence.

"My turn!" screamed Sarah.

"Me too!" responded Mina, coming from out of nowhere. _Was that a hickey on her neck?_ Hector wondered.

This prompted Hector to look at the beer pong table and he noticed Jae-Sun had already put his sweater back on, cleared away both sides the table and was helping Sarah and Mina set up for their game. Hector could not find Ollie anywhere. As Hector was turning to look for Ollie, he and Jae-Sun made eye contact momentarily before Jae-Sun turned his attention towards Sarah who was asking him for some strategy tips.

Suddenly, Ollie swung his arm around Hector from behind with a shot in his hand. "Here, let's do another." Hector looked at Ollie and smiled before downing the shot with him. Law school was making Hector appreciate Jameson and Fireball.

As Ollie and Hector made their way out of the bar, Hector was ready to say good bye and walk to his dorm.

"I'll drive you to the dorm," said Ollie.

"Pfft" said Hector. "It's like over there." Hector said pointing towards a direction he wasn't quite sure was the right direction of his dorm.

"You're buzzed," said Ollie amused.

"I'm happy," said Hector smiling and then wobbling - nearly falling.

Ollie caught Hector before he fell on the floor.

He and Ollie made eye contact before Ollie pulled him up and helped him towards his car.

 _Great_ , said Hector. _I'm falling in love with another close straight friend_. _Happens all the time_. Hector did not know how to get out of this cycle. He needed to stop being so "adorable" or "interesting" (words _they_ used to describe him) to totally straight guys who only wanted a platonic relationship with him and who basked in the attention they received from him.

Hector remembered Casey recommending that he should just tell new straight guys he meets that he didn't need any new friends, so to only talk to him if they wanted a little "somethin' somethin'". Surprisingly, Grandma CeCe thought that was not a bad idea. She was worried about gay bashing for being so forward, however, the physical kind.

Ollie drove a long three minutes before they reached Hector's dorm. It had taken longer to walk to Ollie's car and get into the car, and start the car, and buckle in.

"Thanks for the ride," said Hector. Right before Hector could exit the car, Ollie pulled Hector towards him and kissed him on the lips.

 _That was new_.

"Uh..." said Hector.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought you were interested. I mean I thought we've been flirting this whole time. Oh god, I'm sorry for misreading the situation. Oh man, I was pushy, and..."

_Flirting? Ollie called that flirting? Gosh, I guess beautiful people didn't have to work that hard._

"No, no, I just did not know we were flirting. You weren't pushy. I was just kinda surprised that's all." _Wait, this sounds familiar_.

"Oh...so you didn't think about me in that way?" said Ollie looking dejected.

"I did! I really did! Like a lot, but I didn't think you thought of me in that way," admitted Hector. Hector was afraid he was saying too much.

"Wow, I'm really bad at this huh?" laughed Ollie.

"What do you mean? Sujata liked you. Obviously, you have some game."

"Sujata? Is that what you thought that was? Oh my God, amigo, no!" Ollie laughed.

"What was it then?"

"This is embarrassing, but Sujata and I were talking about you actually."

"Me?"

"Yeah. See, I know she's a close friend of yours. So, I thought I could be friends with her and then ask her more about you and get her advice on how to ask you out."

Hector thought that was a very strange way of going about it considering Ollie was actually Hector's best friend in law school and they had hung out nearly every day since the semester started. What would Sujata know about him that he would not have known?

"And she was giving me some advice, but today, she was mad because I said I wanted to make my move tonight, and she didn't think it was appropriate because you had already drank so much. She thought I should ask you out when you hadn't been drinking. She then left because she actually did not finish her paper and was actually a bit upset about it."

"Oh..." said Hector. "I didn't even know you were gay much less out."

"Uh yeah, about that," said Ollie nervously. "I don't think I'm gay."

"Well, are you bi?"

"I would not call it that either," Ollie responding looking uncomfortable.

"Well, what would you call it then?" asked Hector.

"I don't know, I just know I like you. A lot. I feel this connection and chemistry with you. I know you feel it because you admitted you thought of me in _that way_."

Hector did not know what to say at the moment. He knew Ollie was not wrong to not identify as gay if he did not feel that he was, but did he want to be with someone who had a more ambiguous sexual orientation? _I mean sexuality is a spectrum, right?_

"Listen Hector..." Ollie said, interrupting Hector's internal monologue.

"Callate! You listen!" Hector said moving his arm in a circular fashion and snapping his fingers. _Wow, he caught me as I was in the middle of the drama zone right there._ "Ok, that was way more aggressive than I had intended that to be."

Ollie laughed, and then attempted to pull Hector in for another kiss. Hector pushed Ollie away accidentally pushing too hard and causing Ollie to hit his head onto the driver's window.

"Dios Mio! Sorry!" said Hector.

"Then kiss me to make it feel better." Ollie then grabbed Hector by the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

Hector pushed away again.

"Ay! Ok, first of all, me kissing you on the lips won't do anything for the bump on the back of your head. Second of all, I don't know, Ollie. Let me explain myself."

"This is why I like you. You're so funny."

 _Funny?_ Hector thought. _What a mood killer_.

"And so adorable..." Ollie whispered into Hector's ear.

"Ok, ok, por favor! Stop." Hector said as he blocked another advance from Ollie.

Hector hesitated, and then just said whatever came out of his head. "Fijate, I mean pay attention, por favor." Hector felt the thick Nuyorican he had been trying to suppress in law school was coming out in full force.

"This is the most Spanish I heard you speak since I met you, amigo. Where have you been hiding that?"

"Ay! Are you getting turned on? Ew!" said Hector. "Ok, shut up now and let me talk. I've been out since freshman year of college, and it was not easy at all. Before that, people would bully me in school because they suspected I was gay because of the way I spoke and acted. And to stop it from happening, I had to pretend I had no sexuality whatsoever. Like sex and romance were not even on my mind. And I was in Brooklyn. Imagine if lived somewhere even more unaccepting of it. When I went to college, I told myself I will be free to be myself and not hide any longer. I thought it would be easier in college, but it wasn't. At times, it could be just as hard. Not being out, is like living in this soul crushing void where you never feel alive. You're constantly looking over your shoulder and being too careful about how you present yourself. I feel like if I am going to be with someone who won't embrace his sexuality, then I'll be put in a position to be forced into hiding again. I refuse to go back into that damn closet!"

Ollie grabbed Hector by the shoulders and held him. Then he shook him in an exaggerated manner. "Hector! I'm not asking you to hide anything. In fact, we can be a couple in school if you want. I just don't want any PDA, but not because you're a boy, but because I'm just like that. We can still goof around and be like we always are, just this time, me and you will be together when it's just me and you. It makes it special."

"I don't know..." said Hector apprehensively. _Wait, he doesn't want PDA?_

"Look, if you're gay and you want to be openly gay, I support that. I just don't think it's right that you expect me to attach a label to myself when I don't feel that it's an accurate way to describe myself. It's like if someone forced you to identify yourself as 'straight'."

_Hector did not think about it that way before. Maybe Ollie had a point. He was imposing an orientation on Ollie. Maybe Ollie will figure it out eventually one way or the other._

"Don't lose sight of the fact that the important thing is that I want to be with you Hector. Why overthink it?"

Ollie then flashed his megawatt smile at Hector. The fluorescent lights from the industrial bridge location of Long Island City somehow added a beautiful sheen to Ollie's golden locks, and even in this dim lighting, he could see Ollie's sapphire eyes sparkling. The closed environment of Ollie's 2005 BMW Z 4 (top up) caused Ollie's masculine-scented and clearly expensive cologne to penetrate the air inside.

"To hell with it," said Hector. He pulled Ollie closer for a kiss, which led to a full on make out session, which lead to...

* * *

**FRIDAY**

Examining himself in the mirror, Hector was fixing his hair for probably the 10th time. He had to make sure he looked presentable. He made sure his white shirt was stain-free and buttoned up to the top as to cover the giant hickey Ollie had given him last night. He put on his navy suit with a scarlet tie and black loafers. The understood male lawyer style manual stated that only three colors are acceptable for a suit: black, grey, and navy. At least one had a choice with grey: you could go from charcoal to a soft pale. The more boring the better.

Hector was less hung over now as was able to take a three-hour mid-afternoon nap after attending LRW and Property this morning.

Hector sat in the living room chair waiting for Maher and Lawrence, who lived across the hall, to knock on his door so they could walk to the alumni reception together. As Hector sat in the armchair, he remembered what he and Ollie did in his car after he pulled him in for a kiss. The memory made Hector giddy. He felt himself turning red. _What a steamy night_. He even did the hand on the steamed window thing like Kate Winslet in _Titanic_. Then Hector heard a knock and promptly rose up to head down to the alumni reception.

At the alumni reception, most of the 1L class had attended, especially the ones from the minority student program, as it was mandatory for them to attend. They did not mind however, as they received free food. Free food in law school is more valuable than a pot of gold. Maher and Lawrence decided to mingle with some alumni they knew worked at prestigious law firms. Hector did not care to do so as those firms would not take any graduates from this school. Plus, Hector had no interest working in the private sector. He wanted to get into public interest legal services to help those who were most vulnerable in society.

As Hector was eyeing a plate of what looked like stuffed mushrooms, he sensed a familiar presence standing behind him. Hector turned around to find Jae-Sun.

"You must be hungry," he said.

"Actually, I am," said Hector. Hector wasn't even mad at Jae-Sun. He was in such a good mood.

"In that case, you should try to hoisin meatballs," Jae-Sun replied.

 _Oh, that didn't go as I expected_ , thought Hector.

Jae-Sun then pointed to a hoisin meatball from his plate and offered Hector one. Hector loved the free, so he gladly took it.

"Wow! That's amazing!" Hector exclaimed. "Thanks for letting me have yours. That was really good! Gracias!"

Jae-Sun surprisingly smiled.

"Why aren't you mingling?" asked Hector.

"I don't really need to," said Jae-Sun.

"Oh yeah, why not?" asked Hector.

"I have a job lined up after we graduate."

"That's not until three years!" Hector exclaimed nearly spitting out his meatball. Maybe he shouldn't have been talking with his mouth full.

"My Dad owns a factory distributing meat to Korean vendors and the law firm that represents him is also Korean-owned and they told him they'd have a position for me when I graduate."

"What if it doesn't work out?" asked Hector. "A lot can happen in three years," Hector said as he grabbed a beef rib slider with caramelized onions...or three, from a passing waiter. Did he just hear Jae-Sun chuckle? "Oh, I grabbed one for you too." Hector lied, initially.

Before Jae-Sun could continue, Hector put one onto his plate. "Um, thanks," Jae-Sun said. "And don't worry, the firm has been in business for a long time, and they are connected to other Korean-owned law firms in the area. And if that fails, I will just work for my Dad and do legal work for him as needed. That was what I was doing before. Well, not the legal work...technically."

"Oh," said Hector. "That sounds nice actually." Hector flashed his signature toothy smile without realizing it. "Why did you come to this event then?"

"You know why," said Jae-Sun.

"Oh yeah, mandatory for people like us."

Jae-Sun lightly chuckled. Then he grew more serious. "Why aren't you mingling with the others? You're usually so sociable and animated."

"I am?" asked Hector.

Jae-Sun looked annoyed. "There goes that false modesty again. That wasn't even a compliment."

"Ah, there it is," said Hector laughing and pointing at Jae-Sun. "I was waiting for the Jae-Sun I know." _Man, I am in a good mood!_ Hector thought to himself.

Jae-Sun couldn't help but give a real laugh this time.

Before Hector could continue, a man who looked like an important partner of a big law firm came towards them and introduced himself. Then he would not leave. And he would not eat. Hector for some reason felt compelled to reject any plate of food waiters offered them out of some weird compulsion to be polite. What made it worse was that Jae-Sun would not even look at the plate of food forcing Hector to reject it. Had he just taken one, Hector could have as well!

During this man's conversation with them, Hector had to feign interest in corporate law, but he did ask a few questions about what actual practice and litigation was like. Jae-Sun for his part, seemed like he came prepared as he asked some questions Hector would not have even thought about to which the big law partner seemed enthused to answer.

Nearly forty-five minutes later, the big law partner finally left, but all the good food had already been gobbled up. Hector could not help but think about the roast beef with some peppery mustard on toast, the heirloom tomato bruschetta on toast, the salmon with cream cheese on toast, the roasted Brussels sprouts & 3-cheese spread on toast, and the Sriracha spring rolls not on toast that he had to turn down while talking with that man. Hector didn't even think to get his business card.

"If you were hungry, why didn't you just grab some of that food?" asked Jae-Sun.

"Why didn't you?" asked Hector not meaning to sound as angry as he did and too distracted to realize that Jae-Sun had realized he'd been wanting to eat. He was not angry at Jae-Sun. No, he was just angry about the missed food opportunity. One thing law school did to Hector was that it made him appreciate free food even more than he already had, especially that sort of free food.

"I got here quite some time before you did, I already sampled all the plates I wanted to try."

"Well, if you knew if I wanted some, you could have taken one so that it would not have been weird if I had one as well," Hector whined.

"Why do you need me to do that? If you want food you have to take it for yourself. Just like everything else in life. Don't wait for permission. You did not even care what that guy thought of you, right? You did not want to mingle because you did not see yourself working for a firm like his. It makes no sense that you decided to care about looking proper in front of him," Jae-Sun said sternly.

"Wow, I got a whole paragraph out of you!" said Hector excitedly as his grin got toothier by the moment.

"Ugh!" responded Jae-Sun.

Hector heartedly laughed. "Oh wow, and a grunt! Wait do it again, I need to record this."

Jae-Sun looked as though he was about to say something else before the rest of the class that had also attended the alumni reception joined them. They hung out with each other for the rest of the night commenting how this event was fun but not too much fun. It was the appropriate amount of fun. Hector realized Jae-Sun had retreated back to his usual quiet and somewhat sullen self but he looked less antagonistic. He actually looked like a cool and quiet assassin with his dark grey suit and black shirt with no tie and open buttons showing a surprising talent for accessorizing with a long string silver chain. It wasn't quite a lawyerly suit, but nobody was going to disrespect him looking like that.

Kelly joined the group and somehow roped Jae-Sun into a serious conversation about the Rules Against Perpetuities in Property Law. _Actually, that sounded useful_ , Hector thought. Hector tried to listen in before Mina and Sujata pulled him away so they could take selfies (before they were called selfies), and then forced him to mingle with some important alumni.

In the end, Hector was glad to have met some of the alumni. Many of them were interesting people in their own right who devoted a lot of time away to do _pro bono_ work. Some of the alumni either worked at non-profit legal services organizations or had worked there before moving on to their private firms, but had kept in contact with those who still worked there. Hector received their business cards.

Before they knew it, the appropriately fun reception came to an end. The head of the minority student program finally gave her "ok" for the students to leave, not that they needed it though Hector believed she was mentally taking roll call as they were leaving. As Hector and his classmates exited, Hector realized what a good time he had tonight. The group planned on going to Randy's which sounded like the best idea ever to Hector. _Disco Fries!_

Hector turned and saw Jae-Sun exiting with the group. Hector had wanted to ask Jae-Sun if he'd be going to Randy's with them and if not, he was going to forcefully make him go anyway. He was hoping this could be a new beginning of their classroom relationship as he liked this newfound friendship with Jae-Sun. As he walked towards Jae-Sun, Jae-Sun turned towards Hector. Face to face, Hector was about to speak before he heard a voice calling for him.

"Hector!" yelled Ollie.

Hector turned around and exclaimed, "Ollie! What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming?"

"I'm not 'coming', the event is over, right?" chuckled Ollie.

Most of the class yelled at Ollie - telling him to come to Randy's or mockingly admonishing him for skipping the event.

Hector rushed towards Ollie but was careful not to embrace him or show any sort of public display of affection as he knew how Ollie felt about it. He made it look as manly and platonic as possible. "Hey, so the gang and I were thinking about grabbing drinks at Randy's and..."

Before Hector could continue, Ollie planting a long, loving kiss onto him, in front of the class.

"Come on, it's Friday night. I want to take you out and have some fun. You're already dressed," Ollie said winking at Hector.

The only thing Hector could do at that moment was a give a meek "ok" before hopping into Ollie's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hey everyone. I hope you enjoyed this Hector-centric chapter. I basically took some of my memories of law school and put it into Hector's life. I know it might be controversial to make Hector gay since that was not established in canon, but I thought I'd pay homage to William Hernandez, the actor who played Hector, who is an out gay man.
> 
> Also, please do not go to Alex's "address". He's not there. :p Speaking of him, the next chapter is about "Prince Charming" himself.
> 
> I also seriously believe Janice Hall is hacking into LJ Bad as we speak at her job with the CIA.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think of this chapter! Please review/comment.


	7. Chapter 6: Prince Charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective Alex Fernandez is hitting new strides in his career, and he is waking up next to the love of his life. He shouldn't be happier in his charmed life. And yet, the atmosphere at the 90th Precinct enflames deep frustrations and insecurities within him.

_Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome_

_Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome_

_Prince charming, prince charming_ _  
_ _Ridicule is nothing to be scared of_

_Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome_

_Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards_ _  
_ _Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Lower yourself, forgetting all your standards_

_Prince charming, prince charming_ _  
_ _Ridicule is nothing to be scared of_

_Don't you ever, don't you ever_ _  
_ _Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome_

_Silk or leather or a feather_ _  
_ _Respect yourself and all of those around you_ _  
_ _Silk or leather or a feather_ _  
_ _Respect yourself and all of those around you_

\- Adam Ant

Alex was awakened by his obnoxious alarm clock shrieking what sounded like some man screaming. He turned it off right away via slamming his fist on the clock. Gaby had bought him this high-tech alarm clock with all sorts of buttons he had yet to figure out. As he stretched and sprawled out on his queen-sized bed, he accidentally hit Tina in the face with his left arm.

"Ow!" Tina yelped.

"Ack! Sorry, _Em_!" Alex apologized as he proceeded to kiss her on the spot where he had hit her. After he did that, he then felt compelled to kiss her wherever he felt.

"Ok ok, _Anh_ , that's enough," Tina said clearly annoyed.

A useful feature of this complicated clock was that it showed also showed the current date as well as the time. The clock read: Monday, September 19, 2005. 7:00 am.

"How did you sleep through that alarm?" Alex yawned. He stretched out his limbs again this time swinging left arm around Tina's neck then pulling her closer for a snuggle. Tina instinctively latched onto his body. From where Alex was lying, he could see Tina's head nestled on his chest as she wrapped her body onto his. _Maybe we have some time for some morning fun_ , Alex thought.

"Ok, time to get up," Tina said. Before Alex could protest, she shot up from over him and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Alex spent another ten minutes lying down in-between sleep and consciousness with his arms and legs fully spread across the bed.

Tina walked into his room, mouth full of foamy toothpaste, face covered in a Korean face mask, and hair tied up so she could put on some light make-up as she always did. Alex pretty much knew Tina's morning routine by heart now. He loved that she was wearing his oversized white T-shit of his where the collar revealed a bit of her collarbone. He was getting turned on.

" _Anh!_ Get up or you're going to be late. Come on, just four more days and then your vacation starts."

"I'm up, I'm up," Alex said, smirking as he meant more than the plain meaning of his words.

Tina did not get it, and continued on. "When do you go in to the precinct today?"

"Not till 10:30 am," Alex answered. "I'm going to head to the gym first."

"Oh ok. I'll make you a protein shake before you go," Tina said as she unpeeled her face mask and then headed back into the bathroom.

Alex smiled. Alex got out of bed and walked towards his living room. Alex was pretty proud of the way he and Rob put everything together here. Things looked like they made sense, and even though it was not the biggest apartment, the living room certainly looked roomy enough to hold the entire Ghostwriter team plus some extra. He was also happy he had a small, dedicated dining space in-between the small-ass kitchen and the little hall way (if you could call it that) leading from the front door to the living room.

He lucked out in getting this two-bedroom apartment. (A find indeed!). His tia Karina had a friend who owned properties in South Williamsburg amidst all the Hasidic Jews. She had a friend who bought a property in Bushwick back when nobody wanted to buy property there whose cousin married a man whose son was in the NYPD who married a woman whose father owned this building. As a person who had family in the NYPD, the landlord gladly took Alex on as a tenant and even gave him a discounted rate on rent.

Prospect Heights was a seriously nice neighborhood and his window, at the right angle, had a view of Prospect Park if you used your imagination. Alex looked out of the window and realized he should probably get it replaced. He thought he saw a small neat bullet hole. It did not look like a huge one though nor did it have the usual cracks that went around it making Alex think it was a BB gun shot from the inside.

"Ok, you can use the bathroom now," Tina said heading straight to the kitchen. "I'm going to put some kale in the shake, ok?"

Alex did not really care for Tina's shakes, but he knew it was healthy. It was not that they tasted bad, but he preferred a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll with hot sauce.

Alex washed his face carefully with his trusty bar soap. Tina had been forcing him to use a face mask for some time now. He relented after initially protesting, but put his foot down on cleansing, toning, and moisturizing. He said he would revisit adopting that into his routine when he hit thirty. If Alex was being honest with himself, he enjoyed the face mask as he felt it was refreshing and relaxing.

Alex decided to shave at home rather than at the gym, so he carefully applied his favorite shaving cream. As Alex was shaving, he looked around his nice white tiled bathroom with a surprisingly big tub cramped next to a toilet located near the exposed piping on the walls. Alex made the mistake of touching the pipes when he first moved in and found out how much heat they exuded.

Suddenly, he heard the radio from the kitchen blaring. Tina put on some oldies station playing music from the 1980s. He enjoyed shaving to the sounds of the music and to Tina chopping up some kale until he heard the loud blender going off.

After Alex finished in the bathroom, he went into his room to put on a shirt and his trusty red track pants with thick white stripes on the side.

"Take a track jacket!" Tina yelled. "It's getting colder."

Alex thought it looked plenty sunny to him and did not remember seeing a breeze when he looked out of the window earlier.

Listening to Tina, Alex chose one of his trusted Nike track jackets that Tina felt he should have replaced some time ago. Alex carefully opened his closet and took out a freshly dry-cleaned button down. He folded it carefully and placed it into his gym bag.

These days, Alex found himself dressing less sporty casual and became increasingly more conscious of his style. This started time after college causing Gaby to poke fun of Alex at his increasing picky style, something that would have been deemed out-of-character for him prior. Once he made Detective, Alex started devouring all sorts of books and magazines about how to dress properly, reading alcohol guides to teach him what whiskies and other liquors to buy, and how to best present himself. However, that part of him had not extended to interior decoration.

Alex had grown particular with his shirts - making sure that the pattern matched on the sleeve and the shoulders. When he first started buying clothes for himself, he did not think to do such things and had mixed results. He also tried to get a higher count stich per centimeter count for his shirts, within his budget. Luckily, Linda, Tina's sister, had some connections through the Fashion Institute of Technology where he could get them wholesale rather than retail.

Alex then started looking through the closet to choose the right pants. The last thing he wanted was to look like the stereotype of an overworked and overeating Brooklyn detective with their brown suits and high-rise pants bringing attention to larger bellies. Low-rise pants were the way to go for Alex. He already had long legs, so he did not need to accentuate them. What he did not want was a huge rise area. That went for every pair of pants Alex bought, including his track pants. Alex learned what to look for regarding the waistband, buttons, and even belt loops. He even started wearing pants with side adjusters.

Last, but most importantly, to Alex was the right jacket. They always had to be fitted, slimming, and made of the best material he could afford on his budget. He learned the hard way what happened when he bought a $100 suit from H&M.

As Alex was going through his closet looking for the right jacket, he found the beautiful black wool long "Sherlock Holmes" jacket that featured a double-breasted button closure, broad lapels, four external pockets and a textured design Tina had purchased for him last winter. He could not wait for the winter season to put it on again and already imagined the matching scarves.

The rest of the Ghostwriter team observed Alex's evolution into some sort of style maven and had a great time making fun of him for it when it started. Tina defended him by saying he had always been that way and to look at old pictures to see how nicely pressed and ironed his clothes were and how Alex styled himself, if we ignored the oversized shirt craze of the 1990s. She reminded everyone that by the time Alex went to high school, he dropped his oversized crazy patterned button downs for crisp polo shirts and slacks. Of course, this made everyone on the team make fun of Alex some more and of Tina for noticing it so much.

However, no matter what Alex bought, he could count on his connections with Tina's family's tailor shop to measure and tailor his clothes properly for him. Once Alex made Detective, Tina's mother and father would hound him to bring them his clothes so they could properly tailor it for him. Alex always offered to pay but they simply refused and acted insulted. Through time, he simply learned to just do what they said. A way he got around it was to "buy" things from the Bodega and bring them as gifts to the tailor shop every time he went.

In many ways, his parents and Tina's were very similar. He used to be so afraid of Tina's parents. Her father looked like he had a resting angry face and, at times, looked as though steam would be coming out from his ears. Her mother looked so serious and did not say much as she carefully selected her words when speaking. Alex often wondered how Tina felt growing up in that household. Of course, they spoke about growing up with their parents constantly, but being informed is not the same as experiencing it.

The fact that her parents decided to become Alex's personal tailors was actually a good thing knowing Tina, Alex thought. Otherwise, Alex figured that she would probably feel the obligation to do the tailoring for him as she was forced to learn a bit of the trade growing up and working at her parent's tailor shop. With her parents doing it, it got Tina off the hook. One thing Alex never wanted to do was add to Tina's list of errands. He was suspecting she was feeling as if she had to play a certain type of homemaker role with him, even before he rented his own apartment.

As Alex carefully packed his work clothes into his gym bag, he placed his silver dial Rolex watch into his bag along with his badge and his hip holster for his gun.

Alex then went to the electronic wall safe he had the landlord install and took out his sub compact Smith and Wesson M&P 0.40, careful not to shift any of the other items inside of the safe to avoid revealing a certain item to Tina in case she had been behind him and had a view of the inside.

Tina told Alex that she did not feel safe being in a dwelling with a gun. One way to appease her was for her to not know the combination code of the safe. On Tina's first night here, Alex demonstrated how he unloaded the gun every time he put the gun back in the safe and how the gun always had the safety lock on when he was off-duty. He even showed her that he placed the gun with the pointer away from them.

Alex would lock his gun in his precinct's safe before heading to the nearby gym. Taking his police radio with him, Alex picked out one of his many classic oxford dress shoes, this time opting for British tan to go with the gray jacket and pants ensemble he chose.

Tina laid his smoothie -packed inside a container - on the table. "If you wait another ten minutes, I can have your lunch packed."

" _Em_ , you don't have to do that," said Alex.

"No, I want to. Look, I'm about to start. I already chopped everything up last night."

Alex wondered when Tina did that. He certainly did not remember her chopping anything last night. She must have done it when they fell asleep after Alex convinced her to do what they had been doing since ancient history: that if she'd strip for him, he'd strip for her. When it came to that, Alex did not mind throwing his carefully selected and tailored clothes wherever they would land since his desires made him willing to throw them into the fire.

Now that Alex saw Tina was cooking, he was transfixed. One thing that always got Alex's attention was food.

Alex observed Tina carefully add the sausage, and then each cup of vegetables one by one in one preheated pan and then mixing some leftover white rice that they had for dinner last night. Tina squeezed some ketchup into the stir-fry. Alex knew Tina loved ketchup from the countless number of hot dogs she ate, with extra relish. She then quickly pushed the rice, sausage, and veggie stir-fry into a small Chinese bowl.

Tina quickly whisked some eggs, seasoned them and put them in the other preheated pan. Alex watched as she spun the pan in a circular motion until it resembled a thin, flat yellow pancake. Tina then flipped the Chinese bowl upside down so that it formed a dome on to a plastic takeout bowl. Tina then peeled the thin egg sheet and wrapped it around the rice and veggie dome. Tina then squeezed more ketchup on the eggs in a fancy swirled pattern.

Tina grabbed a charcoal YETI lunch bag Alex had never seen before, and she put the container in. Tina then grabbed some utensils and a yogurt and put them in the bag as well.

"Here you go!" beamed Tina. Alex looked at the time, it really did only take about ten minutes.

"What is this?" asked Alex wanting to eat this now.

"It's omurice. Omelet plus rice! I bought a Japanese cookbook after I tried it a few weeks ago. You can microwave it later for lunch."

Alex grabbed the lunch bag and pulled Tina in for a kiss, which she gladly accepted. Alex hoped that Tina did not think she had to do this every day. Tina had to push Alex away after he was kissing her for a bit too long fearing he'd be late for the gym and work.

She sent him off with a "Good luck, detective," and smiled. Alex was tempted to grab her again but knew it was better not to get stuck in that dance again. _Was this what living with her is going to be like?_ Alex wondered smiling at the prospect of his future with her. For as long as Alex and Tina had known each other and dated, they had never exclusively shared an entire unit together, so they never had a chance to experience this sort of newlywed style co-habitation.

Alex cheerfully strode towards the B48 bus stop to catch his bus to the 90th Precinct in Williamsburg to drop off his gun and then work out at the nearby 24 Hour Fitness that many of his fellow policemen worked out. His day was starting out great!

After a one-hour work out starting with lifting and finishing with a 20-minute cardio workout on the treadmill [Alex was relieved today was not leg day], Alex showered and started dressing for his day at work. Some off-duty patrolmen Alex knew, quietly snickered as Alex preened himself in front of the mirror for what had to be about ten minutes. Possibly more. Alex heard some more chuckles behind him but chose to ignore them.

At the precinct, Alex sat at his desk organizing a particularly large file. The precinct was always full of the noise of people hustling and bustling. Papers being printed, phones ringing non-stop, police officers and detectives being crammed into small shared spaces, clerks running around trying to finish their errands, and a nonstop conveyor belt of people going in and out for one reason or another, some of whom in handcuffs. Alex's desk was situated next to his partner, Yvette Thomas's desk. They shared a squared, semi-enclosed section with two other detectives, one of whom Alex did not particularly care for.

Detective Chris Francola had seniority over Alex, and was one of the detectives his superiors suggested he learn from when Alex made Detective. However, with time Alex did not respect what he observed as Francola's severe and insensitive nature. Alex felt Francola was a relic from another time, even though he was not much older than Alex - he was maybe ten years older.

Just in Alex's tenure at this precinct as detective, Francola would be written up multiple times for multiple counts of misconduct, including: physical assault and even putting a suspect in a substantial risk of harm by being deliberately indifferent to his medical condition. However, since the department took care of its own, Francola never got anything more than a slap on the wrist.

Francola would excuse his behavior by claiming that he was "getting results", which Alex had to admit that he was at times effective. However, Alex's record outshone Francola, causing Francola to claim Alex was given easier and less messy cases to boost his success rate behind his back. Alex learned of this from some of his friends at the precinct.

One major source of Alex's contention against Francola was that he later found out that he had spread the nickname "Prince Charming" around the squad to ridicule Alex. Many of the patrolmen, to which Alex had belonged with not too long ago, and other detectives called Alex that behind his back as they concurred with Francola's opinion of him.

That was not to say Alex did not have his friends in the precinct. Daniel O'Leary also shared the squared space with Alex, Chris Francola, and Yvette Thomas. Daniel and Alex bonded over a stolen art piece case they had worked on together that stumped the department for nearly nine months until Alex and Daniel's similar research styles found subtle inconsistencies with a few of the witness' testimonies revealing a conspiracy targeting a specific art dealer who had obtained his pieces through an organized crime syndicate. Both Alex and Daniel received death threats, a fact Alex hid from the rest of the team and family. However, they steadfastly held their ground and were able obtain enough evidence to put one of the top art smugglers in federal prison, with the help of the FBI of course.

There were also other detectives and patrolmen who had worked with Alex and who respected him and enjoyed his company. However, Alex was feeling that they were being outnumbered as of late as Alex started receiving what some perceived as special treatment. This made Alex feel distant from his colleagues, apart from Yvette who partnered with him more than anyone else and became Alex's best friend outside of the members of the Ghostwriter team. She often gave him life advice while Alex would share stories with her about his past exploits as a child and teenager _sans_ any Ghostwriter mentions. They grew so close that he attended Yvette's civil ceremony with her wife.

After an hour of Alex finishing up organizing that giant file, his direct supervisor Deputy Inspector Isaiah McQuade entered the 90th Precinct. Alex was sure glad that they were no longer on the bloodied woman case as the homicide squad picked it up.

"Alex," McQuade said as he took a seat next to Alex's desk.

"Hey, Deputy Inspector McQuade," Alex said smiling. He was still in a good mood.

"Nice suit, going anywhere fancy today?" Inspector McQuade joked.

Alex did not think it was particularly funny, but pretended to enjoy the joke.

"So Alex, I know you asked before if you could be transferred to the Hate Crime Task Force."

"Yeah, I was just asking about it. I really think I can do some great work there. I was reading the FBI criminal statistics, and hate crimes have been on the rise nationwide, especially in Brooklyn. There are some white supremacy gangs forming and attacking targeted victims, many of whom are Hispanic," Alex said.

Alex then heard some sort of scoffing noise coming from the direction of Francola's desk while another police officer, who was hovering over Francola, laughed.

Undeterred, Alex continued. "Not only that, but there's always been a high incident of anti-LGBTQ violence, especially towards the trans community, and many of them are Hispanic. Tina is making a documentary on it right now and I've seen some cuts. I know any victim would feel much safer speaking to a sympathetic detective who can speak their language and..."

Alex turned to look in Francola's direction, and saw the two men stifling a laugh with a third officer joining them and giving them a _can you believe this guy?_ look.

"Alex," McQuade interrupted, "why don't we talk in my office?" Alex suspected that McQuade wanted to give him some time away from the others who seemed to be ridiculing him.

"I don't mind you telling me the news here," Alex said, "if you do not mind sir, unless of course you're telling me some sensitive material." Alex did not want the other men to think he had been intimidated by whatever school-yard style bullying they were enacting. Alex heard one of the men whisper something along the lines of thinking his news was too good for the _peasants_ to hear.

McQuade sighed. "If you're sure; this has to do with your request and your future with the squad."

Alex gave McQuade a look that indicated he was not budging from his position unless McQuade commanded Alex to go to his office. A part of Alex felt as if he gave in to their taunting; causing some anger to rise inside of him that he was keeping in check.

McQuade relented. "I asked around, and the heads have no interest in sending you to the Hate Crimes Task Force," McQuade said bluntly and apologetically.

Alex could feel the other eyes in the area on him at this moment. Some of them were probably gloating about this news inside their heads. It was also beginning to dawn on Alex that every time McQuade approached him as of late, it was always coupled with either a lecture or some disappointing news. Alex did not say a word, but he did not hide his disappointment.

"The Hate Crimes Task Force only has seventeen detectives for the entire city right now, and the budget has not been earmarked to provide for more detectives." McQuade answered.

Francola made a remark about the money going to _important_ things instead. The old Alex would have started something with him, but funnily enough, working for the NYPD and seeing how other officers treated suspects or even witnesses made Alex reevaluate how to react to people looking to get a rise out of him. His refusal to be _one of the boys_ was also one of the reasons he may not have been popular with some of his colleagues.

"Do you have something to say, Francola?" McQuade barked.

Francola shook his head and turned his chair to the opposite direction. This caused the other officers who were standing around Francola's desk to scatter.

"Just to be clear, this is not any indication of how the NYPD and the City of New York views hate crimes nor is it any commentary of their importance. Got it?!" McQuade said loud enough to reach further than Alex's semi-enclosed space. The other officers around nodded their heads and vocalized their understanding.

McQuade then faced Alex again who was still reeling over this bad news. "The main reason they don't want you going there is because the heads of the departments have reviewed your work and went through your record. They are very impressed with what they've seen in the short time you've been a detective."

Two years did not seem like a short time for Alex. Since then he had handled hundreds of cases, or at least they seemed like hundreds considering how tired and overworked he had been feeling since he became a detective. What was daunting for Alex was that he knew many detectives spent even more years, or even decades, before they made any career progression. This, however, was not a career progression but a simple transfer request. Well, not simple, Alex just found out.

McQuade continued, "They clearly see what I've seen in you for the past 15 years, Alex." McQuade said smiling. He continued, "What they see is that you're clearly one of the brightest we have on the force."

Alex was actually embarrassed by being told all of this.

"And after you helped with that counterfeit operation in Manhattan," McQuade said with a pause to look in Francola's direction. McQuade continued, "They think you have the right attitude for a different kind of department switch."

This took Alex by surprise. He felt Francola's eyes on him. Although this seemed like good news, McQuade looked forlorn.

McQuade continued, "They plan on easing you off of the Precinct Detective Squad and put you onto the Major Case Squad. Your vacation starts this Friday, and after you come back from vacation, they'll assign you one last case with Yvette and then transfer you there."

"The Major Case Squad?" Alex asked. A million thoughts entered his mind. Alex will be transferred to the Special Investigation Division. The Major Case Squad handled cases like kidnapping, burglary of banks and their safes, bank robberies, burglaries and larcenies of trucks with contents worth more than $100,000, hijackings of major transport vehicles, or any commercial robberies of large amounts of money. Usually the NYPD and FBI dealt with those cases together, meaning Alex will help with federal cases on a regular basis. Some of these cases could also deal with large conspiracies and organized crime. In New York, these types of cases were much more common than in other cities since it was one of the financial hubs of the world.

This also meant he would be transferred to One Police Plaza in Manhattan. This only meant about a half-hour commute by subway, but Alex did not ever think about working in Manhattan full-time. The last time he had to regularly commute to Manhattan was when he attended NYU. He always imagined himself staying in Brooklyn.

"Yeah, we did not want to tell you this, but that counterfeit case I had you take on because I owed a favor to the precinct deputy there, it was sort of a test."

"A TEST?!" Alex yelled louder than he intended. Alex did not appreciate the underhanded way they went about this.

"Yes, because that case dealt with tapping into an organized crime syndicate revealing a much bigger conspiracy. You were able to get the bigger fish on that case rather than settle for arresting the small vendor. Suffice to say, you passed with flying colors." McQuade said proudly.

"That means, I will no longer be your direct supervisor," said McQuade. That statement gutted Alex. He had always worked in the 90th Precinct and McQuade had been with Alex every step of the way since he started with the NYPD. McQuade had taken Alex under his wing and provided specialized mentorship.

"I just wanted to tell you that I've seen you grow and blossom here, and I know you'll do all of us at the 90th Precinct proud. We'll talk more when you had time to process this." McQuade smiled, patted Alex on his shoulder, which he then used to help prop himself out of his chair, and walked to his office.

Alex overheard Francola say something about teacher being without his pet. Alex wanted to wallop him badly, but kept his composure. Alex still had a lot of work to do today.

Alex did not know what to think about working without McQuade being there to guide him. He always assumed he would be with McQuade this entire time. Even with Alex asking about a transfer to the Hate Crimes Task Force, he'd assumed he'd be able to focus on hate crimes happening in Brooklyn since those were municipal and state crimes. Plus, Alex was only asking about the Hate Crimes Task Force, not actually requesting a transfer. This was different, and Alex will now be dealing with federal crimes; and working with a whole new culture of people.

About fifteen minutes after McQuade gave Alex the news, it seemed word had already spread to many of his fellow colleagues as they were offering their congratulations. Yvette and Alex spent nearly an hour talking about his transfer and expressing how much they would miss working with each other. Afterwards, Alex proceeded to spend the next few hours of writing reports and reorganizing thick files.

At around 2:30 pm. Yvette and Alex decided it was time to get lunch. As Yvette brought her beef and broccoli with brown rice to her desk, Alex grabbed his lunch bag and took out the omurice Tina had prepared for him this morning. Although it was no longer piping hot, it was still warm and smelled delicious.

Alex laid out his plate in a somewhat organized manner. He placed his container of omurice at the center, put his yogurt on the right corner, placing his chopsticks and two spoons carefully on each side where he felt they made the most sense.

He heard Francola make some sort of scoff, which indicated to Alex that he had been watching him as he did that.

"What's that?" asked Yvette wide-eyed.

"Oh, Tina made it for me," said Alex feeling a sense of pride of having such a pretty plate of food.

"That is fancy!" exclaimed Yvette. "I wish Thalia could cook like that. See the benefits of cohabitating, Alex?" asked Yvette smiling.

This prompted Alex to think about how many times he would regale her stories and even issues he had with Tina. Yvette and Tina had met a handful of times and Alex remembered after their first meeting, Yvette told him to "put a ring on it." That memory put a smile to Alex's face.

"Of course it's fancy," said Francola obviously annoyed at their conversation. "Nothing is too good for Prince Charming," Francola spat eyeing Alex up and down as he bit into his sandwich that seemed to be filled with lunchmeat. This had been the first time Francola used that nickname to Alex's face.

Alex chose to ignore him while Yvette rolled her eyes. They continued speaking going over some of their favorite egg dishes.

Daniel then hurriedly stomped to his desk carrying a plastic bag containing a Styrofoam container filled with halal lamb and chicken combination over rice with extra white sauce and some hot sauce with salad that he bought from the cart outside. "Hey, it looks like we're all having rice!" Daniel said excitedly.

This prompted Francola to munch on his sour cream & onion Utz-brand potato chips in Daniel's direction.

"What are we all having?" Daniel said oblivious to Francola as he shared an order of falafel with his fellow area mates. Daniel offered Francola one, who actually gratefully accepted.

"Just some beef and broccoli with brown rice," answered Yvette. "Thalia makes me eat brown rice now."

"Prince Charming here is eating some carefully crafted omelet with eggs that came from organic, cage-free hens," Francola said mocking Alex.

Alex went ahead with his meal and enjoyed his company _sans_ Francola.

* * *

"Do a lot of people call me 'Prince Charming'?" Alex asked when Francola left his desk to run an interrogation, most likely badgering some suspect.

"Some do," Yvette admitted. "A lot of them are either Francola's friends or assholes who are like him. Most don't though."

Daniel concurred. "Don't worry, everybody has nicknames around here. They called me the "Ragin' Leprechaun" for a while because I blew a fuse once at McQuade."

"You lost your temper at McQuade?" asked Yvette stunned.

"It was because of some red tape I came across on a case that he told me I had to drop."

"But why would they call me 'Prince Charming'?" Alex asked.

"It's because..." Daniel said apprehensively.

"Because you're bougie," Yvette interrupted.

"No, I'm not! I grew up in a backroom apartment attachment to my family's Bodega in Fort Greene," Alex said.

"Ooooh, your family owned a Bodega, how fancy! My family could barely afford to buy food in one," Yvette said, joking with Alex.

"Come on, Yvette." Alex said, pleading with Yvette to sympathize with him.

"I mean you have some really nice tailored suits, and you do sort of walk like you own the place, and that Rolex, and you wore that fancy winter coat with those fancy scarves last Winter..." Daniel said. "I've been a detective for years and I still buy my suits from discount warehouses."

"Hey, the Rolex was a gift from Tina, and her parents own a tailor shop, and they demand I get my clothes tailored. About my clothes, Tina's sister has connections so I can get my clothes for cheap...ish, and I can make some calls to get you some too," Alex added.

"No thank you," said Daniel, "I already had a nickname, I don't want another one like the Prince of Wales or something."

"I thought your family was Irish," Yvette said.

"Northern Irish stock," Daniel answered.

"Anyway," Alex interrupted, "it's not a nice nickname. It's like they use it to dismiss me or all the work I do."

"Don't take it to heart," Yvette said, "they're just jealous. And it means you have standards. That's a good thing. Just do you and don't be anything you're not."

"I agree," said Daniel, "plus, you should just keep doing your work and you'll get recognized. You already are. That's all that matters."

Alex still did not feel better. He sensed Yvette and Daniel could feel it.

"Come on!" Yvette added. "Prince Charming, Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of!"

Daniel then joined in, "Don't you ever, don't you ever; Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome!"

Yvette and Daniel started clapping and singing along to the lyrics of Adam Ant's "Prince Charming" and picked Alex up to do a silly dance. This prompted some of the others in the precinct to join in to encourage Alex despite the fact that there were outsiders coming in, as always, to make a report or some other serious business. All of a sudden people started chanting "Prince Charming; Prince Charming."

Alex did feel better.

After lunch, Alex called his parents to tell them the news. He had to explain what it meant. Both of them were excited about the idea of a "promotion" but then expressed some worry about the dangers of the job. Alex attempted to reassure them that his new position would be just as dangerous as his current one. That did not ease anything.

Alex then texted the rest of the team the news to which they responded with their hearty congratulations although Gaby requested that he call her after his shift so he could explain to her what it actually meant – meaning how much more dangerous was his new assignment.

Alex did not text or call Tina because he wanted to wait to tell her face-to-face at home tonight. He told the others not to tell her either so he could be the one to break the news to her. _Maybe I should order something special to celebrate_ , Alex thought. _Maybe even champagne_.

At around 5:30 pm, Alex saw a familiar figure looking around the office with a clerk speaking to her and then point towards his direction.

"Tina!" Alex exclaimed as he shot up to greet her. Tina never visited the precinct before. This was an unexpected surprise. This caused many of the workers around him to turn towards him and then stare at her.

"Alex," Tina said clearly uncomfortable with this attention. Alex saw she was lugging her camera and carried a plastic bag full of food. "How was the omurice?"

"It was great thanks! A lot of people were impressed." Alex said beaming.

"Oh, it's nothing to be impressed about. It was just eggs over rice," Tina said sheepishly. "Took ten minutes really." Tina quickly added. Yvette gave Alex an amused look.

"Oh, hi Yvette!" Tina said not noticing Yvette's amused look she just gave Alex.

"Hey Tina," Yvette replied back.

After Yvette and Tina exchanged pleasantries, Tina took a seat next to Alex.

"I was in the area with Koji scouting and shooting some exterior shots for the final edit, and I brought you some dinner you can eat later."

" _Em,_ you didn't have to do this," Alex said.

"Oh, it's nothing," Tina said handing him a bag. "It's just pork katsu with rice and gravy. We had a late lunch at Morita's and I just grabbed it for you."

"Wait," Alex interrupted, "why are you bringing me dinner?"

"Oh, that's why I came by," Tina said, "I'll be in the studio late tonight, and I won't be coming by the apartment because I need to finish the final edits at home."

Before Alex could protest, Tina continued, "I have to finish this before Friday so that way we can spend your vacation together uninterrupted. I'm hoping to submit the final edit to the studio on Thursday and just be done with it."

Alex did not have anything to say to that. It was true that if Tina finished her movie now, they'd have the whole week together.

"I understand," Alex said putting on a brave smile. "Go and finish your movie so we can enjoy ourselves later."

Tina smiled and Alex squeezed her hand. He hoped Tina would give her patented kiss on his cheek, or even a lip one, but she was readying herself to leave without giving him anything. _Not even a hug_ , Alex thought. Alex knew she was too embarrassed to do any of that here. This prompted Alex to take it upon himself to kiss her on the cheek. Tina looked embarrassed, quickly said bye to Alex again, and hurried off.

Right after Tina left, it seemed the entire precinct turned their attention to Alex and made various sounds that sounded like the "woooo" sound from a 90s sitcom when two characters kissed. Alex reddened and told them to cut it out while laughing to himself. Yvette raised an eyebrow to him, while Daniel gave him a thumbs up.

Alex was ready to make a few phone calls to follow up on some lab reports he requested, when he heard Francola grunt. Although Francola could have been grunting at anything, Alex could not help but ask him, "What's your problem?"

Francola turned his seat towards Alex and asked, "Are you talking to me, your highness?"

"Yeah, I am!" Alex yelled. Suddenly, the hustle and bustle of the precinct froze.

Francola looked around, assessed the situation, and simply said, "nothing."

* * *

At around 7:00 pm, Alex was reviewing interrogation tapes on his computer; wearing headphones while taking notes. This was making Alex sleepy - a sign that he needed to take a break. He pulled off his headphones and walked towards the break room in the back to grab a coffee. As he was about to enter the break room, he overheard Francola laughing it up with some of the other officers.

"Boy, when I saw that piece of ass, I tell you, I would have hit that shit so hard."

The officers who Alex knew were friends with Francola laughed, while some of the other officers in the vicinity looked visibly uncomfortable, especially the women. They would probably not report Francola to HR because they did not want to seem like they were causing trouble for their fellow officers.

"Hey, man, I think you need to stop that talk," one of the male officers said. "That's not appropriate and besides...you shouldn't be talking that way about the girl of one our men like that."

"God! When did we get so Goddamn so 'PC' around here?" Francola yelled. "When I started on the force, guys could be guys and have locker room talk! And why shouldn't' we? We bust our asses every day and risk our lives. But when we want to have a little bit of fun and shoot the shit, we get our asses hauled to HR like we're some Goddamn terrorist!

"And anyway, that goody-two-shoes isn't one of us. Look at the way he walks around here acting like he owns the place. He only made Detective so fast because he kisses McQuade's ass! I was on this force way longer than him! But he passes me over for all the plum assignments, and now he gets that transfer! Hell! Not just me, all of us! He just fast-tracks his way around here."

Everybody went quiet. Francola looked apologetic after his tirade making it seem like he knew he went too far. But then he continued.

"So, I say we say whatever we want about him and his little Chinese piece of ass! Where he order her from? Probably fresh off the boat. But you see the way she was with him? Cold fish! Now if that was my girl, she'd be all over me and I'd be giving it to her all night. Maybe he's too fancy to know to fuck a girl right. That's why she don't want to spend the night with him. Man, if I pounded her, she'd be begging for more screaming 'me love you long time! Sucky Sucky time!'"

Alex did not remember how he ended up on top of Francola, but he knew that right at that moment, he was pounding his face hoping to knock the life out of him. Francola got a hit on Alex's cheek while Alex got another hit in before they were being pulled apart.

As the other officers were pulling them apart, Alex felt Yvette and a few other officers holding him back. Alex saw Francola was also being aggressively held back himself.

"Come on, Prince Charming! You wanna go? Let's go!" shouted Francola, flailing to get free from the other officers' grasps. Alex saw in his eyes a wild rage indicating that he wanted to kick Alex's ass more than anything else in the world. However, Alex's rage may have been even hotter.

"Yo man, say whatever you want about me, I don't give a shit! But say a word about Tina, and I'll fucking knock you till your dead!" Alex yelled.

Despite all the officers and even superiors telling them to knock it off, both were too hot and angry to stop.

"Oh, now you wanna act all hard and tough. Go ahead and go to your new department. You don't belong here! You're not Brooklyn!"

"I'm not Brooklyn? I'm from Fort Greene motherfucker! Raised all the way! Where else would this accent come from? I'm more Brooklyn than you!"

"No, you ain't! I'm Williamsburg born and raised with family dating back from the 30s!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" yelled McQuade. Everyone stopped and it seemed time stood still. McQuade gave a look around the break room. "You are lucky this room is so far in the back that none of the others in the office heard what you were saying. I want everyone in this room to tell me what happened so we can deal with what needs to be dealt with with HR. How dare you conduct yourselves in this manner? We are officers of the law. If any civilian saw this, where do you think their confidence in our department will go?" The other officers took McQuade's words to heart, including Alex and Francola.

"You two, in my office now and sit there quietly! Don't even say a word to each other, got it?" McQuade commanded.

Alex felt his knuckles swelling and knew he must have been developing small bruise on his cheek. He sat quietly next to Francola still reeling from everything Francola had said. He still wanted to knock Francola's brains out.

More than an hour later, McQuade walked into his office and sat at his desk looking extremely disappointed at the two officers.

"I received an account from everyone in the room. I have two conflicting stories here. One group says you started the fight," McQuade said looking at Alex. "The other said you did," McQuade said staring at Francola.

"I ain't no snitch," Francola said fully serious.

"Grow up," McQuade responded. "You are a detective, you better come clean now. One story I heard involves some disturbing things you said Francola. You better disclose them now. You're going to have to deal with that with human resources," McQuade said.

"Yeah, what else is new?" Francola said as if that was the story of his life.

"Alex, I want you to leave this office, go see the medics, and then sit at your desk and wait for me to call you back in." McQuad said.

Alex left leaving Francola and McQuade to talk about what happened.

After an hour, Alex was called into McQuade's office. Alex expected Francola to pass him up smugly and make some snide comment. However, Francola's eyes looked as if they were red and puffy. _That could have been from the beating Alex gave him, though_ , Alex thought. His face was starting to look like hamburger meat. He passed Alex without incident with his head hanging low as he walked to the medic.

Alex entered McQuade's office and took his previous seat.

"Well, Alex, you're lucky. Francola admitted to what he said and how he engaged you."

Alex was taken aback.

"We are putting him on a leave of absence after we figure out how to best deal with the sexual harassment and the race-based comments in the office. This precinct will not tolerate this sort of behavior. But you did throw the first punch, didn't you?" McQuade asked.

"I did," Alex admitted.

"I guess I should say 'punches'," McQuade said offering some levity. "Alex, you cannot physically assault someone, no matter the reason. Even for the things he said."

"But Inspector..."

"Alex," McQuade interrupted, "no excuses!"

Alex slumped in his seat.

"You are a detective on the track for an incredible career here. This will jeopardize everything, including your transfer. It may result in a suspension for you as well and will go on your record." McQuade said.

With that Alex felt utterly defeated.

"Or it would have."

Alex looked up at McQuade confused as to what he just said.

"Lucky for you, Francola will not report this or file a complaint. He even told me not to press any grievances against you."

With this news, Alex was gobsmacked.

"Francola and I had had a long talk, and he recognizes he should take some time away from work. He's been going through some personal troubles and he probably took a lot of that on you. He won't finish his shift. He's going to turn in his badge and gun for the time being while we deal with his future with the force. Most likely, he'll get a suspension, probably with pay, have a mark on his record, will have to go through sensitivity training, will have to formally apologize to all the people who heard him say the things he said, and will most likely be transferred to another precinct." McQuade said. "He really ran the gamut, didn't he? Sexism, racism, and sexual harassment." McQuade added.

Alex contemplated what had just happened. Francola let Alex off the hook.

"Alex, I'm not excusing or making allowances for Francola, and he will be dealt with. And I know what he said about Tina, and I do not know if I would be able to do so at this moment if I was in your shoes, but, if you have it in your heart, have a talk with him, one-on-one, after your shift ends tonight. He wants to apologize."

With that Alex left McQuade's office and headed to his seat completely dumbfounded. _Hell no, I'm not going to talk to that fucker._ Suddenly, Yvette and Daniel took Alex aside and led him to one of the empty interrogation rooms. As they made their way there, Alex saw a bloodied Francola receiving some medical attention surrounded by his friends in the force. Alex wondered what Francola was telling them.

Alex told Daniel and Yvette everything that happened in the break room and what happened with McQuade. They both agreed that it served Francola right, especially with the way he had been running some smear campaign against Alex for the past year. Both also felt Francola got a slap on the wrist for the things he did and what he had said about Tina.

After that, Alex went back to his desk. One part of Alex was incredibly angry with himself for the way he lost his temper and violently attacked Francola. He was a detective now and he needed to check his emotions. What if someone on the street made him that angry? He could get sued and even arrested for police brutality. Another part of him was frustrated that he could have put his whole career in jeopardy. But the much bigger part of him felt he was absolutely right for doing what he did and wanted to do it again. He could not forgive Francola for what he had said about Tina. Just thinking about it made his blood boil.

* * *

Alex finished his shift at around 10:00 pm. As Alex exited the precinct, he was met with some more congratulatory messages from his colleagues, including some of Francola's friends and sympathizers about his transfer. Some even complimented his punching abilities, including some of the patrol officers who he saw snickering at him at the gym this morning. Alex's violent act may have gained him the respect of some in the precinct.

Alex exited the doors and breathed a sigh of relief. This was a day he could not forget fast enough. As he Alex was walking down the stairs, he heard someone hurrying towards him.

"Fernandez."

It was Francola.

Alex refused to acknowledge him and continued walking.

"Hey listen, I just want to talk. Can we just grab a drink or something?"

"No."

"Come on, Fernandez. Just give me a few minutes, hear me out."

Alex turned to face Francola ready to tell him off until he saw Francola's defeated demeanor.

"Ok."

Francola and Alex sat on the parking chocks behind the building of the 90th Precinct. It was closed off to the public, so Alex felt like they could speak privately and air out all of their grievances if they had to without any member of the public getting wind of what had happened between them.

After some moments of silence, Francola took in a deep breath and spoke.

"First, I want to say I'm sorry about what I said about your girlfriend."

"Tina," Alex added.

"Tina, right. Anyway, I'm sorry. I have no excuse. I don't know why I said that. I just did."

Alex did not care for that apology at all.

"She's a person, Francola," Alex said.

"I know Fernandez," said Francola.

"No, you don't know," said Alex. "Is that how you talk about all women?"

"Listen, men will be men alright," said Francola.

Alex was about to get up before he punched Francola's lights out.

"Wait, wait...ok, that aside, regarding _Tina_ , I didn't really mean any disrespect towards her. It wasn't about her. I just wanted to get at you."

"You didn't even know I was there," Alex responded

"Yeah, I know. It's just I wanted to hurt you anyway, even if it was behind your back. Like a little bitch. I should have just said what I felt about you to your face."

Alex did not respond because he did not know how to respond to this _apology_.

"I also wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you," Francola added. "I guess you know that I've been saying some nasty shit behind your back like saying you didn't deserve all the stuff you've been getting like the promotion, the cases, and now your transfer.

"I guess I was jealous. I saw the way you dressed and how young you were and the way you commanded respect from everyone. I didn't get it at first. Me and you we have different ways of doing our job."

"You can say that again," Alex added.

This prompted Francola to chuckle.

"Some of us, we gotta be tough and aggressive to get the results for the case. It's always been about solving the case."

Alex did not believe that as he felt some of them were drunk on their title and power. Alex could not find any excuse for the time Francola put a suspect's life in danger by refusing to allow him access to the medication he needed thus nearly killing him. Even apart from the fact he would have destroyed the case, the disregard for human life disturbed Alex.

"What about the time you nearly killed that kid? Was that just you being tough and thinking about the case?" Alex asked.

"That? I..." Francola looked as though he was preparing to defend himself. But then he slouched indicating he was going to concede.

"You're right. No excuse for that. I let my emotions get the best of me. I just, I thought I could get him to confess if I held out a little longer and he was getting more desperate, I...had I known how important that medication was, I wouldn't have done that. I'm not a killer, Fernandez."

Francola hung his head low and stared at the ground.

"It was a bad judgment call, and I narrowly dodged a bullet. You...did you ever make a mistake? Or went too far? It happens in our line of work. There are times we'd do something differently."

"Not that," answered Alex truthfully. "For one, your method would have been ineffective as you could have been getting a false confession since he was desperate enough to not die. That sort of confession has been proven to result in wrongful convictions. Secondly, you put the whole precinct in danger for nearly being liable for his death. And third, it's basic human decency."

"See, this is what I mean. I mean not saying you're wrong, but that's the attitude that made us think you were a shit. We saw you swoop in here and you were so...I don't know "goody-two-shoes" and holier-than-thou about everything and then you were solving your cases left and right. We didn't know how you did it. Some of us thought it was obnoxious.

"I can't speak for anyone else, but I was jealous of how you did it. With a mug like mine, I can't play nice. I get my results by playing bad cop. Usually good cop only gets results after the bad cop does his work, but you seemed to not need to play those tricks."

"I'm no goody-two-shoes," Alex said, "I've made bad calls and mistakes as well. I admit them."

"Like what?"

"I've lost my temper like all of us, made some bad calls, jumped to conclusions, followed some wrong leads, it happens," Alex said. "Plus, I don't solve all of my cases."

"Nobody does," Francola said, "but you have to be completely blind not to see you were having a great run here. Then I saw you with your expensive ass suits, and things, and the way you carried yourself; it made me think you had an easy life."

"Man, you don't know my life," Alex said.

"I know, I know." Francola added, "I get it was all in my head. I started imagining shit about you. I guess today, I lost it after I heard you got that transfer."

"Did you even want a transfer?" Alex asked.

"Nah, I always wanted to be a part of the Brooklyn Precinct Detective Squad."

"Then, why did you even care?"

"I don't know, man. I don't know what McQuade told you, but I've been letting my personal life affect me here. I think that had something to do with it. I just saw you getting whatever you wanted, and it made me think of all the shit I ain't got."

"But I didn't get what I wanted. I wanted to be on the Hate Crimes Task Force," said Alex.

"Yeah, but you got same thing, it was a transfer to a cool squad. Hell, a better squad than the Hate Crimes Task Force. I mean, what is a hate crime? All crimes involve some level of hate. Don't make sense to me."

Before Alex could respond to the wrongful assertion Francola made, he continued.

"Listen buddy, I'm sorry for taking my problems and my frustrations out on you. Somehow, I had it twisted in my head that you were like my enemy or were like showing me what was wrong with my life.

"I went through a bad divorce some years ago, and been struggling since then. We were together for 12 years, and then she left me. Said she couldn't handle my mood swings since our daughter, Christa, died."

Alex did not know this about Francola. Not that any of this excused his behavior, but Alex was curious. Then he saw Francola crying.

"We lost her to leukemia three years ago. She would have been 10 years old this year. We spent all of our money on her treatment. Racked up so much debt. Moved to a bad neighborhood cause rent was cheaper. Lucky, we got her into St. Jude's towards the end, but it was too late.

"And I'd do it all again for that chance to save her. But we still lost her. My wife and I were just fighting all of the time, blaming each other. Can you believe that? Blaming each other for a cancer that was nobody's fault. But strange shit happens when you're grieving. It was easy to blame each other. To blame the other person for all the anger you feel when you unfairly lose a child. Take that hurt and turn it on the person closest to you. I guess when you blame someone for your problems, it makes it feel like you're in control. I guess I did the same to you. Hating you meant the shit I had going on could be blamed on you and I could control it by making other people hate you too."

Francola then broke down sobbing into his lap. Alex did not embrace him or anything, but offered him a Kleenex from his sports bag. Alex always made sure to have Kleenex on him because having tissue to sneeze into on public transportation goes a long way to ease other people's fear in this city. Francola gratefully accepted the tissue.

"When I saw your girl...Tina, I think I lost it. I heard you talking about her for a long time working next to you for the past two years, and then you spoke about her today and how she packed you that lunch. I thought you just had it made when I had nothing. I thought I had it in check, but when I saw her up close like that, it really hit me that you had everything. And I got really jealous. Again, reminded me of what I didn't have. I guess I just wanted to bring you two down a peg." Francola said. "I'm sorry Fernandez...I truly am," Francola added.

Alex and Francola sat on a parking chock silently. Alex contemplated what he was feeling. He wasn't ready to forgive Francola nor think he was a good person considering the near police brutality he committed. But he could not help but feel bad for the guy at this moment. His feeling bad did nothing to assuage the anger he still felt for the way he had treated him and the way he spoke about Tina.

"You shouldn't forgive me, Fernandez. I wouldn't. If someone spoke to my Cathy like that, I'd pound him too and never forgive the bastard."

Francola then turned towards Alex and said, "I will say, I'm glad to see that you know how to pack a punch. You got me real good." Francola then pointed to his face, and Alex laughed.

"Well, I'm glad I finally did something that earned your respect."

"Nah, Fernandez, deep down you had my respect. I was just too jealous to see it. But I was only jealous because I wish I was more like you I guess." Francola then took a look at Alex's Rolex and pointed at it. "I hope you didn't scratch the face. It's a real nice piece."

"Yeah, Tina, bought it for me actually," Alex said smiling. "It was really sweet of her. She doesn't make a lot of money, but she saves up and gets these really meaningful gifts."

Francola smiled.

"I may look a certain way to you, but I'm just a regular guy really. The stuff I have, it's only because it was either gifted to me or I had something to help me make it affordable on our salary," Alex said. "I mean Tina's the only reason I have fitted suits. Her parents do it for me. Not that it matters if I had money though, right? It's about the work."

"Sounds like some girl you have," Francola said.

"Yeah," Alex said smiling.

"How did you two meet anyway?"

"Oh, we just met as kids. You know, kids in the neighborhood."

"Fort Greene kids, huh?" Francola asked smiling sincerely.

"Yeah, Fort Greene proud. I met Tina through my baby sister; they're best friends."

"Oh, so not only a Brooklyn girl, who are the best kind of girls, but also best friends with your sister? So that means even your family must approve then." Francola added.

"Boy do they," Alex said forgetting for a moment he had mixed feelings about Francola leaning on extremely negative, "they can't wait for me to marry her. They and our friends think it's been a long time coming."

"What are you waiting for? If you guys were Italian with all that going for you, you would have had four kids by now."

Alex chuckled at the thought, though he admitted to himself that having kids with Tina would be nice. The best actually.

"It may not seem like it now, but Tina and I had sort of a rough path getting to where we are now. Dated as kids actually, then that fizzled out because we were kids. Then dated again in high school, but broke up sometime when I was in college. You know, feeling like we had to see other people, stuff like that. Then when I first joined the force, I pushed her away. We've only just gotten back together a little over two years ago."

"Yes, that happens a lot."

"I didn't know that at the time, I was trying to protect her you know? Did not want her to be with me if she would always be worrying about my safety or something like that. And I was working on some pretty scary beats and cases. It was overwhelming and I didn't want the added pressure of making her worry about me."

"Only thing harder than being a cop is being with a cop. We put the ones we love through hell." Francola said looking as if he was reminiscing. "Cathy and I, before we really got divorced, almost got divorced when I joined as well. She didn't think she could handle being a cop's wife. Then we had Christa somehow with all the fighting...well I guess because of all the fighting, you know it's a big turn on some times," Francola joked.

Alex couldn't help but laugh. He knew that all too well.

"But there ain't nothing like having that love man. Cathy and I still talk some times. It's hard to let go."

"Why don't you try working things out with her, man?" Alex asked.

"Too much baggage, I think. I don't know. I shut down a lot, that's what she says, and she says when I shut down, it comes out in bad ways." Francola said.

"I don't know you or Cathy well enough for this to mean anything, but maybe open up to her. Open and healthy communication is the most important thing for any relationship."

Francola chuckled. "I wasn't expecting getting love advice from you. I was supposed to be apologizing."

"Yeah, well, that's what I'm good at apparently," Alex said making note that he gave two people love advice in a span of a week.

"So, you and Tina dated when you were kids? How old were you?"

"I was 12 and she was 10," Alex said finding the idea funny now.

"What do you mean by 'date'? Like did you take her to the skate park or something? Went out for an ice cream cone? Or was there more?"

Alex snorted then he felt the need to show off, "Well, you know, lots of hand holding and stuff."

"That's some action man!" Francola joked.

"Hey, there was some kissing too!"

"Really? At that age?" Francola said sincerely impressed. "Look at Casanova over here!"

"It was innocent, alright!"

"You must have had some game."

"Nah, it wasn't like that. I just really liked her. If anything, she had the game. She drove me crazy. I think at the time I was way more into her than she was into me. I think I was pushy."

"Pushy? What did you do?"

"Well, ok, I'll tell you. Our first kiss," Alex started.

"Were you two each other's first kiss?" asked Francola absolutely enthralled with this story.

"Yeah, we were."

"And you're probably going to be each other's last kiss," said Francola.

Alex had never thought about it that way before. _Wow, he's right. God-willing_ , Alex thought.

"Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, so we were pretty active kids and we liked solving mysteries...don't ask." Alex said before Francola could ask more questions about their mystery-solving youth.

"She was in the school news action team, and I liked detective stories. That's how I met McQuade. I knew him since he was a Lieutenant."

"No wonder you guys were close. You were solving mysteries with him since then. I didn't know what he meant when he said he observed for your 'fifteen' years. Now I get it." Francola said, seeming to now understand why McQuade took Alex under his wing.

"Yeah. So anyway, we were investigating this guy who illegally buried some barrels full of toxic waste in a plot of land. What happened was that years later our community started a garden project to feed the people in the neighborhood and to beautify it. Well the food in the garden made people sick and we wanted to find out who did it."

"Fucking asshole!" Francola responded.

"Yeah, I mean how much would it have cost him to properly dispose of them compared to secretly burying them in the neighborhood? Crime always costs more." Alex said.

"When you're caught," Francole interceded.

"True. Anyway, so Tina with her camera and I planned to film him shredding evidence."

Francola had an expression on his face as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

"But he caught us! Then he chased us! So Tina and I hid in a truck full of garbage. We were both really scared, but I couldn't show it, you know. I had to protect her."

"My man!" Francola said as he slapped Alex on his arm. Alex couldn't help but smile.

"So, and I don't know what made me say it, but I told her, something like 'well whatever happens, at least we're together.'"

"SMOOTH!" yelled Francola.

"Nah, it wasn't. It's just what I felt at the time. I was glad to be with her. And then after I said that, I just kissed her. On the lips!"

Francola started laugh-crying. "Oh man! That story is too much! You guys were really something. Man, what a great memory to have." Alex joined him in laughing.

"Man, well we should go, but Fernandez, thank you for hearing me out."

"No problem, Francola. Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I'm going to take some time off to decide what I really want to do. Maybe it'll recharge me and lighten me up."

With that Francola and Alex shook hands. Before Alex turned to leave, Francola called out to him.

"By the way, you really are Prince Charming. Prince Charming was a hero, right? Well, that's what you are." Francola said. Alex knew Francola genuinely meant that as a compliment.

After this strange day with an even stranger ending, Alex sat on the bus and just wanted to get home as soon as he could. He needed to put this all behind him. He could not wait to just plop down on his bed and knock out. Thinking about that big comfortable bed made Alex the more eager to get there.

However, as Alex thought about going home, he had an uneasy feeling. It was gnawing at him. It did not feel right. After thinking about what was missing, Alex got off at the next stop even though it was not his stop. Instead, he found a taxi.

* * *

As it as nearly midnight, Alex did not want to wake Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen or Linda. Instead, he called Tina's cellphone.

"Hello?" answered Tina clearly being woken up by his call. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Hey, _Em_ , I'm at the door."

"You're what?"

"Please open the door. I didn't knock because I don't want to wake anyone up," Alex replied.

Tina opened the door and Alex observed her face going from slight annoyance to worry.

"Oh my God, Alex! What happened to your face?" Tina said, rubbing the spot where his bruise was. "And your hands! Come in now!"

"Tina, Tina, wait...I came by to ask you to come back to the apartment with me." Alex said after Tina dragged him inside her apartment.

"Alex, right now, I'm more worried about you. What happened?"

"Nothing, it was just something that went wrong with an arrest at the Precinct." Alex said. He thought that was a better story to tell than the actual story despite the fact that this may make Tina even more worried about his safety at his job. Alex never wanted Tina to know what Francola said about her - ever. His ego also did not allow him to tell Tina about the fact that some people had been spreading nasty comments about him at work.

Tina was checking Alex's face and making sure the medical team fixed him up properly as she said, "I told you I was staying home tonight. I have a lot of work to finish and I have to up at 5 am. But how can I sleep now seeing you like this? Oh _Anh..._ "

"I know, and I'm sorry, _Em_ , and clearly you were sleeping, but...I have a cab waiting and I...I really need to be with you tonight." Alex said. "Look at me, I just...I..." Alex stammered. Alex did not know what he wanted to say, so he just said whatever came into his mind. "I just can't sleep without you, at least not right now. I don't want to sleep without you. I just need you with me. I just need to be near you, I need to feel you. You just...you just have be with me. I can't take it without you." Alex cusped Tina's face in his hands and looked longingly into her eyes.

Alex then pulled Tina towards him and rested his chin on her head. Tina and Alex stayed in place for some time, before Alex finally let go. Alex looked down at Tina wondering what she would say.

"Let me just pack a few things from my room and the bathroom." Tina then walked towards her room.

Alex watched Tina go into her room when he saw Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen standing in the hallway.

Before Alex could apologize for waking them, Mr. Nguyen went up to Alex and examined his face and hands. Mrs. Nguyen started packing some ice in a rag cloth.

"Hi, Alex."

Alex turned and saw Linda looking forlorn. Alex waved to her. Linda then went into the bathroom to collect things for Tina to pack.

The Nguyens did not ask Alex what had happened, instead, they concentrated more on their concern for him.

Tina finally came out with some bags of the basic necessities that she needed. Alex quickly grabbed the bags from her. Tina then proceeded to hug her parents. They held on for some time. Then Tina and Linda embraced for what seemed like a few minutes. Alex saw that Linda had tears in her eyes. Feeling uncomfortable, Alex turned and saw that Mrs. Nguyen started to cry as she looked at her daughters, and then turned away hiding her tears. Mr. Nguyen did not break his gaze from Tina.

* * *

Alex and Tina sat side-by-side in the back seat of the cab. They did not say anything to each other. They simply enjoyed each other's presence. Tina applied the ice rag to Alex's cheek. Alex grabbed it from her and pushed it against his cheek.

As the ride went along, Tina laid her head on Alex's shoulder prompting Alex to wrap his free arm around her. He squeezed their bodies as close as possible as they made their way home.

Prince Charming and his lady started a new chapter in their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> This chapter really inspired a new idea for a truly plot-driven arc for the team involving Alex's new position in the Major Case Squad. I think I am coming up with a great idea for an actual mystery that will involve everyone! I have to rearrange some things in my outline so that the chapters I already have planned can implement that.
> 
> Next chapter…we'll see what's going with our favorite Galaxy Girl fan herself, Gaby!
> 
> Fun note:
> 
> I had a bit too much fun researching all the things about suits, shirts, and pants that I wrote so much about things like stitching and stuff like that and actually had a much longer description about it. But even as I was writing it, I knew it was to boring to read, so I decided to edit it down considerably as it did not make for the most fun read. It may still be too boring to read, but for any body looking for higher quality clothing, maybe you'll learn something, LOL.
> 
> And I originally wrote this long description of Tina making omurice that was basically telling you guys the recipe for it. Because I'm so proud of all the research, I copied and pasted those original paragraphs below. If you want to make it yourself and don't want to read what I wrote, then just watch Maangchi's Omurice video on YouTube! Here's the deleted excerpt:
> 
> Tina already had two pans heated up and was wiping excess oil on one of them. Tina took some chopped sausage and fried it in the pan that she did not wipe the excess oil from and then threw in the pre-chopped vegetables (green and red bell pepper, onion, celery, carrots, green chili pepper, and mushroom) and stir-fried them mixing them up. Then she added the leftover white rice she made last night for dinner. As Tina stirred, she squeezed a small amount of ketchup into the mixture and then placed them into a nice-sized small Chinese bowl.
> 
> Tina then quickly whisked some eggs into a bowl and poured the mixture into the hot pan she had wiped the excess oil. She began stirring the eggs into it was a very thin and very yellow layer. [Author tip: you can strain the eggs after whisking them and before cooking them to make it even more uniformly yellow! Tina knew that but she had no time to bother with that].
> 
> As that was happening, Tina flipped the bowl containing the stir-fried rice mixture upside down on a wide plastic container Alex recognized from one of the take-out orders he made last week. The rice was now compact in a huge dome like shape. After the eggs finished cooking, she peeled the egg sheet off and wrapped it around the rice. She then took the ketchup squeeze bottle and poured some on. Tina then closed the lip on container. She put the container in a new a charcoal YETI lunch bag he had never seen before with some utensils and a yogurt, she said was for cooling down after the eating a heavy meal.


	8. Chapter 7: Geography

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaby Fernandez is adulting. See her juggle being a graduate student in the Geography Dept. at Hunter College with being a VIP bottle girl at a night club in Long Island City. She's strong, she's capable, she's optimistic, she's adventurous...and she feels alone.

_Oh, geography_ _  
_ _Is gonna make a mess of me_

_Oh, geography_ _  
_ _Is gonna make a mess of me_

_Are you unhappy for me?_ _  
_ _I am unhappy for you_ _  
_ _All I can think to do_ _  
_ _Get you get you get you_

_Good good good good_

_But I don't know_ _  
_ _What I don't know_ _  
_ _Well I don't know_ _  
_ _What I don't know_

_Oh, oh_

_Fire compels_ _  
_ _Fire consumes_ _  
_ _You are a cheater_ _  
_ _You are too fireproof_

_You are fireproof_ _  
_ _I am a smoky plume I am_ _  
_ _Climb a ladder up to_

_Your bedroom_

\- Thao Nguyen

 **Saturday, September 10, 2005** **at around 11:30 pm - Tyre Nightclub NYC in Long Island City**

Gaby Fernandez rushed straight to the back room area to take a break from the pulsating electronic dance music drowning out the club. She quickly removed her heels feeling a rush of relief on her suffering feet. Gaby then sniffed her black V-neck mini dress with silver accents that she called her uniform to make sure it did not smell of cigarettes and marijuana. Smoking was prohibited inside the club, but since the latest smoking ban was only passed three years ago, some people still sneaked in cigarettes to smoke in the bathroom or on the dance floor. As the night wore, people usually became more brazen about openly smoking either cigarettes or marijuana - usually wrapped in cigarillos.

Gaby opened her locker and checked her Samsung E250 slider phone that she was just getting used to after trading in her RAZR. Her mom admonished her for spending too much money and the fact that she just bought that RAZR. Gaby hated being lectured to, but her mom had a point. She became such a spendthrift ever since she took this job a few months ago. It was easy with all the tips she was making. Lenni joked about how she knew Gaby would have a lifestyle change after graduating college a few months ago, but Lenni had no idea it wouldcome so quickly.

Gaby then reminded herself why she checked her phone. She was hoping to see a message that Hector had arrived at the club. She needed to have a friend with her tonight, especially after going through that pregnancy scare earlier that week. Hector had told Gaby he would try to make it out to the club earlier that week. It was easy for Hector to come as CUNY School of Law was only about a sixteen-minute walk from Tyre or a nine-minute train ride on the N.

No messages. This was becoming increasingly common.

Gaby then decided to text Hector.

_Gaby: Hector, are you and your law school friends coming?_

_H: No, sorry. Have a lot of work._

Hector came to the club during his first week of law school with some classmates, which excited Gaby as she felt Hector would be able to come semi-regularly because he was now so close. But that first week was the only time he came to visit her at work.

_G: Come on, you're already in Long Island City_

_H: Gaby, I srly have so much of work rn._

_G: Ugh!_

_H: Sorry!_

_G: Nah, I'm just being bratty. Can't stand the scene right now._

_H: Yah, rather hang out wit u somewhere chill_

_G: Me 2_

_H: 2 bad ur wknds not free_

That was true. The downside of this job was that Gaby's weekends were no longer hers. Gaby just took solace in the fact that most people her age were either partying on the weekend or working these "non-working" hours.

"Gabrilita!" screamed her friend/co-worker/roommate Melissa Lopez. " _Jefe_ is on the floor, you better get back to your tables!" Melissa warned referring to their floor manager of the night, Ahsan.

 _Aye!_ Gaby internally screamed as she put her phone back into her purse, slammed her locker closed, and squeezed her tired, pinched feet back into those godless heels.

* * *

"Happy Saturday, ladies!" Gaby said as she, Melissa, and Mayteana Montalvo (their other friend/co-worker/roommate) laid a Grey Goose vodka bottle and a Patron tequila bottle with all the fixins on the table. Gaby carefully laid the bottles as the sparkler sticks burned and emitted the bright flames and sparks. The women in the table screamed in delight and took pictures with their cameras. _Like clockwork_ , thought Gaby.

"Let me know if you need anything else, ok," Gaby said with a smile, waiting a beat before she left the celebrating women to enjoy their Saturday. She expected Melissa and Mayteana to be behind her, but they had already left to check on their sections. As Gaby made her to another table, she saw the DJ throwing glow sticks to the crowd and yelling at the crowd.

"Scream if you're a single lady!"

Then the sound of screeching with some women hitting a pitch only dogs could hear followed. Gaby smiled at the exuberance the DJ displayed. He was outfitted with a NY Knicks baseball cap, a white T-shirt, and huge headphones. He did some choreographed dance moves with his arms that he learned from his time touring with Madonna, and then went back to spinning his records. Gaby loved that he had these old game boys he somehow programmed to play some 8-bit sounds to add to the remixes he created.

"DJ Pogi in the house!"

The crowd screamed some more as they bounced and fist pumped. Some on the dance floor played with the glow sticks DJ Pogi had thrown. Then as the music intensified, so did the smoke machine and theatrical strobe lighting. With what she could still make out through the smoke and bright lasers, Gaby saw the mix of people in all of their club wear. Gaby saw the herd of people wearing their shiny button downs, dark jeans, glittery dresses, and tight pants accessorized with the pure sweat and humidity expatiating into the air. The Saturday night crowd was different from the Friday night ones which had more of a mix of people either in their club outfits or their after-work ensembles. Either way, a lot of black-colored outfits were mixed in, as per usual in New York.

After Gaby served another bachelorette party that requested two more bottles with extra sparklers, Gaby saw Ahsan giving her that look she was so familiar with now. Every so often, the female servers would be "encouraged" to go out onto the dance floor, and dance with customers for a song or two. She turned and saw Melissa serving a group of VIPs. Melissa caught Gaby's gaze and gave her a look that said it was her turn. Mayteana was nowhere to be found.

Gaby then entered that sea of sweat and shimmer, and started to move to DJ Pogi's beats. She slowly danced her way to the front as she gently wedged herself in-between the warm, moist bodies. DJ Pogi and Gaby locked eyes. Gaby then started dancing in a more provocative manner. That was how she got him the first-time months ago.

DJ Pogi watched Gaby as his hands never left his records. DJ Pogi then changed the tempo from the slower, more seductive one he started with to a more hammering one. He started to bounce more as the music hammered on at a faster and faster rate.

Gaby kept up to the increasing thuds of the beats as she and DJ Pogi were throbbing along to a synchronized rhythm, partaking in their own ritual mating dance. Just then, a man grabbed Gaby from behind and started grinding up against her. Gaby had worked here long enough to know how to handle herself in this situation. She played along, slowly and seductively squatting low to the dance floor and then quickly shooting up. She continued to tease the man as he was grabbed her closer to his body. Then Gaby seductively danced along, running her fingers down his torso. Then before he could make his next move, Gaby quickly wedged her way out of the dance floor.

As Gaby exited the crowd, Ahsan shot her a quick glance. "You didn't stay there long enough," he said. But then followed up with, "Let me know if any of the guys get rough with you."

"Nothing I can't handle," Gaby replied.

* * *

Hours later, after closing, with the bright, warehouse-like lighting, Gaby, Melissa, and Mayteana sat in a VIP table as they pooled their tips together.

"Great shift tonight," Mayteana said. "I think we got rent for both next month and the month after in the past two weekends."

"Yeah, and all my tables were women," Gaby said.

"September is a great month," Melissa said. She had working there the longest out of the three, which only really meant a few months longer. "Summer is over, so people got their loan money from school and all those people working in the City are back and working hard. And as for women, usually they're way cheaper than men, but so many women get married in December. For some reason, people get married around Christmas, and so you get a lot of bachelorette parties from September to December, and they pay bank."

Gaby loved working with Melissa and Mayteana. She could always count on them to look out for her, and they would normally protect each other from more hands-on or more inappropriate customers. They would also cover each other's tables when the club became super hectic and nearly uncontrollable even with the stern bouncers.

"Hurry up and go home," said Ahsan. Ahsan could not have been any older than these three just-out-of-college women, but he was in charge of the whole floor on weekends. Apparently, he had been working in clubs his whole life and it was in his blood since his family owned it. They were all back in Doha, Qatar, so he was basically running this ship alone. Gaby always wanted to pick his brain to learn more about Qatari culture and what it was like growing up there. She also wanted to know why a Qatari family would name a club after a Lebanese city. However, Ahsan was always too eager to leave the club, usually with one of the female customers who sat in the VIP section. Tonight, it looked like one of the maids-of-honor from Gaby's tables.

"Hold your horses, Ashy!" Mayteana replied back double counting the money and evenly distributing it among the three women at the table.

"Come on, Las Tres Boriquas! I don't have all day." Ahsan replied in an increasingly thirsty way.

"How many times we got to tell you?" Mayteana replied, "I'm the only one of the three of us who has some Puerto Rican blood. Melissa is Colombian, and Gaby is Salvadoran. I'm not even born in Puerto Rico, and I have Nicaragua in my blood too."

"Whatever," Ahsan replied, "you know how many times I've been called Arab or Paki?"

"Paki?" Gaby asked, "Isn't that a British thing and a slur?"

"I've lived in London for a spell. And yeah, it's a slur, so be happy with the nickname you guys got around here, aight?"

"A spell?" Mayteana asked while handing Gaby and Melissa their share.

"Listen to him, all Harry Potter and shit," Melissa said counting her money.

"Las Tres Boriquas" exited the club in their everyday attire. No longer were they wearing their sexy black dresses in heels with their hair and all done-up immaculately. Mayteana opted for a juicy tracksuit with sneakers with her hair in double braids. Melissa decided for a tank top with a bare midriff and tight jeans, but with sneakers donning a ponytail. Gaby just wore a t-shirt and jeans and put let her hair run loose.

"I see you won't be going home tonight," Melissa said eyeing her and her gym bag up insinuating that Gaby was up to no good. Mayteana just quietly looked at Gaby and raised both of her eyebrows.

Just then DJ Pogi exited the club. He nodded a "wassup" to both Melissa and Mayteana.

"You ready to go?" he then asked to Gaby.

Gaby nodded in reply and waved Melissa and Mayteana off.

"You hungry?" he asked as they were walking towards his hotel.

"Not really. What about you Gabriel?"

"Nah, I'm good." He said as he lit up a wood-tipped Black & Mild.

DJ Pogi's real name was Gabriel Santo Domingo. They first met at the beginning of the summer when he was contracted to play at Tyre through the was an instant attraction between them. When he first wanted to hook up with her, Gaby at first said no because they basically had the same first name except, they were of different genders. In fact, they both had nicknames spelled "Gaby" except he pronounced his "Gay-Bee". Melissa thought it was cute and started singing "Gabriel y Gabriela" while Mayteana thought it was a petty reason not to date someone.

As Gaby got to know DJ Pogi better through the summer, their attraction grew to the point where they could no longer resist temptation. He did not talk too much, but when he did whatever he said never failed to make Gaby either smile or laugh. He had this unassuming swagger that was difficult for Gaby to put her finger on, while she wanted nothing more than to put her fingers all over him.

"Hey, those dance moves were tight, yo," Gabriel said as he inhaled his cigarillo.

"You liked it?" Gaby asked seductively.

"Yeah, they were fiya," Gabriel said increasingly softer as he smoked. He then exhaled the cigarillo smoke and grabbed Gaby in for a kiss. It was a long and messy one as their tongues explored each other's mouths.

Back in his hotel room, Gaby slowly fingered her way down from his forehead to his thigh. Then she caressed his thigh up until she felt his excitement throb against his pants. The foreplay beforehand and the tease of a tasty reward was Gaby's favorite part of sex.

She felt the pangs of desire and lust consume her and she knew he felt the same way. They quickly removed each other's clothes, unable to take it any longer. Patience was neither of their virtues. Looking at Gabriel's naked body, Gaby kissed around his various tattoos. She grabbed his shaved head and licked around the dome. He in turn mouthed his way around the nape of her neck and breasts as he grabbed her ass with an incredible hunger. Finally, when she felt she would explode out of sexual energy, she gave him the go ahead to enter her. This time, Gaby made sure he had a condom.

Their act of having their two bodies intertwined was an expression of sheer yearning to have their bodies become one. They both allowed each other to fall free into their passions. Gaby spent most of the week having her mind be consumed with academic papers, writings, and lectures that she needed this. As he thrust into her deep and pure, they both became free of mind with their hearts aligned for this moment.

Afterwards, Gabriel and Gaby lied in bed exhausted, satisfied, and a little bit sore. As they cuddled in bed, Gaby allowed herself to hear Gabriel's heart beating as her head rested on his chest. Her breaths synched to his breathing as Gabriel continued to kiss her head while tightening his hold on her body.

Gabriel suddenly said, "I extended my contract here. Took a bit of negotiation, but they offered to pay my hotel expenses, and offered me more money. Tried to get transportation, but couldn't do it. Still gotta drive."

Gaby looked up at him. She knew his summer contract was ending in two weeks, but she had been too afraid to ask him what he thought about their future. He lived in D.C. and DJed around that area for most of the week. On Friday nights, he then drove to NYC to DJ at Tyre on Saturday. She knew he was an in-demand DJ since his notoriety within the club scene increased after he recently toured with Madonna.

With Gaby not saying anything, Gabriel continued, "I did it for you."

Gaby reflexively kissed Gabriel. A part of her did not believe that. But a part of her did believe it. Gabriel was a straight shooter with Gaby. Before they first hooked up months ago, he told her that he was still married, but he and his wife were separated. At first, Gaby did not believe him, but she checked out his and his beautiful wife's MySpace pages and saw they both listed their relationship status as "Separated". The last time she checked Althea's page, she saw some posts of daily affirmations about heartbreak, which spiraled into obsessively looking at newly posted photos and then old photos. Gaby vowed to herself to never look at her page again.

"I just thought I'd give us a chance," Gabriel said as he squeezed her tighter.

With that, Gaby silently snuggled closer to Gabriel.

* * *

**The Following Week**

It was Friday, September 16, 2005.

Thoughts of Gabriel flooded Gaby's mind all week. Gabriel was not a man of many words and Gaby with him uncharacteristically became a woman of not many words. When Gabriel informed her that he extended his contract to an open-ended one, they did not discuss their future any further, nor did they talk about the logistics of him only spending two nights a week in NYC while he commuted back and forth. Gaby did not want to know. Thinking about the geographical distance between them was too much for Gaby at the moment. She rather enjoy this existence for now and would rather think about the future later. She just wanted to enjoy this feeling. Hell, Gaby did not even tell him about her pregnancy scare. The timing did not feel right, she thought.

Although it pained her to do so, thinking about her and Gabriel's relationship was a welcome distraction from both thinking about her shift tonight at Tyre and from thinking about her current task of inputting Dr. Ibanez survey answers into the SPSS Statistics software.

She was happy for the extra income being Dr. Ibanez's research assistant provided, on top of her scholarship from the Society of Woman Geographers, but those on their own were not enough to make a living. Furthermore, not many jobs offered her the quick cash that serving at Tyre provided.

As a student in her first year of the two-year Master's program at Hunter College's Department of Geography and Environmental Science, Gaby at first was ecstatic to be chosen as Dr. Ibanez's research assistant as it meant she would receive more hands-on experience in the field. However, once Gaby started, she was notified that Dr. Ibanez had already conducted and gathered the research she needed with her previous research assistants throughout the years. Those past assistants enjoyed being out in "the field" in Mexico. Gaby imagined all sorts of fun and frolicking in-between the on-hands experience they had received, unlike her.

Rather than be one of those fortunate assistants, Gaby had the unfortunate timing of being the assistant who dealt with indexing; organizing files; and inputting data into this hateful statistics software via a code it took Gaby a few weeks to learn properly. Even then, clerical mistakes from her were common. Just yesterday, she inputted the wrong data codes and messed up Dr. Ibanez's entire chart for her research study on how the high-altitude mountain regions surrounding certain indigenous populations in Mexico isolated them from the prevailing surrounding Mestizo communities – thus shielding them from the patriarchal, Catholic culture of the Metizos. For some of those communities, this resulted in a polygynous and matriarchal society where, due to land scarcity, a woman would marry a family of brothers to limit offspring so that land inheritance would stay in the family line without having to split it in too many ways among the offspring.

As Gaby continued to read the data before inputting this into this horrible code, the more fun she imagined her predecessors had interviewing the human test subjects. Gaby would have loved to ask the women about their views on the amount of autonomy, freedom, and power they had and compare it to what women enjoyed in most Western worlds. Despite the fact Dr. Ibanez's research questionnaire already included related questions, just thinking about losing that opportunity for herself made her angry. _If I wasn't going to do any surveying or questioning anyone, why did I have to take that human subjects ethics course and exam?_ Gaby wondered.

Gaby complained that all the fun work had already been conducted, and that she was now responsible for the boring part of the research, the actual book writing. Her parents were not sympathetic. They felt that because Gaby took every opportunity to go on many study abroad and field assignments during her undergraduate years, and because of the fact that she had already taken a year break before entering this Master's program, that she could afford a year or two of staying put in one location - doing more drudgery work.

In response, Gaby explained that first of all, she only did one study abroad semester, and those trips they referred to were in actuality just a few weekends or at the most a few weeklong educational laborious-heavy assignments where she was able to help out and learn about something new. Her parents responded with citing two summer abroad semesters she did. Gaby did not think those counted because they were _summer_.

Second of all, Gaby told her parents that although the traveling was fun, she had to work really hard as well and was already used to drudgery work because of it on top of balancing extra courses she had taken "for fun". This caused Alex to instantly respond that she had no idea what it was going to be like once she had to actually sit down and publish her own works, so she had better get used to it now. Gaby retorted that Alex had no idea either. But as Gaby was sitting here watching Dr. Ibanez write and painstakingly edit her current giant-sized chapter and ensuring every citation was correct, Gaby had to finally admit that Alex was right.

The silence of the office was driving Gaby crazy. To bring some noise to the office, Gaby said, "Dr. Ibanez, you know a great way to share your research to others is to join Facebook. It's a new Internet thing where academics and students can share notes and research papers with each other and make friends with people from other institutions."

"Like a Friendster or MySpace for colleges?" Dr. Ibanez asked, not looking away from her draft with a red marker in-hand.

"Yeah, like that," Gaby said, trying not to be reminded about MySpace.

"No thanks," Dr. Ibanez responded, still focused on her draft.

"But Dr. Ibanez, don't you want to connect with other professors?" Gaby asked, nearly whining.

"I think I met all of them…at least in this field, or at least the ones I wanted to in this country," Dr. Ibanez said uninterestedly.

Dr. Ibanez finally looked up at Gaby, saw her dissatisfied expression and continued, "When you get to be my age, you'll start meeting the people who wrote the articles and books you read and study, and you start thinking, ' _Really? Them? Really?'_ " Dr. Ibanez said while giving Gaby a "not impressed" look.

"But then academia is such a weird place that you end up marrying one of them like I did. Preferably from a different department because otherwise you'll just be stuck talking about the same esoteric stuff over and over again." Dr. Ibanez said still concentrating on her draft, scratching a whole paragraph with her red marker.

 _That doesn't seem so bad to me_ , Gaby thought. Then she shuddered.

Did she just see her future before her very eyes? She started thinking about all the people she met in this and other departments. They were not bad looking or uninteresting people, in fact Gaby liked most of them, but she didn't imagine herself settling down with any of them. Undeterred, Gaby responded, "But Dr. Ibanez, this is such fun data, why not share it with others?"

"Why do you think we're writing this book, Gabriela?" Dr. Ibanez said distractedly back to her draft.

"Think of it as good PR," Gaby responded.

"Well, let's revisit that when we finish this thing, shall we?" Dr. Ibanez finally looked up and smiled and then said, "We'll finish faster when you input that data."

This prompted Gaby to get back to work.

* * *

_This whole system is going to a mess of me_ , Gaby thought as she inputted another formula and then triple checking that she put the write codes in.

If you asked Gaby why she chose geography as her career, she could not really tell you why, other than the fact that she simply enjoyed it the most out of everything else she studied.

Gaby thirsted for knowledge and treated college as if it was a buffet. Gaby's favorite thing to say during her undergraduate years was that "life was a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death." She remembered that line during the time Tina forced her to watch a movie called _Auntie Mame_.

Living up to her favorite line, NYU presented Gaby with a banquet, and she devoured every morsel it offered. She joined all kinds of clubs, participated in a great number of campus events, if you could call NYU a "campus" as the city of New York was the campus, and graduated with extra credits because she took more than the minimum required amount of courses to graduate. She lived for attending classes and being a part of the scene. If she had it her way, she would be a career student. Since that was not a viable career choice, Gaby instead chose to seek a career in academia.

This was a long and winding road for Gaby.

When Gaby was closing in on her 64-credit maximum in her sophomore year before she had to declare major, she decided to treat the subject like a banquet as well. Her Freshman and Sophomore year were scheduled in a way to lead her to this moment that she knew would come.

During those years, she tried a few subjects to see which would stick, hoping that would lead her to the right major. Gaby's indecisiveness drove Tinacrazy as she already had her path planned. Alex, who was in his senior year when Gaby entered NYU simply rolled his eyes at Gaby's plan but took a hands-off approach, respecting her right to forge her own path.

By the deadline, she had narrowed it down to a field of study in the social sciences. She tried anthropology, but she did not like what she felt was a clinical, almost impersonal approach. She tried sociology, and although she loved studying human societal structures and how people interacted within those contexts, she felt it did not provide enough of a broad scope for her. It was geography that held her interest the most, especially when she discovered cultural geography.

She felt studying cultural geography was the best way to incorporate all aspects of what she loved the most about the social sciences. Gaby loved studying how people's local landscapes shaped their cultures and societies; and how people have, in turn, shaped those physical landscapes. Through this, she was able to delve deeply into people's histories and cultures, and then compare them with other cultures coming out of different landscapes.

Through geography, she also was able to approach relevant subjects like cultural hegemony or cultural assimilation via imperialism and colonialism, a topic she loved to talk about, as any member of the Ghostwriter team could attest. She also felt cultural geography allowed her to take a more personal look into people's behaviors and interactions from those societies.

In a way, cultural geography offered Gaby a jack-of-all-trades type of area of study. True to Gaby's "life is a banquet" approach to college where she sampled everything she could as if she had an insatiable appetite, Gaby herself felt like a jack-of-all-trades. Interested in and trying many subjects, but a master of none. Gaby's non-academic life reflected this as well.

For instance, Gaby loved Sci-Fi, particularly _Galaxy Girl_. She watched the original series, the comic book adaptation, the new animated series, the manga adaptation, and was excited about the up-coming film adaptation that was just announced and due to start production sometime in the next year. She decided to join Sci-Fi fan communities online and even thought to attend some fan conventions. She joined a well-known Internet message board with a high membership. She even roped Jamal, a true science geek, into joining. She wanted a friend with her as she dipped her toes into the pond of online Sci-Fi fandom. She even roped him to attend a fan convention for the same reason.

However, she did not enjoy the one Sci-Fi convention she went to nor the online community she and Jamal had joined. She realized she was not as "with it" as she had liked to be. Jamal, on the other hand, lived it up on the online message board and in the convention. On the online message board they most frequented, his username became one of the more well-respected ones, and he was even offered a moderator position, which he gladly accepted. All of his posts received a great number likes and responses. Gaby, meanwhile, felt somewhat ignored, or if she was not ignored, then she felt condescended to when she posted. She realized she would always be a _noob_.

That was not to say she did not enjoy some popularity herself, especially after revealing she was a girl and adding the URL to her MySpace page to her online profile that had an online picture of her. Gaby ended up taking that URL off after she started receiving strange private messages.

However, despite that, she saw how people responded to her compared to Jamal. At first, she dismissed it as misogyny until she realized many other female posters were more respected than she had been.

In the end, while Jamal embraced the online culture and enjoyed partaking in straight up online arguments and fights with strangers about certain Sci-Fi tropes and scientific theories, Gaby ended up leaving that community. She concluded that online communities sucked the fun away, and left Jamal to his own devices.

There was a time when Gaby thought about getting into the amateur music scene. Gaby loved to listen to music and dance. Because of that, she thought she'd be a perfect fit. However, once Gaby tried to put herself out there as a performer during some amateur nights, she found that her unwillingness to devote herself to one particular style or even styles made it difficult for her to focus enough to actually improve on that front. She realized she just wanted to do covers.

She then tried to participate in the local music scene just as a fan and possibly get into production, but found that although she would know enough to have great conversations, she could not delve any deeper into the more esoteric nuances of music the way Lenni was able.

Lenni allowed Gaby to attend some of her live performances and accompany her backstage. She even allowed her to accompany her to parties Gaby was in high school and then college. There, Gaby observed Lenni as she spoke to other musicians, even those from wildly different backgrounds and styles. Gaby saw how Lenni could spout off music theory and talk about a wide array of genres on a level Gaby could not begin to understand. She saw how Lenni glowed when speaking about hip hop, trip hop, and electronic dance music music. Lenni's love of music extended to her personal life as she had met her former fiancé Kyle through the music scene. Gaby saw how both Lenni and Kyle would talk about song crafting and music arranging amongst themselves and with other musicians and aficionados in a way that made Gaby realize just how much work went into it. This then showed her how much she was not interested in delving that deeply into it.

For her part, Lenni would try to explain to Gaby how to listen for the notes that were not being played on Jazz recordings, and how to listen to commonalities in music for mixing purposes and musicological reasons. Lenni tried to teach Gaby more about music theory despite the fact Gaby could not read music notes or play any instruments. In fact, Gaby never learned how to sing properly.

Gaby tried to learn by osmosis by having Lenni tell her stories about her experiences performing with other artists and in front of audience, probably the part Gaby was truly interested in, but that only made it clear that it was something Gaby could not relate to on a true level. Gaby ended up learning a great deal, but she also felt she learned that there was so much she did not know and probably would never know.

This did not prove to be useless endeavor, however. All this knowledge Gaby attained from Lenni came in handy when she and Tina worked at Tower Records part-time in high school and parts of college.

When it came to finding music selections for customers, she would often recommend what she remembered from what Lenni and her musician friends would talk about. Gaby would read in music magazines and books Tower Records sold to expand her knowledge for selling purposes and to avoid looking like a "poser". Gaby would try to repeat what she read without actually listening to most of the tracks she recommended, though for her part, Gaby did try to listen to as many as possible on the electronic machines Tower provided to customers so that they could preview almost any CD the store carried.

Working at Tower tested Gaby's abilities as a quick thinker. She learned that if someone had asked her for a recommendation for a new artist of a specific genre that she was unfamiliar with, she could simply recommend that the customer wade through the newest compilation discs within that genre, and then use the preview machine to listen to those compilation discs. Then if they liked a particular track(s) from those compilations, then they could check out more work from that artist(s) through that machine. In more desperate times, she would simply call Lenni from her work phone to ask her for recommendations.

Gaby also loved movies. After being sick of working in the music section, Gaby begged the store manager to put her in the DVD section with Tina, who quickly worked her way up as a lead seller – thus becoming Gaby's supervisor. Gaby imagined all the fun she and Tina would have gossiping and talking about movies they enjoyed and sharing those movies as recommendations to customers. However, Tina turned out to be a stern taskmaster, so it was not all fun and games.

Gaby also realized she did not know much about movies except for simply catching one that she wanted to see in the theater. When Tina would help the more particular customer wade through all sorts of films coming from all sorts of New Wave movements and speak about things like cinematography, editing, and symbolism, Gaby found herself sitting back and observe and try to mimic some of that language.

Gaby would pop off names that Tina personally named as inspirations, such as Errol Morris, the Maysles brothers, the Coen Brothers, Hal Ashby, Hou Hsiao-Hsien, Jane Campion, Edward Yang, Satyajit Ray, John Cassavetes, Krzysztof Kieślowski, Ingmar Bergman, Jean-Luc Godard, Francois Truffaut, Ida Lupino, Yasujiro Ozu, and Tina's personal idol, documentarian Trinh T. Minh-ha. Gaby said those names with such confidence that it was as if she came up with that list on her own. Gaby still remembered it because she made a rap about it in her head to help her remember. She would even remember titles, key words, and even specific scenes in those directors' various films for customers.

At least, she did all of that until Tina found out, and then complained that she was copying her recommendations. Tina seemed more offended over the fact that Gaby did not really understand what she was recommending to customers as if she was protecting the legacies of her favorite directors. Tina tried to encourage Gaby to just be herself and to recommend movies she truly liked. Gaby hated doing that as her recommendations always seemed so common in comparison. Tina tried to make Gaby feel better by informing her that Tina herself was no expert on such things and was constantly learning, which actually made Gaby feel worse about how much she did not know and needed to catch up on. The way Tina would talk about movies to customers or co-workers, who were real cinephiles, made Gaby feel left out.

There was a time when Gaby accompanied Tina as she made her student films at NYU. At first, Gaby planned to interfere with Tina's films and force her way in front of the camera. However, Gaby quickly learned that Tina took the process so seriously that this was not going to be like the times she would force Tina to make her a news anchor for Washington Elementary News.

Gaby also learned that every time she interrupted Tina, Tina would lose precious time and resources (and film!) and would seriously hinder Tina's ability to make her film and negatively affect Tina's grade.

After realizing that and feeling guilty about the handful of times she made Tina's life more difficult, Gaby offered to volunteer to help Tina behind the scenes to make her job easier. However, she quickly learned that filmmaking was a tedious process. A lot of waiting, a lot of preparation, a lot of labor, and a little bit of luck with making sure the environment was right for a particular scene. Gaby also saw how Tina painstaking ensured actors felt comfortable, helped them with their lines, worked with cinematographers to ensure the lighting and look was correct because different lighting would affect the entire film and could potentially change the whole message and thus the end product.

After the painstaking preparation, Tina would be ready to shoot. Even that was not straightforward. Tina needed her crew and her actors to shoot limitless takes in different angles until Tina finally got the right blocking she needed and the tone of the scene correct. Tina would then do it multiple times from different angles. Gaby then saw how Tina would have to piece it all together in post-production to where a thousand disparate shots became one cohesive whole. Then she would see Tina have serious debates with herself about whether she wanted long shots, short cuts, close-ups, wide angle shots, and music cues. While Gaby lost patience for this entire process really quickly, she observed how happy Tina was with the entire thing even when she was going crazy and ready to rip her hair out from her head.

Sometime after Rob first came back to New York and rejoined the team, Gaby decided she wanted to be a more serious reader. She would haunt local bookstores with Rob in the hopes of having some of his knack for understanding deep complicated themes and for being able to describe situations with such language to provide a vivid picture rub off on her. Gaby desperately wanted to become more learned about literature. And if it so happened helped her improve her vocabulary, the better.

Although Gaby joined Rob on these outings as to improve her literary knowledge and to teach her how to read in a different way, Gaby also had an ulterior motive. She wanted to hang with Rob as she was nursing a childhood crush on him. She fell for his loner, sensitive, skateboarder, pained author style. She also thought he was seriously handsome liked his lanky body which differed so much from her own. She also liked that he was dramatic at times, to which she could relate.

However, through these outings, Gaby got over her crush on Rob. Rob took on this project with gusto. He first recommended all sorts of titles to Gaby. At first, she did not mind, and she would read what she could, and enjoyed them. But then, Rob became increasingly pushy. He carefully crafted what seemed to Gaby a limitless list of titles and authors for her read based on what he perceived to be her age level and interests, with the idea of expanding her literary horizon. Then, he would pester her about whether she had made any progress on his list. Gaby realized then and there that she was not so in love the act of reading to the point where she would read multiple titles, multiple times a week the way Rob was. Rob would devour a book and take copious amounts of notes and write in his notebooks or even the margins of his books.

Simply observing him would made it clear to Gaby that she would never reach his level of interest or knowledge in literature and poetry, and that she and Rob were not compatible. She also realized that Rob communicated to her as if she was his little sister, and how that would never change with him, especially when she compared it to how he spoke to Lenni. She still thought he was undeniably cute and attractive, though.

Gaby loved stand-up comedy and sketch comedy shows. She felt it was brilliant how the comedians would be able to take regular everyday observations and form astute commentary on them in a hilarious and entertaining fashion. However, speaking about certain comedians with Casey intimidated her as Casey would talk about which jokes which comedian stole from other comedians or how certain lines could have been written or landed better. Then Gaby observed how naturally astute and hilarious Casey's reviews of certain videos they would watch were. Gaby realized that did not come easy for her.

Gaby was good at comebacks, though. Through the strength of Gaby poking fun of Alex, she felt that she could be beneficial to Casey when she agreed to form a sketch comedy duo with Casey, as a hobby as Casey told her she was not going to do it as a career. When Gaby was on her movie, music, and reading kick, she thought she could help Casey implement some of what she learned into their routines. She had imagined topical skits set to song.

However, it became clear that Gaby got in way over her head as Casey rapidly took over the project since Gaby's contributions, she recognized, just were not close to being ready to be performed for the public. Casey would not only have more astute topical observations, but she would fix Gaby's rhymes for some of her musical comedy bits to make them much funnier and flow better. Gaby realized that as hard as she would work on it, she did not have the natural ease Casey did when it came to knowing what was funny. She also saw how difficult it was to translate funny ideas into presentable products for audiences to enjoy.

This idea of forming a comedy duo with Casey fizzled out in the end. However, Casey would sometimes text her for her feedback on certain jokes and ideas she had, which Gaby happily contributed some one-liners or basic premises to make Casey's ideas hit harder. She was glad Casey saw some value in Gaby's input and hoped to keep Casey's love of comedy alive.

Gaby had always been socially aware and active. Being part of the Ghostwriter team with similarly-focused friends simply nurtured that aspect of Gaby. While in college, Gaby became more politically-aware with the Bush administration and the War in Iraq being the driving force. She, like many others, felt the whole political make-up of this country was fucked up. Once Gaby decided to become more active, so did the rest of the Ghostwriter team. However, Hector would be the one most consistently right there with her.

Gaby was happy to have comrades with her to fight against the machine. However, at a few protests, rallies, politically-theme conferences, and retreats she and Hector attended, she saw how Hector would speak to hecklers or those wishing to debate the merits of whatever it was they were advocating for. Hector would get into these heated, but informed exchanges with such fervor and passion. Gaby was flabbergasted at times with the way Hector could spout off all kinds of American policy, law, and institutions and its effects on the various populations within the American populace that Gaby did not know even existed.

At first, she wanted to delve deeper into such topics, but she realized she was happy to let other people represent her views in that manner while she focused on big picture ideas and harm to communities on a broad, if vaguer, level. She saw how Hector's eyes would shine in debate and he became much livelier and even _actorly_. Even while hanging out with Hector one-on-one, as she often did, all she wanted to do was hear him talk about various political subjects as he saw everything as being political.

Although Gaby agreed with him that you cannot really separate people from their politics, sometimes she needed a break from that, while Hector became more energized with that notion. Gaby then started relying on Hector to advocate for views she held but could not argue as thoroughly as she wished. She realized her strengths would be a background player for causes she believed in while allowing others more qualified be the representatives of such causes.

However, through her own reading and knowledge she learned from Hector and some of his undergraduate friends in the Political Science department, she found she could get away with certain things by just spouting off certain popular theories and buzz words that any Poli-Sci student could spout off. Surprisingly, doing just that could shut down a lot of arguments with people she had.

As an active member of the Ghostwriter team, Gaby obviously loved mysteries and the idea of justice. Growing up with Ghostwriter and solving many problems in the community, she fantasized about a future that featured her solving mysteries with the team.

As the team grew older and started showing other interests, she kept this fantasy alive with Alex. Out of all of the team members, Gaby knew Alex's interest in justice and law enforcement never wavered. It was this part of Alex that Gaby had so admired and led her to believe she could simply join Alex in his crusade to administer justice throughout their city.

Gaby would never admit it as she was often annoyed by him and she, in turn, loved annoying him, but Alex had always been Gaby's hero and would be for the rest of her life. Ever since they were young, she admired Alex and the way he simply went for things and had this strong sense of right and wrong. She also loved the way he carried himself with such swagger that came with the confidence of being so confident of what was right and wrong and what justice looked like. Alex's sense of purpose was infectious, and Gaby thought she could come along for the ride.

When Alex first notified his parents that he was studying sociology at NYU with focusing on classes in criminology, urban studies, and law and society to prepare himself for the NYPD, Gaby was not surprised. It was inevitable. It was actually Alex deciding on sociology as a major that inspired Gaby to think that it could have been a viable major for herself as well. After she actually took some sociology courses in a school like NYU, the fact that Alex studied sociology and still became a cop amazed Gaby to this very day.

However, Gaby's experience with the Ghostwriter team and working with then-Lieutenant McQuade, did teach her that the NYPD did provide a valuable service, and that many in the department were honorable people who shared Alex's and the teams' sense of justice. She knew it sorely needed people like Alex in it. Her experience in the Ghostwriter team made Gaby feel it was not far-fetched for her to follow in Alex's footsteps.

Attempting to understand Alex, to satiate her love of solving mysteries, and to start a possible the path towards the NYPD, she would at first help him with problem solving exercises as he trained his brain to be more observant to find clues and evidence that most people would skip over. Then she helped Alex study for his numerous exams in his crime-related courses. This involved a lot of real-life case study and understanding of how systems can encourage criminal behavior even by just naming certain "natural" human actions as "criminal". Gaby enjoyed this at first. She even imagined herself and Alex reshaping the NYPD.

However, once Alex joined the force, things changed. She observed Alex go through police training after he graduated college and saw how rough and tumble it was. She then saw the types of cases he had to deal with from his time as an on-beat police officer to now as a full-fledged detective. Even without knowing the specific details for confidentiality and investigative reasons, Gaby knew that profession was not for her. It required a person of strong fortitude to be able to see those cases up-close-and-personal and still hang on to one's sanity.

Gaby also now felt that institutions and structures punished people severely for actions that did not deserve such severe punishment. She disliked how these punishments possibly ruined someone's whole future and did not provide any sort of meaningful rehabilitation. In other words, enforcing the law was not in the cards for her.

There was also another reason why she decided law enforcement and detective work within the NYPD was not for her. This one was more personal and dealt with real fear...fear for her brother. This started when she quickly decided the NYPD was not for her, and she would instead stick to catching reruns of all the _Law & Order_ shows on USA Network, or better yet reruns of _New York Undercover_ on some local channel she forgot that had played it. She always thought Alex would grow up to be Detective Eddie Torres, which made her feel immensely happy and proud. That was until she caught a rerun of an episode where that character was blown up in a revenge killing.

After seeing that episode, Gaby, started to increasingly worry about Alex. She knew her parents and the rest of the team did too, especially Tina. However, they, unlike her, were better at not annoying Alex with their worry. Well, at least, her parents and Tina learned later on not to openly worry so much, especially after Alex had a rough first year balancing his job and his familial relationships resulting in a particularly bad break up with Tina that lasted about seven-to-eight months, if Gaby remembered correctly. With Gaby's current worries, Alex would reply that his cases were not that exciting or dramatic, to which Gaby felt he was lying or at least holding back on for her sake.

Through her experiences with the members of the Ghostwriter team as they pursued their endeavors, Gaby found herself having with wealth of basic knowledge on a variety of subjects, but she did not feel as if she was truly an expert on any. However, she realized she was good at living the philosophy of "fake it till you make it."

Having this much "useless" and "vast", if not "deep", knowledge made her a great general conversationalist and a sought-after person for trivia nights. This also made her good at her weekend gig at Tyre where she would be encouraged to make small talk with the ballers spending wads of cash or swiping plastic on a huge paper trail of a bill. The more she spoke to them, the more they wanted to stay and send more money. Although this made Gaby feel more like one of those Japanese hostess girls rather than a waitress at one of the trendiest night club spots in Queens, she appreciated all the tips she made. Three nights a week at Tyre Nightclub NYC was more money than she had ever seen from any of her previous workweeks, especially at the Bodega.

Although her scholarship, research assistant position, and other grants took care of most of Gaby's tuition, Gaby needed supplemental income to pay for her rent, groceries, and basic necessities plus whatever expenses that came up, and Tyre provided more than enough.

Her parents still had no idea where Gaby worked or what kind of work she was doing. She only told them she was serving at a restaurant on weekends. Not liking the idea of Gaby working long nights at a diner that could interfere with her studies, they had offered her a job at the Bodega. Gaby thought trekking all the way to Brooklyn, when she attended school in the City on 68th and Lexington and when she lived in Jackson Heights, Queens was too much traveling in different directions for her. Just going home from the Bodega would take over an hour, and that's on a regular weekday where trains were more reliable (right, MTA?). Her parents suggested she simply move back in with them, but Gaby tasted too much freedom already and declined.

Tyre also fit perfectly with Gaby's school schedule. Not only that, but Gaby had gotten used to the new cash flow she had not been accustomed with growing up. Therefore, between being able to work with her friends, having more cash than she had ever seen, and it being flexible with her schedule, this gig was perfect for her.

However, this job had its drawbacks as well. It was the type of place where if Gaby told the clientele she was "in school," the male clientele would nod their heads as if they heard that one before and say she was lying as so many girls at these and even spicier clubs were "in school". Some of them then thought this minor interaction was an opening to be more flirtatious and to even proposition her. At first, she would answer back in her patented Gaby Fernandez smart-ass way. That seemed to shut them up quickly, but then she would get complaints resulting in her not receiving the more lucrative sections, and thus further resulting in her making less tips than the other waitresses.

Gaby then learned to "play nice". At first, it destroyed her soul a little inside, but as time wore on, she started becoming numb to the nonsense the male clientele gave her when she realized that she really did not care what those men thought about her. She learned that by not bringing up school and playing the dumb, club girl that those men wanted her to be, her tips would increase substantially and that some repeat VIP customers would actually request her service.

When Gaby first started, she would wonder what Ghostwriter would think if he knew about the type of place she was working at and how she compromised herself for money. Then she would say, "Well, he didn't have to eat or pay rent," thus dismissing whatever it was he would have thought. Plus, it was not like she was having sex with anybody for money. Then she would stop thinking about it as thinking about Ghostwriter pained her too much.

Gaby also successfully convinced herself there was an academic spin she could put on her working at Tyre. She rationalized her decision to stay at Tyre by deciding to look at this as an opportunity to observe a set of people in this unnatural landscape tailor-made to appeal to their sensibilities and desires in the same way Gloria Steinem worked at the Playboy club before writing her expose on it.

This club made Gaby come in direct contact with a totally different socio-economic side of New York that she had only became acquainted with at NYU when she would at times share classes or have dates with a bunch of rich people who had wholly different upbringings from hers. She would view this from an anthropological perspective she thought to herself. She would speak to the clients and ascertain more personal information as they drank and whose lips would get looser as the night wore on. She would use that information to determine how their environments, past and current, dictated their weekend celebratory habits.

So far, Gaby was able to divide clients on gender, racial, ethnic, and socio-economic lines. She would then compare them or use them to figure out nuanced differences among seemingly similar people. For instance, the richer students who went to NYU with her were either transplants who could afford to do so or were born-and-bred upstate types who grew up summering in the Hamptons while she enjoyed the peasant beaches at Coney Island or the Rockaways. They had money and flaunted it. However, even the worst of her fellow students did not compare to the way the guys at this club would throw money around. These guys flaunted their money in a much more explicit and brash way as if it was just confetti or empty MetroCards, since people mostly paid with plastic these days.

Gaby deduced that these people were a new kind of rich, ones who did not observe the slightest sense of decorum old money people thought they had but their privilege and lack of awareness just meant they had a more acceptable and aloof way of flaunting their wealth. Although she served some of the old money types that were finally enjoying the plush finance jobs their family connections and advantages in life had brought them, Gaby suspected this club was getting mostly members from the _nouveau riche_ she had read so much about. Ones that were no different from her manager Ahsan and his family.

First, how many of the old money types would go all the way to Queens to go clubbing even though Long Island City was basically the top tip of eastern Manhattan. After several conversations, Gaby deduced that these customers probably had more in common with Gaby's upbringing than the rich kids she went to school with. Some of them probably did not know what a beach was growing up. Their aggressive spending and low-mannered flaunting were an expression of finally enjoying life in a way they had dreamed but did not get to previously experience. It was also a show of power.

This little exercise made it easier for Gaby to continue working at Tyre.

* * *

Gaby decided to give herself a little break from inputting data, and re-read Tina's email about the dinner party she was hosting at Alex's apartment next Friday. Thinking about Tina saddened Gaby as of late. Although Gaby and Tina texted every day, and tried to chat at least twice a week over the phone, she knew Tina was becoming increasingly unavailable to her. This started last year when Tina was one of the few graduates from NYU's Tisch School of Arts Undergraduate Television & Film program to find employment in her field. Tina had intended for her job at a small studio making human-interest featurettes for public and cable television to only be a one-year stint in-between graduating college and then joining NYU's Tisch School of Art's Film & Television Graduate Film program to obtain a Master's degree like so many of Tina's heroes did.

Gaby was at first truly excited for her best friend. Tina had forced Gaby to watch enough of her student films from middle school through college to know that her sheer interest, aesthetic, and sensibilities of keeping things authentic without ceremony made Tina the perfect fit for this job. Tina thought the job would allow her to build up her filmography before she took the risk of trying to make "lyrical" narrative feature films, something Gaby knew was Tina's ultimate dream. Gaby could not wait for Tina to follow her dreams as she felt it would coincide with Gaby following hers even if Gaby still had not been too sure about what her dreams actually were.

Re-reading Tina's email made Gaby nostalgic and sentimental. Sitting at her desk in Dr. Ibanez's office, Gaby reflected on a typical, indistinct night of her and Tina lounging around Gaby's Jackson Heights apartment. It could have been any night as they all blended in together. They were some of Gaby's favorite memories.

* * *

**_On any given night during Gaby and Tina's college years_ ** **.**

_Gaby and Tina lied down on Gaby's bed in their sleepwear as Tina paid close attention to a movie she put on Gaby's television._

" _Stop hogging all the popcorn, you're just as bad as Alex!" Tina demanded as she grabbed the bowl from Gaby._

" _No, I'm not!" Gaby protested as she grabbed the bowl back spilling some popcorn and the kernels onto the blanket. "Now look at what you did! Crumbs on the bed." Gaby said mock tsking at Tina._

" _You Fernandezes really love your popcorn," Tina said laughing._

" _Whatever, aren't you going to shush me during this important scene that shows the director's intent to show the contrast of freedom and captivity by societal norms or something?"_

" _Hey, you remembered what I told you the last time we watched this movie!" Tina said happily pointing to the scene._

" _See how Michelle Yeoh and Chow Yun-Fat are sitting at that table surrounded by all that grey and concrete, and then there's that small square window showing all that lush green from the trees? Ang Lee intended the room to represent their characters being trapped by traditional Chinese mores since they wish they could be together but society dictates that they cannot. It's showing that they are in their own prison, while outside that prison is the freedom they could have if they just get up and exited that room. It's within their power, but they are so tied down by acting honorable, they simply cannot. That's how society traps all of us."_

" _Ok, I didn't ask for a lecture," Gaby said rolling her eyes grabbing a handful of popcorn and tossing it into her mouth._

" _Hey, it's interesting alright," Tina responded, grabbing some popcorn from the bowl._

_After the movie finished, Gaby and Tina decided to try avocado masks, which Gaby made too much of and decided to use the rest as dip for corn chips._

" _I cannot believe we're vegging out like this," Tina said._

" _I'm so tired of you being so worried about your figure," Gaby said truly annoyed with it. "You're stick thin."_

" _No, I'm not. Look at this fat here!" Tina said pointing at her stomach._

" _That's just baby fat," Gaby said, pinching Tina's cheeks. "You still have some of that. It'll go away. You're thin," Gaby said._

" _You sound like your mom," Tina said, pushing Gaby's hands away._

" _Just be glad my mom took you back in," Gaby said, "after you nearly went off and married..."_

" _Hey, don't bring that up!" Tina said laughing, knowing Gaby was only saying that to get a rise out of her. "And I didn't almost_ ** _marry_** _anyone."_

_Gaby snorted and accidently spit out some corn chips._

" _Ewww!" Tina said, quickly getting up and grabbing some paper towels._

" _Sorry!" Gaby said, unable to control her laughter._

" _Anyway, that wouldn't have happened if your brother didn't become such a brooding mess, pushing me awa, and forcing us to break up when he joined the force. Your mom knows that."_

" _Hey, he was acting like that to all of us. We didn't go off and meet some other..."_

_Tina then playfully shoved a pillow at Gaby, "Some other what? Brother or Son?"_

" _You know what I mean," Gaby said, laughing with avocado smeared around a corner of her mouth._

" _Listen, missy, even though you already know this. Our fights were bad and Alex made it clear he didn't want to be with me."_

" _Or anyone," Gaby interrupted._

" _Yeah anyway," Tina responded sounding more actually annoyed now. "I waited for him to change his mind for like three months. Then it became abandonment, ok."_

_Gaby then stopped as she realized she may have went too far making Tina relive a memory that may have actually been painful for her. She had only meant to playfully push Tina's buttons. She knew she had a tendency of going too far, and she felt as though this was one of the times where she did that. She just assumed that since Tina and Alex got back together, they could joke about it now. "Yeah, I know, but I just didn't expect you to go off and meet someone so quickly. And have it be so serious." Gaby still could not help herself it seemed._

" _Yeah well, Alex and I are back together ok...I just hope we stay together..." Tina said._

" _You will," Gaby said full of confidence._

" _Sometimes I don't know," Tina said. "We broke up twice already...well three times if you count the first time when we were in middle school. What if something else happens, I can't keep doing this, you know?"_

" _I know we've talked about this before," Gaby said, "but don't you and Alex...didn't you guys talk about this when you got back together this time? I mean it's been a while now that you've been back together and you're still back together. You guys look very happy now."_

" _Well, remember, it wasn't that long ago that we got back together, and when we did, we didn't really talk about it...it was like I don't know...magic that it happened and it was just understood. I think we were just so happy to be with each other that we didn't really talk about it...we were both high from it. Still are...but now that I had more time to reflect...we never really had a conversation about our future. I guess we're just going with it and see where it takes us."_

" _You guys don't make it easy for yourselves, do you?" asked Gaby._

" _Well, it keeps you guys entertained, doesn't it?" asked Tina jokingly, obviously hiding some discomfort. "Anyway, don't you feel weird asking about your brother's love life?"_

" _Well d'uh!" answered Gaby, "But that's the problem of having a best friend dating my brother. You think it's hard for you? I can't even ask you questions best friends would ask – like 'how is he in bed' and stuff and please don't answer that. Me just saying that just now is really creeping me out."_

_Tina rolled her eyes._

_With that, Gaby and Tina removed their avocado masks, cleaned their faces, and shut out the light for bed. Gaby and Tina lied side-by-side in the dark as various noises from the street played as if it was a lullaby...a loud, obnoxious, and at times vehicular style lullaby. Gaby loved this part of the night as it was the closest she got to experience what it was like to have a sister._

" _Tell me the story of us, please," Gaby said as if a child wanting a bedtime story._

" _Again? Why do I always have to tell you stories when we're together?" asked Tina._

" _Because it's payment for me having to listen to you give me a cinema studies lecture," Gaby answered._

" _Fine..." Tina said. "In the future...not too long from now...actually very soon, I'm fresh off of NYU with my Master's degree in hand when I get an opportunity to pitch my movie..."_

" _Which one is it going to be this time?" Gaby asked knowing Tina always changed the movie in this story._

" _Well, since we're talking about Alex and me earlier, how about...a disaffected and aimless young woman of Vietnamese-descent who sleeps her life of away because her dreams are better than reality. She only lives day-to-day working as a hostess without daring to think about any dreams or the future because it hurts her too much...and all she sees is an existence of men continuing to use and abuse her...she's just living for whatever pleasures she has now..._

"... _and then she meets and falls in love a handsome man of Salvadoran-descent, full of swagger with the most adorable smile and accent, who has a sense of right and wrong, but one that is unyielding, inflexible, and at times oppressive. She senses that he, like her, is lonely and wants to hold on to someone who he thinks can give him something that feels like solid ground. But when they come together something magical happens between them, and despite the serious red flags, they fall in love and think they encourage each other to go after what they want from life and stop this meandering existence..._

"... _But then when they get closer to getting what they think they want, the self-destructive parts of her personality and the inflexible and even possessive nature of his personality come out in unhealthy ways; threatening their future happiness and maybe make them wish they were just back to where they were before they met."_

_Gaby didn't say anything as she was wondering how much of that was Tina's imagination and how much of that reflected how Tina actually thought of herself and Alex._

" _This isn't an autobiography, if that's what you're thinking...going all quiet like that," Tina said laughing._

_Gaby then forced a laugh. She wished she hadn't made Tina describe the movie._

" _It's just an idea I had, and plus I want to explore something a bit dark but real and reflective of real people. There are a lot of self-destructive and possessive people out there," Tina said._

" _Ok...ok," Gaby said, "you've been watching too many of these depressing art-house, cynical films. We need to make you watch some Disney movies or something," Gaby said._

" _Ok, back to the story of us, I then get a bit of funding to shoot my film...and it takes the festival circuit by storm. While I'm screening the movie all around the world in various festivals, there you are with me. You are using this opportunity to work on your post-graduate paper submission about how the geographical location of film festivals reflect the attitudes and personalities of the people judging films, and how it affects the results of what films win awards. I take you all the way to the Oscars while you continue studying that...Then after I win Oscars, Hollywood changes and starts hiring Asian-American and Latino, and hell all POC talent of all sexual orientations, ages, backgrounds, body types, and looks in mainstream film._

_"Then when you get your Master's degree with your published thesis in some esoteric academic journal that will make you become an academic superstar, you get an offer to travel all around the world to study local indigenous matriarchal non-violent communities in remote locations. Your published works will inspire everyone to pay attention to how much better some of these societies are and encouraging this fucked up patriarchal, racist world to be more open, empathetic, and caring._

_"You take me along with you while I find new inspiration for my next film, which I plan to be more epic and bigger budgeted than my first. And while we're doing all of this, Alex is right there with us the whole time because he finally quit his stupid dangerous job, and he can solve incredibly interesting and entertaining but ultimately safe mysteries at those locations like a regular Hercule Poirot. Then he can write about them one-by-one as he solves them. Then we all change the world together. The rest of the team will follow-suit with us doing their thing._

" _Oh…and we both get invited to give speeches while accepting honorary degrees…"_

" _All the honorary degrees and all the universities," Gaby said._

" _Yes, and…"_

_Gaby interrupted, "And then after we spend about ten years doing that, we settle down. Well, you and Alex do. You still continue doing movies, while Alex opens a private investigator business catering to the same sort of mysteries we solved as kids, but having rich clientele willing to pay the big bucks allowing you and Alex to have four little Nguyen-Fernandezes running around while you beg me to baby-sit."_

_Tina made a disgusted sort of sound in response, but Gaby turned and saw her smiling._ _Gaby and Tina then snugglde into their pillows in bed and fell asleep smiling at their story._

* * *

Gaby got out of her daydream of her memories with Tina. Thinking about it put a sinking feeling in the pit in Gaby's stomach. Gaby really missed her best friend. Gaby did not even want to confront the fact that in their "Story of Us", it seemed that they had already come to peace with the fact that _Ghostwriter_ had left for good as he never appeared in their story. Thinking about their fantasy future just now forced Gaby to come face-to-face with where their reality actually was at this moment.

More disturbingly, as Gaby remembered their conversation and Tina describing her film, it felt as if it was more reflective of Gaby's present life than it had been anything about Tina or Alex. Was Tina making some subconscious or conscious observation about how she saw Gaby? _Impossible_ , thought Gaby trying to convince herself.

Gaby then thought more about their "Story of Us". It had already hit a few snags indicating nothing they imagined would come true, at least not in the way they told it. For one thing, Tina and Gaby stopped spending so much time with one another.

When Tina started her position, she became increasingly in demand when her first documentary short ended up winning multiple local festival awards. That short documentary led to Tina surprisingly obtaining an agent to help her book jobs. Gaby thought the idea of Tina having an agent was wild even though Lenni has had an agent since high school, and Rob had a literary agent. Tina's agent scheduled projects for Tina, which increasingly built up and filled her schedule. All of this unexpected success resulted in Tina turning down her spot at NYU's Graduate program, and jump-started her professional life much earlier than Gaby had anticipated.

Despite Tina's early success, none of her projects took the world by storm as Gaby had imagined. Only a small, dedicated audience watched her films. However, they were an important small, dedicated audience who had connections with other important people. Their familiarity and interest in Tina's work created enough buzz for Tina to keep her busy with a seemingly never-ending stream of projects to work on. But that meant Tina put off her dreams of making the films she truly wanted to make, according to Gaby.

As Gaby saw it, Tina's success meant that she was living a progressively separate life from Gaby and changing "The Story of Us" to "The Story of Her and Her". Gaby remembered confronted Tina about her decision to give up her spot in the Graduate program. This turned into a shouting match between them with Tina thinking Gaby was being unsupportive and not truly understanding the difficulties of making it in this "cut-throat" business where young Asian-American women do not receive golden opportunities like the ones Tina was being presented. Although they would mend things, Gaby secretly still felt that she was in the right about Tina making a mistake and choosing the wrong path.

What also added to Gaby's feeling of abandonment by Tina was the fact that after Tina and Alex got back together two years ago, their relationship reached the highest level it had ever hit. This meant that Tina spent whatever free time she had with Alex. Gaby was truly happy for them, but could not also help but feel resentful towards her brother.

Recently, when Gaby and Alex agreed to hang out after he called her out-of-the-blue, she had complained to him that he was hogging Tina all to himself. Rather than receiving understanding and sympathy, Gaby was instead met with Alex blowing up at her - leading into a shouting match between the two hot-tempered siblings. During that heated exchange, Alex explained to her how much time he and Tina actually had with one another.

Then surprisingly, Alex started breaking down in front of Gaby. Gaby then provided a shoulder he used to cry on as he unloaded onto her about how frustrated he was about how little time they actually got to spend with one another thanks to their demanding and irregular hours that simply did not sync up. After hearing Alex's story, Gaby regretted complaining to Alex and attempting to make him feel guilty about the time they did have together. This led to Gaby feeling that whatever issues she had about not seeing Tina enough paled in comparison to whatever Alex was feeling about not seeing Tina enough. However, a part of Gaby still held on to that resentment.

Tina was not the only person Gaby feared would abandon Gaby. Gaby grew increasingly close to her roommates, especially Melissa. They clung on to each other for reasons she still was not quite sure about. Maybe it was because both were lonely. For the past few months, Gaby imagined Melissa would fill the void Tina had left until recently when she realized Melissa had other plans.

Right after Gaby had been accepted to Hunter's Master's program, she had been invited to The Big Apple Geography Society's annual gala. Gaby received tickets as a "thank you" from Dr. Ibanez for applying and obtaining the research assistant position. Later on, Gaby realized that she may have been doing Dr. Ibanez a favor by taking her tickets as she probably did not want to attend. Melissa attended as Gaby's plus one.

It was there where Melissa met Andrew Van Dijk, a Dutch-born Geography PhD candidate at Hunter College. Andrew was not Melissa's type as far as Gaby knew. Gaby knew that Melissa was into guys who Melissa would describe as tanned or dark-skinned, hardcore, muscled-up, tatted up, gangsta, "drug dealer" types with hot tempers and lots of cash money on hand, which they probably obtained through less-than-legal means. Upon hearing that the first time, Gaby recommended she keep her dates away from Alex.

The soon-to-be Dr. Van Dijk hardly fit that bill. He was tall, pale, strawberry blond, and long-limbed, thus giving off an impression of clumsiness. His glasses and absent-minded Professor-like disposition did not help matters. The Hunter College Geography faculty ended up sitting together with Melissa sitting next to Andrew. At first, Melissa seemed annoyed at having to make small talk with him, and tried to keep talking with Gaby.

However, as the night wore on and the drinks poured, Melissa and Andrew seemed to hit it off. Gaby thought it was nothing more than the alcohol making people friendly. After the event, Gaby invited a bunch of other graduate students from all the universities in attendance to her and Melissa's favorite bar in Queens that was only a short cab ride away. Shockingly, Andrew joined. As the night wore on, he and Melissa grew closer and Gaby realized Andrew was not a clumsy awkward man at all but was actually pretty suave and funny. Melissa and Andrew also spoke about some nerdy things they both loved watching as kids that Gaby had no idea Melissa was into.

Once Melissa invited him over to their apartment, that was it. He had just recently asked Melissa to marry him, which she accepted. Gaby suspected that this was the first time they dated someone like each other and were knocked over by it. Gaby now wondered how much longer Melissa would work at Tyre, a place where men constantly grabbed and propositioned the smokin' hot Colombian.

"Gaby." Dr. Ibanez said. "You can leave, and enjoy your weekend, if you want. I'm going to call it a day too as I have to go to Beatrix's recital in a couple of hours and would like to get home and pretty myself up a bit."

Gaby felt guilty that she wasted so much time daydreaming and reminiscing. Gaby still had an hour to kill before she was going to head out to Tyre to prepare for her shift, so she told Dr. Ibanez she would stay and input more data before she left. Dr. Ibanez reminded Gaby to not work too hard and then left.

Gaby sat at her desk imagining Dr. Ibanez attending her daughter's recital. Gaby then rubbed her stomach and imagined herself being pregnant. She remembered hat day where she had that pregnancy scare with Lenni and Tina in the dressing room in that thrift store. Gaby had jumped to a conclusion, but she did feel her body was out of sorts. She was late and that was unlike her. Furthermore, Gaby did feel sore and tired. Speaking of, Gaby was getting a headache. She opened a bottle of aspirin she had in her purse and took one.

Gaby then wondered if having a baby would have been the worst thing that could have happened to her. Granted, this was not the best circumstance to have a baby. She was in graduate school, working at nightclub that required her to be _attractive_ , and was not officially attached to anybody, which would make her parents angry and Alex want to know whom the father was so he could beat him up.

Thinking about Gabriel and his separated status. Gaby would not know how Alex or their father would react to the answer to that question.

* * *

**Later that Evening Before Doors Opened**

Gaby, Mayteana, and Melissa, already made-up, styled, and dressed in Tyre's uniform of skin-tight black V-neck dresses and heels, were busy doing prep work. Gaby felt it was funny how cheap everything looked in regular bright lighting. This felt more like a warehouse without the dark atmosphere, the strobe lighting, the smoke machines, and the pulsing beats distracting everyone. Being able to see everything, Gaby thought this did not look like a place where you would have to pay $5.00 for a bottle of Poland Spring water and use an ATM that had a $5.50 service fee. Gaby eyed the VIP tables with the cheap black velvet ropes and thought the booths and tables looked one step below Ikea. She thought the furniture just had a lot of gloss added to them.

At around 9:30 pm, and Gaby had already served three birthday parties and went through twenty sparklers, and a table full of Wall Street types who were celebrating closing some multimillion-dollar account.

"Gabriela," Ashan said. In Tyre, nobody called her _Gaby_. "You'll have to take another VIP table, Melissa and Luisa are swamped."

"What about Mayteana?" asked Gaby.

"She's helping out near the bar area. The bar back just went home with food poisoning," he replied.

Gaby mentally rolled her eyes. "Who is it, an NBA player?"

"No, bachelor party with some Chinese dudes."

"Got it," Gaby said truly not in the mood to deal with more men flirting with her, and thinking bachelor parties were worst.

As Gaby approached her new VIP table, she realized there was only like two Chinese guys, and they were clearly Chinese-American, not Chinese nationals. The rest of the group were a diverse array of men. She then wondered about Ahsan's observational skills.

"To the bachelor!" they all cheered.

"Hi guys," Gaby said with her best flirtatious face on while bending down to their level so they could get a full view of the _girls_ thanks to her V-neck dress. "I'm Gabriela, and I'm going to take care of you tonight. What do you guys like to drink?" Gaby said flirtatiously.

Gaby observed that the groom-to-be clearly had been pre-gaming it. The man who she figured to be the Best Man, surprisingly shook her hand, and then politely ordered four bottles of any kind of alcohol she thought would be the best. She assured him that she would know exactly what they would like and to leave everything up to her.

 _This shouldn't be so bad_ , Gaby thought.

"Gaby?"

That voice sounded so familiar. Gaby turned and could not believe who she saw in front of her.

"Calvin Ferguson?"

Calvin then laughed with an amused expression on his face as if he had won the lottery. "Well, I see you're doing well for yourself."

"Last time I checked, you were living in California," Gaby said ignoring the clear slight he just gave her.

"Ha, you checked on me?" Calvin asked.

"Ew no!" Gaby said on reflex.

Calvin then raised an eyebrow. " _Tsk tsk_ Ms. Fernandez, or should I say _Gabriela_? Is that how Tyre trains their girls to talk to customers?"

"What I meant was," Gaby continued refusing to take the bait, "that last time I saw Jeffrey Baxter, he told me you were in California."

"Ah Jeffrey...I still chat with him a few times, not really friends with each other though," Calvin said.

"I know! If you were, I wouldn't still be talking to Jeffrey." Gaby responded knowing full well it was not Jeffrey who called or contacted Calvin, but the other way around.

"Oh, that's right, you and Jeffrey had a little fling, do you still have one?" Calvin asked.

 _Why does he care?_ Gaby wondered. Then Gaby decided to take a different approach. She put her work face on, and put on the charm. "I don't kiss and tell."

Calvin sized Gaby up, and was clearly checking out her cleavage. "That's more like it. Anyway, I tried working in the entertainment industry out there, but it wasn't for me. Not my scene. Felt like I was wasting my talent."

 _Ugh_.

"I see you're serving my friend's bachelor party," Calvin continued.

"Oh, friends with the bachelor?"

"No. I was just invited by his friend," Calvin said pointing to the Best Man. "We worked together in L.A. Now he works for a finance firm in the City that hold accounts for various corporations, including the company I work for now. We had a business meeting and he mentioned his friend's bachelor's party and wanted to know if I wanted to come. You might have heard of my company, it's Corrections Corporation of America, you know they build private prisons."

 _Good God!_ Gaby thought.

"But he complains about the work he's doing, and wants to get out of it. I don't see why? I mean it's blowing up. Gotta cash in. I mean just look at New Orleans. Now that Hurricane Katrina hit, they are dying to build these prisons there to put some of that riff raff who were looting those poor businesses behind bars. They can't wait for the government to open prisons back up."

Before Gaby could respond, with _oh you mean the ones who were starving and dying in thirst as their city flooded and were ignored by the government and left to die?_ She turned on the charm and said, "I'll be back with your party's orders," Gaby said smiling turning to leave towards the bar. Gaby felt like she needed a shower just now.

"Hey, don't trick us by giving us that overpriced stuff. I know the second or third shelf stuff are just as good," Calvin yelled out.

Gaby turned back towards Calvin, but fortunately behind Calvin, the Best Man just rolled his eyes at Calvin, and then pointed his finger up, non-verbally communicating to her to go ahead and give them the top-shelf bottles, as it was his best friend's bachelor's party.

Gaby, Mayteana, Melissa, and Luisia laid out four bottles of top whiskey, vodka, rum, and gin with an assortment of mixers and buckets of ice. Gaby figured they were not the tequila type. Sparklers were flying everywhere, and the other female servers came by the table to do Tyre's usual bachelor party chants and cheers. Gaby saw Calvin eye up Mayteana, Melissa, and Luisa. Gaby could only imagine the type of club sandwich he was envisioning for himself.

Gaby then went straight to the Groom-to-be and asked, "Which would you like?"

"Whiskey vodka," he said going in-and-out of coherency.

"I'm sorry, sir," Gaby said smiling.

"Oh uh…whiskey vodka," he repeated, slurring his words.

She honestly did not mind his response as she found it pretty entertaining.

"Whiskey vodka," he repeated again.

Gaby looked at the other dozen guys in the group to help her out, hoping one of them was not too distracted hitting on the servers or the other girls who came by. Then, the Best Man sat next to the Groom-to-be and told him, "Dude, you're ordering whiskey vodka..."

The groom's eyes shot up as if he understood, but didn't correct himself as his eyes drooped down again. Then the Best Man laughed, apologized for his friend, and said, "Give him a whiskey ginger. That's what he always drinks."

Gaby smiled and happily poured in the way Tyre taught her to, very submissive like. Gaby looked up and say Calvin having trouble stifling a smile. Then Gaby went on to gladly serve the Best Man who offered a friendly smile, and then moved on to the other men, ensuring that she served Calvin last to show his lack of importance within the group.

When she finally reached Calvin, he said, "Ah, saving me for last huh? Like a climax. I'll take that overpriced whiskey in a shot glass. I don't put that trashy juice or soda in my body."

Gaby wanted to throw his drink in his face. Then Calvin surprisingly poured some rum in another shot glass.

"Here join me," Calvin said.

"Sorry, I can't I'm on the job," Gaby replied, wondering what made him think rum was her drink out of the four.

"Come on!" he said.

"I'll check on you guys very shortly," Gaby said as she turned to check on her other tables.

"Don't you girls do that trick where you put one end of a tube shot in your mouth and pour it into the customer's mouth?" Calvin asked.

Gaby was not sure if he was just trying to get a rise out of her, but she turned back and responded, "Sir...there's a massage place a few doors down where they'll happily provide you with the services you desperately require for $20 per half-hour. I'm sure that's all the time you need, right?" The rest of the bachelor party erupted in laughter as Calvin looked at Gaby angrily, but keeping his composure.

As Gaby was making her way towards her other table, she ran into Hector and a friend of his she remembered from the first and only night he came to the club.

"Hector! What are you doing here?" Gaby said elated. They hugged tightly. "You look nice in that suit! What's the occasion?"

"I just came back from this alumni thing and then grabbed a bite to eat. Then I thought it'd be fun to come here and see you. Dios Mio! Sorry, Ollie!" Hector said frazzled. "You remember Ollie, I mean Oliver, right?" Hector said.

"Of course, hi Oliver," Gaby replied.

"Hola, senorita," Oliver said kissing Gaby's hand.

Gaby saw Hector smile at Oliver. She sensed something going on between the two.

"So, guess who I'm serving?" Gaby asked Hector.

"Who?" Hector replied.

"Calvin Ferguson!"

"That creep!"

"I know!"

"Wait, who?" asked Oliver.

Gaby and Hector then spent the next ten minutes summarizing years of unhinged behavior from Calvin.

"But he helped you with that bird case," Oliver said laughing after they finished telling him all the Calvin-centered stories in their lives.

"That was one time, and he wanted to sell poor Calypso!" Gaby said.

"Besides, he went back to being a creep after that. He continued doing creepy stuff to us," Hector said. Describing all the things Calvin did to the Ghostwriter team after the "Four Days of the Cuckatoo" arc _sans_ any mention of Ghostwriter.

"Sounds like he was jealous of your friendship, maybe he wanted to be friends." Oliver responded.

"That is a very generous interpretation of Calvin," Gaby said. Gaby wondered why Oliver wasn't totally getting it. "Oh, do you guys want anything? I can get it for you."

"No, no," Hector said, "you're busy. We just wanted to hang here and talk to you whenever you're between tables. We'll go to the bar if we want anything."

"Actually, do you guys serve champagne?" Oliver answered.

Gaby and Hector's eyes grew wide.

"Top of the line," Oliver said while eyeing if any tables were available. Gaby took that cue to scrounge up a table. Ahsan helped her set up a make-shift seating area for Tyre's newest big spender.

* * *

Two hours later, Hector and Oliver had left. Gaby had such a fun time catching up with Hector when she could. Hector seemed over-the-moon with Oliver, and although Gaby should have been happy for him, she was not. She was happier that Hector seemed so happy than she had been with Oliver himself. She thought he seemed to not take anything either she or Hector said seriously, and always seemed amused, as if she and Hector were providing entertainment. But she thought maybe this was not the best time or place to make a judgment about him.

Gaby went back to check on her Bachelor Party. Most of the group had went to the dance floor and dance with some girls. The Groom-to-be had woken up and was bouncing up a storm on the dance floor. She noticed the Best Man was next to him – dancing and having a great time himself, but he was also making sure the Groom-to-be wasn't wildly knocking into people around them.

She then wished that tonight was Saturday, and Gabriel was DJing. He really was the best DJ this club had, even though it was only one night a week.

The Best Man then approached Gaby to express his gratitude for her service, and to apologize if anyone made her uncomfortable. "I'm sorry about Calvin," he said.

"No, it's no problem. You guys were a pleasure to serve," Gaby said putting on her Tyre work face with extra charm and touching the Best Man's arm.

The Best Man seemed grateful to hear that and appreciative of the gesture. "Listen, I didn't really invite Calvin. I had a business meeting with his CEO going over their expense report, and he was there as his personal assistant. The CEO had left to go to the bathroom, so Calvin and I started talking because we used to work together. I stupidly left my phone on the table and it buzzed with a text message. I asked him if it was ok if I checked on it because it could have been about this bachelor party, and he kept asking me what the text was about so I stupidly told him our plans to come here. Then he just showed up."

This piece of news entertained Gaby immensely. "Thank you so much for telling me that. Between you and me, Calvin and I knew each other since we were kids, and I think him seeing me as his server gave him some sick pleasure."

The Best Man laughed heartedly, "Sounds like him."

* * *

The rest of Gaby's shift went off without a hitch. After Melissa, Mayteana, and Gaby finished divvying up their tips, they exited Tyre as usual.

Gabriel would usually come by Friday night before his Saturday shift to spend both nights with Gaby, but he had already texted her that he could not make it tonight. Gaby,Melissa, and Mayteana were about to head to their bus stop until they heard some grumbling behind them.

"Calvin, what are you doing here so late? It's almost 5 am!" Gaby said. Gaby turned towards Melissa and Mayteana, who had a concerned look. Sometimes, men would get too attached to the female servers and would wait until the club closed to bother them after their shift. Sometimes it was downright scary with those men following the women, and becoming more aggressive. Melissa and Mayteana looked around for a bouncer. Usually, the bouncers stayed outside the club until the all servers left.

"Guys, it's ok, I know him," Gaby said before she saw what she took to be rage in his eyes.

"Look at you...thinking you're better than me; talking shit about me?" asked Calvin.

"What are you talking about?" asked Gaby.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Calvin said increasingly angry. "You and Michael talking about me and making fun of me, I heard you two! You...you think you're better than me?" Calvin said accusingly.

"Listen Calvin, I was just sharing what I was thinking, and you were treating me like shit all night," Gaby answered.

"Oh, it wasn't just Michael and you," Calvin continued obviously not listening. "You spoke to that little barrio boy Hector and whoever that other guy was. You really think you're better than me, don't you? Even doing what you're doing here...unbelievable. You and your whole team act like you're so good and honest when you guys were so fake. I always knew it! You guys walked around like you were these do-gooders when you just did that to feel better than other people. You guys are the real snots, you know!"

"Whatever I said about you was true!" Gaby shouted, increasingly getting angry. "So, if me just repeating exactly how you treated me and my friends growing up made you angry and you want someone to blame about that, then just look in the mirror and start yelling!"

"You think you're such hot shit?" Calvin responded. "You work at this shitty ass club showing off your tits and ass for men to give you more money."

"Listen motherfucker!" Melissa interrupted, "All this talk about tits and ass...you better go fucking go back to whatever Upper East Side closet you call an apartment that you came from and play with your little pena, Ok!"

"Shut it, _princesa puta_!" Calvin screamed, turning to Melissa.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" Melissa said, walking up to Calvin to confront him.

"You know exactly what I called you! You let all those _amigos_ grab you and call you _princesa_ all night."

Just then Mayteana went up to Calvin's face and pointed at it. "Listen asshole, I don't know what your problem is, but you better leave or we'll call the police." Mayteana lost her patience to exchange jabs with Calvin.

"Pfft, like I'm scared of them. They let Alex join the force. Boy talk about no standards," Calvin laughed. He then turned to Gaby, "Boy I bet your parents are proud. Well, they worked at that dirty Bodega, I guess they would be."

Suddenly, Gaby punched Calvin in the face, and watched as he fell over, tripping on some rubble on the floor that caused him to completely fall.

Las Tres Boriquas watched as Calvin clumsily got up and stumbled away yelling about how they'd hadn't seen the last of him. He then wished them a beautiful day.

Just then Ahsan and the bouncer came out of the club. "What just happened?" Ahsan asked.

"Nothing," Mayteana laughed. "Gaby just punched a rude mofo who was getting aggressive with us."

Upon hearing that, Ahsan read them the riot act. At first Gaby thought he was mad that they punched a customer, but instead Ahsan was only worried about their safety and told them that next time, they should run back inside and to let him handle any situation. He then went into statistics about women being assaulted on their way home, especially in a place like this.

Las Tres Boriquas made their way back home on the Q66 bus. As they sat side-by-side, three in a seat, Gaby started snickering at the memory of yelling at Calvin, then punching Calvin, and then Calvin stumbling away with Ahsan yelling at them about staying safe as vulnerable women. Melissa then joined in giggling even harder. Mayteana looked at the window looking annoyed at first, and then started bursting into a fit of laughter.

"I'm going to hand in my notice next week," Mayteana suddenly said. Gaby and Melissa turned towards her. Mayteana continued, "I received a full-time position teaching at PS 43 Jonas Bronck school in the Bronx. I'll be teaching English. They need me to start next month when one of the teachers leaves for parental leave, and they said it'll be a permanent position even if she comes back."

After Gaby and Melissa extended their congratulations to Mayteana, Gaby sat quietly in-between them as Melissa and Mayteana continued their animated discussion about Mayteana's lesson plans and how much better it would be now that she got to use her degree. Then Melissa casually said that she was planning on quitting after Christmas as well as Andrew and her set a date for the wedding. Gaby turned towards Melissa silently stunned. Melissa then continued on talking about possibly moving in with Andrew before the wedding date anyway after she quit. Mayteana then mentioned probably having to move out since the school was far from their apartment. As they went on, Gaby was resisting the urge to hyperventilate.

In her bed, Gaby had wished Gabriel was there with her sharing it as she desperately needed some comfort. She said she was fine with keeping it casual and living it day-by-day, but now she was angry and frustrated at the geography between her and Gabriel. Then she thought about the distance in-between herself and Tina. Herself and the rest of the Ghostwriter team. Herself and two of the members of Las Tres Boriquas. Herself and what she had imagined her life being after college. Then herself and Ghostwriter.

* * *

**Sunday Morning**

Luckily for Gaby, Gabriel had come in early that Saturday morning to stop her from delving further into the geography of her life and relationships. She had intended to have a talk with him, but she was simply as pooped as he was. They ended up spending the whole day with each other in bed.

Thinking she needed one good day after that night with Calvin in Tyre, Gaby decided to just let things stay as they were on Saturday. The Saturday shift came and went as it always did. Smoke machines, strobe lights, glow sticks, pulsating beats, sea of sweat and shimmer, sparklers, and never-ending drinks to be served.

Now it was Sunday morning, and Gabriel was ready to depart back to D.C. Gaby told herself on Saturday that she would tell Gabriel about the pregnancy scare, and how they would pursue the relationship moving forward if he was interested in making things more official. If so, then she wanted to talk logistics.

However, at that moment with him getting ready to depart, she just wanted him to stay. After the usual Sunday morning hug, kiss, and cry, Gaby decided she did not want to ruin the moment. She wanted to let Gabriel off with a great memory of her. As Gabriel was getting ready to enter his car, he simply told Gaby that he would see her next week. As Gaby watched Gabriel drive off, she became increasingly angry with herself for not telling him how she felt about their current set up and how much she wanted him to be there. Their geography was going to make a mess of her and she knew it would not be long before it ate her up.

Back in her bedroom, and not being able to help herself, she then went on MySpace to look at his profile to view the many pictures he had on his page. She knew she should not have done it, but she typed in his wife's name to look at her profile again. Then Gaby saw that his wife changed their relationship status from "Separated" to "It's Complicated". She then saw a picture of her with Gabriel from last night.

Gaby then went to her window and glanced in the direction where Gabriel had driven off. His car was already gone. Gaby suddenly felt everything was burning all around her. She couldn't help but think it was a fire she had set for herself. Though this fire was compelling, she danced right into it, and it was now consuming her.

Gaby then quickly remembered Gabriel's face as he left. He looked so at peace and serene like everything was fine. How could he feel that way when Gaby felt her entire world was burning around her and consuming her? _He must be fireproof_ , Gaby thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Please leave a review or comment. Let me know what you think about Calvin's appearance! Will this be the last we see of him? According to him, the answer is one big nope.
> 
> Next chapter, back the scientist of the group, Jamal.


	9. Chapter 8: The Scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamal Jenkins is settled and comfortable in Houston, Texas. He has his PhD and is working steadily in his Fellowship. But settled and comfortable is not what he wants. Anger stemming from being abandoned by Ghostwriter, and fear stemming from living away from his home city and the rest of the team resides deep inside Jamal and is influencing his perspective.

_Come up to meet you_ _  
_ _Tell you I'm sorry_ _  
_ _You don't know how lovely you are_ _  
_ _I had to find you_ _  
_ _Tell you I need you_ _  
_ _Tell you I set you apart_

_Tell me your secrets_ _  
_ _And ask me your questions_ _  
_ _Oh let's go back to the start_ _  
_ _Running in circles, coming up tails_ _  
_ _Heads on a science apart_

_Nobody said it was easy_ _  
_ _It's such a shame for us to part_ _  
_ _Nobody said it was easy_ _  
_ _No one ever said it would be this hard_ _  
_ _Oh take me back to the start_

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures_ _  
_ _Pulling your puzzles apart_ _  
_ _Questions of science, science and progress_ _  
_ _Do not speak as loud as my heart_

_Tell me you love me_ _  
_ _Come back and haunt me_ _  
_ _Oh and I rush to the start_ _  
_ _Running in circles, chasing our tails_ _  
_ _Coming back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy_ _  
_ _Oh it's such a shame for us to part_ _  
_ _Nobody said it was easy_ _  
_ _No one ever said it would be so hard_ _  
_ _I'm going back to the start_

\- Coldplay

**11:30 pm on Friday, September 16, 2005.** **  
** **Houston, Texas**

Jamal rechecked the email Tina had sent on Wednesday. Two days after Tina sent it, Jamal found that he read the email thread that followed her initial email at least a dozen times. He was so ecstatic that the team fell back into their middle school selves. As he read the emails, Jamal kept doing the voices of his friends in his head. Jamal could not get enough of it. It as if the team was back in force and were in the same room.

At least that was until Gaby's last message, "I'm bringing Ghostwriter." That one hurt. _What was Gaby thinking_? Jamal wondered. Nobody brought up Ghostwriter so casually and in such a nonchalant manner. He was a little resentful that Gaby had destroyed the thread.

Jamal tried to only think of Ghostwriter when he wrote his nightly messages to him. Jamal performed this ritual consistently for the past five years. He had no idea why he continued this practice, but he diligently wrote to Ghostwriter right before bed on a Microsoft Word document. When he finished, he would exit out of the document without saving. Tonight was no exception.

Jamal opened a new document on his Microsoft Word program, and started typing.

* * *

_Hey GW..._

_What a day! The latest edit on my article on the Superstring Theory is coming along. 65 pages so far! The hardest part is making sure it is not derivative of past writings. Dr. Leigh already said it was sounding Carl Sagan-y. Have you read Carl Sagan? He wrote:_

" _Remarkable claims require remarkable proof."_

_He was talking about the challenge many scientists face when trying to formulate grand new theories. The grander the theory, the more remarkable the proof needs to be for anyone to buy it._

_That takes me back to my first semester of M.I.T. You remember right?_

_We were so excited about it! That first semester, we had so much fun! We could not wait to explore the new environment. New sights, new sounds, new people. I remember that you could not wait to read all the books you possibly could. It was like you were going to college too! I imagined both of us getting our degrees as we attended classes together. You'd be learning alongside me._

_Remember how we solved that case with the network security hacking? Remember how confident I was about the fact that I already had my senior thesis in my first semester at M.I.T? It was easy to come up with one because of you._

_I could not wait to find the remarkable proof to my remarkable claim that people can die, and come back as some sort of energy that can communicate to living people through manipulating matter into legible symbols so long as that energy had prior knowledge of what symbols meant to effectuate communication. I planned to take Albert Einstein's theory of the conservation of energy to show how ghosts could exist._

_You were there when I received a lot of pushback and ridicule from my classmates and professors. You knew what a hard time I was having, but I just knew I could figure it out with help from you and the team. So, I went ahead, undeterred. When the team worked together, there was_ **_nothing_ ** _we could not do._

_I tried to convince all the professors and Deans within the Department of Physics that this was a worthwhile topic to explore, and could be explored using the scientific method. I made such passionate pleas while avoiding saying your name._

_Remember how instead of being receptive, they conducted a psychological evaluation on me instead? Luckily, I passed and they deemed me a worthwhile student, so they kept me in. But it was all debilitating and pathologizing. I worked hard to spin it in my favor to my parents and Grandma, all of whom did not understand why I was so obsessed with ghosts or spirits._

_After the psych evaluation, the administration and faculty looked at me and treated me differently. I don't know what was worse...their carefulness or dismissiveness of me – depending on the professor or the other students when they found out what my proposed thesis was. It was tough being known as the loony supernatural kid on campus. Some called me "Ghost Boy". It spread all over my department._

_Then some students nicknamed themselves "Ghostbusters" and would try to always argue with me every time I answered a question or asked a question during a lecture or a seminar no matter what it was about. To "bust" me._

_I know you remember all of that!_

_It's ok though. It made me a tougher student, and some of them became my friends after they saw that apart from my belief in ghosts, I was pretty normal._

_I remember you asking me questions about how I was doing, and showing such concern for me._

_That was very comforting and provided me the strength I needed to carry on. I did not even demand that you show yourself to free me from the ridicule. At the time, it seemed as if your support and existence was enough. I felt so long as I had you, things would be ok._

_Then you suddenly left after the fall semester of my sophomore year of college without warning!_

_How could you abandon me while I was going through hell?!_

_You know…you could have made my life a lot easier if you just showed yourself to everyone._

**_ You _ ** _could have changed science!_

_You could have worked for the government to hack into important information._

_You could have prevented 9/11 probably._

_Instead, you chose to be selfish, and just leave us._

_Anyway, after all that ridicule, I had to give up my undergraduate theory regarding energy being able to convert into spirits or ghosts. There was no way I could prove that unless you decided to come back and make yourself seen by everyone. So, I found something new to study…something radical_ _ **but** _ _normal. Somehow, this oxymoron makes sense._

_Despite the fact that the Superstring theory cannot be practically tested and many still doubt it holds up to scrutiny, I think my professors were relieved I switched my focus on that._

_In case you did not read my last messages to you in the past five or so years, the string theory states that everything in the universe is composed of tiny vibrating strings of energy. This means that every particle in our bodies, every speck of light that lets us read words, and every packet of gravity that pushes us into our chairs are just variations of one fundamental energy._

_The superstring is even more incredible. It expands upon that premise by saying that all particles and fundamental forces of nature are vibrations of tiny supersymmetric strings. Isn't that incredible?_

_Basically, this theory explains that_ **_me and you are part of the same fundamental energy_ ** _. You understand that right? I know you felt that you and me were connected somehow. Sure, I know that you were close to the other members of the Ghostwriter team as well, but we've always had this cosmic connection. You found in my house, chose to show yourself to me first. It was through me that you met everyone else on the team._

_That's why I study the superstring theory. It is the best theory we have to join the laws of quantum mechanics (laws of the "small") with the laws of general relativity (the laws of the "large") into a single mathematically consistent framework. Outside of this being vital because right now because there are mathematical inconsistencies between quantum mechanics and general relativity, I choose to devote my life to it because of you._

_See GW? You still dominate my life. This theory is what I think helps explain to me how you and I can co-exist in this universe together in a way that can make sense. Right now, it seems you and me exist on different planes and are from different universes who can interact with one another (and allows you to read and physically manipulate symbols). But this theory tells us we exist in this world together on a singular universe...that you are still in our universe…_

_…and if you're still here, then you don't have to stay away any longer._

_It is also a lot like you. I know you're real. I know you exist; but there's no way to prove it scientifically. Like you, no scientist can truly say there are practical applications for the string theory, much less the superstring theory. But those of us studying this_ **_KNOW_ ** _it exists. It is the only thing that can explain how these inconsistencies in quantum mechanics and general relativity exist in the same world._

_I hope I didn't bore you. Let's talk about something fun._

_I was watching the Sci-Fi channel today and caught a few episodes of this show called_ _Ghost Hunters_ _. Ridiculous right? They never find anything that looks like you. But then is it ridiculous? Maybe the "ghosts" or should I say "energy" that they claim to find are real, and are keeping themselves hidden – the way you kept yourself hidden from everyone except for the GW team..._

_You even kept yourself hidden from Jasmine after I told her about you the night of the Homecoming Dance during Junior year of high school. You remember that night. I almost destroyed the team._

_Anyway,_ _Ghost Hunters_ _is a television show where two men who call themselves paranormal investigators investigate places that are reported to be haunted._

_By the way, do you truly understand the concept of a television? One of my fellow professors said when movies were first coming out, they called them "motion pictures", and when his grandfather first heard that term, he literally imagined a single, physical picture moving around a surface and had no idea why people would pay to see that. Without context to understand a concept, how could anyone know what anything actually was just by the name?_

_I know you told me you read a lot of books to try to get up to speed on modern culture, but I always wondered how much you could really understand. I would think you would have to consult the dictionary often when you came across a word you did not know. None of us knew how old you were or from what time you came from. But we did know that you did not know what Mickey Mouse was. You did not even know what a cartoon was. That gave us some clues._

_One thing I will give you is that you taught all of us to be more diligent and conscientious in studying all the small details of any situation that we had to face. That worked when I was first published in_ _The Harvard Undergraduate Research Journal_ _. That helped rid of a lot of the ridicule I received for being the "ghost" guy._

_Anyway, I'm getting off tangent here. These paranormal investigators represent a whole industry of people who contact ghosts for a living for people. Paranormal investigators go to locations that are supposedly haunted and will attempt to collect evidence to support the existence of paranormal activity._

_They hardly use the scientific method and no scientific study has ever been able to confirm the existence of ghosts. The practice is considered a pseudoscience by most in the scientific community. If you remember, pseudoscience consists of statements, beliefs, or practices that are claimed to be scientific and factual, but are incompatible with the scientific method._

_Pseudoscience is often characterized by contradictory, exaggerated or unfalsifiable claims. It relies on confirmation bias rather than rigorous attempts at refutation. These claims lack the openness to evaluation by other experts because they know it will be laughed at and not hold up under scrutiny. There is also an alarming absence of systematic practices when developing theories. The fact that those who hold on to these discredited theories make it much closer to a religion or any other belief system than anything else._

_I know for lay people, this doesn't sound too different from our belief that the string theory holds weight, but it's_ **_totally_ ** _different! Just trust me. It may not take the world by storm, yet, but it has been a particularly useful tool for us to close gaps...ok maybe those paranormal investigators will say the same thing...how them finding these "ghosts" help explain a lot of people's personal testimonies about being haunted or seeing dead loved ones or whatever. Trust me it's different._

_One thing I am surer about is that people who claim to be psychic mediums who can contact the deceased loved ones for people who sit for their readings or séances for profit are running a_ **_scam_ ** _. I had trouble sleeping the other night, and caught this show around midnight where some guy with a mustache was interviewing people who were clearly going through serious bouts of grief. It was also clear that he was taking advantage of them, and exploiting their pain. He could not sense any spirits. He just asked aggressive questions and was able to figure out personal and private information about them through the answers those grieving people freely gave him. Then when he "guessed" right, they acted so happy because their grief made them_ **_want_ ** _to believe he communicated sweet and thoughtful messages to his loved ones from the beyond._

_Those poor people were in such terrible grief - not unlike Lenni was in a few years ago...which you would have_ **_known_ ** _about if you were still with us...I cannot believe you were not around when Lenni was going through what was probably the worst thing to happen to her when Kyle died…with the exception being her mom dying. You don't even know who Kyle is, do you? Kyle was Lenni's fiancé! They were so in love and she went through so much pain and, where were you?_

_Where was I for Lenni? Or yeah...I was too busy with my career. Too busy focusing my_ **_entire_ ** _career trying to figure out how you exist and what you are and you're not even here to help. You're not even here to just be for me at all!_

_And yet, I am still trying to use Einstein's theory on the conservation of energy to explain_ **_YOUR_ ** _existence._

_Einstein wrote that all energy of the universe is constant and that it can neither be created nor destroyed. So, the question becomes what happens to that energy when someone dies? If it cannot be destroyed, then it must be transformed into another form of energy? Maybe it could transform into a ghost or spiritual being._

_Of course, the most reasonable explanation is that the energies in our body just get transferred back into the environment. In fact, all those ghost hunters are full of crap when they say their machines could sense the electrical energy a ghost left behind. It takes years for the energy that gets left behind to re-enter the environment in the form of food with the rest of that energy dissipating shortly after death. There is no way it could come back in a form that can be detected years later with those lame ghost-hunting devices._

_But are they full of crap? Are those devices lame? Would they have been able to detect you? Some of the adjectives they use say that they sense a glowing, ghostly ball of electromagnetic energy. That seems very close in describing what you were._

_I remember April of April's Flowers in that Lana Barnes case was feeling vibes all around her. She told Gaby and me that we had a positive aura around us...almost a ghostly presence. If she could sense that...would people with technological tools be able to sense that as well? Or was she just full of crap too and it was just a coincidence?_

**_You see?_ **

_You really_ **_messed_ ** _me up! If you were going to do that, you should at least stay in my life while I am going through so much trouble synthesizing the physical, falsifiable world with knowing you exist. I wish I could laugh like all of my peers about things like mediums and paranormal investigators. Instead, a part of me believes it because of the fact I know YOU exist!_

_That was present tense...do you still exist? Did you fade away? Did you die? You still show up in that group picture I have of all of us. You better be dead because if you're still alive and just stayed away or found new kids to "play" with..._

* * *

With that Jamal quickly exited his unsaved Word document as if he just wrote something absolutely shameful. A feeling of dread and utter darkness enveloped him. He was so angry with himself that he let himself lose his temper yet again. He needed to get his mind on something else.

He tried to go back to AU message board to see if there was any moderating to be done, and possibly stop yet another political argument from going off the rails in the newly created "Electro-Political Spectrum" sub-forum. Jamal decided to forego his moderating duties. Instead, he properly shut off his Alienware Aurora 5500 desktop computer.

Jamal sat blankly at his now dark computer screen. He thought about his nightly ritual and when he started. When Ghostwriter first told the team he was leaving, it took Jamal a few months to come to terms with Ghostwriter being gone for an indefinite period of time. He deduced that he had been the most in denial about Ghostwriter leaving for good. A part of him must have still been in denial. But much like his "abandoned" Einstein theory of conversion of energy being able to create ghosts, Jamal wanted to hide this part of his life from everyone, including the team. He had to keep up his appearance as a totally scientific and rational man.

Even though he was now Doctor of Physics and Astronomy and started his one-year post-doctorate fellowship at Rice University in Houston, memories of isolation and ridicule stemming from being the "ghost boy" still haunted him. He did not want the rest of the Ghostwriter team to feel that way about him either. Not only did he value their friendship, but he knew that the team looked to him as the _de facto_ leader of the group, and what would happen if they no longer respected him enough to be a leader?

It made sense for him to stay the leader. He had been the one to first see Ghostwriter. He had been the one who first got the team together. It was his responsibility to keep the team together. If they lost their confidence in him, the team may dissipate. Jamal did not want to delve deeper into his true fear, that when he lost the Ghostwriter team, he would forever lose a place of comfort, solace, and companionship he would not otherwise have.

Ironically, the best way to keep the team together was for him to never bring up Ghostwriter. By never bringing him up, Jamal felt the team's connection and history would be enough to hold them together. Also, the reason why Jamal did not bring up Ghostwriter was that deep down; he felt it was **his** fault why Ghostwriter left. He did not know how many of the other team members shared this sentiment, but he never wanted to find out.

* * *

On the next day, Jamal rose out of bed early. He had a full day planned, like all his days. If he kept himself distracted to a busy schedule, then he would not have time to dwell on past regrets and painful memories that brought up feelings and realizations he did not want to have.

After getting up from his bed, Jamal carefully made his bed as he was taught to do by Grandma CeCe. He put on a muscle shirt and got ready for the day.

Jamal walked downstairs to the kitchen. Jamal took stock of his surroundings, and was still amazed by the amount of space this Houston apartment had. Every time Jamal came back from NYC, he wondered how much rent his two-bedroom 1,325 square foot apartment would go for in NYC considering that a 550 square foot apartment would be considered a palace for many there. Honestly, Jamal did not need a two-bedroom apartment, but he felt he should live it up any way. His second bedroom became his office where he would keep most of his books and research materials.

Jamal looked outside the kitchen window to check the weather. As per usual, it was a beautiful, sunny day in Houston, Texas. Fall entered Houston and the rest of the Southeast United States much later than in New York. Through the view that this window provided, Jamal took a peak around his gated apartment complex equipped with a full-size swimming pool, a lap pool with three lanes, and plenty of parking spots with assigned slots. He never had to worry about parking his newly purchased 2005 Honda S2000 two-seated convertible.

Jamal smiled as he thought about his car. He **LOVED** his car. In fact, the relationship between him and his car may have been the deepest relationship he had in a while. Jamal gained a taste for driving in the past four years of living in Houston. The first time he drove on the road, Jamal felt like he experienced something he had been deprived of all of his life. He never had a chance to drive in Cambridge, Massachusetts as he simply relied on public transportation there. He could not rely on public transportation in Houston. The first thing he did when he moved to Houston was to buy a car.

His father Reginald, mother Doris, and Grandma CeCe helped Jamal move to this new, culturally dissimilar city from which they hailed. Although his father tried to help Jamal buy a car, the truth was that he was no more knowledgeable than Jamal was. Their family mostly took public transportation back home. In fact, public transportation was in the family as his father worked for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA), the agency that runs all of the public transportation in NYC. So, this whole thing was foreign to all of them. Once Jamal became a regular driver, he could not imagine having to take the subway or bus ever again if he moved back to NYC. He had shared this once with the Team and they all laughed at him by saying he'd been away from "city living" for too long.

Thinking about NYC made Jamal realize that if he moved back, driving would not be something he would get to enjoy as much even if he brought his car with him. Unless the idea of being stuck in busy streets - full of bumper-to-bumper traffic with crazy cabs, crazy pedestrians mixed with locals and clueless, directionless tourists, and cyclists with hardly any available parking were all things he could enjoy.

Living in Houston gave Jamal a taste of driving, and he savored every moment of it. Sometimes, he would drive for no reason, just wanting to experience where the interstates, highways, and roads would take him.

In the car, he loved listening to the radio or his CDs or iPod while commuting to Rice University every day. He loved how wide and spacious the streets were, thus allowing him to drive so easily and leisurely when traffic was not too bad -which it typically could be.

He also lived in the best city for driving. The city was huge in size, and it could take him well over an hour to each one end of the city to another end with his car. Comparatively, Houston was as big as the entire island of Oahu in Hawaii or a quick drive to one of his colleagues who lived on the other end of Houston would be the same distance as driving from the Rockaways in Queens to Paterson, New Jersey. Basically, Jamal learned to love living in his car.

After his breakfast of "grown-up" cereal with peanut butter on whole wheat toast and a poached egg, and wanting to put off his work out for just a little bit, Jamal decided to boot up his Alienware desktop computer to check his emails and news. He read a few articles on BBC's Science page, then he decided to check out the AU message board to see what kind of mischief the message board users got into when he went to bed. Jamal then found a private message alert next to his user name "JJBad" a play on "LJBad". Jamal admitted that this was not the most creative name he could have come up with and he could have asked for Rob's help, but the fact of the matter was that he was too embarrassed to ask Rob to come up with a better name for his science-topic message board that he co-moderated with a team of others.

When Jamal clicked on the flashing private message alert, he saw that he received a private message from "Muggle-Born-Zabir", one of the more popular users there. Jamal remembered the first time this user came into his attention. Her posts started out in the Sci-Fi section where she argued for a particular ship in the _Star Trek_ series with the usual amount of passion and vigor that these fans had. What stood out to Jamal was how her posts almost always included some socio-political and/or feminist subtext.

However, as her username would indicate, her posts were more prominent in the forum's Fantasy sub-forum. At first, her username met her with some scorn as many members told her to stop reading _Harry Potter_ and pick up an "adult" book like _Lord of the Rings_. Jamal was impressed with how undeterred she was to be an active member of the board, and she then became a sort of _de facto_ leader of the Harry Potter fans in the community. With her as their leader, they became more empowered to share their love of the series. In fact, some members "came out of the closet" with their love for _Harry Potter_ after she became a strong pro-Harry Potter leader.

Jamal ended up reading a bunch of her posts regarding _Harry Potter_ , and through her posts, he started feeling as if he knew the kind of person she was. He knew her as the most prominent Ron/Hermione shipper of the _Harry Potter_ threads that he'd seen. She basically steered that ship. She even provided links to some of her authored Ron/Hermione-centered fan fictions that she posted both on Fiction Alley and the Sugar Quill (the prominent Ron/Hermione and canon-based fandom website), which Jamal read and actually enjoyed quite a bit. He felt as though she seemed to be very loyal to "canon", which made Jamal think she heavily respected creators and their world, and stuck close to the ground.

He also read her posts in the political forum, as she was an active poster there as well. The moderation team loathed to go into the "Electro-Political Spectrum" sub-forum due to the contentiousness of the discussions, and was full of circular conversations happening between the same dozens of posters. They became so familiar with one another that every participant could predict what the other would say before they posted.

However, MBZ's posts made Jamal happily enter that sub-forum. He found her writing abilities to be on a high level, and appreciated the way she structured her sentences. Sometimes, she would get long-winded and her posts could have used a bit of editing, but other than that, he loved reading what she had to say, even if he did not always agree.

Throughout the years, he saw her go from an opinionated, but impersonal poster to one more comfortable sharing the details of her life. He read her posts as she evolved from an undergraduate student studying Biology at Tulane University in New Orleans to now living as a graduate student obtaining her Master's degree there, focusing on public health to make healthcare more accessible to the poor and working classes.

Jamal clicked on her private message and read:

 **MBZ** : Hey JJBad! I wanted to say I loved your plot break down on the _Kobayashi Maru_ novel in the "As the Pages Turn" thread. You inspired me to pick it up. I'll let you know how I like it.

It was a simple message, but Jamal could not help but smile. He loved that novel and wanted to share the beauty that was the _Star Trek_ literary experience. _Star Wars_ novels also had a dedicated following in the forum, but Jamal was much more of a _Star Trek_ fan. Jamal always found that perplexing as he loved martial arts, and Star Wars had more action in that arena with its samurai sword fights. Jamal figured that he simply preferred the lore of _Star Trek_. Jamal then wanted to give MBZ a list of other _Star Trek_ novels to read, but instead decided to play it cool. Jamal wanted to earn her respect and feared looking too eager to speak to her.

 **JJBad** : You'll love it. I know you're a fan of TOS (Star Trek: The Original Series) and this novel perfectly captures the distinct voices of Chekov, Sulu, Scotty, and Captain Kirk. It's hilarious. Please let me know your thoughts about it.

 **MBZ** : I wanted to ask, what are your thoughts about Captain Kirk? I could not tell where you stood from your posts in the debate thread: "Which Captain is the Best? #47". You always play it so neutral there.

 **JJBad** : I take my moderating stances seriously, so I try not to take sides. That way I could avoid accusations of bias when I have to lay a moderator smack down on a rude poster. But, since you asked, and I think I can trust you ;), I think he's the best.

 **MBZ** : Really? I think he's so arrogant. All he does is flirt with girls! Also, you can definitely trust me! Secrets stay between sailors!

 **JJBad** : But that's what makes him the best! He's makes all the girls melt, even Uhura!

Once Jamal hit "enter", he realized he must have sounded horribly misogynistic and girl-crazy himself. Not the impression he wanted to give a poster he highly respected.

 **MBZ** : No, he does not! A cool chick like Uhura would never fall for a guy like Kirk!

 **JJBad** : Hey, they had that first interracial kiss on television.

Jamal did not understand why he was writing to her in that way. This was not helping his cause at all.

 **MBZ** : They were under mind-control when they kissed! It's not like it was truly amorous and promoting romantic love between the races. But props to TOS for showing an interracial kiss on 1960s television anyway. If only more shows had the mind to have Gene Roddenberry's view on diversity-in-casting being the norm, and doing it in a way where it's not tokenized...even though he did play on some stereotypes because it was the 1960s and well it is what it is...

 **JJBad** : You're right. I guess as a black man, I just appreciate any kind of positive representation like Uhura, and the fact TOS went there. BTW, I don't just think Kirk is the best because he had "fun" with girls. I personally think he could be more respectful on that front. But I think I love Kirk the most because he was the perfect foil for both Spock and Bones.

 **MBZ** : I agree.

 **JJBad** : Also, I think I choose Kirk because I love TOS the best out of all the series.

 **MBZ** : Even more than _TNG_ ( _Star Trek: The Next Generation_ )? That's blasphemous on the forums...and I agree with you.

 **JJBad** : I'm glad you agree with me! I think that show didn't take itself too seriously and it was so fun and entertaining to watch. I find TNG to take itself way too seriously.

 **MBZ** : Yeah, and I know a lot of sailors, and let me tell you, their stories are much closer to TOS than they are to TNG. I think TNG just plays into a lot of fans' idealization of these great people in our military.

 _Uh oh_ , Jamal thought. _We're about to get one of MBZ's diatribes about the military industrial complex._ Jamal admitted to himself that they were fun. Then he wondered what she meant by knowing "a lot of sailors".

Jamal and Muggle-Born-Zabir continued this conversation for about two hours. After reading a mini-diatribe about putting our military personnel on pedestals, Jamal and MBZ debated and argued about the merits of Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Captain Brooks, and Captain Janeway. Then they speculated on what kind of captain Pike had been, and whether Spock was a good captain in the TOS movies.

Then they started speaking about living in the Southeast United States while having more liberal political leanings. They admitted it was easier being in blue enclaves in a red state, but it wasn't the most ideal situation. Jamal shared that he had been born and raised in Brooklyn and envied how his friends back home could just assume most people in their city agreed with them politically. MBZ shared that she was born and raised in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and moved to New Orleans for college and found it a culture shock. But she said it inspired her to read more about Southern history and how the South saw the Civil War versus how most other people see it. She then realized New Orleans was not "The South" compared to many other places in "The South". New Orleans was this enticing mix of French, Spanish, African, Caribbean, Latin-American, and confederate slave culture mixed into one new product that was later filtered through a more puritanical American society. She then recommended that he read _Confederates in the Attic_ and describing a section in the book where the author, Tony Horowitz, asked Southerners, who had all this pride about the Confederacy, why they hated Jews, among other people they "othered" as enemies of the South. Most of the responses were because they killed "Jesus".

Jamal found that he simply loved reading what she wrote and would get excited whenever she sent him a message or replied to one of his. He imagined what she looked like as she never shared her picture nor gave explicit descriptions of herself. He tried to remember through her posts in the Off-topic sub-forum if she offered any pertinent information. He did not really care what she looked like at the moment though as she was going into some non-sequitur rant about Harry/Hermione shippers. Jamal found himself literally laughing out loud at her messages. When he simply said she was funny, she replied that she was glad he found her funny followed by a ":p".

She then circled back to living in a former Confederate state and asked Jamal if he knew anything about his family's history, if they had been slaves on plantations, or where in Africa he may have descended from. Jamal had to think about that one because he quite honestly did not know much about his own family's history before the 20th Century other than that they settled in Brooklyn starting as far as the Civil War. From that information, he deduced that his family were not slaves at the time of the Civil War. Jamal appreciated MBZ's sympathy about Jamal not knowing much about his own family history as it was ripped from him.

Jamal went full in while speaking to MBZ because this was the best conversation he had with anyone for a while. This made him think about his friends back at home and how he missed the rapport with the team. He imagined himself back in NYC simply lounging around Lenni's living room, and having these sorts of conversations with the team. MBZ came the closest to providing this for him.

* * *

MBZ notified JJBad that she had to go and run some errands before continuing research on her thesis but it had been a pleasure speaking with him. Jamal was disappointed that the conversation ended so abruptly, but he was also grateful because he had planned to work out and if MBZ had allowed it, he would have spent the whole day at his desk chatting with her.

Jamal decided to head down to the gym that his apartment complex provided. Walking down the stairs from his unit down to ground level, Jamal leisurely walked his way to the gym, past the giant-sized swimming pool. He had a lot of yardage to cover, as this entire apartment complex was probably half the size as the entire neighborhood of Fort Greene.

As Jamal was making his way there, he saw two women he recognized. They were neighbors in the same tower as him and they would often see each other collecting mail at around the same time. They were very attractive women, and Jamal often wanted to make conversation with them. However, they were just so intimidating and Jamal felt women like would not be interested in him. He just resigned himself to smile and wave while sometimes verbalizing a "hi" or "hello", to which they would return and sometimes smile or giggle. At least in the South, people were friendly and would wave back. In New York, who knows what could happen? It was like the lottery with results ranging from friendly to assault depending on where you were and who you were greeting.

Jamal and the two women seemed to be headed to the gym at the same time, making this walk a little awkward for him. No matter, Jamal thought. He would just work out like normal. As today was Saturday, Jamal would work on his back and biceps. Jamal put himself on a diligent monthly workout plan where his weeks would consist a different workout plan for each day. Jamal then thought about tomorrow's work out, which was leg day and he was not looking forward to that. Today, Jamal would do four sets of ten reps of seated rows; three sets of ten reps of bent over barbell rows; three sets of twelve reps of bent over rows; three sets of ten reps on the Smith Machine Upright rows; four sets of ten reps cable curls; three sets of ten reps of concentration curls; and three sets of ten reps of reverse barbell curls. Jamal would then do an half hour on the elliptical machine.

About an hour and a half later, Jamal wanted to just lie down right then and there and die. His arms and back were screaming in agony. Jamal worked out every day, but he started to reconsider his work out plan. His body seemed tense lately. He looked around to make sure the two attractive women he saw did not see him look so weakened. They were nowhere to be found. _Maybe they're using the jogging track upstairs_ , Jamal wondered.

"Good job!"

Jamal, drenched in sweat and his arms and back feeling as if he just did a shift at the masonry during biblical times, turned as he heard an unfamiliar voice. He saw this tall, fit, muscled, and lean man smiling at him.

"I think you're ready for a more advanced work out. I've been seeing you doing this weekly plan for months now, and I think your body has plateaued. You seem ready to move on to something better." The man then handed Jamal his business card. "Let me know if you ever want to work out together...oh and no-homo. Just would like a work out buddy!" The man smiled.

Jamal did not know why that man felt the need to say that. Jamal wondered he gave off an aura of being somebody who was homophobic, but he just shrugged his shoulders and dismissed it as a side-effect of living in Texas and the possibility that maybe that man was simply being careful. He politely thanked the man and took his card. The man then continued his intense workout of pyramiding reps. Jamal then smiled to himself thinking the man thought he was capable of doing more than the workout that made his body scream in pain.

 _I'll be feeling that more tomorrow,_ Jamal thought.

Jamal decided to sit and rest until the soreness of his muscles subsided. Jamal could not help but watch the man as he continued his workouts. This man worked out as if he had something to prove. As if there was something burdening him that he needed to get over. As Jamal watched the man switch to perform some sets of rack deadlifts, Jamal began calculating the gravitational potential energy needed to perform that task. Jamal looked at the poundage of the man's weights and calculated the work done the man was doing in lifting the object of mass (m) through a height. (h) He then saw the man had no trouble lifting his weight at a constant speed. Jamal knew that meant that the man was using a force that was equal to the weight (mg) he was lifting. Jamal quickly remembered that the proper formula to calculate this would be W=Fd=mgh.

Jamal wondered what would the formula be for his potential energy? Jamal could not figure out what would be in store for him after his one-year fellowship was up. The Physics and Astronomy Department at Rice adapted their two-year fellowship program into a one-year fellowship at his request due to quality of his dissertation "Alternate Dimensions, Existences, and Planes in Our Dimension under the Superstring Theory". However, they were not the most thrilled with Jamal because of it.

However, Jamal's desire to move back to NYC was stronger than his desire for secure employment and prime research opportunities in Astronomy at one of the most prestigious and well-respected universities in the country near the NASA headquarters.

Jamal still did not tell anyone else his plans to move back to NYC after he finished with his post-doctorate fellowship in the Spring Semester. He wanted to wait to secure a position or a fellowship somewhere in the City before he would tell anybody. Jamal hoped that this research fellowship and an assistant professorship, with experience teaching classes during his three years at Rice as a PhD candidate would make him a more viable candidate to the schools or scientific organizations or foundations in NYC.

The problem was that Jamal had decided to move back to NYC without actually seeing what was available. The competition for positions in NYC was fierce. Most people in Jamal's position would apply to any position related to his field and just move to wherever the best position was based. Jamal had made it difficult for himself by only narrowing his choices to the limited NYC area, and he realized that may not have been the best course of action. Doubts have started creeping into his head and he started thinking that he should have done the two-year fellowship to buy himself more time.

Due to Jamal's desperation to be a "member of the team" again, he found himself in the unenviable position of possibly moving back home unemployed – all because of his stubbornness to live in NYC. He knew why he desperately wanted to go back to NYC.

Sure, his family was there and he missed them. But after spending four years of college in Cambridge, Massachusetts and then three years of doctoral studies and research in Houston, Texas, Jamal was getting more desperate not to lose his connection with the Ghostwriter team. His family would always be there. The team? Who knew if there would still be a team a few years from now?

Jamal resented the fact that most of the team continued to socialize and interact without him, and he worried that their continued socializing without him would become permanent. How many close classmates did he have that he lost contact with, even within his insular field? Plenty.

Jamal's paranoia that the team would break off into their own sub-social groups seemed to have some teeth as every time he would visit them back in NYC, the initial meetings would be awkward as they tried to feel each other out before they went back to something close to the same level of comfort they had when they all lived together. The problem was that they would not really be in the same mental space as they were when he last saw them, so they would always have to start the whole thing over again. No amount of Emails and phone calls made it easier. He doubted they had that issue when they hung out without him, and he wondered if their need to keep in contact started dwindling due to them being more ready than he was to move on. It seemed their direction and personal velocities were headed in different directions and at different speeds.

His obsession with keeping the team together, with him playing the central figure, was so frustrating for him. Was his potential future always going to be tied up with Ghostwriter? Would it forever be tied up with being near the Ghostwriter team? What if they all end up moving away to different parts of the country? He had never discussed what any of their plans were. Sure, Alex would probably stay in Brooklyn since he is a detective there. But who knows where Lenni, Tina, Gaby, and Rob would go? Tina may stay with Alex if they stay together. But then, what if Tina hit it big and needed to move to L.A.? Alex may go with her. Rob had already lived in San Francisco for a time after he finished college, and he may still have some wanderlust as Jamal suspected Rob still did not feel like a permanent member of the team. Lenni would probably continue to have ties to NYC since the music scene was strong there, but what if some other cities had music scenes she wanted to explore? And Gaby? Jamal had no idea what Gaby was planning. It was not as if Ghostwriter kept them together anymore.

As time wore on, Jamal became increasingly sure that if not for Ghostwriter, Jamal would have happily taken the golden opportunity he was presented and done a two-year fellowship program. He had a position most people in his position would have killed to take. He probably would have gladly stayed in Houston as he enjoyed it here.

Houston had its attributes. It called itself the "Culinary and Cultural Capital of the South".

_(_ **_A/N_ ** _: This native New Orleans, Louisiana-born author scoffs at this description! New Orleans is where culture and the best local cuisine is at! Though Houston really is a great city and has us beat in population size, and sheer population diversity now that it's rising up to be one of the more "it" cities)._

Before he moved to Houston, the only Houston he was familiar with was Houston St. in Manhattan where north of it was known as "NoHo" and south of it was known as "SoHo" - that and the movie _Apollo 13_ 's famous line, "Houston, we have a problem.". Of course, in NYC, "Houston" was pronounced "HOW-stun" whereas in Texas, Houston was pronounced closer to "HUE-stun" something that took him longer than he wanted to admit to get used to.

When Jamal first moved to Houston, it had taken him time to get used to how flat and green Houston was despite the fact it had been urbanized to the point where it had little natural beauty. However, compared to NYC's concrete jungle with parks of various shapes and sizes interceding the City's grid throughout, Houston's southern vegetation was plentiful. It was also the biggest city in the South, meaning that it had its fair share of museums, parks, and performance art for Jamal to choose from.

One thing Jamal appreciated in Houston was that, not unlike NYC, it had great diversity. There was a ton of established Vietnamese, Indian, Nigerian, Ghanan, Russian, Greek, Mexican, Cuban, Venezuelan, Honduran, Chinese, and other communities in Houston with each bringing their culture and cuisine to the city. In fact, despite knowing Tina since he was 11, he met way more Vietnamese people in Houston than he had in NYC. The Vietnamese food was also much better, though Jamal thought the best Vietnamese food he had was in New Orleans.

Like New York, any kind of cuisine he wanted to eat, he could get in Houston. He may have to drive long distances to get it, but he can get it. One time, Jamal got into a particularly impassioned fight with one of his Houston-born colleagues and a Los Angeles-born colleague who argued their city had the best Chinese food. Jamal passionately argued that NYC had the best Chinese food to which they laughed at him. _They never visited Chinatown in Flushing, Queens; or Manhattan Chinatown,_ Jamal dismissed. His Houston-born colleague then gave him a list of restaurants to try and get back to him as there was no way the seafood in NYC would compare with the seafood they could get in the Gulf of Mexico.

One of the restaurants on the list, Tan Tan, was located in the Bellaire subdivision where Jamal lived. What caught Jamal's attention about this restaurant was that it stayed open till midnight. This proved to be quite useful when Jamal would have to stay late at the campus to finish his research for his doctorate, or prepare his lecture notes for classes he had to teach. After trying it, Jamal realized Houston Chinese food may have had NYC beat, so he made sure that every time he visited NYC, he would eat at a lot of Chinese restaurants and come back with the best locations to compete against the best ones in Houston.

Years of living in Houston gave Jamal some great memories. One of his funniest experiences was the time he told all of his students and colleagues, who hailed from Houston or anywhere outside of NYC, that he could hear their accents. They in-turn told him they could hear his, which was shocking to Jamal because he never thought he particularly had a strong New York accent; at least not like Alex or Gaby's anyway. Hell, he thought Rob had a stronger New York accent than he had and Rob was not even from New York. ( **A/N:** Rob may not be from NYC, but Todd Alexander surely was with his accent). They said they could hear it in the way he pronounced "coffee" as "cawfee"; "saw" as "sore"; "ball" as "bawl", and "water" as "wood-er". Hearing such blatant examples simply shocked and then disgusted Jamal. They made it sound like he was from Long Island, or worse, Staten Island. He recorded himself saying those words and he did not hear what they were hearing at all. They in turn did not hear any Texas twang or other kind of accent he claimed he heard from them.

If not for his need to be tied with the Ghostwriter team, Jamal could see himself happily living in Houston as he also preferred Houston's much warmer weather. Sure, Houston could get unbearably hot in the summer like the rest of the Southeastern United States; not to mention incredibly humid where it feels like you're swimming in the air ( **A/N** : If you ever been to New Orleans in August, a city that is below sea-level, you know what I'm talking about).

However, so could NYC, he thought. He would often tell people when they asked him how he liked the humidity in the South that they obviously never been in a non-ventilated underground subway station in the middle of the summer surrounded by hundreds of other people breathing on you as you're waiting for the same train wearing a suit. He would say it felt like New Orleans without the open air. He used New Orleans as an example as they all were personally familiar with its humidity and the city just being known for it as it was built like a bowl under sea-level trapping all the moisture from being on the mouth of the Mississippi River, south of Lake Pontchartrain, and north of the Gulf of Mexico. He would remind his Houstonians that Manhattan was an island. Like New Orleans, NYC was surrounded by water: the Hudson to the west; the East River to the East; the Atlantic Ocean further East towards the South; and the Jamaica and Upper and Lower New York Bays to the South.

Jamal could have been happy to stay in Houston as he could get his cultural fix there. Sure, NYC was the cultural center of the world, or at least the United States, but New Yorkers acted like nothing existed west of the Hudson River. Hundreds, if not thousands, of whole cultures of all kinds exist outside of New York in the United States with all of them having incredible histories. Plus, if Jamal wanted to see mainstream culture like Broadway shows, ballet, operas, museum exhibits, Houston had that as well. Sure, a particular show or exhibit would need to tour in Houston, but Houston was such a huge city that it would surely be one of the first stops of any major production in or coming to the United States.

And yet, despite all of that, Jamal simply missed New York. No amount of rationalization would have made him happy in Houston, with or without his need to be an active, in-person member of the Team. New York was a part of him through and through. The only reason he had some doubts about this was because of his anger towards Ghostwriter. This anger sullied his genuine affection for the team and NYC.

As Jamal continued to dwell about how his obsession with solving Ghostwriter's identity and ability to exist, the more convinced he became that it colored his whole life, and that meeting Ghostwriter had permanently messed him up. Jamal convinced himself that if it wasn't for Ghostwriter, Jamal would not be this obsessed with _having_ to move back to NYC and keep connected with a team he was unsure had the same level of commitment and worry he had with keeping the team together.

In some ways, Jamal felt like an immigrant who had been forced away from his home, and then dreamed of a time he could go back and relive the same exact life he had before when, in actuality, all the people back in the home country had moved on and continued living without him. _Had Ghostwriter dwindled Jamal's potential energy?_ Jamal wondered.

* * *

Once Jamal snapped out of obsessing about his own potential energy for the day, he shot up from his seat on the gym floor and exited. Jamal's muscles were still a little sore, so he decided to take a dip in the pool. _You never saw outdoor swimming pools in New York much less beautiful, large ones like this_ , Jamal thought to himself.

Jamal rested in the water, absorbing the cool, sheer blue water full of chlorine. Just then, the same two young women Jamal had seen before walked towards the pool. He offered another friendly smile, which they returned. He decided to swim some laps, so he would not just be sitting in the pool looking creepy. He did like what he saw, however. This made his muscles sorer.

After a few laps, he exited out of the pool and realized what a stupid decision it was to go into the pool considering he did not have a towel. However, Houston weather provided. Since it was nice and sunny, he decided to just sit on a pool chair and dry in the sun. Jamal felt the sun's infrared, visible, and ultraviolet light warm up his skin as he slowly dried off.

"Um...excuse me?" one of the women's voice said.

Jamal looked up to see a seriously fit and attractive young woman speaking to him. He noticed her sparkling eyes, tan skin, and long, and thick brown hair with blond highlights. Then her friend, a beautiful blonde woman with green eyes joined them.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but my name is Yolanda and this is my friend Heather. We've always waved to each other before but never introduced ourselves."

Jamal smiled. _What luck!_

"Hi, I'm Jamal. It's a pleasure to meet you." Jamal said flashing a smile.

"A pleasure," Heather giggled.

"Jamal! What an unusual name!" Yolanda responded.

 _It was?_ Jamal thought to himself. He simply smiled in response.

Then Yolanda and Heather took seats on opposite sides of him.

"Are you ladies from here?" Jamal asked, not knowing what else to ask them.

"Yeah, we both are. What about you?" Yolanda answered with Heather simply watching.

"I'm from New York - Brooklyn actually," Jamal answered.

"We were right!" Heather then exclaimed.

 _Huh?_ Jamal wondered.

"Sorry," Heather continued, "it's just we've heard you speak a few times and we were totally sure you were from New York."

"Oh yeah, well I'm glad I could confirm," Jamal answered.

"What is like there?" Yolanda asked.

"Have you ever been?" Jamal asked.

"No." They both answered in unison.

Jamal, Yolanda, and Heather continued their conversation. It turned out Yolanda and Heather never traveled outside of the South much and had never been to NYC. They asked Jamal all about it: what it was like growing up there, and what 9/11 was like. They asked him if he had ever been to The Bronx because Yolanda LOVED Jennifer Lopez who then asked him if he ever ridden the 6 train. They listened to Jamal regale them with stories of growing up in NYC with such serious attentiveness even though Jamal thought this was boring. It was until Jamal told them he was a professor at Rice and explained a bit about what he studied that he knew for sure that he was boring them.

Heather explained that she worked in a lab helping test blood at a medical center while Yolanda said she worked for an art gallery near the Galleria Mall. They had been friends since grade school. The conversation came to a natural end, and Jamal decided he rather go back to his apartment than continue. Jamal bade them a polite good-bye.

As Jamal exited the pool area, he wondered if he could have gotten any of their numbers if he wanted to. He then convinced himself that he did not really want to. He thought they were sexy and attractive, and they were polite conversationalists, but Jamal simply did not feel anything. Jamal honestly had not felt much of anything in that regard for a long time. Muggle-Born-Zabir was the closest since his college days. During college, he would go on a few dates with women at M.I.T., Harvard, and Radcliffe after the whole "Ghost boy" thing died down. Some of them bordered on serious. But they were always missing something. They didn't have what he had with Jasmine.

Towards the end of the past three years in Houston, in the midst of Jamal's PhD schedule, he got heavily involved with a fellow PhD student in the Math Department named Danielle. They were comfortable, they had routine sex, and they enjoyed similar interests. But Jamal never felt the need to go further, and neither did she. In the end, they realized they latched on to each other for convenience as they both were in highly demanding and time-consuming fields of study and needed the companionship and routine to keep going.

Last year, after she finished her PhD studies, she was offered a post-doctoral position in Denver. Jamal never felt the need to follow her. In fact, when they were applying for post-doctoral fellowships, they did not even think to coordinate where they both would be applying, and neither was too upset about that fact. Danielle never even visited NYC or met his friends. They never seriously fought about anything. Jamal did not know how he could date a whole person and have none of that happen.

Every time Jamal thought about Danielle, he wondered just what exactly did he experience with her? Why didn't they have serious conversations or fights? Surely, they went on dates and fought like other couples, right? Jamal seriously could not remember any specific instances, only remembering that they did happen. What did either of them receive from this relationship to keep going even if they subconsciously knew that they did not have much of a future? Was it comfort? But comfort was usually a good thing. No, it was just like having furniture. Nice to have around, and to make their lives easier, but nothing more than that. The fact that he described his one-and-a-half-year relationship in those terms was very concerning to Jamal's friends.

Even as he was confused about why he spent a year-and-a-half in a relationship he did not particularly feel much passion for, Jamal felt he was doing just fine and hated having Alex and Rob of all people tell him otherwise. He figured that they were only twenty-five-years-old. They all had plenty of time. Yet, Alex and Rob told him that was no way to live when Jamal went back to visit NYC this past summer. They told Jamal they feared he was living in a void romantically-speaking, and feared this would continue well into middle age where he would not actively look for a life partner. Basically, Alex and Rob told Jamal that he needed date more seriously, and not repeat that sort of relationship again.

Jamal did not know why they were so concerned. First, he thought it was pretty galling of Rob to tell him to date more seriously just because Rob had maybe two serious girlfriends since they reconnected back in 1998. _Rob is in no way more advanced in this department than I am_ , he had thought. Second, he thought Alex and Tina's possibly codependent gravitation towards each other throughout the years that practically ended the serious relationships each of them had with other people was not a very healthy nor desirable way to have a relationship. Jamal then hated himself for thinking about his friends in that way. He realized with them, he had just adopted the strategy of "the best defense is an offense".

After much resistance from Jamal, with attempts to either deflect or dismiss their concerns, Alex lost his temper and accused Jamal of still having feelings for Jasmine, a name he did not want to bring up with the rest of the team. Alex quickly apologized, but this was met with silence from Jamal. Jasmine brought up bad memories for Jamal as he honestly felt he would never experience the same heightened passion and love that he had with her with any other woman.

Further, talking about Jasmine made Jamal think about Ghostwriter. Jamal had risked everything during his junior year of high school when, out of sheer love for her, Jamal revealed Ghostwriter's existence to her. Despite this, Ghostwriter never revealed himself to Jasmine, which prompted the start of the breakdown of their relationship. Jamal's revelation to Jasmine also nearly destroyed the team's trust in Jamal. He was happy Rob had not been there to experience that fight considering how fragile Rob's ego was regarding his place on the team. The team later notified Rob that this near breakdown was a major reason why Rob stopped receiving letters from them for a time.

 _Another problem Ghostwriter_ _caused me_ , Jamal thought. Rob then accused Jamal of putting Jasmine on a pedestal, and that it was a high school relationship that was most likely puppy love. He then argued that Ghostwriter did not ruin that relationship. Jamal then barked back that Rob could not have possibly known since he was not there when Jamal dated Jasmine in high school. Rob took that as evidence that Jamal still harbored feelings for Jasmine, put her on a pedestal, and compared any potential girl he met with the same intense feelings he had for Jasmine. Jamal scoffed and replied that Rob had "an active imagination."

That was the end of that and the three haven't spoken about Jamal's love life since. Unfortunately, it was not the only thing they hadn't spoken about since that argument. Jamal, Alex, and Rob had not seriously spoken, even on the phone, since that last conversation. Instead, they would text or even call each other as if that conversation never happened. They kept it to light-hearted and casual topics. It was easier for all. And yet, Jamal desperately wished he was with them right now.

As Jamal walked, lost in his thoughts, he heard someone shout for him.

"Hey!" shouted Yolanda.

Jamal turned. Then he and Yolanda just looked at each other for a few beats. Yolanda looked at him puzzled, and then she laughed.

"I guess you're not going to do it," she finally said.

"Do what?" Jamal asked.

"I was waiting for you to ask me on a date!" Yolanda said.

Jamal was flabbergasted. "Oh, I...I did not think you were interested."

"Excuse you, but I went all the way up to you and introduced myself. I always wave to you when we run into each other, and I give you my _dazzling_ smile," Yolanda joked.

Jamal could not help but laugh.

"Seriously, are you not interested?" she asked. "Listen, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and I saw you talking to that fit dude in the gym earlier, so if you're into that guy..."

"What? No...No-homo!" Jamal blurted.

"What?" Yolanda asked amused.

"I mean, yeah, I am interested. I just did not want to seem creepy or anything, I mean you're in your bikini."

"Aw, thanks for thinking that. But this is a sports bra and just really short stretch shorts."

"Do you want to have dinner tonight?" Jamal asked, wondering why not. She was seriously dazzling and maybe Alex and Rob had a point.

"Ok so dinner tonight. There's a new place I want to try downtown. It's like an Asian-fusion type of thing, if that's fine with you?" Yolanda asked.

"Dinner it is," Jamal said.

Yolanda and Jamal exchanged phone numbers, and it was decided he would pick her up from her unit.

As Yolanda turned to leave, he noticed she was swaying her hips a bit more aggressively. He did like to watch her leave. Jamal turned and smiled at the prospect of what this dinner could lead to. Maybe Yolanda would give his life a much-needed boost of energy.

* * *

Once Jamal entered his apartment, he looked around and realized as much as he tried to fill up the space, it still felt empty. He bought couches, chairs, barstools, bookshelves, desks, and even a pool table to fill it up. And yet it did not look like somebody lived in it. It almost looked like one of those display apartments they put up in catalogues, brochures, or websites when realtors wanted to advertise a unit. This was a far cry from the incredibly cluttered and unquestionably lived-in brownstone that he had grown up in.

Jamal found himself automatically going to his computer to see if MBZ sent him another message. He was surprised at the excitement and anticipation he was feeling. He circled his mouse to get the display to move away from its screensaver. He maximized his screen and found three new messages from MBZ. The first was about starting _The Kobayashi Maru_ and finding the entire premise so refreshing as it had been a while since she read a novel where the story was told from different perspectives. The second was her complaining that it made her procrastinate on some much-needed drafting she had to do on her thesis. The third message was her asking what his plans were for the day, and how she hoped her messages were not distracting him from anything important.

 **JJBad** : No, your messages are not distracting me. In fact, they are a much-needed break from what just happened.

MBZ then begged JJBad to tell her more. He then told her about the incident at the gym and his conversation with Yolanda and Heather with him going on a date with Yolanda that very evening.

 **MBZ** : What's Asian-fusion?

 **JJBad:** I'm sure it's like American food with some sort of ginger sauce and spring roll wrappings.

 **MBZ** : Sounds about right. But congrats, man! Not many people can get a hot girl to ask you on a date like that!

Jamal did not understand why he did not like MBZ's reaction to the news he was going on a date with Yolanda. He did not know what he expected from her reaction, but he was hoping for something different.

 **MBZ** : Btw, my name is Maha. I thought it was fair to give you mine since you told me yours when you told me about Heather and Yolanda's reaction to your name.

Jamal then realized they had never exchanged first names. He was so enraptured by their conversation that he did not even feel the need to know her name. He just wanted to hear her speak more…or read what she wrote more.

 **JJBad** : Pleasure to meet you, Maha.

 **MBZ** : Likewise, sir.

 **JJBad** : Did I tell you I read some of your Ron/Hermione fan fictions?

 **MBZ** : Oh God, please don't tell me what you think. Or maybe you should tell me...

 **JJBad** : They were really well-written. I was impressed by the amount of detail you put into your work. I think you should adapt them into original work.

 **MBZ:** Haha, no, I do not think so. I will never share these with anyone outside the HP fandom nor will anyone know the actual person who wrote them. They are embarrassing.

Jamal did not like that MBZ did not recognize how great he found her work. He wasn't sure if they were actually good, but he himself enjoyed them quite a bit. Jamal decided to change the subject.

 **JJBad** : What made you choose your username?

 **MBZ** : Oh, I love Harry Potter.

 **JJBad** : Yeah, but why "muggle-born". I found most readers would like to be wizards or something.

 **MBZ** : Muggle-born means you are a wizard. It just means you come from a family where it's not expected...like...I like the idea of something "great" happening from places people don't expect, not to say non-magical people can't be as great as "magical" ones, but you know what I mean. Like how despite the fact you may come from nothing, you yourself have a choice in what you can be. No matter how bad your environment is or how people may have little-to-no or bad expectations for you, you don't have to be defined by them.

From that last message, Jamal felt a real longing and yearning in Maha's voice. He also felt a longing and yearning himself. He wished he was with her and seeing her expression as she "said" that to him. He wished he could smell her, and be near her as she spoke. He imagined she spoke a million miles a minute given her at times overly-long posts on the message board. Then he realized he had left her hanging with no reply for a few long moments. He had to think of a reply.

 **JJBad** : I get that.

Jamal had no idea why he said that. He only knew if he had written how he truly felt, he would have died on embarrassment and exited out of the page on his browser. He may have closed his entire browser. He may have shut down his computer. Feeling as if he had to write something more, he added:

 **JJBad** : If you were a professor at Hogwarts, what subject would you teach?

 **MBZ** : Muggle studies.

 **JJBad** : Seriously?

 **MBZ** : Incredibly serious!

With that, MBZ explained why she felt muggle studies would be the study of the future in a post-Voldemort _Harry Potter_ universe. ( **A/N** : Remember, this was before _Deathly Hallows_ was released. In fact, it was before _The Half-Blood Prince_ was released). MBZ explained that if the wizarding world did not go to crap at the end, then she could see a post-war wizarding world being ripe for progressive attitudes, and interest in muggle culture. She said she would love to teach muggle music, pop culture, history, and then probably lobby for the integration of muggle and wizarding worlds as she felt the whole separation was a condescending attitude coming from a deep-seated love of British class/aristocratic culture that author JK Rowling had.

 **JJBad** : So you want to teach about muggle music? Which artists would you teach?

With that, Maha excitedly went on to list a few of her favorite artists, one of which was Lenni Frazier. Then Jamal went on his own rant about how Hogwarts did not teach English, mathematics, or science, and how all of their students were deprived of STEM education to the point of near child abuse. Jamal and Maha continued their conversation until about an hour before Jamal had to get ready for his date with Yolanda. Jamal did not realize he had been chatting with Maha for about four hours. He honestly wanted to cancel but when Jamal stated it was nearly time for him to get ready for his date, Maha told him to "go get it, tiger."

* * *

Jamal knocked on Yolanda's door. Despite Jamal preferring to continue chatting with Maha, he ended up putting in an effort for Yolanda. He carefully shaved, put on his best cologne, and wore his nice black blazer and button down with black slacks.

Heather opened the door, and let Jamal in. After some small talk where Heather was clearly digging for more personal information for Jamal, Yolanda came out to the living room to greet him. She was seriously a knock-out. Yolanda looked simply incredible at the moment.

Jamal and Yolanda made their way to his car where she praised his taste in cars. They exchanged some pleasantries on their way to the restaurant where Jamal repeated to Yolanda how incredible she looked. The effect did not hit as well the second time around. Jamal found himself having a harder time making conversation with Yolanda. He felt tired; as if all the conversational powers he had were depleted earlier. Yolanda seemed happy enough to enjoy the car ride set to music.

"Who is this?" Yolanda asked.

"Oh, it's Lenni Frazier," replied Jamal, not telling her Lenni was one of his best friends.

"This music is sort of weird," she said.

"You don't like it?" He asked.

"It's _different_ ," she said. "I'm more of a reggaetón kinda girl. Mind if I change it?"

Before he could say anything, Yolanda turned the stereo to FM mode and put on the local reggaetón station playing "Gasolina". Yolanda then started bouncing to the music.

"This isn't all I listen to," Yolanda said – sounding self-conscious and apologetic. "Working at the art gallery, I've grown to appreciate classical music too."

Jamal smiled at her and started to sing "Gasolina", whatever he could manage with his non-Spanish-speaking skills. Jamal had lived in Houston for three years and have known Alex and Gabby for about 15 years and it just occurred to him that he still did not speak Spanish – even at a conversational level. He made a mental note to rectify that.

As Jamal and Yolanda entered the restaurant, he thought it was obviously inspired by the new wave restaurant interior movement. It reminded Jamal of the insides of a dinosaur skeleton but with low-seated white cushioned chairs, sleek plastic white circular tables, and orb-like lighting attached all over the walls and tables. It almost looked like the inside of some Scandinavian interior decorator's fever dream.

"This place is interesting," Jamal said at their table once seated as he looked around observing the patterning of the orb lighting.

"Yeah, this place is really amazing," Yolanda said, seemingly sincerely impressed with the restaurant's wavy, geometric-inspired design. "I've wanted to come here for so long, but never had the opportunity. I think this sort of art is the future, so many of our customers are looking for this look."

"Well, good," Jamal said entertained by Yolanda's genuine enthusiasm. She seriously looked like an excited child.

"Yeah, and I love Asian-fusion so..."

"I love Asian food too," Jamal replied.

"Yeah, it's the best, and the bartender is supposed to be incredible..."

"Oh yeah? Are you into bartending?" Jamal asked, wanting to look like an attentive date. Since it truly had been a while since Jamal went on a proper date, he thought it would be wise to put in the extra effort. With Danielle, they did not necessarily date in the traditional sense. They just started coming over each other's places, and got comfortable in each other's presence with time. They would eat out some times, but mostly they would be distracted by their respective programs to feel the need to make idle small talk.

"I am," Yolanda replied. "I mean it's a hobby. You're a good listener."

Jamal felt a little embarrassed. He felt like he was doing the bare minimum, but Yolanda already seemed so eager. Jamal suspected that it was as if Yolanda may have needed this date more than he did.

Then a few moments passed of awkward silence. Yolanda looked down at the floor, glancing at Jamal every so often while Jamal tried to busy himself with looking at the drinks menu, and then around the restaurant. Then he locked eyes with Yolanda. They then both laughed at the awkwardness.

"Let's order a drink," suggested Yolanda.

After a few rounds of mixed drinks and appetizers, Jamal and Yolanda were hitting it off, laughing at each other's jokes, and challenging each other regarding whether they were a "fox" or a "hedgehog". Jamal actually found Yolanda to not only be beautiful, but fun to talk to once they both got over the initial awkwardness. She could match Jamal's answers or declarations with her own funny one-liners. Yolanda also had a very sexy way of speaking even when she was being funny. Jamal was finding himself more and more attracted to her.

After dinner, both Jamal and Yolanda decided to walk side-by-side near the restaurant to enjoy some of the new upcoming art pieces being put up around Houston's downtown area in an art revival effort by the city. Yolanda explained the background story of any of the local artists she recognized from the pieces they observed.

Jamal decided to kiss her before she got into another lecture inspired by piece in front from them. This kiss turned into an intense make out session as Jamal and Yolanda generously allowed the other's tongues to explore their mouths and their hands to explore the rest of their bodies.

"I want to go your place," Yolanda whispered to Jamal. This was met with Jamal kissing her even more aggressively. He realized how much he needed this. It was as if all the tension his body had was dissipating. His muscles did not feel sore anymore.

Then Yolanda asked, "Where should we go on our next date? This one was so awesome."

 _Next date?_ Jamal thought. They had not even finished their first date.

Yolanda then gently pushed Jamal away from her and smiled seductively as she waited for Jamal to answer.

"Oh um...I guess we could do dinner again," Jamal answered.

"When?" Yolanda said as she pulled Jamal closer leaning up for a kiss.

"I have to check my schedule, but I can let you know afterwards," Jamal answered.

Then Yolanda pushed Jamal away. "What's with you?"

Jamal confused asked, "What's wrong?"

"I had to ask you on this date, then I had to name the restaurant, then I had to suggest drinks because you were not giving me anything to work with, and now I ask you a simple question about our next date, and you can't give me an answer. I had to steer this entire date. Do you not know how to ask a girl out or how to date a girl?"

"Listen, I don't know where this is coming from. You seem a bit too eager about this date. It's like you're just trying to force things to happen here," Jamal answered.

"Force things to happen? You were the one who shoved your tongue down my throat!"

"You kissed me too! In fact, you started it!"

"Yeah because I thought we were finally having a good time, and then we went back to this crap about you not knowing how to move this forward."

"Move this forward?" Jamal asked. He looked at Yolanda's face and noticed her entire demeanor changed. Long gone was the enticing, inviting woman and now in front of him was a hardened woman with her guard up and ready to attack. There was something darker about her now. "Listen, I just thought we could enjoy this date and then..."

"And then what? You could fuck me and then forget me? Smash then dash? You fucking boys are all the same...you know that? You're a real jerk."

"No..." Jamal answered defensively, "I'm not..."

"Yeah you are. I bet you were going to drive me home when you've had a few drinks, weren't you? Just to get some ass!"

Jamal then simply shut down. He decided he no longer wanted to answer Yolanda or engage. It was clearly a lost cause at this point.

After waiting a few beats for Jamal to answer, Yolanda simply lost patience and stated, "Don't talk to me or Heather again." Yolanda then proceeded to walk away from Jamal. She made a phone call. Jamal could hear her asking Heather to pick her up.

Jamal felt the need to follow her and wait until she at least was picked up.

"Don't follow me!" Yolanda screamed.

People walking by turned to look but decided it was better to keep walking.

"I can't just leave you here alone. I'll just sit and wait here until Heather picks you up." Jamal said.

Yolanda then told Jamal to leave her alone and that she was going to go back inside the restaurant and wait inside the bar. Not wanting her to be uncomfortable or distressed by his presence, Jamal left Yolanda on her own.

As Jamal drove back to his apartment, he wondered how he was going to handle seeing both Yolanda and Heather around the complex again. Maybe it was a good thing he only decided to do a one-year fellowship after all.

* * *

Jamal decided to take a hot shower once he came home. He needed the water to wash all over him and that date. He scrubbed as hard as he could to get any remaining residue of that cologne, that date, and Yolanda off of him.

When Jamal got out of the shower, he saw that he had missed a phone call from Lenni. Jamal decided to call her back. He needed to hear a friendly voice.

"Hello?" Lenni answered.

"Hey Lenni?" Jamal replied.

"Oh hey, Jamal? What's up?" Lenni asked.

"You tell me, you called me," Jamal said declaratively.

"Oh, I just wanted to call and see how you were," Lenni replied.

"I'm fine," Jamal lied.. "Actually..."

Jamal preceded to tell Lenni about everything that happened that day, from the gym, to the conversation at the pool, and to the ill-fated date with Yolanda.

After a few beats, Lenni replied, "You know, it sounds like that was not about you at all. It seems to be about something else she's going through. She sounds like she's in so much pain that she lost perspective or the ability to see things as they are."

"I figured," Jamal said.

"Bad dates happen," Lenni said sympathetically.

"I don't want to dwell on this anymore, what's going on with you?"

"Well, don't tell anyone this, but this past Monday, something happened between Rob and me."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Jamal.

"We were just having dinner at Nobou's like usual, and it was raining and cold in New York, big surprise, right? We ended up huddled under an umbrella while waiting for Rob's bus back to Bushwick, and we ended up holding hands and then I ended up on that bus back to Bushwick."

"Did you?"

"No! I think it's too soon for me to do anything like that," Lenni interrupted knowing what Jamal had meant. "No, I mean it's Rob. We just ended up talking some more and trying to figure out where we wanted to take this. He agreed with me to take this slow and to see how we can change our relationship from friendship to a different kind of relationship."

"How does that make you feel?" Jamal asked not realizing he was adopting the therapist language Lenni had been used to. "I mean, you and Rob have been friends for so long, how do you think you want to proceed with this?"

"I honestly don't know," Lenni said. "It's not enough that I'm starting something like this with Rob, but there's the fact I'm still not completely over Kyle."

Jamal then listened to Lenni as she relived her entire history with Rob, something Jamal had missed for some reason. He had no idea Rob and Lenni harbored flames for each other and that Lenni felt her feelings towards Rob intensify while she was still engaged to Kyle. With Kyle dying, no wonder Lenni had been such an emotional wreck. Jamal had no idea Lenni had been going through all of that, and he had not been there to help her through it. Jamal felt a sudden surge of guilt overcome him. He wanted nothing more than to be with Lenni right now to help her and Rob navigate this new uncharted path.

"But I think I'm finally starting to get past some of the pain," Lenni said. "It's like, all this time I was hurting so much because I was focusing on my failures to live up to this self-imposed ideal of person who has a dead fiancé. Like there was a right way and a wrong way to live or to be in this situation. I've been racked with guilt about not living up to the role and just felt like a bad person.

"My therapist and Rob are helping me see life isn't like that. You know Rob. He doesn't see things in black/white. He sees so many shades and he's helping me through that. And I honestly care for him and I know he cares for me. I feel like I can finally see clearly and realize a lot of my feelings were just self-centeredness and being somewhat addicted to the misery, if that makes sense."

Jamal knew all too well what that was like. Hearing Lenni talk about addiction to misery hit him like a ton of bricks. However, Lenni was still talking, so Jamal kept his composure.

"But it's hard. I still feel this guilt and apprehension. It's just now, it feels so much better because for the first time in a long time, I feel like there might be a light at the end of this tunnel, you know?"

Jamal was happy for Lenni, but he could not get over the fact that he had known them for so long and did not even detect a hint of what was brewing between them. He then realized he had been living away from them for the past seven years and had not been paying as much attention to the members of the team as he should have been. He had only been wallowing in his own self-pity.

"Anyway, the reason why I called you was because I wanted you to be the first to know about what Rob and me may become," Lenni said.

"Why me?" Jamal asked.

"Do you really have to ask Jamal?" Lenni said laughing.

Jamal did not answer, prompting Lenni to continue, "Because you're one of my first friends. Actually, you're my first close friend. You're the leader of our team after all."

Jamal was happy he was not with her at the moment because he felt tears slowly fall down. "I'm glad for you Lenni, and I will always be here for you, no matter where I am."

"I know," Lenni said with such confidence and sureness that Jamal started to believe it. "No matter where any of us are, we'll always have each other."

After his conversation with Lenni ended, Jamal realized he ignored an in-coming call from Alex. Jamal listened to a voicemail Alex had left.

After listening to Alex's urgent sounding voicemail, Jamal called him back. After speaking to Alex, Jamal then went on Expedia to find the best rates for round-trip flights to New York. He was going to Tina's dinner party.

* * *

As Jamal readied for bed, he opened his trusty Sony laptop he used for business trips and to project lecture notes for his classes.

Jamal opened a new blank document.

_Hey GW,_

_I don't know if you read my last message before I exited out. If you did, then I'm sorry. If not, then I'm still sorry._

_I've been thinking a lot about how knowing you has affected me. For some reason, I've been getting into the habit of blaming you for everything. A habit that has lasted about five years I'm sorry to say. Since I started writing these actually._

_I've been so focused about how knowing you hurt me, and how knowing you continues to hurt me. I'm just angry about a lot of things...about my reaction to you and to you leaving. It's been destructive. I am also angry at how hurt I am that you've left without warning._

_I had this strange date tonight where I caused this woman some real pain. I did not intend to, and I'm not saying any of it was my fault, but it made me realize what happens to us when we're so focused on our own pain we don't see the other person in front of us._

_Maybe that is what happened between me and Danielle. Maybe we were both in our own little worlds concentrating on ourselves, we never considered the other person. Instead, we were just_ alone ** _together_** _. I hope Danielle has found peace now._

_For the past few years, I've been so angry with you. I saw how my life has turned out and how my focus on you caused me so much pain to the point where I wish I never met you. But I know that's on me. I've been so focused on my own pain; I did not even consider any pain you're having. I've been so self-centered that I did not even consider why you would want to leave. You must have been hurting yourself. I have never even considered that. I thought I had, but me holding on to this anger shows I never_ **_truly_ ** _thought about how you must have been hurting to leave us like that._

_If you're staying away because you think you're causing us pain...don't worry about it. We're not_ **_children_ ** _anymore. We can handle you being with us. You don't cause us any pain. We love you, GW. If you don't know that, then you don't know how lovely you are._

_Did you leave because you were afraid I was devoting my entire life to figuring you out and feared you were causing me some detrimental harm and preventing me from reaching my potential? If that's the case, then I have to admit that I can't promise that I won't be curious to figure out your history, piece together your memories, and to find out how you exist, but it will be done with you with us. You know me - taking numbers and figures, pulling puzzles apart and putting them back together, and questioning things...it's me._

_What I do promise, is that I won't let it consume me anymore._

_But even if we never find out, all I – no – all we need is for you to be here, to tell us you love us, the entire team. You are not different from us. Just because you are a "ghost" doesn't make you less of a member of our team. We are made out of the same fundamental energy, aren't we? Believe me, we are; the superstring theory is as real as you and me._

_Whatever happened to us when you left, it does not matter. We all want to go back to the beginning - back to the start. We can do it. We're the Ghostwriter team; we can do_ **_anything_ ** _._

Jamal reviewed his document, and then hit "CTRL + S" and named this document "Ghostwriter".

Jamal looked at the bright display, and noticed that there were private messages from Maha waiting for him. Jamal decided to close his laptop and allow himself to finally rest.

As Jamal lied there thinking about the private messages, he tossed and turned in bed trying to force himself to sleep. After an hour of no sleep, Jamal opened the lid of his laptop and read Maha's messages.

Jamal then smiled at what he was reading, feeling a new sensation of excitement and anticipation he had not felt in a long time. Jamal readied himself to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Hi, readers! Please leave me a comment, review, or a PM. I need to know if you guys are actually enjoying this story or if I'm totally missing the mark here.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this Jamal chapter even if this one was particularly angsty. I promise we're getting closer to when the story picks up. Next chapter will be about Tina and the one after will be Casey, and then we will finally get into that much-awaited dinner party with the team hanging out.
> 
> If it's slow-moving, it's because we're just still on the introductory character chapters right now. After we get through that, we will chapters that won't just focus on single characters like this and will shift perspectives more often. The story will pick up and the characters will move forward. Also, after the dinner party, the chapters won't all be have this sad tone. I definitely plan to have fun chapters with the team enjoying themselves. I know it's sort of hard to believe with all this angst going on right now. Maybe it's just writing Gaby and Jamal one-after-the-other making me feel like I have to convince you guys this fic will be fun. I promise this story will be fun even if there's a lot more drama I'm planning.
> 
> Again, let me know what you think so far. I hope you guys are enjoying the journey!


	10. Chapter 9: A Pure Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina Nguyen wants to do it all and have it all, and she believes she can. But can she? What happens when everything becomes overwhelming? How does her desire to do and have everything affect others in her life, and what does it do to her mental state and self-confidence?

_Kindness  
_ _ordinary  
_ _happy_

 _Every time I see it  
_ _Ordinary kind person  
_ _I feel in my heart  
_ _Calm and happy  
_ _Ah  
_ _what  
_ _There are such people in the world.  
_ _Simple person_

 _Every time I see it  
_ _Ordinary kind person  
_ _I feel in my heart  
_ _Calm and happy  
_ _Ah  
_ _what  
_ _There are such people in the world.  
_ _There is this person in the world.  
_ _There are such people in the world.  
_ _There is this person in the world.  
_ _Simple person_

\- Lim Giong

**Wednesday, September 21, 2005.**

**5:30 am**

Tina Nguyen sat at the makeshift work area she and Alex created on the kitchen counter. During his lunch break yesterday, he helped her move some of her film equipment, including her desktop, to his apartment. She had waken up about 45-minutes ago to get an early start on editing _Sassy Street Walk_ , the documentary about the trials and tribulations transgender individuals in NYC faced by simply existing. The bright screen lit up Tina's face as she carefully watched and rewound the footage. She ran through this unfinished edit of the film countless times already. Each time, she made more notes as to what needed to be added and what scenes needed to be re-arranged to make this work properly.

Tina then watched a scene that had yet been cut into the film. This scene took place at Chelsea Piers and focused on a transgender woman named Andromeda. Tina watched as Andromeda spoke about the issues she had while trying to use public restrooms in the city. Tina remembered that this take was filmed after NYPD police officers attempted to disrupt their shoot and harassed them while they filmed the first portion of Andromeda's interview in front of two gendered bathroom doors. Tina wished this was the final scene that needed to be intercut into the film, but this was one of many scenes she had planned to edit or re-edit into the film. Tina was happy that all of her music licensing requests had been approved, but that only meant she still had to add in music cues to her film. They were not cheap, so Tina made a note to use as many of her requested songs as possible. Tina also needed to rework the title cards that were used to add more information or give context to the scenes and what the subjects were speaking about. This was a documentary, so title cards with proper descriptors were absolutely necessary. Every time Tina changed her mind about the sequence order of her scenes, she would have to change the text of the title cards to ensure the information provided matched what the viewer actually saw. Tina kept changing her mind about the order of sequences, thus created more work for herself.

Thanks to Alex's repeated insistence that they spend nights together in the past few weeks, even before he properly moved into his apartment, Tina fell behind the schedule she had set for herself. Tina added extra pressure on herself to finish the film by Thursday - which was tomorrow. Still, even with all the delays, Tina knew she could still finish the final edit and submit the film to the studio by tomorrow so long as no more delays happened.

Always the planner, Tina prepared extra hours in the schedule in the case of unforeseen delays. Tina was forcing herself to finish this film by Thursday so she could take time off to coincide with Alex's week-long vacation starting this Friday. She could not wait to devote all of her attention solely on Alex. Tina also planned to host a dinner party for the Ghostwriter team, most of whom RSVPed to the email she had sent last week. She was excited about the dinner party, but she now wondered if she should not have planned this dinner party on a later date during her and Alex's vacation considering this only added a task that she had to complete only one day after her film deadline. Sitting here, in the dark, looking at a bright computer screen, and furiously writing notes in her binder that she could hardly see, and looking at her "To Do" list for both the film and the party, she felt she had unintentionally set up a situation where she ran herself ragged.

Tina pushed her mind to focus on the scene in front of her. Watching the scene for must have been the thousandth time; this time, Tina devoted more time into looking at the small details of the footage. Allowing herself to admire her work for just a bit, Tina decided that she loved how she captured Andromeda's hair flying in the wind while the Hudson River flowed behind her. The camera also caught people rowing canoes and tour boats passing by adding more energy and color to the scene. Not that Andromeda needed more energy. Andromeda's body movements and gestures were incredibly animated as she spoke. Tina was happy that she had decided on the spot to shoot Andromeda from a wide angle showing her entire body and then progressively closed in on Andromeda's face thus becoming a close-up shot as the intensity and emotion of Andromeda's recollection of her story increasingly highlighted the pain in her eyes as she relived some of the trauma and violence she faced. Tina wished she could keep her interview with Andromeda whole and uninterrupted, but she knew the emotional impact of the film would be fully realized if Andromeda's interview was intercut throughout the film.

Since it was 5:30 am, the sun would not rise for another thirty minutes or so. Tina originally planned to work in the dark and allow the sun to naturally light up Alex's apartment to give her some illumination to work in. She did not want to turn on any lights as Alex did not get home until past midnight last night and needed his sleep. He committed himself to working overtime in his last remaining days before his vacation. She knew Alex needed to either close out his hanging cases that needed to be finalized or needed to devote hours to writing meticulous notes on his dozens of other files in case other detectives needed to review or cover them. However, because Tina was working in the dark, her eyes were getting blurrier as she faced the computer screen's harsh bright display. Tina decided to stop staring into the computer screen and paused the scene. She then wrote into her binder details of the shot and the time stamps of the scene of where she felt it should be cut, helping her organize how she would splice them into her documentary.

After finishing her notes, Tina looked around the apartment. Alex and Rob had somewhat cleaned it up the week before, and thinking about them working together to unpack the insurmountable number of boxes and then putting all the furniture together made Tina giggle. She did not even know that Alex and Rob hung out on their own. She made a mental note to prepare extra tofu for Rob, so that he could take some food home after their dinner party as a sign of gratitude. 

Feeling a numbness on her backside from sitting on the barstool Alex "borrowed" from the Bodega, Tina felt compelled to get up from her seat. She mindlessly walked towards the living room. Although it was still dark outside, she could make out the room in front of her through the street lighting coming through the windows of the apartment. She also a pretty good image of what the living room looked like from memory. Still not wanting to turn on the lights for Alex's sake, Tina listened to Alex's quiet snores coming from his bedroom room. Through the years, Tina's ears naturally adapted Alex's snoring into some sort of lullaby to help lure her to sleep.

When Tina first slept over at Alex's apartment the last week, she had been impressed with how Alex was able to create as much space as possible with all the items he needed to unpack. However, now that she had slept over for a few days, she noticed that the living room was more cramped than she first thought. Alex owned a ton of books, mostly comprising of mystery novels, true crime books, and sociology and criminology textbooks. Four bookshelves were already full and a few stacks of books simply laid on the floor nearby.

Eyeing the bookshelves, Tina made her way towards his books, and the she slid her fingers across the book spines, enjoying the texture she was feeling. It was calming for a reason Tina could not articulate. As she slid her fingers down another row of books, she caught sight of her Spanish-English dictionary and her _Barron's 501 Spanish Verbs_ book that were shelved in-between the various Spanish-English workbooks Tina had used throughout the years. Inspired by her relationships with Alex, Gaby, and Hector, Tina committed to learning Spanish about ten years ago. Although she now spoke enough to have full conversations with Spanish-speakers, she still felt deficient with regard to her Spanish-speaking abilities. Seeing these books was a reminder that she had vowed to do the work to become more proficient.

However, her current Spanish-speaking abilities proved to sufficient to speak to the many transgender individuals who were subjects in her documentary. Many of them were Latin-American asylum seekers who had been trafficked into the U.S. Many of them were sex trafficking victims or were involved in abusive relationships that they could not get out of due to their undocumented status preventing them from seeking help from law enforcement. Although life was tough for them in NYC where they were subject to harassment and abuse by either their partners or by law enforcement, they still did not want to go back to their home countries because doing so would put them in the very real situation of being murdered. Through her experience with this film, Tina learned to understand just how important it was to able to communicate with her subjects. Just her being able to speak conversational Spanish helped make her Spanish-speaking subjects feel safe around her thus making them comfortable and more willing to fully open up. Tina still wished that her Spanish-speaking abilities were better to more fully communicate with them in the way she truly wanted, and this experience made her understand her father and Alex's father's, Eduardo Fernandez, frustrations with trying to communicate effectively in English.

Thinking about the efforts Tina put into learning Spanish, she started thinking about how nobody else on the Ghostwriter team showed any interest in learning Vietnamese. Namely, she wished Alex had taken more interest in learning Vietnamese. To be fair, Alex did know some words or phrases. In fact, their pet names for each other were Vietnamese terms of endearments. She understood that the Vietnamese language itself intimidated him, and that he was self-conscious with regard to his pronunciation. Therefore, despite her disappointment in her boyfriend's lack of enthusiasm to learn Vietnamese, she never pressured him to learn nor make it known how she actually felt about it. A part of her felt it was also unfair as just because she made the effort to learn his language did not mean she was entitled to some sort of reciprocation.

Wanting to forget about the whole learning a third language issue, she decided to turn towards what she dubbed "the gym corner". The gym corner consisted of a treadmill that Alex set up near the fire escape. Next to the treadmill were a few dumbbells and some sporting equipment: a basketball; a baseball bat that leaned against the wall that had a Yankees cap on its handle nearby, a baseball glove, some boxing mitts, and a jump rope. Tina placed the pink rolled up yoga mat that she brought along two nights ago. She also placed her Lana Barnes brand stretch bands in the gym corner.

Upon seeing the Yankees cap, Tina noticed in a glass case, the Derek Jeter-signed baseball Alex had gotten signed after a Yankees game. Hanging up on the wall in the gym corner was the Derek Jeter-signed Yankees jersey Tina had bought for Alex for his birthday a few years ago. Tina laughed to herself as she wondered what comment Mets-fan Lenni would make upon seeing those items at the dinner part on Friday. 

Tina's favorite baseball memory only happened two years ago, right when she and Alex had just gotten back together after their last break up. Alex scored tickets to Game 2 of the 2003 World Series thanks to one of victims of an art piece theft that Alex had solved gifting it to him as a "thank you" for his work. Thinking about how Alex scored those tickets, she remembered wishing that she and the rest of the Ghostwriter team was with Alex as he and his partner, Daniel O'Leary, solved that case. She could not help but resent not knowing the full details of all the cases Alex worked on. The more Alex kept from her regarding his cases, the more Tina was reminded that her mystery and crime-solving days were over, and it had been years since she had been out-of-commission. _Would the team ever have another mystery to solve together again?_ Tina wondered. Then she remembered…there was no Ghostwriter any more.

Going back to her memory, she remembered the feeling of euphoria as not only did the Yankees win that game (although they eventually lost the entire series), but she and Alex were caught on the "Kiss Cam" where he laid a big one on her. Tina was usually embarrassed by such public displays of affection that Alex reveled in, but she did not mind it this time as it seemed to be a grand occasion. She also loved hearing some bros in full Yankees gear cursing up a storm behind her. A security guard ended up telling them to "keep it clean, we're not in Shea Stadium". One of the Yankees bros replied with, "I wouldn't know, I've never been to Shea Stadium."

Tina then went back to Alex's crime solving life. Tina admitted to herself that a big part of her felt like she was missing out by not solving crimes with Alex. She would give anything to just have one more case with Ghostwriter and the team. There was no better feeling than working hard to solve a mystery and then actually solving it. Tina held out hope that Ghostwriter would return, and when he did, they could go back to solving some mysteries in-between all the adult life work and obligations they had to complete. Speaking of Ghostwriter...

Tina never told the rest of the team that she wrote in diaries every night ever since she was in elementary school. Once she met Ghostwriter, she allowed him to read all of her entries. This helped create a deep personal bond between them. However, she did keep a separate, even more secret diary that Ghostwriter did not read.

In that diary, she wrote about the deep feelings she felt for Alex. She used this diary until they officially became a couple in her freshman year of high school. It was not that she did not trust Ghostwriter, but, at the time, she did not want anyone to know about how she felt about a guy who probably outgrew her and did not see her as any sort of romantic interest. A guy she was good friends with. A guy that all her friends were also good friends with, including Ghostwriter. Fortunately, she had been wrong about Alex not feeling the same way about her or the fact that he "outgrew" her and was no longer interested in her romantically. She found that out when they got together during the Homecoming dance. It was one of the happiest memories her life even if she did end up hurting her Homecoming date, Victor Torres.

That night after Homecoming, she wrote to Ghostwriter in her diary about her and Alex's wonderful time together. She then allowed him to read all of her entries in her "Alex" diary just so he would have the full picture of how she felt about Alex and what she had been feeling all those years. The good and the bad. Tina remembered Ghostwriter's reaction.

At first he seemed apprehensive because he felt she and Alex were "only children". When Tina reminded him of how old they were, Ghostwriter expressed that he would some times forget how old they were getting. He still thought of them as the children he had met years before. She did not know if he was happy or sad about the fact that members of the team were growing up while he was not. It was hard to tell with Ghostwrite as he was often cryptic about how he felt.

In response to the news, Ghostwriter wrote "Once you find love, cherish it. Hold on to it forever. Love is the most valuable thing one person could give another. Love was sharing and trusting a piece of your soul to another. Love is two people coming together, growing together, learning together, and becoming one." He also told Tina that he knew she and Alex would always be bounded by their love because he had felt it from both of them. Tina wondered why Ghostwriter did not just tell each of them how the other felt, but Ghostwriter said feelings some times were not enough and the responsibility for love is on the people who feel it, not on outsiders. That seemed fair to Tina.

Remembering this made Tina wonder about what Ghostwriter would think about her and Alex now. What would he think about them? About how their relationship had progressed. All the times they had broken up. Now, with how increasingly desperate they were to be together despite their hectic schedules. Would Ghostwriter relate and understand?

Tina then wondered if Ghostwriter had ever been in love in the past. If he had, then what did she look like? Assuming it was a woman. It must have hurt him not to remember anything from his past. She then wondered what Ghostwriter looked like in the past. How did those other children he referenced look like? Tina then wondered if Ghostwriter fully understood how she and Alex and the rest of the team looked like. He could not see, but he could read how they described themselves. But did he have any points of references from his past to allow him to understand their descriptions? Even if he had, it may not have mattered since Ghostwriter did not remember much of any thing.

How helpful was it to Ghostwriter when she told him she was of Vietnamese-descent? Did he even know what a Vietnamese person was? Vietnam as we all now know it probably did not exist in Ghostwriter's time. The team did not know how old he exactly was but they knew he did not even know who Mickey Mouse was and Mickey Mouse was created in 1928. Did Ghostwriter ever see Vietnamese people? Asian people? She and Ghostwriter had lengthy conversations about Vietnamese culture and history, including the war and how her family came to the United States as refugees, more commonly known as "boat people". Her parents and older brother Tuan were literally fresh off the boat when they came to the United States. She even explained to Ghostwriter how far Vietnam was from the United States and explained that most people would say Vietnamese people looked like Chinese people. Tina was not sure if that helped Ghostwriter at all, but he at least seemed very interested and eager to learn more about Vietnam. Tina even started teaching Ghostwriter Vietnamese.

Additionally, Tina wondered if Ghostwriter knew what Latin Americans looked like. How did he see Alex and Gaby? She wondered if he knew Jamal and Casey were black. She never saw them describe themselves to him, but she was sure they must have. She wondered what Ghostwriter's views on black people were since he predated the 1920s. A part of her did not want to know the answer to that one in case it was not good. She wondered if he had any opinions about Lenni having a Jewish father and the fact that they observed some Jewish traditions. Tina knew of the historical violence and oppression targeting those of the Jewish faith. Again, a part of her rather not know the answer to that one in case it was something bad.

However, Tina knew those suppositions above were just a result of her over-analyzing and overthinking the situation. She knew deep down that Ghostwriter would not even care about any of that. Tina knew that Ghostwriter as she knew him loved all of them fully. She never doubted that even after he left. Tina felt Ghostwriter as he was today was the purest of all people. She never saw Ghostwriter as anything but a person. He was kind, happy, and totally ordinary despite his ghostly form. Even if he was from an era long gone, Ghostwriter seemed to fit in as a person living in their era. Just from his continued interaction and love for them, it was clear he refused to judge anyone based on their race, sex, origin, or religion. Had he been around when Hector came out of the closet, he probably would not judge Hector for being gay as well. Thinking about Andromeda and her film, Tina felt Ghostwriter would not judge anyone based on their gender identity and expression either.

Waking up from her thoughts, Tina thought about that past Monday night when Alex came to her door with a fresh bruise upon his cheek and reddened, swollen knuckles. He had practically begged her to come home with him. She felt a strong longing and need to be with him that night just as she knew he needed to be with her that night. It was just now that the moment was over, Tina wondered about why Alex came to her bruised and swollen.

Alex had told Tina that it was a result of a scuffle with a man resisting arrest at the precinct. She knew Alex had lied about that. There was no way Alex's knuckles would have been that swollen if he was simply trying to detain a resisting arrestee. She knew Alex and he would not have been punching an arrestee that aggressively. She knew how Alex dealt with suspects, even the worst ones he dealt with that were involved with violent crimes against vulnerable and helpless victims. He was tough and fair but also empathetic. She also knew he was professional above all else. She also knew Alex. Alex would never attack someone like that. What was different this time around?

Tina knew Alex must have been in some sort of a fistfight with someone who could fight back and who must have pushed him to the breaking point. It must have been something past what Alex could tolerate as Alex's tolerance level was high with regard to this sort of violence. But what was it? Tina played all sorts of scenarios in her head to figure out what would lead Alex to attack someone like that. Nothing made sense to her. He may have a temper at times and could lose his cool, but he was not violent nor would he maliciously attack someone, even the worst suspects. Alex did not have that in him. If he had, Tina would have never been friends with him, much less date him.

 _What could it have been?_ Tina wondered. Tina knew Alex hid so much from her when it came to his work. She tried to understand why he would feel the need to hide so much given the dangerous nature of his position, but she had wished he did not hide so much. In fact, his past nondisclosures were a major point of contention that led to their last break up over two years ago. When Alex told her that same Monday night that he was being transferred to the Major Case Squad, Tina knew Alex downplayed how much more dangerous the cases would be from the ones he had been dealing with thus far, which were already incredibly dangerous. Tina wanted to talk about this with Alex later. Hopefully the vacation will allow them some time to talk things over.

Despite Tina's head running a million miles a minute, she felt herself yawn. Maybe she would continue her editing later today. She still had to do the grocery shopping for the dinner party, so it would have to be done after she got back. She resigned herself to the fact that she would lose some valuable time by stopping now, but she figured she had the rest of the day and night to finish editing Andromeda's scene into the film, finalize the sequence of scenes, finish the title cards, and then add the music cues to the film. Then, if time would allow it, she could add any last minute touches. The devil was always in the details.

Deciding to go ahead and go back to bed, Tina made her way towards Alex's bedroom. She ended up standing by Alex's side of the bed watching him sleep and taking in the adorable image before her. Alex was lying sideways, facing her side of the bed. As usual, Alex was shirtless and dressed only in his boxer shorts when he slept. He was spooning the body-sized pillow that Tina had placed in Alex's arms when she initially woke up to work on her film. She did it to replace her body as Alex was originally big-spooning her, a position she knew was his favorite sleeping position, at least when she was in bed with him. Throughout the years, Tina learned how to sneak away from Alex's grasp. She would start by tickling parts of his body until he shifted, thus leaving her an opening to quickly slide away and replace herself with a body pillow. It was very _Indiana Jones_ replacing the statue on the podium-esque.

Tina caught sight of the darkened bruise on Alex's sharp cheek. Even in the dark, Tina could make out how there was a darkened circle surrounded by Alex's lighter skin. Tina traced Alex's cheekbone, then slid her finger along his sharp jawline. Tina always thought Alex could cut ice with that jawline. It only made him more attractive and irresistible to Tina.

Observing just how attractive Alex was, Tina was reminded of her own insecurities. She knew it was silly, but she would still wonder what had compelled Alex to want to be with her so badly throughout their whole history. She hated it when women felt unworthy of their men as it was always a product of women undervaluing themselves in comparison to how they valued men and how men valued themselves and women. However, in her particular case, she could not help but wonder, _what was it?_ Alex was the one who went after her when they were children. He initiated their first kiss, although Tina did remember she moved forward for that kiss as well. She simply allowed Alex to think he solely initiated it because she suspected it innocently fed his ego. He then initiated their first relationship on the night of the Homecoming dance. He had been the one to go after her to continue the relationship the last two times they broke up; and she always simply fell back under his spell.

It was not that Tina felt that she was "out-of-his-league" or anything like that. She just did not know why he went after her so hard, not once, but four times in their thirteen year history. That sort of devotion from another person makes one evaluate themselves. It was not that Tina felt herself unattractive or even unworthy, but she also felt it did not have to be _her_ that Alex _needed_ to be devoted to. He could have easily called it quits any of the times they broke up and found anyone else to give them the same level of devotion. She thought there were so many more women who could have matched with Alex more appropriately and would have been just as worthy for his devotion. The truth was, Alex's sheer love and devotion towards her some times scared Tina. It made her think she would have to be someone who was worthy of being the object of such affection because she could not figure it out.

Some times, Tina would go through reasons why Alex was more of a catch than her. A part of it was physical, with her chubbier face, her much shorter height, and her look that always made her think she looked like a little girl compared to him, who unquestionably looked like a mature young adult man. The other part of it was her personality. Alex had this natural animal magnetism, charm, and charisma. She grew up seeing so many girls having crushes on him and always eying him. If they were in an anime, Alex would be a Senpai that had his own devoted fan club.

Tina, meanwhile, knew she was not charismatic or open. She was insular and introverted. Unlike Alex, who would command and even demand attention and his share of the space, Tina was more easily passed her over. Even when she worked on group projects, like the school newspaper, the more extroverted or dominating personalities would talk over her and overtake the space. Tina was no pushover and she was not forgettable, but she still felt like she had to fight for more space and attention than others, which took a lot out of her. The way she would be treated by more aggressive personalities would frustrate her, and it would make her natural impatience worse. This resulted in her at times lashing out and responding in a much blunter and curt way than she intended. She knew this gave her a reputation of being rude at times.

Further frustrating their relationships was the fact that their love languages were so different. Tina preferred to just be present for her partner and do tasks that needed to be done to ensure her partner could live his best life. Essentially, she thought the best way to show love was to spend quality time with her partner and to perform acts of service. Alex meanwhile was all about physical touch and expressing his love verbally.

Alex always wanted to hold Tina's hand, to hug her, to kiss her, and to make love. Boy did he want to make love. Often.

It was not that Tina lacked passion, far from it. She also wanted to touch him, hold him, kiss him, and make love to him too. She truly enjoyed being with Alex in such an intimate way. Together, they discovered just how essential to life sex and actual lovemaking was, at least for them. Tina found sex with Alex to be absolutely beyond words, almost an out-of-body experience. That was an opinion she knew he also shared with her. Both desired it often because during sex, they would enter into some otherworldly consciousness, as if they entered this state of an absolute emotional and romantic connection - this incredible state of intimacy and bodily gratification. It was as if they lost themselves to it that some times after they finished, they would not even remember what they had just done. When their animalistic instincts kicked in, it provided Tina something she did not know could exist in life until she experienced that with Alex. It was like another vital sense was awakened and one she could not live without. It was like she developed another kind of hunger that she needed to satiate or die. Since they were each other's first times, Tina only later came to realize how different and less satisfying it was when it was with someone else. However, some times Tina worried that Alex's hunger for it matched his appetite and could cross the boundaries into indulgence.

The real issue was that he always wanted to show his affection physically, through touch and kissing, even in inappropriate times. Tina felt that displays of affection should mostly be private between the two of them. Alex did not seem to share the same sense of decorum that she did, nor did he feel the need to just keep these expressions of affection between them. Instead he seemed to want to share their affection with the rest of the world. Tina always felt a sense of guilt for being more hesitant to publicly display her affection towards him. She also felt Alex put her in a position where she could not help but come off as some sex-adverse prude when she would instinctively shy away from his public embraces of affection. Of course, she could never tell him that because how can you demand that someone show you less love? Doing so seemed hurtful to Tina.

Alex was also big on words. He loved talking about how much he loved her, that he loved her, and that he appreciated her. Tina felt the same way but she did not feel the need to say it so often. It all seemed a bit much to her because the love you have with your partner should just be understood. A part of her judged other couples that seemed to do that to the point of overkill because, to her, it seemed desperate. Like why are they trying to convince each other all of the time? This in turn made Tina wonder why Alex always put on such a display…was he putting on an effort to convince himself too?

Surely, a woman who spoke the same love languages would have been a much more satisfying partner for him than what she provided. Tina also knew another woman, who, although career-oriented, may have had a lifestyle that would allow her to be more flexible with Alex's time. Not to mention, another woman would probably be much more charismatic and magnetic for him. And sexier. One that had a more cheerful and less at times serious disposition would make Alex feel much more appreciated. One that would probably better reciprocate what Alex was giving. Another woman, like his ex-girlfriend, Marisol.

So out of all of that, Tina simply wondered what made her so appealing to Alex to want to be with her four times in thirteen years? Despite them dating on-and-off for so long, Tina and Alex never discussed what was it about each other that they loved. They just felt they had to be together. Although that should have provided some security, in a way, it provided less because having their bond be due to some unexplainable feeling did not provide solid ground or answers for Tina to finUltimately, Tina never figured out why Alex wanted her so badly. It was not that Tina doubted Alex loved her or that she loved him. Tina knew they deeply loved each other on such a level she could not express in words. But she just wondered if someone else would have been easier for Alex to love. Tina knew overthinking their relationship in this way made no sense and that it was a ridiculous display of insecurity bordering on self-centeredness, but she could not help but wonder all of the same.

A yawn came out of her again as Tina looked out of their bedroom windows and saw the beginnings of the sunrise shine through the cracks of the curtain. She saw the sky was progressively becoming bluer. Tina wished she could film a shot like that one day in one of her many dream scripts she wrote in her head. Tina climbed onto her side of the bed and carefully removed the body pillow Alex was clutching. Alex barely stirred as she did that keeping his sideways sleeping position facing her. She sat up and caught sight of Alex's bruised cheek again. Thinking about the pain Alex endured compelled Tina to kiss his bruised spot. Alex then instinctively clutched onto her, pulling her down to bed. She then fell comfortably back into sleep fully enjoying the security Alex's whole body provided as he squeezed her with his arms, wrapped his legs over her body, and pressed his chin on top of her head.

* * *

Tina woke up feeling the bright rays of the sunshine on her face. She turned to look at that ridiculous alarm clock Gaby had purchased for Alex. She saw that it read "11:30 am, Wednesday, September 21, 2005."

"Crap!" Tina exclaimed. She slept in! Tina turned and found Alex missing from his side of the bed. Instead, she saw a handwritten note.

_Em,_

_Sorry for not waking you. I know I should have, but you looked so peaceful and beautiful like Sleeping Beauty. I know you wanted to be up to work your film, but you've been missing a lot of sleep lately. I think you should enjoy some sleep. I made breakfast for you. It's just some fruit with yogurt and granola. Sorry it isn't eggs and bacon or anything, but I didn't know when you'd be awake. Call me later._

_Love you,_

_Alex_

Tina smiled. That sounded like the perfect breakfast for her, although now, it was more like lunch. _He must have cut up the fruit himself since we don't have any pre-cut,_ Tina thought.

Tina opened the refrigerator and saw a professional-looking fruit and yogurt parfait. She admired how nicely layered it was inside the large glass cup. She then saw that Alex cut the various fruit into nice slices or pieces. She noticed that there was another bowl filled with extra fruit for her to enjoy. She wondered how long it took Alex to make this. She then felt bad she didn't wake up with him to make him his usual smoothie and lunch.

After Tina enjoyed a portion of Alex's parfait, she did her usual routine of toning her face, putting on a facemask, then toning again before moisturizing her face and neck (don't forget the neck!). Tina realized she only had one face mask left and was seriously running low on moisturizer and toner. Tina made a mental note to buy more tomorrow if she finished and submitted her film on time.

Tina gently applied her make up. Most days, she did not bother putting any on, but for some reason, she felt like doing it today. Before she started, she realized Alex might have been right about her not getting proper sleep. To her horror, her eyes were looking a blood shot. She quickly grabbed Alex's Visine and added a few droplets to her eyes before starting her make up routine. Tina always preferred going for a much more natural look, though she did use her brush to lightly contour under her cheekbones as her chubbier cheeks was something Tina wished to minimize.

After finishing her make up, Tina thought about the editing she still had left to do plus all the shopping that she wanted to get done ahead of time, so she would not have to shop tomorrow with her self-imposed due date or the day of the party, which should only be committed to cooking and re-arranging the furniture to accommodate all of the guests. Tina knew she needed to hurry.

However, she caught a glimpse at her hair. Usually, Tina would have been more than fine to just let her naturally and stubbornly straight hair flow or would have tied it up simply but quickly. However, why not give it some loose waves today? For some reason, she brought her curling iron when she came with Alex on Monday night. She tied up her hair then started curling. Once Tina used the curler on her hair, she realized that forgot to bring her heat protectant…oops. She used the curling iron to grab her hairs in the front and curled them away from her face. For the back, Tina decided to experiment by alternating directions of the curls. As Tina was curling her hair, she wondered if she should get her hair trimmed as it was down to her lower back now.

After finishing, Tina finally admitted that she was simply procrastinating from starting her errands so she could subsequently work on her film. She quickly finished with the curling iron and unplugged it. Once the iron cooled, she decided to put it in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. There, she saw the tampons she placed when Alex first moved in. It sat among all of Alex's Men's toiletries that laid about under there. Growing up in her parents' apartment, Tina got into the habit of hiding her tampons because her mom disapproved of her using tampons instead of pads. Now that Alex had his own space, she felt it was the best place to "hide" them now. Noticing the way Alex laid out his toiletries, she thought that for someone who was so into grooming, Alex was not organized with his grooming items, colognes, and deodorant. Resisting the urge to reorganize the whole thing, she simply closed the cabinet doors.

Tina looked out the window and saw a breeze. She decided to go with a tank top, a thin long-sleeved outer layer, and tight, low-rider jeans that made her butt and legs look good. She would do all of her shopping first, then go back home and edit as much as she could today. Right before she left the apartment, she decided to give Alex a call.

"Hello?" Alex answered.

"Hey, _Anh_."

"Hey, _Em_! How's everything at the apartment? Did you just wake up?"

"No, I woke up like two hours ago. I just wanted to thank you for the parfait you made. It was yummy."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Tina could hear Alex's self-satisfied tone over the phone, causing her to picture him with the satisfied grin she had since she first met him. Tina let out a little laugh.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked.

"Oh, nothing…just something funny I remembered."

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

"Come on, tell me…"

"Really, it was just something about the movie."

"Man, that movie is really on your mind huh? Thinking about it while talking to me," Alex said jokingly.

"Yeah…" Tina said trailing off. "So anyway, I was going to go shopping before the party on Friday. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Just get what you think we need. Do you need some money?"

"No! Why would you think I need money?" Tina said harsher than she intended.

"Hey, I'm just asking," Alex said somewhat defensively. "I figured I should contribute since we're both hosting it."

"Oh…" Tina responded, feeling bad about her tone. "It's ok. I have it handled."

"Ok."

There was a beat or two of silence before Alex continued, "Where are you going shopping?"

"I thought I'd head to Chinatown to get the seafood I need. Might as well pick up everything else there too, like all the vegetables and meat and stuff."

"Are you sure you can do that by yourself? That's a lot of stuff."

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a big deal."

"How long is your list?"

Tina reviewed the grocery list she drafted. It had been longer than she remembered. Undeterred, Tina said, "It is pretty long, but nothing I can't handle."

"I told you that menu you planned was huge."

"I'm fine, _Anh!_ "

"Ok, sorry, I was just wondering. Manhattan is a bit of a trek, and you have to carry all of that on the train. You should just take a cab."

"No way! Those cabs overcharge and the train will only take like 15 minutes. Don't worry, I have it under control. I'll be bringing the shopping cart with me."

"When did we get a shopping cart?" Alex asked.

"I picked up a used one yesterday at a stall. It was after you came by during your lunch break to help me move my computer and camera and stuff to your apartment," Tina answered.

"Alright…" Alex said apprehensively. "If you need help or anything, just call me."

"I won't need to, _Anh_."

"Just promise me that if you need help, you'll call me."

"Ok, I will." Tina answered. "Oh, what time are you coming home tonight? I could make dinner, whatever you'd like," Tina said.

"Tina, you could just make whatever you like," Alex responded. "But…I'm going to have to stay here for another long night. There are many more files I need to finish cleaning up before my vacation and to prepare for my transfer. You should just get whatever you want and not wait up for me. I probably won't be home till past midnight just like last night."

Tina was disappointed. "Ok, no problem," Tina finally said.

"Just think of it, after tomorrow, we'll have a whole week to ourselves!" Alex exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Tina answered trying to match Alex's excitement even though she was getting more worried about whether she would finish editing her film on time.

* * *

After saying their "I love yous", Tina finally made her way out of the apartment. The day was hot and humid. Tina walked along the sidewalk with the hoards of people enjoying her view of Prospect Heights. She had been so busy working on her film and going to and from the studio that she had not had the chance to take stock of Alex's neighborhood. There was a diverse array of stores and stands around. It was not unlike Fort Greene actually.

As Tina walked towards the B train, she heard a voice call out to her. She turned and saw a familiar face.

"Momo!" Tina yelled.

"Sup Tina! I thought I saw you," said Momo. 

"On your way to work?"

"You know it," he answered. "Chef Tomlinson will chew me out if I'm late for prep for tonight's dinner service."

"What are you doing here? I thought you lived in Harlem now to be closer to the restaurant?"

"I do live in Harlem, but I was visiting my moms. She needed some help putting together a new bedside cabinet she bought."

"Wait a minute, last time Alex and I spoke with you, you mentioned you were auditioning for some competition?"

"Yeah, it's a new reality show called _Head Chef_. I got a call-back, but there's another round of auditions. Man, I should get in. You should have seen some the chumps I was auditioning against; can't even boil water."

Tina could not help but laugh. Momo matured quite a bit, but she guessed one could not totally get rid of one's cocky nature. However, Tina knew from experience that Momo backed up that cockiness with a real skill and talent for cooking. _It must serve him well in the highly competitive and fast-paced world of the NYC culinary industry_ , Tina thought. "Well, I wish you all the luck, Momo! I know you can kick some butt there."

"Thanks," Momo said smiling. "It'd be nice to compete and show everyone what I can do with just these hands. Next time you and Alex are in Harlem, stop by the restaurant, I'll serve you guys some things _off menu_."

"We definitely will! Thanks Momo," Tina said.

They continued their conversation as they headed to the same subway station before splitting up since Momo was taking the 4/5 train and Tina was taking the B. From that conversation, Tina learned that life as a _sous chef_ was not easy. They usually worked twelve-hour heavily laborious shifts six days a week. Tina could not imagine that sort of schedule no matter how many all-nighters she had to pull. She then remembered the worst hours Alex ever worked, including a 36-hour shift on a particularly trying investigation. She realized she had it easy compared to them, and yet she could not finish her film on the time she had set for herself. This dampened her mood.

After a thirteen-minute train ride, Tina exited out of Grand Street Station. After making sure she was facing the right direction, she walked towards Hong Kong Supermarket on Hester St. by way of Elizabeth St. _The streets were always so narrow here_ , Tina thought. The streets of Chinatown were always full of locals of mostly Asian-descent rushing around the tourists of all extractions, who waddled slowly or even stopped dead in their tracks, causing a back up of pedestrians trying to figure out a way around them. Tina walked through the sea of dark-haired Asian people to get to her destination.

As usual, Chinatown was poppin' and it took real agility to wade in-between all the bodies. As she was walking, Tina tried to unclasp her jumbo-sized double basket shopping cart causing some elderly Chinese ladies to rush past her while mostly likely cursing at her for blocking the sidewalk and moving at a slow pace. Another set of Chinese women approached her with an unfolded menu of "designer" purses. Tina waved them away- annoyed. She may not have been Chinese, but she clearly was not a tourist with this unwieldy shopping cart.

Once Tina managed to unfold the basket, she confidently strode her way down Elizabeth Street. Tina took in the strong, pungent smells from the various food stalls ranging from fruit and produce to live seafood and meat and herbs. As she walked, Tina attempted to avoid being in the way of some tourists taking pictures, but she feared she might have interrupted a few photo-ops.

Despite that, Tina enjoyed the scenery of Asian people (mostly Chinese) going about their business, smoking cigarettes in their kitchen uniforms outside the kitchen doors, and younger Chinese locals seemingly living their burden-free lives, or so Tina thought. As she passed by one of those weird computer shops that only fixed PCs, she then heard a woman screaming some serious profanity in Vietnamese, something that included the Vietnamese version of "Motherfucker!" Hearing that filled Tina's heart and made her feel at home.

As she reached Hester Street, where she was supposed to make a left turn, Tina felt a strong craving noodles. She decided that she could probably eat something before doing her grocery shopping and heading back to Brooklyn. It took her some time to refold her shopping cart. After she finally folded it, Tina continued walking down Elizabeth until she hit Bayard. She then took a sharp left, avoiding more tourists and elderly Chinese people until she hit Bowery. Before she made a right at Bowery, she saw Vivi's Bubble Tea shop. _Well, when you're in Chinatown, you HAVE to get some bubble tea!_ , Tina figured. Tina waited in the semi-long line to order her small iced milk tea with boba.

Tea-in-hand, Tina finally took that right on Bowery. She had originally planned to go to Great NY Noodletown right on that corner, but she realized, she was close enough to her favorite Chinatown noodle spot (outside of pho, of course), Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles. Wanting to eat there instead, Tina bypassed Great NY Noodletown, and walked through the much slower and much more congested foot traffic on Bowery as people rubbernecked all around. It was as if they never saw yellow people or Chinese characters on storefronts before. Tina listened to the soundtrack of stall vendors vying for people's attention by yelling special deals for their goods. She saw a 10-year-old-boy speaking German to his mother as he showed her the classic NYC "Fuck You, You Fuckin' Fuck" t-shirt. _I guess German schools weren't in session yet_ , Tina deducted.

As Tina passed by Pell Street with all the salons, she thought about getting that trim anyway before deciding against it. Instead, she took the camera that was strapped on her shoulder in a diagonal fashion to take a picture of the incredibly long line of tourists waiting to eat at Joe's Shanghai. Looking at camera, Tina thought, _Maybe this is why those women thought I was a tourist_. The line at Joe's Shanghai never let up, and Tina never knew why. She understood soup dumplings were delicious, but so many places sold soup dumplings in Chinatown.

Tina finally hit Doyers Street where Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles was located. Tina remembered her cousin Nadine once telling her that the curve of Doyers right at Nom Wah Tea Parlor was where rival Chinatown gangsters would hide and attack each other. Speaking of Nom Wah Tea Parlor, Tina wondered if she was craving dim sum instead. She decided to ignore that craving and stick with the hand pulled noodles, especially as she saw a line for Nom Wah Tea Parlor. That line, Tina understood.

As Tina entered Doyers, she started to reminisce about all the times she went here with Alex. When they were in the neighborhood, which was pretty often, Alex would some times get a $4 hair cut from one of those Chinese barber shops where some old Chinese men, possibly Triad, would play Mah Jong in the back. It was notable because Alex would get a shampoo right on the barber chair, and he'd then be escorted to the back sink where he'd have to bend over to rinse off the suds. It was far from dignified and possibly unhygienic. Tina was always entertained by Alex's selective bougieness. The heat and humidity started to make Tina feel dizzy and realized she needed to quickly eat something.

Tina entered Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles and was given a seat. She quickly ordered the hand-pulled noodles with pork dumplings in broth. Tina sat at her table observing all the workers in the back craftily pulling the noodles by painstakingly pulling the fresh noodles and rolling them up. _They must do it non-stop_ , Tina thought given the volume of noodles served. Once served, she took her time to smell the aroma of her large bowl. She admired the pork dumplings laid with the bok choy and spinach. She added red chili sauce and the Chinese vinegar from the yellow bottle and enjoyed.

After slurping the last remnants of her broth, Tina felt fully satisfied although she ended up drinking three glasses of water. There must have been some extra MSG in this batch. No longer able to hold off on her errands for much longer, Tina finally made her way back to Hong Kong Supermarket.

This time, Tina decided not to unfold her shopping cart until she made it inside the market, which is what she should have done in the first place. Tina got her list out that read:

 _Chinese sausage  
_ _Sliced bamboo shoots  
_ _Young corn  
_ _Noodles  
_ _Rice  
_ _Mushrooms  
_ _Carrots  
_ _Cucumber  
_ _Cilantro  
_ _Basil  
_ _Corn Starch  
_ _Chicken Stock  
_ _Eggs  
_ _Quail Eggs  
_ _Broccoli  
_ _Red Onion  
_ _Yellow beans  
_ _Sprouts  
_ _Shrimp  
_ _Squid  
_ _Scallop  
_ _Fish Ball  
_ _Imitation Crab Meat  
_ _Pork  
_ _Rice Paper  
_ _Spring Roll wraps  
_ _Vermicelli  
_ _Romaine Lettuce  
_ _Scallion  
_ _Three packets of Tofu  
_ _Fish Sauce  
_ _Coconut Soda  
_ _Garlic  
_ _Soy Sauce  
_ _Chilies  
_ _Lime  
_ _Sugar  
_ _Salt  
_ _Rice Vinegar  
_ _Chili Garlic Sauce  
_ _Sriracha  
_ _Two Big Containers of Oil  
_ _Peanuts  
_ _Juice_

As Tina did not want Rob to only have one dish to eat while the others were able to enjoy a variety of dishes between the _cha gio_ (spring rolls); _mi xao don_ (deep fried egg noodles in a bird's nest); _bun cha gio_ (vermicelli bowl served with spring rolls and protein); and _goi cuon_ (summer rolls), she decided to double the menu and provide both meat and vegan options of each dish. She was confident that she could do it.

Tina later found that the shopping would take a lot longer than she had anticipated. The deli line was never-ending with only two butchers working at a time. They also ran out of the cuts of pork she needed, so she had to wait until they butchered the right sized pieces for her. Tina filled her baskets while she waited for her pork. It did not take long for Tina to realize that this jumbo-sized double basket was starting to fill up to capacity. When Tina grabbed her seafood items, the strong fishy smell reminded Tina that riding the train back may not be the best idea. However, Tina was resolute in refusing to pay for an overpriced cab ride when a ten-to-fifteen minute train ride was available. She only hoped that that those ten-to-fifteen minutes would go by quickly.

Tina finished the shopping and took care to arrange the groceries in her cart. They all could not fit in her basket, so she ended up carrying a paper bag of dry ingredients in one arm and a plastic bag of groceries in her opposite hand. She then confidently wheeled her cart behind her as she made her seven-ish minute walk towards Grand Street Station.

Exiting the B train at 7th Avenue Station in Brooklyn, Tina found that dragging her heavy and cumbersome cart up the steps was much harder than rolling them down the steps. She pulled hard on her extra heavy cart with one hand as it gripped the plastic bag full of produce as her other arm was out of commission due to it carrying the paper bag of dry ingredients. As she finally climbed the stairs out of the subway station, she needed a minute to catch her breath and let her muscles relax. As Tina took hold of herself she thought about the train ride she was just on. She was just going to pretend that she did not notice that she had entered a congested car where after getting a whiff of her seafood ingredients, the people nearby either risked walking in-between the moving cars compartments to move away from her or they had simply started crowding away from her thanks to her basket ingredients.

Once she got her bearings, Tina strode down the sidewalk wheeling her grocery haul behind with a bag of groceries in hand trying her best to exude a put-upon confidence. Her camera bounced against her body as she made her stride. The light breeze blew into her face and Tina thought that this day couldn't have been better since the hard part of her day was finally coming to an end, or at least the most physically-demanding part was coming to an end.

Tina made her way she through the busier-than-expected crowd. It was probably after school/work hours now since everyone seemed to be on the street. Despite having to move in such heavy foot traffic, Tina could not help but smile as a feeling of pride swelled inside. She knew once she put the groceries away, she would then work non-stop from then on to tomorrow to finish her documentary. Afterwards, it would just be dream vacation time with Alex.

Suddenly a quote came to her mind:

 _In the long run, digging for truth has always proved not only more interesting but more profitable than digging for gold_. - George R. Harrison

Tina remembered reading that George R. Harrison quote in one of Jamal's physics books. Remembering this quote and thinking about the prize of spending their vacation together motivated Tina to finish her documentary come hell or high water. She just needed to remind herself why she was motivated in making _Sassy Street Walk_. What motivated her to make movies? It was about the truth and authenticity. It was about allowing people to speak for themselves and remind everyone they are people deserving of dignity and respect. Even the most ignored people had a voice that was worth just as much as anyone else's. Her movies would always highlight the "pure" person. "Pure" not meaning free from flaws. No, it was quite the opposite. People were full of contradictions, inconsistencies, weaknesses, and imperfections. And that was the beauty of it. We all were. They were also full of truth, honor, survival, redemption, and inspiration.

Now with the proper motivation, Tina felt that nothing could go wrong and that she could do no wrong. Whatever diminished mood she was in that caused her to procrastinate in Chinatown seemed to fly away now. She knew this dinner would be delicious and her friends would be impressed with the way she would transform Alex's uninspired apartment into a warm, cozy, ideal place perfect for hosting the Ghostwriter team.

As she walked and wheeled her way through the crowded streets, she was then hit with a sudden jolt of inspiration for the screenplay she had been working on. Before she could immerse herself into her semi-fantasy world, she noticed that it was only a few more blocks to Alex's apartment, which was great because her arms and shoulder were getting sore, and her legs were beginning to feel the burn. Lugging this basket up the stairs was no joke.

Just then she hit a huge and deep chasm in the concrete. The grocery bags she was holding fell out from her, while the cart fell sideways resulting in her groceries spilling out. She had hoped nobody had noticed, but well, that was asking for too much given the high volume of people on the street. A few bags of produce laid on the ground and her bag of limes (which she didn't bother to tie) spilled all over the street. As Tina and a few kind souls scrambled to pick everything up, she noticed that both of her shopping cart's wheels had severely cracked. The wheels must have hit some hard-edged steel.

After she recovered, she tried to wheel her cart, but doing so was a much more laborious effort than if she just carried the groceries by arm, which would have been manageable if she had six arms. She roughed her way through a block before realizing that she was not as close to Alex's apartment as she had originally thought. Tina figured that it would be another 10 minutes or so before she reached her destination at this rate. Just then, she heard a boy's voice.

"Do you need help?"

Tina turned around and saw a Latino boy and a girl looking at her curiously. They must have been around 10-years-old.

"No, I'm fine," Tina said as she was clearly struggling with her broken cart and heavy groceries.

"Our mama y papa run that gift shop over there," said the girl pointing across the street. Tina noticed that a small group of kids were staring at her. The pair in front of her must have been playing soccer with them because a blond kid had his foot on a soccer ball and seemed to be waiting for them, while two other kids stared.

"We've been seeing you around lately. You're always carrying a camera and stuff. We know Detective Fernandez. He's your boyfriend, huh?" said the boy with such unfettered moxie that Tina thought it sounded familiar.

"How did you figure that out?" Tina asked.

Just then the girl blushed, and the boy continued, "We can tell when we see you together."

"How do you know Alex, I mean Detective Fernandez?" Tina asked.

"When he first moved in, he came into our store to buy some stuff, and introduced himself. I think he was scoping out the area and meeting all the store owners around here. He ended up having dinner with us because our abuela insisted. Ever since then, we always say 'hi' to him," the girl said. "Our mama y papa say it's great that a detective lives close by; to help watch out for the neighborhood, and even better that he speaks Spanish and is Latino himself."

"She has a crush on him," said the boy teasingly in response to his sister's long recollection of meeting Alex.

"Shut up! No I don't!" the girl said clearly embarrassed and angry.

"Anyway, any friend of Detective Fernandez is a friend of ours, we'd be happy to help," the boy said.

"You should let him," the girl said, "he has a crush on you."

"Shut up!" the boy said, now also clearly embarrassed.

The girl was clearly enjoying getting some payback and continued, "He kept asking Detective Fernandez what your name was and then asked him all about you. My brother even wrote his name and your name in a…"

The boy quickly and desperately covered the girl's mouth and then turned to smiled broadly at Tina, most likely hoping that would distract her from anything that his sister had just said.

Wanting to spare the boy any further embarrassment Tina asked, "Are you sure? You don't mind?"

"Te nada, we'd love to help!" exclaimed the girl enthusiastically once she got free from her brother's grasp. She was probably realizing that she may have gone too far and was now hoping to change the subject.

"Si, we don't mind at all," added the boy who seemed grateful the conversation topic had moved on.

Tina nodded her head, smiled, and told the kids that she "hablo español."

Before they started walking, it seemed the whole group of soccer kids joined them - each helping her carry a few bags. Tina learned that the Latino duo were fraternal twins named Maya and Miguel. They spoke to her in Spanglish. The Asian girl with them was named Maggie and she eagerly taught Tina some Mandarin words before asking about her hair and make-up. Tina knew the Chinese population in Brooklyn had a growing Fuzhounese and other Chinese population resulting in Mandarin displacing Cantonese as the _lingua franca_ of the Chinese-Americans in the area. The black boy named Theo was carrying her shopping cart and kept asking if she was 'seeing anybody' to which Tina replied that he was probably 3 or 4 years old when she went to the prom. She noticed Miguel stared daggers at him as Theo laughed. It took everything in Tina's power not to chuckle. Meanwhile the blond kid named Andy nervously paid a compliment to her camera. He then asked if one could take pictures with only one arm. Tina told him she was sure anyone could be a photographer.

Tina also found out that Maya and Miguel were Mexican-American whose abuela owned a talking parrot. This reminded Tina of the time when Gaby found a smuggled, endangered cockatoo in a dumpster and was almost murdered by an insane bird smuggler and his love-struck assistant. It was one of their lesser adventures. The more Tina thought about her adventures with the team, the more dangerous they seemed in hindsight. She wondered if this group of kids ever faced similar dangers together. Imaging these young kids solving the mysteries she and her friends did made Tina realize just how young 10-to-12 year-olds were. She wouldn't know if she would feel comfortable allowing kids that age to just go off on their own the way she and her friends did.

When Tina reached Alex's door on the third floor, the kids enthusiastically said their goodbyes and that they'd see each other around the neighborhood. Tina smiled as they walked away. As Tina turned the many keys Alex made for her to open the many locks and went inside, she couldn't shake the image of the cute twins out of her head.

 _That's so perfect_ , Tina thought, _sinh đôi, một gái, một trai_ [Twins, one girl, one boy]."

After Tina meticulously put away all the groceries, she noticed that her cellphone had missed calls from her sister Linda.

"Hey Tina!" Linda answered.

"Hey Linda, what's up?" Tina responded.

"What time are you going head down to Buddha Lounge for Tuan and Thuy's show tonight?

 _Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!_ Tina mentally screamed. Two weeks ago, Tina had promised her brother Tuan and his wife Thuy that she would come and see their show at The Buddha Lounge on St. Mark's Place in the East Village. She made that promise before she missed a few nights of working on her film and then having Alex insist she sleep over his apartment for the past few nights.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Linda asked. "That's not like you, it's always you reminding me to do something."

"Sorry Linda, there's been a lot going on lately," Tina responded.

"I know," Linda said.

"I don't know if I can make it tonight, there's a lot of work I need to finish…"

"Tina! You can't cancel at the last minute like this. Plus, Tuan and Thuy reserved us a table. And Shayla is coming too. You haven't seen her in a hot minute," Linda responded.

"Shayla? How has she been?" Tina asked. Shayla was their Vietnamese-Chinese-American cousin who grew up in Forrest Hills, Queens. Shayla always liked telling people she was from Queens and then having those people wrongly assume she grew up in Flushing, to which Shayla would respond with, "Gee, I wonder why you think that."

"Oh, she rented out her bedroom to some tourists on Craigslist," Linda said. "So she's been staying with Grandma for the past two days. She hustles for that extra cash."

"She would," Tina laughed.

Tina and Linda continued their conversation with Tina trying to get out of seeing Tuan and Thuy's performance to Linda's increasingly impassioned pleas to not cancel and keep her commitment. In the end, Tina relented. She did promise and bowing out now would be unforgivable in Tina's mind. Linda then begged Tina to do dinner before their set. It looked as though Tina would not get to work on her movie tonight after all.

 _It's ok_ , Tina resigned to herself. Tina then thought about how to handle the next two days and figured if she worked all day tomorrow, and then maybe do the final touches on Friday morning, she could then submit it to the studio by Friday afternoon instead, thus giving her a few hours to prepare for the dinner party. Plus, Alex would be at the apartment on Friday to help out if need be, if only to help re-arrange the furniture to fit everyone. _Who needs sleep?_ Tina thought. _I'll sleep when I'm dead._

Tina called Alex to tell him she was seeing Tuan and Thuy play at The Buddha Lounge. Alex then responded how he had wished he could come too as he missed going on dates with her in the East Village. Their conversation lasted for thirty additional minutes consisting of them reminiscing their time at NYU and just being around the Village, both East, West, and Greenwich. Tina loved reliving those memories with Alex as he was often as eager as she was to try different restaurants and scenes. Tina could always count on Alex to try new experiences. Alex then finished the conversation asking, "You're going to KENKA, aren't you?" Alex knew Tina all too well.

* * *

Being back at St. Mark's Place energized Tina. It had not ben that long since she graduated from NYU, but it felt as if her college days were long behind her. This street was always full of this creative and yet chill energy. The designs around were some times bizarre but always motivating. She took stock in everything she saw as she walked along the neon-lit strip. Tina saw that there was a line of people waiting out of KENKA. Luckily, Tina called ahead and the hostess, who starred in one of Tina's student films, penciled her in for three at this time. KENKA was a wildly authentic izakaya among all the izakayas along St. Mark's Place.

Tina saw Linda, who waved in response. They hugged each other as they quickly entered the restaurant past the annoyed people.

"This place is wild," Linda said, noticing the entry way was decorated with an imperial Japanese flag waving above an illustration of woman being compromised by red octopuses with a mollusk affixed to her crotch.

"Yeah, I really love the vibe here," Tina said. Tina looked around took in the 1970s Japanese pink cinema-inspired décor. Tina loved seeing the 1970s movie posters, the relics of vintage Japan, pachinko machines, and other old advertisements. "Wait till you see the bathroom, it's full of graffiti. And the courtyard is full of naked mannequins wearing demonic, long-nosed tengu masks."

"I never thought this would be your scene!"

Tina and Linda turned to face Shayla. Tina always loved Shayla's look. Shayla's fashion made Tina think of her like an Asian Lenni, except one who embraced her more awkward Asian dorky side that some how made her chic and fashion-forward. Shayla then aggressively hugged the both of them. Tina made sure not to knock over Shayla's oversized and old-fashioned frames.

"San mei sama desu!" the hostess yelled as Tina, Linda, and Shayla made their way their little wooden table near the interior courtyard.

"Hai Irrashyaimase!" the cook staff responded.

As the three women settled into their tables and eyed their menus, Tina watched the other tables with their $8 pitchers of Sapporo beer, small plates full of sizzling meats and Japanese potato salad.

"Yo, check out this Godzilla wrecking Tokyo tower!" Shayla said showing Linda and Tina the illustration on the menu.

Linda giggled. Tina asked if they minded if she ordered for the table so that they could all share plates. Both Shayla and Linda, being younger than Tina and used to being bossed around by her, readily agreed.

Tina ordered yakisoba, yakitori, takoyaki, gyoza, and sashimi, with three bowls of Japanese curry to start. "Do you guys want any friend rice or some grilled meat or anything?" Tina asked.

"Sheeeeet, I think we're good," Shayla responded.

"Yeah, I think this is more than enough food, Tina," Linda said

"We can always order more if we need more food," Tina said unsure if this really was enough food. She was seriously hungry right now.

Tina caught Shayla and Linda look at each other as if saying there goes their bossy older sister/cousin again.

"There are a lot of Asians here, but there are also a lot of white people here. How many of these people are New Yorkers you think?" Shayla asked as she looked around the restaurant.

"How many people in New York do you think are actually from New York?" asked Linda in response.

"Man, I wish I could move to a city on mom and dad's trust fund," Shayla answered.

"Well, New York has always been a place people could escape to," Tina said. "Anyway, I think NYC is like a state of mind, rather than just being a place you're born in."

"I dunno man," Shayla responded. "There's something about being from here and not driving rent prices up. Remember those subway tokens? Being five years old and squeezing past people to put in that subway token. I kinda think people from out-of-state are fakes. They didn't experience THAT New York."

"Damn, what's gotten into your grill?" Linda asked.

Shayla and Linda continued their conversation about being from New York vs. just moving here. Tina wondered if this was how Rob felt not being from NYC.

"I don't know. I mean yeah, there's something to be said about being a born-and-bred New Yorker. I mean it's a unique and totally distinct experience. But I also think one can move here and be a New Yorker as well. Also, a city isn't static. Cities and cultures evolve, as does its identity. I mean, how many people born-and-bred in NYC thought our parents were out-of-state fakes?" Tina asked.

Shayla paused to think about it. "Yeah, I think you're right about that. I'm sure some people look at our skin color and chinky eyes and think we're not real New Yorkers either even though New York is the only place we know."

"Your eyes don't look chinky with them huge-ass frames," Linda responded.

 _What was with this idea of purity? What did it mean to be a "true" New Yorker? To be a "true" anything,_ Tina thought.

"I will say this, some of these couples are CLASSIC! White dudes with yellow fever," Shayla added. "I mean I bet these girls got that bomb pussy, that sort of Soon-Yi one that attracts white dudes who look like Moby."

Linda turned to Tina. Tina knew that Linda sensed Tina's discomfort. Tina gave a smile to not ruin the mood of the dinner. She wondered if people saw her and Alex like that. Alex's family were from El Salvador, but Alex was pretty light-skinned. _It's obvious that_ _he's Latino, but maybe he could pass off as white._ She wondered if other Asian people who saw them together would make the same judgments Shayla was making now.

She remembered her ex-boyfriend Richie Le used to complain about Asian girls dating white men. Knowing other Asian men, he was far from alone with that sentiment. It was always white men they complained about - not other couples where they would see: Asian women with men from other non-Asian and non-white races/ethnicities. Tina and Richie used to get into heated fights about this subject. Tina felt Asian women were not objects for Asian men to collect and that Asian men should stop feeling entitled to them and should take that energy to work on themselves instead. Richie felt Asian women internalized a self-hating racism and thought of men as rungs on a ladder with white men being at the top. This argument would also cross into Tina thinking about his and others complaints when half-Asian actors would get cast as full-Asian characters. Richie obviously fell into the camp of stating it was obvious Asian actors would never get a fair shake in Hollywood and one had to have "white" features to be accepted by a white-dominated society, which made half-Asians-half-white actors more attractive than full Asian actors, especially for men. Tina herself had mixed feelings about it herself, but at the same time she thought how wrong it was to have some sort of purity test to establish whether a person was "Asian enough". If she and Alex ever had children, would they be seen with this much scorn?

Shayla, Linda, and Tina changed the subject of the conversation to a much more light-hearted jovial one with Shayla advising them on how to vacation in the city for cheap. Linda would talk about life at F.I.T. and how she would probably focus on pattern-making as she did not seem to have the same creative foresight of many of her other classmates. Tina then spoke about her film, which reminded her of all the work she had left to do.

After dinner, the three women headed to The Buddha Lounge for Tuan and Thuy's performance. Not to be confused with the Asian Hip Hop Bar, Fat Buddha nearby, The Buddha Lounge was in an enclosed basement room that was set up to be a more intimate performance venue. The venue was mostly standing room, with a few tables scattered. The stage was small but super close to the audience that Tina imagined it provided a strong sense of intimacy for the performer that would border on the uncomfortable.

The venue was already packed - mostly consisting of college-aged and up Asian-Americans. Tina wondered who was responsible for marketing this show as it seemed to be on point.Tina never imagined Tuan would be playing for this crowd since he grew up playing in a rock band called The Leaping Dogs that specialized in the 90s hard rock sound. One thing that set the Leaping Dogs apart was that they encouraged Tuan to write songs with melodies that provided the band with an "Eastern" flavor that made them distinct from most of the other bands of that time. Tuan did express some frustration that people used to confuse him with James Iha of the Smashing Pumpkins - not even the right kind of Asian. The Leaping Dogs enjoyed some success resulting in continual residuals that would help Tuan financially after The Leaping Dogs disbanded about three years ago.

About two years ago, Tuan was invited by a fellow musician friend of his to meet this classically-trained pianist, who was now software engineer from the Bay area of California. Tuan's friend explained that she was in NYC on vacation and decided to jam and workshop with a bunch of local artists. He asked Tuan to listen to her perform the songs from those sessions to see what he thought, thinking since they were both Vietnamese-American, they would connect. Tuan was smitten with her right from the start. However, it took Thuy some convincing to finally date him. From what she told Tina, Thuy initially had a bad impression of Tuan despite thinking he was "hot". She thought Tuan was arrogant - dispensing unsolicited advice on how she could improve. She said he came off as condescending, pushy, and short-tempered outside of talking about music as well. She also saw he had this sarcastic streak in him that she found off-putting. Tina loved that after two years of dating, Thuy's outwardly zen demeanor calmed Tuan down somewhat while his energy and passion in-turn inspired Thuy to tackle music on full-time.

They were now a music duo who wrote, produced, and performed all of their own music. They had just released their first album about three months ago and were doing a small tour playing at small venues like this to help get the word out. Tina remembered being floored by their album when she heard it as she had never heard anything this sophisticated from Tuan before. The album comprised of pop folk, acoustic rock tracks that entered into unexplored personal territory for him. Both Thuy and Tuan's musical abilities combined their differing instrumentations and writing styles into some rare cohesive whole where the melodies carried an emotional weight and depth Tina had only really experienced with some of her favorite films.

Tina wondered if her opinion on the album was clouded by her personal relationship with Tuan and by her general ignorance of music. She asked Lenni to listen to it to see what a "real" musician thought. Lenni absolutely loved it as well and spoke about how Thuy's music-writing mixed with Tuan's production showed how they were inspired by each other and the progressive music scene. Lenni said that so many of the tracks forced her to take time to actually sit down to count out time signatures so that she could hear how they were composing the songs. She said that they were using rotating time for the tracks and that's how they were able to work so smoothly. Tina had no idea what any of that meant, but she knew it was something good.

After a short wait, Thuy and Tuan finally came out amidst the cheers from the crowd. Tuan had much more clean look than Tina was used to seeing from him. Tuan took a stance with his acoustic guitar. Looking at Tuan with his nice fitted, short-sleeved button down shirt and dress jeans donning a short and semi-professionally groomed hair, Tina noticed how Tuan was looking more like their dad as he got older. Thuy with a flower in her hair that was tied up in a loose bun sat by the piano. Tina thought Thuy looked so classic with her long neck. Tina did not realize how she had been idolizing Thuy since Tuan first introduced her. She was the calm, understanding older sister she wish she always had.

When they started, it soon became clear that this was going to be a "storyteller" sort of performance where they would explain the history and process behind each track. As each song progressed through the set, Tuan and Thuy became more in-tuned with each other. Tina felt she was seeing two separate and dissimilar people becoming one harmonious entity right in front of her eyes. She had wish she brought her camera to film this.

After seven songs, the moment Tina had been waiting for finally came. Tuan and Thuy were introducing her favorite song, a heartbreak ballad called "Armistice". This song was what convinced Tina to go ahead and see their show tonight despite knowing that it would put more pressure on her to finish the film on time. Tina listened as Thuy spoke about the song.

"So, one thing I admired about musicians, before I became one professionally," Thuy started, "was that they could co-write with other people. That they could take this extremely personal and private writing process and be in the room with someone else when it's happening. When I only did this as a hobby, never imagining I could ever do this professionally, I would be terrible at it. I wanted it to keep it to myself, to keep my thoughts and feelings away from others. It was because I'm the most insecure, huge fragile ego person you could imagine…so I thought that would be a great thing to subject Tuan to, when we first met. I felt if anyone deserved a beating, it was him."

As the audience laughed it up, Tina focused in on Tuan as Thuy was speaking. What she saw as a pure love and admiration in his eyes. There was also this pride and happiness she could sense coming out of Tuan as he watched Thuy speak to the audience and gear up to perform this track. Tuan grabbed the drumsticks and prepared himself to provide the percussion.

"So after many traumatic writing sessions that he had to experience, I think we managed to make something together." Thuy and Tuan then smiled at each other. The love between them was palpable. "And although this is the climax of our album, this song was actually the first song we wrote together when we decided to make an album together. This song was simply us expressing the pain we felt when we went through a particularly bad fight. We thought it was over between us, but we found ways to communicate and heal from it. And this song was a way to put the pain of that experience into something productive and something we can move forward from."

Thuy then started the melody of the song on the piano. Her crystal clear voice managed to convey a person singing about the pain of a recent relationship. The words were deeply poetic for Tina as it guided her towards images of someone walking back home alone from a brutal war, beaten and bruised. This image was a metaphor for a person struggling with getting over a hurtful relationship and who needed to escape back to a safe place...to be isolated so they could deal with the pain of losing someone important. Tuan's manic drumming added a march-like urgency to the song, as if the singer was moving forward past the conflict and into the resolution. They were playing two clearly independent melodies.

Then Tina's favorite part came, as Thuy hit the high note registering the desperate aching of hurting another person, of "making him bleed", Tuan came in on the bridge and softly and calmly sang the point-of-view of the protagonist's partner. As he sang, the lyrics were basically telling her to "go home while I stay here…as other strangers keep on marching…" so they could heal. Tuan NEVER sang so clearly before. It gave him an innocence Tina never saw in him. This also differed so much from his earlier crazy drumming. His repeated lines with her increasingly desperate singing - moving away from the pristine classical beginning - displayed how two people could be affected and influenced by the other. The two independent melodies turned into a meaningful whole.

As they brought the song to a close, Tina realized she had been crying. She turned and saw Linda also in tears with Shayla looking almost concerned for the both of them. Tina had never been so proud of her older brother, and she knew Linda felt the same.

"And, it was after we wrote this song about separating and realizing that we cannot go back to where we once were, we decided to get married," Tuan said to which the crowd applauded and cheered.

After the set finished, Tina, Linda, and Shayla were at the venue's bar waiting for Thuy and Tuan to finish meeting their "fans". After greeting each other and assuring both Thuy and Tuan that they performed a great set, they settled down with some drinks. Tina and Tuan did not allow Linda to drink any alcohol as she was underage, to which she rolled her eyes.

"That was a really nice bit about getting married," Linda said sipping on her Shirley Temple.

"Yeah, are you going to ever have a wedding ceremony for Ba and Mẹ?" Tina asked nursing her Stoli Tonic.

Tuan nearly spit out his whiskey on the rocks, while Thuy smiled into her martini.

"I don't know, I don't think we need a wedding," Thuy said.

"Yeah, I don't see why we have to have this expensive ceremony. We're already officially married. That's all that matters. I mean, a marriage is just about us, right?" Tuan asked.

"Well, no," Linda said surprisingly. "It's also about family and letting us share and celebrate your love."

"Pfft, it's just to allow our parents to show off to our other relatives and to throw a party," Tuan said.

"Still, you are the oldest, and the only son of Ba. It means a lot to him and to Mẹ. It's also a way to show them you're thankful to your parents for raising you and all that," Linda said.

"Even when I'm 27 they still have to try to push traditions on me," Tuan laughed. "I guess we can never get away from it."

"It is something to think about," Thuy said. "My parents are the same way. They're still mad we didn't have a wedding and a reception."

"I just think it's more for them than it is for us," Tuan said. "When we got married, it was a decision that was so personal and just between us. Why do we have to display anything for anyone?

"Says the guy who revealed you got married in front of a crowd full of strangers after an emotional post-love song because you wanted to share how you and Thuy were in love," Tina answered. Tina thought about both perspectives. She found herself agreeing with both. Marriage and love should only be about the partners. It was special only to them. However, love was also inspiring. It was meant to be shared with others as well. People don't live in a vacuum or a void. Other people who love you want to share in your love as well. 

Tuan gave Tina an annoyed glance, while Shayla gave Tina a "dayum girl!" look as she drank her PBR.

"That was different, ok?" Tuan said clearly annoyed with Tina.

"I don't see how," Tina answered calmly. She knew she was pushing his buttons and loved it.

"It was just me and Thuy on that stage and it was just an expression of how I was feeling towards her."

"Well, a wedding ceremony is similar. Sure there is a lot of pomp and ceremony with it and a lot of family obligatory traditions, but in the end, it's just you and Thuy together when you say 'I do'." Tina said. "People who love you want to join in. That's all."

"Ok, I'll think about it," Tuan said. Tuan then playfully smiled and said, "I'm surrounded by the enemy here."

Thuy then gave Tuan a sympathetic smile and offered her hand, to which he squeezed.

"Hey, don't look at me as the enemy, I never want to get married," Shayla said. Tuan, Linda, and Tina then turned their attention on her and were not going to let her get away with that. What would the family think?

After sharing a few more drinks and chatting with each other, they decided it was time to go home. Tuan and Thuy had already agreed to meet some other musicians at some after party. They asked if the three girls wanted to join them. Shayla said an enthusiastic "hells yeah" while Linda and Tina declined as both had long days tomorrow.

Before Tina left, Tuan pulled her aside and hugged her. "Thank you for coming, it meant a lot, and thank you for your reaction to "Armistice". Both Thuy and I noticed you and Linda, and it just made me feel…I don't know. It made me feel like you guys saw me…saw us." Tina squeezed Tuan harder in turn.

"But Tina…are you doing ok? With Alex, with everything? The movie?" Tuan asked.

Tina wondered if the Tuan mistook her reaction to Tina reacting to the subject matter of that song. Tina reassured Tuan everything was fine and she was looking forward to her vacation with Alex. Tuan gave her another worried look and then let her go. Tuan was still apprehensive about Alex considering the amount of times she and Alex broke up in the past six or so years.

As Tina and Linda exited, Linda begged Tina to go to Sunrise Mart before it closed so she could buy some matcha and omigiri to bring back home. Tina agreed as she wanted to pick up a few things for Alex's lunch tomorrow. It was 10:45 pm, so they hurried to the store.

As Tina and Linda separated in the store, Tina found herself picking up some omigiri and pre-packaged bento boxes for her and Alex to share. Then she found some loose-leaf green tea she had been meaning to buy. Then she added a random assortment of candy that would go well with the party. Then she wondered if they needed more utensils, bowls, and mugs. Before she could go to that section, she found herself distracted by some pre-packaged baked sweets that she added to her basket. Her basket was filling up quickly, and Tina realized she automatically grabbed everything in quantities of two or multiples of two.

Just then Tina felt someone creep up behind her. Tina turned and saw a face she had not seen in about two years.

"I knew it was you, even from behind."

Tina took stock of the man in front of her. With his 5'8 frame, number 1 fade, hair slicked back, silver chain, and stud earrings, Richie Le had not changed a bit. "Wow, Richie! How are you?" Tina said, unsure if she should embrace him or not.

"I'm good, just shopping before making dinner," he responded.

"Dinner? It's almost 11:00 pm." Tina responded.

"I had a late start today," Richie said shrugging his shoulders. "I actually just flew back in from L.A., visiting the fam there."

Tina took stock of seeing Richie. This was her ex-boyfriend. The one she dated when Alex and her broke up after he first joined the force. The one she had dated for about five months where it became serious. The one she dumped when Alex and her got back together.

Feeling awkward and not knowing what to say, Tina asked, "Are you still in New York and working at Mitsu Financial Group?"

"Yeah, nothing's changed there," Richie said deadpan.

"I thought you'd be back in SoCal by now. I'm surprised you're still in New York."

"Well, that was the plan, but after you…after we broke up, I decided to stick around and focus on my work. I was only planning to move back to L.A. with you, you know, to be with my fam when we got married and stuff." Richie said. His general demeanor seemed careful, as if he was trying to preserve himself.

"Married?" Tina could not help but ask.

"You know we talked about it," Richie answered defensively.

"We talked about the concept of marriage in the way most couples do, we were not engaged or anything."

"So you just casually talk about life-long commitments with just anybody then?"

"That's not what I said."

"We talked about moving to L.A. together, what do you think would have came after?" Richie spat.

"I didn't think it was marriage. I just thought it was just going to be a change of scenery and a new location for me to experience while we kept doing what we were doing."

"You're really playing dumb, you know? I mean listen to yourself. That makes no sense at all."

"It did to me," Tina answered back. She realized Richie had just assumed that Tina would just go along with everything he had decided to do. Worse, Tina knew Richie had expected that from her, as if he was entitled.

Then there was some silence as Richie and Tina sized each other up. Tina sensed Richie's anger rising and saw in his face how he resisted saying more. Tina did not know if she should continue this thread or if she should try to find a way to change the course and mood of their conversation. Then she noticed Richie's basket contained two pieces of New York strip.

"Are you still making your famous steak?" Tina asked smirking as if she caught him doing a bad act.

"Uh…yeah…" Richie said realizing he was being found out - anger leaving out of him and embarrassment rising.

"You're still pulling that stunt? Cooking a steak for a girl when you first date her?" Tina said remembering Richie pulling that stunt on her on one of their first dates. Once they got serious, Richie admitted to Tina that it was a move he pulled on girls. He admitted this because he wanted to be "real" with Tina and not hide anything from her. Funny how that was the worst thing Richie was hiding compared to who knows what Alex was hiding from her with his job.

"Ok fine, yeah you got me, ok? I told this girl I went to visit the fams and that I was getting in today. So now she wants to come over. Thought it'd be nice to make her a steak."

"I'm sure you did," Tina said laughing. "Give her a little _taste_ , right?" Tina said possibly joking a bit too much to the point of flirting.

"What bout you?" Richie said finally giving a Tina a smile and eyeing her basket.

"What about me?"

"Your basket's full. That looks like you're buying for two or something."

 _Oh, this was an interrogation now_ , Tina thought. She was dating a detective, she didn't need to play this game with anyone else. "Oh, well, yeah, I was picking some stuff up for the apartment," Tina replied.

"Apartment? You telling me your parents finally let you live on your own….probably with a boyfriend, huh? They wouldn't let you move in with me the entire time we dated. They thought you had to be married. What changed?"

"That's not exactly it," Tina replied, not sure why she was responding. "I haven't officially moved in with Alex or anything…" Tina instantly knew she made a mistake saying Alex's name.

"ALEX?!" Richie exclaimed. It took him a beat or two to suppress whatever it was he was feeling. "Well, I guess it's good you're still with that guy. Would hate it if you dumped me for a guy who didn't last."

"Ok, Richie, you're just being mean now," Tina replied.

"I'm being mean? You're the one who broke my heart!" Richie blurted out.

"It was two years ago!"

"You think there's a time limit on that sort of thing?" Richie asked. Tina saw he was started to shake with anger again. "I mean...this is unbelievable...and your parents are so strict...and you think they would have just let you move to L.A. with me if marriage wasn't coming...and now they're ok with you living with him..."

It was clear Richie was now talking more to himself than to anyone else. Tina was figuring out how to rectify this situation. She had been so absorbed with being back with Alex that she hardly gave Richie any further thought after breaking up with him.

Richie took a few breaths and then continued, "You know it's fine…I didn't realize…maybe I shouldn't have said 'hi' to you…I thought we could have just talked like before..."

"Richie…I…I'm sorry." That was all Tina could muster. She saw Richie's expression of anger and hurt and just wanted it to go away. She realized right then that in Alex and her's tug-of-war, they have left some casualties. Tina wanted to make things right, but did not know where to start.

"It's just…I loved you. I took a chance on you. I never committed to anyone before…it still hurts," Richie continued.

"Again, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It's just…."

"I know. You and Alex have that history together. Just…if you two break up again, be careful how you treat someone you date before you go back together."

"That's not fair! You act like I maliciously hurt you…and it's not like Alex was the reason we broke up," Tina finally admitted. It was true. Alex and her may have unintentionally harmed others with their relationship, but she knew both her and Alex's relationships with other would not have lasted.

"He is!"

"No, he wasn't. We had problems, Richie. Real issues we never dealt with."

"No we didn't."

"Yeah, we did. You were always trying to 'improve me' or 'change me' or get me to be like one of your Asian Baby Girls you dated. You called the shots and everything was in your terms. I was this novelty you wanted to add to your life. This accessory. You didn't really show real interest in who I actually am. You weren't that interested in my films or anything. You thought they were just fun hobbies I did. You never showed interest in any of the movies I watched and tried to share with you. We would always fight about some real differences in our politics and thinking. Us breaking up was probably bound to happen, Alex or no Alex." Tina said, letting it out.

"You're twisting things...you went along with...you make it seem like...that's not how it was...I just wanted you to be more like..." Richie stammered. Taking a moment, Richie continued, "And anyway, all that stuff you said...that stuff wasn't important." Richie slowly took more control over himself. "When you love someone you work past differences. You just…you just threw us away so easily. You're under _his_ spell and ran back to him when he came calling. "

"No, Richie…if anything, I gave up on Alex too quickly and rushed into a relationship with you," Tina said. She knew saying that would hurt Richie, but she had to tell him the truth. The truth was that hindsight had taught her that she should have never allowed Alex to push her away the way he did. She should have fought even after giving him space for three months. Or at least, she certainly should not have rushed into this relationship with Richie after it happened. Maybe Alex eventually coming to his senses would have taken so long had she not been with Richie. Tina now knew that her relationship to Alex could not be left up to fate any longer. Only she and Alex were responsible for what happened next with them. It was in their control and thus it was their responsibility to make sure their relationship continued to blossom as it has now.

However, Tina felt some regret for being so blunt with Richie when saw the sheer hurt on Richie's face. Richie looked as though he was going to say something before he decided against it.

"Make sure to take care of yourself, Tina. Don't disappear," Richie cryptically said. He raised his hand as though he wanted to touch her cheek before deciding against it and walking away.

Tina had to take a few breaths after that exchange.

"Are you ok?"

Tina turned around and saw Linda standing behind her.

"I was going to intervene, but it looked like you were taking care of yourself," Linda said placing a supportive hand on Tina's shoulder.

Tina simply nodded and suggested that they go check out. It was way past closing time and some of the workers at Sunrise Mart were waiting for them to leave although it was obvious they had enjoyed the two-character one act drama that just played for them. Tina wondered why it wasn't boring for them. After all, it was New York. She was sure these scenes happened all the time.

* * *

Tina and Linda rode the N train back to Brooklyn. They would ride as far as the Atlantic Ave. stop before separating to take different trains - with Linda taking the Q to Fort Greene and Tina taking the 4 towards Prospect Heights. As Tina and Linda quietly sat side-by-side reflecting on what had just happened, Linda finally broke the silence, "You know I never liked Richie, right?"

"I know," said Tina.

"I mean yeah...he's a cool and interesting dude. He was Vietnamese too to extra points for that. He also had a great paying job and all, which would be like the Viet parents BINGO...and he's hot..."

"So hot." Tina could not help interrupting.

"Yeah, so hot. But he didn't get you," Linda continued.

"I'm glad you see that. He made me feel like I only felt that _post-hoc_ , like to assuage my guilt or something..."

"Don't dwell on that," Linda said. "You know it wouldn't have lasted with him."

"I know but I can't help but regret how I did just drop him once Alex came back into my life." Tina then contemplated and felt herself shaking. "I should have been much more considerate to Richie and thought about his feelings..."

"How? You didn't enter a relationship with him with bad intentions. You can't control how much further Richie wanted to take things with you. You did not know Alex would come back into your life like that...You can only worry about yourself. You never cheated on him or lied to him, you just realized he wasn't the one for you," Linda said, "It's up to Richie to deal with that, not you."

"I just can't help but feel so bad...maybe Richie is right and I would still be with him had it not been for Alex. It's just when I'm with Alex...when he came back into my life like that...I can't explain it...Alex is…it's just…he's a part of me. He's like this vital organ I have and without him, I won't be able to breathe...to live…" Tina said getting more emotional. "Some times I think a lot of things don't make sense between Alex and me, but I also feel like none of that matters. He makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world, he always encourages me and pushes me to follow my passions and do what I want, he'll always support me...he makes me feel I'm enough just as I am...but I still don't know what I did to make him want me...I don't know what to think a lot of the times...I don't know why I think what I think a lot of the times...everything is so silly...it's just..."

Linda pulled Tina into a hug and the two sisters latched onto each other until they hit Atlantic Avenue.

"You always overthink things," Linda said. "You know Alex and you have something that just makes sense. It makes you happy. Why question things like this? These sort of things...they're not a mystery to solve or a puzzle to figure out. People find love. It doesn't have to make sense. It only needs to be real and healthy. It has to let two people be their best selves together."

Tina looked up at her 18-year-old sister. How did she get so wise? Where did she get her very adult-understanding of love from? She sounded like a person twice her age giving advice. What happened to the bratty, sassy, and spoiled little sister who never left her alone growing up? Tina realized she may have been underestimating her sister her whole life.

Linda looked down and smiled at Tina. "Come on Tina, I was paraphrasing a line from a movie you made me watch once. What did you tell me once? Truth can be found in cinema? I mean it sounds true."

Tina and Linda started laughing. It was at this moment that Tina knew that Linda fully understood her as well. What better way to give any advice more credibility and weight with Tina than to tell her that it came from a movie she admired?

"If it helps with anything, both Ba and Mẹ were waiting for Alex to come back when you started dating Richie...some of it may have been wishful thinking, but I think they knew he'd be back. I certainly thought so...but I was like 15 and believed in the myth of one true love and all that with all the manga I was reading and all the anime and Taiwanese and Korean dramas I was watching with Mẹ...but you and Alex are like a real life OTP ("one true pairing"). You make sure I don't get too cynical. Maybe I'll meet a real-life Jerry Yan from _Meteor Garden_ who will marry me in real life! You guys make me believe," Linda joked.

Linda reducing her and Alex to some fictional and unrealistic but model romance made her want to smack Linda on the arm even though she said something that was essentially sweet.

Tina got off of her subway station and made her way back to Alex's apartment. Once she was on the surface with cell phone reception again, her phone buzzed with a text message Alex had sent about 35 minutes before. Alex wrote that he was home. Tina quickly responded that she was on her way. She hoped he was still awake to receive it.

Tina, with bag of groceries from Sunrise Mart in one hand, decided she wanted to wait a bit before going back to the apartment. She felt that she needed to calm herself down before seeing Alex as she was still shaken from her reunion with Richie.

She then spotted a corner store that was still open. She wondered if it still sold loosies as some stores/delis/bodegas still did although it was illegal. The Fernandezes never sold loose cigarettes at their bodega as far as she knew. She hated herself for it, but she craved a cigarette right about now. Richie, a regular smoker, got Tina got into the habit of smoking. Tina never became a habitual smoker, but some times she would crave one in social settings or stressful situations.

Of course, the store did not sell loosies, though Tina would not actually know because she did not want to actively ask the clerk for them. She had hoped to just see them by the cash register or something. She ended up buying a pack of Camel Lights, Tina's preferred brand.

Tina lit up a cigarette and inhaled and then exhaled the felt herself calm down and then proceeded to walk home with the Sunrise Mart bag in one hand and a cigarette in another. Tina walked under a sidewalk tunnel and felt the incandescence of the temporary florescent lights that were installed. Tina started swaying her hair a bit as she continued smoking her cigarette. The streets were empty. What a contrast to how they were earlier that day. There was this sharp midnight blue tint to the night sky where the street lights and these temporary fluorescent lights added a real glow to the environment. Prospect Heights with all its brownstones somehow looked like a scene from a Taiwanese New Wave film. Tina wish she had her camera to capture the beautiful lighting.

As Tina made her way to Alex's apartment, she became more excited about seeing him. She was coming home to Alex. Coming home...to Alex. Was it home? Whatever it was, she just wanted to be near him right now. Just thinking about him being there and waiting for her put her at peace.

She imagined what Alex was doing now. Was he sleeping? She started hearing his quiet snores. She imagined him clutching onto a pillow substituting for her body. She knew once she got into bed, Alex would forego the pillow and grab her.

What if he was still awake? She imagined him greeting her with that sure and cheerful smile and that almost child-like excitement as she opened the apartment doors. When he would greet her, it was as if he was like a small child who was so eager to see his parent. He made her feel as if his life's purpose was focused on having her in his presence. That work and other hobbies Alex had were just ways for him to fill up every moment she was not with him. She still did not understand why, but at least she knew Alex made her feel that way. And that she did not have to be anyone else for him to be that way towards her.

Feeling the weight of her grocery bag, she imagined Alex grabbing the bag of groceries from her and lighting up upon seeing the bento boxes, omigiri, and sweet baked goods. Despite it being late, Alex would not be able to help himself and would probably eat a bento box. He would probably unwrap the plastic on one of the baked goods and share it with her, insisting she eat some despite any protests she gave.

It was no use arguing with Alex when it came to food. She would just give in because he was so cute when he ate. There was this pure unfettered joy in him when he ate. She imagined feeding him for years and seeing his belly grow; turning Alex into a cute pudgy middle-aged man. That fantasy made her happy beyond words.

Tina then imagined Alex grabbing her as he often did and pulling her into a kiss, despite the fresh raw fish breath he would have from eating a bento. She imagined the feeling of warmth his body provided. She could smell his masculine cologne as she rested on his chest. She knew his back would bend as he lowered himself into another deep kiss, leading her to bed.

Tina excitedly advanced on Prospect Place, almost bouncing her way to Alex's apartment. She happily went up on each step and opened the front door of the apartment building where Alex was waiting for her to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> First off, I need to thank minimoon132002 for graciously allowing me to borrow her idea of Tina having a diary with Ghostwriter writing in it. Everyone should check out her fic on FanFiction.net titled: The Diary here: s/4921850/1/The-Diary
> 
> I personally find Tina so enjoyable to write. As a Vietnamese-American and huge cinephile myself, I simply relate to Tina the most out of all the Ghostwriter characters. So with that in mind, I hope you guys enjoyed this look into her.
> 
> I have quotes for every character that I use to help me keep every character straight. When you have a story with eight main human characters and a post-human one, it can some times be hard to keep them distinct and different, so I find these quotes help. For Tina, it's "Still waters run deep."
> 
> Regarding whether the team will have another mystery to solve together…no spoilers but maybe. There may be one in this fic and may be a much bigger one in a follow-up fic I have already planned and began an outline for…I won't give out any hints yet, but it's something big I have planned.
> 
> Next chapter, we take a trip to Chicago to see what Casey is up to before we finally see the team together again at the dinner party.
> 
> Like always, please leave a comment and/or review!


	11. Chapter 10: Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey Austin is moving back to her dorm to start in final year as an undergrad at University of Chicago. A strange feeling of apathy and excitement envelopes Casey as she thinks about the double life she's leading. One where she plays the role of a dutiful daughter wanting nothing more than to meet the high expectations of her mother; and the other that brings her on stage at local comedy clubs in Chicago.

_I fell in love again  
_ _All things go, all things go  
_ _Drove to Chicago  
_ _All things know, all things know  
_ _We sold our clothes to the state  
_ _I don't mind, I don't mind  
_ _I made a lot of mistakes  
_ _In my mind, in my mind_

_You came to take us  
_ _All things go, all things go  
_ _To recreate us  
_ _All things grow, all things grow  
_ _We had our mindset  
_ _All things know, all things know  
_ _You had to find it  
_ _All things go, all things go_

_I drove to New York  
_ _In a van, with my friend  
_ _We slept in parking lots  
_ _I don't mind, I don't mind  
_ _I was in love with the place  
_ _In my mind, in my mind_

_If I was crying  
_ _In the van, with my friend  
_ _It was for freedom  
_ _From myself and from the land  
_ _I made a lot of mistakes_

_You came to take us  
_ _All things go, all things go  
_ _To recreate us  
_ _All things grow, all things grow  
_ _We had our mindset  
_ _(I made a lot of mistakes)  
_ _All things know, all things know  
_ _(I made a lot of mistakes)  
_ _You had to find it  
_ _(I made a lot of mistakes)  
_ _All things go, all things go  
_ _(I made a lot of mistakes)_

\- Sufjan Stevens

**Wednesday, September 21, 2005.**

**Chicago, Illinois**

**That Evening**

Casey Austin looked out to the audience from behind the curtain. Her nerves were rising. She was only a few minutes away from getting up on that stage.

Casey had only started performing stand-up in the middle of her fall quarter of her junior year at the University of Chicago ("UChicago" or "U of C" for the older alums). She was now entering her senior year, so she had little experience in this regard. Her last performance at the end of her spring quarter went well, as far as Casey could tell. But what did she know? She was also high from exams being over so that could have skewed her perspective just a bit. Also, she had performed at this safe progressively-minded safe space of a coffee shop where they could relate to her comedy of juggling college life with her love life, and jokes about what she was studying.

Cook's Kitchen was different. Casey and her college best friend and roommate Rhonda thought it would be fun to start the fall quarter of their senior year with a welcome back performance. However, Casey made a mistake in letting Rhonda surprise her with the venue she would be performing at. How could this be a "welcome back" if Casey never performed here before? This performance venue had a much more working class, "urban" crowd than Casey had ever performed in front of. This made her much more self-conscious over the set she had planned.

Also adding to Casey's worries was the fact that it had been months since she last performed a stand-up routine. There was no way her sister Cheryl or mother Emmaline would approve of Casey doing this as a hobby, so Casey simply never told them she started doing stand-up as a hobby.

Breathing in-and-out, Casey was going through which routine she would perform and changing her mind every moment. Casey then felt shaky and put her palms on the red brick wall conscious of the fact that other people backstage were watching her.

Just then she heard some footsteps approach her.

"Girl, you ok? You look like you're gonna barf," Rhonda said with two drinks in her hand while laughing at Casey entering into a state of panic.

"Oh I _only_ have puke face, that's good. I thought I was having an aneurism or something," Casey replied while grabbing the red drink from Rhonda's hands and trying to do some yoga breaths to stop herself from hyperventilating. She was not sure what yoga breaths were, but she saw Tina do them enough times to think she got the gist of it. Casey was more of a Zumba with Gaby, Lenni, and Hector sort of girl. Right now, she was more of a busting and arresting violent cartel gang members with Alex, doing a crazy 360 dolphin dragon flip on a skateboard with Rob, or flying into space with Jamal kind of girl than a stand-up comedian given the way she was freaking out.

"I shouldn't have eaten three slices of that pizza…" Casey said. "This is non-alcoholic right?" Casey asked regarding her drink.

"Yes…the red one is non-alcoholic as you should know because it looks like every other virgin cocktail I've seen you drink. I know you don't drink, you act like I don't know."

"Ok just making sure," Casey said, taking sips in-between her yoga breaths. She was not sure if this was helping.

"I know it's been awhile since you performed, but this isn't your first time or anything." Rhonda said finally realizing Casey was seriously panicking rather than having her usual pre-show jitters. _I swear performers_ , Rhonda thought to herself.

"Yeah I know, but I'm not used to performing for _this_ crowd, and it's a Wednesday night, why is it so packed?"

"I picked this place because you need to perform more for _this_ crowd. They're _our_ people. They won't bullshit you. This will only make you a stronger comedian. And also, this place is known for their Wednesday amateur nights so people like to get over hump day and laugh at people crash and burn…"

Casey then shot daggers at Rhonda, then widened her eyes and had a sheer look of terror.

"I mean…they like to see who can entertain them…and it's a popular date venue," Rhonda _corrected_.

"Great, you signed me up for _Showtime at the Apollo…_ thanks Mo'Nique! Now, I can't wait for that stage clown to come in and blow his horn at me to get off the stage or to hook me off the stage with people laughing at that ass clownery…or maybe I get to play cupid and have a couple here give an anniversary speech ten years from now where they fell in love after seeing a skinny white-sounding black girl tell some lame esoteric jokes and then faint on stage. How sweet! You know, I'm studying Economics, I don't really need my comedy to improve. I think I'm good…" Casey said starting to march off.

"Calm it down now!" Rhonda demanded as she grabbed Casey by the arms and stared into her face. "Do I need to go all Iyanla Vanzant on you?"

"Who the fuck is Iyanla Vanzant?" Casey spat, angrier over the fact that she didn't get the reference than anything else.

"Don't you watch Oprah?" Rhonda asked seriously.

"No," Casey replied just as seriously.

"Don't say that out loud to this Chicago crowd, Detroit," Rhonda responded. "She's some woman telling people how to live their lives and the housewives and gays of America can't get enough of a no nonsense black woman yelling at them to get it together. Anyway, it's just like any other crowd. If you bomb, then that's just part of upping your game for next time. You know that."

"FIVE MINUTES," a stagehand bellowed to Casey looking entirely bored of amateur night.

"You know…let's just drive to New York a few hours earlier than planned, shall we?" Casey said, starting to march away again.

Rhonda then grabbed Casey by the shoulders, made her stay put, and violently shook her. "Don't lose your nerve now! You wanted to perform your comedy bits for people and work on your material…here it is! You better get used to this baby because life ain't all candy, rainbows, and Santa Claus! It's a tough world out there and you better buckle up and prepare yourself for the ride of your life or you can get off now and keep living as nothing but a spectator for the rest of your life because the opportunity train only comes once and if you miss it, there ain't another one coming baby!"

Casey gazed at Rhonda who had a look of iron will. "What the hell was that? Some 1940s Joan Crawford/Bette Davis monologue you heard somewhere?"

"Who the hell are Joan Crawford and Bette Davis?" Rhonda responded.

Damn that Tina for making her watch all those old movies that only film buffs, old people, and gay men have seen. What other references did she have in her set that did not work for the general audience?

"Anyway," Rhonda continued, "the point still stands." Rhonda's face went back to her normal self. "Whoo…that felt good, you should shake and yell at people some time. Maybe I should that do Dmitri more often…girl, not gonna lie, that felt really good."

Casey rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you feel good, thanks for the pep talk," she said completely sarcastically.

Casey looked around at the other performers pacing backstage going through their material or just discussing to themselves about how their performances. _Gee, what a bunch of neurotics_ , Casey thought, not getting any of the irony. Casey observed how some seemed to have a false sense of success while others had a false sense of failure.

Casey looked behind the curtain and saw that crowd was eating up a performer's spoken word piece about how _The Cosby Show_ showed black kids eating peanut butter and jelly while her family grew up eating peanut butter and roaches. That seemed kind of weak and cliché to Casey but I guess people could relate or wished they could relate to seem more real. Whatever. Now she was just being mean. How could she follow that?

Casey looked out to the crowd. Luckily, even at this mid-scale venue, the spotlights were blinding and she could not make out most of the crowd. Casey knew this was a pretty big venue from scoping it out when she and Rhonda first walked in. Maybe she could pretend she did not see the hoards of people sitting and waiting to see performers crash and burn. Hopefully the audience will be too drunk to care if she sucked…wait a minute, drunks were mean.

Casey finally said, "Ok, I know these are _our_ people, but you know I usually perform for the college set…you know… _white_ people…well, not our college since those people are too scared to venture off campus and their idea of fun in the great city of Chicago was staying in the dormitory lounge while having an exuberant discussion on what would have happened if Descartes & Spinoza met Locke & Hume, and if not that, then being in the lab watching cell division while others vigorously debate the economic and social value of giving billions of American dollars to nation-states, who, presumably, do "nothing" for us because that's the kind of ivory tower we go to…but some other college kids…and I don't think this crowd will appreciate my set about having too many avocados…"

"Hell yeah they would, that shit was funny," Rhonda replied. "They might like your jokes about dating a white boy named financial analyst Dan for a year."

"Oh, about how he never wrote a joke or sang a song in his life but sure loved telling me how to write my comedy and how it needed to be more inclusive to conservatives and less offensive? That actually might work…" Casey thought.

Rhonda looked at Casey intently then smiled. The wheels are turning in Casey's head. No, Casey would not do that bit…instead she had been waiting for the right crowd to test a set she worked on all summer while staying with her sister and mother back home in Detroit. It was risky and it was kind of personal…but Casey realized…this was the crowd to test this out on.

The fear inside of Casey swept away as a new feeling of purpose and excitement took over. "I got this," Casey told Rhonda.

The crowd cheered as the spoken word performer finished and the Master-of-Ceremonies (MC) came on stage.

"How about that? That shit was real!" The MC shouted. The crowd cheered in approval.

"Ok, now we have here for you…a girl from Detroit…only twenty-one years of age, and a virgin at Cook's Kitchen…so be gentle…just the tip!"

"UGH!" both Casey and Rhonda said in response to _that_ introduction.

"We have here…Casey Austin!"

Casey was making her way towards the stage from behind the curtain as the moderate applause welcomed her.

* * *

**Earlier That Morning**

**Detroit, Michigan**

"Casey! We're leaving in 10 minutes! You better be ready!" Casey's sister Cheryl yelled out.

Casey yelled to Cheryl that she would be out the door soon. Casey then turned back to her bedroom mirror and eyed her reflection. She was fixated on her hair and traced her fingers on the double space braided buns. She was feeling self-conscious as this was the first time in a long time that she wore braids. Casey spent the past few years at the UChicago feeling pressured to find a new hairstyle that would be considered "professional". She also felt this pressure from both her mother Emmaline and sister Cheryl. This look was more fashion than professional.

Although UChicago's undergraduate program has a reputation of not caring about preparing its students for the working professional world, instead focusing on keeping its reputation as a pure liberal arts college with intellectual pursuits and rigorous academics, Casey majored in Economics and that department was more "real world"-minded than the rest of the university, as if she was already in the Booth School of Business graduate program.

Casey spent the past three years at UChicago experimenting with different hairstyles, including putting on pounds and pounds of extensions/weaves or treating her hair with tons of relaxers, trying mimic "acceptable" and "white-looking" hair as was described to her by nearly every well-intentioned but annoying mentor she came into contact with in the past three years.

She had finally settled on a high puff bun. It was simple, elegant, easy, and considered "professional", something her department advisor stressed. This hair also went well with her suits she was advised to purchase. Casey admittedly did like this style because she was able to keep her hair "natural" while still maintaining the accepted "professional" look.

However, now in her braids, after years of other people telling Casey how to wear her hair, how to dress, how to do her nails, how to do her make-up, how to speak, how to accessorize (basically don't), and what subjects to bring up in networking events, Casey had enough and started to feel rebellious. _Who came up with these "standards"?_ Casey doubted black women like her were invited to make determinations over what "professional" looked like.

"Eff it," Casey said one day. Alicia Keys made braids cool with the mainstream again, and if Alicia Keys could rock braids on the daily, then so could she. Casey, however, was more inspired by the images of the black British singers whose albums Lenni had recommended. She saw all the fun they were having with their long braids and decided she was going to have fun in her final year, and it was other people's problem if they could not accept a hairstyle that black women have been rockin' since the dawn of time and were still rockin' and will keep on rockin' till the end of time.

"Casey! Five minutes! Oh, and make sure you call Mom when we start driving to Chicago!" Cheryl bellowed.

"YES OH GREAT MASTER CHERYL!" Casey blurted in response. She could not see her, but she knew Cheryl was annoyed at her response.

Casey's newfound sense of identity coincided with the fact she finally made a decision over what she was going to do with her post-grad life. She was NOT going to focus on getting a sensible job as some sort of paper pusher a corporate office that her mother Emmaline had encouraged, or more accurately, demanded of Casey. This was what Casey herself had planned for her first two years at college.

Some time last year, Casey played with that idea and decided she needed to do something more fun with her life. She thought about applying to a graduate program and getting her Master's of Business Administration degree to buy her two more years to figure out a way out of the life that was envisioned for her.

However, last year, Casey came up with a plan. A plan that would allow her to run away…again. She had originally went against her mother's wishes and went to a school in Chicago to get away from the pressures of her family back in Detroit. That did not prove far enough. Plus, Chicago now represented nothing but an incredibly stressful and strange academic environment for Casey. She needed to escape from Chicago too. There was only one place Casey wanted to go after graduation. That was New York.

* * *

Casey sat passenger side in her sister's new 2005 Ford Freestyle. Cheryl was driving while talking to her co-worker, a subordinate, on her cellular phone. Casey wondered if that was safe, but figured that people did it all of the time. Plus, they were just driving straight on I-94 W. This saved Casey from having to converse with Cheryl for 200 miles on the Interstate.

Casey did appreciate that Cheryl took the day off from her busy schedule from her job at the accounting department at a Fortune 500 company to drive Casey back to the UChicago. Casey's final year at UChicago was starting next Monday, September 26, 2005. After spending an entire summer with her sister and mother Emmaline, Casey looked forward to going back to the school "where fun comes to die."

It was not that Casey did not enjoy spending time with her mother and sister, but they were so serious now and only reminded Casey of pressures of real life and of responsibilities. Chicago may have been a new source of stress for Casey, but it also gave her a reprieve from all that awaited her in Chicago…it gave her the ability to let loose.

Emmaline and Cheryl laid so much pressure on Casey to get a solid, dependable job at some company pushing paper because that was safe and would keep Casey from struggling in life. Casey felt that they were preparing themselves for the possibility that they may need to depend on Casey one day, and they could better depend on her if she played it safe with her career.

Some time last year, Casey discovered public relations, or PR, that was the ticket for Casey. It would appease both her mother and her sister, but would allow Casey to flex some creative muscles and do something more exciting. She had already told her mom and her sister her plans, which resulted in a weird conversation where Casey felt as if she had to defend her very practical decision and explain what public relations actually entailed.

* * *

"Ok, so what kind of job did you do this past year?" Emmaline asked.

"It's marketing, Ma," Cheryl responded. "That seems high stress, Casey."

"No, it's public relations, not marketing. Unlike marketing, people in public relations do not buy ads. We don't write stories for reporters. We do not put up billboards. We don't come up with catchy phrases to make people buy more products that they probably don't need."

"Really?" Cheryl asked. "I thought publicists promote products. It seems you're always worried about profits or whatever."

"No, we promote companies or individuals through media."

"So you get paid to plant stories for the news," Emmaline interjected.

"No no no…We get earned or free media…we get buzz going so the media will cover the companies on newspapers, websites, magazines, TV programs, and news programs. We don't control the actual content or how they cover it. We just get the energy going so people want to talk about them all day every day."

"So why don't you study business if that's your plan then?" Emmaline asked.

"Yeah, that seems more useful than calculating numbers in some room unless you plan to be an accountant like me," Cheryl said.

 _Not this again_ , Casey thought to herself. Over the past three years, she explained that there was no undergraduate program at UChicago called "Business". Most business-minded students at UChicago studied Economics, then they go to graduate school to obtain a Master's of Business Administration (MBA) at a business school. Even Grandma CeCe, Uncle Reginald, Aunt Doris, Danitra, and Jamal all said Casey was studying "business".

"Well, first, I've been an Economics major for three years now, so it would not do me good to change majors at this point in time. Also, again, there is no undergraduate business degree at UChicago, only a graduate program at their business school. Also, economics majors aren't stuck in a building adding up figures on a calculator. We study theories."

"Wait, I thought UChicago was known for their business program," Cheryl said confused. "Isn't that where that whole extreme free market economics from Ronald Reagan came from?"

"That actually came from the Economics department from Milton Friedman. There's a whole funny history about that actually regarding "The Chicago Boys" and them taking what they learned from him and Arnold Harberger back to Chile and other Latin American countries to help military dictators who ousted democratically elected socialist leaders so they could implement a free market economy, which also helped further oppress the common folk and expand income disparity making a lot of people unhappy. I mean that's my way of seeing it." Casey said getting off-tangent. "Ok, well it's not 'ha ha' funny as it is…

"Just theories? What about something practical?" Asked Emmaline interrupting Casey.

"Implementing regime change and changing the whole economic system of a country that is still in effect today isn't practical?" Casey asked astonished.

"Is that what you want to do?" Cheryl asked sarcastically.

"Ok, fine. Anyway, it is practical. It is the backbone of our economic system here and helps us learn how businesses function within this system. That gives you the knowledge to run a business in our capitalist economic system. We study the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services. That is what you need to know to work at any company selling anything."

"Ok, but how will that help you get a job?" Emmaline asked. "I caught that face young lady! I'm being serious here. How will this degree result in a real world stable job? This sounds more like entrepreneurship and in this economy…"

" _In this economy_? How controversial, Ma!" Cheryl joked. Both Emmaline and Cheryl started laughing. _What was so funny?_ Casey thought.

"We take classes like Managerial Decision Making, Marketing Management, Competitive Strategy…" Casey continued, frustrated at having to explain this. Most other students at UChicago would have had parents understand this really was the most practical degree to get there outside of the hard math and science courses.

After Casey finished her mini-lecture, Emmaline then responded, "Ok, but your hair…braids? Is that professional for the offices you want to work at?"

Casey gave a major eye roll at that.

* * *

**Back in Cheryl's Ford Freestyle.**

"What are you thinking about?" Cheryl asked as she continued onto I-94 W, entering Indiana. An hour to an hour-and-a-half was left in their drive.

Casey had not realized Cheryl was off the phone now. "I was just thinking that it's always crazy to me how Michigan City is in Indiana and not Michigan."

"That wasn't what you were thinking about," Cheryl said. "It's fine, we don't have to make conversation. We can just drive and enjoy the scenery. I'm only your big sister and who knows when we'll get to see each other again…but it's ok…we'll drive in silence."

Casey rolled her eyes as Cheryl's attempt at guilt tripping her. She was really good at this, but Casey was in no mood to take the bait. "Ok, Mom!"

Cheryl gave Casey an exaggerated look of taking offense and said, "I know we've had our disagreements in the past, but that was just mean!" resulting in a huge laugh from Casey. Cheryl smiled at her little sister, grabbed one of Casey's long braids, and then said, "They look really nice, actually. They're really cool. Enjoy your early 20s." Casey responded with a smile.

Cheryl turned the radio on and found a station playing old Motown hits. The song "Please Mr. Postman" by the Marvelettes started. Both Cheryl and Casey started bouncing to the song. They turned towards each other and started smiling broadly. Then Cheryl started singing her lungs out with Casey playing the background bits. Casey _loved_ it when Cheryl sang. Cheryl always lit up when she did. She must have inherited both her mom and dad's singing voices. Casey did not know for sure as she hardly ever actually heard her mom sing and did not remember her father at all. She just knew she was told that they were great singers who tried to make it as musicians. Casey had a nice soothing singing voice, which must have come from them as well, but it was nothing compared to the power behind Cheryl's voice. Casey thought Cheryl could have been a professional. Casey and Cheryl started grooving their bodies to the melody of the song.

Seeing Cheryl singing made Casey wonder how much of Cheryl's own dreams and ambitions had been pushed aside to do something practical and _safe_. Stability seemed to be of the utmost importance to Cheryl. Living a life with an alcoholic mother and an absent father must have put a lot of pressure on her. Casey knew did not have to deal nearly as much on her shoulders as Cheryl did.

For as long as Casey knew her, Cheryl always treated Casey as more of a second parent than an older sister. At nine-years-old, Casey resented that Cheryl was able to stay with her mom at home while Casey was shipped off to her uncle, aunt, and grandma's house in Brooklyn. During those times, Casey wished she had been seven years older than she was, just like Cheryl. It was not until years later that Casey fully understood what Cheryl had to deal with keeping the house together and caring for her mother while she was in the hospital doing a rehabilitation program for her alcoholism.

Casey moved back to Detroit over a year after she moved to Brooklyn. Just as Casey hated having to pick up and move to Brooklyn, she hated that after spending a whole school year and a half in Brooklyn making friends, becoming close with Jamal who, after some initial annoyance, took Casey on as his little sister (as did Alex, Lenni, and Tina), becoming close friends with Hector and Gaby, and getting used living in Brooklyn and being close to her Uncle Reginald, Aunt Doris, and Grandma CeCe only to have to pick up and move back to Detroit.

Then there was Ghostwriter. A part of her still did not believe he had been real. It was like some fever dream she had, or some imaginary friend she made to deal with the loneliness and homesickness she felt. Of course, the very real mysteries that she solved with the Ghostwriter team and their casual reminders of their memories of him made it clear that he had been all too real. Casey resented having to live so far away from the rest of the team as Ghostwriter bade them a goodbye and left forever. He had not bothered to wait until they were all together. He never said goodbye to her. He had no excuse for not saying goodbye to her. He had visited her in Detroit often, even into her high school years. Why didn't he say goodbye to her when he left?

She felt utterly betrayed. _I'll show him!_ Casey thought at the time. If he was going to forget her, then she was going to forget him. She vowed never to think about him again unless the team brought him up. Ghostwriter was another father figure who abandoned her. That was something she and Hector bonded over.

Luckily for Casey, the rest of the team continued to keep in contact with her and made sure she was always involved in mass emails or other communications. They always invited her over when she was in town. Hector was still one of her best friends. Gaby and her were still close, calling each other often. Jamal was still an older brother figure. Alex and Tina always treated her like a close friend. She did not know Rob well, but he had always been nice to her and they talked about writing and how to structure stories, which Casey found useful when writing her comedy.

When Casey moved back to Detroit after leaving Brooklyn, her mother made a big show of never putting her through anything like that again and how they would always be together. Casey was relieved and grateful because what 10-year-old girl would not want to never be separated from her mother ever again?

However, Casey found that with her mother's newfound sobriety came an almost uncompromising nature. She became more demanding of Casey regarding her studies. She kept pushing Casey to study harder; to not fall into the traps that she herself fell into, and treated Casey as if she in particular was vulnerable of getting side tracked by a man or vice just as she had. Casey felt compelled to stay on the track her mother had set because 1) Casey was still that little girl who wanted to be with her mother and doing what she wanted was a way to replicate that closeness, and 2) she wanted to please her mother because she felt it would help her stay sober. That was why her going into public relations was the most open act of rebellion Casey gave her.

Being back also gave Casey real insecurity as she was never sure when her mother would "get sick" again and Casey would be shipped back out to Brooklyn having to start anew. It happened twice since Casey came back; once when Casey was in middle school, to which neither Cheryl, Casey, or Emmaline told the family back in Brooklyn about, and another time during Casey's senior year of high school. The second time required another hospital stay. The only reason they ended up telling Grandma Cece, Uncle Reginald, Aunt Doris, Jamal, and Danitra was because they were coming to Casey's graduation and could not explain away Casey's mom's absence. Her mom had missed Casey's high school graduation.

Going through it both times when Casey was older, Casey realized just how much Cheryl had done to make sure their mom stayed sober and keep the house running. Casey saw as Cheryl made sure mortgage payments were made. When they fell behind during Emmaline's second hospital stay, it was Cheryl who pretended to be Emmaline to obtain loss mitigation documents from the bank, so they would not lose their house. Because she missed so much work, Emmaline had to accept a loan modification agreement from their bank. This of course resulted in a new agreement with an unconscionably high interest rate that they were still dealing with. They kept that from the rest of the family. The only reason Emmaline did not lose her job was due to the Detroit Department of Transportation's (DDOT) union that protected employees like Emmaline who was receiving treatment for her illness. Had Emmaline been a conductor or an operator instead of a customer service operations manager, she may not have been protected.

It's been three years since Casey's high school graduation, and Casey and Cheryl both wondered when it would happen again. Not wanting her college years to be bogged down with the responsibility of looking out for her mother, Casey needed to escape and felt Chicago was the best place to go. It was close enough to Detroit that they could drive to each other, but it was far enough away to allow Casey room to breathe. She originally wanted to go to New York, but Emmaline put her foot down saying that she could not burden her grandma, uncle, and aunt again the way Emmaline had burdened them the first time she fell off the wagon.

Emmaline also put her foot down on Chicago demanding Casey stay in Detroit, even though UChicago was one of the most prestigious universities in the United States and extremely hard to get into. The only reason Casey had been allowed to go school all the way to Chicago was because Cheryl argued on Casey's behalf. By then, Cheryl was well into her job as an accountant for her very secure company and was more secure in feeling as if she could hold down the fort and manage the finances of the house with her mother even with the new mortgage rate.

Casey was grateful. However, she was also frustrated at the fact that she would probably have this guilt hanging over her head for the rest of her life. Every time Cheryl needed Casey to drop everything she was doing to help her or her mom out with something, she felt compelled to oblige. Cheryl learned the guilt trip skills from her mom and Casey found that she could not escape it.

Casey surmised that Cheryl taking on a caretaking role for her mother and then later on Casey resulted in Cheryl putting many of her dreams and even her social life aside to keep them afloat. Casey knew that now at 28-years-old, Cheryl resigned herself to a life of always having to watch over her mother and having to keep tabs on Casey. Unlike Casey, Cheryl never moved away from home, opting to go Wayne State University, obtaining a bachelors of arts degree in Accounting. Wayne State was a great school, and luckily Cheryl made lasting friendships there, and even had a few boyfriends that unsurprisingly never lasted thanks to Emmaline's dependence on Cheryl. However, Casey wondered if Cheryl would still choose this life if she felt free from her responsibilities as her and her mother's caretaker.

This was why Casey secretly did not give up comedy even as a passing interest. It was her only outlet. In-between going to this incredibly demanding school where all of her hard work and studies only put her right in the middle-of-the-pack, which was still an accomplishment as she did not fail out as she suspected many people who knew her or grew up with her may have predicted. This made Casey think that she never made much of an impression on anybody and they always underestimated her outside the Ghostwriter team, who always made her feel seen and special. She felt like a different person with them, like she successfully recreated herself.

To be fair to the doubters, UChicago was one of the toughest universities in the country. It was sort of a shock that Casey had gotten in despite her high grades and competitive SAT scores. Unlike most universities, UChicago used a quarter system as opposed to semesters, so Casey's academic year was split into three quarters. This was great because courses were only ten short weeks as opposed to the typical fifteen-week one. This meant, one could graduate with more credits than one could in a university that used the semester system. However, it also meant Casey's holiday breaks were shorter than most other college students and the pace was a lot faster and more demanding. She was usually back in blistering freezing cold Chicago winter one week after New Years while most other college students were still vacationing.

Making use of the quarter system, Casey actually decided to major in another field-of-study, Public Policy, as if her life at UChicago was not already difficult enough. This related to her Economics studies in many ways. Studying public policy allowed Casey to study urban and global issues more in depth and to look at regional and metropolitan growth and demographic changes. This would make Casey understand the people who she would be promoting brands towards, and seek untapped markets.

She also believed in responsible marketing. She felt she could help brands focus on underserved populations. By doing so, these brands and companies could in turn raise up the importance of those populations thus empowering them. She tried to find a social service aspect in her more capitalistic path.

Still unable to let go of comedy as a vocation, Casey devoted some energy to see how her studies in Economics and Public Policy could some how lead her to the comedy scene. She still had not found the answer to that, even after discovering public relations, however.

Plus, how smart was it to go into comedy? That was never going to happen for her. How many black female comedians become huge names? Sure there were the Original Queens of Comedy (Laura Hayes, Adele Givens, Sommore, and Mo'Nique), Wanda Sykes, Luenell, Sheryl Underwood, the cast of Living Single, and more. But it seemed to be a hard life, and many of those comedians had short-term success and then seemed to fade from the mainstream public consciousness.

That honestly did not sound that bad to Casey as those comedians were able to still work focusing on their audience, no matter how small. However, Emmaline hammered it into Casey's head that being a niche-market comedian was not a practical way to live. Emmaline knew from experience as her ex-husband and Cheryl and Casey's father was a struggling beat poet-musician and she herself attempted a career as a singer. He disappeared when Casey was around three-years-old and she had never seen or heard from him since.

Emmaline later found a more grounded like transportation like her brother Reginald. She told Casey that she knew that performance-artist culture all too well as she tried to make it as a singer in the local Detroit scene with their father. She simply saw sensitive, creative people on the street wasting away as their talents were never fully realized or appreciated. She also said being a part of that life drove her to drink. Emmaline knew the comedian culture was no different. Sure they told jokes, but so many comedians lived hard lifestyles full of substance abuse and depression. She did not want Casey following in those footsteps.

Casey felt her mother did have a point. It was a hard life and did lead many to substance abuse and even death. She saw the way Lenni and Rob struggled at times to make a living or even if the money came, how they always had to keep their name recognition up so that interest in them would not die down. It was a lot of pressure to sell yourself and your work. Casey was not convinced she had that in her. Still, maybe comedy could still be a hobby.

Focusing her energies on PR now, maybe one day, she could do PR for Lenni and Rob. Maybe she could do PR for Tina with her films as well. Did Jamal need to promote any of his scientific publications? There were a lot of scientifically ignorant people out there. In fact, it would not surprise Casey if people started believing that the Earth was flat given how they viewed climate change or evolution. The science community needed all the help it could get.

Still even with her new found focus on PR, Casey never truly let go of comedy. Casey would watch countless videos of stand-up comedians. She would watch sketch comedy shows on both Comedy Central and the Independent Film Channel (IFC). She admired Debra Wilson's Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey impersonations on _MadTv_ (way better than _SNL_ she thought). She bought bootleg DVDs of _In Living Color_ from eBay and watched them religiously.

Casey tastes in comedy reflected the fact that her favorite kinds humor were the ones that commented on every day situations people could relate to, which also included pointed social and political commentary. Many of Casey's fellow classmates would complain that comedy was too political these days and it should be more accessible to the masses. To that, Casey would sarcastically thank "financial analyst Dan" for his insight into what actual good comedy was. According to Casey, the early-to-mid 2000s were so fucked up with so many ridiculous things happening that comedy HAD to reflect that.

Now Casey did agree with "financial analyst Dan" that possibly comedy needed to be more sophisticated and less preachy to be artful. But otherwise, if comedy did not comment on the times, then there would be no George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, and certainly no Dave Chappelle who was a favorite of "financial analyst Dan's" though she suspected he probably laughed at Chappelle's comical and satirical depictions of black figures a little too loudly.

It should be mentioned that "financial advisor Dan" was her ex-boyfriend. She thought the idea of dating an economically conservative man who graduated from the UChicago Booth School of Business was appealing because the Paula Abdul song "Opposites Attract" played a much bigger part in shaping Casey's ideas of a future partner than she liked to admit. Casey would wonder why she dated him for a year. He really wasn't all bad. He was handsome and nice to her when he wasn't being condescending. Sure he loved money, but who doesn't?

Ok, he may have voted for Voldemort and ignored the how his policies promoted poverty, racism, homophobia, anti-intellectualism, and boosted the military industrial complex and war and suffering-for-profit, but he always excused it by saying his reasons were purely fiscal. Sure, ignore racism, imperialism, income disparity, sexism, and homophobia…or any sort of civil rights and human rights violations if your reason is that you're just greedy. That makes it OK!

Like Gaby, Casey wanted to take in as much knowledge as possible. However, Casey's purpose was to reinstitute them into comedy bits. Casey loved how humor really was the most pointed and harsh social criticism one could provide. And when people are admiring at how funny you made your point, there was not much in the way of criticism or comebacks one could use against you.

She watched videos of Hector's debates during his undergraduate time at Stony Brook University to see how people handled counter-arguments and criticism, but she just felt it was a lot of talking in circles and deflecting when really, a one-line humorous but on-point sucker punch would better shut up the other person. Hector responded that if she thought debate competitions did a lot of deflecting (where it was discouraged and teams lost points for doing that) then she needed to watch actual political "debates". Hector said they were nothing more than dog and pony shows to promote a politician.

Casey knew Hector had meant to disparage those political debates, but Casey ended up admiring them instead. The public figures were just utilizing public relations. These "debates" are never about substantive arguments. No, they were all about selling oneself and getting people familiar with their name and brand. That is how one creates longevity in their career. Some of those politicians were masterful at connecting with their constituents no matter what the "smart" talking heads and analyzers would try to say afterwards. No amount of yapping you do can really tell a viewing audience how they saw someone promoting themselves.

Clearly self-promotion was the future. Casey could foresee another website just taking what MySpace and Friendster were doing now and creating a medium used solely for self-promotion. She imagined a platform where people will just take it upon themselves to market whatever it is they wanted to market. Then they could create buzz that will make people not in their industries talking about them and garner even bigger followings, even from people one would not think would be interested. This is circling back to Casey's idea of brands promoting to people who they often ignored. By promoting to them, you are giving them consumer/purchasing power. This then turns into real power and they could be taken seriously. This line of thinking was how Casey kept herself motivated to continue studying Economics and Public Policy.

All of that is not to say Casey's style of comedy would be too serious. She also loved the ridiculous and the silly. She watched _Monty Python's The Life of Brian_ and other old British comedy videos religiously as well. _Absolutely Fabulous_ with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley was a favorite of Hector and Casey's as was _Strangers with Candy_ with Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, and Paul Dinello. She just loved the absurd and how silly humor could take the edge off of anything and still have a point-of-view. All comedy had a point-of-view. She even learned to play the ukulele on the side after watching a video of Tiny Tim and thinking it was the funniest thing she ever saw. She became proficient at it and started writing comedy songs on it.

* * *

Back in the car, Casey saw that they had now entered Illinois.

"Well, Thelma, we crossed state lines, it's too late to go back now," Cheryl joked.

Casey smiled, but why was she Thelma? She wanted to be Louise.

Casey was getting nervous about starting her final year. UChicago was certainly an environment; one that Casey had not truly prepared for in more ways than one. Thinking about upon her decision to attend this prestigious school, Casey wondered if she truly made the right choice. Sure the degree she received was worth it, but man the past three years were certainly an "experience". In fact, it may have negatively affected her view of Chicago forever.

It was Casey's love of comedy that made her decide to go to UChicago. UChicago's reputation of being this intense, intellectual, and socially deficient student-consisting institution located in a dangerous spot of Chicago intrigued Casey. She turned down Northwestern University where her academic advisors thought may have been a better fit for her since it had a similar academic reputation as UChicago, but it was located in the best neighborhoods of Chicago and had a more fun environment since Casey had a fun personality. However, Casey mistook that for them saying she would not fit in with the more insular "nerd" and "intellectual" culture of UChicago, and she wanted to prove them wrong. Plus, all the descriptions she read online by actual alums made UChicago sound like this totally hilarious and surreal place with weird students that she had to experience it for herself.

Sure enough, those alums did not lie, and her advisors may have been truly warning her to choose Northwestern instead. It certainly was not for everyone. UChicago was not a party school by any means. It was not a sports school either. The students were not artsy like at NYU. But neither were they jocky, preppy, or any other conventional student archetype, which did not help Casey's comedy at all, although she did not want to rely on such dated stereotypes. However, UChicago's student body had been described as having deficient social skills, which did help her comedy. It was most likely due to UChicago's emphasis on intellectual prowess and focus on the liberal arts rather than "practical subjects". In other words, UChicago did not exist to prepare students for the "real world".

And yet because of that, the student body had this swelling sense of pride about how poorly rounded and socially inept they were. It some times resulted in great self-deprecating humor although Casey wondered if this was genuinely healthy. That said, this self-deprecating humor allowed Casey to work on her witticisms and add more intellectual heft to her humor. She also learned to appreciate people for their unique strengths even if society-at-large may not have valued it. Her work with the Ghostwriter team helped give her an empathetic streak.

UChicago was unlike NYU or Columbia where the city of New York was the campus. UChicago was a true campus in every sense of the word and students had to make an effort if they wanted to explore the city of Chicago itself. Casey was initially taken aback about her fellow students' lack of curiosity of the actual vibrant and culturally rich city surrounding their insular world. However, she forgot that most of them did not come from Detroit the way she had come from.

UChicago was located in Hyde Park on the South Side of Chicago in a neighborhood so dangerous that both city of Chicago police and UChicago campus police patrolled it. The tastiest fried chicken place was Harold's Chicken Shack that is famous for its rotating bulletproof revolving window so you can exchange money for chicken. Sure you can some times hear gunfire outside your window and you put your life into your own hands when you cross the midway or use the local El stop. However, people say the same thing about the University of Southern California and Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut.

"Excited to be back?" Cheryl asked smiling.

"As excited as I can be," Casey responded.

"That's a response," Cheryl responded with a worried look on her face.

"No, I am. I just have to mentally prepare myself for it."

"It's almost over," Cheryl said, hoping to give Casey some reassurance. "Then after you graduate, you can come back to Detroit and go back to living your _real_ life."

Cheryl beamed at the thought of Casey moving back to Detroit. This gave Casey a sinking feeling of guilt. She had no intention of returning to Detroit. She wanted to go where she had always intended to return. New York. She had a plan to get back there and it involved public relations.

Brainstorming ways she could go back to New York but only in way she felt would be personally fulfilling as opposed to Emmaline's plan for her, Casey decided to intern at various places in the more unsavory locations of Chicago's Southside because Casey was not afraid of going there. She felt it was not very different from Detroit. She figured going this route would help her make connections with people who may have connections with people in New York without having to deal with the competition bigger companies had.

Sure enough, working at these often-ignored firms by UChicago students put her in the good graces of many important people. Consequently, they told her to contact them if she needed any references or leads for jobs.

Casey figured out her next step during one of her more advanced classes. A professor spoke about new technology that was coming out; including the rumors of a new technology Apple was working on called the iPod Touch where people could download video games and other things on their iPod. It basically would allow people to have an even more mobile laptop. There was even a rumor that they were making a phone version of that. Having a phone that works like a laptop meant you will always be connected to the Web.

She and her fellow students discussed the implications of such a technology and they all agreed it was going to change the game. They knew that this whole new social media thing starting with MySpace and Friendster would continue once Facebook opened up to the public. They knew this was going to explode one day and there will be huge amount of companies and products that will be invented. Then these social media platforms would be fertile ground for advertisement, and for buzz to be created and spread by users on the Internet. Direct access to consumers and a way to influence their tastes! All these new companies that would take advantage will be like the Internet bubble before it burst.

While some of her more adventurous fellow students who she discussed this with decided to try to get work for start up companies developing new technologies on the business/finance side, Casey decided to look at the more creative and promotion side of things. She combined this news with her established ideas of how self-promotion was the future. People were already promoting themselves on MySpace. People are starting to put the power into their own hands, and Casey knew the firms getting the most work in the next ten years or so will be the ones who are not ignoring these people and will offer them help to promote themselves. Hell, that new YouTube thing was a goldmine in the making. People can make their own videos and millions of people around the world will watch? Talk about endless opportunities for a publicist.

She applied for a part-time job aimed at college students at a public relations firm in Chicago that focused on branding for local artists in the Southside. It was the type of firm that many of her fellow business-minded economics majors would not apply at because they would be too scared to work in the Southside of Chicago. Casey was from Detroit and was not scared at all. Once hired, she found a firm full of strong black women who dressed anyway they wanted, so long as it looked good, and whose clients were even stronger black women who stayed true to their identities. Casey found a way to bridge her business-minded goals with her personal fulfillment to do something fun and entertaining.

Casey did not have the foresight to imagine things like Twitter, Snapchat, the now defunct Vine, or a million other apps people use on the daily that some of her fellow classmates may have, but she knew something was coming and she knew her job was to take something someone already had the foresight to create and think of ways to get people talking about it. That was something Casey knew she could do in her sleep.

Casey Austin loved finding common ground with people. That's why comedy worked so well for her. She found people could laugh at the same things, so long as her comedy was funny enough. All she had to do was find the common ground. Finding that common ground was how she was able to befriend both the more business-minded and outgoing Economics students and the allegedly "socially-deficient" and "nerdy" students from both the Economics department and other departments. She really loved taking what we know about a person and getting them shine with what we know about them. She really just wanted everyone she met to enjoy themselves and have a good laugh.

In a way, PR was a way to do that. Everyone uses products. Everyone has heard of companies or celebrities. Everybody loved paying attention to such things and be on the ball of culture. By getting people of all kinds talking about the same thing, it showed how similar we all are. People, no matter what type or how annoying or even evil they are, are ultimately the same deep down. That was something Casey believed in.

Using all of her connections from her work experiences and using her knowledge from her classes regarding new opportunities opening up through technology, Casey started asking around for up-and-coming PR firms that would take a chance on non-traditional online companies or individuals looking to sell a product or a persona online and would hire a fresh UChicago graduate.

From the responses she received from her former employers, things were looking positive and a few companies told her to send them her resume and transcript once it was closer to graduation next May. It was becoming clearer to her that they just wanted to make sure she graduated before extending an offer. Like Casey, most of the people in those firms appreciated people who thought outside the box, who had a jovial personality, and who seemed more socially conscious and aware. They said many resumes they received were impressive but they seem to lack that "real world" flavor Casey gave them or her personality.

Looking at Cheryl who was imagining Casey back in Detroit after graduation and taking some sort of safe and dependable job despite her representations to the contrary, Casey knew that she should continue to keep this from Cheryl and Emmaline until she had a firm offer. She figured once she actually received a job offer, she would deal with telling them she was moving back to New York. She was already preparing herself for the guilt trips that were to come.

Casey and Cheryl reached the parking lot of the dorm at the Max Palevsky Residential Commons. Casey's excitement and sense of home grew. This was the dorm Casey stayed in last year and it truly was one of the best dorms in the country. Looking around the campus, Casey was reminded just how truly beautiful UChicago was, at least before that unforgiving and freezing winter wind came along.

Casey and Cheryl had to make multiple trips moving her belongings to her new suite. Casey was happy to have her own bedroom and bathroom. She was also happy over the fact that she only shared this suite with Rhonda.

After Casey and Cheryl unpacked all of her belongings, Casey and Cheryl rested on the dorm's couch.

"Hey, do you want to stay and have dinner?" Casey asked. "My treat!"

"Your treat? You're a college student, you shouldn't be spending money like that," Cheryl replied.

Casey frowned. She wanted to treat Cheryl to a meal as a thank you and not say good-bye so soon.

"I should actually get back," Cheryl said getting up from the couch. "It's a five hour drive back, and I want to get to bed in time for work tomorrow."

Casey frowned again.

"Here," Cheryl said reaching into her purse. "Treat yourself and some friends to dinner tonight."

Casey eyed the five $100 bills.

"Ok, a few meals," Cheryl said, "don't spend it all in once place.

Casey started to protest before Cheryl waved her off, saying to pay her back, just work and study hard, and made her promise that if she needed more money to eat properly or anything to just let her know.

Casey and Cheryl hugged before Cheryl rushed out to leave. _She seemed to be in a real hurry_ , Casey thought.

Casey took stock in her room and was visualizing how she wanted to set everything up when she heard a familiar voice yell out to her.

"Casey!"

"Rhonda!" Casey yelled back.

"We still on for tonight?" Rhonda asked playfully.

"Um, of course!" Casey replied knowing Rhonda knew the answer to that.

"By the way, you'll love the venue I got for you tonight to perform in," Rhonda said.

"I'm glad. I hope it's more than just a few hipsters sipping coffee," Casey responded.

"Oh, it is," Rhonda answered. "By the way, you'll be on at 9:15 pm so we have plenty of time to eat and just soak up the city a bit."

"9:15 pm? That's kind of early."

Rhonda was the only person Casey trusted to bring along to comedy clubs. Although she had a bit of a reputation of being funny among her classmates, Casey never told anyone else she some times moonlighted as a stand-up comedian. They chose bars in areas where she was sure her classmates would not attend and at times when she knew her classmates would not be out. She did see college age students in some crowds but had yet to recognize any of her actual classmates.

Also, Rhonda had a van, so she and Casey were easily able to drive wherever they wanted. When they were feeling particularly sorry for a classmate or a few, they'd offer to drive them away from the campus to a nice spot in Chicago to have a breather and non-campus food just for variety's sake.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" asked Rhonda pretending she did not know the answer.

"Oh, you know what we're going to do for dinner." Casey replied.

Sitting at Giordano's, Casey and Rhonda salivated waiting for the stuffed deep dish pizza they had ordered.

Since sophomore year, Rhonda and Casey made it their move-in day ritual to share a huge Chicago deep-dish pizza that they could never finish because unlike NYC, where you can get a $1 slice or a $3 two slice and a soda deal, the Chicago deep-dish pizza was never sold by the slice. You have to buy a whole pie. They always brought it back to the dorms and shared with whoever was around and awake near their suite. In Casey's mind, those things were not actually pizzas but this carb concoction. The crust was very deep and the pie itself was extremely thick with the toppings assembled upside down where the crust covered with cheese followed by the toppings and finished with an uncooked sauce on top. The whole thing weighed about four pounds.

Regarding pizza, one thing that irked Casey was when people learned that she lived in Brooklyn for a while and visited often, they would ask her how "New York" or "Brooklyn" pizza compared to Chicago's. In Casey's mind, there was no such thing as "New York" pizza. "New York" pizza was the real deal. It was just pizza, and everything else in the country was just a variation of what was created in New York, including her beloved Detroit with its rectangle-shaped pizza with caramelized cheese on top. She agreed with Jon Stewart, who said Chicago's deep dish was "not pizza. This [was] tomato soup in a bread bowl."

However, eating Chicago deep-dish pizza made her feel like she was back in Chicago and ready to get back into the Chicago state of mind, so having a deep dish pizza was Casey's way of welcoming Chicago back into her life. That was fitting as most Chicago locals only ate deep-dish pizza when they were in a particular mood for it while mostly eating "regular" pizza when they just wanted pizza.

After finishing what they could, Rhonda said, "I can't believe school is starting so soon. I wish I could take one more trip before it starts. I am already dreading the winter."

"Yeah, I didn't get to go anywhere this summer except to Brooklyn for a week. I wish I could go to Brooklyn this weekend at least," Casey answered.

"Wait, you went to Brooklyn this summer and that's where you'd choose to go if we could take a trip now?" Rhonda asked.

"It's not because of Brooklyn, it's because of my friends there. My friend Tina is throwing a dinner party this Friday. At first I obviously was not going to take a weekend trip right before school starts just for that, but I received a phone call from my cousin Jamal asking me if I could make the dinner party and stay another day."

"What for?" asked Rhonda.

After Casey explained why she wanted to go to Brooklyn this weekend, Rhonda simply said, "If you pay for the gas, I'll take you there. It's what? A ten to twelve hour drive? We can drive tomorrow morning and take the scenic route. I actually have some extra money from my job this summer, so we can stay at some motels or something."

Casey beamed and rushed out from her seat to hug Rhonda who simply laughed at Casey's enthusiasm. It was clear Casey had really wanted to go to Brooklyn.

Casey was going to New York for the weekend and reuniting with the Ghostwriter team. She called her Grandma CeCe to ask if she and Rhonda could stay over that weekend, to which Grandma CeCe excitedly and happily and simply said, "Of course!" before asking her what meals Casey and Rhonda would like for her to make while she was there.

* * *

**Back to That Evening**

Back at Cook's Kitchen.

Casey walked towards the stage after the MC's introduction. In that short walk, Casey was mentally scrambling the final touches of the set she just committed herself to performing for this crowd. No jokes about having too many avocados or anything like that. No, she was going to try something a bit more real.

It took Casey a hot minute to adapt to the bright spotlight on her. She tried to see if she could make out any faces, but realized she could only see the people in the first few tables and standing in the first few rows. _Ok, here it goes._

"What up Chicago!"

The crowd gave Casey an encouraging response back. _Ok good, a supportive audience…for now._

"How many times did you all hear that tonight? I'm sorry I didn't start out with anything more original. Like I don't know…I have a problem…I bought too many damn avocados or something."

Some members in the crowd gave her some mild laughter while others laughed a bit harder at the intentionally awkward delivery Casey gave.

"Anyway, how are you guys really doing? I mean for real? I'm going to act like Iyanla Vanzant up in here and ask you all to get real with me."

The crowd seemed to laugh at the Iyanla Vanzant reference.

Feeling encouraged, Casey continued, "So I know we just met, but I know a lot of you are already thinking…damn, this tiny ass black girl talks like a white girl!" Casey flipped her braids like Cher from _Clueless_ and continued, "I mean I get it. I do. But I swear I'm from Detroit."

The crowd erupted at that.

"No, you see I have to talk like this because I currently live in a really rough place. Over there, if you don't talk like this then you just won't make it. It's tough. I mean **tough**. I know you all know tough around here. Who here is from Southside?"

There were a lot of whoops in response.

"Oh! I hear a lot of whoops. Come on, let's be real here. Are you really from Southside or are you just trying to act hard?

Well, I'm not from Southside, which you already know because I swore to you that I'm from Detroit. But I live there now.

Yeah…that's right. I have to talk this now because I live in Southside." Casey said doing her most prep girl impression garnering even more laughs.

"Why are you looking at me like that? I do live there! I pass up all the gunshots and eat at the fried chicken place that has those bulletproof revolving windows where they take your cash and you get fried chicken. That's right…I live in the toughest place in the Southside. I live at the University of Chicago!"

The crowd erupted in laugher.

"What? It's tough man! Shit goes down there…like my grade point average."

Casey did her best to gauge the laughter level, but she was now so focused on her performance that she was in full performance mode now, drowning out the extra noise and only selectively focusing on what she wanted to focus on in the crowd.

"It's rough, man. I mean _it's a place where FUN goes to DIE_. Yeah…it's our school motto.

I mean being there makes you realize that there was a level of hell that Dante forgot. And I'm from Detroit where our pizza comes with bullets as toppings, so you know what I'm saying is real.

Geez, why are you guys laughing? I'm being real. I know, I know…us students in our ivory towers, we don't know what hard is. We never faced hardship in the real world. Well fuck that noise. I mean sheet, you think it's easy there? If it was easy, it'd be my mom!

Sorry…what I meant was it'd be as easy as the way that 40 ounce went down my mom's throat."

Despite drowning out the noise as much as she could, she heard some very audible gasps within the laughter coming from the audience. Casey soldiered on.

"Some said she had a drinking problem…but the way she acted when she was sober, I'd say the only problem was that she didn't have a drink.

Anyway, it wasn't all bad. I gained some very useful life skills. I could get a job as a bartender at any bar in Detroit by the time I was 12. I had to move to Illinois though for job opportunities…I mean if you've ever been to Michigan after the 1980s, then you know being a kid and making a Bloody Mary for adults that isn't such a special skill to have any more. Flint, Michigan, what?!

You guys remember that Paula Cole song talkin' about where have all the cowboys gone? Ok, I know this club is full of brothas and sistahs here, but don't act like you don't know. We're among fam, we can admit to each other we listen to that white shit. It's ok. I'm not going to tell nobody. This here is a safe space…so get down with Tom Jones and Barry Manilow if you want.

Anyway, that Paula Cole was singing about her cowboy driving that 66 Chevy…and then beatin' her or some shit. You know how those white women singers with their guitars take every day human problems and turn them into four-hour self-centered dramas. For us, we just call it 1 pm on a Tuesday and go back to work.

They think they have it hard, try getting whipped. And I don't mean that fun S&M kind either. Oh you know what I'm talking about…I mean specifically you, the one in that leopard print low-cut shirt and the 4-inch fingernails. Yeah you're laughing because you're thinking about what you're going to be doing tonight. Girl, I feel that…literally three nights a week! Wuh-Pssh! Yeah, those professors in the Economics Department don't play. I'm telling you, University of Chicago is rough!

Anyway back to Paula Cole…the subject you all up in here can't wait for me to go back to. I see you all looking eager wondering when I'm going to go back to Paula Cole again. Anyway, I mean she think she got problems? All of us in Detroit are asking where have all the cowboys with their 66 Chevys have gone too – ain't nobody buying Chevys and Fords anymore.

Now don't feel bad if you are all out there driving your Toyotas, Hondas, Hyundai's, Nissans, Mitisubishis, Mazdas, BMWs, Mercedes, Ferraris…whatever. I mean yeah you caused the problem, but it's alright. It's done. Can't fix it. I mean if you decide to buy them now, then Jesus Cristo from Mexico will be thanking you, not us.

Or Arigato Mr. Roboto right in Motor City – ain't none of those cars are being built by human hands anymore in America. It's ok though…I've grew up with those people and let me tell you, I wouldn't buy a car built by them either…consider outsourcing a public service.

What? Oh come on. I didn't mean it alright. It's just that only in America would we keep selling Ford Pintos that literally exploded in a fireball and scorched and killed people just because it was cheaper to pay off the complainants in lawsuits than it was to actually recall them and save people's lives. That's so American.

Don't believe me? Look it up.

I know all about that. I'm studying Economics at the University of Chicago. Like I said, we're hardcore gangsta man. We invented the Chicago Boys! People from Chile came to UChicago and learned all kinds of free market economic theories like trickle down economics, deregulation, decentralization, and all that crap, you know, the ones Bush and Cheney love?

Anyway those Chicago Boys went back to Chile and overthrew a democratically-elected socialist leader and installed a violent, oppressive military dictatorship that took away all sorts of people's civil rights…all because they fell in love with some nerd who taught there named Milton Friedman. Milton. Friedman. Now you gonna tell me we don't go hard at University of Mother Fuckin' Chicago!

Anyway, back to my mom. My mom drank because my dad had clinical depression and abandoned us…I mean he wasn't diagnosed or anything. I diagnosed him because it couldn't just be that he didn't love us…."

But it was fine…I had another father figure growing up. He was really old. He loved children. What? In fact all of his friends were children…What? Anyway…he told us to keep our friendship a secret…what? Anyway, he ended up leaving me once I got older…What? Why are you guys looking at me like that and laughing all weird like that?

Anyway, that old man was the most meaningful relationship I ever had with a man."

Casey felt truly alive with the microphone in her hand. She continued on for another minute closing out with an anecdote about how her mother missed her high school graduation because she had a date with Captain Morgan.

Leaving the stage, Casey heard the MC.

"Casey Austin from the University of Fucking Chicago everybody! We hope to see her back soon!"

Casey knew some of her paragraphs were too long, but she felt she leveled up in her comedy. All those laughs felt great. She could not wait to try this material out in front of other crowds.

"Girl, you were so good!" Rhonda exclaimed hugging Casey.

Casey felt a little out-of-breath, when other performers came to introduce themselves to her and congratulated her on a great first set at Cook's Kitchen. The MC came backstage after he finished introducing the next performer and offered Casey a chance to audition for their Saturday night comedy line-up that happened on every Saturday a musical performance was not booked.

Reeling all of this in, Casey overheard a commotion coming from the side entrance of the curtain.

"I'm her sister, I need to talk to her!"

Casey recognized that voice immediately.

"Uh…oh," Rhonda said.

"Casey Austin!" screamed Cheryl.

"What are you doing here?" Casey asked, whispering hoping Cheryl would get the hint to lower her voice too.

Cheryl looked around noticing all the other performers and the MC looking at her, simply said, "Casey, come with me outside."

* * *

Casey and Cheryl stood outside the back entrance of Cook's Kitchen.

"Is this what you're doing on school nights instead of studying?" Cheryl finally said.

"Not all school nights. It's just a hobby of mine. College students can still have hobbies, you know?"

Cheryl stood there silently leaning on the brick exterior of the building.

"How dare you go up there and make fun of Mom!" Cheryl finally yelled. "After all she's been through!"

"I'm not," Casey responded.

"Really? Then you have some other mom you were making fun of up there?

"It's not actually Mom, it's an exaggerated version of Mom. Like Margaret Cho doing her mom with a thick accent and working at the gay porn section at their family's bookstore. I mean come on…Mom never drank 40 ounces," Casey said defensively.

"That's true, it was just wine and beer," Cheryl said, bitterly laughing at herself.

"What are you doing here anyway? It's almost 10:00 pm. I thought you wanted to be back in Detroit for bedtime so you could work tomorrow."

"Don't change the subject…we're still talking about your comedy set." Cheryl said. It was clear she was considering her next words carefully. "I get it, we're in a black club so whatever we can laugh at these sort of things because we relate, but do you say these jokes in front of white people? College audiences? What kind of image of black people and Detroit are you promoting out here? I mean come on Casey, bullets on the pizza…that's a tired image of Detroit."

"No! When I perform for a college or white crowd, I change it to Martinis. Some times Old-Fashioned or Manhattans if it's older white people. And just saying the word Detroit makes white people laugh or look concerned or both."

"Casey!"

"I'm just kidding. This was the first time I performed that set in front of anyone." Casey said reassuring her sister.

Cheryl and Casey went back to silently standing side-by-side.

"But…" Casey continued, "I want to work on that sort of comedy more - something more real; more personal. I think it'll connect with people more and I'm not going to lie, it felt really good! I want to explore that side of myself through comedy."

Cheryl considered Casey for a moment. Casey felt Cheryl's eyes on her and it seemed as thought she was burning a hole inside her soul.

"How long have you been holding that in?" Cheryl asked.

"Holding what in?"

"You're anger towards Mom…Dad…"

That was the first time Cheryl had brought their Dad up to Casey in years. The subject of their father had been a sore point for both Emmaline and Cheryl. Unlike Casey, Cheryl had fully formed memories of their father as he abandoned the family when Cheryl was ten-years-old.

"Mom…for a while. For a lot of things I guess. For her sending me out to Brooklyn. I mean I know why she had to, but still. Then for falling off the wagon, missing my high school graduation, for being so strict and demanding with me…as for Dad…I don't know. I almost never think about him. I don't even remember him."

Casey looked at Cheryl who seemed lost in her thoughts. Cheryl did not shed a single tear at the mention of her father. She wondered why. Cheryl should have been emotionally distraught over her father abandoning her at such a tender age and then forcing Cheryl to take care of the entire household and her mother by herself.

Cheryl turned to Casey and offered a soft smile. "That's our fault…me and Mom. We should talk about Dad more often. Before he left, he really was a good father; well as good as he was capable of being. He really loved us. He wasn't responsible or anything, but he did his best, I know it."

"Do you have any idea of where he is now?" Casey asked.

"I don't. I tried looking him up, but it started upsetting me too much when I couldn't find him or hit a brick wall, so I just stopped. Maybe one day we can look together." Cheryl said.

Cheryl then grabbed Casey's hand. "You don't have to hide this from me. It's ok."

Casey hugged her sister tightly. "You mean that?"

"Just don't ask me for an objective opinion about your jokes about Mom. But I can tell you when you could do better."

Just then Casey heard a man call Cheryl's name.

Casey quickly turned and saw a 6'4, dark-skinned, incredibly handsome drink of a man.

Casey turned around and looked at Cheryl who clearly was telling the man to turn around. It was too late.

Casey went up to the man and forced him to shake her hand. "Hi, how are you? I'm Casey, Cheryl's sister. You might remember me from the comedy set I just performed."

The man smiled brightly at Casey. "Yes, I know. I've heard a lot about you. Great set! You're a natural up there!"

Casey turned to face Cheryl who was red in embarrassment.

"My name is Gerald, nice to _finally_ meet you." The man answered.

"And how do you know my sister?" Casey asked.

"He's a frien…" Cheryl began.

"I'm her boyfriend," Gerald interrupted.

Both Casey and Cheryl looked wide-eyed at Gerald. Casey then turned to Cheryl realizing Cheryl was taken by surprised by this news as Casey was.

"So that's why I'm still in Chicago," Cheryl answered. "I was here on a date with Gerald and he thought taking me to amateur night at this club would be a nice follow-up to dinner."

"That's why you were in such a rush to leave me!" Casey said sounding betrayed. "How long have you been dating?"

"Just a few months," Cheryl said.

"We met at the annual National Association of Black Accountants – Chicago chapter gala a few months ago," Gerald answered.

"What were you doing at a gala in Chicago?" Casey asked.

"I was invited by a co-worker who was a member since she worked at the Chicago office before transferring to Detroit, and then I met Gerald."

"Are you going to move to Chicago?!" Casey asked.

Both Cheryl and Gerald were taken aback by this question seeming like that question brought up other questions that were a few steps too early.

Before they could answer, Casey continued, "Long distance is tough, how are you managing?"

"Casey, this is something Gerald and I need to discuss ourselves. You're jumping the gun here. Gerald and I are taking it slow. Plus, we talk every night over the phone and try to see each other at least twice a month."

"But I don't remember you taking any extended weekends this past summer when I was around," Casey said.

"Well, we were able to spend a whole week together when you were in Brooklyn, and those trips and business dinners with… hey I don't have to explain myself to you. Plus you being home did cramp my style, ok?"

Casey laughed. "Alright, alright, it's clear there's a lot of logistical stuff you two need to deal with, so I'll leave you to your date. I guess we'll talk later, right Cheryl?"

Cheryl nodded.

"Wait, does Mom know?" Casey asked.

"Uhh...about that…" Cheryl responded.

"How do you go on these weekend excursions without Mom suspecting?"

"Mom has stopped giving me grief once I got my CPA license, and since I help pay the mortgage, she can't really tell me what to do. Also, I think she's been keeping herself busy with her boyfriend."

"Mom has a boyfriend?!"

"Whoops…I mean no, not officially, but she's starting to see someone. She just didn't want you to know until she was more serious with him. She doesn't want to introduce him to her kids too early."

"We're not 10-years-old!" Casey exclaimed.

"Technically, I'm not supposed to know either, but I overheard her once and…" Cheryl continued.

"Ok, I think we should just talk about this later," Casey said, not realizing the idea of her Mom dating was weirding her out.

"Why are you freaking out? Mom's dated plenty of men before," Cheryl said.

"She did?!" Casey answered. No, it could not be true. She never saw her Mom date anyone in her life. Casey now realized how unnatural and probably unrealistic that was. "I guess she kept them from me as to…"

"Not introduce men to her kids too early, you know it." Cheryl finished.

Probably finally feeling that it was safe and wanting to spare Gerald any more of this overly dramatic conversation revolving around an every day human occurrence, Rhonda came from out nowhere interrupting. "Hey Cheryl," she said greeting her. She quickly shook Gerald's hand while admiring him, "Anyway, so Casey…if we want to make it to New York while enjoying the sights along the way, we should get packing now, and probably sleep and get up early tomorrow."

Cheryl raised an eyebrow at Casey who simply responded that she would explain later.

* * *

The next morning, Casey drove off to New York, in a van with her friend. She offered to drive so that Rhonda could catch up on her sleep. Casey rolled down the windows so she could feel the air blowing her face. She thought about Cheryl and her future with Gerald. She then thought about her Mom and possibly having a boyfriend.

What was this new sensation Casey was feeling? Casey suspected it was freedom. She may have a future where she no longer needed to worry about taking care of her Mom and easing the burden off of Cheryl.

Looking ahead at the road, Casey felt some tears fall down her face. For the first time in a very long time, Casey finally felt as if she could breathe.

Get ready New York; a whole new Casey Austin is coming!


	12. Chapter 11: Everybody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Friday, September 23, 2005. The team prepares for, and goes to Alex and Tina's long-awaited party. A chapter split into 8 sections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you cannot tell by now, this one is a long one and is separated into eight parts. I was thinking about uploading each part as separate subchapters, but I decided that these parts only made sense in context of this entire narrative focusing on the individual characters' lead up to the party, and then the party itself. So, I decided to structure this chapter as a "mixtape", which is an idea I had planned for another chapter, but figured it was best to introduce this now. I also played around experimenting with shifting points-of-view even within the same section as this is the first chapter that had major character interactions. Now that I am done establishing the background for each character, I figured it was time to put the foot on the gas pedal and let the plot start unfolding.
> 
> Let me know if you guys like the structure and the way points-of-view shift. Also, please let me know what you think of the actual substance of the chapter and where the story is going for the characters. Do they sound like the characters from the television show? We have one more chapter taking place in this time period and then we're going to skip a few months.
> 
> Please review, leave a comment, a question, or concern either via the review page or via private message.

_Everybody come on, dance and sing  
_ _Everybody get up and do your thing  
_ _Everybody come on, dance and sing  
_ _Everybody get up and do your thing_

_Dance and sing, get up and do your thing  
_ _Dance and sing, get up and do your thing  
_ _Dance and sing, get up and do your thing  
_ _Dance and sing, get up and do your thing_

_I know you've been waiting (yeah)  
_ _Yeah, (I see you sittin' there) I've been watching you  
_ _(_ _Across the room) yeah (yeah)  
_ _(I've been watchin' you) I see you sittin' there by yourself (yeah)  
_ _Yeah (come on) come on (come on)_

_Everybody come on, dance and sing  
_ _Everybody get up and do your thing  
_ _Everybody come on, dance and sing  
_ _Everybody get up and do your thing_

\- Madonna

* * *

**PART 1: DUET**

_Oh Lover, hold on  
_ _Till I come back again  
_ _For these arms are growing tired,  
_ _And my tales are wearing thin_

_If you're patient I will surprise,  
_ _When you wake up I'll have come  
_

_All the anger will settle down  
_ _And we'll go do all the things we should have done_

_Yes I remember what we said  
_ _As we lay down to bed  
_ _I'll be here if you will only come back home_

_Oh lover, I'm lost  
_ _Because the road I've chosen beckons me away  
_

_Oh lover, don't you roam  
_ _Now I'm fighting words I never thought I'd say_

_But I remember what we said  
_ _As we lay down to bed  
_ _I'll forgive you oh  
_ _If you just come back home_

_Oh lover, I'm old  
_ _You'll be out there and be thinking just of me_

_And I will find you down the road  
_ _And will return back home to where we're meant to be_

_Cause I remember what we said  
_ _As we lay down to bed  
_ _We'll be back soon as we make history._

\- Rachael Yamagata and Ray Lamontagne

The harsh late morning sun-rays hit Alex's face, prompting him to wake up. He instinctively swung his arm towards Tina's side of the bed only to find an empty space. He raised his head and slowly made sense of his surroundings as he awakened into consciousness. He looked towards the bedroom entrance and saw the door was open. The sounds of Tina's film emanated from the kitchen into his bedroom. Listening to Andromeda's voice from the desktop speakers, Alex knew Tina was on the closing scene as he was familiar with the entire movie by now and even knew what Andromeda would say next.

Alex turned to the alarm clock on his bedside table and saw that it read 10:00 am, Friday, September 23, 2005. This was late for Alex. He would usually be awake at least three hours ago, but as he did not come home until around 2:00 am the previous night, Alex was finally able to enjoy close to eight hours of sleep for the first time in what felt like forever.

Alex remembered coming home and seeing Tina working on her film looking as if she had no intention of stopping. He remembered forcing her to eat a tuna and shrimp onigiri then forcing her to bed to go to sleep at around 3:00 am. Alex wondered when Tina had waken up. He still had no idea why she put pressure on herself to finish this movie by today. He knew she wanted to finish her film so they could spend their vacation together uninterrupted, but surely even if she needed a few days during his vacation to work on the film, it would have been easier for her to simply wait a few days to finish. Alex then wondered if he somehow put more pressure on her to spend their entire vacation together uninterrupted.

He then wondered if he should have planned some sort of trip for them to enjoy. Granted, this may have put more pressure on Tina to finish her film on the time she had set for herself, but she was already putting pressure on herself anyway.

Alex then remembered what he said as they laid down in bed last night.

* * *

" _Tina, I don't like that you're running yourself ragged like this…if you need to take some more days to finish your movie, it'll be ok…"_

" _No, it's ok. I really am almost done. I'm just running through it again just to make sure I don't miss anything. I know they will review it again after I submit it to make sure the final product is 'clean', but you know me, I don't want to make more work for anyone else." Tina interrupted_

" _Are you sure? You're writing an awful lot notes and it looks like you keep adding stuff…"_

" _Oh, I'm just trying out different timings for the music cues and drafts of the title cards to make them read easier, you know how I can overwrite sometimes…" Tina yawned._

" _Ok, well...just try to get some sleep now and wake up tomorrow and do what you can before the party. If it'll be easier we can just order pizza or something…"_

" _Pizza? I bought all that stuff, promised the team that menu, and I don't know if Rob even eats cheese anymore…" Tina said starting to nod off._

_Alex, not yet noticing Tina drifting off to sleep, continued, "I know, but we can always cook that later and that menu really was ambitious and…Tina…I hope you know it doesn't matter if you have to work during my vacation or anything so long as we get to spend it together…that's all I wanted, just to be with you. Do you hear me Em?...Tina? Tina?"_

_Alex looked down at Tina and saw she had fallen into a deep slumber in his arms. He then watched Tina as she slept. Alex's concern for Tina grew as he watched her. Ever since he asked Tina to move in with him on Monday, he started taking closer care to observe her, as he increasingly grew worried about her physical condition. She was looking a little undernourished. He wondered if she was eating properly and getting enough sleep. He then started thinking she looked a bit run down now even before this week. He had been too busy at work to properly pay attention to her as he should have, he thought._

_Watching her sleep, she finally looked more at peace. She lied so still, and the moonlight was seeping through the curtains to highlight her face. Alex caressed her cheeks and moved the loose hairs away from her face. He wanted to kiss her but feared he would wake her up. The night was still and Alex felt as though he could hear some humming…the sound of a man and a woman in harmony._

_The feeling of coming home to someone he loved provided him a feeling of family…one that he felt he would always have with Tina - ever since he met her, he told himself. He never told Tina this as he knew she would only respond that "love at first sight" did not exist. It was true actual love required work, required someone to actually know someone, and required both parties to actively participate. None of that happened at the first moment he laid eyes on Tina. But how else could he explain that intense feeling he had that Tina belonged to him and he belonged to her? Alex never thought any other word like "infatuation" properly described what he felt as it minimized his depth of feeling._

_He watched her sleep for about an hour before falling asleep himself._

* * *

Alex got up from the bed, and walked towards the kitchen. He quietly watched as Tina replayed another scene and was deep in thought about how she felt the scene worked with the flow of the rest of the film. To Alex, this did not seem that much different from the way he solved cases at the 90th Precinct. All of it was piecing together information like pieces of a puzzle and making them fit into a story that made the most sense.

After watching Tina for a few moments, Alex finally woke up from his spell to greet Tina.

"Hey _Em_."

Tina turned wide-eyed and gave her best smile to Alex. "Hi, _Anh_. I think I'm nearly finished. I'm going to run through it again and see if it works _as is_."

Alex kissed Tina on the cheek and told her to keep working as he made his way to the fridge. He cracked two eggs in a bowl and heated and filled a pan with oil. He saw Tina's head shoot up from behind the computer screen to see what he was doing, but he made a gesture to her to keep doing what she was doing.

"Alex, you should wear a shirt and some pants when you're cooking. Especially if you're using oil! Just cooking in your boxers is dangerous," Tina said.

"Shhh…" Alex said giving her his Cheshire cat smile. "I need to concentrate or I'll mess up."

Tina rolled her eyes as she went back to her film.

Alex soon presented Tina with a plate of sunny-side up eggs, some leftover white rice, and beans. He sat at the adjoining kitchen table to enjoy his own plate of food.

"Look, _Em_ , no shells this time. I did that trick you taught me about cracking the eggs into a bowl first before putting them in a pan, even if we're not whisking the eggs. I even spooned the oil to cook the egg whites on top to avoid the gooeyness."

Tina turned and smiled. "Good work, detective," she replied before going back to her movie. Alex hoped she'd grab a few mouthfuls at least while working.

After Alex finished his plate, he placed it in the sink and noticed Tina still had not touched her food. He reminded her to eat, to which she replied she would. Not wanting to press the issue, Alex then went back to the room put on some work out shorts. He knew it would be best for him to wait an hour or two before he began his work out, so Alex decided to shower and then start rearranging the furniture to provide more space for the Team to maneuver around tonight.

After starting to rearrange the furniture, Alex decided he rather work out now and will mess with the furniture later.

* * *

Tina sat on the uncomfortable "Bodega" barstool refusing to break her gaze from her professional editing software on her iMac as she transferred the final cut of her film onto the third DVD copy she was making.

She did it! Somehow, she finished her film. "Somehow" was not the right word to describe what Tina accomplished in the past thirty-six hours. After she came back from Tuan and Thuy's show Wednesday night, Tina and Alex enjoyed a very late meal and then went to bed. That was the last time Tina slept outside of a two-hour long afternoon nap and when Alex demanded she go to bed at around 3 am this morning. Tina slept for four hours and went back to finishing her film.

Tina ran her fingers through her hair and did not like what she felt. She then poked at the space under her eyes and imagined some heavy bags. She could only imagine what her reflection would show her at this moment.

As Tina waited for her film to transfer to her third DVD-ROM, she turned towards Alex, who was shirtless in his gym shorts and sounded like he was on number one hundred something of his push-ups regimen. She knew Alex would try to do at least twenty-five consecutive clapping push-ups in-between his regular ones, and the clapping sounds added a strange but fitting soundtrack to the scene. She was tempted to film Alex doing those clapping push-ups but knew he would make a fuss. She laughed to herself imagining Alex's reaction.

Suddenly the plate of rice, sunny side up eggs, and beans caught her line of sight. Tina smiled at it. It was a nice looking dish. Tina grabbed a fork and enjoyed a morsel. Eating uncooked egg yolk so far from when they were cooked may have been risky but Tina wanted Alex to know she appreciated the fact that he made breakfast. Tina had a great feeling of satisfaction eating this dish. Alex could truly cook, which should not be surprising considering he worked at the Bodega his whole life. As Tina's body responded warmly to the food, she just now realized just how hungry she was. However, she felt her body growing tired.

* * *

Alex finished his push-ups and wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead, neck, and torso when he saw that Tina was just now just eating her breakfast. He began worrying again about the way Tina ran herself ragged. He felt it was a time for him to voice his concerns. As Alex was readying himself to make his way up to Tina, his cell phone rang. It was his partner at the precinct, Detective Yvette Thomas.

"Hello?" Alex answered.

"Alex, it's Yvette."

"Yeah, I saw," Alex responded entertained by the idea that after all these years Yvette always clarified that it was she who was calling. "What's up?" Alex asked.

"Sorry for bothering you on your first day of vacation, but there's been a development in one of your cases, the grand larceny of an automobile one….

"Which one?" Alex asked truly needing clarification. In the 90th Precinct alone, there were 311 cases of grand larceny of motor vehicles in 2005 so far, and 348 cases the year prior and 353 cases in 2003. At least that was down from 416 in 2002, before Alex was a detective. At least the citywide trend of automobile thefts was now below 10,000 automobiles stolen compared to the 147,000 reported auto thefts in 1990. The trend had been decreasing now down as improved technology in new models made stealing cars less lucrative and riskier. Because of that, now only older models were being reported stolen.

"The most recent one, the 2005 Lexus RX330."

That one was unusual. That certainly was not an old model that was stolen just to take to an illegal chop shop to sell for scraps for a few hundred bucks. "Why do they need me? That case was now being handled by the Auto Crime Division."

"They are handling it, but they found something and McQuade needs you to come in to talk about what they found. I'm not sure what it is."

"During my vacation?" Alex asked half-irritated and half-intrigued.

"Alex, just come to the precinct. They're not telling me more than that. I can tell you that they caught a suspect and are interrogating him now."

Alex could not say no to a command like that, so he told Yvette he would be there in about thirty minutes and hung up.

" _Em_ , I need to go to the precinct," Alex said.

"I heard…" Tina said gathering up her DVDs. Alex could see past Tina's tired face that she looked disappointed.

"I know my vacation started, but I need to go."

"I understand," Tina said. She was hoping to hide her disappointment but she was running on a near empty tank of gas at the moment.

"I'll be back as soon as I can to move the furniture, buy ice, and a cooler, and the drinks, and help cook," Alex said quickly kissing Tina on the cheek and proceeded to dress to go to the precinct. Tina knew Alex's head was already at the precinct. He had this look of anticipation and excitement.

"You should wash your face and do your hair before you go at least," Tina said offering a small smile.

"Don't worry, I'll be back to help prepare for the party," Alex said with all the confidence in the world that Tina did not know had come from.

Once Alex exited the apartment, simply wearing a blazer, t-shirt, and slacks with his patented aviator sunglasses, Tina grabbed her materials to make her way to the studio to drop off her finished DVDs. Luckily, it was on Fulton St. in Manhattan so it was a very short train ride away. She could have mailed them, but she felt safer hand delivering the copies of her film.

Tina was readying herself to go at this moment even though she did not heed her own advice to wash her face or do her hair. Right now she did not care. She just wanted this phase of moviemaking to be done with so that her headspace could just move on to the party and then her and Alex's vacation. Her and Alex. She could not wait.

Suddenly, Tina felt the eggs she had just eaten rise back up and rushed to the toilet.

 _Oh Anh, you better come back home as soon as possible,_ Tina thought in-between her vomits during her wave of nausea.

* * *

**PART 2: SATISFACTION**

_Push me  
_ _And then just touch me  
_ _Till I can get my satisfaction  
_ _Satisfaction, satisfaction,  
_ _satisfaction, satisfaction_

\- Benny Benassi

"eeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEE…"

Lenni held a bowler hat above her head while she self-consciously kept her back, neck, and head straight. _I hope this posture is correct_ , Lenni thought. Lenni stared straight at her voice teacher, Joan. _Keep straight…keep straight…keep singing…open your throat…._

"eeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEE…" Lenni continued to sing - releasing the tension from her neck and shoulder muscles so that her throat was freer to phonate. Lenni's vocal coach Joan was playing the scales matching the notes Lenni was singing.

"Come on, Lenni, we can do better than that!" Joan exclaimed while playing her scales. "Almost there…"

"eeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEE…" Lenni continued. Lenni knew Joan was pushing her voice to open in ways it never had before. Lenni was no stranger to formal vocal training, but she resisted consistent formal voice training after graduating high school much to the disapproval of her father, Max, who insisted Lenni must keep up voice lessons. Lenni thought she could educate herself through experience, and that her past education was sufficient. Truthfully, she liked the rough-and-tumble rawness of singing and rapping and thought that it gave her sound an edge.

Nearly seven years of live performing later, at only the age of twenty-five, Lenni was feeling the pain in her voice. It all started with a growl, then a yell, then a pained and strained execution of lyrics for effect. They sounded cool to Lenni at the time. Then as Lenni's compositions and production of her songs became even more political, angrier, and was going in bold and layered directions, she put all that into her singing and rapping as well. It provided the audience a visceral and real experience, but years of that wore her voice down.

The truth was, in the past two years after her fiancé Kyle was killed on his bike when a cab driver recklessly made a right-hand turn on the Avenue of America, Lenni had done a lot of introspection of her past performances. Although she loved the sheer power and rawness of her vocal performances, she was simply not satisfied with the way her voice actually sounded. If Lenni was being perfectly honest, Lenni was unsure if she actually liked the sound of her voice. In fact, some times, her voice made Lenni cringe. Not to mention she started developing nodes and started to strain to hit the notes Lenni was able to hit effortlessly before.

Before his death, Lenni confessed her feelings regarding her inability to listen to herself sing any longer to Kyle, the one person who she felt would understand. The two Jewish on their dad's side/Irish-Scottish/hip-hop/rock/other genres hybrid musicians bonded over this feeling as insecurity ran through musicians as naturally as a river flowed through a mountain pass. Kyle had recommended Lenni seek the help of a renowned classical vocal who also specialized in non-classical and non-traditional vocalists such as themselves.

Lenni resisted for so long. The truth was she was simply afraid to be told everything she had done since she became a professional recording artist was completely wrong. Lenni feared it would be a validation of every fear and doubt she had of the past half-decade regarding her music, her choices of material, her production choices, and her singing abilities.

Kyle and Lenni had countless fights during this period where Kyle accused Lenni of being afraid of growing as an artist and to face harsh truths about herself to make such growth. Lenni suspected Kyle's accusations were touching upon more than simply her music. However, after one such fight, Lenni went to see Kyle, who had started seeing Joan for a few months prior, at his last live performance with his hip-hop/rock band Yutzi, and found he had improved exponentially. He was much more effortlessly flowing while spitting out his complicated rapid-fire wordplays while keeping his patented cocksure, treble-heavy yelping style of voice effects emphasizing certain words and rhymes for effect.

That night showed Lenni that Kyle was right. Lenni had not grown at all from when she debuted her first album. Although she explored different producers and pushed her material to hit harder and to add more interesting sounds, the truth was that the substance of her material was the same even if the sound was different. Variations on anger at authority, mini-lectures about subjects Lenni knew she probably should have gone to college to study, frustrations at society for not doing more, and hopeful calls for people to do more. That was not to say her material was bad, in fact, much of it was lauded. However, after three albums, Lenni was repeating the same thing. Further, Lenni's vocal performances no longer provided anything new or interesting for her to hear. Even worse, her voice was losing its strength and past abilities. If anything, she was regressing.

After Kyle's final performance, in the weeks preceding Kyle's death, Kyle and Lenni pushed and pulled each other. Knowing Kyle was right, and Kyle knowing he was right in more ways than one, pushed both of them over the edge. Lenni remembered saying some of the worst things she had ever said to a person to Kyle. She insulted his upbringing as a rich, spoiled private school going Manhattanite who was passing himself as a Brooklynite by proxy with his Brooklyn-born-and-raised bandmates and with his relationship with her. Kyle for his part insulted Lenni's entire _raison d'etre_ for being a musician and stated she did not have the credibility to sing about the material she wanted to sing about.

They wanted to push each other and shove each other with their words until they were satisfied. It was as if they got high from hurting each other and then transforming their anger and hateful words into something loving and passionate for each other. Both of them were cognizant that this dynamic was not sustainable, but both hoped it was only a phase. Except, this passion and crazed addiction towards satisfying this need to hurt the other was always a part of their relationship. However, after the push came both of their need to touch each other and be with each other. This volatility fed both of their art and had them feeling highs that they had not felt before…at least, in Lenni's case, outside of solving mysteries with Ghostwriter.

Now two years after Kyle's death, Lenni was finally taking his advice and it was paying off incredibly. There is something to be said about enjoying the hectic energy and craziness of making rebellious art and music while filtering it through a grounded and healthy process and structure like vocal lessons. Even in this vocal exercise, Lenni felt this was the best her voice had sounded in a long time. Lenni's voice was sounding clearer, cleaner, and more open. She was now painlessly hitting high notes she had not hit before.

"eeeEEEEEeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEEE…"

"Better, Lenni," Joan said. "I can hear you reaching those notes…they're getting more effortless." Joan and Lenni went at it for another ten minutes with Joan pushing Lenni more and more until she was satisfied.

* * *

"How are your tracks coming along?" Joan asked while feeling up Lenni's throat after pushing her through that exercise.

"They're going well," Lenni replied, "in the past week, I wrote six new songs."

"Really?" Joan asked while pushing Lenni's head back.

"Yeah, at first I wanted to make some sort political album, and I still do, but I'm experimenting with the material now…I think I'm going to venture into writing about myself and what I've been through these past few years."

"Well, you seem a lot freer today than you've been in a while," Joan responded. "After you finish your album, you need to tell me how you've been able to find some of that inner-peace…God knows my children could use some of that advice." Joan joked.

One hour and a half after her vocal lessons with Joan, Lenni was in the middle of a hip hop dance class at Dancewave. Lenni started dance classes in high school at the recommendation of Jade and Sonia from her music studio, both feeling that it would improve Lenni's stage presence once she signed up as one of their artists. Lenni did know she would take to it so much. Even in the past two years, dance was one constant presence in Lenni's life. Even Kyle and his band mates/fellow MCs took classes with her to improve their own stage presence resulting in them incorporating actual, albeit light and natural, choreography into their stage shows allowing them to take their performances to another level garnering them crazy crowd reactions.

"Come on Lenni, hit it harder!" Chantelle screamed at Lenni while watching the other adult students in the class.

Lenni was hitting the intense dance combination harder than ever.

"You're alive! Push it!" yelled Chantelle.

Lenni let the sweat drip down all over as she felt a renewed energy overtake her body.

"Come on!" Lenni screamed back. "That's all you got?"

Some of the other students in the class had no idea what was going on. They just wanted a work-out and to hone their dance moves. What was going on between Lenni and Chantelle was an obvious symbiotic exchange of energy in the form of challenge.

"Ok, you got it!" Chantelle continued as she made the class add a few more kicks, slides, and dips into the already rigorous combination.

As Lenni worked through the new dance moves, Chantelle screamed at her that it was not enough to do the moves, but Lenni needed her body to feel the rhythm and groove of the music.

"What are the lyrics saying? Come on, what does this move have to do with the song?"

Lenni slinked and rolled her body to match the deep crevice of the beat drops. She wanted Chantelle to push and shove through her until whatever hunger she had inside of her was satisfied.

Chantelle hi-fived Lenni and told her to "push" and keep "her head up!" reminding Lenni not to lose eye contact with her reflection straight ahead. This was to maintain contact with the audience.

After an invigorating stroll back to her apartment, Lenni was still hungry. With her energy ablaze from her vocal lesson and intense dance class, she set her eyes on her Roland Fantom-XR synthesizer. Lenni jumped straight to Sally's comfortable recycled cushioned bar stool situated in front of the synthesizer.

Lenni was excited to come up with a bass line to match a song she had just written a few days prior. She was still riding high from her voice lesson. For the first time in a long time, Lenni loved the sound of her voice.

Last week when she first held hands with Rob and then went home with him, they discussed their journey in the past few years in an attempt to figure out where they now were in their relationship. It was a freewheeling and non-chronological retelling. In the end, they were still figuring it out, but their reliving past memories that included memories of every member of the Ghostwriter team hit them with a surge of muse energy. It was electric.

They ended up bouncing ideas off of each other all night. It was almost better than sex, which was good for both of them as they ended up not doing any of that. No, their new passions enflamed a desire to work on their creative endeavors instead. Now for the past week, they could do nothing but talk about the new projects they wanted to work on. Creating with the more zen-like and insular Rob, Lenni discovered that raw, passionate volatility was not necessary for creativity. Maybe artists did not need to suffer for their art. She had not been this inspired and motivated since her first album.

Rob scrapped all of his half-baked writing ideas and instead decided to fictionalize his own story reconnecting with a group of friends in Brooklyn and then finding a possible new romantic interest while grappling with feelings of isolation and fear of connecting with anyone. Lenni gave him her full-hearted encouragement and offered suggestions about how he could structure the story and what points and themes to emphasize the most.

Lenni meanwhile decided to made a double-CD sized album about falling in love, having deep heartbreak from losing her lover at a young age that reminded her of the trauma of losing a parent at a younger age, and then wading through all those feelings in order to dive back to being a living, breathing person again. She was going to musicalize a fictional version of her relationship with her deceased fiancé Kyle and her new found blossoming relationship with Rob. Lenni's album would run the gamut of musical styles to reflect what her protagonist was feeling at the moment. Writing about the possibility of finding new love with Rob ended up replacing actually living the situation of actually finding new love with Rob, but instead of this fact discouraging both Rob and Lenni, they felt it fed their work even more.

Ironically, this brought them closer and allowed them to enter into a new height of intimacy than they had previously enjoyed with one another. This was far from the first time they bounced ideas off of each other and helped each other through their work or inspired each other. However, this is the first time their work was so intimate, so personal, and also so pointed at the other as heir desire for one another became the subject of their creations. This creation became a form of foreplay between them. It turns out that when it came to each other, Rob and Lenni were big into foreplay and the anticipation.

Regarding the track she was working on now, Lenni had it all planned out. This song would occur in the "third act" of her album, where Lenni's protagonist starts putting herself out into the world so she can start inhabiting again and regain the sensations living life provided. The song would intentionally give a false sense of mindlessness that subverts all the dance songs about turning off your brain and letting your body go free. She wanted to give it a banging and heavy dance beat, similar to the ones that were popular in Europe, but had yet make it mainstream Stateside outside of the dance charts.

When she phoned Jade of her new idea, specifically this song, Jade ecstatically recommended she check out the work of a few continental European DJs. Jade told Lenni this would open her up to new and bigger audiences possibly and could not wait to explore that with her. To find inspiration for this track, Lenni went back to her old standards of Missy Elliot, The Beastie Boys, Run DMC, many of the old Def Jam rappers, En Vogue, Rob Base and DJ Eazy-E, but had now wanted to explore the clean, dance-heavy bass beats being found in Europe. She used Benny Benassi's _Hypnotica_ , the works of Daft Punk, and Madonna's recent release, _Confessions on a Dance Floor,_ as inspiration for this track. This was a totally different and a much cleaner sound than what Lenni had previously explored.

Going from there, and using Jade's recommendations, Lenni researched more into the dance/electronica genre. Going into the whole history of dance music prior to the 2000s, she gained a new appreciation for it. Though some would dismiss dance/club tracks as "mindless" and even "vapid", through listening to them, she found that they offered a visceral experience where one's body and brain would just react and not overthink. Through that, a person can really let go of pent up frustrations and emotions. They served their purposes in a way Lenni never fully considered though always inherently knew.

In trying to find the right bass line for the song, Lenni played with the settings of the synthesizer while trying different note combinations. As Lenni continued on, before she knew it, she was playing the iconic bass line of Madonna's "Into the Groove". ( **A/N** : the best bass line in pop music history! But the original version or the _Celebration_ version, not the _Immaculate Collection_ version).

As Lenni registered what she was doing, she could not help but keep playing it over and over. Lenni, still feeling energized from her dance class, started bopping her body to the groove and found herself having the most fun she had on the synthesizer in a very long time. She decided to record what she was playing, so she could play it back later. Then, she played the downloaded drum pattern on her iMac and played her recorded bass line. Not being able to help herself, she started playing the synth part of the song. Lenni messed with the settings of the synthesizer until she felt she got the proper sound. This prompted Lenni to sing.

Just then, Max and Sally opened the doors of the apartment, coming back from a brunch with some of Sally's friends, and entered. Standing in entranceway, they took full stock of what they were witnessing - Lenni having the time of her life performing "Into the Groove". Max and Sally both were full of happiness upon seeing this image. It had been such a long time since Lenni showed this much jubilant energy that it was contagious.

Max and Sally proceeded to dance, encouraging Lenni to sing all out. Lenni observed Max and Sally seemed to be reliving a part of their youth even though both were well into their thirties when this song came out.

As Lenni played, some familiar rapid-fire knocks banged on the door. Max danced his way to the door and greeted the knocker. Max invited the guest to dance his way with him towards Lenni.

Rob uncomfortably walked in taking in the image of two people in their fifties and a girl in her mid-twenties grooving to a then twenty-year-old song.

"Come on, Rob!" yelped Sally fully feeling the song and noticing Rob's apprehension. "Turn your brain off and let your body groove."

"Yeah, come on!" Max added encouragingly. "You can dance! Think of it as inspiration for your book!"

Rob then laughed and shrugged his shoulders. He gave up. He could not resist this beat or everyone's sheer exhilaration. Rob started dancing and moving his limbs in all kinds of crazy ways. This forced Max and Sally to back off a few paces to make room for Rob's wild and seemingly senseless dancing.

Lenni completely enjoyed the image playing in front of her as she continued to sing. She subconsciously sang the bridge directly to Rob:

_Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free  
_ _At night I lock the doors, where no one else can see  
_ _I'm tired of dancing here all by myself  
_ _Tonight I wanna dance with someone else_

_Live out your fantasy here with me  
_ _Just let the music set you free  
_ _Touch my body, and move in time  
_ _Now I know you're mine_

_Now I know you're mine, now I know you're mine  
_ _Now I know you're mine, now I know you're mine_

_You've got to  
_ _Get into the groove  
_ _Boy you've got to prove  
_ _Your love to me, yeah  
_ _Get up on your feet, yeah  
_ _Step to the beat  
_ _Boy what will it be_

Lenni mentally patted herself on the back because hearing herself back, she loved the sound of her voice. It never sounded better.

After Lenni finished, Rob crashed on the arm chair adjourning the couch where Max and Sally followed suit.

Rob was already sticky and sweet from this impromptu dance party. He could not believe he was already winded.

Observing how tired Rob was, Lenni thought he needed to learn to pace himself and dance more often.

"Hey, old man," Lenni said, "this is just the warm-up for tonight."

"You think we're dancing tonight?" Rob asked in-between gasps.

"Uh…you think? I bet I can get Alex to dance," Lenni remarked.

"I'd like to see that myself," Max interrupted also out-of-breath and as he crashed on the couch.

"I am not as young as I used to be," remarked a winded Sally who lied down on top of Max.

"Bibs, I think I pulled something," Max said towards Lenni who was laughing.

Lenni made her way to sit on the armrest of Rob's chair.

* * *

Being this close to Lenni was pushing Rob to want to do something more than just stay seated, but Max and Sally were there. Lenni was full of energy today and did not look tired at all, Rob observed. If he wanted to keep up with her, he needed to rev up his work out regimen…by working out at least. Sure Lenni liked skateboarding, ate pretty clean, and was his usual wiry self, but he needed to up his conditioning to actually be more active it seemed.

"I cannot believe Madonna is still at it, she is putting me to shame," Sally joked. "Well, that's me done then." Sally said indicating to Max she was going to take a lie down. Max made eye contact with Sally and got the hint after she forcefully nodded towards Lenni and Rob. Of course, Lenni and Rob noticed it right away. Sally was not necessarily the queen of subtlety.

After Max and Sally retired for a "nap", Lenni and Rob simply sat there not moving - both conscious of that Max and Sally had forced them to be alone. It would have been fine if they did not make such a big show of it. Now there was this awkwardness pervading the air.

Rob did not understand why it was hard to connect with Lenni in this way. This past week was simply _magic_ between them. They spent the past seven days spending all of their time together, staying up till the wee morning discussing their next projects. In fact, Rob had written six full chapters already, although he needed to majorly edit and focus them.

"Do you want a drink?" Lenni asked as she got up. "We have some Snapple or some Arizona iced tea…"

Rob just watched Lenni doing the most to change the mood of the room. "Uh, I was thinking we could grab a bite to eat and then just hang," Rob said. He had originally come to take Lenni to lunch in an attempt to connect with her outside of their work.

"That's fine, we could do that," Lenni said half-sure. "Where do you want to eat?"

Rob noticed Lenni was putting on a smile. "I was thinking of trying that vegetarian dim sum place," Rob said.

"Could we eat some place that has meat options?" Lenni asked.

"Sure," Rob responded. _Oh geez, is this going to be a problem moving forward - if we move forward?_ Rob asked himself.

Luckily, it was Brooklyn so places to accommodate meat and vegan options were not hard to come by.

Rob felt Lenni stare at his monstrosity of a vegan avocado toast as he smelled the eggs and home fries she ordered.

"So…" Lenni said interrupting the awkward silence, "I caught this show on TV called _Ghost Hunters_ …it seems so fake, but I wondered if they could sense Ghostwriter."

"Yeah! I heard about that show. I do wonder if there's something to it. I'm sure those people are sort of bullshitting, but I wonder if it's possible to sense ghosts and such. I mean we both know ghosts of some sort exist or can exist, even if Ghostwriter was the only one." Rob spat out, happy to have a topic of conversation.

Then Lenni and Rob started talking about Ghostwriter, avoiding any talk about their blossoming relationship. They spent the entire meal talking about Ghostwriter which then segued into them talking about their respective projects. Lenni admitted to writing a song about each member of the Ghostwriter team, including Ghostwriter himself. Rob then admitted he was imagining himself as every member of the Ghostwriter team and trying to get the feel of their experiences in the past decade or so.

After a talkative lunch, Rob and Lenni made their way down the sidewalk walking in silence.

Rob did not understand why she was making this so difficult. Rob had counted on Lenni to be the one who was supposed to make this easier. Even when they first became friends in middle school, she was the one who initiated contact. She kept calling him to come over, to hang, to help her find furniture on the street, to help her with her homework. She pushed and shoved him into a close friendship – of course, she would not have characterized it as that. She was simply being her usual friendly self. That is what Rob wanted.

Lenni had always been the more dominant personality of the two, or at least the most extroverted and sociable one. Rob had counted on Lenni taking more initiative since that rainy Monday when they held hands. He was the one who was supposed to be afraid of connecting with people. Now he found himself as the initiator between the two, which was not a natural position for him. He was feeling his way through this.

 _This is crazy,_ Rob finally thought. He then grabbed Lenni's hand. Rob laughed to himself that they both were acting like two pubescent children discovering the opposite sex. I _guess if I wanted a rebirth, I got one,_ Rob thought.

Rob felt Lenni's gaze when he did that but he continued to face forward, feigning a confidence, as they strode towards what was ahead of them. He caught a smile form on Lenni's face. _Good!_ He thought.

"Whoa! Look at that!" Lenni exclaimed suddenly. She then ran towards a used office chair while keeping hold of Rob's hand, thus forcing Rob to run with her.

 _She's fast!_ Rob thought of Lenni. Then Rob caught sight of the used desk chair simply sitting at a random curb among a bunch of other discarded junk. "Uh…are you sure you want that? It might have bed bugs."

"Rob, this is leather! It wouldn't have bed bugs! I swear ever since you came back from Australia you've been so scared of bed bugs. You won't even go to a movie theater anymore because of it."

"Um…there was a huge bed bug infestation at some movie theaters in the City, and _The Writer's Block_ offices had a bed bug infestation shortly before I got a freelancing job there, so yeah, I think I have call to be afraid of it." Rob shivered at the thought about bed bugs in his work space.

"You're becoming a hypochondriac with that." Lenni said annoyingly. Rob loved the sound that tone. It was getting closer to Lenni's bossier self.

"You laugh now, but in a few years, don't be surprised when the news and _The_ _New York Times_ write about it. It'll be like the movie _The Birds_ except with bed bugs."

"Gross!" Lenni responded having a sheer look of horror and disgust. "Ok, if you're right, then I owe you a coke unless that's not vegan either," Lenni said calming down.

"I don't drink high fructose corn syrup if I can help it, but I'm not vegan," Rob said, annoyed that even his closest friends did not fully understand his diet, ignoring the fact that he was not quite consistent with it himself.

"I don't know, you avoid milk preferring almond milk or soy milk, most dairy actually, and avoid eggs, and you lectured Gaby about lip gloss having fish scales or whatever, and you won't wear leather," Lenni started to say.

"I still eat cheese," Rob said fully annoyed now.

"Not that American Kraft singles kind though," Lenni said.

"You don't either," Rob replied. _I mean after the age of 12 why would anyone choose to eat that?_ Rob thought. "I'll eat goat gouda and the like."

Lenni side-eyed him. Rob now wanted to push more of her buttons. This was _fun_.

"Besides," Rob continued with his patented self-satisfied and cocky smirk, "after you come from Australia and taste what real Southern hemisphere meat tastes like and what dairy there tastes like, you won't be able to eat American hormone-ingested corn-fed meat either. I mean here, the chicken doesn't even taste like a chicken or any kind of actual flesh."

"I'm sure tons of people who come from Australia eat the meat here," Lenni said mocking Rob. Rob imagined she was thinking to herself, _Since when did he become so picky?_

"Anyway, that is a leather chair…" Rob said hoping Lenni's temper would enflame.

"Yeah, but the cow's already dead, so I'm just reusing it, not buying a whole new one."

"Sure," Rob said rolling his eyes at Lenni. He then noticed that he and Lenni were still holding hands when she playfully shoved him. Rob would not have minded if Lenni did that some more. He simply wanted her to touch him some more.

"Now come on and help me wheel this back to the apartment, my desk chair is seriously on its last legs." Lenni commanded.

Rob and Lenni rolled Lenni's new leather office chair down a few streets before Rob realized they would look less silly if he just grabbed it and carried it the rest of the way. Rob wanted Lenni to be impressed with Rob's chivalry and ability to carry a whole office chair for a few blocks. However, after a few blocks, Rob's thoughts were dominated by thinking how much heavier and cumbersome carrying a fully installed office chair was.

"How about I just sit on the chair and you just wheel me the rest of the way?" Lenni joked.

"Ok!" Rob said, all too glad to have an excuse to put the chair down.

"Wait what? I was just…"

Before Lenni could finish her sentence, Rob playfully shoved Lenni on the chair and started wheeling her down the street. This was _fun!_ Rob thought. This was not too different from skateboarding or at least shopping with a grocery cart.

At first Lenni looked self-conscious but then the expression of pure enjoyment overtook her face. This made Rob feel unbearably happy. He did not care how many people were staring at them at the moment. Lenni started bossing him around by telling him to take random detours making the trek back to Lenni's longer than it should have taken. Rob did not mind. He wanted this to last forever. He could push her for as long as it took to satisfy the both of them.

Rob started feeling more daring and opted to do some crazy maneuvers to "scare" her. Lenni laughed as if she had no care in the world.

That was until they nearly ran over an older lady who gave them the middle finger before walking off. Her husband followed who had choice words for them before joining his wife. She in turn she proceeded to chew him out and he back at her.

 _Wow!_ They both thought.

"Look at those two soul mates, it's beautiful, isn't it?" Rob asked.

Lenni giggled affirmatively before Rob continued pushing Lenni on the street. Just then a bike rider nearly ran them over. The cyclist moved out of their way nearly hitting a cab - swirving just in time. Rob turned to Lenni whose face was completely white.

Lenni then opted to help Rob roll the chair back the rest of the way to her apartment.

 _Shit!_ Rob thought.

* * *

After Rob placed Lenni's new office chair in front of her desk, he volunteered to take her old beaten up office chair to the curb with the other trash.

As Rob was doing that, Lenni took out her "death" locket that Kyle had purchased for her from her bedside table drawer. She opened it and looked at Kyle's portrait on the right side. He had his usual cocksure smirk, wearing a NY Mets cap and a fitted red T-shirt. This was her favorite picture of Kyle. He was so handsome while also looking so bratty. Lenni loved the contradictions in Kyle. He was so raw, wild, and at times hyper, but he backed that energy up with real focus and discipline in his craft. He rapped about being a ladies man and being the best thing to happen to hip hop while also going on about feminist issues and criticizing male toxicity. He acted like he did not care about politics but would care so much about the shit happening to vulnerable, oppressed people.

 _It's unfair!_ Lenni thought fighting back tears. He was stolen not just from her but from the rest of the world who would never truly what he could have really done with his life. He was not even close to his peak yet. Lenni knew it, his family knew it, and his bandmates knew it.

Lenni then looked at the left side of her locket. There, a picture of her mother stared back at her. Her father told her to look at pictures of her mother if she ever felt lost or stuck. However, her mother had become this mythological figure to Lenni – one whom Lenni could never measure up. All she knew of her mother were sparse memories and the way everyone who knew her and loved her spoke about her. It was like she was this perfect goddess.

Every time she was reminded of her mother, Lenni always felt not like herself. When memories of her mother were around, Lenni never knew who she was. Lenni never admitted that she some times forgot what her mother looked like as she died when Lenni was five-years-old. For most of her life, she tried to avoid thinking about her mother or looking at her image. However, after Kyle died, all Lenni could do was think about her mother. What she spoke like, what she smelled like, what annoyed her, if she lost her temper, what her relationship with her father was like, what inspired her paintings and art, to whom did she look up, and why did she love _Harriet the Spy_ so much? That was the one thing Lenni mother directly left for her before she passed.

Lenni thought about herself having to fill in a void left by her mother for her father. She knew she was not a perfect replacement for her mother, especially now that she had gone through something similar. Lenni began to wonder if her father's bloodline was cursed. Had she married Kyle, no doubt she would have loved any child they would have had together but that child would not have replaced Kyle. The loss she felt in losing Kyle was so unbearably heavy and deep. Kyle's death left this void inside of her. She had wished they had broken up as she planned, but she wondered if that would have made things worse. Either way, the hurt and pain was still there.

And ahat was she doing with Rob? Rob was not a replacement for Kyle, Lenni knew. He was something different. He was his own person. He need not be Kyle's replacement, but still, did Rob feel the need to fill that void? That was not his responsibility, Lenni knew. But, why did it feel like Kyle was still coming in-between them?

Lenni then looked at Kyle's portrait again. He really was the cutest man she had ever met. She remembered the time they first met after a concert they both performed in. She said he looked like Ad-Rock from The Beastie Boys including his short height. Then after some playful banter with Kyle doing the most to make Lenni laugh with his man-child like hyper behavior, they found themselves making out with each other. After a few whirlwind months, they were engaged.

Lenni smiled at the memory. She knew she was coming to terms with his death but she was still not ready to let him go - that was Kyle's hold on her.

Hearing Rob close the front door of their apartment made Lenni put away her "death" locket. Rob sheepishly entered Lenni's room. Seeing Lenni sit on her bed, Rob opted to sit on the trash leather desk chair he had so disapproved of earlier fearing it was full of bed bugs. Seeing Rob in that position prompted Lenni to laugh. She laughed hard.

Once the laughter subsided, Lenni watched Rob as a look of confusion on his face washed away. He simply shrugged his shoulders as if to dismiss whatever it was Lenni was laughing at - that it was for her to know and for him to forget about. He turned towards Lenni's laptop sitting on her desk noticing it was on the Apple website on their iPods page.

"You're going to buy a new one?" Rob asked. "Didn't you just get one?"

"Yeah, like last year, but I need more memory to put my mixes and stuff in there," Lenni answered.

Rob gave her a look that said he couldn't believe it and then ended up browsing some literary websites. "Cool, Myra Lieberman's new book finally has a release date!"

"Nice," Lenni said. Wanting to grab Rob's attention, Lenni said, "Hey Rob, what do you think of this new painting I got from the flea market?"

Rob squinted at the small-print words of the painting, then sighed to himself. He rummaged through his ragged messenger bag and put on his black thick-frame glasses.

 _My God he's adorable!_ Lenni thought. She always thought Rob was insanely cute to the point of serious attractiveness, but when he put on his glasses, he was irresistable.

"Oh yeah! It's a Myra Lieberman quote! Nice! What a coincidence!" Rob said finally able to read the words.

"Yeah, I got it because I thought it was so you. Do you want it?" Lenni asked.

"I dunno, it's yours," Rob said.

"No, I actually got it for you," Lenni replied. "I just wanted you to see it hung up."

"Oh, expecting me to come into your bedroom?" Rob asked.

"Yeah," Lenni said bluntly.

Lenni heard Rob gulp. Between that nervous gulping and his glasses, and Rob just being Rob, Lenni felt compelled to take the next step.

"Yeah, I wanted you to see it in that position, so in case you didn't bring your glasses, you'd have to go on my bed to read it," Lenni said.

"Wha what? Really?" Rob said in a manner reminiscent of a nebbish person.

"Oh my God Rob, come here!" Lenni exclaimed.

"Oh ok…" Rob said. "Wait, should I take off my shoes?"

"YES!"

Rob then lied on Lenni's bed. This was far from the first time Rob lied in Lenni's bed, but this was the first time he had done so when they were in this transient romantic period.

Rob was about to take off his glasses before Lenni told him to keep them on for a spell before kissing him. Lenni found herself more aggressive than she had intended to be. This was their first kiss. This was more like a lustful taste than an innocent first kiss. Lenni surprised herself with how much she wanted to do this.

Lenni felt Rob's mouth respond in kind. Then she felt his hands respond in kind. Then she found herself positioned on top of Rob's lap as they continued kissing.

"Wait wait…" Rob said. "Your dad and Sally are in the other room."

"They can't hear anything, believe me, otherwise I would have heard…"

"Ok…ok…but uh…it's still weird." Rob responded.

"Come on, Rob," Lenni said. "If it'll make you feel better…" Lenni then got up and moved her laptop on her bedside table to put on music. "This should drown out any noise," Lenni said as she pumped up the volume before she wanted to pump up something else.

Rob quickly removed his glasses and they continued heavily kissing and breathing. Lenni pushed Rob hard to make him move to his back.

"Wait…wait…" Rob repeated.

 _What now?_ Lenni asked. She really wanted this…needed this. Did Rob not want this?

"I just want to know if you're sure?" Rob asked. "I mean we haven't really done any boyfriend-girlfriend stuff before this, and this is like moving from _The Book of ABCs_ to _Infinite Jest_ , you know?"

"Honestly Rob, I felt like we've been doing boyfriend-girlfriend stuff for the past 15 years," Lenni replied. "I mean what we have has been more than friendship right?"

"Well yeah, but we've never actually been a couple or romantic or anything like that." Rob responded.

Lenni moved off of Rob and lied next to him. Both grew quiet.

 _Kyle would have never hesitated_ , Lenni thought before realizing she should not be thinking about her dead fiancé at this exact moment. Rob was different. She needed to respect Rob and respect the pace he wanted to take this.

Lenni turned and caught Rob staring at her.

"Fuck it," Rob said before pushing himself against her and began kissing and undressing her.

"Rob, do you have condoms?" Lenni asked.

"Uh…I didn't think to bring any, I wasn't expecting this to happen…" Rob started.

Before Rob could finish his sentence, Lenni went through her tableside drawer and found a few condoms next to her "death" locket.

"Here," Lenni said before she started making out with Rob again. "Always bring condoms," Lenni said in-between kisses.

Lenni and Rob enjoyed rubbing their bodies against each other and discovering each other's rhythms and tastes. The song switched over to another song that felt so sexy, heavy, lusty, and naughty. It added to the heated moment. Lenni found she was naturally moving her body against Rob's in away that matched the sexy pulsating rhythm of the song until…suddenly, blaring loudly on Lenni's laptop was the actual lyrics of "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches:

_Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,  
_ _Callin me, all the time like blondie  
_ _Check out my chrissy behind  
_ _It's fine all of the time  
_ _Like sex on the beaches,  
_ _What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?_

"Oh shit!" Lenni said before changing the song. "Sorry, I don't have a 'romantic' playlist. I guess if we didn't want my Dad or Sally to find out what we're doing, we failed."

Then both Rob and Lenni doubled over in laughter. They then turned to each other and sensed a burning desire inside of them. They were ready to pounce on each other before Lenni's phone rung with a loud notification that she received a text.

"It's a message from Jamal asking us if we wanted to do lunch," Lenni said. She turned to Rob who had already removed his shirt and gave her a look indicating he was not hungry…for food.

Seeing Rob's naked torso and waiting with such thirst for her, Lenni said, "I'm going to politely decline." Then hurriedly texted Jamal back.

Rob and Lenni then continued doing what they wanted to do for their satisfaction.

* * *

**PART 3: ADDICTED (THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY)**

_I'm under your spell  
_ _Pulled me in, took me down with your poisonous touch  
_ _You brought me to hell  
_ _Watch me burn with a fever that I love so much  
_ _You're watching me crawl  
_ _You get your kicks, take your fist  
_ _Put it right through the wall  
_ _The drug that I crave  
_ _You're so clever, you're the devil  
_ _Watch you slither away_

_Your truth is a lie  
_ _Bitter fruit, bitter sweet  
_ _But oh so divine  
_ _Now that I've had a taste  
_ _Like a moth to a flame, I'm addicted to pain_

_See I don't know what it is  
_ _But I'm attracted to the dark  
_ _And it was easy to predict  
_ _You were gonna be the one who broke my heart  
_ _You were gonna be the one who tore it apart  
_ _Make me fall down on my knees and start to pray  
_ _You were gonna be the one that got away_

\- Madonna

Over the weekend, Gaby received a phone call from Dr. Ibanez asking her to cover her classes for the week, as she needed to make a last-minute trip back to her hometown of Santa Fe, New Mexico to deal with a family issue. Gaby ecstatically accepted despite the fact that her schedule became increasingly busy with her duties as Dr. Ibanez's research assistant, having to review an academic journal article for Hunter's premiere Geography Department's publication, attending her high-level seminars and doing all the work required, and grading papers. She thought it would be a welcome change-of-pace. Dr. Ibanez thanked her profusely and stated it would be good practice for when Gaby would start teaching in her second year as a graduate student next year.

It was Friday, and therefore this was the third lecture Gaby conducted this week in front of this specific class, Introduction to Cultural Geography. Gaby quickly learned everybody's names and as far as she could tell, the students enjoyed her teaching style or at least her personality. Before the opportunity of actually teaching undergraduates, Gaby did not fully comprehend the diversity at Hunter College, which was similar to NYU. In fact, Hunter had an even larger Hispanic or Latino population than NYU, which Gaby personally appreciated.

Gaby walked across the platform that was nearly as wide as the classroom itself. She appreciated that the platform was close in proximity to the students and therefore allowed for a more intimate exchange between teacher and pupil - maybe too intimate as Gaby could fully see her students' faces and know when she was boring or had lost them. At the moment, some were blank-faced, with others falling in and out of sleep, while others showed genuine interest and enthusiasm with the last group having confused expressions.

Gaby laughed to herself at the position she was in right now. If only her younger self could see what she was doing now. She had a captive audience who was forced to listen to her lecture about all the things she found interesting to share. Now that Gaby had a taste of teaching, she was waking up to the fact that academia may have been the right course for her to take with her life. Suddenly, Gaby thought about what her customers at Tyre, the nightclub Gaby worked at during weekends as a tight-dressed, high-heel wearing server would think if they saw her here. She then wondered if any of these students clubbed there and may have recognized her.

"So in Belgium…there has been this sentiment among the population to separate into two countries. There is even resistance for the Belgian citizentry to call themselves 'Belgian' prefering to identifying themselves to their specific region instead. They would probably prefer a velvet divorce like with what happened in the former Czechoslovakia over the violent civil wars and genocide that happened in the former Yugoslavia. I mean don't we all?"

Gaby looked around to see if anybody laughed. Only a few did. She continued.

"Here, we have Walloons and Flemings coming close to civil war. It gets so bad that some times Belgium goes without a central government because of the animosity towards an elected leader who represents one group but not the other. Although the tension has subsided a little in the recent years, there is still such an animosity that exists that it cannot be underestimated and is bound to peak time and time again."

"Ms. Fernández?" asked an inquisitive Freshman boy.

"Yeah, Julio?"

"Isn't Belgium mostly white?"

"Yes, Julio, for all intents and purposes, the population of Belgum consists of people who are what we would socially construct as white," answered Gaby. She knew where this was going. Some people are stuck in the American-centric experience where race has been the most major factor of civil war and tension within a country.

"But they're fighting?"

"Si, correcto."

"But, what do they have to fight about?"

"Ah..." Now we get to the point. Julio's question provided a great opportunity to delve deeper. "Well, Julio, what do you think they'd fight about?"

"Um…I guess they speak different languages, right? One side speaks German and the other side speaks French."

"There is a German population in Belgium, that's correct, Julio. But the two major linguistic groups of Belgium are the Walloons and Flemish people in Flanders. The Walloons are the French-speakers while the people in Flanders are Dutch-speaking."

"But I don't see why there would be such a problem," Julio continued.

"Why not, Julio?"

"It's just language. It's not like one side is black and were enslaved by whites, or one side was Mexican and looked different. These white Europeans look the same, right?"

Some members of the class laughed at Julio's comment. Gaby suspected they were laughing at Julio himself as all three lectures Gaby had taught showed he asked questions that had answers other students found obvious. Gaby meanwhile appreciated Julio's courage to ask questions even if he knew he could be laughed at.

Gaby then thought for a split-second. At the crux of the matter, Julio was right. It was ridiculous that people everywhere found such distinct lines to separate themselves from one another and often exercise in power struggles based on those lines, whether it be language, religion, ethnicity, national dish, you name it. However, Julio's acceptance that race is a more valid reason to fight than language simply showed his bias towards what he thought were "legitimate" reasons for a country to tear itself apart.

"No, no, guys. Julio asks a good question. Why do people fight?"

"Differences in culture," offered the usually quiet girl in the front.

"Good, Mira."

"People fight with other people who are different," answered a kid who sat near the back.

"Right, Raymond."

"Julio, what languages do you speak?" Gaby asked.

"Spanish and English."

"Wouldn't you say language is an important part of our society?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"It is. Some sociologists believe that language dictates the way we think."

That made the class think for a bit wondering how their brains were shaped by the language(s) they spoke.

"Granted, the theory is debatable, but Julio, if you're like me, you think a little differently in Spanish than in English, no?

"Si," answered Julio enthusiastically. "In Spanish, I think faster and act quicker too. Like in Spanish, I can…uh…you know…move!" Julio said while gesturing in a more aggressive and machismo-like manner

The class laughed, this time both Gaby and Julio knew it was not at his expense. Gaby let out a chuckle as well.

"Good. Now what controversy is going on in the U.S. right now regarding Spanish?"

Nobody in the class answered as they pondered Gaby's question.

"Some people think that the Hispanic population is overtaking this country," said Gaby.

"Really?" asked another girl, obviously not realizing that there was such a controversy.

"Yeah Keoka, there is."

"Puerto Rico!" screamed out a boy complete with a fist pump.

"Republica Dominicana!" replied another girl.

Some members of the class laughed.

"See how Bernardo and Julissa just illustrated a classroom conflict between two Spanish-speaking cultures? Even though it was just limited to this classroom?" Gaby continued, "Well, some people in the U.S. see that as a good thing and that we are showing that we recognize a sizable portion of the American population. Don't forget that most of the Southwest United States was occupied by Spanish-speakers before U.S. exercised Manifest Destiny. The Hispanic population feels as though they have a priority claim on the land and that their land was wrongfully taken over by the English-speaking Protestant Americans. Others, meanwhile, see that as a threat to the American identity and that they have a right to keep America as they see fit. They won the land through legitimate conflict, so they have current effective control. The Americans had control over these lands for over a hundred years now, so to them they ask how long does it take for you to accept that these lands are now American lands? Complicating matters is the fact that the U.S. does not have an official language and the fight to recognize one is an offshoot of this tension. People feel very strongly when it comes to their identity."

"What do you mean?" asked Julio.

"Well, Julio, you feel strongly about being Guatemalan, right?"

"Si."

"What if the Mexicans came down and forced everybody in Guatemala to be Mexican?"

"I'd be so mad, I'd…"

"Ok. That's identity. You attach yourself to your identity and when it gets threatened, people feel as though they have to do what they can to stop the threat. It may even resort to violence. Imagine if it wasn't the Mexicans that took Guatemala by force, but say the English or the French or the Americans. And they forced Guatemalans to speak English or French. Would you be as angry as you were with the Mexicans?"

"Even more!"

"Apply that to the Belgian situation."

 _A ha!_ Gaby recognized the bulb lighting in Julio's head.

"You see class. All of these conflicts and themes are universal. Yeah, there are different circumstances for different regions and conflict varies from place to place. But at the basic level, we get variations of the same theme.

Wait until we get into self-determination and territory, man you guys will flip. Let me tell you something, so I was telling a friend of mine about the situation in the Chechnya, and I brought up that…"

Some members of the class groaned as they knew that "Professor" Fernandez, as they called her even though she was not yet a professor, was going to tell one of her off-tangent, tall tales delivered with dramatic effect.

Gaby could not help it. Again, she had a captive audience and she loved taking advantage of it. If only Alex had been forced to listen to her without any back talk growing up.

After class dismissed, Gaby went to Dr. Ibanez's office and checked her missed calls on her cell phone. She was anxious to see what she missed, always the one who never liked being out of the loop. She had 3 missed texts from Tina.

Tina: Hey, when u comin over? I'm psyched about 2nite!

Tina: Party starts at 8.

Tina: Text me to tell me when u coming over.

 _Tina must need help._ Gaby instantly thought. Although one could not get the context of a message from a text, Gaby felt she got the context of that one.

Gaby sat at the desk that she shared with other Graduate students in the Geography Department at Hunter College. In the past week, Gaby realized what a fun bunch she had been surrounded with. She had been so preoccupied with her duties as Dr. Ibanez's research assistant that she did not have a chance to interact with the other graduate students. Now that Dr. Ibanez was gone and allowed Gaby to take a week-long break from her RA duties, she was finally able to breathe. She waved a hello to Andrew, the fiancé of her roommate Melissa, as he was leaving for the day. He was the only member of the department that she felt she knew semi-well as he had been over their apartment numerous times.

"Why Geography?" Gaby asked herself when she first started her graduate studies and felt bogged down by the work. Gaby used her free time to look on her MySpace page and reviewed the pictures she took of Brooklyn a few weeks ago. The pictures showed the older shops and houses being torn down to be "renovated" and "improved". She wished to write a paper one day regarding cultural assimilation based on her experiences growing up and her own observations on how Brooklyn was now being threatened by gentrification and glass condos. "That's why," Gaby answered.

However, now that Gaby was on MySpace, she could not help but look at Gabriel's page. His relationship status was still listed as "Separated". She did not dare look at his wife's MySpace page as it moved from "Separated" to "It's Complicated" with new postings of photos of her and Gabriel together the last time she checked on Sunday morning.

She looked out the window and saw students strolling along on a Friday afternoon. She noticed a carefree, young couple sitting under a planted tree near a concrete building. Their bright, young faces looked like they did not have a care in the world. Gaby sighed and looked at the time on her desktop. It was only 2:00 pm. She sighed again. The party would not be for another few hours.

Just then, her phone rang. Gaby reacted as if it was right on schedule.

"Hi, Gabriel."

"I'm craving _mangoes_."

One can guess what "mangoes" was a euphemism for. When they first started sleeping with one another, Gaby gave Gabriel a short Geography lesson on El Salvador and informed him that mangoes were one of El Salvador's indigenous fruit, and well, the name stuck.

"Gabriel, por favor…"

"Oh man, you know you make me hot when you speak Spanish."

"You know I'll be busy tonight and tomorrow during the day. We'll see each other tomorrow night as usual…"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm in New York right now."

"What? Why?" Gaby asked. Gabriel usually had a gig DJing in his hometown in D.C. on Friday nights. He would then drive afterwards to meet Gaby after she finished her shift at Tyre. They would then spend all day Saturday together before their shift at Tyre Saturday night. They would then spend the night together in Gabriel's subsidized hotel room and say their good byes to each other on Sunday before Gaby's shift at Tyre and Gabriel's other DJing job back in D.C.

"Because I knew you took off tonight to go to your friend's party, so I asked a buddy of mine to cover for me. I figured now that I'm free tonight, I can go to the party too. I was thinking that before we go, that we could have some fun…"

"Gabriel, you want to come to the party?" Gaby blurted ignoring the second half of what Gabriel just said to Gaby.

"Why not? I'm here now. What about having fun before the party? We have time, and I've been thinking about you all day, baby."

"Not now, Gabriel," Gaby replied thinking about Tina needing help and unsure over whether she wanted to introduce the Ghostwriter team to her married lover.

"What's the matter, chica? You complain that we never have any time together and now when I call wanting to spend some quality time with you, you act like I'm bothering you."

"I'm sorry, Gabriel, it's just that I'm busy at the moment. I have to grade a few tests right now, and I was thinking about taking the train to Brooklyn early to help at the party."

"Why do you have to go to Brooklyn early?"

"I think Tina needs help."

"She's fine."

"Um, I'm not sure about that, I just got a text from her…and I think it's important I show up a bit early."

"She's more important than me?" This time Gabriel used a sweet voice.

"Yes," Gaby said without thinking. It was true, but Gaby did not mean to say that so harshly.

"Ouch. That's not very nice."

"You haven't been exactly nice to me these past few days." Gaby said without thinking?

"What do you mean?"

Gaby rolled her eyes not saying anything on her receiver. She did not want Gabriel to know she stalked his wife's, Althea, MySpace page, but she also wanted to convey that he should be upfront with her about their current status.

"You know how much you mean to me. Come on; the long distance is hard, I know, but I drove all the way here more than a whole day early just to spend time with you. I got excited that you were not working tonight. It meant we could spend more time together."

"That sounds great and all," Gaby said. She continued shuffling paperwork, "but I really can't make it tonight."

"Gaby," said Gabriel in a more serious tone. "I really do have to see you, it's more than just…fun."

This caused Gaby to pause and be left speechless, a rare occurrence.

"I know this whole long distance only seeing each other from Friday night-to-Sunday morning with a big chunk of that being us at work at Tyre isn't fair to you and is working for my convenience. But please…I want to see you. I can meet you right now if you want. I'm close to Hunter right now. I can pick you up right now and drive us to the hotel. I need to have a talk and I have to see you. I've been thinking about seeing you and talking with you all day, please Gaby, I need this…"

"Ok, Gabriel," Gaby replied. Gabriel sounded so desperate and he never said that sort of monologue usually. Granted, he was usually high when they were together. Gaby continued, "But I really want to be at Alex's by six, so we can't take too long."

"Thanks."

 _Ugh_ , Gaby thought, angry with herself for giving in. Gaby eyed her overnight bag that she had brought along as she planned on sleeping over Alex's apartment tonight so she would not have to make a drunken train ride home back to her apartment in Jackson Heights.

* * *

Peeking her head out of the hotel room's bathroom, Gaby stole a glance at a naked Gabriel who only had a bed sheet to cover himself. Gaby put on her patented dark mascara, deep red lipstick, and let her full bushy hair fall down to her back. Exiting the bathroom, she walked towards Gabriel only wearing a thin white bed sheet herself. Gaby felt like a wanton jungle girl. Gabriel looked at her lustfully.

"Housekeeping…" Gaby joked as she opened the bed sheet to reveal herself to Gabriel. She inched closer to Gabriel as he eased up and laid back.

"I see…then you've come to the right room," Gabriel said with a sly smirk.

Some hours of fun and a long nap later.

Gaby lied on the bed covering herself. "I used to feel cheap doing this," said Gaby half-seriously.

Gabriel turned towards Gaby and offered her a sad smile.

"I don't want things to be this way forever. You know that…"

"I've heard it before. You can save your breath."

Gaby turned to her left and stared at the wall lamp near the hotel telephone.

"You're acting strange today. What did I do?" Gabriel asked truly confused.

Gaby did not say a word, opting instead to silently stare at the wall.

I just…" Gabriel continued.

"So now are you going to tell me?" Gaby interrupted.

"What?"

Gaby let out an agitated sigh. "You know what. You told me you had something important to tell me."

"Oh…it's just that…well…" Gabriel stammered

"Well what?" Gaby demanded more sternly finally facing him.

"It's Althea. We've been in contact recently."

"Yeah?" asked Gaby impatiently. She had wanted Gabriel to finally mention his wife.

"Well, she thinks we may get back together." Gabriel said avoiding eye contact with Gaby.

"What makes her think that?" Gaby asked suspiciously. Gaby betrayed a look of embarrassment and shame to Gabriel.

"Gaby…don't worry. I don't want to get back with her. But, I've known her since I was thirteen and we've been together for so long now, and married for five years. I felt like I owed it to her to think we have chance to get back together. She's been hurting for a while, and I think I need to ease her out of our marriage."

Gaby suddenly felt like shit.

"Don't worry. We'll figure something out." Gabriel offered Gaby a hopeful smile. "We won't stop this. We have something special and I know me and you will still be together, like always."

Gaby did not know what to say.

All she could do was remember her and Gabriel's first lunch date after some shared Saturday night shifts of flirting that started her on the path to hell…at least that was how Gaby imagined her mom would think, if she knew.

* * *

" _Oh no!" exclaimed Gaby, a bit too loud for Gabriel's comfort. Gaby and Gabriel were having such a great time at their table when Gaby, vivaciously retelling a joke she heard from a colleague, accidentally knocked over Gabriel's Coca-Cola onto his lap._

" _No, it's quite alright, I got this under control," Gabriel protested, but it was too late. Once Gaby had set her mind onto something…_

_Gaby quickly got a few napkins from the counter and wiped his lap. Of course, with cheap dry napkins, all it did was leave paper residue on his jeans. Gabriel and Gaby ended up laughing. Then they spoke more about what they did outside of the Saturdays they shared together. Gaby mentioned she was going to graduate school at Hunter College to obtain a Master's degree in Geography._

" _Wow, so you're getting a Master's in Geography. Does that mean you're teaching?"_

" _The professor I'm a research assistant for told me I will start teaching in my second year, and I may have to fill in this year as well."_

" _Wow! So you're gonna be a real college professor?"_

" _I know! What were they thinking?" answered a bemused Gaby. "I can't believe it myself. They're going trust me to shape those minds, if they only knew how coercive I am. Hopefully I'll get a chance to fill in for Dr. Ibanez this Fall."_

" _If they only knew how sexy you were in that dress at Tyre on Saturday nights…" Gabriel responded._

_With that, Gaby was ready to take it a step further. Gabriel was too, but he revealed that he was married, thinking Gaby deserved to know the truth. He then explained he and his wife were separated and it was a long time coming._

_Gaby left that lunch thinking she would never see him again as that seemed to be the basic lie every married man looking for an affair told a girl. But then she ended up stalking their MySpace pages and sure enough, it turned out both Gabriel and his wife listed their relationship status as "separated"._

_When they saw each other the next weekend, Gabriel shocked Gaby by greeting her with a warm, intimate hug, followed by a long sweet kiss. That was when Gabriel invited Gaby to the hotel for the first time. Gaby had second thoughts about the whole thing. Flirting and making out with a separated man was one thing, but sex was another. However, Gabriel reassured her that his marriage to Althea was over and that there were no children involved so there was no "family" she was breaking up. He also mentioned he only wanted to have fun and if that was all she was looking for, then he was on the same page._

_Fun. That really was the only thing Gaby was after back then._

_Their first time was magical, Gaby had thought. She never made love to anyone as intimately as she had with Gabriel. Maybe it was because there was a sense of urgency or that Gabriel, being older, was more experienced than she was and thus able to know how to touch Gaby in ways none of the college-aged men she had been with in the past had touched her before. Gaby wondered if Gabriel had much experience in seducing young twenty-two year-olds and taking advantage of their inexperience. Gaby then thought it was funny to think of herself as inexperienced. Either way, Gaby got a taste of what Gabriel was offering and was addicted._

* * *

A few months after she started this "fling", her fantasy had now come crashing down. It was not as if Gaby wanted to continue hurting Althea. She simply, albeit naively and selfishly, put her out of the equation thinking both Althea and Gabriel had been on the same page regarding their separation. Throughout the last few months, Gaby told herself to let Gabriel deal with his marital problems and that this was only for fun. Then she caught feelings as did Gabriel who extended his contract with Tyre to explore his relationship with Gaby. Further, he just told her he wanted to continue their relationship.

There's nothing wrong with sex. Sex was just a physical act, for pleasure. It did not have to mean any thing more than that. However, a part of Gaby knew that the truth was that saying those things made her feel as though she actively denounced any responsibility for her actions. In the beginning both she and Gabriel would often reassure each other, after their liaisons, that they did not have to worry about the other wanting anything more substantial. Gaby reassured Gabriel that she was not going to call Althea up one day and tell her what was up if Gabriel decided to stop seeing Gaby. In fact, Althea was not a real person to Gaby, but just this dot of information that was part of his life, like a date to memorize on a history test. Now, Althea felt all too real.

However, Gaby knew she could not deny her feelings any longer. Her feelings for Gabriel eventually evolved into something more than just a craving. She found herself imagining herself as Gabriel's actual girlfriend…maybe something more. Maybe it was seeing Tina and Alex grow more serious or her roommate Melissa getting engaged from somebody in her department, or even seeing Hector last Friday night who was with somebody who was unapologetically into him despite Hector telling her that Ollie openly said his sexual orientation was decidedly "not gay", and did not wish to partake in any public displays of affections. Ollie may have told Hector that, but with the way Ollie treated Hector, Ollie was much more open to showing his affection towards Hector than what he had verbally expressed to him. And he did that despite all of the social stigma surrounding them and whatever crap Ollie's upbringing did to make him want to repress himself emotionally.

Essentially, Gaby wanted this relationship to be on her terms. Despite her not wanting to face the moral and emotional consequences of her actions, Gaby felt that as long as she was in control between Gabriel and her, this relationship would be under control. When she just now heard Gabriel's plans for them, she felt angry. _How dare he_ , she thought. Gaby would later think it was strange that if he had decided to end it then and there, she would have reacted more positively – maybe relieved.

That made Gaby wonder if she was simply using Althea as a way out now. Something had shifted in her and Gabriel's relationship. She did not know what, but she felt as though she needed to move on and get out of this rut she was feeling. Professionally, she was making strides. However, she still felt like she was missing something. She started feeling as if she was living in this empty shell where she only lived life from day-to-day. This was a position Gaby envisioned she would never fall under. Whether it was due to seeing Althea's true feelings last Sunday, seeing Gabriel still play the role of a husband who was in good-faith giving Althea a chance towards reconciliation, her taking a more proactive role in her department, the pregnancy scare, Gaby could not say. But she knew she could not continue going through the motions with Gabriel any longer.

Gaby looked up at Gabriel wondering if he would say anything more about what he was envisioning happening between them. What was she doing? This was Gabriela Fernandez. She would never put herself in this position. She was too smart to know how these stories went. But now she was hopefully waiting for any sign from Gabriel that this was real. Gaby felt pathetic. She let her addiction to a man who would end up breaking her heart cloud her judgment. Some times human nature was too strong to fight. Gaby let these thoughts fester in her head.

Gaby then looked straight at Gabriel and said, "When you go back to D.C., then don't forget your wedding ring. That'll make Althea feel better." She then swiftly rose up and ran to the bathroom. She quickly put her clothes on, and ran out of the hotel room, leaving behind a befuddled Gabriel.

A bed sheet clad Gabriel tried to chase after her, but after some quick maneuvering Gaby had lost him. She ran, as quickly as she could, to the train station headed to Brooklyn.

* * *

**PART 4: BODY MOVIN'**

_Now, let me get some action from the back section  
_ _We need body rockin' not perfection  
_ _Let your backbone flip but don't slip a disc  
_ _And let your spine unwind — just take a risk  
_ _I wanna' do the freak until the break of dawn  
_ _Tell me party people, is that so wrong?  
_ _The ship is docking, interlockin'  
_ _And up-rockin', electro-shocking  
_ _We're getting down, computer action  
_ _Do the robotic satisfaction  
_ _Now all of y'all, get off the wall  
_ _Have a ball and get involved with_

_Mike D, with the master plan  
_ _I said, Ooh my-my and thank you, ma'am  
_ _And when I grab the mic, you scream, "Ooh, goddamn"  
_ _The crème de la crème is who I am  
_ _MCA, where have you been?  
_ _Packed like sardines in the tin  
_ _So kick off your shoes and put on your swim fins  
_ _'Cause when it comes to quarries I'm known to swim  
_ _And Adrock, light up the place  
_ _And if you pull my card, you pull the ace  
_ _And if you ask me, turn up the bass  
_ _And if you play defender  
_ _I could be your hyperspace... So_

_Body movin', body movin'  
_ _A1 sound, and the sound's so soothing  
_ _Body movin', body movin'  
_ _We be getting down and you know we're Krush Groovin'_

_-_ The Beastie Boys (Fatboy Slim Remix)

While sitting in a cab leaving JFK International airport, Jamal figured it would be a good idea to text the rest of the team _sans_ Tina and Alex to see what they were up to and if anybody wanted to grab something to eat. Although he had wanted to save his appetite for Tina's menu, Jamal was starving.

Only Casey was available to meet Jamal for lunch. She answered that she would meet him anywhere since she and Rhonda were just unpacking at Grandma CeCe's, and Rhonda would be catching up on some sleep since she drove the last leg to Brooklyn. They were excited to see each other until they entered into an argument regarding what kind of food they were having for lunch. Jamal suggested pizza as he needed to eat an authentic pizza again. Casey was pizzaed out from her giant Chicago-style deep dish pizza from Wednesday. Jamal then successfully argued that what she had in Chicago was not pizza.

**Grimaldi's at 1 Front St., Brooklyn right off the Brooklyn Bridge**

"Jamal, I know this is one of the best pizza places in the city…" Casey started.

"In the country," Jamal interrupted while tightening his grip on his rolling suitcase and carry-on bag.

"Whatever, but do you really want to wait in this line?" asked Casey. "Why didn't you go to Grandma's first to drop off your stuff?"

"Yes," said Jamal. "And I couldn't wait. I was starving. You never had it, have you?"

"I'm sure it's good, but I'm sure there are comparable places that don't have this long wait."

"Well, we're in line now, let's just see how long the wait will be."

Close to a two-hour wait later, Jamal and Casey sat down. Casey was none-too-pleased.

"I could be napping right now! You know how long that van ride was?" Casey asked.

"You are twenty-one, you have plenty of energy," Jamal answered.

Ignoring his crabby cousin, Jamal simply ordered the classic margherita pizza. Casey felt that was a wise choice since it was not too heavy like The Don that included Italian sausage, meatballs, and pepperoni. As Casey smelled the aromas coming from the coal-brick oven she was starting to feel better.

"Sorry I'm not more energetic, I'm just now feeling the car ride from Chicago," Casey said.

"Don't worry," Jamal said. "After we finish here, we'll just take a cab back to Grandma CeCe's. You'll have hours of sleep. I should nap too."

"You? Why do you need to nap? You flew here early in the morning but otherwise, you just sat on a plane."

"And didn't Rhonda drive the last leg of the trip?"

"Yeah, but I still had to drive part of the way, and I couldn't just sleep while Rhonda was driving and getting close to Brooklyn."

"Anyway, how are you settling into your dorm? Excited about the new semester? Your final year?"

"Of course," Casey said, "the sooner I get out of UChicago, the better. I'm glad I went there, but I'm totally done now."

"Casey, you have a whole academic year left, don't get ahead of yourself," Jamal chuckled.

"Yeah yeah," Casey replied.

Once the pizza arrived, Casey quickly and happily grabbed a slice. She could not believe how delicious this pizza was. She savored the homemade mozzarella and fresh basil with the chunky tomato sauce. _Now this was pizza!_ She thought. When she was finishing up her second slice, Casey realized Jamal had not eaten a slice yet.

"Who are you texting?" Casey asked.

"Huh..hold up, sorry, I'm just responding to a message," Jamal said distractedly – eyes never leaving the flip phone screen.

"Well, duh!" Casey responded annoyingly.

"Wow, that UChicago education has improved your vocabulary," Jamal responded still not looking away from his phone. Jamal then giggled at something from his screen.

"Ok, who are you texting?!" Casey asked again.

"A girl…" Jamal said.

Casey's eyes grew wide.

"I mean a friend," Jamal quickly corrected.

"What's her name?" Casey asked.

"A poster from the science message board I moderate," Jamal answered finally finishing and grabbing a slice.

"That's not what I asked," Casey said.

"I know," Jamal said before biting into his slice.

After enjoying their pizza, Jamal and Casey grabbed a cab to Grandma CeCe's house.

"Wow, that only took about twenty minutes for us to get a cab, it's never been that short," Casey joked commenting on their skin color.

"Ha ha," Jamal said sarcastically.

* * *

"Hi Sugar!" Grandma CeCe exclaimed hugging Jamal and kissing him on both cheeks.

"Ok Grandma…" Jamal said embarrassed.

"Yeah Grandma, let him breathe!" Casey said.

"Aw, now don't be jealous!" Grandma CeCe said before grabbing Casey and kissing her too.

"Grandma! You already did that to me when I first came," Casey said.

"Can't a grandmother kiss her grandkids these days?" Grandma CeCe said. "If you don't want me to give you all this attention, then give me some great-grandkids, lord knows if Danitra and Cheryl will give me any."

"Eeeew, gross!" Casey responded, "I'm only 21. You shouldn't think of that for me for another fifteen year or better yet, never think about that forever."

Jamal laughed. Even though he was also the object of Grandma CeCe's need for great-grandchildren, he did not take it seriously. He did not know why Danitra and Casey took it so seriously. That's just how parents on up spoke.

"Well, come in," Grandma CeCe said. "Your dad's at work of course and your mother is at her office supervising those nurses and…"

"Grandma, I know," Jamal said. "I called them yesterday. I'll see them tomorrow night."

"When are you flying back out again?" Grandma CeCe asked.

"Sunday night, late," Jamal answered.

"Well, sit-sit, tell me what's happening with you since I last saw you."

Jamal turned to Casey who was amused at Grandma CeCe demanding so much attention from Jamal. Jamal gave Casey a side-eye before catching up with his grandmother.

Casey went ahead and took a nap with Rhonda who was knocked out still.

After catching up with Grandma CeCe, Jamal decided to check in with his old sensei, Ernest Abuba.

Jamal walked into his old dojo and caught sight of the old sensei watching over one of his instructors instruct an after-school class of ten to thirteen-year-olds. He then remembered the time Gaby punched him in the gut during their first class. That still hurt…his ego.

"Jamal," his old sensei called out to him noticing he was watching the class.

Jamal respectfully bowed to him to which Sensei Abuba acknowledged.

"I did not know you were back in New York," Abuba said.

"I'm not, I'm visiting for a friend's party," Jamal said.

"All the way back to New York from Houston just for a party?" Abuba asked.

"Well, it's more than that," Jamal said giddy about what that was. "Anyway, I see you're still at it."

"Of course," Abuba responded, "this is still my dojo…unless someone wants to come and take it over with the other instructors."

Jamal laughed at the thought. "Nah, I think the dojo is still in good hands."

"You never know," Abuba said, "Maybe the student has surpassed the master."

"Doubt it," Jamal said.

"I see you've been working out, getting a little bulky though," Abuba said, "spending too much time in the gym." Abuba said.

Jamal thought that was a weird criticism.

"Too much muscle will affect your agility," Abuba said.

"I'm not a muscle-head," Jamal said defensively.

"I did not say that," Abuba answered amused, "I'm just giving you preemptive advice."

Sensei Abuba always had something to critique Jamal about. Jamal laughed to himself while enjoying that familiarity.

"I think we should get your body moving," Abuba said.

"What? I just got off the plane and had like five slices of piza," Jamal responded.

"Class!" Abuba yelled out.

Jamal saw the entire class stop and bow to Sensei Abuba, including the instructor.

"I want to introduce you to one of my former students, I taught him everything he knows," Abuba said proudly. "He obtained his black belt before he graduated high school."

The kids ooohed and aaaahed over Jamal, which made him feel both uncomfortable and cocky.

"I want you all to see a demonstration," Abuba said while smiling to Jamal, "How about level 1 punching and blocking to start, eh?"

Jamal relented. The two men started out demonstrating some simple blocks and punches before instinctively taking it up a notch. For a man nearing 60, Sensi Abuba had not lost his touch. Jamal was quickly evading and blocking Abuba's attacks while making sure he did not strike his sensei too hard.

Abuba then addressed the class while he was in the middle of his increasingly aggressive sparring exercise with Jamal.

"You see the way Jamal did that roundhouse kick, class? He made sure to shift the weight of his entire body into it and prepared for the landing so he could quickly back into a defensive stance because Jamal knows once you go for the offense, you leave yourself vulnerable to an opponent. You need to move your body with the same snap."

Suddenly Abuba yelled, and quickly went after Jamal's face with his elbow to which Jamal just blocked in time.

"And class, Jamal slightly let his guard down while I was speaking to you, so learn to always be alert, eh?"

Jamal suspected this was the most fun Abuba had in a while. In fact, it was the most fun Jamal had exercising in a while.

"Jamal, I'll go into the defensive, and hit me with what you have," Abuba said.

"Be careful, if you play defender, I may become your hyperspace," Jamal said.

"Ahhh…Beastie Boys, ok," Abuba said. "I counter with Santa Esmerelda; don't let me be misunderstood, I said go for it!"

Jamal then swung his arms into coordinated and exact punches and strikes to which Abuba considerately blocked or evaded.

As Abuba did that, Jamal tried to sneak in a few low-to-mid kicks as well.

 _Finally an opening_ , Jamal thought. Jamal thought if he struck at a certain angle, Abuba would have no choice by to block at a specific angle making him open to a backwards jump kick.

As Jamal executed his arm strikes, Jamal went for the jump kick but Abuba spun in the opposite direction that Jamal had anticipated and grabbed Jamal's leg pinning him to the ground face-first.

The class cheered as Jamal's ego took another hit.

Abuba then offered his hand to which Jamal gladly took. Jamal would usually sulk about being shown up that way, but Sensei Abuba was the only person who Jamal would gladly lose to.

Abuba laughed heartily and said, "I told you, if you had a little less muscle, your kick would have been higher and too quick for me to block."

Jamal rolled his eyes, to which Abuba caught and forced Jamal to demonstrate some wooden board breaking exercises in front of the class.

After class dismissed, Jamal and Abuba shared a hot tea together.

"So, you've still been practicing," Abuba stated.

"Yeah, I go to a dojo in Houston twice a week, just to keep things up," Jamal said.

"Good, keep doing it," he answered. "What's on your mind?" Abuba asked.

"Huh?" Jamal asked.

"Is that the best word for a scientist to use?" Abuba answered.

"I mean, what makes you think I have something on my mind?" Jamal asked.

Abuba only offered Jamal two raised eyebrows.

"Ok, there is something," Jamal said. "I've been talking to this girl..."

"Talking…is that some slang that means you're going steady with each other?"

"No, it just means I'm talking to her, literally."

"Ok…"

"Well, she's great. Me and her talk all the time. She's a Biology graduate student studying public health." Jamal said not helping but smile at the thought of Maha.

"I see…"

"But…" Jamal's expression grew serious.

"But?"

"But…I never met her. Granted we've only been talking for a week, but every time I ask if we could meet in person or see her picture or ask something more personal than say her professional biography, she evades."

"Playing defense, I see," Abuba said.

"Yeah," Jamal answered.

"Blocking every attempt to meet? To get closer?" Abuba said pointedly.

"I mean I get it. I live in Houston and she lives in New Orleans, and she only knows me as an Internet person and who knows how I would turn out? But I gave her my name, my bio on Rice University's website, and copies of my thesis and publications. My picture! My MySpace page...she doesn't have one.

But…she still seems scared. I don't know what I'm doing to make her so afraid. I don't think I was aggressive. I don't think I sound creepy, but you never know. I mean girls get it from all kinds, so I understand her apprehension, but honestly, this is the most meaningful potentially romantic relationship I've had in a long time."

"Jamal," Abuba finally said after taking some moments to contemplate, "don't forget to defend yourself when you're striking."

"Huh?" Jamal responded again.

"Jamal, think about it. This is an Internet person. You don't know her well."

"Oh no, I'm not being catfished or whatever. I know she is who she says she is." Jamal said less confidently than he liked.

"Again Jamal, don't get too excited about landing a blow that you forget to block and evade. Remember keep your body in motion and ready to move, even if it's away from the problem."

Jamal decided to discontinue this conversation regarding Maha with Abuba. He did not get it. He was close to 60-years-old, what did he know about modern-day Internet dating?

Still…Abuba planted something serious in Jamal's brain. What if he was letting his guard down too much with Maha. Sure they have only been "talking" for a week, but those talks would last till 2-3 am. They spoke every day, texted throughout the day, messaged each other, shared videos they found online, discussed scientific theories, discussed their upbringing, what they dream their individual futures would look like…Jamal just now realized he did most of the talking in these conversations. Maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed like Maha knew more personal information about Jamal than he knew of hers. Sure he knew where she studied, her aspirations, growing up in Minneapolis as an immigrant from Somalia, her personal conflict with being a proud Muslim but also a progressive person who supported feminism and LGBTQ rights. But she could easily do that without sharing any real personal information about her. In fact, she claimed not to have a MySpace or any other account so Jamal did not even know what she looked like yet. He has heard her voice though, and she sounds like a woman who immigrated from Somalia as a young girl.

Jamal's head was in a tailspin. Sensei Abuba did his head in, and not because he made Jamal eat mat. Abuba was right. Jamal needed to keep his guard up and not fall too heavily for her even though it was ridiculous he was falling for her already given the short amount of time he had gotten to personally know her. Still, he was with Danielle for a year-and-a-half and he already felt closer to Maha than he ever did with Danielle Young…speaking of, he did not even know Maha's last name.

* * *

"Jamal, sweetie, when are you heading out to the party?" Grandma CeCe called out from the kitchen.

"In about two hours or so," Jamal said sitting in the living room watching television.

"What?"

"IN ABOUT TWO HOURS OR SO!" Jamal yelled.

"No need to shout!" Grandma CeCe fired back.

"Sorry Grandma," Jamal replied.

"Stop yelling!" Casey said walking down the stairs Rhonda in tow.

"Hey Jamal, long time no see!" Rhonda said.

"Get your beauty sleep?" Jamal joked.

"Aww, he thinks we're beautiful!" Rhonda replied.

"I was just going to say you guys probably need another hour or so," Jamal playfully responded.

"Ha Ha!" Casey replied. She was usually quick with the jokes, but ever since she annoyed Jamal as a little girl with her joke book, she was always off her game with him.

Jamal checked his phone again and saw no text response from Maha. He knew she had class around this time and some labs, but he could not stand waiting for her to respond. He needed to hear from her. Ever since his visit to the dojo, Jamal's head was running with so many possibilities about who Maha was or who "Maha" really was. He started imagining a creepy looking man pretending to be a great girl just to yank his chain. He then realized he was imagining Calvin Ferguson doing that reminding him of the events of "To Catch a Creep" where Calvin got his cousin to pretend to be Alex's pen pal to dig some dirt on Alex to use against him when Alex ran for Class President.

"Checking your phone again?" Casey asked plopping down next to Jamal.

"Casey says you got a girlfriend," Rhonda teased plopping down next to Casey.

"No, I don't!" Jamal said curtly.

"Don't bite our heads off," Casey responded. Rhonda simply giggled indicating she was finding Jamal's discomfort amusing.

"Anyway, when do you guys want to leave for Tina's party?" Jamal asked.

"I guess we should leave twenty minutes before or something." Casey responded.

"That early? I've never been early or on-time to a party," Rhonda said.

"Oh you have something more pressing to do right now as you're just sitting here doing nothing?" Casey teased.

Rhonda rolled her eyes at Casey and then turned her attention to Jamal.

"I think it's sweet you have a little pen pal to chat with," Rhonda said. "Honestly, if I hadn't met Dmitri I would have tried online dating. Nobody at UChicago interests me."

"Really, none of the thousands of students there interest you?" Jamal said finding that hard to believe.

"Believe it," Rhonda said patting her head with her palms.

"I'm sure they're tons of great guys there," Jamal responded.

"They're all nerdy and geeky like you," Casey responded.

"Oh, so that means they're all catches, then!" Jamal replied playfully hitting Casey with a pillow.

"Hey!" Casey laughed. Jamal and Casey then entered into their own pillow fight. Casey invited Rhonda to join in, but Rhonda said "Hell no! I just did these nails and my hair..." which prompted Casey to attack her with a pillow resulting in Rhonda joining in the three-way pillow fight.

"Now, if you _children_ are finished," Grandma CeCe said looking sternly at her grandchildren at the door way.

"Sorry Grandma!" Jamal and Casey said.

"What they said," Rhonda said giggling.

Grandma CeCe offered a smile. "So, will there be any dancing at this party?"

"Most likely," Jamal answered. "Every time we all get together, there's always dancing involved."

"And the irony that Alex is co-hosting a party with dancing is not lost on us," Casey added.

"You sure you don't want to come Grandma?" Jamal asked.

"Yeah Mrs. Jenkins, I know it'll be fun!" Rhonda said.

"Oh no, 8:00 pm is too late for a party start time for me. Besides, nobody wants their seventy…I mean sixty year old grandma hanging out."

"We do when it's you," Casey said.

"Yeah, Dad on the other hand…" Jamal quickly added.

"Ok…that's sweet, but I need to sleep. Boy I need to sleep more than I used to, you three enjoy your youth while you can. But, if you want me to enjoy a party…"

Grandma CeCe then turned on the stereo to a station playing Aretha Franklin's "Respect". "Now I want you all to start showing me some of the dance moves you'll be doing tonight. Come on now!" Grandma CeCe start grooving to the song.

Jamal could not help himself when this song came on. He took a remote control and started lip synching to Aretha Franklin.

Rhonda and Casey joined Grandma CeCe in playing the "back up singers."

"That's right Jamal, let me see you move that body!"

As the song ended, a sweaty Jamal rushed to his cell phone when it started ringing. Maha was calling.

"Oh, sorry Grandma, I have to take this." Jamal said running up the stairs.

* * *

"Well, what's got into his home fries?" Grandma CeCe wondered.

"Oh, it's his girlfriend," Casey said dancing to The Temptations' "My Girl".

"Girlfriend?! Really?!" Grandma CeCe asked.

"Really!" Rhonda replied.

"Well, how can I compete with that? I'm only his grandmother. Say…do you two know anything about her?"

"Nope," both Casey and Rhonda replied as if they were creepy clones.

 _Those two certainly have morphed into one person,_ Grandma CeCe thought.

"Well, do me a favor, find out what you can, but respect his privacy too!"

"How do you expect us to do that?" Rhonda asked.

"I know what she means," Casey added. "She wants us to make Jamal tell us without us snooping."

"That sounds like an interrogation," Rhonda said.

"No no, nothing like that. I just want you get Jamal to let his guard down and want to share his happiness with those who love him the most."

"Okay Grandma…" Casey said shaking her head in mock disapproval. Truth was, Casey also wanted to know more. She had a cousin to protect.

* * *

"Hey, Maha!" Jamal answered nearly out of breath.

"Did you just come back from the treadmill?" Maha asked clearly amused by the sound of her voice.

"No no, I was just going up the stairs to answer your call," Jamal said.

"Just know that next time, you don't have to rush. You can simply call me back, it's easy," Maha said.

_Does she not know how crazy I am about her? Does she not wait with anticipation like I do when she gets a call or text from me? Does she not find all this phone tag unbearable too?_

"Yeah, you're right, I wasn't running to answer your call or anything. I was coming from a work out and…" Jamal replied playing it super cool and smooth.

"Ok cool guy," Maha said. "I got the picture."

 _I'm an idiot!_ Jamal thought.

"Anyway, I just wanted to call and see if you had time to chat before my lab?"

"Oh yeah, I can chat. My plans tonight don't start for a few hours anyway," Jamal said trying to sound as aloof as possible.

"Good," Maha said simply.

Jamal enjoyed another conversation connecting with Maha and listening to more stories about her family and upbringing. He had wanted to ask more personal questions after his meeting with Sensei Abuba, but he was simply enjoying hearing the sound of her cute voice and accent too much that he did not want to ruin that.

"It's good to hear your voice," Jamal said blunty after Maha finished regaling him with a story of growing up playing soccer on concrete.

"Same here," Maha answered. "I mean, it's good to hear your voice, for me. I love your accent."

 _What accent?_ Jamal thought.

"So you said you were dancing just now?" Maha asked.

"Uh…yeah…" Jamal said bashfully.

"I'd like to see how your body moves some time," Maha said.

 _Gulp!_ "Really?...I mean yeah of course, I can show you some time," Jamal said desperately trying to change the tone of his voice from nervous nelly to cool dude.

"Ok, well...we can talk about meeting some time," Maha said giggling. "Oh, I also sent you my picture via a link to your PM on the message board."

Jamal quickly opened his laptop while continuing to keep Maha on the line through mundane conversation. Jamal was cursing that he had shut down his computer forcing him to wait for it to boot before he got any computer action. Once the computer finally loaded, he clicked on Maha's Photobucket link and saw what he thought was an incredibly gorgeous, darker-sinned young woman wearing a hijab. Her eyes were big and bright.

It took everything in Jamal's power not to scream "ARUGA!"

* * *

**PART 5: PAPER PLANES**

_I fly like paper, get high like planes  
_ _If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name  
I_ _f you come around here, I make 'em all day  
_ _I get one done in a second if you wait  
_ _I fly like paper, get high like planes  
_ _If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name  
_ _If you come around here, I make 'em all day  
_ _I get one done in a second if you wait  
_ _Sometimes I think sittin' on trains  
_ _Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game  
_ _Everyone's a winner, we're making our fame  
_ _Bona fide hustler making my name  
_ _Sometimes I think sittin' on trains  
_ _Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game  
_ _Everyone's a winner, we're making our fame  
_ _Bona fide hustler making my name_

_Pirate skulls and bones  
_ _Sticks and stones and weed and bongs  
_ _Running when we hit 'em  
_ _Lethal poison for the system  
_ _Pirate skulls and bones  
_ _Sticks and stones and weed and bongs  
_ _Running when we hit 'em  
_ _Lethal poison for the system  
_ _No one on the corner has swagger like us  
_ _Hit me on my burner prepaid wireless  
_ _We pack and deliver like UPS trucks  
_ _Already going to hell, just pumping that gas  
_ _No one on the corner has swagger like us  
_ _Hit me on my burner prepaid wireless  
_ _We pack and deliver like UPS trucks  
_ _Already going to hell, just pumping that gas_

_M.I.A  
_ _Third world democracy  
_ _Yeah, I've got more records than the KGB  
_ _So, uh, no funny business  
_ _Are you ready all?_

_Some some some I some I murder  
_ _Some I some I let go  
_ _Some some some I some I murder  
_ _Some I some I let go_

_All I wanna do is  
_ _And a  
_ _And take your money  
_ _All I wanna do is  
_ _And a  
_ _And take your money  
_ _All I wanna do is  
_ _And a  
_ _And take your money  
_ _All I wanna do is  
_ _And a  
_ _And take your money_

\- M.I.A.

Alex walked entered the 90th precinct where he was greeted by a few of his fellow officers asking him what he was doing there on his vacation. He just shrugged his shoulders and said he was called in regarding one of the cases he thought was transferred to the Auto Crime Division.

One of the newer officers with a classic Italian-American Long Island accent, who Alex recognized as one of the cops who snickered at him at the gym when Alex was preening himself in front of the mirror, slapped Alex's back and told him that he would like to box with him at the gym one day in order for Alex to show him some moves - referring to Alex's fist fight with Detective Chris Francola that past Monday night. Previously, Alex thought the newer officer would have been mocking him, but Officer Frank Mazzeo seemed to gain a genuine respect for Alex and was seriously asking to train with him. Alex told Officer Mazzeo to hit him up some time and they could work out together. Officer Mazzeo responded with another friendly slap to Alex's back before going back on patrol.

Before he made his way to greet Yvette, Alex overheard Deputy Inspector Isaiah McQuade screaming loudly on the telephone and mentioning Alex's name. Although Alex wondered why he was called in today by Yvette as today was the first day of his vacation, he was curious about this, and eavesdropped.

"Yeah, I know he's a little hot-headed, but I think he's the man for the case. This is big, and the fact that he speaks Spanish would be a plus…yeah I know speaking Spanish isn't too special nowadays, but I believe in this kid. Have I or he himself let you down in the past, Inspector? That's right, he has one of the best records this department has seen from someone so young, so what if he likes to showboat a bit, I mean he's young. Yes it may look like he fast tracked his way to Detective-Investigator, but look at his record. It's great because he started out young. How young? Try around eleven-years-old. Yeah, he and his friends, I don't know how they did it, but really saved many of our cases around Fort Greene when I was at the 88th Precinct.…yeah, uh huh…well, he's on vacation today, but he's coming in to discuss another case…so I'll talk to him about it…yeah, thank you Inspector O'Brien."

Overhearing that conversation, Alex was reminded that he did start out young and was still young at the age of twenty-five. It felt like yesterday when he first entered the police academy in Queens like everyone else. All of his friends had many a laugh when they imagined him to be Steve Guttenberg in the movie _Police Academy_. Jamal had hoped that Alex would meet a beat-boxing black man who could make various sound effects with his mouth. No such luck for Alex.

"Det. Fernández, you're here!" McQuade said when he caught Alex spying on him. McQuade just chuckled. "Can you come in here please?" commanded McQuade.

Alex knew better than to disobey the Deputy Inspector even if Yvette had been waiting for him. "Yes, Deputy Inspector McQuade?"

"Alex, Alex…" said the portly black man. Alex noticed that McQuade's mustache was even grayer now than it had been a few days ago. "I bet you're wondering what that phone call was about."

Alex could not deny it. McQuade always had some surprise up his sleeve for him these days. The latest surprise was the news that he was transferring to the Major Case Squad in Manhattan. He had been told that he and Yvette will get one last case at the 90th precinct before Alex's transfer. To say he was eager to learn what his next case was would be an understatement.

"Well, we think we hit something big here…huge. You know the difficulty we're having in prosecuting illegal aliens in our area since many of them are being housed by naturalized or American-born citizens?"

"Yeah," Alex answered, uncomfortable where this was going. Although Alex had a respect for law and order, he did not like the way the conversation regarding undocumented migrants seemed to head these days. Alex understood that immigration policies have become increasingly tight and strict after 9/11 and with INS turning into USCIS, resulting in it no longer being under the Department of the State but under the Department of Homeland Security thus changing the whole conversation and views towards undocumented migrants and immigrants in general.

Alex also did not buy into what he considered to be the myths of immigration. He knew that immigrants were easy scapegoats for people to blame all their domestic ills on as it was easier to make up a single enemy to fight rather than recognize that all problems humans face are a result of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.

Alex also understood the unequal immigration quotas and treatment based on country of origin led to many fleeing to the United States as opposed to waiting to do things "the legal way". Alex understood for many of the people fleeing, they could not wait because it was a matter of life or death. Alex even sympathized with those who only came here to make a better life for themselves, as he heard countless stories from his parents about living conditions there.

There was also a personal reason why Alex sympathized with so-called "illegal immigrants." Not many people knew that his mother and father were actually "illegal immigrants" who fled violence in El Salvador.* Not many people fleeing El Salvador in the 1970s and 1980s and who illegally crossed the American border were granted legal status, but his parents were one of the few who did. They were able to prove that going back to El Salvador would have resulted in his father's murder. Not many were as lucky and were either deported back facing a dire fate or forced to live in the shadows in this country.

Crossing the border illegally was the reason why they first settled in El Paso, Texas where Alex was actually born. The timing of Estella's pregnancy was the only reason why Alex himself was an American citizen as Estella had actually been pregnant with Alex when they made their trip to cross the American border. Had he been born a few months earlier, he too would have been considered an "illegal immigrant". His whole life could have been different had his parents not received asylum and thus legal status as he was not born in the United States.

This was something Alex and Gaby still hid from the rest of the team, only telling Ghostwriter, Hector, and Tina. Tina was sympathetic as she already had sympathy for people desperate enough to seek a better life in the United States as her parents had done with Tuan, risking their lives by illegally leaving Vietnam by boat and being aided by her uncle Liam to come into the United States.* She told Alex the only difference between her parents' situation and his and Gaby's parents' situation was how the U.S. had a program to accept the huge number of Vietnamese refugees whereas his parents were not so lucky. Alex and Gaby still did not figure out why they resisted telling the rest of the team as they knew the team would be accepting and understood the way Tina had done. It was most likely due to fearing how their parents' original immigration status would change the way they viewed Eduardo and Estella.

*( **A/N** : this was actually established in one of the Ghostwriter books, _The Team: On and Off the Set_ , but not discussed in the show, so I took "canon B" and implemented it into this story).

"Don't worry, we're obviously not going after any immigrants if that is what you're worried about. However, this deals with them. Well, I need to explain." McQuade said.

McQuade then called Yvette and fellow detective Daniel O'Leary into the office. "I asked you three here today because we need you three to do something that requires the utmost confidentiality.

That 2005 Lexus RX330 you did the initial report on Det. Fernandez, well…you made an interesting note. First off, that car was being stolen by a group of smugglers who were looking to sell it in Europe, so your initial hunch was right about that. The corrupt dock workers already had that vin number on their records to steal. What those smugglers did not know was that the vehicle they had stolen belonged to somebody tied to something totally different.

You noted the mileage of the vehicle having consistent numbers with the mileage of round trips between New York and the Texas border if you divided it by four, which is unusual for a 2005 model since we're only in September 2005, right? We found out the owner of the car paid cash for it. He's the one who we're interrogating now. He's not squealing - simply playing the victim of a car theft. But…we think it's tied to a two-year internal investigation the NYPD has been conducting against members of the Vice Enforcement Division."

Alex knew the Vice Enforcement Division dealt with cases centered upon individuals or organizations that are involved in human trafficking, prostitution, and Internet crimes against children, focusing on victim-based crimes. That was one division Alex never wanted to join as he did not like the idea of arresting prostitutes for attempting to make a living. In fact, many of Tina's subjects in her documentary worked as prostitutes to sustain a living as they were not "hirable" due to their inability to "cover" or "pass" as the gender they identified and/or expressed themselves as. Yvette and Alex had long conversations about legalizing and heavily regulating prostitution and not conflating those who are willingly participating in the sex trade for survival with actual human trafficking victims. They felt it would be better for all involved to legalize and regulate prostitution, so that they could solely focus on sexual slavery of all kinds.

"You see, a lot of NYPD officers are involved in prostitution and gambling rings. Many active NYPD officers would romp with prostitutes as a form of payment for informing the mastermind of these rings, pimps, and other people in charge with information on active and ongoing investigations. This prevents us from being able to stop these crimes, but it also allows these people to stay a few steps ahead. We have reason to believe that many of the prostitutes are illegal aliens…"

Det. Daniel O'Leary spoke up, "With all due respect sir, could we not call them 'illegal aliens'? My girlfriend has been teaching me about how problematic that language is and…"

Yvette and Alex turned to each other impressed with Daniel. They felt the same way but because they were officers of color, they felt they only had so many opportunities to raise issues before they started looking like "whiney problem officers".

McQuade laughed and said, "Ok, you're right. Sorry, try teaching an old dog new tricks. Anyway, we think a lot of the prostitutes are being trafficked here from other countries and driven from Texas to New York to work in cop-protected brothels all over Brooklyn and Queens."

"If we catch the cops," Alex interrupted, "what's going to happen to the victims who have been trafficked? Will they be charged for prostitution and then deported?"

"Alex, I can't guarantee what will happen to them, but if they were truly trafficked, we can recommend a few legal organizations to help them apply for visas. There's a specific one for trafficking victims that they can obtain if they are willing to testify against the bigger fish. That's your style, right Fernandez?"

Alex liked the sound of that.

"The reason I'm calling you three here is that we want you working together to investigate a great number of officers for their involvement in these rings and see how far their involvement goes. This is privileged, so nobody in this room can tell anybody what you are working on obviously as someone here in this precinct may tell someone and ruin this whole thing. We trust you three because we've been watching how you work and have observed your temperament. We believe you three are the best to work on this case for a variety of reasons.

Alex, your application to the Hate Crimes Task Force shows you care about this sort of work and getting these women out of helpless situations when they came here trying to escape from one. We also know that although you can be hot-headed and lose your temper, it's never against someone who is a vulnerable person, including suspects. You have shown a sensitivity towards suspects and victims alike who are more vulnerable. Also, your ability to speak Spanish will help us get many of the prostitutes to feel safe and thus be more willing to speak. You also pay attention to details most detectives miss and are able to synthesize all of the facts into a narrative that makes sense. That has led to your stellar track record."

Alex was more than ready to take this case on. He knew the dangers that traffickers put those poor immigrants through in order to get into this country. Considering the packed boxcars going through Central America to life-threatening tunnels and dangerous wires and traps set by members of anti-immigrant militant groups near the Texas border, Alex wanted to go after those who preyed on desperate people simply seeking a better life only to find themselves in another hell. The fact that it was his fellow officers that were furthering their pain when they took an oath to uphold law and justice made Alex's blood boil. Why wasn't the world better than that? He only hoped that this internal investigation would not result in deportation for those who were running away from worse situations. He made sure to ask Hector and other people he knew which lawyers could help any of his witnesses obtain a T-Visa (trafficking visa).

McQuade continued, "Yvette, let's be real, people underestimate people with our skin color. You also have an excellent rapport with the other squad members and they trust you, so they will speak freely with you not even noticing you're listening to them. They won't know you will be investigating them. We know you can handle it because you really listen and are observant. You're able to take that information and analyze it so that we can figure out how the pieces fit. We also think you can provide a sympathetic sight for many of the victims who are willing to speak.

Daniel…again, let's be real. People who look like you get assumed to be one of the boys. That will make any corrupt cops be willing to speak to you as if you're interested in being part of the ring. But we know you. You've been a detective longer than Fernandez and Thomas here. You have an established reputation and we can trust you to do what's right. You also have shown a methodological investigative style that we think can help crack this investigation, and you have a deep emotional intelligence that we know you won't be interested in furthering the corruption against these victims."

Yvette, Daniel, and Alex all looked at each other both embarrassed by the accolades McQuade had given them but also proud that people have noticed the work they have done.

"We also know you three work remarkably well together, so we know that will be useful. You three will only work together on your own small part of the bigger internal investigation and only speak to each other and then me over what you find. Got it?"

"Got it," all three said.

"Fernandez, sorry for doing this to you on your first day of vacation, but we would like you to stay and watch at least a few hours of the interrogation and wait for the clerks to provide you copies of all the files we have. They don't know what's in the package, but they are waiting for one from the ones in charge of the investigation. Once they receive it, they have strict orders to hand it to you sealed. You can tell if its been tampered with." McQuade added

* * *

After leaving, Alex spoke to Yvette and Daniel in a private, isolated room.

"Well, I hope hearing all the praise from McQuade was worth you coming in during your vacation for," Yvette joked.

"It certainly was," Alex said a little too proud of himself. "But I can't believe he's giving us all these files for us to review during my vacation."

"At least you can look at them during your vacation, Daniel and I are still working on our cases while conducting this one on the sly," Yvette responded.

"Man, Fernandez, what a case to end on before your transfer, huh?" Daniel said smiling broadly that he was put on this case with two detectives he had the utmost respect for.

"Yeah, for real. Anyway, we should celebrate together," Alex said. "What are you guys doing tonight?"

Both Yvette and Daniel said they planned to leave at around 9:00 pm and spend time with their partners.

"Why don't you guys come to my house tonight? Tina and I are cooking a bit of food and we'd love some extra mouths to feed. Invite Thalia and Erica. We'd love to have them come too!"

Both Daniel and Yvette happily accepted knowing full well their schedules were free.

Alex was on cloud nine as he walked around the 90th precinct halls in his sunglasses. He then remembered he needed to stop by the store to pick up the beer, the cooler, some ice, and probably extra disposable plates and cutlery.

**PART 6: I'M FALLING FOR YOU**

_Holy sweet goddamn  
_ _You left your cello in the basement  
_ _I admired the glowing stars  
_ _And tried to play a tune  
_ _I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true  
_ _What could you possibly see in little ol' three chord me?  
_ _But I do like you and you like me too  
_ _I'm ready, let's do it, baby_

_But I'm shaking at your touch, I like you way too much  
_ _My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you  
_ _I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive  
_ _Or maybe I would rather settle down with you, oh_

\- Weezer

Hector sat in his dorm-provided single desk going over a case for Monday's Contracts lecture. With his laptop in hand, Hector was painstakingly going over his case brief, trying to parse down his original draft so his notes would not be too cumbersome. Hector turned and watched Ollie sitting crisscrossed on Hector's thin, low-quality, single-sized dorm mattress while also going over the same Contracts case and handwriting his own notes on a notebook while wearing nothing but an unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt and his unbelievably clean looking bright white high-quality Zimmerli boxer-briefs. Hector was not sure how, but Ollie and Hector had shared that mattress every night since Ollie had picked up from the alumni gala last Friday.

Hector eyed a Barney's shopping bag on the corner of his room. Ollie bought him some sleep and loungewear with some socks and underwear. Ollie said he was there sprucing up his own wardrobe and "simply figured might as well do some shopping for his best amigo." Hector did not feel comfortable at all with Ollie's habit of casually buying Hector things. First, it made him wonder how many times did he do that with his other "amigos". Second, it made Hector wonder if Ollie was passive-aggressively hinting that he disapproved of Hector's much cheaper clothing. Third, it just made it more obvious how different they were with regard to what their spending habits were like.

In an earlier conversation, Ollie justified his purchases by saying Hector insisted on paying for a few meals and drinks this week, so this was nothing. He also mentioned it was only Barney's not the actual flagship brand stores, so this was discount for him. He then compared both of their financial situations and said if anything, Hector had paid more than he had with gifts once they adjusted for that. That did not make Hector feel better.

Deciding it was better to turn and concentrate on his work, Hector turned back towards his case brief. Then suddenly, Hector felt Ollie's tongue on his ear lobe.

"Stop!" Hector said while laughing as Ollie moved on to his neck.

"Love that you're still so ticklish…" Ollie whispered as he continued nibbling on Hector's neck.

Hector weakly protested as Ollie took that as a signal to go deeper as he started caressing Hector's inner thigh area and moved on to Hector's mouth.

"Come on, I just caught you looking at me. I'm the vulnerable one since I'm the one not fully dressed."

"Ollie, I need to finish the readings before we head to the party tonight."

Then just as quickly Ollie started, Ollie stopped and went back to the mattress to start outlining his cases.

 _What was the matter? I did want Ollie to stop but not that fast,_ Hector thought. Hector gave Ollie a puzzled look to which Ollie caught.

"What's wrong?" Hector asked.

"It's nothing," Ollie said going back to his notebook.

"Seriously," Hector replied.

Ollie then stopped what he was doing and looked at Hector straight on. "I never said I was going to go to your friend's party," Ollie said.

Hector was confused because he had been talking about this party all week. He assumed since Ollie had spent the entire week with him that he would be interested in going as well.

"I guess you didn't," Hector said. "But, what are you going to do when I leave?"

"I'll just head back home."

"Ok," Hector said not wanting to ruin the good time they were having this past week. But something was gnawing at him. "You made it seem like you were going. I mean I even forwarded you the address from Tina's initial email." Hector wanted to find out if Ollie only wanted to be together at this law school. What if they had went to a bigger law school that had more people from Ollie's community? Would Ollie not have even been interested? Meeting his friends was a huge gesture on Hector's part to invite him to be a true part of his life. It may have been too fast Hector now worried.

"I don't know where you got that idea from," Ollie replied. "You spoke about it and I just listened. I never affirmatively said I would go."

"Do you want an invitation or something?"

"That's not necessary," Ollie said.

Hector got the hint and then just went back to case briefing for another hour and a half with Ollie doing the same.

Needing a break, Hector got up to fetch a glass of water when he turned towards the mattress expecting to see Ollie also tired from reading and briefing only to find Ollie was watching a movie with headphones on his laptop. Ollie's whole nonchalant attitude towards law school had been sort of cute at first because Ollie had the type of unaware demeanor to pull it off, but now Hector was simply annoyed.

"How long have you been watching a movie?" Hector asked.

Ollie did not hear him so Hector ended up gesturing wildly to get Ollie's attention. Ollie finally looked up and started laughing heartedly nearly bowling over.

"Amigo, you're really are loco, you know?" Ollie finally said as his laughter subsided.

 _Amigo_ , Hector thought. When did that become Ollie's pet name for him? Did Ollie know what amigo meant?

"No puedo creerte. Nunca te tomas nada en serio." Hector said exasperated.

"Hold on…no comprende." Ollie said waving his hands.

"No _comprendo_! If you're going to casually add Spanish when you talk to me then use the right conjugations!"

"Hey hey, what's wrong?"

"I just can't believe you're so casual about this!" Hector shouted louder than he intended.

"What am I casual about?" Ollie asked with a serious look of confusion.

"School!" Hector blurted.

"Is that what we're arguing about?" Ollie said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Oliver!"

"Oliver? Are you my mother reprimanding me now?" Ollie answered with a mix of frustration and amusement. Hector was tired of being amusing to Ollie.

"Uno momento, does your mother reprimand you?" Hector asked his tone shifting from frustration to genuine worry.

"What are we talking about now?" Ollie replied.

"Your whole casual attitude about everything…about school, about buying things for me, about us…" Hector started saying

"Who's casual?" Ollie interrupted.

"You are. For school for instance…"

"Just because I'm not killing myself psychologically does not mean I treat it casually…I just know how to pace myself and know the only thing that matters is our exam at the end."

"But I never see you study. This week for instance, we've been having a lot of fun, but when I study I never see you do it."

"Are you keeping tabs on me now? Are you just watching me and judging me? I had enough at that at home, I thought you were different."

"No, it's not that, it's just that I'm concerned."

"Well, hold your concern ok. I never asked for it."

"You can't just expect me not to care, Ollie!"

Hector sat next to Ollie. Ollie shifted away from Hector which hurt deeper than Hector had imagined. Being with Ollie in this way for just a week had already pressed a deep print onto Hector's heart. He had fallen for him despite his frustrations with being with someone so different. Hector did not know if this was real or if he was simply inexperienced and was taking this way too fast. Whatever it was, Hector felt it.

"Ask me a question…any question about any subject matter." Ollie finally responded.

"Ok, tell me what consideration is right now," Hector demanded even though Hector still was not sure how to properly define consideration.

"Ok," Ollie said. "Consideration is a benefit which must be bargained for between the two parties and is the essential reason for a party entering into a contract. It must be something of value to the parties, like payment or money or performance, and is exchanged for the performance or promise of a performance by the other party. Otherwise, without consideration, you don't have a legally enforceable contract and it can be void."

"Oh ok…" Hector trailed off before Ollie interrupted.

"Consideration must exist on both sides of a contract although the benefit of the consideration generally need not flow to all parties. If only one party is bound to perform, then the promise is illusory and is unenforceable. However, a court may supply an implied promise based on the facts to infer mutuality. The forms of consideration are performance - doing something you're not legally obligated to do, forbearance – not doing something you are legally entitled to do, promise to perform, promise to forbear….now past consideration…"

"Ay! Enough! Solo estás presumiendo ahora." Hector said in response.

"What did you say?" Ollie asked now back to being amused.

"You're just showing off," Hector said frustrated that Ollie who seemed to work half as much as he did seemed to have a tighter grasp on the subject matter.

Hector could not hide his anger at this. He wanted to hedge his bets and test him on something else, but he did not want to run the risk of being shown up by Ollie again.

Ollie then kissed Hector on the nose. "You're really cute when you look angry especially when you speak Spanish."

"Ay! Dios mio!" Hector responded. "Wait, you sounded like Black Law's dictionary, or a very good commercial outline. How do you know all this stuff when you seem to slack off so much?"

"I do read Hector. I just don't make myself go crazy. And it's nothing really. I come from a family of lawyers."

"Really?" Hector asked. Every time Hector asked Ollie about his family, he made it seemed like they were these tight-assed repressed WASPs who just reprimanded Ollie and forced him to have a certain life he did not want. That could still be true, but at least he had more information.

"Yeah, my Dad is a lawyer, my mom is a lawyer, my paternal grandfather is a lawyer as is my paternal grandmother…boy did she have it tough….my older brother is a lawyer, his wife is a lawyer, my older sister is a lawyer, her husband…"

"Uh…where did they go to school? Where do they work now?" Hector asked suddenly feeling extremely under qualified to be in the same school as Ollie..

"Anyway, I've been exposed to all of this since as long as I can remember and when my older siblings were in law school, they made me help them study using flash cards and stuff and then they tested me. So, I've just been exposed, that's all."

"Ok but…" Hector said now fully grasping Ollie's comments about going to CUNY Law as an act of rebellion when he probably could have went to Yale, Harvard, UPenn, or Columbia.

"I'm tired of talking about them," Ollie said putting a stop to this line of questioning.

"Ok. But how come you never participate in class or you never contribute to any of our study group discussions?"

"Well, I'm not in your study group," Ollie said.

"Yeah but you're just around all of the time," Hector said.

"Well, that was because…" Ollie started to say before shifting closer to Hector aiming for his favorite earlobe.

"But." Hector said lightly pushing Ollie away. "You could have helped me out a few times when were studying...when I was stuck you know?"

"But then how would you learn? I'm always confident you'll get it sooner or later. You always try really hard to get it even when you're far from getting it," Ollie said.

"Gee, thanks," Hector said.

"I meant that as a compliment. Law school is not like any other graduate or even undergraduate program. It's not about how much you know before getting here, it's about the work you put in after you get in."

"Well, that's not true considering how you don't seem have to work as hard as I do and you just know things more than I do," Hector replied.

"Ouch amigo, you're starting to hurt my feelings," Ollie said.

Hector realized that was pretty harsh. Honestly, before this week, Hector had no idea how Ollie spent his nights. Maybe he was reading and studying hard and Hector was prejudicially assuming things about him. Or maybe Hector had imagined Ollie having this jet set "real" life of hanging out with other rich kids every night.

"I'm sorry, Ollie, I didn't mean it, I'm just angry at myself for being so dumb. The way I can't get this _informacion_. I just think…I'd be no good to anybody I wanted to help," Hector admitted.

"Hey, you're not dumb," Ollie said, taking Hector by the shoulders and looking intently into his eyes. "I never thought you were. I think you're incredibly smart, Hector. I think you just have to work harder because this whole thing is new to you, like a foreign language. But once you get something, you get it and will continue to get it. And I think it might take longer for you but that's because you want to fully understand it. That's the opposite of dumb. And you will help people. I know you will. And I can help you…if you ask for it." Ollie replied before taking another chance to go after Hector's ear lobe.

This time Hector allowed Ollie's mouth to go wherever he wanted before Ollie laid Hector's body flat on his back on the bed. Whatever doubts Hector had about the future potential of someone like Oliver Bradford being with someone like Hector Carrero, it did not matter now. Hector had fallen for him as is. _What did Ollie see in him?_ Hector wondered.

One hour later, Ollie's head rested on Hector's chest while Ollie moved his face closer to Hector's - snuggling his face against Hector's cheek. Hector figured out that although Ollie was the dominant top and the much taller of the two, when it came to sleeping positions, Hector was the nurturing one who had to adapt to Ollie using Hector's body as cushion to clutch onto. This whole week made Hector feel like he was Ollie's teddy bear. He hoped he was not just a substitute for one.

Speaking of teddy bears, Hector pinched some flab on his stomach. Ay! He had been slacking off with his work outs, especially with all the expensive and calorie-laden take-out Ollie had purchased for Hector this week while Ollie always grabbed something low carb containing lots of vegetables. Hector observed Ollie's tone, lean, and light-skinned body with his slight six-pack abs, then compared it to his own brown, hairier, less-tone one. Hector did not like this comparison. Was Ollie Hansel and Gretel-ing him? _I needed to go to the gym!_ Hector exclaimed to himself.

Hector checked the time. Crap, it was a quarter to six. After what Ollie did to his body, Hector needed to shower and get ready to head to the party. The train ride was only about thirty-five to forty minutes, but it was super annoying. He had to take the Brooklyn-bound F to Herald Square then transfer to the N or R then transfer at Atlantic Avenue to take the 4. One transfer was annoying enough, but two? Why didn't more trains go from North-South from Queens to Brooklyn and vice versa? Everything had to go through Manhattan.

Hector rushed up, waking Ollie up from what looked to Hector was a sweet dream as Ollie had the widest smile on his face. On his way out of the room, Hector saw Ollie confused expression behind his dark blond wavy shaggy locks looking to his left facing the wall and then the right before looking straight forward.

"Hey, Amigo, where are you going?" Ollie called finally coming to.

"It's a quarter to six, Ollie. I have to get ready. Are you still not coming?" Hector asked listening outside and realizing that one of his three roommates was using the bathroom.

"Nah, I think I'm going to sit this one out," Ollie said lying back down wanting to sleep.

Hector felt some anger rising up inside of him.

"Por qué?" Hector asked plainly.

"I just don't feel comfortable meeting a whole group of your friends," Ollie admitted. "The way you talk about them and everything you guys been through, and meeting Gaby last Friday and hearing the way you guys talk about your past with that blonde guy with the creepy eyes, it seems like it'll be a lot."

"Fine," Hector said, angry that Ollie may still be seeing this as a friends-with-benefits or no-strings-attached situation while he had fallen for Ollie. It was Ollie who went after him after all. Who peppered him with attention since orientation, who made sure to sit next to him in every class, who spoke with him every day, who bought him like $60-85 underwear, and a $275 pajama set with $80 white v-necks, not to mention the patterned socks, and expensive dinners…Gosh, now he felt like Ollie's mistress…

"Hey, are you ok?" Ollie asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hector answered.

"You don't look fine," Ollie asked looking as if he was getting annoyed himself.

"No, it's fine, we're just amigos right? We don't need to expect anything more from each other. We're fine with whatever _this_ is and then when we get tired of it we'll just move on…yo comprendo. Tú comprendes?" Hector said.

Just then Ollie rushed out of bed and grabbed his clothes, socks, and shoes while packing his casebooks into his black Dior calfskin grained briefcase. "Yeah I comprendo!" Ollie said harshly as he just walked out of Hector's room not fully dressed but too angry to care.

"Wait, Ollie!" Hector yelled out. He thought he had sounded so cool with telling Ollie off, but now he regretted it. It was too late as Ollie stormed out of Hector's dorm with an "hasta luego".

_Well, shit!_

"Everything ok, Hector?" asked Hector's roommate Charles as he poked his head out of the room.

"Yeah, is everything ok between you and Ollie?" asked Mina, Hector's classmate, who surprisingly also popped her head out of Charles' room. _What was she doing here?_

Hector just then realized that he wasn't hearing much in the way of clothing. He said a quick "yeah" before rushing back into his room. He then heard the toilet flush in the bathroom. His other roommate Steve said it was all his.

Before Hector could use the shower, his other roommate Ahmed rushed into the bathroom apologizing to Hector but telling him it was an emergency.

By the time Hector showered, dressed, and groomed for the party, it was already nearly 7:00 pm. Hector made his way to the 21 St. Queens bridge station waiting for the F train. This whole time, he could not help but think about Ollie. Hector had texted him apologizing for what he said even though Hector did not feel he was the only one who should have apologized. Ollie did not answer Hector. Despite being underground and having no signal, Hector looked in vain for a message from Ollie.

Suddenly, a familiar figure stood next to him.

"Oh hey, Jae-Sun!" Hector said, trying his best to not look as though he was in pain.

"Hi, Hector," Jae-Sun replied.

"Where are you going?" Hector asked.

"Meeting some old friends in K-Town."

"I suspect they're not from law school," Hector said.

"Hence I said _old_ friends," Jae-Sun said bluntly.

"How old are they?" Hector joked.

Jae-Sun made a sound that indicated his annoyance.

"What are you doing in K-Town?" Hector asked.

"Probably going to go eat at Itaewon, then make our way to either Krush or 3rd Floor and then end at Maru."

"Oh cool! That sounds fun," Hector replied having way too much fun imagining sullen Jae-Sun having fun.

"3rd Floor gets pretty ratchet but it can be chill if you want it to be. My friends love Maru so I go for them, but I don't really like a club scene like that. I prefer it we just spent the night drinking at Krush."

"Did you just say _ratchet_?" Hector asked.

"Anyway," Jae-Sun interrupted. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?!" Hector responded. If he had a drink he would have done a dramatic spit take.

"You and Oliver have been spending all of your time together," Jae-Sun said dryly.

"Oh well, I guess we have. But he had plans, and I'm going to a party with some _old_ friends of mine too in Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn is the new spot for kids these days," Jae-Sun said with some disdain.

"Excuse you, but me and my friends are from Brooklyn, we didn't just move there," Hector responded wondering why Jae-Sun said kids as if he was like thirty years older than they were when it was clearly he at most was about five years older.

"Technically, you did. You did not come there until you were about ten-years-old, right?" Jae-Sun asked.

"Wow, you've been listening to me speak?" Hector asked.

"Ugh," Jae-Sun responded.

Hector admired Jae-Sun's dress sense. Unlike Ollie who dressed in nice and expensive button downs or sweaters or button-down/sweater combinations with seriously nice trousers and oxfords, here Jae-Sun wore a black muscle shirt with an open buttoned black long-sleeved shirt that was rolled up to his elbows showing off his tattoos with black ripped jeans and nice black boots. Jae-Sun's shiny long black hair was pulled back in a slicker fashion than usual so it only fell down to his lower neck as opposed the almost disheveled hair he usually had that fell past his shoulders. This hair was even more sleek than it had been at the gala when it was pulled into a nice, neat bun. Hector noticed he also had some chest tattoos as well. Hector was then jealous that he could never pull that look off.

Hector felt Jae-Sun noticed Hector admiring his clothes and hair and tattoos, so he quickly looked the other way. Not sure what to do, he started to whistle Lenni's song "You Gotta Believe" for some reason. This then lead Hector to start doing some of the less obvious dance moves from the video he did with her, Gaby, and Jamal. _Hey, I still remember…I wonder if I can convince them to do the dance with me tonight._

"You're strange," Jae-Sun said simply staring at him. "What were you doing with your hands? Gang signs?"

"Gang signs? That was American sign language. Also. believe it or not, that's not the meanest thing you've said to me," Hector said as he did a pirouette to face Jae-Sun.

Before Jae-Sun could ask further about what Hector had meant about "mean things" he said to him, the F train came. Hector took an available seat not expecting Jae-Sun to grab the seat right next to him since there was a surprisingly number of seats in this cart.

As Hector and Jae-Sun sat quietly side-by-side, he noticed Jae-Sun nodded off. Hector knew Jae-Sun must have studied hard and unlike Ollie spent long hours doing his readings and outlining. He could smell Jae-Sun's cologne. So different from Ollie's, but just as compelling. It was spicier, Hector thought as he felt the warmth of Jae-Sun's body.

Then, Jae-Sun's leg squeezed against his as Jae-Sun continued to disco nap. Hector would have usually shifted away but he did not want to stir Jae-Sun who must have been tired. Hector also honestly liked this rare body contact with Jae-Sun. It made him look less intimidating and someone who looked as though he could cut your spleen out if he wanted to. Hector admired the shape of Jae-Sun's face and the way his nose cutely curved and pointed. Jae-Sun was objectively incredibly attractive in Hector's mind.

 _Shame Jae-Sun was so intimidating and off-putting. He could get a girlfriend easily, if he wanted one_ , Hector thought. Then Jae-Sun's body shifted closer to Hector as Jae-Sun slept.

As they moved closer to Herald Square, Jae-Sun stirred awake just in time. _He must take this train here often since his body naturally woke up in time_.

Both Jae-Sun and Hector exited the train at Herald Square. Hector verbalized a good-bye to Jae-Sun before he headed off to his next train while Jae-Sun would exit the station as they were now practically a block away from K-Town.

Jae-Sun then surprisingly smiled at Hector and gave him a friendly wave before running out of the exit.

Hector thought Jae-Sun had a nice smile as he walked towards his next train. He checked his phone to see if Ollie had replied to Hector's text message. He had not. Hector hung on to the hope that there was simply no signal underground for a message to get through yet.

**PART 7: YOU GOT IT**

_Every time I look into your lovely eyes,  
_ _I see a love that money just can't buy  
_ _One look from you, I drift away  
_ _I pray that you are here to stay_

_Every time I hold you I begin to understand  
_ _Everything about you tells me I'm your man  
_ _I live my life to be with you  
_ _No one can do the things you do_

_I'm glad to give my love to you  
_ _I know you feel the way I do._

_Anything you want, you got it  
_ _Anything you need, you got it  
_ _Anything at all, you got it  
_ _Baby!_

\- Roy Orbison

The party was happening in one-hour-and-a-half, and Tina was way behind on the cooking. Her trip to drop off the DVDs to her studio had taken longer than expected as she spent a much longer time throwing up and recovering from whatever stomach bug she had to actually leave the apartment. Then once she came to the studio, she ran into Mickey, her cameraman, and Koji, her cinematographer and all-around assistant. After a long conversation about possible next projects her agent Sandra Nakano was offering them, Tina inadvertently mentioned the party and felt compelled to invite both of them. They heartily agreed but told her they could not come till later as they were agreed to watch a friend perform a DJ set at some dive.

Tina frantically took the huge chunks of fatty pork out of one pot while another pot of pork stayed on the stove. She laid the chunks of pork on the counter space next to the sink that was full of unpeeled cooked shrimp. Tina checked her stir-fry on two pans for her deep fried egg noodles stir-fry. Then she realized she forgot to add the quail eggs she already boiled. She had not even started stuffing the spring roll mix into the spring roll wraps or boiled the rice vermicelli for the summer rolls and rice vermicelli bowls. She still had to peel and slice the carrots, mushrooms, and cucumbers.

"Aiya!" Tina shouted at no one in particular as she slightly burned herself when she dumped the hot pork fat water out onto the other side of the sink so she could start boiling the vermicelli for the summer rolls and vermicelli bowls. Tina eyed the fish sauce (ngoc mam) and vegan version of fish sauce she put in a green bowl (green for vegan) making sure she did not spill any. If she spilled it on the floor, no amount of cleaning will help get that smell out for a few days. Tina suspected she made it slightly too strong. She wanted to throw up again after catching a whiff of the sauces. She usually made fun of non-adventurous eaters for doing that, but she now sympathized. In fact, none of this seemed particularly appetizing to Tina. She felt as it she must have screwed up the dinner some how.

After putting one bag of vermicelli rice noodles into the pot of boiling water, Tina felt a little queasy and decided to have a lie down. Luckily, the vermicelli only took five minutes to boil, so Tina imagined herself getting up in five minutes to take them out. She did not even need five minutes from when she sat down to nod off.

When Alex came through the door full of smiles with his messenger bag stuffed with the new files he was told to bring home and wheeling in an cooler full of ice and beer and non-alcoholic mixers he had purchased with loads of paper plates, napkins, and disposable cutlery, he noticed straight-away that there was a lot of steam filling up the apartment. He then saw the one pot boiling over.

"Tina!" screamed Alex as he dropped his belongings and rushed to the stove.

Tina suddenly woke up. She realized right then and there what had just happened and rushed to the pot. Alex had already beaten her to it.

"Ohmygod! What time is it?" asked Tina as she ran to Alex who already turned the burners off. Tina desperately wanted to check the state of the vermicelli with her hands but her eyes had already told her they were soggy.

"7:00!" yelled Alex. "Tina you have to be more careful! My God, you can't be so descuidada!"

"Alex, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to doze off like that. I only met to take a bit of rest before going back, I did not mean to fall asleep like that…"

"You could've burned down this whole place, muy asustadizo."

"I know, but…"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? You could have set this whole building on fire, I mean my God Tina!" Alex said in a rapid-fire fashion, speaking before he thought. He kept going in Spanish and English. "I mean something could have happened to you…

"Hey!" yelled Tina. Even though Alex was right, he didn't need to keep going on about it. "I said I was sorry, and you don't think I know how stupid of me this was. It happened so no need to yell at me. And it was just a pot of noodles. It was steam, not smoke. It isn't like I was frying anything and left the apartment…"

"Tina, I…" Alex did not mean to go off the handle like that. He just imagined the worst and was worried about Tina. He was used to imagining the worst after being in the force for the past few years.

"Mierda! Hice esta fiesta para ti." Tina said absolutely frustrated.

"Hey! I only yelled at you because I was worried," Alex said defensively.

"Don't condescend to me, Alejandro. I already understand what I did so you don't have to make me feel any worse about it. You could have made the same mistake too."

Tina then turned to check the vermicelli to see if it was still usable. Deeming that it was past the point of her approved texture, she decided to dump it. She started filling up the pot with fresh water to boil the other bags of vermicelli. After Tina finished putting the vermicelli into the boiling water, Alex looked at what needed to be done and grabbed the second pot of pork that was still on the stove and dumped the water into the sink.

He knew he was in trouble when she called him _Alejandro_. She never did that unless she was angry or wanted to feel sexy. Given the circumstances, he knew it was not the latter. He also knew the one thing Tina hated more than anything else was to be spoken down to. It took years of observation for Alex to understand Tina's perspective in that regard – her being a petite, cute Asian girl seemed to give certain people the vibe that it was ok to condescend to her.

"Listen, Tina I…" Alex started but had not yet figured out how to finish.

Alex turned towards Tina who was silently taking the pork she laid on the counter space near the sink laid it on the cutting board.

"Tina, _Em_ ," repeated Alex.

"Que?" asked Tina curtly.

"What do you need help with?"

"Nothing. I'm taking care of it."

"I'm here, so use me."

"No, it's alright," said Tina. "You spent all day at the station, so you obviously dealt with something important with work. You should just rest before the others get here."

"It looks like you have a lot left to do, and we have less than fifty minutes before the gang comes. Let me help." Alex was trying to give Tina a peace offering.

Tina continued cutting thin slices of the hot pork and looked at Alex. Alex noticed Tina forcibly changed her expression to a more jovial one. "No, it's ok, honey. Just relax."

"Tina…" She never called him "honey". It was always " _Anh_ ".

"Seriously it's ok." Tina said obviously annoyed.

"Tina…you obviously need help here. Let me help. Don't be so stubborn."

"Me, stubborn!" shat Tina slamming the huge pork chunk down. "You're the one who's being stubborn!"

"What? I just wanted to help here. You're making this harder than it has to be."

"Then you could have been here hours ago, but I get it. Whatever it is at work that you can't share with me is important. But now you're here at the last minute so you can play the hero. Just choose one for the day – don't try to juggle both. It's too hard."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. I sound like a spoiled brat for complaining that you have to do some crime solving. I sound ridiculous, so ignore what I just said."

"Don't be melodramatic here," Alex said. He did not understand what was happening at the moment.

"I may be acting dramatic right now, but you know what I said is true."

"No, I don't know," said Alex feeling beyond agitated at the moment.

"Sí sí, tú haces. ¡Tú siempre sientes como si tú tengas razón! Tú eres tan obstinado a veces. Hiểu không?"

 _Stubborn? I was offering to help!_ Alex thought. "I don't get it, how am I being stubborn right now? I'm here, and I have two hands, and you obviously need it."

"I know, it's just it would have been easier if you were here even just an hour or so earlier. The furniture still hasn't been moved, and I asked Koji and Mickey to come and now I'm worried about having enough food.

 _Enough food? Tina planned a whole buffet in Atlantic City!_ Alex thought. He then thought carefully over what he was going to say next. He was trying to remember the right words. "Sí comprendo. Pero no me llama terco. Tu no eres enteramente justo a mí, Tina. Em lắng nghe anh,"

 **(A/N: Translation:** "Yes I understand. But don't call me stubborn. You're not being entirely fair to me, Tina. _Em_ , listen to me.)

Tina turned wide-eyed at Alex. "Was that um…"

Alex then gave her his winning wide smile. He then took two pocket books out of the inside pocket of his blazer and handed them to Tina.

Tina eyed the Vietnamese-to-English pocket dictionary and the Vietnamese pocket phrasebook.

"How long have you…?'

"I've been trying to learn since we got back together. It's been much more slow moving than I thought and I don't know if I'm pronouncing the words right. But I want to learn. I think it's important since..." Alex wanted to end that with "since we'll be together forever" but he thought that just sounded corny. So, he just shrugged his shoulders thinking Tina would have gotten the hint.

Tina was astonished and did not know what to say.

Taking that as a sign that she got the hint, Alex continued, "Listen, I know I spent like six hours at the station, but it was important. Something big happened, so they needed to give me a run down and have me review some files before I was told to take some home to look over during my vacation.

I know, I should have fought back, but you know how these cases aren't on any timeline that recognizes things like vacations. I promise we'll spend most of my vacation together uninterrupted. I don't have any assignments to turn in or anything during my vacation.

And…I did not mean to mess this party up or anything like that. I tried to come home as soon as I could so I could help you cook and prepare." Alex then pointed to the cooler, "and I bought some provisions for the party like extra cutlery and plates and bowls and stuff. So I was thinking about you and the party the whole time. I am really looking forward to it, and I know you worked extra hard to make it happen."

Alex then took off his coat and laid it on the couch. He took his bag stuffed with files of his new assignment and put it in the closet. He then gazed at Tina. Tina was looking more apologetic now, but Alex was not quite sure.

Tina did not know why she had gotten so upset. She felt her mood swing in a way she did not expect. She was now so embarrassed and ashamed at how petty she acted.

"What needs to be done?" asked Alex again before Tina could say anything.

"Peeling the shrimp, crushing the peanuts for the peanut sauce for the summer rolls and…making the peanut sauce and laying out the plates and banh trang (rice paper). We also have to peel and slice and then lay out the vegetables and make sure they dry a bit before we serve them. Or you could stuff the spring roll wrappers and roll them instead. Don't worry about frying anything, I can handle deep-frying the noodles for the mi xao and the spring rolls. The barbecue pork is in the oven."

Alex smiled and got to work. "Anything you want, you got it."

Alex's smile could sometimes take over his whole face. Tina was always charmed by it. She remembered that smile the first time she met Alex. She was filming 9-year-old Gaby about her backpack theft when Alex and Jamal rushed in. Tina took a look at Alex and melted when he compulsively smiled at her. She remembered saying a meek "hi" to him after Gaby introduced them. She remembered that he simply stared at her and did not answer her until Jamal tapped him to say something.

As they quietly worked side-by-side, Tina and Alex naturally handed off ingredients to one another and switched places in the small kitchen when one had to go somewhere the other one was. They worked in a natural flow; understanding each other's body language and energy without having to look at each other. There were a few instances where Alex and Tina's fingers, hands, arms, and even legs brushed against each other or simply rested against each other. Alex thought that the intimacy of cooking together was nice. However, he knew that something was still troubling Tina. As Alex was cutting the lime, he watched Tina peel and slice the cucumber. She still looked like something was troubling her.

"What's the matter, _Em_?" Alex finally asked.

"Nothing's the matter," Tina said refusing to make eye contact.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Alex asked meaning to sound concerned, but it came out harshly.

"Alex…why haven't you asked me to move in with you?" Tina asked quickly, as if afraid to let her words linger. Then Tina exhaled. The way she looked after she said it made it look like it had been on her mind forever.

Alex was confused. Seriously confused.

"Aren't we already living together?" Alex said plainly as if it was as obvious as the Sun rose in the East and set in the West.

"What?!"

"I gave you my set of keys."

"And?"

"And what?" Alex asked as if Tina asked him the dumbest question in the world. "What do you think Monday night was about?"

"I don't know. Your were knuckles were swollen and you had a giant bruise on your cheek. I don't really remember what we said to each other. I was preoccupied with making sure you were ok." Tina said, "Besides, you told me that you gave me a set of keys so that I could come and go _as I pleased_. That's makes it sound like I'm still a guest with privileges. I mean most of my clothes are still at my parents' and I don't sleep here every night."

"You've slept here every night since Monday and even before that you slept here most nights except when you had to work on your film and your stuff was at your parents' place."

"But you never asked me, officially or formally," Tina said. "I mean, I can't just assume things about us…about what you want, especially given our history."

This hurt Alex. What did Tina mean? Instead of focusing on the last thing she said, Alex decided to focus on what he could tangibly argue. "Yeah, I know, but you sleep here more often than not since I moved in, and I thought enough of your clothes were here. I mean on Monday you packed things like your DVDs, which I know are your treasures. I also helped you move your film equipment here. Plus, your toothbrush is here and your face cleanser stuff and…and…"

Alex then went into the bathroom and dug into the cabinet under the sink. "A ha! I knew it! See! You keep a tampon box here," said Alex as if he had just found the winning argument.

Tina turned red though she was slightly angry with herself for feeling embarrassed by something as natural as the menstrual cycle. She made a mental note to make Alex go to the store to buy them for her when she needed them if he was that comfortable holding the box like that.

"Oh, so what, you want to _win_ this argument by preponderance of the evidence? Well, where's the jury? How about we wait until the gang gets here and we can ask them to deliberate! And I'll have you know I heard people asking you what it's like to live alone, and you happily tell them it's great, even on Tuesday when Yvette came to visit during the lunch break where you helped moved my movie equipment..."

"What? No! It's just…!" Alex said waving his arms spilling Tina's tampons all over the place. When he realized what he was doing he panicked and threw the box aimlessly, accidentally throwing it at Tina.

"Hey! I'm not cleaning that up!" Tina said.

"I'm not either!" Alex responded without thinking.

"Ok, then, the team can just enjoy the new bathroom décor!"

"Fine by me!" Alex exclaimed.

Tina and Alex stood in front of each other not daring to break the impromptu staring contest they had just entered.

Finally, Alex relented. He exhaled slowly then finally let it out his chest.

"I didn't think I had to spell it out for you. We've been together for so long, so I naturally figured that was it. As for the on my own bit, I thought they just meant without my parents or roommates. I didn't think they meant without you because…well…" Alex started to blush.

"Well what?" asked Tina, her eyes lighting up.

"Well, what am I without you?" Alex said not daring to look Tina in the eye. He then walked towards the counter and continued crushing the peanuts with Tina's mom's crusher.

Tina stood there for a bit and started to laugh. Uncontrollably. She began to tear up a bit.

"Hey!" Alex yelled, peanut crusher in hand.

"No…I'm sorry Alex, I don't mean to laugh, it's just that…omigod, Alex, all this time…" Tina continued laughing and had to wipe tears from her eyes.

Alex gave her an exaggerated pout and a sideways glance.

Tina hesitated for a bit before continuing, "You know, a girl likes to be asked." Tina's laughing fit subsided and she began to peel the shrimp.

Alex shook his head and chuckled. He looked at Tina who was busy with her endeavor and had no doubts over what he truly wanted.

"You're so ridiculous sometimes, you know that?" Alex asked.

He then walked towards Tina, took both of her oily and greasy hands into his and kissed them.

"Eeew!" reacted Tina. "You better not kiss my face with those dirty lips!"

"And what if I do?" Alex said and grabbed Tina. Tina playfully fought back and got free from his grasp. She taunted him to come get her. Alex accepted the challenge and chased Tina all over the apartment.

When Alex finally cornered Tina, he gently kissed her cheek and then her lips. He stared deep into her eyes. Just one look from her, Alex drifted away into this dreamland.

Tina stared straight into Alex's eyes. They were so full of love. Having someone look at you like that was priceless.

Alex then held Tina close.

"Tina, I can't believe you doubted anything about us. I guess that's my fault. Every time we were together before, we did break up, didn't we?"

Tina did not say anything in response but Alex did not need her to do so. He understood now what this had been about.

"I was young and stupid, and don't forget, I'm also in my early twenties…well I was in my early twenties when we last broke up. That last time, it wasn't about you at all…it was my insecurity about having this job and not worrying you…or putting you in danger...I guess it was about you but not in the way you think. I did not even dare see other people," Alex said not daring to bring up Tina's relationship with Richie Le during their last break. "Listen, I know our relationship can do a number on anyone."

"It's just that, every time we got back together, it's been you who came and made this huge gesture and declaration of love and I fall back into it every time. Every time I argued with you or pleaded with you to come back or not to end things, you were so stubborn and you refused. You thought you knew what was best for us. If we're together, you have to trust I can handle things and let me decide if I want to end things or stay with you - even with your seriously dangerous job that I admit can keep me up. But it's my own informed decision. You have to trust I'm in it."

"I know." Alex responded, absolutely sorry about what he had done in the past. "I don't know how I can make you convinced that I will never leave you again. All I can say is that…" Alex paused trying to find the most articulate way of saying what he was truly feeling deep down. Then he just decided to say whatever entered his mind. "I just know that right now, I live my life to be with you. Every time I'm with you or hold you or kiss you or talk to you or anything...I'm simply reminded of one thing."

"What?" Tina asked offering an inviting and hopeful smile to Alex.

"That I'm your man, and you're my woman. It's that simple."

"Yeah, it is," Tina smiled before they went back to kissing. Alex then carried Tina into their bedroom. Tina laughed at how insecure she had felt. No matter what happens between her and Alex, they would always find their ways back to each other.

Needless to say, the preparations were not ready by the time Gaby, the first guest to arrive, knocked on the door.

* * *

**PART 8: GOOD TIME**

_All the time  
_

_Some people just want lie on the beaches in the Caribbean  
_ _Some people want to do crazy things to green amphibians  
_ _Some people want some people to do as they please  
_ _We just want to have a good time_

_All the time_

_Some people go "Booo" they go "Quak" "Quak" they go "Keek"  
_ _Some people have nothing and want nothing and are free  
_ _Some people want to burn the world with their greed  
_ _We just want to have a good time_

_Just want good time We just want good time  
_ _Just want good time We just want good time  
_ _I Just want good time We just want good time  
_ _I Just want good time_

_All the time_

_We just want to have a good time tonight  
_ _We just want to have a good time all the time  
_ _We just want to have a good time tonight  
_ _We just want to have a good time all the time_

_Some people want pussy pussy pussy all the while  
_ _Some people want nothing only staying home with mama  
_ _Some people want nothing and need nothing and are free  
_ _We just want to have a good time_

_I just want good time We just want good time  
_ _Just want good time We just want good time  
_ _Just want good time Just want good time_

_All the time_

_-_ Brazilian Girls

Gaby reached her destination around 8:10 pm. She had planned to get there much earlier, but ended up spending an inordinate amount of time crying in a random diner bathroom while trying to take off the dark mascara and deep red lipstick, but now she now looked a little worn-out and unkempt. She wished she had actually washed up before she left. She feared that the stench of her afternoon delight lingered all over her body and clothes.

Gaby stood in front of a building on Prospect Place. She hesitated before pressing the buzzer. However, before she would, a friendly neighbor exited the front door and offered to let Gaby in recognizing her as Detective Fernandez's sister when she first checked out the place with Alex before he moved in.

As she knocked on the door, Gaby heard some rustling inside. She then heard fast footsteps and a door slamming shut. After about a minute had passed, an impatient Gaby knocked again, this time LOUDER.

Alex opened the door, looking flushed with his shirt inside out.

"Geez, can't you knock?" asked Alex.

"Ha Ha, very funny. Nice shirt. Is that how the cool kids are wearing their shirts these days?" Gaby laughed.

Alex shot Gaby a death glare before eyeing Gaby's make up. He then smirked and said, "So, what brings you here? Staten Island is that way." Alex said pointing south.

"Alex, just let me in." Gaby pleaed. She was tired and just wanted to sit down.

Alex sensing something was up, changed his expression and warmly smiled at Gaby.

"So purple today, huh?" chuckled Alex.

"Alex…"

"Are you ok?" Alex asked, again harsher than he intended.

"Alex, just let me in, I had a day…"

Suddenly Alex gave her a warm hug. In Alex's embrace, Gaby felt vulnerable but safe. It took all of Gaby's strength to not cry right then and there. If only Alex knew what his little sister was doing with her afternoons, not that she should be ashamed with having an active sex life. This just was not the type of active sex life Gaby wanted Alex to know about. Imagining what he would think…Gaby took all of her strength to hide her true feelings. After a moment Gaby decided to break away fearing that she would no longer be able to hold it in.

"All right! Geez, I miss you too!" yelped Gaby, laughing - attempting to lighten the mood.

"What's buggin' you?" Alex asked, always the detective.

"What do you mean?" Gaby asked acting oblivious.

"You just look like something's bothering you."

"It's nothing. Just a work-social event. Where's Tina?"

Alex looked around the apartment then pointed to the bathroom. "Tina's taking a shower."

"Right now?" asked Gaby. "It's past eight. I thought she'd be finished already. She'd been planning this dinner like forever."

Alex cocked his head sideways and smiled. "Well, there were some technical difficulties…"

Gaby compulsively rolled her eyes. "Ok, lover-boy. I brought some wine, not that you two need it." Then noticing the empty tampon box lying on the living floor, Gaby said, "I like what you've done with the place."

It took all of Alex's strength to not give Gaby a well-deserved noogie and then interrogate his sister some more.

* * *

"Oooh baby do know what that's worth? Ooooh heaven is a place on Earth!" Gaby sang as she helped lay out the summer roll fix-ins on the kitchen table.

"Will you shut up, Blabby?" Alex said doing his best to peel the shrimp but admittedly ripping the flesh off of a good number of shrimp.

"What?" Gaby asked

"Just lay out the summer roll bar, ok? We have to convince Tina it's ok to let people make their own bowls and rolls and that she doesn't have to do it herself."

"Geez, was she really planning on doing that all herself?" Gaby asked.

Alex simply gave Gaby a short nod then an exasperated look. "Tina takes on too much by herself and wants to handle everything by herself thinking she's bothering me if she asks for help or anything."

"Gee, sounds familiar," Gaby replied. "So I guess you're just not going to tell me why your knuckles are all red and swollen and why you have a fading bruise on your cheek. Or why you didn't think to tell me, Mama, or Papa."

"I'll tell you later," Alex simply said.

Gaby looked disapprovingly at Alex for again keeping things from his family. Then she shrugged her shoulders and continued singing.

"Gaby, who sings this song again?"

"Belinda Carlisle…from the Go-Gos!"

"Then maybe we should let Belinda Carlisle sing it." Alex said laughing at his own joke.

Gaby smacked Alex on the arm, and then said "I can't help it, Tina's iTunes has so many old songs I haven't heard in forever, she'll have to make me a mp3 CD."

"Anyway…" Alex said gesturing to the vegetables that still needed to be sliced and peeled.

Gaby and Alex were busy helping set the table with proper cutlery, napkins, and plates/bowls. Meanwhile, Tina thanked them profusely after Alex and Gaby double-teamed her to convince her to let people just make up their own bowls before fixing herself up for the party. Just then Alex received a text from Jamal telling him he and Casey and her friend Rhonda would be there in about twenty minutes.

"Hey!" Alex shouted to Tina, "Jamal and Casey will be here in twenty minutes!"

"Wait, Jamal and Casey are in town? For this party? Aiya! Do we have enough food? Why didn't they tell me?"

"Uh…" Alex responded just now realizing he forgot to tell Tina they told him they were coming.

"Uh…..oh!" Gaby said pointedly to Alex.

"Uh, they told me, and I guess I forgot to tell you," Alex said as he came into the bedroom where Tina was putting on her party dress.

"What?" Tina said looking stressed.

"And Casey's roommate from Chicago is coming too," Alex said.

"Oh my God…who else is coming that you didn't tell me?"

"Uh, today, I invited Yvette and Daniel. And they're bringing their partners…"

"Oh my God Alex! That's seven more people than I expected."

"Yeah, but it's ok. You made more than enough food." Alex said hoping to calm Tina down.

"Well, I also invited Koji and Mickey today," Tina admitted. "So nine more people…oh no…I also invited Linda and Shayla, so eleven more people."

"I still think we have more than enough food," Alex said confidently.

"Are you sure?" Gaby interjected. "I mean with your gluttonous appetite…"

"Shut up, Gaby!" Alex yelled.

Tina then slumped on her bed. "I bet we'll run out of food," Tina said.

"No no, we won't. Tina you made like triple more than what we needed and we have the vegan options too, so yeah we tons of food." Alex responded.

"I wanted Rob to bring extra as a 'thank you' for helping you set up your apartment," Tina softly said.

"Aww, how sweet!" Gaby responded.

"Shut up Gaby!" Alex yelled again before turning his attention towards Tina, "Um, I mean if we do run out, we can always order pizza or something."

"Pizza? We already had this conversation. Rob doesn't eat cheese…" Tina said.

"I'm pretty sure he does," Alex said.

"I don't know," Gaby interjected again.

"Gaby!" both Tina and Alex yelled.

Gaby knew that was her cue to shut up. But that time she was not trying to be funny. She honestly did not know whether Rob ate cheese or not. Hoping the cut the tension, Gaby did the only thing she could think of given her resources. "Take on me…take me on…" sang Gaby.

"That's nice, Gaby, maybe we should do karaoke later now that we've invited enough people to make this apartment a clown car," said Tina sarcastically.

"Oh, can we?" pleaded Gaby.

"No," both Alex and Tina said sternly.

Gaby gave a small pout then set the plates up. "But I so wanted to give a concert."

"Maybe...later tonight," said Tina preoccupied.

"Yeah, right now people don't want to hear cats screeching." said Alex.

Gaby threw a lime at Alex's head. It bounced right off. "That had a lot of bounce, you must really have a lot of hot air in there." Gaby then continued, "Tina, seriously though, this apartment is much bigger than a lot of the VIP spaces at Tyre, and we fit double or triple the amount you're expecting tonight.

Suddenly there were knocks on the door. Tina excitedly and stressfully ran to the door.

"Tina!" Lenni exclaimed as she hugged Tina. Rob was behind her and waited to greet the hostess.

Gaby excitedly ran up to Lenni and leapt to give her a huge hug.

"Whoa! I should greet you more often," Lenni joked.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Gaby said. She then turned her attention towards Rob. _Something is brewing between these two!_ Gaby thought. She could smell the sex on them.

"Hey, Rob, crack kills," said Gaby who positioned herself behind Rob and pulled Rob's pants up. She had noticed Rob's low-rider jeans with his strategically oversized t-shirt covering the top part of his boxers. "Nice, underwear, I like how it says 'blah blah blah' on the elastic. That's winning literature."

"Ha-Ha, very funny," Rob responded before he pulled Gaby in for a hug. "What's with your make-up? Did you get jumped or something?"

"I wish! That'd be a great story to tell." Gaby said trying discern what was going on between Lenni and Rob before she got distracted by some evidence. "Wait…are your boxers inside out?"

"Uh…no, you're just seeing things with that mascara distorting your view." Rob said in a near panic.

"Sorry, we're late, but we wanted to get some booze. I really need a drink," said Lenni hurriedly hoping to get Gaby's attention focused on something else. Between Lenni and Rob, they had a 24-count case of IPA beer, a bottle of Jose Cuervo, and margarita mix. "I didn't remember if you guys had margarita mix and I was going to call," Lenni said noticing a bottle of tequila and margarita mix on Alex's liquor sidecar that contained what Lenni deduced as high quality whiskey and scotch, "but then I thought 'the more the merrier'."

"Great," said Tina, "I'm ready for a drink myself."

"Aruga!"

Everybody turned towards the door and saw Jamal, Casey, and Rhonda also bearing gifts. They brought huge bags of tortilla chips, salsa, and a huge bowl of guacamole that Grandma CeCe made. "Grandma says to keep the Tupperware as a housewarming gift, and to apologize about declining the invite."

"Hey, brown guy!" said Rob, laughing at his own joke.

"Hey, pink guy!" Jamal replied before hugging Rob.

"Jamal!" screamed Gaby trying to hug Jamal despite the fact that Rob was in-between them already in an embrace.

"How about some booze everyone?" asked Lenni. "I'll bartend for now," Lenni said winking at Tina and Alex telling them to not to worry about doing everything themselves.

"Oh yeah, I need it. After spending a week lecturing to uninterested students who don't give me any feedback whatsoever, I deserve to do some binge drinking." Jamal said.

"You and me both!" Gaby said excitedly.

"Wait, Gabster, you're teaching too?" Jamal excitedly asked.

"Yep!" Gaby proudly said. "Just for this past week but I think I like it."

"Alright!" Jamal exclaimed as he and Gaby did the Ghostwriter handshake.

"What's that?" Rhonda whispered to Casey.

"Oh it's just something that we do," Casey said. Casey then turned towards Lenni and said, "Just a seltzer or whatever you have."

"Well, I'm drinking!" Rhonda exclaimed. "We drove all the way here from Chicago, and I need to relax. Some of the things we saw in-between…"

"I can imagine," Gaby said.

Gaby had already moved on to Casey and Rhonda entering into a gab fest after they finished being greeted by Alex and Tina.

Gaby turned towards the entryway after everyone had drinks in hand.

"Hector!" Gaby exclaimed running to hug him. _How long had he been standing at the doorway?_

Hector meekly smiled and then excitedly said, "Jamal! Casey! I didn't think you'd be here! Nobody told me!"

"You're not the only one," Gaby said looking at Alex and Tina.

"Gaby…" Tina responded lightly reprimanding Gaby for putting her brother on blast like that.

Hoping to change the subject, Hector turned towards Jamal and said, "You should try diet coke, all that coke is going to turn your abs into flab."

"Eeew, no!" Gaby interrupted. "Diet soda is actually very bad for you and is worse if you want to lose belly fat."

Hector rolled his eyes at Gaby.

Jamal laughed. "Yeah, yeah…speaking of looking good, you look nice Hector. Law school suits you."

"Thanks," Hector responded lightly blushing. _Jae-Sun is right, I need to learn how to take a compliment._

"How's the meat market?" Rob asked.

Lenni gave Rob a grave look for asking that.

"No comment…" Hector said rubbing the back of his head. Rob knew that gesture all too well.

Some of the team erupted in ooohs and laughter.

"I guess it's more of a sausage party," Casey added.

"Your choice of meat is probably better than mine," said Gaby after the team calmed down a bit.

This caused another eruption of laughter.

Casey and Hector gave each other a hug before everyone took turns hugging Hector.

"We should start eating," said Tina, "it's almost 9."

"As far as I'm concerned, it's only 8," said Jamal tauntingly.

Casey rolled her eyes. _As if he's the only one here coming from Central Time._

"Yeah, but that doesn't count," said Alex, "nobody cares about Central Time."

"Except that Central time rules all, that's why we're central!" Jamal responded.

"Oh man you guys, you're killing me with such brilliant banter," said Rob.

The team laughed.

"Hey you guys," Lenni said, "the hostess said we should eat."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Rhonda said.

Rob felt a little unfocused and his vision blurred slightly. He sighed and then pulled out his thick dark-frame glasses from his messenger bag.

"Rob, man, I think you should face the music and start wearing your glasses full-time," said Alex.

"Yeah, you always need to put them on, you might as well keep them on, or wear contacts," added Tina.

"No way, I don't need them, I'm fine." Rob said not sure why he was acting defensive.

"Rob is scared of contacts, you guys know that," said Lenni.

"Of course, Lenni would know," Gaby joked.

"Uh…Rob is scared of everything that has to do poking things to his eyes. Everyone knows that." Lenni said.

 _Why are we hiding our relationship again?_ Rob wondered. _I mean we just had sex._

"Are you sure Rob isn't just lazy?" Casey asked.

"Hey, what is this - beat up on Rob day?" Rob replied.

The team laughed.

"Hey, Tina, do you have any Shakira on your iTunes?" Hector asked.

"Of course. These hips don't lie." Tina said.

Alex pulled Rob aside and asked, "So you and Lenni? What's up?"

Rob shied away from Alex's line of questioning, but he really did not mind Alex or the rest of the gang's interest on the matter.

"Well, we made some traction." Rob said a bit too proudly.

"Oh yeah?!" Alex exclaimed.

"What, what's going on?" Jamal asked interrupted Alex and Rob's huddle.

"Oh well…we held hands last Monday and then spent every day of the week together, and today we uh… _got to know each other_ …if you know what I mean." Rob whispered to Jamal and Alex.

"Wait, it took you eleven days to get that far?" Alex asked.

"Hey, it took you until your sophomore year of college to lose your virginity to Tina!" Jamal laughed.

"Hey man! That was different. We were so young when we got together. We're all 25 now. I wouldn't wait that long now," Alex replied defensively.

Rob laughed. But Rob knew Alex was right. He also knew Alex did not really understand his and Lenni's dynamic. Up until today, Rob was never sure where he stood with Lenni the way Alex knew where he stood with Tina. Even now, Rob was not sure.

* * *

Alex made his way towards Hector.

"Hey man, we haven't seen each other since you started law school earlier this month. How are you doing? Everything ok?" Alex asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm bueno," Hector said sipping his drink.

"You don't look like it. I thought you were going to bring that guy you're seeing." Alex said.

"Well, he had other plans tonight, and it wasn't guaranteed or anything."

Alex knew Hector was hiding his disappointment. He did not like this guy already. He wanted to kick this guy's ass – whoever he was.

"Whoa!" Alex said after they sat on the couch. "No wonder you were talking about flab. You have a bit developing. We should work out more. I've been slacking off too."

Hector eyed Alex's body and had no idea what Alex was talking about. That comment must have been pointed solely at him but Alex was trying to couch it in a way to make him feel less bad. It did not work.

"Yeah, maybe we should," Hector responded.

"Alex!" Gaby whispered at Alex once Hector got up to join Casey and Rhonda. "Why did you say that?"

"What? It wasn't an insult, I just wanted my gym buddy back," Alex said.

"Are you going to go all the way to Long Island City just work out with your buddy?" Gaby asked.

"I will if I have to," Alex said.

"You don't even visit me in Long Island City," Gaby responded.

"I'm not going to go to that club where you work," Alex responded back. "It's weird you're working at a place like that."

"Why?" Gaby shot Alex an accusatory look. "Lots of women work there, there's nothing shameful about it."

"I didn't say that!" Alex exclaimed. "It's just weird thinking of my sister like that. Like imagine me stripping or something, I'm sure you're cool with men doing that in theory but not your brother in reality."

"Ew! Alex!" Gaby responded, "I don't strip!"

"You know what I mean!" Alex responded.

The two Fernandez siblings continued to go at it.

* * *

"Do you need help, Tina?" asked Lenni watching as Tina fried a few dozen spring rolls after she immaculately set up six dishes of the deep fried egg noodle bird's nest stir-fry – two of them vegan.

"No, I got it," Tina said smiley widely.

"What are you so happy about?" Lenni asked smiling.

"Nothing…" Tina responded.

Lenni shot Tina a "give me a break" look.

"Ok, well today, Alex asked me to move in with him." Tina responded.

 _Wait, I thought they were already living together, I mean otherwise why is Tina throwing a party here?_ Lenni thought. "Oh that's great! Congratulations!" Lenni said.

"What?" Gaby asked walking up and taking the pyramid of spring rolls to the makeshift buffet table.

"Set those up near the barbecue pork and barbecue tofu, next to the scissors so people can cut them into the vermicelli bowls," Tina said. "Oh, and just that Alex and I are officially living together now." Tina was giddy.

"Wait, I thought you guys were already living together?" Gaby asked then taking a huge bite out of a spring roll. "Oh my God! These are delicious!"

Before Tina could shoot Gaby a dirty look, Rob interrupted, "Wait what? You guys are now living together? Congrats Tina!" Rob exclaimed. Rob was genuinely happy to hear this news.

"Hey man!" Rob called over to Alex, "Congrats on moving in with Tina! It's about time you asked her!"

Tina poked her head out from behind Rob and smiled devilishly at Alex. Alex just shot Tina a look that said he thought both she and Rob were nuts.

Suddenly the buzzer went off and Alex let in his fellow detectives and their partners.

Yvette Thomas entered with her wife Thalia while the five-foot-seven-inch Daniel O'Leary came arm-in-arm with who seemed like a six-foot blonde super model.

"Hey, Alex, this is my girlfriend Erica," Daniel said happily.

"Hi, it's finally nice to meet all of you," Erica responded warmly.

"Nice to meet you too," Alex said politely. "You guys say 'hi' to Tina, she's responsible for everything." Alex said proudly as he beamed towards Tina who was frying more spring rolls.

The party neared 10:00 pm by this point, and despite Tina's fears, there was certainly more than enough food to feed everyone. Thank goodness Tina doubled up and made tons of vegan options because Erica and Thalia were also vegetarian-vegans. They ended up loving Tina's dishes asking her for her recipes and thanking her profusely for making vegan-friendly options for them. Tina was on cloud nine. Then they ended up talking for twenty minutes talking about the hardship of dating detectives.

The party goers were settling down sitting around the living room while helping themselves to their third or more helpings of food and enjoying their drinks. Luckily, Tina had purchased more than enough pillows to act as cushions for people who did not mind sitting on the floor.

"Tell us, Daniel, where did you meet this hot woman?" asked Rhonda.

Casey, not under any influence, looked horrified, while the other party goers laughed.

"Well…" Daniel started. "We actually met at one of those cupcake shops."

"Really?" asked Lenni.

"That's a meet-cute," Casey responded.

"Yeah, we were just waiting in line, and Erica was in front of me wondering if any of the cupcakes were vegan. I simply stared at her the whole time because well, look at her."

"Stop, Daniel!" Erica laughed.

"No, it's true…I just saw her and told myself to man up and say something to her…anything." Daniel continued.

"What did you say?" Yvette asked.

"Well, I told her I'd be willing to taste test some of them to make sure they were vegan," Daniel said.

"Eeew!" Gaby exclaimed.

"I didn't mean it like that," Daniel continued good-heartedly. "I was imagining like vegetables or something."

"Daniel is a total meat and potatoes kind of guy," Erica said lovingly. "So I also responded with an 'eeeew' because that sounds like some perverted pick up line, right? It's like hold the phone…so I told him that my self-esteem wasn't bad enough right now to date a pervert, but maybe tomorrow when I'm feeling less confident," Erica said.

Casey bellowed that that. Erica glanced at Casey and smiled.

"And oh my God…Daniel was so sweet and apologetic. He said he didn't mean it like that. And then he explained that he thought vegan cupcakes were like full of leafy vegetables or something. And then apologized like a hundred times. I could tell he was sincere and did not have a bone inside that cute body of his to intend any offense. So I decided to ask him out for dinner."

"You asked him out?" Lenni said surprised. She did not know where Erica got that sort of confidence from, but then she again looked at this glamorous Amazonian woman in front of her and then knew the answer.

"Yeah, and he was so cute, he thought I was making fun of him." Erica said poking the tip of Daniel's nose. "Boop!"

"Hey, you make me sound so pathetic…" Daniel replied smiling broadly.

"No, you actually are the sweetest and cutest man I've ever dated." Then Erica pulled Daniel closer for a kiss. Gaby wanted to gag…how did Daniel not mind being called "cute" so many times? However, she politely put on a fake smile and saw Rhonda was doing the same. Yvette did not even pretend. Rob, Lenni, Tina, and Alex thought it was incredibly sweet and held hands although Lenni and Rob did it on the sly while Alex openly kissed Tina's hand. Jamal thought about the story and felt inspired to call Maha right now and excused himself. Casey was still laughing at Erica's self-esteem line. Hector smiled but checked his phone for any message from Ollie. There was none.

Tina then got up to put away some plates. Lenni and Gabby offered to help.

"Hey…" whispered Tina. "I have some cigarettes, you guys want to go to the fire escape and smoke one?"

"What?" Gaby asked "Alex didn't yell at you or anything?" Lenni simply smiled.

"Well, he did Wednesday night, but I told him I was going to just smoke one more at the party than either give the rest of the pack away or throw them away. I only smoked one on Wednesday."

"Yes!" Lenni said. A cigarette was what she needed after the afternoon she and Rob had.

At the fire escape, Lenni quickly lit hers up, while Gaby savored the second-hand smoke before lighting hers as well.

"I can't believe we're illegally hanging out on a fire escape, sneaking cigarettes like we're a bunch of delinquents, and in a cop's apartment," Lenni said.

"We're not sneaking. Everyone knows what we're doing out here," Tina said.

Gaby laughed then inhaled on her cigarette butt.

Tina thought she had wanted to smoke but now the smell wanted to make her gag. "Actually, Lenni, you could have mine if you want, or you Gaby." Tina said.

"What's wrong?" Lenni said exhaling away from Tina.

"Nothing," Tina said, "I just thought I wanted one but I realized I don't."

"Ok," Gaby said taking Tina's cigarette. "I'll save this one for later, I had a day."

"Fair enough," Lenni said realizing Gaby certainly needed it more than she did judging by the state of her make up.

"Do either you want the pack or to split it?" Tina asked.

"No, I just wanted to smoke one," Lenni said. "I probably won't touch another one of these ever again."

"I don't want it either, I don't want to be a habitual smoker," Gaby replied.

"Or an addicted one," Lenni added.

"So why did you need one?" Gaby asked Lenni.

"Ok well…" Lenni then described in much more detail than Rob did about how Rob and Lenni's relationship blossomed into them having sex that afternoon.

"Holy shit! We all had sex today!" Gaby blurted out without thinking.

"Gaby!" Tina said in a horrified manner.

"Tina!" Lenni said in a congratulatory manner.

"Lenni!" Gaby said in a mocking manner.

The three girls then laughed.

"So you and Rob, huh?" Gaby asked batting her eyes suggestively at Lenni.

"Yeah I guess, me and Rob," Lenni said unsure.

"I mean are you two a thing now or what?" Gaby asked further.

"We didn't talk about it. We just had sex and then went to the party," Lenni said.

"Wait, how many times did you have sex during this first session?" Gaby asked.

"I don't know…I mean I came and then he came, and then we continued and I came again and then he came and then we kept going and…"

"That's incredible!" Gaby said. "I mean amazing! Like the dream sex we all want…"

"Is it that incredible really? I mean shouldn't you both always orgasm multiple times? I mean isn't that normal when you're really in love with someone?" Tina asked.

"Oh. My. God." Gaby said. She did not want to hear about her best friend and her brother's sex practices, but as Tina's best friend, she admitted she was curious. Because Tina fell in love with her brother, Gabby felt she was robbed of the experience of hearing about her best friend's sex life.

Lenni simply looked wide-eyed at Tina.

"What?" Tina asked.

"You mean that's normal between you and Alex?" Lenni asked.

Tina face reddened and turned away.

"She's blushing!" Gaby laughed.

"No, I'm not, I've just been cooking all day and feeling flustered."

"Well, I'm sure Alex can help you with that," Lenni said laughing some more.

"Ew!" Gaby replied. That was her brother!

"You've been egging this conversation on! You drove us to this lane," Lenni replied defensively.

"Yeah and you took us to the entrance to turnpike that I did not agree to go on," Gaby replied.

"Turnpike? What are we? In Jersey? Are you going to say jug handle too?" Lenni asked.

"Ha Ha!" Gaby said angrily still disgusted at the thought of Alex and Tina doing what Lenni described what she and Rob did except like every time they had sex and from what she could tell was often.

Tina was still facing the other way.

"Wait does that mean it was that incredible with Richie too?" Gaby asked thinking Tina hit the jackpot twice. "You know that's not typical, right?" Gaby said. "I mean sex can be really great, but not all the time and not always having one female orgasm, much less multiple…"

"No, it wasn't like that with Richie… _all the time_ , but I said if you _really_ love someone shouldn't it be normal for that to happen?"

Lenni and Gaby looked at Tina in disbelief and then turned towards the living room to gaze Alex through the window.

"My friend, Alejandro," Lenni said before realizing something. "Wait, Gaby," Lenni said. "Who did you have sex with this afternoon?"

"Uh…remember my pregnancy scare with the married man…" Gaby said.

Lenni and Tina said nothing waiting for Gaby to finish her story. The last thing they wanted to do was judge her.

Gaby then explained her entire history with Gabriel, including the separation with Althea and then catching Althea thinking she and Gabriel were getting back together on MySpace to Gabriel admitting it but saying he was only letting her think that to ease her out of the marriage and he wanted to continue seeing Gaby.

"So, he did not know you had a pregnancy scare?" Tina asked.

"I mean, was it really a scare though?" Gaby asked. "I wasn't pregnant so I think maybe I just imagined it all. Why should I tell him about something that I may have only imagined?"

"It felt real to all of us," Lenni said plainly.

Gaby then remembered the scene of all three of them waiting for the pregnancy test results in Lenni's bathroom. The worry, the anxiety, the fear, the support…

"What are you going to do?" Lenni asked.

"I think you should tell him," Tina said. "Gauge his reaction and see if he's the type of man you want to keep seeing. Maybe you should share this with Alex too."

"Hell no! You think I want my brother to commit a murder? And besides...I mean this was just _fun_. Gabriel and I agreed it would be." Gaby said defensively.

"It doesn't seem you've been having much _fun_ ," Lenni said rubbing her fingers on Gaby's eyelids and semi-running mascara.

Tina simply looked at Gaby.

"I think I'm going to go inside, I think I need another drink. Anyone want to join me?" Gaby asked.

Lenni offered to go with Gaby while Tina shook her plastic cup indicating that it was still full. She then said she was just going to sit out in the fresh air for a little while longer. Once Lenni and Gaby went back inside, Tina looked at her cup of plain seltzer water and took a dainty sip.

* * *

Linda and Shayla arrived at the party apologizing for being late.

"It's ok, Linda, it's only like 10:30 pm. We plan for this party to go on for hours more," Alex said. Linda observed Alex's face was becoming red and wondered how many drinks he had already.

"Dope pad, man!" Shayla said. "I mean it's spacious! Here, we got you some stuff for the party." Shayla then handed Alex a bag that was full of a generous amount of snacks they got from an Asian store. "We stopped by Flushing before we came. Cheap ass delicious shit there man."

Shayla then offered to play DJ and put on some banging dance and hip-hop tunes that turned the living room into a dance floor.

Lenni and Gaby started off the dancing and everyone in the room admired the way they moved their bodies. They obviously knew how to dance. Erica then joined them creating this sexy three some.

"So Alex, what is it like living with Tina now?" Linda asked.

"Thank you!" Alex exclaimed as he hugged "his sister".

Linda hugged back confused but grateful for his gratitude.

Suddenly the song "Hang On Sloopy" by The McCoys came on. This caused Jamal to pause his phone conversation with Maha, and for Lenni, Alex, Gaby, Tina, and Rob to stop everything they were doing to dance together. ( **A/N** : Remember this is the song they danced to in "Get the Message: Part 4").

_Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on  
_ _Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on_

"What is this song?" Rhonda asked Casey and Hector.

"I don't know, but they seem to know it," Hector said.

Casey took pictures on her flip phone of the scene.

_Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town  
_ _And everybody yeah, tries to put my sloopy down  
_ _Well Sloopy I don't care what your daddy do  
_ _Cause' you know Sloopy girl I'm in love with you  
_ _And so I say now_

The energy from the original Ghostwriter team was infectious as they started a conga line then spun off into different directions but always within each other's proximity.

_Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on  
_ _Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on_

Rob danced crazily caused the unfamiliar party guests to laugh and join in.

"Let's do the Rob!" Shayla screamed.

Everybody started mimicking Rob's dance moves except Alex who was simply shaking his head at the sight.

"Hey at least I move!" Rob said pointedly to Alex.

Alex shot Rob a mock annoyed look while he and Tina started to dance arm-to-arm, spinning and grooving.

_Sloopy let your hair down girl let it hang down on me  
_ _Sloopy let your hair down girl let it hang down on me_

Lenni started performing an adapted version of the steps she practiced this morning, inspiring Hector and Gaby to join in and learn it.

_Come on Sloopy, Come on Sloopy  
_ _Come on Sloopy, Come on Sloopy_

_Well it feels so good  
_ _You know it feels so good_

_Shake it, Shake it, Shake it Sloopy  
_ _Shake it, Shake it, Shake it Yeah_

_Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on  
_ _Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on_

The team and all of the party guests were dancing up a storm to this song.

"How long is this song?" Linda asked Shayla who was still playing DJ.

"Oh, I put it on repeat, I mean look at them. They're having crazy fun."

"What made you put it on?" Linda asked.

"Oh, I went to grab a drink and this song just started playing on shuffle. I had no idea what this song was." Shayla answered.

Just then the apartment buzzed.

"Oh, it should be Koji and Mickey," Tina said as she buzzed in the guest. She knew they said they were coming later but they begged her to save some food for them, which she dutifully set aside just for them.

Tina then left the door open so she could continue dancing with the rest of the group.

Hector and Gaby were in the middle of learning the choreography from Lenni, when Hector looked up and saw him.

"Ollie!" Hector exclaimed.

The rest of the party stopped in their tracks staring at the unfamiliar man standing at the doorway watching them dance like fools. The song continued to blare in the background.

_Sloopy let your hair down girl let it hang down on me  
_ _Sloopy let your hair down girl let it hang down on me_

"Amigo!" Ollie said. Hector then smelled alcohol in his breath.

"I thought you weren't coming," Hector said.

"I changed my mind," Ollie whispered into Hector's ear proceeding to nibble his ear in front of everyone. "I know who's important to me, and I now know I need to make sure he knows how important he is to me," Ollie continued.

Hector was flushed with embarrassment. "Ollie, my friends are all here."

"Oh hey amigos!" Ollie exclaimed shifting gears. "Which ones are the hosts?" Ollie asked Hector.

Hector grabbed Ollie's arm and led him to Alex and Tina. Tina smiled politely while Alex stared daggers at Ollie.

"This is Alex and Tina, the hosts," Hector said.

"Put it there!" Ollie said shaking Alex's hand with a professional firm grip. He then turned towards Tina, bowed, took Tina's hand, and kissed it. "Enchanté, mademoiselle."

"Merci," Tina answered giggling. _He's certainly a charmer_.

"And who is this?" Alex asked - focused as if he was conducting a serious interrogation despite being buzzed.

"Oh, this is Oliver Bradford, Ollie…he's my classmate," Hector stated to say.

"I'm his boyfriend," Ollie interrupted.

Hector, Tina, Gaby, Lenni, Rob, Casey, and Jamal looked at Ollie wide-eyed.

Alex continued to glare at Ollie not breaking his gaze.

"Boyfriend? Didn't he call Hector 'amigo'?" Gaby whispered to Casey and Jamal.

"Does he even know what 'amigo' means?" asked Jamal.

"Does he even know where he's at? Has he ever been to this part of Brooklyn?" Casey asked back eyeing Ollie's seriously expensive party wear. _How would I brand this for people who can afford it but don't know they can?_

Just then Shayla changed the song to something more modern and beat-heavy.

"Come on _mi amor_ , let's dance!" Ollie said excitedly. "Oh but before we do, I brought this." Ollie then handed Alex two bottles of Macallan Rare Cask.

"Holy crap!" Alex said breaking character. _Damnit! I broke. But seriously, this stuff is expensive, like almost $300.00 and he brought two? This guy is probably used to waving his money around and getting what he wants._ Alex made a mental note to talk to Hector about Ollie.

"Oh uh, you can put it here," Alex said now sheepishly showing Ollie his sidecar feeling self-conscious about it all-of-a-sudden.

"Whoa, dude, you got excellent taste in whiskeys and scotch." Ollie said genuinely impressed. Ollie then started explaining the different families who he had met who owned the some of the brands Alex had on display and their distillery processes. Alex could not help but be interested in what Ollie had to say, and he also wanted to ask Ollie about his clothes. They were seriously nice.

Gaby was watching Ollie intently.

"Hector! Come here!" Casey whispered.

Hector obliged feeling as if he was on cloud nine, "You rang?"

"What's your story?" Casey asked. "Gaby quickly told me about how you went to the club she worked at last week. She gave me some of her impressions."

"What were her impressions?" Hector asked.

"She said he seemed nice but oblivious and wasn't sure if was the right fit for you," Casey answered truthfully.

"That's a huge judgment to make when she only met him for a few hours," Hector said.

"Fair enough, we may not know him that well, but we know you, we didn't expect you to be with a guy _like that_?" Casey said.

"Like what?" Hector asked.

"You know what I mean, I mean look at him," Casey said.

"What? That he's too good for me?" Hector asked.

"Not at all, the opposite. I mean take away his money and what is he? What does he offer?" Casey asked.

"You don't know Ollie the way I know Ollie," Hector said. "In fact, you don't know him at all. He has a really big heart, a huge one. Don't you know how hard it was for him to come here and meet everyone. The Ghostwriter team is intimidating for outsiders! And also, he's not even sure if he's gay and told me he didn't want to make public displays of our relationship, but he came here and declared I was his boyfriend in front of everyone in this room! It's hard enough coming out but to come out like that..it shows how much he's putting himself out there...for me!" Hector said.

"Did he come out to his parents yet?" Casey asked seriously.

"Well, considering he just declared we were boyfriends, I think we're not there yet," Hector said.

"Oh Hector!" Casey said exasperatedly. "Him coming out should not be dependent on him having a boyfriend."

"What do you know about it?" Hector asked. "So many people don't come out until they are in a relationship. It's fucking scary. So forgive him if he may not yet have told have conservative WASPy parents who may disown him and take away everything he has and may need a supportive partner to be there for him when he does. I mean he himself is still trying to figure it out."

"Did he tell you any of that or did you just imagine that?" Casey asked.

"Well…a little from column A and a little from column B…." Hector replied realizing he made most of that up.

"Hector!" Rhonda drunkenly screamed. "I love your boyfriend!"

"Yeah man," Shayla said. "He's awesome and fun! We just did shots. He wants you to do some too! Come on we should celebrate!"

Linda then dragged Hector towards Ollie and Alex who were sharing shots.

Casey looked at the group. She saw Lenni and Rob dancing like mad on the dance floor; Jamal on the phone with whoever it was he's been contacting all day while sipping his drink and looking like he was holding less back; Gaby joining the rest of them for shots because obviously Gaby could not resist; and the two cops and their partners also joining in for shots with the short redhead starting to sing some Irish baroque folk song with others slurring the words along phonetically.

Casey sighed at the thought of being yet again the only sober one here tonight. Then she started making mental notes for her next comedy routine. She then caught Erica's eye who smiled at her then made the most ridiculous and silly face contorting it all kinds of ways, to which Casey could not help but laugh wholeheartedly. That was very Lucille Ball and Casey approved.

* * *

"Hey…hey…guys…this is it," Tina overheard Alex said whispering to Jamal and Rob as he led them to their bedroom.

 _What was going on?_ Tina wondered. Before she could follow them, Gaby and Lenni pulled her into another dance.

After about ten minutes, Tina finally got herself free from them. _What was with them?_

"Tina! Come back! Don't go to your room!" bellowed Gaby drunkenly.

"Why are you yelling?" Tina asked. "I'm right here."

"Sorry!" Lenni also yelled. "We just don't want you to go to the room! We want you to stay here with us!"

"I already heard it from field reporter Gaby Fernandez, thank you anchor Lenni." Tina said.

She walked straight into the bedroom and saw Alex hurriedly closing the door of the wall safe.

 _Oh My God!_ Tina thought.

"Are you showing them your gun?!" Tina asked. "That 's so dangerous!"

"What?! Of course not!" Alex said. "My gun isn't even here, it's locked up at the station. I won't need it on vacation," Alex said.

"Oh," Tina said feeling incredibly stupid and angry at herself for thinking Alex would do something so reckless. He may be drunk now, but he was never reckless. "Sorry, _Anh._ "

Alex smiled, and walked towards Tina and gave her a tight squeeze. He then placed his face close to Tina's head and smelled her hair. "It's ok, _Em._ I love you. You can always yell at me, and I'll be here smiling and giving you a hug."

 _Ok, he's really drunk_ , Tina thought. She looked behind Alex and saw Jamal and Rob doubling over in laughter. They were pretty red themselves, well at least as far as Tina could tell, Jamal was red.

"But what were you guys doing in there?" Tina asked.

"Oh, just guys talk. We were swapping stories," Rob said.

"Gross! Were you guys talking about having sex with Lenni and me today?" Tina asked.

"No, we did that earlier," Alex said smiling and then squeezing closer to Tina.

"What?" Tina asked horrified again.

"Oh don't act like you, Lenni, and Gaby weren't talking about it when you were out there on the fire escape." Rob said. "The three yentas of Eastwick."

"Gaby and I aren't even Jewish," Tina responded laughing at the imagery anyway.

"Yeah, we know what you girls are up to," Jamal fired back raising an eyebrow to Tina.

"Ok fine, you win," Tina conceded. "But why was the wall safe door open?"

"Oh, I was just showing them how it worked," Alex said. "It's pretty cool, right?" Alex said this time sounding much less drunk and a lot more forceful as he looked at Jamal and Rob.

"Oh yeah, we just never saw one like this," Jamal said.

"Right, the technologically-advanced amenities given to Brooklyn apartments these days are simply incredible. Betty Smith would be amazed. _A Computerized Wall Safe Grows In Brooklyn._ " Rob said knocking hard on the safe wall, then rubbing his hand out of pain.

"Ok," Tina said before leaving the room. _I know when I'm not wanted._

"Wait, _Em!_ What about a kiss?" Alex said.

"What? In front of them?" Tina said pointing at Rob and Jamal.

"Oh, they don't mind! Do you guys?" Alex asked.

"Uh, we could just leave," Jamal said clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I need to go out there now…" Rob said shuffling off and grabbing Jamal with him.

" _Anh!_ Not know. We have an apartment full of guests," Tina said.

"Come on…" Alex said inching closer to Tina. "I'm in pain."

"No you're not," Tina said amused at Alex trying to be a lothario right now.

"I'm gonna jump out the window!" Alex exclaimed.

"What?!" Tina yelled going from amused to bewildered.

It took Daniel, Yvette, Jamal, Gaby, and Lenni to pull Alex away from one of the apartment windows as Shayla enjoyed playing with Tina's Lana Barnes' brand stretch bands.

"I wasn't really going to jump," Alex said smiling at Tina.

Lenni watched finally noticing Alex's Yankees swag. "Ew, what stinks? Oh it's the smell from Yankees Stadium."

"Ok, now I'm gonna jump," Alex said joking.

"Hey, we're here!" Koji said with Mickey along his side. Tina turned. _They finally showed up!_

"Alex, man, what are you doing?" Mickey asked seeing Alex pretending to try to jump out the window.

Somehow, Alex's weird scene made the party goers want to sit around the living room and play drinking games.

Hector sat with Ollie on the couch. Hector felt embarrassed that in the span of the hour Ollie had been there, he was challenging everyone to shots to which more people than Hector had expected joined in. Then Ollie started slapping people on the back and calling them "amigo". However, to Hector's surprise the detectives did it back to him and they ended up exchanging numbers. Then Ollie spoke to Koji and Mickey about their their line of work asking them pointed questions about camera work and cinematography to which they were more than happy to answer. Then they enjoyed a beer together. Ollie then was super impressed that Linda was attending the Fashion Institute of Technology to which Linda started asking him what sort of patterns and fabrics Ollie liked best and asked him why he chose the clothes that he did.

Hector then felt Ollie wrapping his ankle over Hector's. Now Hector was the one afraid of PDA. They were in front of his friends, his childhood friends, the ones he solved mysteries with the help of a friendly neighborhood blind, deaf, and mute ghost. Hector could feel them watching him and Ollie like hawks waiting to pounce with all their little judgments the way Gaby and Casey had done. And the way Alex had done when he was just being introduced to Ollie. _What was their problem?_ Hector then wondered what Ghostwriter would think about Ollie.

Then Ollie wrapped both of his legs around Hector's torso and pulled him down over Erica and Thalia's laps in some sort of judo hold.

"Ollie? What are you doing?"

"I don't know," Ollie answered honestly. Erica and Thalia laughed as they helpfully put them upright again.

Ollie then sat upright, and grabbed Hector by the arms and intently looked into his eyes. He was fully serious now. "I just know that when we first kissed, it felt like the first time for me. Like I finally understood what all the fuss was about having your first kiss. You give me butterflies, Hector."

Ollie then laid a big fat kiss on Hector with plenty of tongue. Hector was half-embarrassed but also half-swooning at Ollie's very public confession. Hector gave Ollie deep kisses back.

Erica and Thalia then led a chant "kiss kiss kiss!" to which the party goers _sans_ the Ghostwriter team joined in.

Casey watched the scene unfolding in front of her and wondered what the eff Ollie was doing to Hector on that couch. Then Rhonda wobbled by and said, "Man, this party is great! Look…look at that guy!" pointing to Ollie, "he's a barrel of laughs!"

"A barrel of…since when do you talk like that?"

* * *

Gaby looked around the room and saw nothing but couples. She saw Alex feeding Tina some guacamole then kiss the spot on her face where some residue was left. She saw Jamal on the phone with someone who had to be his girlfriend now. She saw the cute Irish-American redhead detective with that beautiful blonde making out in a corner. She then saw Lenni and Rob holding hands and being deep in conversation, probably discussing something about her next album or his next novel. Hector and Ollie were talking intently…well at least Hector seemed like he was talking intently while Ollie was going in-between speaking seriously and trying to tongue on of Hector's earlobes. The black lesbian detective and her partner were huddled in a corner caressing each other's faces and hair. Then she saw Koji and Linda flirting with Shayla and Mickey rap battling. _Wait, Linda was only eighteen!_

Then Gaby saw Tina walk over and pull Koji away to discuss something with him with Linda looking incensed. Gaby didn't blame her. Koji had that cool artist chill Japanese vibe. Casey and Rhonda were not a couple but they were unattached best friends, The kind of friendship that both she and Tina used to enjoy. Gaby looked towards Tina missing that close friendship they once had.

Gaby turned to find a quiet corner right outside Alex's apartment's door. Going against her better judgment decided to call Gabriel to see if he still wanted to come to the party even though it was past midnight, which was nothing for them since they worked these hours anyway.

No answer.

Gaby's brain started running a million miles a minute. Maybe he was asleep. Or maybe he drove back to D.C. to be with his wife. That seemed unlikely since he was working tomorrow night at Tyre. Still.

Then suddenly, Gaby felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Ollie.

 _How did he find her in this private corner outside the apartment?_ Gaby wondered.

"Hey, sorry for scaring you. I saw you walk out and I thought you were leaving the party. I wanted to speak to you before you left." Ollie said cheerfully.

"Oh, I'm not leaving," Gaby said. "I'm staying over so I don't have to go all the way home tonight."

"Cool. Well, how have you been since last Friday?" Ollie asked warmly.

"Oh, I've been good," Gaby said keeping her guard up.

"Listen, I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of us that night," Ollie said.

"Oh, it's no problem. It's my job, and Hector is one of my closest friends," Gaby said.

"I'm glad Hector introduced me to you guys, you guys really are a warm group and really treat each other like family. Hector deserves to have people who really care about him," Ollie said wandering his gaze towards Hector through the open apartment door.

Gaby tried to study Ollie's expression to detect if he was playing some well-strategized long game with her to get her to approve of Ollie. But it was clear to Gaby that Ollie was too buzzed to be doing any of that. She watched Ollie's expression closely and saw a real affection towards Hector as Ollie looked at him.

"Hector and I….we got into a fight this afternoon. I'll spare you the details, but it was about me not wanting to meet his friends. I admit I didn't want to come because I was scared. I never had a relationship before. I mean not a serious one. I had girlfriends for brief periods and kissed them and all that, but none of them felt like what I have with Hector."

Ollie then turned to Gaby and continued, "Honestly, this all new to me and it's scary. Today, he got mad at me for not wanting to go to this party and then insinuated I was only treating this casually or that I only intended to have _fun_ with him and then forget him. That really hurt. I stormed out his dorm room.

I was so mad because...he didn't understand that this past week…it's been the best week of my life. I could not believe he thought that of me. But then I was drinking at the bar by the law school, alone and I got to thinking. Maybe I did something to make him think that. Then I went through it over and over in my head. That's why I decided to come. I want Hector to know I'm serious. And I also want to be a part of his life, including meeting his friends."

Gaby then saw tears form in Ollie's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Ollie continued. "I've just been drinking so I think I'm getting emotional right now. It's just a lot…coming to terms with who I am and then finding someone I truly connect with for the first time…it really does feel like the first time…you know that feeling of first love? I thought it wasn't real or it wasn't meant for me and something was wrong with me, but then I met Hector and I…now I…have to deal with…telling my family…and…"

"Hey Hey, it's ok," Gaby said hugging Ollie who was shaking. They held this embrace until Ollie stopped shaking.

"Thanks Gaby," Ollie said still red eyed as he wiped his tears with his monogramed designer handkerchief.

"I really owe you one for taking care of us last week, and now for calming me down. You really are the best and deserve the best," Ollie said smiling. "Since you work in Long Island City, just come by the law school and hang with us some time. We're a pretty nice bunch," Ollie said before hugging Gaby one more time and making his way towards Hector who embraced Ollie.

Gaby smiled at the sight. Then she felt her phone buzz. It was Gabriel. Gaby decided to ignore that call. Right now, she just wanted to join the party and have a good time.

Gaby made her way over to the Ghostwriter team. They continued to dance, sing, and simply do their thing. They were the Ghostwriter team. They could do anything.


	13. Chapter 12: Crimson and Clover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the party. Alex and Tina regale Gaby with a well-worn story of when they first officially became a couple in high school. Lots of cameos and Easter Eggs for the Ghostwriter fans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally a one-shot fic I published on FanFiction.net back in 2010 before I wrote the rest of this story that I did not pick up seriously until 2019. So there may be some inconsistencies.
> 
> It takes place during the morning after where the previous chapter, "Everybody", ended. It's a story of Alex, Tina, and Gaby reliving an old memory of when Alex and Tina first became seriously romantically involved. Think of this as my "high school rom-com" chapter.
> 
> Although I'd like to think they were serious when they "dated" during the show, obviously with Tina being ten-years-old and Alex twelve and the fact that this was a PBS show, they could not take their relationship to the next level or delve into it any deeper than the show already had. I felt it made the most sense for Alex and Tina to rekindle their romance at this point in their lives and obviously, the teenaged years and high school are the perfect settings to write this as one's self-centered view on life plus hormones heightens everything you're going through and feeling.
> 
> Obviously, the setting that I originally envisioned for this chapter has now changed. I originally wrote this to take place during the Summer 2006, but obviously my fic is still set on September 2005. When I came back to this fanfic and was planning and outlining the timeline of events, I thought the summer of 2006 was too late to jump-start the events of this story, especially for Tina and Alex and what I have planned for them. Just imagine there's a heat wave in New York in September. It happens.
> 
> I also wrote originally wrote Alex's apartment to be a bit grungier than it is now, but that was because back in 2010, I was living in an apartment at the time that mirrored my original vision. Now that I've lived in Brooklyn for seven years, I now have a much better idea of how Alex's apartment should look like, and someone like Alex with his NYPD Detective-Investigator salary should be able to afford something better even if Brooklyn and NYC in general is expensive.

**September 2005 - The Morning After the Party**

Tina Nguyen awoke from the bed feeling nice and snuggled. It took a few moments for her to register the nice, warm body wrapped around her. Maybe too warm. Tina knew she couldn't simply nudge Alex off of her because past experience had taught her that doing so would only make him hold on tighter. She, however, knew exactly what to do. The first step was to tickle Alex's ribs. Right on cue, he began to shift. She then started to lightly poke Alex's belly and side. Alex prided himself on his workouts that hardened his abs, but Tina felt some flab around his abdomen. "Ha", Tina thought. Alex was starting to let himself go a little bit. No wonder he kept pestering Hector to go to the gym with him.

After a few more pokes, Alex's body took the hint and he turned over to continue his snoring. Alex's quiet snores were quite soothing to Tina's ears and tempted her to get back to sleep. "No," Tina thought. It was important that she get up. This was the first day of Alex's week-long vacation and as the new mistress of this apartment, she needed to stake her claim. As many times as Tina slept over, this place did not feel like hers to command until it felt as thought it was her space as well. When Alex and Tina established her permanent living plans last night, Tina began to have ideas running a mile-a-minute over what she planned to do with Alex's uninspired dynamic. Furniture was set up at strange, awkward angles and it seemed as though Alex just halfheartedly threw miscellaneous items wherever they were convenient.

Just thinking about her and Alex's shared space excited her too much that she couldn't just stay in bed, no matter how inviting and comfortable that option was. After cooling down, Tina got up and put on one of Alex's oversize T-shirts. Not only did putting on Alex's shirts increase Tina's sense of belonging, but she always felt that doing so allowed her to have Alex with her no matter where he was. This little exercise, seemingly insignificant and silly, would prove to be helpful in the future when Tina would be up all night worrying about some late-night assignment her Detective would be on that put him in the line of fire.

She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth when she saw how tangled up and greasy her hair was. "Gross," Tina said to herself before she began to wash her face. Alex didn't have any face moisturizer and Tina didn't think to bring any from her house. However, she saw the box of tampons that Alex embarrassingly threw at her during their argument about whether or not they were already living together the night before. Typical. After washing her face with bar soap, Tina walked out of the bedroom; she looked around the living room and realized how daunting her task would be. She pondered how in the hell was she going to fit all of her DVDs, movie equipment, books, clothes, artwork, and various miscellaneous items into the already crowded apartment. Tina looked around the cramped living room and saw four bookshelves already full with stacks of smelly books on the floor with no other place to go – these books mostly comprised of mystery novels, true-crime books, and criminology text books.

As Tina walked towards the kitchen, she overheard Alex's police radio sounding off some static from its tiny speakers. Tina turned it off habitually. Alex was on vacation damnit, and Tina didn't work overtime on her documentary in the prior weeks so she could have this weekend free just to be reminded about their real world. From her view, she saw some trees in the concrete sidewalk blowing outside the curtain-less windows and knew that there must have been a breeze. She walked up to the kitchen window wanting to open it to let some air in before she would make her breakfast tea. However, when she tried to open the window, she realized that it was stuck only allowing her open a small crack that she'd have to hold up for it to stay in that position. She also noticed a small bullet hole through the window. She wondered how that bullet hole got there on their floor before she realized the shape of it revealed that it was shot from the inside. Desperately, she pulled and pulled but it was no use.

"Ok…" Tina thought resigned to the permanent state of the window.

"Gotcha!"

All of a sudden Tina felt fingernails tickling the side of her ribs. The sudden tickling sensation startled Tina and caused her to instinctively leap into the air. Tina stumbled and turned. Gaby Fernandez eyed her up stifling a laugh. Tina just remembered that Gaby had slept over last night after having a few too many drinks.

"Cô gái này!"

"Huh?"

"Geez, Gaby, you scared me."

"That's why I said 'gotcha.' Come on, make me a cup of tea too, please?" Gaby grabbed a stool – one that Alex "borrowed" from the family's Bodega- and made herself right at home. Tina's sense of hospitality overpowered her slight annoyance at being sneak-attacked by the younger Fernandez.

After settling in with their tea, Tina and Gaby sat at the table, naturally gossiping about the going-ons in their lives. From Mickey's, Tina's camera man, over-the-top sex life to Melissa, Gaby's roommate, hooking up with a Dutch Geography professor from Gaby's department at Hunter College. What everyone at first thought to be a weird mutual attraction evolving to a fling ended up with him proposing and her accepting.

"Gee, that was fast, how long have they been together?"

"Four months, now, can you believe it? Time flies by. It seemed like it was only yesterday when I invited everyone out for drinks at that dive in Queens and dorky Andrew couldn't keep his eyes off of Melissa. Apparently it's true love," Gaby said batting her eyelashes at Tina.

"Well, Melissa is pretty dorky too." Tina sipped her tea and imagined tall, strawberry blond, pale Dutch Andrew being instantly attracted to short, darker-skinned, loud Melissa before continuing. "Are you sure he's just not looking for a way to get citizenship?"

"You know, I'm not sure," Gaby said, entertained by that idea. "He's white and Western European, they won't give them trouble if it's a marriage of convenience." Gaby was referring to USCIS (formerly known as INS).

"Yeah, but Melissa is Latina. Even if she is a citizen, they might try to deport her instead."

The two of them laughed hysterically, not truly knowing just how true that statement could be in some places.

"I'll get out of your hair soon, I promise. Let me just wake up first," yawned Gaby.

"No, stay as long as you like. Alex would love to see you before you go."

Gaby appreciated Tina's gesture. Even if Tina wasn't truly sincere, she knew that Tina did not want Gaby to feel unwelcome. "Yeah, if he ever wakes up."

"Ha-ha, I know. Unlike him, I could hold my liquor."

Gaby rolled her eyes at that statement. Tina liked to think that she held her liquor well but too much alcohol tended to make Tina the giddiest person in the world. "I haven't seen Alex drink so much in forever. I swear his face was totally red last night. I thought he was going to jump out of that window."

"Yeah, luckily they don't seem to open," Tina said with a tinge of frustration, "But you know, he deserves to let loose. He's been working so hard and it's good he's finally getting recognized. Anyway, thank goodness he's a happy drunk." Tina took a big gulp of her tea.

"Yeah, sometimes I think I like him better drunk."

"Gaby…" Tina said with a hint of disapproval.

Gaby smiled at Tina's trying to reprimand her. On one level it was said in such a protective manner – Tina protecting Alex was much too sweet for Gaby. On another level, it sounded as if Tina was taking sisterly tone with Gaby. That in itself wasn't so unusual after all these years they've been best friends, but it was nice to hear once again.

"Yeah, I can only imagine how hammered he'd be when he gets married." After saying that, Gaby quickly shut her mouth. Tina gave a short look of discomfort, but made no sign that alerted Gaby that she had said anything she oughtn't. For Gaby, it wasn't a matter of _if_ with Alex and Tina but _when_.

"Tell me the story again, Tina."

"Which story?"

"I need a pick me up, so the one with the happy ending, the first one."

"Oh geez, you mean that story?"

"Yeah."

"You heard it a million times, and you were there when it happened."

"No, I wasn't. I was still at Middle School in Hurston."

"But you were still around."

"Just do it for me."

"What if Alex overhears me?

"So?"

"Well, it's a little embarrassing."

"Oh come on, he loves that story too, I bet. I mean it's your two's first time."

"GABY!"

"Well, I didn't meant it like that. I mean it's you two's first time being official..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm too tired to tell this story. Plus, I forgot some details."

"I don't care. Use your imagination. I'm sure it'll make it more exciting."

"No."

"Come on!"

"How would you like it if I kept pestering you to tell me the time you lost your virginity to Jeffrey Baxter," Tina said while giving Gaby an exaggerated look of disgust, "you might as well as lost it to that creep Calvin Ferguson."

"Hey, Jeffrey was very cute and sweet!" protested Gaby, "Plus he was in college, so it was a step up for me at the time."

"Yeah, and he was also an idiot."

"Judgmental much? He simply marched to the beat of a different drummer, that's all." Gaby knew Tina's criticism of Jeffrey wasn't too serious since Tina, at the time, agreed that dim Jeffrey was cute.

"That's a nice way of saying he was an idiot."

"Whatever," said Gaby rolling her eyes. "He's a brilliant actor now."

"When was the last time you saw one of his plays?" asked Tina her tone changing from disdain to one of true curiosity.

"Two years ago, and he was very good. He had great comedic timing. He played the physical goof very well."

"I don't think that was acting."

"Ha-ha. Hey! Don't change the subject."

Tina just gave Gaby a sharp look that meant she wasn't in the mood.

"Oh, please oh please tell me."

"No."

They continued to go back and forth with Gaby's "please oh pleases" outnumbering Tina's "no's". In the end, Tina finally relented.

"Ok, but you better cook some toast. This story will be a while."

"Sure, but there's only one problem."

"What?"

"You have no bread."

Tina made a noise to indicate the level of her annoyance. "You should pay me to tell you this story, this is like the hundredth time."

"I will when you turn it into a movie."

"Ha Ha," Tina said sarcastically.

* * *

**Fall 1996**

Tina's Freshman and Alex, Lenni, and Jamal's Junior year of High School.

The busy halls were crowded with noise, activity, and a youthful energy that was infectious, exciting, and disruptive.

"So, how do you like high school so far, Tina?" asked Lenni walking with Tina.

"It's not too bad so far, but of course it's only just started."

"Yeah, once you reach Junior year, it'll seem like you've been in school forever. I can't wait for graduation."

"But won't you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"You know - all of this?"

"Sort of, but I think I'm ready to move on. I feel like I could be doing other things than spending so many hours inside a classroom."

"Huh," replied Tina thoughtfully. She thought that Lenni sounded exactly like her older brother Tuan. Both of them were musicians and it started to seem normal, to Tina, that all teenaged musicians wanted to drop out of school to work on their music. Tina was an artist as well, but the idea of dropping out of high school just didn't seem like a viable option to her. Just as Tina and Lenni turned a corner, Tina noticed a poster for the upcoming Homecoming dance.

Lenni noticed Tina eyeing the poster. "Are you going to Homecoming?"

"Well, I want to, but I don't want to go without a date."

"Why not? A lot of people do." Lenni saw that Tina was uncomfortable with that suggestion. "You know you could just go with Jamal, Jasmine, Tuan and me."

"I don't want to be an extra wheel or anything."

"Nah, you wouldn't be."

"Wouldn't it be weird, though? I wouldn't want to be completely surrounded by couples."

"Tina, you know Tuan and I aren't going out anymore. He's only offered to take me as a favor since I didn't have anybody else to go with. Plus we're performing a song together, so it makes sense."

"Yeah, but…"

"It won't be weird. Tuan and I are just friends now and we're fine with that. Besides, he used to drive me crazy with his bossiness."

"Yeah, I lived with him."

"How are the Leaping Dogs doing anyway?" Lenni asked referring to Tuan's rock band.

"Oh good, actually. He and his band just signed up for a 10 city tour opening for Semisonic along the East Coast in a month."

A light bulb flickered in Lenni's head. Finally an opportunity the Ghostwriter Team had been waiting for. "You know, Alex hasn't asked anyone to the dance yet," said Lenni slyly.

"I know," Tina responded sheepishly.

"Well?" asked Lenni with a smirk.

"Well, what?" asked Tina.

"Don't you think he might ask you?"

"What gives you that idea?" Tina convinced herself that this suggestion came out of leftfield.

"Well, it seems sort of natural, you know?"

"No, I don't know."

"Come on, Tina."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lenni. We're just friends, you know?" Tina said. Lenni gave Tina a skeptical look. "We're just friends and that's ok. Besides I'm sure he has plenty of other girls he could go with."

"That's for sure. He grew even taller over the summer and now a lot of the senior and junior girls are eying him up."

"Really?"

Lenni burst into a small fit laughter. Lenni thought it hilarious that Tina so readily believed that Alex had become the stud of Walt Whitman High. That said though, he did grow up to be quite handsome and he was starting to get a reputation for being a ladies' man. Another factor that led to this reputation was that his relationships tended to fizzle out due to the lack of interest on both parties. However, it only made Alex look like a heart-breaker and therefore more desirable by many. One night, Gaby had told Lenni and Tina that there seemed to be a running theme with Alex and his dates. According to Gaby, Alex would start out showering the girl with attention and begin the courtship with a bang. However, after the initial attraction waned, he would then grow bored with having to keep up with the relationship and the girls would grow impatient with Alex's lack of enthusiasm. Sometimes, the girls would complain that they'd be willing to go to the next step when he wasn't. All of these stories made Lenni laugh with amusement. Imagine a teenaged boy unwilling to take advantage of a girl's willingness to be bedded. She would later write a song about it titled "It's Just Hard Enough". In her liner notes, Lenni would dedicate the song to her "virtuous friend, Alejandro." She, of course, wouldn't write the song until after they had graduated high school when neither of them could be considered "virtuous".

"Hey, guys."

"Oh, hi, Alex," said Lenni.

"Hi," answered Tina slightly.

"So what's up? Anything new?" Alex asked casually.

"No, nothing yet," responded Lenni cheerfully.

Tina stood there looking at Alex then back at Lenni when she felt she was looking at him for too long. She wasn't usually this quiet or uncomfortable around Alex, but talk of homecoming tensed her up. When Tina looked back at Alex, he smiled at her. Tina smiled back in return.

"So…"

"We were just talking about Homecoming," said Lenni hoping that one of them would take the initiative. Lenni, Gaby, Jamal, Hector, and even Casey (who had just returned to Detroit to live with her recovering alcoholic mother) knew that Alex and Tina still had feelings for one another. But for some reason that none of them could quite understand, Tina and Alex would not admit to it. The team never quite understood why Alex and Tina had decided to just become friends during Alex's 8th grade year and Tina's 6th when things seemed to be working out, even heating up. When Gaby and Lenni wrote to Ghostwriter about it, he had told them that Alex and Tina were still very young (a little too young to be thinking about romances in his mind) and needed to figure things out on their own. He also told Gaby to try not to meddle and to not assume that Alex and Tina would ever get back together in that way again. Two and a half years later and it seemed as though the tension between Alex and Tina had actually grown worse.

"Oh really?" said Alex widening his smile.

"Yeah," answered Tina sheepishly. She didn't return the smile.

"Are you going, Tina?"

"I don't know, maybe. Are you?"

Alex hesitated and looked around. He started rubbing the back of his head then said, "I don't know, I was thinking about skipping it."

"Really, why?" Lenni asked sharply.

"I don't know, they're usually so lame, you know? Last year, I was bored out of mind."

"How could you be bored with Carrie Hewes? She was the co-captain of the Volleyball team."

"Well, I was," said Alex, quick to forget his short stint of being Carrie Hewes' boyfriend. "I think I would rather just stay home and read a mystery novel or something."

"Yeah, they can be so dumb…Anyway, I have to go to Algebra, I'll talk to you guys later." Tina walked quickly to her class.

Lenni turned to face Alex and simply shook her head before heading towards her class.

"What?" asked Alex, clearly confused about the situation at hand.

A week had passed and nothing occurred between Alex and Tina. Homecoming was coming up in two weeks and it looked as though Tina would end up like Alex and skip it. Tina didn't know exactly what was wrong. Alex and her were just friends, she was the one who told Alex that they were just friends and it was ok. To be fair to Alex, he never stopped giving hints that he liked her but she was too afraid to act upon those hints. What was she afraid of really? Was she really afraid or did she not even want to explore what could happen with Alex? Maybe he was just being friendly and his feelings for her were just platonic. It was ridiculous anyway. She was only 15…well almost 15. Wasn't she too young to be thinking about these things on those terms? Still, seeing Alex day after day and knowing he was unattached and uninterested in asking her stung. Alex, she thought, was very handsome…ok, she thought he was incredibly handsome. But he grew so tall and he just seemed so much older now. He now had a deeper voice, was not as clumsy (though still pretty goofy), and exuded a confident demeanor that had always been there but was now exaggerated with age and physical maturity. Tina noticed that all these pretty girls really were eying him up despite Lenni laughing at the idea. Any girl would be lucky to go on a date with him. Tina, meanwhile, still felt so young. She resolved to herself that she had served her purpose as the first childhood crush and Alex had already moved on. What Alex and her had as kids was really nothing much she convinced herself.

One afternoon, just as Tina was getting out of Photography Club, she heard somebody yelling after her from behind. Tina hesitated to turn around, not daring to hope that it was Alex.

"Yo, Tina!"

When Tina finally slowed her pace and turned around, she saw a familiar face. She hid her disappointment well.

"Oh, hi, Victor," said Tina.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"Wait, what?" Tina responded puzzled at the question.

"You look a little down, girl."

Tina did not expect to hear such bluntness from an acquaintance so soon into their friendly greetings. "Oh, it's nothing," Tina quickly responded, "I just got out of Photography Club and I ruined some of my prints," Tina lied.

"Aw, that's too bad, I bet they were some pretty nice pictures...Well, anyway, I haven't seen you in a while, what's going on?" asked Victor animatedly.

"Nothing much. How are you?"

"You know the last time we really saw each other? It must've been that time you were questioning me about the Dragons and I was a suspect when you got your jacket stolen."

"Oh yeah, but you weren't a real suspect. It was just that a good detective…"

"…follows every lead…I remember." Victor gave her a charming smile as he interrupted.

Tina couldn't help but smile back. Victor Torres was very easy to be around. Tina knew of Victor Torres through their mutual friend and member of the Ghostwriter team, Rob Baker when the team cleared him of vandalizing Hurston Middle School four years prior. He had a mysterious past, being a former member of the Latino gang, the Thunderheads, that made him interesting.

"Yeah, I just got out of track practice. That's why I'm a little…funky, ya know," said Victor as he pretended to smell his armpit. He was clearly amused with himself. Tina couldn't help but give a small, encouraging laugh.

"Oh, how was it?"

"It was good, you know how it is…"

"Yeah," Tina agreed, even though she never ran track before. "I was just on my way home."

"Hey, me too. Listen, do you mind if I walked with you?" When Tina gave Victor a look that clearly showed how surprised she was by the offer, he quickly added, "you know, it's almost dark and it's not too safe…you know."

Tina wondered how many times Victor said "you know" in their short exchange. That didn't matter at the moment. "Sure, why not," Tina said. Even if it wasn't really that dark, Victor was cute and wanted to walk her home.

* * *

**September 2005**

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that part," said Gaby. "Oh, Victor…" Gaby thought dreamingly of Victor. "He was cute, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, he was," said Tina. She continued to stir the tea. "Gaby, are you sure you want me to tell this story? I don't think I'm remembering it right. I feel like I'm forgetting things."

"Oh, no. Not this story again." Alex yawned as he wobbled his way to the kitchen counter. He stretched her limbs out and cracked his neck.

"Eeew," responded his sister in kind.

"What? It's natural," said Alex, winking at Tina.

Tina just shook her head and smiled. " _Anh_ , do you want anything to eat?"

"Nah, my stomach is still upset."

"Yeah, all that you drunk last night would've upset your stomach," said Tina jokingly reproaching him.

"More like all of those spring rolls he ate," added Gaby. "You're still such a pig."

"Hey, a man's gotta eat."

"You barely left any for the rest of us. Poor Rob is already so skinny. I'm sure Hector appreciated it since you made him so self-conscious about his body last night," Gaby said sarcastically. "You know how Hector is…"

"I didn't make him self-conscious. I just told him that we were both getting a little out-of-shape and that we needed to head to the gym or to the park for some exercise. Anyway, even if I did make him self-conscious, he needs to get over it. He wasn't always like this."

"Well, considering what he's been through, it's understandable, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I know but…"

Tina coughed. As much as she enjoyed the fact that this banter was getting her off the hook from retelling this story, she didn't want the two Fernandez siblings to have a heated blow-out.

"Tina, do you want me to fill in some of the holes?" offered Alex. "I think if you tell it, it might be a little one-sided." He smirked at her.

"Excuse me, Mr. Fernandez, but I believe that I have the ability to be objective." Tina cupped her mug and sipped refusing to look at her boyfriend.

"Uh huh…" Right when Tina gulped her tea, Alex went in for a kiss.

"Well, if you're going to help me out here, you better brush your teeth first," Tina said.

Gaby made a gagging noise. "I think I may have to join in. I could only imagine what Alex is going to put in this story."

Alex gave his sister an exaggerated agitated glance.

* * *

**Fall 1996**

Meanwhile at Lenni's apartment above the Fernandez's Bodega.

"I can't believe you aren't going Alex," whined Gaby hoping to annoy her older brother into submission.

"What do you care? You don't even go to our school, _Blabby_ ," said Alex stuffing popcorn into his mouth.

"You have to go," said Jamal. "I mean I'm going and I don't even go to your school so that means you have no reason not to go." Jamal said referring to the fact that he went to the High School of Science.

"That's because you're taking your girlfriend Jasmine. I don't have a date," Alex responded refusing to be swayed.

"Well, you could have," replied an irritated Lenni, unable to hold it in any longer.

"Yeah, who?"

"How about those girls that have been checking you out?" asked Gaby, half-sarcastically.

"I don't have any girls checking me out," shot Alex defensively. His cheeks betrayed him as he began to blush. "And don't say 'checking me out', it sounds weird coming from you."

"Why don't you ask Tina? She doesn't have a date either," offered Lenni.

"Tina? Why?" asked Alex.

"Why? Is the idea of asking Tina really that horrible for you?" asked Gaby accusingly. Though she was Alex's sister and loved him as much as any sister could, she was loyal to her best friend and did not want to see her hurt.

"No, but Tina wouldn't be interested." Alex wondered how this conversation snowballed in this way and didn't understand why they were all ganging up on him all of a sudden.

"What gives you that idea?" asked Jamal, truly curious. He had been there when Alex first laid eyes on Tina as 11/12 year-olds and obviously fell for and like the rest of the team, had seen their "relationship" blossom then evaporate without any sort of explanation.

"I just know," Alex said hoping to convince everybody in the room that that was a good enough reason.

"How?" asked Lenni.

"We had a talk and we're fine being friends." Alex thought that this was all well-established and therefore old news by now.

"Yeah, two years ago!" shot Gaby.

"Well, she hasn't shown any interest in me since then." Alex blurted saying more than he had intended.

"Why can't you two go as friends?" asked Jamal. "It doesn't have to be romantic, I mean, you two are good friends."

"That would just be too weird," said Alex.

"Why? If you're so fine with being friends with her, then it shouldn't be weird," said Gaby completely sarcastic now.

"I don't want her to say no, ok?" Alex said immediately, regretting it right away.

The team finally became silent.

After some dead air, Alex took the opportunity to finally get away from this assault. "I don't appreciate the third degree from you guys…if I wanted to go then I'd just go!" Alex was angrier than he thought. He stormed out of Lenni's.

Realizing that confronting Alex in this manner might not have been the wisest thing to do, Jamal said, "Let me handle this." Jamal ran after Alex.

"I just don't get it," said Gaby after Jamal had left.

"Yeah, I know. It's so obvious that they like each other," said Lenni grabbing two Snapples from the fridge and handing one to Gaby.

"I know! Remember the last Rally? Alex and Tina stood next to each other. They always find some way to stand next to each other or be near each other" Gaby twisted off the cap and took a big chug.

"Or smile at each other or give each other looks...we all noticed that." Lenni sipped on her drink.

"Yeah, Alex is always looking at Tina! It's so obvious," an exasperated Gaby said. After landing back on Earth, Gaby reflected upon the situation.

"You know, maybe Alex has a point," said Lenni, "if we all see that Alex has been giving Tina all of this attention, then it seems that it doesn't make sense if she doesn't notice it either. I mean he has shown Tina that he was interested, but she always seems to sort of shy away from it. Maybe…she doesn't care for the attention he gives her."

"Tina's just shy, you know that," said Gaby defensively. "Maybe she doesn't notice the attention or she thinks he isn't giving her any attention and it's all in her head. I wonder about that stuff all the time too. You know how it is. It's different when you're the one in the situation. We're lucky because we get to notice it from the outside, but people get dumb once they are in the inside."

"Whose side are you on?" asked an amused but bewildered Lenni.

"Nobody's! I just want to give you a full picture here. Tina is very shy, like totally out-of-this-world-I-hate-being-around-strangers-I-rather-be-shot-and-die-than-talk-in-public-can't-show-my-true-feelings-"

"Ok, I get it, Gaby. We all know that, but Tina seems fine when she talks to us or when she interrogates witnesses or suspects for our cases. Plus, she was taking those acting classes with Hector and she seems better now."

"Yeah, but that's different. That's Tina's job. She's not really putting herself out there, you know? I've spoken to her about this."

"You have? Did she tell you that she liked Alex?"

"Not exactly, but I can tell."

"How, Gaby?" Lenni asked skeptically. She knew that Gaby had the tendency to let her imagination get the better of her and sometimes reality got in the way.

"The way she talks about him or the way she looks at him when she thinks nobody is noticing and the way she finds any excuse to come to the Bodega."

"But Gaby, she's your best friend, why would her coming to see you mean she wants to see Alex? Maybe you're letting your own imagination get in the way of what's really there." Lenni backed up before saying this next thing. She didn't need another Fernandez to lose it. "No offense, but you do that all the time."

"Hey!" responded Gaby. Instead of exploding, Gaby just continued. "Trust me on this one. She's always coming by for things she doesn't have to, like buying detergent when there are stores closer to her house or dropping off a sheet of paper to me or something. Anyway, I know she adores Alex, and I know Alex likes her a lot. He talks about Tina the way he never talks about any of his other girlfriends."

"Really? He talks about Tina?" asked Lenni. This was certainly news.

"ALL THE TIME! 'Tina is so amazing' this and 'did you see what Tina did?' that and don't forget the 'she's really something.' It's so annoying. Ok, it's sort of cute, but still annoying."

"Huh…" Lenni said, taking a big gulp of her drink.

Instead of going down to the Bodega, Alex rushed towards the basketball courts. He was supposed to help his parents with a shipment in an hour and a half, but he wasn't thinking about that at the moment.

"Hey, Alex!" yelled Jamal.

"Hey, Jamal," Alex said in a more sober tone. Alex found a basketball nearby and was shooting it into the baskets in-between his dribbling. Jamal noticed that Alex was handling the ball with more aggression than was necessary.

"What happened back there?" asked Jamal catching his breath. Jamal considered himself to be in great shape - being a black belt and all - but he had trouble keeping up with Alex at the rate he was going.

"I don't know, man. I didn't mean to blow up like that. It just happened." Alex didn't bother looking at Jamal when he answered him. He went up for a shot and missed.

Refusing to be ignored and not wanting to waste that effort chasing him down, Jamal decided to just ask it. "I'm just going to ask you this straight out. What's going on between you and Tina?"

"Nothing." Alex tried for another shot and missed again.

"And that's the problem." Jamal crossed his arms and gave Alex his signature _I know what you're really up to_ look.

"Why are you guys making a problem when there isn't one?" said Alex, finally looking at Jamal.

"Because we know you two like each other. And the fact you two won't do anything about it is annoying the rest of the team."

"That's not true, Rob isn't annoyed." Alex laughed, a little pleased with himself.

"It helps that Rob is hundreds of thousands miles away. Even Ghostwriter is wondering what's going on." That got Alex's attention. Had the omnipresent being named _Ghostwriter_ been asking questions too? Could Ghostwriter somehow read their thoughts? Alex quickly dismissed that thought, as he knew full well that Ghostwriter could only read and write. However, Ghostwriter could understand and feel the emotions of the team members. Knowing that made Alex uncomfortable because that meant that Ghostwriter might have the potential to delve deep into their thoughts and psyche. Even though they had known this mysterious spiritual being for nearly five years now and considered him to be one the family, there was still much the team and Ghostwriter himself didn't know about what/who he was or what he was really capable of doing. "Ghostwriter knows about you two only because Gaby writes to him about it all the time. It's gotten to the point where he even asked us what was going on. He's really worried."

Alex stayed silent.

Jamal took the silence as Alex's consent to keep going. "Just admit it. You know you two have feelings for each other."

"No, we don't." Alex shot and missed another one. "Man!" Alex wanted to throw the ball to the chain link fence.

"Alex, I know you like her, you've pretty much told me. Just last week you said…"

"No, I didn't say I didn't have feelings for her. I said that we didn't have feelings for each other."

Jamal understood what Alex had meant now. This was a bit surprising to him. Alex was always so sure of himself. He was never too shy to say anything or approach someone. "Why are you scared of her now, man? You weren't before and besides, that's unlike you. I mean it's Tina. That's all. It's just…Tina."

Alex thought for a moment. It was just Tina. What was he so afraid of? It was he who initiated their first kiss in the dumpster after being chased by a fat bald man who they filmed destroying evidence, right? Then it was he who always offered to walk her home and it was he who kissed her again at the doorsteps. Maybe he was tired of putting himself out there for her. She never did it for him. Why was she worth the effort? He only thought that she was so smart and creative with those movies she was always making and stories she wanted to tell on film. Let's not forget that she was so pretty…beautiful even. She never failed to allure him with her long black hair and cute figure. And her smile. She could make him melt with that smile that was warm, friendly, and cute but also a bit flirtatious…inviting even. Alex tried for another shot and made it into the net. "She knows how I feel, and she hasn't done anything to indicate that she changed her mind about _just being friends_. It was at this basketball court where she told me that we were just friends and that that was ok. I tried to convince myself that being friends was good. Who was I kidding?"

"You can't hold her to that. She was just a little girl when she said that. You were young too. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it." Finally, some progress, Jamal thought.

"Yeah, well, she sure acts like she's still a little girl sometimes."

"She's not the only one. You do too, well a little boy, I mean," responded Jamal. Alex gave Jamal an annoyed glance, then went for another shot. "If you really like her, you have to make the first move. You know how Tina is."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Jamal."

"Fine," said Jamal tired of this circular conversation. Ghostwriter was right. They should have just left well enough alone. Jamal then snuck behind Alex and stole the ball right from under him and went for a shot. He made it in. "You know how I did that?"

"You're naturally gifted," said Alex, making a slight joke about Jamal being the _brown guy_.

"Ha-Ha, no, it's because I'm in love."

Alex just shook his head.

After talking about how Jamal and Jasmine's relationship was heating up, the two friends departed the basketball courts. Suddenly, Alex knew what he wanted to do. "Hey, Jamal, I'll see you at Homecoming."

"I think we'll see each other before then...wait, what? Really?"

"I'll talk to you later!" Alex shouted as he ran towards Tina's. He felt light on his feet.

When Alex knocked on The Nguyens' door, he felt a little knot in his stomach. He hadn't expected to get there so soon. What was he doing here? Maybe he was making a mistake. Before he could turn around and run away, the door creaked open.

"Oh, hello, Alex."

Alex looked at the tall Asian lady in front of him. Mrs. Nguyen was a long-limbed woman with a long face accentuated by her short hairstyle. She always seemed strict to Alex and made him nervous. How was she going to be like if he started dating her oldest daughter?

"Hi, Mrs. Nguyen. How are you doing?"

"I'm quite well. Thank you for asking Alex. Would you like to come in?"

Before Alex could answer, Mrs. Nguyen motioned him in.

"Would you like to see Tina?"

"Yeah," said Alex nervously. As Mrs. Nguyen left to go towards the hall, Alex exhaled.

"Hi, Alex!" screamed Linda, Tina's 8 year-old sister.

"Hey, Linda!" Before Alex knew it, Linda rushed towards Alex and wrapped her arms around him.

"I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?"

Before Alex could answer, Linda started telling him what happened at school between two of her friends who were no longer talking to her because she refused to lie about how ugly their outfits were.

"Linda!" yelled Tina. "Get out of here," Tina said sternly.

"Aw, no fair! Alex doesn't come around much anymore!" whined Linda. "and and...I want to talk to Alex."

"Well, so do I," replied Tina.

Alex's heart skipped a beat upon hearing that. Maybe this wouldn't go so badly after all. After some back and forth, Tina finally got Linda to leave them alone, well, with Mrs. Nguyen watching them in the kitchen.

"Sorry about that, Alex."

"No problem, Tina."

After greeting each other, they settled on sitting on the couch. In awkward silence. Alex didn't realize he was taking up more than 2/3 of the couch space, but Tina didn't mind it. The silence was deafening and neither of them knew why they weren't saying anything.

Tina finally spoke. "So…would you like a…"

"Oh, well, Tina. Listen, I came here to ask you something."

"Yes?"

Alex felt a bead or two of sweat falling down his cheek and he was sure that his armpits smelled pretty musty now after that impromptu basketball game. However, he needed to keep his cool and tell Tina what he came there to tell her.

"Tina…I…I…"

Tina's eyes grew wider and she wasn't sure what to make of Alex at the moment.

"Listen, Tina, ."

Despite Alex's rapid-fire delivery, Tina understood every word.

"Oh, Alex…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really happy you asked, but…"

Alex's heart sank at the word "but". He went all the way over here, mustered up the courage to ask Tina out on a date, only to be shot down. This was confirmation of all of his suspicions. Why did he let the gang convince him otherwise? "But you don't want to go with me?" Alex said without letting Tina finish her statement.

"No, it's just that Victor Torres already asked me, just now actually, and I accepted."

Alex couldn't believe it. What if he had been there an hour earlier? He could have been the one taking Tina to the dance. What was Victor Torres doing over at Tina's anyway? Did he walk her home? Are they going out? Did he like her? Worse…did she like him? Alex felt he had a sure-fire way of finding out.

"Cancel on him," demanded Alex.

"I can't do that!" responded Tina not meaning to sound as if she was reprimanding him for bad language.

"Tina!" yelled Mrs. Nguyen. "Don't be rude, he's a guest."

Tina ignored her mom. Seriously, considering the situation, was etiquette really important at the moment?

"You won't do it because you just don't feel the same way about me the way I do about you, you never have!"

"That's not fair…"

Alex saw Mrs. Nguyen watching this scene and felt embarrassed and a little ashamed. He quickly apologized to Mrs. Nguyen and left the house. All Alex thought about was running away from there as quickly as possible. He wasn't sure where he was going but he knew he needed to get out of there. After running for about five minutes, he wasn't quite sure where he was exactly but knew that the sun was setting pretty soon so he should make his way back to the Bodega. Just then he heard someone yelling for him.

"Alex! I've been calling your name for the past 5 blocks. You know how stupid we look?"

"Oh, is that all you care about?" Alex instantly knew who it was. In the future, Alex wondered why the fact that she ran after him didn't surprise him at the time the way it should have. Although he couldn't truly figure it out, he would forever by grateful.

"Don't twist my words, Alex Fernandez!"

"Yeah, well…"

"Well what?"

"I want you to say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you don't have feelings for me. That's how you feel, right?"

Aggravated and turning red, Tina looked as if she was ready to explode. "This is all your fault!"

"How is it my fault?" asked Alex, confused and a little frightened at the direction this was going.

"If you just asked me earlier and not as an afterthought or out of pity then I wouldn't be going with Victor Torres, who by the way is a true gentleman. He opened the door and pulled up a chair for me when we got ice cream and everything."

"Oh that's nice, that's because he's got experience!"

"Look who's talking?" scoffed Tina. "You're the one with a date every week and breaking girls hearts by teasing them then forgetting them."

"What? That's not what I do."

"Liar!"

"No."

"Yes"

"No!"

"Si Si, tu est."

"Don't use your Freshmen Spanish on me."

"Hey, at least I'm trying to learning Spanish, I don't see you or anyone else taking the time to learn Vietnamese, well, except Ghostwriter."

"Yeah, well…" Alex didn't know what to say after that.

"Well what?" asked Tina with her arms crossed.

Alex just stood there not knowing what to say exactly.

"I'm one too, you know."

"One what?"

"A gentleman. I used to hold out the chairs for you…I used to pull out the computer chair for you when you typed to Ghostwriter and I held doors for you and let you in places first and I make sure I don't do anything rude while I'm with you."

"You don't think you do anything rude?" Tina laughed.

"No, I don't think I do. I'm perfectly polite when I'm with you." Alex was getting angry that Tina didn't notice his valiant effort being a total gentleman.

"Yeah, well, you don't have to bother. We're only friends, remember?"

"Whose fault is that?"

"Don't blame this on me."

"You were the one who told me that whatever happened between us happened in the past and that, what was it? Oh yeah, that we were friends and that was ok."

"Yeah, because you stopped calling me or you felt weird about not asking me to go out and you stopped walking me home and whatever."

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to be so quick to say that we were 'good friends'. I remember that."

All of a sudden Tina just lunged at Alex hitting him with everything she had.

"Hey! Hey! Stop that!"

"That's it! Just don't talk to me or go near me anymore."

"That's a bit hard, isn't it? I mean you're always at the Bodega." Alex felt proud of his comeback.

Tina reacted by hitting him again, this time even harder. Alex tried to block her assault but she got a few blows in. He didn't know she could hit that hard. Her eyes were watery and her face was bright red. Finally, Alex grabbed hold of her wrists to stop the assault. He all of a sudden pulled her closer to him and held her. He squeezed her until she stopped shaking with rage. At first Alex thought he was only doing that to calm her down but recognized quickly that this was more for him. Alex dreamt of this moment but this was hardly the ideal circumstance. He still couldn't help but feel happy at his current position. Right when he was about to soak in the embrace Tina undercut him in the gut.

Alex got the wind knocked out of him and when he finally came to, Tina was already gone.

Tina ran all the way to her house. She didn't care who she ran into. When she finally made it home, she saw her dad, Linda, and her mom sitting on the couch watching some Vietnamese-dubbed soap opera about an evil brother and a good brother and their martyred mother. Tina ignored her father's questions of where she had been and what had happened and ran straight to her room. When Chi was about to get up to investigate, Minh stopped him.

" _Anh_ , let me handle this," said Tina's mom.

"But, what happened? I want to know if she's hurt," said her concerned father.

"It's ok, let me talk to her, please."

He knew that she could handle this better than him, so he submitted.

"I want to see what happened too!" yelled Linda.

" _No_ ," both of them said strictly.

"You stay here and talk to your father," said Minh.

Linda couldn't think of anything more boring at the moment. Then Chi started making goofy faces to appease his daughter. Despite being eight, not three, that did the trick.

Tina didn't hear a knock on her door when Minh came in. Her parents didn't believe in having locks on their children's doors. Tina hated how the idea of privacy was considered "too American" and "utterly ridiculous" to her parents. What was worse was still having to share a room with Linda even after her brother Tuan moved out. Her parents were still convinced he'd come back eventually.

"Tina…" Minh saw Tina sobbing into her pillow.

" _Chau_ , what happened? Where's Alex?"

At that mere mention of his name, Tina screamed into her pillow.

"I see…" After a few moments of Minh caressing Tina's back and pulling her hair out of her face, Tina finally looked up to face her mother. Her face was raw and tired from crying.

"Mẹ, he was so mean."

"Was he?"

"Yeah, he blames me for everything that happened between us."

"WHAT happened between you two?" asked Minh, unsure where this was going. She never had to deal with this from Tuan. Tuan usually kept his romantic liaisons to himself or he would talk to Chi. This was Minh's first time to deal with this sort of thing. She was usually so sure when dealing with Tina's problems such as later bedtimes, types of clothes she was allowed to wear, curfews, how many people on the street she was allowed to bother to film, and the like. However, her baby and romance? That was foreign to her. Minh's sisters and brothers had trouble with their daughters as well and Minh tried to learn from their examples, but had forgotten everything when it was finally her turn to face this situation. She finally resigned to herself that if she didn't offer Tina the best advice, then she'd learn from it for when it was Linda's turn.

"Nothing! I just don't get it, we're friends."

"It sounds like he likes you, Tina."

Tina thought for a second. He did like her, didn't he? This should have been a relief to her, but instead it felt like the end of the world.

"I just didn't think he did…I…I…I was sure he just didn't like me that way, but he thinks that I led him on or something."

"Did you?"

"MOM!" Whose side was she on, anyway?

"Tina, I've known that Alex has liked you for a very long time, I even told you he did."

"You're my mom, you would say anybody liked me, plus you hardly see him, so how would you even know?"

"It's obvious when your friends are here, Tina. He looks at you differently than the way the other boys do."

"He never asked me out or anything, how was I supposed to know?"

"He's a boy, they're different."

"Did ba (dad) ever make it hard for you?"

Minh thought for a moment.

"Yes, he made it hard."

"Really?"

"Yes, you know how your father is. He has trouble expressing his feelings, you know that." Minh said, surprising herself by acknowledging how true that statement was.

"I just thought it was just his English," said Tina referring to her father's difficult grasp of the English language.

"Even in Vietnamese, he has trouble saying how he feels. That's the way Vietnamese men are."

"He seems to express it just fine when he yells at us or is commanding us around."

"Tina, your father yelling at you kids is…well, one part of it is that he just wants what's best for you." Tina knew that was coming. "But another part is that he yells because he's frustrated he can't speak to you the way he really wants to so it comes out very harsh."

Upon reflection, Tina knew her mother was right. Tina wasn't quite ready or in the mood to get into the psychological make-up of her father just yet. "If you're right about Alex, then it's too late."

"Tina, you're so young, why is it too late?"

"Because I'm going to the dance with Victor Torres."

"It's only one dance, Tina."

"Yeah, but Alex won't want me now. He thinks me not canceling on Victor means I don't like him."

"He's just mad that he lost this chance. He'll calm down and when his head is clear-"

"But, I hit him."

"Tina!"

"I did, many times. I couldn't control myself; I wanted to hurt him - badly. I don't know what came over me."

"I'm sure you didn't hurt him too badly," Minh said. She was actually entertained by the idea of her tiny daughter attacking the tall fit boy. However, she was also horrified that Tina displayed herself in such a disrespectful manner.

"I told him to never talk to me or even stand near me."

"Oh Tina," Minh said smiling, "that would be difficult with you being best friends with his sister."

"I know, now I have to stop talking to Gaby." Tina started to sob again.

Minh chuckled at Tina. She wasn't sure how she got such a dramatic daughter. Just then Chi uncharacteristically knocked on Tina's door and entered without waiting for an answer.

"Tina," said Chi uncomfortably. "It's the phone. Gaby. She wants to talk to you."

"Go on, Tina," said Minh encouragingly.

Alex stormed into the Bodega and ignored his family's calls to start stocking up the cans of cat food. Gaby and his mother Estella had a look of confusion as Alex ignored their calls. Alex went to his room and fell to his bed. He started angrily punching his mattress when Eduardo came in.

"Alejandro, don't you ignore me when I talk to you. Where were you this afternoon? It's almost dark and I need you to help with the stock." Eduardo eased up after seeing a visibly troubled Alex. "Alejandro, what happened?" Eduardo approached his son.

"Nothing, Papa. I'll go and help. Sorry about rushing past you."

"No, no, it's ok. Tell me, niño,"

"I'm not a niño anymore."

"Alright, hijo," said Eduardo.

The two of them sat on Alex's bed for quite some time. Eduardo waited for Alex, ready when he was. "Why are girls so hard to figure out?" Alex finally asked.

"Ah," Eduardo thought. _Of course_. He knew this time would come sooner or later. He prepared himself for this ever since Alex had asked him for advice on talking to women/girls almost four years ago. Or was it five? Anyway, he had expected to have this talk sooner.

"What girl is giving you a problem, now?"

"Does it matter?" answered Alex exasperatedly.

"What do you think, Alejandro?"

Alex thought for a moment. Of course it mattered. He knew that he couldn't keep this from his father any longer. This whole thing started the first time Alex asked his father about girls. He was writing different ways he could tell Tina that he liked her. However, nothing sounded right and as soon as he called her, he'd just hang up. His father caught him throwing balls of paper in the trash and wondered what was going on. After their talk, Eduardo asked Alex who it was he was talking about, and Alex, of course, didn't tell him anything. "It's Tina, Papa."

"Tina! You mean out of all the girls I see you take out, it's Tina that's giving you the problem?" Eduardo laughed.

Alex couldn't help but laugh a little at his father's awkward phrasing. He began to laugh at the situation he found himself in, although it didn't take away the sting. "Yeah, sort of funny, huh?"

"Well, she is a very pretty girl." Eduardo looked at Alex and smiled.

"Yeah." Alex answered without looking at his papa.

"And you two have been friends for a long time."

"Yeah."

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't know. We kind of got into a fight. I mean I said some really mean stuff to her, Papa." Alex read a look of disapproval on Eduardo's face. "I didn't mean to say those things, it just came out. I just wanted her to feel something, something bad, I guess."

"Yeah, I know how you feel."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I never told you this story, but your Mama and I…when we were younger in El Salvador, about 17 or 18, I don't remember, anyway, she broke my heart. Si, it's true. We had a time where no mater what, we ended up fighting all the time. I don't really remember why, but we were both young and hot-tempered, plus El Salvador is very hot so it makes us a little…uh…"

"Temperamental?"

"Si, that's the word. Anyway, we were going through a bad time. Finally after a bad fight, she said to me that I was too hot-tempered for her and that she needed to be with someone more mature. She said she needed to find somebody who knew what he wanted. I was 18, Alejandro, I didn't know what I wanted…your Mama…she can be so serious…"

"What did you do?" asked Alex, not wanting his father to lose focus.

"Oh, we started fighting. It was…explosive. I called her all sorts of bad names- the worst I ever called her. Finally, I told her that I was the best thing to happen to her and she'd be nothing now she wasn't with me and would continue to be nothing."

"What did she do?"

"She said that I was already nothing and that she already had plans to go out with another boy. I was so embarrassed. The other people in the street, well, they laughed. I actually wanted to run and away…go someplace nobody could find me, but I was too proud, Alejandro. So I just laughed and laughed at her and said I didn't care about her anymore and that she could do what she wanted. I said that if that boy broke her heart and treated like trash, don't come crying to me because I'd have girls lining up at my door easy."

"You actually said all of those things?" Alex didn't understand how his parents would have been able to reconcile after that.

"Sí."

"Why did mama forgive you? That sounds really terrible."

"Well, your mama and I…deep down we knew how much we cared for one another. She wanted me to wake up…sorry, to grow up. She was right. We were both getting older and I was still acting like a child. If I didn't shape up, she could have found somebody else."

"Really?"

"Well, I knew that in the end, your mama and I would be together. I just saw this as an… obstáculo…eh, you know a short problem." Eduardo saw Alex not totally understanding where Eduardo was taking this.

"What did you do for her to forgive you?"

"It's embarrassing, Alejandro, but I well...I cried to her."

"YOU CRIED?"

"Yes yes, I cried my heart out to her and told her I was nothing without her and that I'd do everything to prove to her that I deserved her."

"Weren't you embarrassed though?"

"No, I didn't care about that. Thinking back and remembering, yes I am embarrassed now, but at the time, I wasn't because all I cared about was getting your mama back."

Alex just sat there silently reflecting. Eduardo wasn't sure what Alex was thinking. Eduardo felt an inclination to continue. "Sometimes, women and men need time to figure things out, Alejandro. It may seem impossible at the time, but if you feel it's worth it, then you should fight for it. But don't forget to respect the other person's wishes too. Sometimes you lose a fight and have to move on."

"But how can you fight for what you want if the other person doesn't want the same thing? And how can you tell if the other person doesn't want what you want?"

"Well, you see, I…" Eduardo was stumped. "Well, you see…it's just something you feel. Comprendes?"

"But…"

"Believe, Alejandro. When you find someone you are willing to fight for, you know. Don't be afraid of getting hurt Alejandro. The only thing worse than pain is regret."

Alex thought it was such a corny thing to say and it didn't seem very useful. However, Eduardo had planted a seed in Alex's mind. Was Tina worth fighting for?

Alex started to remember the time when he ran for Class President at Hurston Middle School. In the years to come, when Alex would feel sentimental, he would sometimes wonder why this particular memory came into his head at that exact moment. Whatever it was…there was no denying that it woke him up.

* * *

**_Fall 1992_ **

_At the height of election season, Alex Fernandez was a popular candidate and it looked as though he would sail into victory. That is until somebody started a damaging smear campaign. The campaign consisted of clever posters aimed to humiliate him and make the voters second-guess their confidence in Alex. The illustrative showed off embarrassing personal secrets that nobody else knew except for Gaby and Alex himself. It had gotten so bad that he was literally laughed out of school one day. Principal Kelly didn't exactly help when she made an announcement that this type of malicious behavior would not be tolerated. This now ensured that the entire school knew about the posters. When the team brainstormed ways to help Alex continue his campaign (without resorting to the dirty tricks by the unknown assailant) Tina came up with the idea of doing a video to help Alex's campaign. The purpose was to showcase Alex as a strong candidate for office. After Tina convinced Alex that his ambitious idea to make a video of him beating up a giant chicken wouldn't be possible with their limited resources, they decided on what they should do. They woke up early one morning (and with the help of a four year-old Linda) and went to work on their campaign video._

" _Tina, do you think the video turned out ok."_

" _Oh yeah, definitely, even if we had to do a lot of takes, thanks to Linda."_

" _Hey!" Linda responded. It wasn't her fault she couldn't remember her one line, "it's too dark." Tina and Alex laughed as poor Linda crossed her arms and pouted._

" _You didn't have to walk us home, Alex."_

" _I know, but I thought it'd be nice," Alex said avoiding eye contact. "You know," Alex quickly added shrugging his shoulders for emphasis._

" _Yeah. I really hope you win the election Alex," Tina said quickly. She saw Alex facing her and quickly added, "I mean, you deserve it after all that mudslinging. I really want to find out who's responsible for this."_

" _You really mean that?"_

" _Of course, I wouldn't lie to you…to a friend."_

" _Yeah, I know you wouldn't lie. You really think I deserve it, though?"_

_Tina laughed at Alex's redundancy. "Yeah, why do you think I'm doing this video for you?"_

" _I thought it was just you being nice…because we're friends and all."_

" _Speaking of friends," Tina said, "how did you get so many pen pals?" Tina was referring to Alex's dozen or so pen pals. They were from around the world and they all so happened to be girls. His mother told Tina and Jamal that "Alex couldn't help it if he wrote such charming letters," before embarrassing him._

_Alex lowered his head too embarrassed to look at Tina. "Well, I got started when we did a Pen Pal assignment at Washington and well, I liked it a lot. Oh and don't listen to Gaby. They're not my girlfriends."_

_Tina tried hard not to laugh but it was obvious she was amused. "Ok, Alex."_

" _Anyway, you can write to them because you don't see them every day. You don't even meet them in person. So it lets you write with more…freedom. I can open myself up more."_

" _Yeah, that's cool." Tina understood how writing in near anonymity would be enticing._

" _Tina?"_

" _Yeah, Alex?"_

" _How did you get into making movies? Gaby tells me that you go to Washington on some weekends to edit your footage yourself." Alex wanted to make sure that Tina knew he was paying her a compliment. "I mean that's really cool, most kids I know don't even know how to work a VCR, but you know how to make movies that we can put in our VCRs."_

" _Oh, it's not that big of a deal really," Tina said nervously._

" _Come on," responded Alex._

" _Well, when I was little, I used to stay at my parents' tailor shop everyday. My parents had to watch me because Tuan was too young to do it. They thought it was best if I went to work with them so they could keep an eye on me. But I didn't really have any other kids to play with. I was sort of just stuck with my mom and dad and their customers. Sometimes my aunt or uncles could come and bring my cousins and that'd be really fun but it didn't happen too often. Well, I think I was misbehaving too much because my parents said that I kept getting in the way of everything and that I wouldn't shut up."_

" _Really?" Alex asked, surprised. Tina being a chatterbox like Gaby? Who knew?_

" _Yeah. So my dad had the idea to buy a used TV for me to watch in the back while they worked. So I ended up watching TV, a lot of TV. I used to spend the whole day watching old movies. During the day, that's all they played. I would watch PBS and Sesame Street and all that. It was actually Tuan and PBS that taught me English because my parents only spoke to me in Vietnamese at the time before they gave up. I loved all the stories. I was too young to think about making movies, but I remember knowing that I wanted to do something with movies. I would act out scenes and memorize lines. It was so fun. I used to go up to my room and just pretend I was in a movie. That's how I started watching Lana Barnes movies when I found out she lived in Brooklyn too, I made a promise to myself that I would meet her one day." Tina turned to face Alex who just gaped at her. She didn't mean to talk so much._

_Encouragingly, Alex said, "you mean the action star?"_

" _Yeah," Tina figured she might as well continue, "they used to run her movies marathon-style all the time, and she was my idol. She was never afraid to speak her mind, she knew how to throw a punch, swing on a vine, fly ad airplane, ride a horse and jump over cliffs, all of that. I could never be that way."_

" _Who says you can't?"_

" _You mean swinging over pools filled with crocodiles or sky diving out of a burning airplane? Somehow I don't think I can."_

" _You know what I mean."_

" _Well, I just know I'm not that kind of person."_

" _What kind of person? You never know what you can do until you try." Alex said that with admirable confidence._

" _I think I'm right about this." Tina wanted to let the subject drop._

" _Let me tell you something, when I took swimming lessons one summer, there was this boy who would make fun of me and tell me I was going to drown. I was so scared and I thought I'd never be able to swim. But after that guy made fun of me, I had to prove him wrong. By the end of the summer, I swam faster than him. So you never know what you're capable of unless you try. I mean you make these great movies already just imagine if you just…well you know."_

" _You think my movies are great?"_

" _Well…I think, you know they're cool."_

_Tina smiled, but didn't know what to say to that. The two of them walked side-by-side with Alex periodically dribbling his basketball. Linda was frolicking in front of them. Tina warned Linda to be careful while Alex told Tina to let her run around a bit. Kids needed to let loose sometimes. He called Linda and bounced his basketball towards her. Linda tried to catch it but her arms couldn't fully grasp the ball and she ended up dropping it. The ball rolled towards the park._

_Alex and Tina instinctively ran after her as she chased after it. Running into foot and bike traffic forced Tina and Alex to maneuvering around pedestrians, carts, and cyclists. When Alex finally got a hold of Linda, Tina caught up with them, but was in such a panic rush that she didn't stop in time and tripped over the two of them. They toppled over each other. Tina and Alex began to laugh hysterically._

" _Ow!" Linda yelped. Linda began crying over some pain on her knee and Tina checked it out._

" _Oh, Linda, it's nothing. Not even a scratch." Tina was slightly embarrassed at Linda's behavior. She knew what was coming. Linda was a pro at manipulating people to gain sympathy to get her way._

" _But it hurts!" Linda's crying worsened. Now Tina was really embarrassed._

" _Hey, Linda…" Alex chimed in. Linda gave Alex her attention. "Let me take a look at that knee."_

" _Ok…" Linda said stifling her tears._

_Alex pretended to carefully examine her perfectly fine knee. "Ah, I see the problem," Alex said. "You have a broken…tear under your skin."_

_Linda screamed. Her crying grew more violent. Linda wasn't faking it anymore._

" _Alex!" Tina yelled._

" _Uh…Linda, I mean that it's ok because I know how to fix that."_

" _Oh really?" Linda said after a few more sobs._

" _Yeah, let me see." Alex then rubbed Linda's knee in a circular motion then gently tapped her knee. "There, I fixed it." Alex smiled at Linda._

" _Really?"_

" _Yeah, you don't believe me?"_

_Linda thought about it for a moment. "I believe you." She finally said. She sprung back up and started skipping._

_Alex turned towards Tina and realized she had been smiling at him. He blushed. They continued on their path to the Nguyen's tailor shop._

" _Hey, Tina," Alex said, "do you want to see something cool?"_

" _Sure."_

" _I want to see!" exclaimed Linda._

" _Ok, look." Alex took the basketball and spun it around his index finger. However, he lost balance right after the ball spun on his finger and it flew out and hit Tina right on her face._

" _OW!"_

" _Oh wow, Tina! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm really sorry, Tina. I'm sorry-"_

" _Alex, it's alright!" said Tina. "The ball just took me by surprise that's all. I'm not that delicate."_

_No she wasn't, Alex thought._

_When they reached the tailor shop Linda ran inside to aggressively hug her mom. Minh looked out to Tina then at Alex. She gave an uncertain look then went back to her sewing. Tina's father, Chi, was animatedly talking to one of their customers. Upon hearing Linda's noisy entrance, Chi propped her up and showed her off to the customer._

" _I have to go inside and help with the shop. My mom thinks I'm not helping enough." Tina said with a tinge of disappointment._

" _Oh, yeah, it's cool. I have to go back to the Bodega and sweep the sidewalk then help water the vegetables and unpack the supplies."_

" _Parents always make you work."_

" _I know, just when you're having fun, they have to ruin it!" Alex said giving an exaggerated gesture then waving his hands, almost hitting Tina in his excitement. "Alejandro, you have to put your family first!" said Alex mockingly._

_Tina laughed hysterically. "Tina, you have to work hard and 'spect your parents," Tina said in her best impression of her father. "Tina, stop dreaming in the clouds, we came all the way from Vietnam with nothing to give you a life here. If you were in Vietnam you'd be working in the streets and selling cigarettes."_

" _Alejandro, you want to get paid? I'll tell you what you get paid with!" Alex then raised his backhand to imitate his dad threatening him with a smack, "You get paid with…"_

"… _the clothes on your back, the food on the table, and the roof over your head!" both of them said._

_Both of them bowled over laughing. After the laughter subdued, Tina had noticed Alex already stopped laughing and was looking at her. When she noticed, he quickly looked away causing Tina to turn towards the tailor shop window and notice her mom staring right at her. She turned back to Alex to say her goodbye. It looked like he wanted to give her a hug, but Alex instead gave her an enthusiastic hi-five then ran back to the Bodega. Before Tina walked into the store, she heard Alex yell out to her. "Hey, Tina! Thanks for everything. Your video is going to win me the election for sure!" Although Alex didn't win the election, due to Calvin Ferguson's aggressive smear campaign, Alex would later be grateful that this allowed Tina and him to have this memory._

* * *

**Fall 1996** _  
_

If Alex wondered if she was worth it before, now he knew for sure what his answer was. Tina was someone to fight for. He knew it. Yes, he was afraid to go after her, but he wasn't a coward, he has just never been tested. He ran to his closet to look for something. He found his nice black slacks and sports coat and his nice tie…his only tie. However, he couldn't find the shirt he wanted to wear. Eduardo just looked on not knowing what Alex was doing.

"Papa, do you remember that green shirt I wore to Auntie Karina's wedding?"

"Sí"

"Do you know where it is?"

Tina and Victor saw more of each other in the following two weeks leading up to Homecoming. No, Gaby did not blame Tina and Tina did not have to find somebody else to be her best friend. Tina and Alex, however, did avoid one another. If one was talking to Lenni, the other one would just pass by hoping not to be noticed. Unfortunately for them, it didn't work.

The Friday before Homecoming, Victor took Tina out for an early dinner. He had been trying to make a play for her, but it never felt right. Either Tina would shy away from him or he saw an opportunity and tried to go for it only to get cold feet. He would have to settle for hand-holding (which took a week of casual meetings in order to get that far).

"This restaurant is good, I've been here before and it's well, you know…good."

"Yeah, I was here before too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, one time, Gaby, Lenni, Jamal, Hector, Casey, A- and I went here to…hang."

"Oh." Victor and Tina sat in a brief silence. They looked at each other and Tina just offered a small smile to Victor. Victor seemed a little disappointed. "You guys are pretty close, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you can say that."

"Guess? You guys have a reputation at school."

"What do you mean?"

"You guys go around trying to solve the problems around here, and some people are scared when one of you guys approach them."

"What do you mean _scared_?"

"Just that you tend to only talk to them when you need information." Victor laughed. He glanced at Tina who was not amused. "Oh come on, you have to have known that you guys can be a bit…well, scary."

"That's not fair. Yeah, sometimes we ask questions and whatever, but just because one of us says 'hi' or wants to know 'what's up' we really mean it."

"I know, I know, no need to get defensive."

Tina crossed her arms and looked away from Victor.

"Come on, Tina. I didn't mean to make you mad." When that didn't help matters, Victor reached out and touched Tina's hands. Tina wanted to snap them away, but being touched by Victor Torres wasn't so bad. "Wow."

"What?"

"You let me grab your hands." Victor smirked at her.

"Why is that so surprising?" Tina was ready to slide her hands away if it wasn't for the fact that she wanted to make a point.

"Well, usually when I do something that direct, you find some way to back away."

"No, I don't. We held hands before."

"Yeah, but not like this." Victor then grabbed Tina's hands and kissed them. That, Tina minded, but she didn't have the heart to pull away after what he said to her. "Girl, that was nice."

Tina gave Victor a half-hearted smile.

"You have real self-esteem issues, you know that?"

"I don't like the way this dinner is going."

"Sorry. I don't want to talk about you like that and this dinner isn't exactly going the way I want, but I have to say it. You're really shy, Tina Nguyen."

"Nice pronunciation of my name. You didn't pronounce the 'n'."

"Yeah, there are a lot of Vietnamese people in my building. Why do _you_ pronounce the 'n' at school?"

"Because some families do. Not mine though, but it's easier. When I was younger, nobody knew how to pronounce it, and all the teachers would pronounce it 'nu-win' or 'n-goy-en' when it's really more like 'wuen'."

"So you let other people tell you how to say your name."

"That's not what I said!" Tina was getting annoyed with Victor. He starting to be a smart-ass.

"That's not how I meant it to sound, but I just think if it's pronounced a certain way, you shouldn't have to make it easier for people. If they care, they'll say it right."

What Victor saw as yielding to other people, Tina just saw as being accommodating to other people's inability to speak Vietnamese. And yet, how hard was it really to say Nguyen correctly?

"Hey, Tina." Victor said sensing Tina's discomfort. "Let's start over, I didn't mean for dinner to go like this. I speak my mind, but sometimes that means I say things before I think." Victor goofily shrugged his shoulders.

"No, this is a good conversation." Tina wanted turn this conversation around and she knew Victor didn't intend for dinner to turn out like this.

"Really?" asked a bewildered Victor.

"Yeah, I think it's good to talk about these things."

"Huh." Victor looked at Tina, obviously never experiencing a date quite like this.

"Yeah, I mean the conversation isn't exactly…polite, but it's interesting."

"I never met a girl like you Tina."

"I'm sure you have."

"If I have, I never got into it this deep."

"Why not? There are a lot of girls out there."

"Well, just waiting for one to be worth my time, I guess."

Tina knew that that was such a pick-up line but she really didn't mind it. "I'm not that shy, you know?"

"Oh yeah?" Victor asked, slyly smiling. Was Tina hinting at something?

"Yeah, I'm taking acting classes."

"Oh, you want to act?" asked Victor disappointed that Tina had no hidden innuendo.

"Not necessarily, but I want to make movies and I think taking acting classes will help me when I have to direct or even write scenes. It allows you really dig deep inside of you and you don't know what comes out. It's scary but sort of-exhilarating at the same time." Tina was proud of herself for saying "exhilarating".

"Oh, so you write?"

"A little bit. I'm not great at it. Sometimes I feel like my writing is derived from other places, like other movies. It's hard to find anything original."

"You should write what you know, I do."

"Oh yeah, Rob told me you wrote. I remember that rap you did at Hurston. It was really deep."

"Oh yeah, you remember that? That's what I mean; you have to write what you know. Hey, how is Rob? Is he still in Australia?"

"I haven't written to Rob in a while, but he seems good. He wrote me about an idea about writing about the Outback, although he's never seen it. I joked that I was going to turn his book into a movie…I told him that I was going to name it 'A Dingo Ate My Baby'."

"Holy crap, does that really happen?"

Tina gave a look to the side. "Well, it happened once to a woman and she was accused of having some sort of religious ritual and sacrificed her newborn and went to jail. However, they discovered new evidence later and found that a dingo really ate her baby. They made a movie out of it with Meryl Streep."

"Oh."

 _Well, Rob got the joke,_ Tina thought.

During their walk back to Tina's after dinner, Victor tried to grab Tina's hand but she instinctively pulled away not realizing what she had done. Victor hung his head low. When Tina looked up at Victor, she saw his disappointment.

"Victor, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"Yeah you did."

"No, it's just I'm not used to well…this public affection."

"No, it's alright. I know you're not used to it, that's why you didn't let me grab your hand. I told you that you were shy." Victor said triumphantly then offered Tina a friendly smile.

Tina had had enough. She was getting tired of having other people tell her who she was or how she acts. _I'll show him shy_ , Tina thought. Tina grabbed Victor's face and laid a kiss on his lips.

Victor was taken by surprised and was simply speechless. To make sure he got the message, Tina went in for an even deeper kiss. This time, she wasn't sure when she would let go.

At Tina's door, Victor and Tina were certainly holding each other's hands publicly. After their goodbyes, Tina entered through the door and saw her brother Tuan. There was no mistaking that big head of his. He was watching MTV2 and The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love" was playing.

On the TV, she saw the front man with big black hair, red lipstick, swinging his microphone, with the set changing backgrounds every so often. Tina loved this song and didn't care if people scoffed when she said it was her favorite Cure song. Tuan was one of the scoffers.

_Monday, you can hold your head_

_Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed_

_Or Thursday - watch the walls instead_

_It's Friday, I'm in love_

_Saturday, wait_

Tuan turned around and saw his sister. He smiled at her, but then couldn't help himself. "Well, look at who it is…what's up, player?"

"Shut up, Tony-Baloney."

"Is that any way to talk to your elder? Make me some tea, and no back talk."

"You've only been back for two days and you're already being a pest." Usually Tina would have said this with teasing, but something in her voice indicated that she was bothered.

"Oh come on, little sister, you know I didn't meant that." Tuan didn't know what he did but he wanted to diffuse the situation.

"What did you mean, though?"

"About what?"

"You called me a _player_."

"Oh, I was just joking, I didn't mean anything by it."

"Something must have made you say that."

"I was just joking that you're going out with that new kid when Alex asked you to the dance."

"Who told you? Was it Lenni?"

"No, it was Linda. Tina, it's not that serious, I just thought it was funny. I wanted to congratulate you."

"LINDA!"

Tuan didn't understand why Tina was acting this way. Surely, it wasn't that serious, was it?

"What?" answered Linda.

"Stop telling the whole world my business!"

"That's not fair, you tell your friends everything I do!"

"She's got a point," said Tuan.

"Stay out of it, Tuan. Linda, that's different!"

"How?" asked Linda. She wasn't going to back down.

"Yeah, how?" asked Tuan.

"Because you're only eight, you have no business to tell."

"Yes I do! Just because I'm not some teen queen fighting away boyfriends doesn't mean I don't have a life too!"

"Who taught you speak to your older sister like that?"

"YOU DID!" Both Tuan and Linda answered.

"Ugh!" Tina went to her room and closed her bedroom door behind her. Linda knew better than to come in at this moment. Tina was angry. She wasn't sure why. She had a great time tonight. Tina dropped to her bed and thought about everything…Victor, dating, the kiss, and then making out - the first time Tina made out with anyone…then the handholding. It felt good and Victor was obviously more than just a little interested in her. Tina suddenly sat up felt a tear go down her cheek…then another. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. This was a great night. What was wrong?

THE NIGHT OF HOMECOMING

Linda and Minh helped Tina fit into her dress. This was actually Tina's first real formal dance. The Hurston Junior High prom was a nice dance, but this was a real formal dance. She bought a crimson, square-necked dress with a vertical seam and a skirt that went down to her knees. It was a simple but perfect dress for Tina. It gave her a nice silhouette. Minh was able to tailor the dress to fit Tina perfectly. Although Minh had intended to make the dress looser as to not show too much, she couldn't help but want to make Tina look perfect. Her lipstick was also crimson red and she lightly put on some blush. She thought about putting on her red headband, but Minh thought it'd better if Tina used a matching red thin ribbon to tie around her slightly curled hair. This gave her a nice clean look and yet allowed her hair to flow down.

"One more thing, Tina," said Minh. Minh grabbed more of that simple thin of red ribbon and tied around Tina's waist. Tina looked at her reflection and tried not to be too immodest, but she couldn't help but beam at the sight of herself. This was exactly the look she was going for.

Victor Torres had already arrived when Minh was putting her final touches on Tina. When the three girls came out, what they saw was an awkward scene between Chi and Victor in the living room. It wasn't anything too uncomfortable and Chi was being as cordial as he could to Victor, but the tension was obvious. When Chi saw Minh come out, he impulsively said, "(Tuan should be here)." In Vietnamese.

"(Chi, you know Tuan had to rehearse with Lenni at the school. And we shouldn't be talking in Vietnamese in front of a guest who can't speak it)." Minh responded in kind.

"(I don't care to be polite for this one.)"

"Chi!" Tina fought everything to not give any part of that conversation away to Victor, but Minh gave it away.

Although Victor didn't know what they were saying, he got the hint.

Chi knew he was wrong, but couldn't shake the feeling. It wasn't this boy's fault. All he did was have an interest in his daughter. But he couldn't help it. Any boy wanting to take his daughter out was bad news. What made it worse was that Tina couldn't even find a nice Vietnamese boy to date. It was getting to the point that even a Catholic would do. Hell, any Asian would do at this point, even Chinese.

Victor stood up when Tina had come out of her room and exaggeratedly dropped his jaw. He ignored Chi and Minh's exchange, as did Tina.

"Wow, Tina, you look good." Victor wanted to shake the attention away from him by focusing on Tina.

"Thanks, Victor."

There was an awkward silence as both Tina and Victor felt her parents' gaze with Linda looking on - fighting off her fits of laughter.

"Um, we don't want to be late." Tina finally said.

Chi then said, "(She can't go out there like that)." Tina didn't notice it before but her father looked almost astounded at the sight of Tina. Minh told Chi it was all right and that they should trust Tina. Tina was embarrassed for Victor having to listen to her parents speak Vietnamese in his presence.

"Have her back home by ten," said Chi smiling, being as pleasant as he could.

Before Victor could say yes, Tina interrupted. "Ten? Dad…"

"Ok, Eleven." Said Minh.

"Eleven?" asked Chi. Was his wife losing her mind? You know what happens to girls after ten?

"Yes," answered Minh firmly. She wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, but at this moment, all she wanted was for Tina to have a good night. She sensed something lost and sad inside of Tina and she wanted her girl to forget any trouble she was having.

"Twelve?" asked Tina hoping for the best. She liked where this was going.

"Eleven Thirty," Chi said sarcastically.

"Thank you, Ba." Tina beamed at the opportunity to take advantage of her father. Tina hugged her father. It had been a while since Tina had hugged him, Chi realized. Chi pulled Tina in for a tighter embrace. After a moment, Chi finally let go. It didn't even occur to Tina to stop hugging first. Chi eyed Tina up and down. Tina thought she saw his eyes water, but it could have been her imagination.

"Tina, don't…." Chi then looked at Victor, then back at Minh and Linda then back at Tina. "Be good girl, huh?"

"Da Ba."

Once Victor and Tina were safely out of the house, both of them laughed out of sheer relief. Victor then grabbed Tina's hand. His touch sent a small shock through Tina's body. She fought her nervous reflex and allowed Victor to lead her to Homecoming.

At the Bodega

"Alex, you look fine…"

"You sure?"

"Yes…" said Gaby, feeling exhausted after watching Alex fix his hair for the past thirty minutes or so. Before that he was picking out different ties before he decided on a nice blue one to go with his clover-green shirt. It was the end of summer and he wouldn't be wearing that color for a while. The rest of the ensemble was easy because Alex only had one good pair of dress shoes, which he polished with religious determination, and one really good pair of black slacks for these kinds of occasions.

"Are you sure, I don't need the coat or something?"

"Alex! If you wear a coat, you'd be sweating puddles. It's hot outside."

"Yeah, but I thought it'd be nice." Alex wanted to look perfect.

"Why do you want to look that nice for? You're not taking anybody."

Alex turned back to his reflection to fix up his hair again doing his best to ignore his sister.

Gaby felt she said something too harsh. "Alex, I'm sorry. I'm just tired and I've been helping you for like two hours now."

Alex didn't say anything.

Gaby then went to Alex and helped him straighten out his tie. "Here." She then fixed up Alex's hair. "Now, you don't look so dorky."

"Do I look dorky?"

"No, Alex, you look fine. Maybe even handsome."

"Get out of here!"

"No, I'm serious. You do Alex."

"Thanks, Gaby." Alex went back to his reflection and couldn't help but admire the way he looked. Gaby was right.

"Ok, don't get carried away now." Gaby couldn't take how pleased he was at himself.

Alex gave Gaby an annoyed glare then started to make his way out of the Bodega.

"Tell Jamal and Jasmine I said 'hi!'"

Before Alex could go, his Mama and Papa stopped him.

"Alejandro, you look so handsome"

"Gracias, Mama, but I'm running late."

"I know…it's just…oh Alex. Be good, huh?"

"Si, Mama."

Eduardo didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He put his hand out to Alex and offered him a firm handshake. Alex took his father's hand and his father pulled Alex in for a hug. "Alejandro…don't be afraid," Eduardo whispered into Alex's ear.

"I'm not afraid, Papa." Alex smiled and left. Eduardo knew Alex was ready to conquer the world.

Alex briskly walked to Jamal's where they would go and pick up Jasmine and walk to Walt Whitman High. When Alex greeted Jamal, Jamal sensed something was up. "Hey, man, you look like you're preparing for something."

"Maybe I am," smiled Alex.

After Grandma CeCe was done taking multiple pictures of Jamal and Alex in their outfits, she finally let them go out to meet Jasmine.

"So, Alex…I think I'm going to tell Jasmine."

"Tell her what?"

"That I'm in love with her. She's the one, Alex."

Alex knew that he wasn't the only one with a mission tonight.

* * *

**September 2005**

"Don't skimp on the details!" complained Gaby.

"What are you talking about?" asked Alex. Tina was equally confused.

"You know this story won't have the same impact without Lenni's story," explained Gaby.

"I thought you wanted us to tell you _our_ story," said Alex.

"Yeah, but Lenni is sort of the reason why this story happened. Plus she told us what happened, so it's not like we don't know."

"Gaby, I don't remember everything that Lenni said," said Tina.

"Yeah, plus it's going off-tangent already." Alex stomach started to growl.

"Oh come on, we've made it this far."

Tina sighed. Gaby always loses focus. "Alright, but don't get mad at me if there are holes or whatever."

* * *

**Fall 1996**

At Walt Whitman High School, Alex and Jamal and Jasmine walked into the gym. They were late and the place was packed. It didn't take long to find Lenni and Tuan.

They gave each other obligatory hugs and hi-fives.

"Has anyone seen Tina, yet?" asked Jasmine who winked at Lenni. Lenni smiled.

"No, she isn't here yet," answered Tuan. Tuan saw Alex and tried to give him a supportive smile, but Alex looked preoccupied with looking around. "Alex, can I talk to you?"

"Oh, uh, sure," answered Alex still looking around not paying close attention.

Tuan turned, winked at Lenni, put his around Alex and led him away. Tuan was still his charming self and Lenni knew if Tuan asked, she still would.

"You still like him, don't you?" asked Jasmine noticing Lenni looking at Tuan.

"Who?"

Jasmine and Jamal looked at each other and laughed.

"Hey! That's not funny," answered Lenni. It wasn't very nice for two attached people to be mocking their single friend who was still pining for her ex.

"Lenni, it looks like Alex isn't the only one looking to get with his 'true love' back," said Jamal.

"Ha Ha, very funny." Lenni rolled her eyes. She made a mental note to get Jamal back.

"You know, we're just giving you a hard time. But it seems like you and Tuan get along nicely still," said Jamal.

"Yeah, I know, but how long is that going to last? It's nice when he's here, but he's never here. He's always out touring or hanging out with these new older people. We're just not on the same page. Today, it was so fun talking to him, but he kept name-dropping all of these musicians I've never heard of and we didn't really have much to talk about other than music."

"Yeah, Jamal, you need more than just one thing in common to have a relationship," said Jasmine chiding Jamal.

"Yeah, luckily we don't have that problem, right Jasmine?"

"Mmmmhmmm…we can talk about that later" Jasmine then turned to face Lenni and winked at her.

Lenni laughed. Jamal knew what was up and said, "Yeah, but I was hoping we wouldn't be doing much talking tonight."

Lenni burst out laughing while Jasmine feigned to be insulted. It was odd to see Jamal acting like some sort of romantic lead male with one-liners. He was still the Ghostwriter team leader to her…that same 11 year-old boy.

"Alex, I wanted to ask you something."

"I was wondering why you wanted to talk." Alex didn't expect to be talking to Tuan one-on-one tonight, though it made sense if Tuan knew of Alex's plan.

Tuan looked uncomfortable but went on. "What exactly are your intentions with my little sister?"

Alex wasn't prepared for that. "Um…"

"I need to know that if you some how get her that you wouldn't hurt her, on purpose, I mean."

Alex still didn't completely understand.

"Listen, Alex, I'm asking if you plan on playing her or something." Tuan sounded more aggressive than he intended to be. However, this was his little sister and as much as he liked Alex nobody was above his vengeful wrath.

"Of course not, Tuan! I would never want to hurt Tina." The thought of anyone thinking otherwise made Alex's blood boil.

"Well, what if she and this Victor guy hit it off or something? Are you going to get in her way?"

"I wouldn't be getting in her way, his maybe…"

"But you would be. What if Tina made up her mind and then you come along and you make her confused over what she wants?"

"Look, man, I don't know what to say. I just want her to know how I feel and that I'm…I'm sorry. The rest is up to her and I'll respect whatever she decides, but I have to let her know."

Tuan sized Alex up and said, "Good answer."

Alex exhaled. He didn't realize Tuan could be so scary.

"So, how's this Victor kid? Should I be warned of anything?"

"No, Victor is a nice guy, really."

"So you have no problem stealing a nice guy's girlfriend?"

Alex had to think for a moment. For anyone else, this situation could seem morally questionable. However, for Alex, everything was clear.

"I'm sorry if I end up hurting him for his sake, but I won't be sorry if things go my way."

Tuan couldn't help but smile at this kid. _I like this guy a lot_ , Tuan thought.

It was another ten minutes before Victor and Tina arrived. Tina saw Lenni, Jamal, and Jasmine talking near the staging area and greeted them. Victor nervously met the close-knit gang. Feeling his apprehensiveness, Jasmine told Victor, "it's alright, we don't bite." Jasmine knew full well what that feeling was like. She still didn't understand everything that held this group together, but she felt that Jamal would tell her everything when he was ready.

The group laughed.

After a few pleasantries, Victor asked Tina to dance and both of them hit the dance floor. When Tina and Victor were making their way to the floor, Tina noticed Alex and Tuan talking. _What were they talking about_ , Tina wondered. Just then Alex looked up and saw Tina watching him. She and Alex locked eyes before Tina looked away. Victor was too focused on leading Tina to the dance floor to notice.

The DJ just changed the song to the Mighty Mighty Bosstone's "The Impression That I Get." Victor jumped up and down to this song. That was one thing about Victor, he certainly wasn't afraid to dance. He was good at it. Tina got swept up in Victor's excitement and joined his crazy dancing that oddly mixed with the horns and speed of the song. Victor's dancing sort of reminded her of how crazy Rob used to dance. The team would always comment on how Rob's body contorted in ways they didn't know the human body could. One thing was for sure, Alex would never dance like this. He never danced, ever. She wondered what it would have been like if she went with Alex instead. She turned in the direction where Alex and Tuan were but they were already gone. She felt a tinge of disappointment seep through her despite Victor's infectious energy.

After the crowd dissipated for a small break. The DJ made an announcement that Tuan and Lenni would be performing a small set list after the break.

Alex took this opportunity to go up to Tina and Victor. However, Tina and Victor had already made their way to Jasmine, Jamal, Lenni, and Tuan.

"Hey, Victor."

"Hey, Alex! How you doin' buddy?" Victor put his arm around Alex and disheveled his hair. Victor was clearly still high on excitement.

"Tina." Alex said.

"Hi, Alex," Tina responded giving Alex a momentary glance.

After a brief but awkward conversation between Victor and Alex, Alex tried to get Tina's attention when Victor pulled her away and said, "sorry, but I see my friends over there and I want to say 'hi'." Victor reached out to shake Jamal's, Tuan's, and Alex's hands before he and Tina made their way towards the Track team.

"Lenni, we should get ready," said Tuan awkwardly.

"Yeah…talk to you after the set," said Lenni. She held Alex's hand to encourage him and left with Tuan.

"Hey, man, don't sweat it," said Jamal worried for his best friend.

"Yeah, you still have a chance to talk to her," offered Jasmine. Jasmine was also worried about Alex. She knew he was like a brother to Jamal and didn't like to see anybody beat himself up the way Alex looked like he was doing.

Alex apologetically made an excuse to leave and stomped off. This wasn't going the way he wanted. Maybe it'll never happen.

Lenni and Tuan performed their small set list. The last song they performed was the first one they ever did. It was during Lenni's eighth grade graduation and Tuan and her wrote a rap/rock inspired song called "Nothing Can Come Between Us."

_It's gonna be all right (All Right Now!)_

_Always stay true_

_Nothing can come between us (Nothing can come between us)_

_I'll always be there for you (I'll always be there for you)._

_Nothing's gonna stop the love of friends (Nothing's gonna stop nothing's gonna stop)_

After the last song, the crowed erupted into huge cheers. Somehow, in the past two years, Lenni and Tuan became known for that song in the Brooklyn school circuit and would periodically perform this piece in the schools in Fort Greene. If the song lost some of it's intensity, there was no denying there was an still intensity between Tuan and Lenni tonight. The rawness and emotion of this performance may be due to the fact that this would be the last time they would perform this song. They both didn't know that at the time, but they knew that this time it was different. After Lenni and Tuan performed the song, they stepped down, both dripping with sweat. After being hoarded by Lenni's classmates, they were left alone in a corner of the gym.

"Man, I look terrible," huffed and puffed Tuan.

"Losing your stamina old man?" Lenni asked teasingly.

"At least you still look good, Lenni."

"Thanks, Tuan."

"Listen…" they both said. Then they both reacted uncomfortably.

"Lenni, I don't know about you, but I still feel something."

"Tuan…"

"Lenni, let me finish. I just can't be with you right now. I have so many things I want to do, and I just can't keep this up. Even though I still like you, I don't want to keep thinking about how unfair it is that I'm leaving you behind and going through all these exciting things, you know concerts, bands, gigs, staying out all night, touring…I want to enjoy it."

"Tuan…it's ok, you can enjoy it," Lenni said.

"But Lenni, I can't…not if you're still there. I…I have to let you go so I can move on fully. Do you understand?"

Lenni nodded.

"This makes me an asshole, right?"

"No, it doesn't. I understand." Lenni lied. She didn't understand. She was going to let him go out and have fun and not guilt-trip him. What was the problem? The truth was that she felt he lied about having feelings for her.

"Lenni, I'm sorry I had to tell you this way, but after that song, I just felt it again and I can't fall back into that trap. I think I may go."

"Yeah, you should." Lenni said curtly. Both Tuan and Lenni were startled by her response.

Tuan was on his way out before he turned back to Lenni. "Lenni?"

"Yes, Tuan?"

Tuan wished he hadn't turned around. Seeing Lenni again made him feel like a full-fledged asshole now.

"Watch out for Tina for me, please?"

Lenni looked at Tuan, then at Alex standing with Jamal and Jasmine, then at Tina listening to Victor telling her a seemingly animated story.

"Of course I will."

"Thank you, Lenni."

"It's not for you, Tuan. Tina is one of my best friends, I'd do anything for her."

Tuan nodded than ran out.

Lenni started to breathe rapidly and she felt convulsions coming on. However, she got a hold of herself. _Not tonight_ Lenni thought. She made her way back to Jamal and Jasmine and Alex.

"Hey, you guys mind if me and Jasmine stepped out for a bit?"

"No, you go ahead, don't worry about me," said Alex. He knew this night was a big night for Jamal too. The last thing he wanted for was him to ruin Jamal's night.

"Are you sure, Alex?" asked a concerned Jasmine.

"Yeah, go ahead." Alex gave her an encouraging smile. That was all Jasmine and Jamal needed to go off.

Jamal gave Alex a concerned look, but he had to take this jackpot. They both walked towards the entrance hand-in-hand in a state of euphoria.

"Hey, Alex…" said Lenni.

"Lenni, you alright?" Alex knew Lenni wasn't. For all his talk, Tuan sure didn't have a problem hurting Lenni tonight.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You don't look so good though."

"I've just been waiting to make my move, but he isn't letting her get out of his sight. Lenni, I was looking forward to this night since…I forgot how long ago it was. Now, what did I build myself up for? For nothing."

"Alex, I think Victor senses something between you and Tina. It was sort of obvious when you guys shook hands and you and Tina kept avoiding eye contact. We all felt the tension."

"I wasn't avoiding eye contact."

"Yeah, you were."

"Well…"

"You're not going to chicken out now, are you?" Lenni was on the verge of yelling at Alex. No, this had to work out.

"No!"

"Then when the next song comes on, you ask to cut in and dance."

"But I…"

"Believe me, it'll be a good one. I'll talk to the DJ to put in a good song. Do it when the DJ makes his announcement."

"Lenni, I…"

It was too late. Lenni already set the plan in motion.

 _Great_ , Alex thought. He then saw Victor try to kiss Tina on the cheek only to have her slightly pull away before she let him have a small peck. That was all Alex needed.

"Ok, boys and girls…sorry, ladies and gentlemen…I'm going to play the next song right about now, so get your partner together because this one is going to be a good one."

Alex bravely strode up to Victor and Tina. Both looking at him. Tina, though unsure what to make of the situation, was happy, almost relieved when Alex came over. She had wanted to talk to Alex this whole night. Wanting to apologize about her behavior, but when they were together it was too awkward. People kept looking at them and she was with Victor who seemed to be showing a possessiveness she didn't know he had until tonight.

"Hey, Victor, do you mind if I ask Tina for one dance?"

"Wait, Alex…I know we're cool and all, but…"

"It's only one dance Victor, I haven't spent any time with my friend all night," said Alex.

The opening strings of "Crimson and Clover" by Thomas James and The Shondells came on.

"Yes, Alex. I'll dance with you," said Tina without waiting for Victor to give Alex the ok. "I'll be back, Victor." She gave Victor a sympathetic but quick –almost dismissive- smile as she and Alex made their way to the dance floor.

There were couples swaying all around them on the dance floor. The lights dimmed and there was a comfortable silence. Every couple felt as if it was them and only them that existed.

_Now I don't hardly know her  
_ _But I think I could love her  
_ _Crimson and clover"_

_Ah_

_Well if she come walkin' over  
_ _Now I been waitin' to show her  
_ _Crimson and clover_

_Over and over_

For the first few verses, Alex and Tina just danced slowly. Alex's hands were placed on Tina's hips while her arms clasped around his neck. Luckily she was wearing heels. Tina knew something was up. Alex never dances and yet he asked Victor to dance with his date.

"Alex…" Tina said breaking off the silence. "I wanted to talk to you for a long time now." Tina paused not sure how to finish her thought. Alex gave her some time to finish but she didn't.

"Tina, I want to tell you how beautiful you are." Alex said finally breaking his silence. Funny. He had no fear whatsoever. This felt like the easiest thing in the world. So natural. Was this all that he had been waiting for? If it was, then he knew what he did was right.

"Alex…" Tina felt her heart beating faster. She always dreamed of the day he'd call her beautiful.

"I really mean it, Tina. Tonight you are just, out-of-this-world, but you're always beautiful."

Tina felt a tear fall down her cheek but she kept it in check.

"I also wanted to say I was sorry Tina, for everything I said. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything…"

"I know, Alex. I'm sorry for hitting you."

"Tina, that didn't even hurt."

"Well, it's the thought that counts, right?" Tina was sure she bruised him, even just a little bit.

Alex and Tina both laughed. They kept on dancing.

The singer continued.

_Yeah_

_My mind's such a sweet thing_

_I wanna do everything_

_What a beautiful feeling_

_Crimson and clover_

_Over and over_

Alex couldn't think of a better feeling. He couldn't think of a place he'd rather than be than where he was at this exact moment.

Tina rested her head on Alex's chest. She felt his heart beating too. The warmth of his body exuded into her. This is what she really wanted. "You look very handsome, Alex."

"Tina…" Alex didn't want Tina to think she'd have to repay the compliment.

"No, I mean it. I noticed you right away, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. The past few weeks where we didn't speak to each other…I couldn't…I hated it."Alex got out of his daze and looked down at her. She looked up at him, looking sorry. "We never not spoken to each other for that long before. And…I have to tell you Alex…I kissed Victor."

Alex didn't say anything. He decided to look back up and noticed Victor staring at them. Victor didn't look angry though. He looked defeated. Alex regretted what he had to do to Victor, but this was bigger than him. He then saw Lenni approach Victor. That helped ease whatever guilt Alex had.

"Tina, that doesn't matter. I've dated other girls too. And kissed them."

They continued to shay on the floor.

"I love you." Alex softly said. He'd been trying to wait for the right time to say it since they started dancing. He waited for Tina's response. "You're the one I've been waiting for."

"Alex…" Tina said, no longer afraid. "I love you, too."

Alex reached down and kissed Tina. In the past, he would have been afraid that he was being too pushy, but she said what he'd always dreamed of - he couldn't help himself. He'd never be too pushy for her ever again.

Tina responded to Alex's kiss by jumping up and kissing him back. After she landed back down to Earth, Alex and Tina just gazed into each other's eyes.

"Tina, I knew it when I first saw you that you were going to be somebody special to me. I hardly knew you but I knew that I could love you."

"Alex, nobody knows that, especially 11 year-olds."

"Maybe, nobody knows that, but for me and you, I knew."

"Maybe Ghostwriter knew, that's why he let me join the group. Unless you had something to do with that."

"You think Ghostwriter, would grant requests like that?"

The idea amused the both of them to no end.

The music sped up quickly and the psychedelic sounds repeated the lines

_Crimson and clover, over and over…_

All of the couples around them separated and sped up their dancing. Except for Tina and Alex who kept their slow pace.

After the song was over, Alex and Tina couldn't fight it any longer. They both reached out and gave each other a long kiss on the dance floor. Their classmates were whispering to each other, pointing and giggling. That was the last thing on Alex and Tina's mind. They were in paradise.

* * *

**September 2005**

Alex and Tina were worn out.

Gaby smiled thinking about the memory. If only other people could have that sort of fairy tale. She wondered if Alex and Tina truly knew how lucky they were to have found each other. "That's such a cute story," Gaby said, breaking the silence. "Good thing Lenni was there to console Victor, huh?" Gaby winked.

"Gaby…" Tina responded. "I admit that I did feel less guilty when Lenni and Victor got together that night."

Alex had enough talk of Victor Torres for one day. "I'm going to take a shower. Tina and I have some plans today."

"We do?" asked Tina.

"Yeah, I thought we'd hang out today, maybe do some shopping for our place."

Tina was charged up and beamed at him. "Ok, well, hurry up. You overslept and wasted precious couple time."

Gaby gagged again.

When Alex left the room, Gaby looked at Tina. "Now, tell me about the time you guys broke up for a year and got back together."

"Shut up, Gaby."

"Or how about the other time you guys broke up after he graduated college and got back together."

"Get out."

Gaby laughed and Tina offered her some more tea.

"Gaby…"

"Yes, Tina?"

"Do you still wonder, what happened to Ghostwriter?"

"Every day. Do you?"

"Some days, I do and I just want to write to him and tell him everything. I miss him. But those days are happening less frequently now…I'm afraid I'm going to forget him."

Gaby felt all the energy get out of her. Deflated, Gaby said, "You're never going to forget him Tina. You are just…moving on. At least you and Alex have each other…I don't have anybody."

"Gaby…" Tina wanted to console her but she knew Gaby wanted to leave well enough alone for now. Tina would not forget this, though, and was determined to get to the bottom of this. Something was wrong and Tina was going to help her "sister" out.

Speaking of Ghostwriter made Tina think of something Jamal had told the team years ago. It wasn't a good memory. It was the time where Jamal had almost jeopardized everything. However, looking back…she was sorry for the way the team had treated Jamal when they heard what he did.

* * *

**Fall 1996**

"Jamal! I know you didn't drag me all the way out here just to talk." Jasmine said. She grabbed hold of Jamal and pulled him closer. "Jamal…I just want to say that you…you mean a lot to me." She kissed him and continued. "I want you to know that I'm there for you…completely." Jasmine looked at Jamal, hoping for a response.

Jamal wanted Jasmine. Wanted her in every part of his life. He knew he loved her and couldn't wait to tell her. However, he felt that he couldn't really be honest with Jasmine. Ghostwriter. That would always be something he couldn't tell her. How right was it for him to expect Jasmine to give him herself completely over if he couldn't do the same. He was going to tell her…he knew he should have consulted the team first, but he knew Jasmine Mitchell and knew it was now or never.

"Jasmine, we have to talk…"

"Jamal…" Jasmine wasn't expecting such dire seriousness to come out of his voice. She knew better than to think he was dumping her. The uncertainty made her uneasy.

"This is going to blow you away, and I don't know if I should even tell you this...it might ruin everything…I mean everything. But I LOVE you…"

"JAMAL!" Jasmine screamed. She couldn't believe she heard that. Her bliss was interrupted, however.

"Jasmine…let me finish. I love you, completely…but I can't really love you completely unless I let you know everything about me…Jasmine…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank my Beta, Matryeshka a.k.a. Eville Penguin, for taking so much joy in cutting and slashing my work and telling exactly what I needed to hear in such wonderful snark. I also need to thank my good friend, Lunar, whose creativity and support helped me through the toughest times.
> 
> I also want to thank my little brothers and sisters for helping me get back to my teenage-self and allowing me to realize that I am not too far from that person. And to my friends who were not only supportive but receptive to my obsession with this project.
> 
> Word.


	14. Chapter 13: It Started with a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day out for Alex and Tina.

_Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love  
_ _Just one kiss, kiss will do  
_ _Kiss, kiss kiss, kiss me love  
_ _Just one kiss, kiss will do_

 _Why death?  
_ _Why life?  
_ _Warm hearts  
_ _Cold darts_

 _Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love  
_ _I'm bleeding inside_

 _It's a long, long story to tell  
_ _And I can only show you my hell_

 _Touch, touch, touch, touch me love  
_ _Just one touch, touch will do  
_ _Touch, touch, touch, touch me love  
_ _Just one touch, touch will do_

 _Why me?  
_ _Why you?  
_ _Broken mirror  
_ _White terror_

 _Touch, touch, touch, touch me love  
_ _I'm shaking inside  
_ _It's that faint, faint sound of the childhood bell  
_ _Ringing in my soul_

 _Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss me love  
_ _Just one kiss, kiss will do_

\- Yoko Ono

**September 2005**

Alex walked Gaby to the door once she was ready to leave while still wet from his recent shower with his t-shirt and sweat shorts clinging onto him. He wondered what Tina and Gaby talked about while he was showering. Knowing _Blabby_ , he worried she may have said too much.

 _Whew!_ Alex thought once he closed the door after her. He loved Gaby to death, but today she was just exasperating.

 _Why did she make us tell us that story?_ Alex thought. Today was time-sensitive and she knew it. Despite Alex saying he was not getting in Victor Torres' way on that particular Homecoming evening, and that it was Victor who was in Alex's way, the truth was that nearly ten years later, Alex still felt a tinge of guilt for how that night transpired and other nights transpired where he and Tina left casualties in their wake.

This bothersome feeling was not what Alex wanted to feel today of all days. He had planned this for way too long and got too many people involved to let that happen.

Alex glanced towards the direction of the kitchen and saw the time. He felt an anxious trepidation flood over him. Then he inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth, a practice Tina had taught him from her Yoga lessons. He felt calmer. Then a sudden giddiness overtook him and he could not help but smile at what was to come.

" _Anh_! What are you thinking about?" Tina asked catching Alex leaning on their kitchen counter staring into space with a huge grin on his face.

Landing back on Earth, Alex came to his senses and answered, "Oh nothing _Em."_ He had forgotten she was right in the kitchen.

Tina gave Alex a look betraying some expression of skepticism on her part before deciding to leave well enough alone. She then told Alex she was going to go shower and get ready.

Despite Alex feeling as though he was in a rush with his baby sister not helping matters on that front, the truth is he wanted some hours to spend with Tina before they went about their day.

" _Em_ , wait," Alex said. Before Tina could answer, Alex strode towards Tina and picked her up. "We never got to truly finish what we started before the party," Alex said softly.

 _That's because you ended up getting wasted last night,_ Tina thought amused by Alex's tonal shift veering from the casual to the seductive. Before Alex could make their way towards his bed, Tina laid a passionate kiss upon his lips. The taste of his tongue was minty fresh thanks to the toothpaste and mouthwash that was still lingering inside his mouth. At this moment, Tina could kiss Alex for the rest of their lives.

Not waiting for an invitation, Alex hurried towards the bed with immature eagerness. Whether they were just pecks, familial greetings, or slow and long and wet, Alex could never get enough of Tina's kisses. _This girl has no idea how wild she makes me_ , he thought. That troubled him as he suspected Tina was still reserved towards him, even after all of this time. It was not the kind of reservation where a man did not know his partner; on the contrary, it was because Alex knew Tina all too well that he felt something was up. It was his fault, as they established last night.

Alex would not be able to solve this particular problem today, but he knew he and Tina were willing to give the rest of their lives to do so.

Right now, all they both wanted to do was kiss…

It all started with a kiss.

That's not true. It started much earlier than that, but that kiss would be the focal point for both Alex and Tina.

* * *

**Late Spring 1993**

The Ghostwriter team hit the jackpot!

They figured out that John Miller of Miller Hauling Company might be the man responsible for illegally dumping barrels of toxic waste into a new garden that the residents had built to beautify the neighborhood and provide free food to the community. Sure Fort Greene was not Gowanus, but it needed all the help it could get at the time before gentrifiers came in causing Spike Lee to raise a fuss.

The Ghostwriter Team learned dry cleaners like the French Garment Dry Cleaners hired Mr. Miller to legally haul the toxic waste (also known as perchloroethylene or PERC), to waste sites. It was becoming clearer that Mr. Miller was not holding up on his end of the bargain.

After speaking to Mr. Miller under the guise of being kids sent to do a photo-op with Mr. Miller to celebrate being named "Citizen of the Year" at the Hurston Middle School, Alex and Tina also learned Mr. Miller had a scheduled appointment with a shredding company that Saturday at noon.

Furthermore, French Garment Dry Cleaner just had their offices broken into and the unusual thing was that the only things stolen were old invoices…invoices involving the hauling of PERC. This was becoming way too easy for the Team.

After Tina and Alex made this discovery, they quickly called a Rally to Alex's room.

At the Rally, Alex and Tina stood side-by-side to inform the Team of their findings.

The team figured out that Mr. Miller was contracted to haul out the same waste that were found in barrels buried under the new community garden that made a good number of people sick and stopped the community from being able to feed the homeless and hungry people of Fort Greene. Why else would he be so impatient to shred those documents if they weren't tying him up with those barrels?

The pieces were fitting together!

"We figure Mr. Miller had the invoices stolen from French Garment Dry Cleaners. The invoices will prove that Miller hauled French Garment's PERC. And the lot numbers on the invoices will show that he dumped it in our garden." Said a twelve-year-old Alex Fernandez in his and Gaby's room in the Bodeda's attached apartment unit. He spoke with a sure confidence as he informed the Ghostwriter team, then-consisting of Tina Nguyen, Jamal Jenkins, Lenni Fraizer, Gaby Fernandez, and Rob Baker at the time.

"And from this note, we know that Miller is going to shred the evidence tomorrow at noon." Tina informed the rest of the Team, with a worried and frustrated cadence to her voice.

"Man, if only there was a way to get a hold of that evidence before Miller destroys it," team leader Jamal responded.

"Why don't we call Lieutenant McQuade? The police can bust into Miller's and slap the cuffs on him before he can do anything." Said Lenni who spoke with the sureness of someone who felt they had their issue figured out. She usually did.

"They can't do that without a search warrant, and they can't get a warrant without evidence," Rob added, informing the Team of the some real world obstacles they were facing to prevent them from simply obtaining the documents before Mr. Miller shredded them. The team never wondered how Rob knew such much about criminal procedure.

"Which brings us right back to where we started," Gaby said full of frustration as she got up from her chair to pace the room. Despite Gaby's early role as the youngest member who needed things explained to or to state the obvious, this helped the team gather their thoughts and not miss any details that they may have passed over. Alex would some times wish Gaby was always there with him on his cases now.

"There might be a way to get something against Miller even if he does shred the invoices," Jamal said trying to figure out a logical way to get what they need with those obstacles in mind.

"How?" Rob asked.

"By catching him in the act!" Jamal said with a swagger indicating that he solved the problem.

Jamal's confidence and sure smile even convinced Rob who answered with a "yeah!" as if he liked the sound of that.

"You're right!" Tina said excitedly. "I have my school video camera checked out for a project this weekend from school. Alex and I can go back to the warehouse tomorrow. We know the place better than any of you. We get it all on tape."

Jamal, Rob, and Gaby celebrated this new brilliant idea.

"Why not?" Alex asks thinking it could not hurt while figuring reasons it may not. He was also excited at the prospect of spending another few hours with Tina alone tomorrow. He only hoped Rob and Lenni did not embarrass him now the way they did the other day when Rob teased Tina and Alex about them going off by themselves to interview Mr. Miller.

The next morning.

Alex and Tina found themselves running away from an angry and screaming Mr. Miller after he recognized them and caught them filming him shredding the aforementioned documents with the shredding company's giant-sized shredder.

Once they lost Mr. Miller, Alex and Tina quickly hid near a truck full of garbage bags and barrels. Their hearts were racing. This is the most danger either of them had ever been in, and Alex had once went undercover as one of the members of the THABTO "gang" to infiltrate them, and botched it - resulting in a very real and scary chase scene.

"Hold it you guys. You better be really careful." They both remembered Lenni telling them before they decided to go ahead with this mission. They swore they heard some ominous music playing along to match Lenni's words of concern and worried expression. They sure wished they heeded Lenni's sage advice now.

They watched as Mr. Miller ran past the truck in hot pursuit of them.

Alex could hear his heart beating a million miles a minute. He also listened as Tina's rate of breathing increased as his had.

"Come on, this way!" Alex said and ran, thinking quickly on his feet and directing Tina, camera-in-hand, to his direction.

Alex quickly climbed the garbage truck they were just using as cover to hide from Miller.

"Hurry up," Alex whispered to Tina as he grabbed her hand helping her onto the truck. "In there," Alex added attempting to direct her to the back of the truck with all the garbage and dirty barrels.

"What!" Tina yelped.

 _Why is she being so loud?_ Alex wondered. "We have no other choice!" Alex said matching the volume of Tina's yelp as he forcibly helped her to enter the back of the truck. "Come on!"

Despite the fact that Tina was not acting like the obedient partner when this frightful situation called for it, Alex could not help but be entertained by her reluctance to enter a dirty garbage truck despite the danger they were in. This was the one of the first indications that Tina would not be an easy partner, and Alex liked that.

Tina quickly entered the garbage truck and hid amongst the trash bags with Alex following.

"It stinks!" Tina screamed as she crouched down to hide, clearly more concerned with her disgust being amongst the unsanitary trash all around them than making sure Mr. Miller did not hear them thus blowing their cover.

"Yeah, well it's better than getting caught," Alex responded as he crouched down near her. _Do I really need to explain that to her?_ Alex thought. _Maybe she's not as scared as I am._

Alex was truly afraid. He had no idea what would happen if Miller caught them. This unknown was frightening beyond belief. Alex turned all around to check to see if Miller was anywhere near them, alert of his surroundings.

"I'm really scared, Alex," Tina said.

Alex could then tell by Tina's voice that she was just as afraid as he was. Then he quickly glanced at her face and saw the very real fear in her eyes. That made something switch inside of him. He suddenly felt an urge to protect Tina, to calm down her fear, to act brave in front of Tina, and show her that he had the situation under control.

"Yeah, so am I." Alex quickly replied telling the truth, but also hoping to put Tina at ease in showing she was not alone in feeling her fear while also being on the look out for Miller.

"Oh no Alex, he's coming back. What if he checks this truck this time? We're going to get caught!" Tina started saying.

Alex felt Tina's panic rising in her. It was rising in him too as he desperately kept a look out for Miller. Alex did not know what he would do if Miller caught them. All he knew was that he would do everything in his power to make sure Tina was safe.

"Yeah well…no matter what happens to us, at least we're together." Alex had no idea what made him say that other than the fact that he meant it. Right now, the only thing he was concerned with was not getting caught by Miller, but to also make Tina feel safe and actually be safe.

Then, Alex and Tina turned towards each other. Alex was hoping to give her a strong serious stare to indicate he meant what he said and to communicate to her that he would protect her no matter what.

Then it happened…

They kissed.

…then they stared at each other in astonishment over what had just happened and what they had just done. That stare felt like an eternity for them. Despite the fact that just a few moments ago Alex and Tina were afraid for their lives, they now felt like they could take anything on, even Miller catching them.

It was a quick peck on the lips. They would have countless kisses in the years to come: many of them much longer, meaningful, lustful, romantic, and affectionate; but that first kiss in the dumpster was truly the best kiss of their lives.

True, the seeds of their relationship were being planted before that kiss: their first meeting where Alex was smitten with Tina at first sight; Tina helping Alex make a campaign movie to help him win the Class President election at Hurston Middle School; Alex figuring out Tina was too afraid to go to the cemetery near South Ferry in lower Manhattan and deciding to stick with her while the rest of the team went elsewhere; Tina and Alex's first one-on-one conversation near the land viewing telescopes in front of the Statue of Liberty where Alex first told Tina that she'd have nothing to worry about because he would be there to protect her (and far from the last time he would say that to her); to Alex unintentionally giving Tina anxiety by calling Lana Barnes' phone and then hanging up when Tina answered while Lana had a scary stalker; to Alex mustering up the courage to ask Tina out to the movies via a movie script he drafted after he took his Papa's advice to figure out something both were interested in and finally figuring out that they both loved movies.

It all started with a kiss. That kiss was the point of no return. That's where "Alex" and "Tina" became "Alex and Tina".

* * *

**The Present**

Alex allowed Tina's moans to provide the soundtrack to their lovemaking. As Alex thrust himself inside of her with a gradually increasing rate of motion, he savored the way Tina licked his chest, and grabbed his head closer to hers so she could taste every inch of him that was within reach. Alex in response bit the side of her neck, which caused her to squeal. Tina was absolutely irresistible right now and all he wanted to do was squeeze her as tightly as possible to somehow fuse their body together into one.

The bed was already plenty moist with their previous climaxes, and Alex's thighs felt the familiar giant wet spot on the middle of the bedspread. Alex let out a growl which caused Tina to moan in an even higher pitch. They were communicating in a language they full of grunts, moans, growls, noises their voices only made when they were having sex. They continued on this way until both had their final climaxes of the late morning.

After they finished, Tina forced Alex to get up because otherwise they would just keep on going once Alex got his third or fourth wind. Tina lost count. In order to make sure Alex didn't play any more games, she aggressively pulled hard on the bed sheet so she could fold it up and put it on the laundry hamper…or at least the hefty bag that was being used as a laundry hamper until they bought a proper hamper together. Tina made a mental note to buy one today.

As Tina watched Alex stretch and pulled up his boxer shorts, she was nearly seduced to just push him back onto the sheet-less mattress and continue. No, they had all week to do this. They have to pace themselves. Tina hurriedly left that trap called a bedroom and entered the living room and took a look around at her new space.

Tina was grateful that despite how drunk everyone was last night, every member of the Ghostwriter team plus some extra guests pitched in to help clean up the party by the time they left, which was around 4 or 5am. Tina was not sure. Despite not catching enough sleep for the past few days and having an incredibly busy day yesterday, Tina felt energized. This was the first day of her and Alex's vacation and she was ready to enjoy it. She excitedly hopped into the shower.

Once Tina was in the shower, Alex decided to get dressed and texted the rest of the team. He wanted nothing more than to dress in his best clothes, but he decided instead to go with something casual but stylish. He put together a look he felt he looked _smart_ in. He wore his casual light grey blazer with a fitted crew-neck charcoal t-shirt with white chinos that Tina's parents tailored for him.

Next, Alex wanted to make his hair just right. He went straight to the bathroom where Tina was showering to grab the hair clay from medicine cabinet and started applying it to his hair. It sure was steamy in this bathroom right now. _Maybe I should do my hair in the bedroom_ , Alex thought.

Looking upon his reflection as he was carefully sculpting his hair, Alex wondered if he should add that navy cardigan he had hanging from the closet and a burgundy pocket square to add some color. Alex became more self-conscious over the fading bruise upon his cheek. Why did he have to have a fistfight with Francola this week of all weeks? Before Alex could obsess more about his appearance for today, he heard the shower curtain open slightly.

" _Anh,_ " Tina said from the shower. Alex saw Tina's head pop out of the shower curtain from the reflection of the mirror. "Where are we going?" Tina asked. Then her eyes went wide, "You're dressed nicely."

"Oh, I figured we could just take a walk around the neighborhood and maybe go to Fort Greene to visit the Bodega and your parents for a bit." Alex said trying hard not to betray a sly smile.

Tina looked at Alex quizzically. "I thought you said we had plans today."

"Yeah, we could do some shopping as well. I figured we can take it slow. We are on our own schedule right now."

"Yeah but you're all dressed up…"

"No, I'm not," Alex interrupted a bit too quickly while raising his voice losing a small tidbit of his temper. _Can't she just get ready now?_

Tina narrowed her eyes slightly and gave Alex a once over.

Feeling the pressure of her gaze, the seasoned detective responded, "I said that to get Gaby out of here. I just wanted to enjoy the first free vacation day with you and see where it takes us," Alex explained.

"Ok Detective," Tina responded closing the shower curtain again.

 _She's getting suspicious!_ Alex thought.

Alex decided to finish his hair in the bedroom to avoid any more questions Tina conjured up. The shower had a way of clearing one's mind to focus. Knowing that seeing him dressed the way he was and grooming himself the way he was would make Tina spend more time in the bathroom to put on her make up and do her hair, Alex went to the wall safe and inputted the combination code.

He reached inside and grabbed the black ring box. Alex opened it and took another look at the ring. He smiled. The plan was set in motion. Alex was going to ask Tina to marry him. Surprisingly, they had not discussed it yet. Since they had gotten back together about two years ago, they just spent most of the time enjoying being back together and juggling their increasingly time-consuming careers with their relationship, not leaving much time for anything else. However, this engagement had been on Alex's mind since the beginning.

* * *

Two years ago, Alex started saving for an engagement ring for Tina. When Alex made detective fairly quickly, he decided to increase the budget he had set for himself for this ring. Alex tried not to think about that higher-than-expected budget too much because that figure simply warped his mind. He was sure that figure made up a huge proportion of many working people's yearly salary. He then imagined himself back at the Bodega ten years ago and seeing his parents' faces if he told them how much money he was planning to spend on this engagement ring.

With that frugal upbringing in mind, Alex originally wanted to get the best bang for his buck and possibly spend much less than what he had originally budgeted. He received a tip from his partner Yvette that nobody cared about brand names and that it should be about the size of the diamond as it is the only thing that mattered. She said the online vendors would offer Alex "more bang for his buck" as if she read his mind.

Alex had this confirmed by some anonymous online posters from some message board he found via his preferred search engine one day who smugly stated to only look for the biggest diamond he could find and not worry about the brand name.

Inspired, Alex started searching the inventories of online vendors like Blue Nile, Brian Gavin, or James Allen to find the perfect ring for Tina. Then he realized he had no idea what he was looking for. Therefore, he decided to conduct some research on how to smartly shop for a diamond ring. However, after falling down a rabbit hole of diamond research and getting lost in the endless sea of low-quality pictures* of the online retailer's inventory, he simply felt overwhelmed even after speaking to an online representative from Blue Nile.

Alex's on-and-off online detective work lasted for more than a year. He felt as if he had some time to spare since he was not going to ask Tina until she had graduated college and both of them were more settled in their careers. However, he also gave himself a deadline of two years from her graduation date to ask; whichever came first.

With the deadline approaching, Alex decided he needed some real help with the diamond shopping. Just two months ago, feeling secure in his job and having signed the lease of his new apartment, Alex decided to bite the bullet and check out Tiffany & Co. on 5th Avenue with Lenni and Gaby.

Alex was apprehensive about inviting Lenni given her history with her own engagement to a now deceased fiancé, but Lenni was over-the-moon and said, "finally!" Lenni's ecstatic reaction to the news was what he expected from Gaby, their biggest cheerleader since forever. However, Gaby's first reaction was "Tina is only 23, what is she a child bride?" which Alex answered with an eye roll. Alex sensed Gaby was not entirely joking, but quickly changed her expression to one of full support.

He wanted to speak to someone face-to-face and see the actual rings in person. They had intended to just look around to compare the prices and designs to what he had found online until Alex fell in love with the customer service and the environment at the flagship store. He also thought that there were a bunch of rings that were within his budget even if they those same diamonds may have been cheaper online. Much cheaper.

Then he saw it. The ring he was looking for. What stared at him was a platinum Pave Tiffany Setting Engagement Ring with a Pave Diamond Band. The clerk told Alex that this particular ring was a great choice for its price since it was over one carat, had a F-grade color (from D to I with D being most colorless), and a grade of VVS2 on the Diamond Clarity Scale, which Alex knew was third best on a scale of ten thanks to all the research he did. He was slightly higher than his budget. But he seriously wanted that ring around Tina's fingers.

"Alex, that ring is beautiful!" Gaby said while eyeing it carefully.

"Yeah, I mean I know Tina is pretty active since she's always holding a camera, but the way it's cut, it's totally her, even with the diamond bands around," Lenni added.

"And we know Tina won't be wearing her engagement ring while filming no matter what ring you buy her," Gaby added.

Alex knew Tina would not wear this ring on most days because that simply was not who she was, but he also knew that she would love a ring like this on those days where Tina would wear her ring.

The sales clerk kindly allowed the trio to examine the ring while explaining how the color and clarity affected the ring. Then he told them the price.

Lenni and Gaby nearly choked despite neither of them having any food or drink. Sensing Alex was about to go ahead and "say _si_ to the D[iamond]", Gaby blurted out, "you gotta be kidding, Alex! You can't spend that much on a ring for Tina!"

"Gaby!" Lenni exclaimed. She apologetically looked at the clerk and asked him to give them a moment. Once the salesman was out of the way, Lenni began to whisper how much she agreed with Gaby.

"If Tina ever found out how much you spent on this ring, she would kill you!" Lenni exclaimed.

"What are you talking about? Who would get mad at their boyfriend buying their girlfriend an expensive diamond ring? I mean look at it!" Alex said turning to go back to the counter to show them the ring. As far as he was concerned, this ring was perfect for Tina. "And it's _Tiffany's!"_ Alex said with emphasis as if his point was obvious.

Looking at their confused faces, Alex continued, "You know, like _Breakfast at Tiffany's?_ One of Tina's favorite movies?"

"You mean the one with that cringey racist caricature of a Japanese man played by Mickey Rooney?" Gaby asked.

"Hey, she loves Audrey Hepburn and that song 'Moon River'," Alex said with full authority. If there was one thing he knew, it was Tina's favorite films. "Anyway, like I said," Alex said exasperated, "no girl would get mad if their boyfriend spent that much money on her."

"Maybe you shouldn't marry Tina since you don't seem to know her," Gaby said. After seeing Alex's face showing equal amounts of puzzlement and anger, Gaby continued, "Tina would rather you save that money for your future or even for yourself. She would feel nothing but guilty for you spending over 14K for a ring. Who do you think we all are? We're just kids from Brooklyn…the real Brooklyn, not this new hipster, out-of-state transplant Brooklyn."

"Why shouldn't Tina have nice things?" Alex demanded to know. "She deserves it and I can afford it! I've been saving up and I make enough to buy it outright."

"Boy, make a little bit of money and now you think you're Arab money," Gaby said thinking about all of her customers at Tyre.

Sensing a blow-up between the Fernandez siblings, Lenni chimed in. "Alex, just because you can afford it doesn't mean you should spend it. Think about it. What you're asking Tina to do isn't just an invite to a wedding and to give her something to show off, it's about making a future together. Right now, you're just excited and I get that, but you should really think about it before splurging. After you really think about it and want to buy it, then we'll come back and fully support you." Lenni said. Lenni then shot a death glare at Gaby for her to not respond to the "come back and we'll fully support you" part. Gaby got the hint and kept her mouth shut.

Alex then apologized to the clerk and said he would have to think about it. He spent the rest of the night in the Bodega. Tina was busy filming some of her transgender subjects at work on the streets. He had wanted to come to provide some protection, but she insisted he stay back since him being a cop may scare off many of her subjects and their friends. She also said Mickey and Koji were with her and that her subjects feel protective over her. Alex wanted to respond that they already feel threatened, so how could they provide her with any? But he knew Tina was adamant.

In the background, Alex could hear his parents helping customers. The Bodega had becoming increasingly busy over the past few years as Fort Greene developed, and his parents were finally reaping the rewards of keeping the Bodega alive all of these years.

He checked his text messages and saw a bunch from Gaby apologizing for how she had acted at Tiffany's. Feeling bad for uncharacteristically giving Gaby the silent treatment after they had left Tiffany's, Alex responded telling Gaby that she did the right thing. In the excitement of everything, he would have bought that ring right then and there without thinking about it first.

Alex chuckled at the thought of Gaby having to calm him down. Usually, it was the other way around. Alex suddenly felt compelled to leave his room and check out the old room that he and Gaby had shared for so many years. It was just as big. Most of Gaby's old stuff was there despite the fact that she hadn't lived in the Bodega for about four years now. He suspected that his parents thought Gaby would be moving back.

His parents spoke about resizing the room to make it more appropriate for one person so they could expand the Bodega and add a grill and a deli to serve hot food for the increasing professional class moving into the neighborhood. Alex encouraged his parents to do so, but the idea made him feel sentimental about all of the memories he had in this room. So many Ghostwriter team rallies were held here. He and Gaby spent their childhood together in this room. It was some times a pain, but now, Alex was grateful he had to share a room with his baby sister for all those years. He truly believed it was what made them as close as they were now. He knew Tina felt the same way about Linda.

Alex then looked around and remembered that it was in this very room where he first met Tina.

* * *

**October 1992**

"Ghostwriter, what a trip!"

Alex could not believe it.

_What a crazy world! This could not be real, right?_

This illuminating orb with a cool blinking design that he would later say looked like a computer mouse cursor spoke to him! He took letters and rearranged them into messages that only he, Lenni, and Jamal could see. Alex mentally pinched himself a few times to make sure this was not just some strange dream.

Alex was simply stoked. This day could not get any better. He had already been excited that Jamal Jenkins sought him out to help him solve the mystery of the stolen backpacks. Jamal really was one of the most admired dudes in the school because everyone knew he was one of the smartest kids there. Jamal just exuded this sort of smart guy coolness that people gravitated towards.

Not only that, but his upstairs neighbor Lenni Frazier had been the one to recommend Alex to Jamal when he was seeking assistance in helping solve this mystery. Lenni was such a cool girl! Alex talked to a lot of girls both in his classes and through letters via his pen pals, but he was sure Lenni was one of the coolest he had ever met. The fact that she singled him out as someone to help Jamal solve this mystery meant he also must have made some sort of great impression on her.

Lenni was always writing these songs in her notebooks and dressed with such style. It must have come from being a daughter of such a cool dad. Max Frazier had such a cool job. Max played in a real life band. His Papa always complained about the "noise" coming from Max and his band mates, but Alex always loved to hear the busy music's muffled sound coming through the Bodega's ceilings. Why couldn't his Papa just understand that this music was good stuff? At least his Mama liked it, though she never said so. Alex just knew she did. He at times envied how easy and confident Max was compared to his Papa.

His father was so strict and had such a short, curt way to speaking, not like Max Frazier. Max always seemed to know what to say and how to say it. Alex imagined that Max never lost his temper when dealing with native English-speakers the way his father had. Alex loved and admired his Papa, but he admitted that he was at times embarrassed at how heavy his accent was and how hard it was for him to communicate, which resulted in him losing his temper easily.

Alex had grown up at times having to translate or to play mediator between his Papa and other people he had business dealings with when his Mama was not around. Sometimes when rude customers would come and make fun of his dad's accent or when Alex came along to help his dad handle some business when his Mama was not around, Alex had to advocate for him. Alex had envied Lenni for not having to do that.

Lenni also seemed like she was confident in herself, like actually confident. Alex was confident too, but he felt like a fraud at times. Sure he liked to boast and everyone knew he was running for Class President next year, but his confidence was a façade. He always had to rev himself up to play the cool, fun Alex people at school thought he was. Alex always felt like he had to play up his toughness to not show all the jerks out there how vulnerable he actually was. Especially that Calvin Ferguson who always knew what to say to make him and his whole family feel like crap with his superior grades in English. He wanted to know what made both Lenni and Jamal so sure of themselves.

Because of all of this, Alex always felt Lenni was someone he should be a closer friend with even though he did not like her in _that_ way. She was simply an awesome person who he had a strong feeling of needing to know better. He felt the same towards Jamal. That's why Alex was secretly ecstatic when Jamal sought him out at the recommendation with Lenni.

Alex was happy to know Jamal even knew his name. However, he did not want to make that too obvious. Luckily, with years of practice, he learned early on how to hide his true feelings through boasting and swagger. Plus it helped that when Jamal sought him out, Alex's attention was focused on the level of the X-Men arcade game he had been playing. He just made the top ten! He hoped Jamal did not judge his character of choice. Alex always picked "Storm" because for some reason that he could not explain, he had a thing for strong female characters. What could he say? He found himself drawn to girls, especially tough ones with personalities.

Hence all of his pen pals were girls. Alex did not want to admit that he liked the attention he received from girls. He did not know why but it filled him up with a sense of warmth, energy, and accomplishment – not unlike making the top ten in his favorite video game. He knew early on that he liked the attention of the opposite sex and basked in it. He himself liked giving them attention as well.

Alex did not think Jamal judged him because they quickly bonded over their favorite fictional superhero characters.

Man, that Jamal was sure easy to talk to. Almost like one of his pen pals.

Before they got to cracking a secret coded message that Jamal needed help with, they simply hung out while enjoying snacks Alex's Mama prepared. Alex hoped that Jamal would like to be friends with him after they solved this case. There was no question in Alex's mind that they would solve this case. After all, when it came to solving puzzles and mysteries, he was "great at it". It's not bragging if he was simply telling the truth, Alex told himself.

As the afternoon wore on, Alex felt strongly that he could make his first close friend in Jamal. He did not know what made Jamal different, but it was something in both of their energies that made it seem like they should be friends. Not only was he a smart dude and liked mysteries too, he was simply fun to hang out with.

Alex did not understand why he did not have close guy friends even though he a lot of male buddies to talk to in school. For some reason, he just never made a close connection with any of them. In fact, he did not make close connections with anyone other than Gaby, who didn't count because she was his sister.

Speaking of his baby sister, a reason Alex was ecstatic that Jamal had sought his help was personal. Because of his impatience with Gaby while walking her to school, some thieves stole her backpack. What hurt him was that it happened when he was in proximity to the scene of the crime. Why did he lose his temper at his sister and left her alone like that? That is not what a big brother should do! The memory made Alex so angry he wanted to punch the thieves' lights out. Worse, the fact that this happened "under his watch" dug a deep pit inside of his heart. He was supposed to be watching out for his baby sister and protect her. Instead, he let himself lose his temper at her and made her a victim of a crime. On top of Alex's own self-blame was the blame his Papa gave him for leaving Gaby alone and vulnerable like that. That was nearly as bad as the guilt Alex had already given himself.

 _Never again!_ Alex vowed. He did not care if he and Gaby grew up to be past a hundred-years-old, he would never let Gaby be put in that position ever again. Cracking this case would be a way for Alex to redeem himself and get revenge on the people who hurt Gaby and the other young kids targeted. Why would older kids target vulnerable younger ones? And they thought they could get away with it? Not if he, Lenni, and Jamal had anything to do with it! The injustice of it all incensed him deeply.

But Ghostwriter…meeting him was like winning the lottery after buying the pot at a poker game. Ghostwriter even knew he loved mysteries! That was not to say Alex was particularly thrilled when he first met Ghostwriter. He hounded Jamal and basically gave him one of the first interrogations of Alex's life. He thought there had to be something suspect about all of this and tried to come up with some explanations for Ghostwriter's existence and motivations that made sense to him at the time, though some in retrospect may have been ridiculous.

Once Alex warmed up to the idea, Ghostwriter showing himself to Alex made it clear that he had been "chosen". This gave Alex a sense of validation of his feelings that he was meant for grand things. Alex suspected he was meant to do something big or have some sort of huge impact some how. He did not know what that grand or big thing was, but he was on the watch for it.

Now that Ghostwriter showed up in the middle of Alex and Jamal solving a mystery, the picture was becoming clearer. Alex was great at solving mysteries. Ghostwriter even singled that out in him. That had to mean something. Alex was hungry to prove his worth, and Ghostwriter may have helped Alex discover how he could do it.

On the very next day, Jamal and Alex decided to work on cracking the code again after school. They were both so excited about working on the case that it was all they both could think about all day in school.

As Alex and Jamal made their way back to the Bodega, Alex and Jamal were hyped up to figure out the messages as a surge of inspiration hit them hard.

"Man, I cannot wait to work on this code!" Alex exclaimed.

"I know, man. I wonder what it says," Jamal responded.

Alex and Jamal then came up with all sorts of messages over what they could be, getting wackier with every imagined message.

"Ok, I think it's time to get serious," Alex finally said after he and Jamal finished from nearly dying from laughter. Alex felt he had to put on his "serious" mask to mentally prepare himself to do some serious detective work.

Detective. That title…Alex just then realized what he wanted more than anything was to be called "Detective". He made a mental note to go to the library after they solved this case to see if there were any books or other material on becoming a detective. This only made Alex even more focused and serious. Nothing was going to distract him from solving this case now! Once he put his foot down on the ground, not even Hurricane Hazel could knock him from his position.

As Alex and Jamal made their way back to his and Gaby's room, Alex said to Jamal, "I figure if I looked through my code books one more time maybe we…"

Then Alex had a good look at this _incredibly_ pretty girl standing in front of him with the cutest smile he had ever laid his eyes on.

_Whoa! Who is that girl?...Wow!...She's so….Wow!_

"Uh…oh hi…" Alex said compulsively. He just felt the need to say something to her. He did not even remember saying that after he did it. Alex was usually quick with the ladies, but something about this girl made him freeze in his tracks. He was simply awestruck by her.

As Gaby was introducing Tina Nguyen to Alex and Jamal, Alex was not thinking about anything. Instead, warm tingly sensations were invading his body - preventing Alex from focusing much on anything other than the view he was enjoying. All he could do was smile admirably at Tina. He suddenly felt as though could stare at this girl for the rest of his life. There was simply something about the way she looked, the expressions she was making, the way she smiled, the way her hair was so long and had that cute braid, even the way she dressed…so professional and yet somehow looking stylish on her that caught Alex. By a simple glance, Alex felt he figured everything about Tina and loved what he saw. He felt as if she had come down from the heavens just for him.

 _Why isn't he greeting this girl after Gaby introduced her to us? Wait, why isn't he talking at all? Why does he have that dumb smile on his face?_ Jamal wondered. He had only gotten to know Alex for a day and a half now but he already felt he got a great sense of who Alex was as a person. Talking was one of the distinctive features of Alex Fernandez. Jamal was surprised to see Alex look so…well…dumbstruck. With Alex's cocky attitude, Jamal did not think he'd see that from Alex this early in their friendship.

Meanwhile, it was taking everything in Gaby's power for her to not double over in laughter at what she was witnessing. She could see it in her big brother's eyes and that dumb smile he had on now…he liked her! _This is so funny! I can't wait to make fun of him for this! Wait…this is perfect! I want Tina to be my best friend and to be in her movies and news programs. Tina is so cool! I mean she's a big time reporter! Maybe if she likes Alex… I can make this work!_

Alex's mind, meanwhile, was thinking a million thoughts a minute. _Whoa! Look at the way she smiled and moved her head down and shuffled a bit after Jamal said 'hi' to her! How can anyone be that pretty and cute?! And she's holding that giant camera. Gaby said she was a big time news reporter, so that makes sense. She must be super smart and serious at investigating things…like me! I wonder if she makes movies too. Imagine her carrying that camera around and just shooting all kinds of things. I wonder what else she likes…what's she's interested in…how do I find that out? Gaby seems to know a lot about her…but I don't want her involved…she'll just laugh and blab about it to everyone._

After nearly dying of embarrassment by proxy, Jamal decided to slap Alex on the chest to bring him back to his senses. _Could this girl be making him go mute?_ Jamal wondered thinking how ridiculous it was to get all that bent out of shape over a girl of all things. A girl totally changed Alex's personality! _I'm not going to let any girl do that to me!_ Jamal vowed.

"Oh…" Alex said with a goofy laugh, "hi!" Alex repeated with an even bigger grin.

 _Smooth!_ Jamal thought sarcastically after observing that greeting.

Alex would have gone back to dreamland if Tina hadn't started talking about the case. _The case!_ Alex thought.

As Tina recollected that there were fourteen victims in the backpack theft case: eight girls and six boys, Alex quickly made a mental note to remember those figures. This was crucial information.

Tina then described that the perpetrators of the thefts wore double-sided masks. Jamal informed Alex that he was sure that was what he saw in the park that night.

Alex instinctively went into detective mode, and went towards his binder to jot down the new information in their newly made casebook. This was much too important to not write down now for his new friend Ghostwriter to see. Later on, they could ask Ghostwriter to find anything he can with this new information.

"What are you doing?" Gaby asked accusingly. _What is Alex doing? Why is he writing this stuff down? What is he up to? Is he trying to steal Tina's story? That's not fair, she's the one who's been working hard to gather all of this information together and is trying to help all us elementary school kids get the creeps who have been stealing our backpacks and money!_

Alex turned towards his sister. He was annoyed. Why did she care what he was doing? "What does it look like I'm doing?" Alex responded clearly aggravated. _Gaby can be so annoying for no reason!_

"This is Tina's story! Not yours!" Gaby responded back.

Both Fernandez siblings were now too hot-headed to react calmly. Anger and annoyance was rising inside the both of them. They stopped being aware that third parties were in the room observing them. Unconsciously, they had already accepted Jamal and Tina as one of the family as they could show them this more intimate and familial side of their relationship.

"Oh that's ok," Tina said with an expression indicating she was clearly worried about a fight starting between the brother and sister pair. If Tina only knew that was just the beginning of her refereeing to two Fernandez siblings.

Alex, influenced by many detective protagonists in the many detective novels he read by that point in his life, automatically adopted a cocksure demeanor and an exaggerated accent to calm the situation down and explain things to Tina in case she got the wrong idea.

"Listen…" Alex started with a big smile and tone of voice meant to calm Tina down in case she felt similarly to Gaby. He really did not want Tina to get the wrong idea. "This stolen backpack stuff's a mystery; a case! And a good detective always writes stuff down like suspects and evidence."

Suddenly Alex felt a swelling of pride. He wanted nothing more than to be seen as a legitimate detective who garnered respect. He hoped Tina started seeing him as one. It was of the utmost importance that she did.

"Who says you're a good detective?" Gaby teased. _Since when is Alex a detective?_ Gaby wondered while giving Alex a mocking face.

Alex never hit Gaby before in his life but boy did she work hard to ask for a clobbering right about now. Alex lost his temper to Gaby multiple times a day but he had never been as angry with her as he was right now. She was mocking him right in front of Tina! Just when he thought she would be impressed with him, now she was going to think he was the biggest fool in the world.

"Hey cool! A casebook!" Tina said seemingly impressed and not paying any heed to what Gaby had just said.

 _A casebook?_ Alex wondered. Then he realized she was talking about the binder he was holding that he was writing stuff about the case in. Suddenly, a surge of happiness overflowed from Alex. "Yeah…a casebook! I'll show you how to make one some time!" Alex exclaimed.

"Ok!" Tina said happily while grabbing her camera and the rest of her things to leave.

 _She gets it! She understands why I had to write the stolen backpack info into a book! And she seems impressed with it…maybe she's impressed with me too! I can't wait to show her how to make a casebook! Maybe Gaby won't be around and we can spend that time alone together…_ Alex thought even though there was not much a twelve-year-old boy was imagining doing with a girl alone.

"Well, I gotta go, thanks again Gaby," Tina said towards her. Then Tina faced Alex and said "Good luck, detective!" with that smile Alex had already fallen in love with.

Tina could not have said anything better to Alex than what she had just said. His heart was beating a million beats per minute. _She called me detective!_

Suddenly, Alex's body was no longer in his control as he followed Tina to his door and said, "Thanks…hey I'll see you later, alright?" Alex then watched Tina leave. _Man, she's cute from behind too!_ Alex thought as he admired her hair and body from behind before happily closing the door.

 _Oh man, what a dork!_ Jamal thought completely entertained by what he had just witnessed.

Alex was on cloud nine. He was about to burst with all these crazy feelings rising inside of him. Tina made Alex feel as though he had been in the dark for all of his life and then all of a sudden he could suddenly see the trees, the meadow, the lake, the sun, and the sky for the first time even though in Fort Green, lakes and meadows were not easy to come by unless you were in one of the bigger parks. He never felt this combination of euphoria, excitement, anticipation, and hope inside of him before. He felt it in his heart. He could not help but bang on the pin board that contained pictures and postcards from his pen pals attached to the door he had just closed and was now staring into. This banging provided a small outlet for him to release this new built up cornucopia of feelings building up inside of him.

Suddenly, Alex heard some laughter behind him. It was Gaby!

Gaby simply could not hold it in any longer. She was relieved when Tina had left so she could let it out. Seeing her big brother be all gaga like that was too much for her. It was the best thing she had witnessed in a very long time.

Alex's feelings of pure happiness was replaced by anger and frustration. He was right, Gaby did laugh at him. He thought she was asking for it minutes ago, but she was really asking for it now. Alex instinctively went into self-protection mode and unconvincingly told Gaby he had no idea what she meant when she said "he likes her." As Gaby continued to laugh and mock him, Alex desperately made an empty threat showing Gaby his balled up fist, to which she responded by continuing to laugh as she knew Alex would never hit her.

Then he heard Jamal laugh. Alex turned feeling betrayed. How could Jamal laugh at him? Weren't they boys? He thought Jamal would understand. Didn't he like girls too? They were supposed to be new best friends with Lenni. _Would Lenni laugh as well?_

Alex imagined what a hardened detective would do to try to get someone to stop laughing at him. Alex then strode towards Jamal hoping to give him an intimidating stare to get Jamal to quit it. Jamal just continued laughing. Now Alex felt deficient as a "detective". Alex made a mental note to work on in intimidation stares. A good detective needed a good stare to get people to fess up.

Alex quickly changed the subject and convinced Jamal to go back to the case. He put the image of Tina in his back pocket and decided to not be open about this to anyone, not even his sister or his new best friends.

 _There was always Ghostwriter though_ …Alex thought. _Ghostwriter seems honest. He would not cheat for us when we "joked" about it. Maybe I can tell him and he will understand and keep it to himself. It'd be like writing to a pen pal. It was_ _always_ _safe to tell them things you don't want people who know you in person to know about._

Later that night, despite having a case to solve, the only thing Alex thought about as he lied in bed was Tina. He took an extra pillow and squeezed it tight. Many years later, and well into adulthood, Alex would get into the habit of holding onto an extra pillow when Tina was not lying down right next to him in bed.

* * *

**Two Months Ago**

"Alejandro, _hijo_ , what are you thinking about?"

Alex turned and faced his Papa who was giving him an amused smile.

"Oh nothing, it's just…Papa, I have something to ask you," Alex said.

"What is it, _hijo_?" Eduardo said pensively.

"It's about Tina…" Alex said hesitantly.

"I think I know what's going on," Eduardo answered.

"You do?" Alex asked.

"Yes," Eduardo said laughing, "Your Mama and I have been discussing this day for a long time."

"Oh yeah, I guess two years is a long time," Alex said bashfully.

"Oh no, not two years, longer than that," Eduardo answered.

"What? Really? Since when?" Alex asked angrily, for reasons he did not understand.

Eduardo burst out laughing. "Oh _hijo_ , it's ok. It's just parents and their wishful thinking. You'll understand soon enough."

 _I'll understand?_ Alex wondered. He just then realized he and Tina never discussed having kids yet. He was only 25, what is he? A homeschooled boy living in a commune? Then Alex wondered if he and Tina should discuss these things before he asked her to marry him or even bought a ring. Alex honestly did not know how he himself felt about it, so what could he tell Tina? All he knew was that he wanted to marry Tina.

Eduardo sensed the trepidation on Alex's face. _Aye!_ He thought to himself. He and Estella and the Nguyens had been waiting for this day for forever. He did not want to ruin it with that one little comment.

"I mean, if you decide to have children," Eduardo said while thinking, _They better have children!_

Alex took some breaths and then said, "Well, since you know what all of this is about, I have a question about the ring. How did you decide to buy Mama's ring?"

"Oh, I just bought her something simple since you know your Mama, so serious and not flashy at all."

"Excuse me, Eduardo, who says I'm not fancy?" Estella asked walking into the bedroom.

"Aye! Who is watching the store?" Eduardo asked. "And I said 'flashy' not 'fancy'!"

"Any customers can wait a minute," Estella said. "I couldn't help but notice you two in here talking like old times and I wanted to see what was going on." Estella then gave both of her men a warm smile.

Alex sighed. He might as well get it over with. He told them he planned to ask Tina to marry him and then what had happened at Tiffany's. What resulted was Estella screaming excitedly with Eduardo smiling in the background and then the both of them reading Alex the riot act for even considering paying over $14,000 for an engagement ring of all things.

Observing the looks on both of his parents' faces, it seemed as though it finally dawned on them how much money he made as a detective. No, Alex was not rich, but he would not be hurting for money the way their entire immediate family had been all of their lives.

Getting over the shock, Estella and Eduardo made a phone call and got Alex an appointment with a friend of his Tio Jaime who owned a small wholesale store on the fourth floor off of 47th Street in Manhattan aka the Diamond District. They described the cut, clarity, and shape Alex had seen at Tiffany's and was told he could get it for about a quarter of that price and he knew someone who could make a custom-made platinum band in an identical design for even cheaper.

Once Estella and Eduardo got off the phone, they looked straight at Alex and asked, "Did you inform Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen of any of this yet?"

Another thing Alex forgot to do. He made sure to do it as soon as the ring was ready and when he was exactly sure he was going to ask. It turned out, Alex did not inform them until just a few days prior, after he had already whisked her away to his apartment that Monday when he was bruised and bloodied from fighting Francola.

* * *

**The Present**

Alex and Tina finally exited their apartment. Although Alex dressed smartly, he had rushed Tina so much so that she hurriedly chose a strappy white floral-patterned maxi dress with sandals and her hair semi-done up in a low bun while parting her hair in the front giving an illusion that it was an intentionally Boho messy do when Tina was just working as fast as she could with Alex rushing her out. She was lucky to grab ahold of her camera before they left the apartment.

Alex suggested they walk about Prospect Heights and get more familiar with the neighborhood. They greeted and made small chit-chat with various store front owners of local businesses and He was surprised that Maya and Miguel of the local gift shop already knew Tina when they stopped by to greet them. Tina eager to capture the energy of the neighborhood took some candid shots with her camera.

After taking a nice stroll around the northernmost tip of Prospect Park, Tina and Alex walked under the Soldiers' and Sailors Arch at Grand Army Plaza. Tina took her camera out to take a few shots because of course she would. Alex admitted that the arch was truly a grand sight to see with the huge thick bricks and marble of the arch holding up the crowning structure of what looked like angels with trumpets on horseback. Inside the arch are carvings or moldings of Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. grant on horseback.

Tina suggested they just stand by the arch and enjoy the moment for a bit, but what she really wanted to do was capture some shots from different angles and perspectives. The cars zooming by in the roundabout surrounding the arch forced Tina's hair in front to flow freely. Alex was tempted to ask her right then and there, but that was not the plan. This sight with all of the soldiers reminded Alex of the Vietnam War veteran, Tommy "Double-T" Truborn or Thomas Norburt.

* * *

**Late Spring 1993***

The team was looking for "Double T". Double T was a homeless poet who lived and begged around Fort Greene who Rob had befriended even though Rob did not want the team to help him find his friend as he felt they would not care. In an act falling back into his distrust of others and reluctance to inviting anybody in, Rob told the team he would find Double T on his own.

This made the rest of the team feel as if they had been dumped. After all this time, Rob was still feeling as if he was not a true part of the team. Alex wondered why Rob would think that the team would not want to help him. He was their friend after all. Whatever the reason, Alex thought it was best to respect Rob's wishes. After all, Alex would feel the same way. The last thing he wanted was having people around him when they were not wanted. It was probably years of living with nosy Gaby in a confined space that conditioned Alex that way.

However, Lenni disagreed. The team debated whether the team should help Rob despite his request for them to not get involved. After a discussion and a vote resulted in a tie, Jamal decided to ask Ghostwriter's opinion. He told them, "Friends must help." The team then decided to go ahead and help Rob find his friend anyway as they considered him a friend worth helping. Alex realized, Ghostwriter and Lenni were right. Some times, being a friend meant being there for someone even when they don't want you to be because you know it's what they need.

The team focused on a poem Double T left behind titled "To the Light" that mentioned "the tunnel's end". To help the team find Double T, Ghostwriter wrote the words that were closest to a discarded letter he found that Double T drafted to his daughter, Lisa. The words were "Turn to clear vision. Quarters only.", "Ellis Island", "Statue of Liberty", "Staten Island", and "New Jersey". The team figured out that Double T must have been at South Ferry by the viewing telescopes since the telescopes contained the instructions that Ghostwriter wrote, South Ferry being the location where one could see all four locations Ghostwriter named, and the South Ferry subway stop was the final stop of that particular subway line aka "the tunnel's end".

The team decided to go to South Ferry that day.

After finding Double T's letter indicating they were correct in their deduction of where he was, the team decided to split up to look for Double T in the area. They deduced that he had to have gone to a place where one could "light a flame near sacred names" as written in Double T's poem. Tina and Alex felt strongly that Double T could be referring to a church or a cemetery.

"Cemeteries are creepy, I'll go to the church." Tina said clearly looking uncomfortable at the prospect of going to a cemetery.

Alex quickly responded, "I'll go with Tina!" He could not help but have a wide smile on his face.

 _Finally, a chance to be alone with Tina!_ Alex thought. He then sent some _vibes_ to Lenni, Jamal, and Gaby to not join them. With nearly one school year and four mysteries under their belt, Alex still never got his chance to be alone with Tina. The closest times it happened were when Tina filmed a campaign video for Alex to fight off a smear campaign against him where Calvin Ferguson used some secret personal information of Alex to disparage him when he ran for Class President. However, that did not really count because Tina's sister Linda was around the whole time. _What's with little sisters always being around?_ Alex thought.

Although Alex and Tina enjoyed a great one-on-one conversation during that time where they got to know each other better, it had not been followed-up since then. There were the countless times Tina would come to the Bodega and hang out with Gaby in his and Gaby's room. Obviously, Gaby was always around when Tina hung out in their room. Plus, Tina had been there to see Gaby and not him.

The previous night was close though. Tina hosted her very first dinner party for the Ghostwriter team. Although Tina's small apartment was filled to capacity with Tina's parents, Linda, and the entire Ghostwriter team _sans_ Rob, and thus did not lend itself to many opportunities for Alex to get Tina alone, Alex would be able to observe Tina in close proximity and have a chance to talk to her outside the business of solving a mystery or having Gaby fully listening in. Alex had been looking forward to this dinner party for what felt like forever. He imagined all kinds of scenarios where he would have Tina all to himself and enamor her with his "charm". For the most part, however, Alex just wanted to enjoy Tina's company.

At the dinner party, Tina was surprisingly not there to greet them. Like her mom, Alex grew increasingly worried about Tina not being at her own party. However, he was also impatient to try the dishes she made. They smelled so good! The delicious aromas emanating from the dishes were too much for Alex to resist as he quickly sat down at the table and grabbed some chopsticks when her father invited them to enjoy the food without Tina.

Her father had mentioned Tina made the fried noodle dish herself. Alex could not wait to try it. He had been curious what Tina's cooking would be like. He would never openly admit to imagining Tina making food just for him, but those were some of his favorite fantasies. Not that a woman was cooking for him, but that Tina herself would care enough to make food for him and he would do the same. Alex felt as though eating a dish Tina made specifically for him (and the rest of the Ghostwriter team) was as if he was tasting a piece of Tina's soul.

Then Tina rushed in. Alex then became worried she would get a harsh scolding in front of the team. Alex personally knew what a scolding felt like. Then Alex observed the way Tina made her mom so happy when she interrupted her mother's scolding to give her some pretty flowers that obviously meant a lot to both of them.

Alex felt so proud of Tina at that moment. From the moment he first met Tina through the four mysteries they had solved together to now, Alex was already convinced Tina was the most amazing girl he had met. As he watched Tina with her mother enjoying the flowers Tina brought, Alex himself was amazed over the fact that Tina still found new ways to astonish him. While enjoying the view of Tina's smile for the countless time by this point in his life, Alex put his chopsticks down and made his way over to Tina's side.

Then the rest of the team plus Mr. Nguyen and Linda joined them. Alex suddenly felt Tina's father behind him. Regarding Mr. Nguyen, Alex at first imagined a stern man with a harsh accent much like his own father, and although he was right, he also saw a friendly, open, and good-hearted man who was proudly watching his daughter.

Alex then imagined himself winning Mr. Nguyen over one day. He knew it was important to do so because he came from a similar background where pleasing one's parents was of the utmost importance, but Alex himself simply felt it was important personally as he wanted Tina's parents to like and accept him.

Back to finding Double T, Tina and Alex walked through the Church of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary in the Financial District one minute away from the South Ferry subway stop.

Alex walked through the halls as if he owned the place. He was very familiar with what a Catholic church looked like and this one seemed similar to the ones his family brought him to for Spanish mass throughout the years. Although his family did not go to mass every Sunday, they attempted to go for every religious holiday. Alex knew that he would have to get confirmed in about four years and would be forced to join his parish's Confraternity of Christian Doctrine classes or CCD to prepare himself for that.

Alex was amused at the way Tina looked around the church with curiosity. It was as if she was transported to a different planet or dimension. He loved the way her eyes were wide at the candles and pictures of saints.

"This is all so ornate," Tina said taking all of the ornamentation around her in.

 _Ornate? That's a big word_ , Alex thought. "First time in a church?" Alex asked smiling in amusement. He simply could not imagine what never stepping into a church was like.

"I've been to one once for a wedding when I was a kid," Tina said while looking around at all the candles and statues of the Virgin Mary and all of the saints. "My cousin Kim from New Orleans married a Vietnamese Catholic man. Actually, my mom's side is Catholic, and it was a big deal in our family when she married my Dad because he's Buddhist. My mom said usually the non-Catholic converts into the church, but she went the other way and became Buddhist even though she didn't have to. She never told me why. A lot of people in my mom's family are still mad about it, and because of that and with them being in New Orleans, I don't get to see them much. But we all went to the wedding anyway because she's my mom's closest niece."

This made Alex wonder if there would be any issues if….

Alex was close to asking Tina more about what her own family personally thought about her cousin marrying a Catholic. He suddenly stopped himself from even thinking about that. He even stopped himself from wondering if his parents would force his and Gaby's partner to convert to the Catholic Church. This was getting too complicated too quickly for Alex. Right now, all he wanted was some alone time with Tina.

After searching around the church for close to half-an-hour, there was no sign of Double T.

 _Man, I really thought I was right about Double T would be here!_ Alex thought, frustrated that he was wrong about this strong hunch. He pretty much brought Tina all the way here for no reason and looked like a fool. _What kind of detective am I?_ Alex thought.

Tina then suggested they go back to the viewing telescopes near the spot where they found Double T's abandoned letter to meet with the rest of the team. Alex studied Tina's face to try to see any hint of disappointment but could not find any sign of it. Instead, he observed that she had a concentrated face looking at all the candles and incense burning off to the side of the entrances.

Alex and Tina wordlessly walked back to the meeting spot. Alex wanted to fill up the dead air between he and Tina, but was unsure of what to say. He was still disappointed about not finding Double T at the church. Then a frightening thought entered his mind. What if Alex could never figure out where Double T was? Alex wondered if Tina was quietly going over the clues as he had been as they were walking back to the meeting spot.

Tina led Alex to the meeting space. It was a beautiful, sunny day with a great breeze. The loud fog horn blew from the ferry floating past the Statue of Liberty. Taking all of this in, Alex felt that this day was not so bad after all. Alex rarely got to see Tina in this setting, and he certainly enjoyed what he saw. This brightened his mood.

"You know when I saw those candles and incense burning, I thought Double T would be there for sure," Alex said, his mind still on the case. _Where could he be?_

Before Alex could beat himself up any further about his detective work, Tina responded, "So did I. But at least you were right about the sacred names. They were all over the place!"

Simply hearing Tina said that absolutely brightened Alex's mood. So, it was not a stupid guess on his part. Even Tina thought Double T would be there even though she was the one who challenged his guess that the place with the sacred names with burning incense had to be a church.

Alex could not help but give a broad smile and say, "Uh..huh…thanks. Maybe Lenni, Jamal, and Gaby had better luck at the cemetery." He sure hoped they did for Rob's sake.

"I hope so." Tina responded encouragingly.

_Speaking of cemeteries…_

Alex hesitated before pushing forward. He had to know this and validate his own inclination. "You were afraid to go to the cemetery, weren't you?" Alex said without being able to control himself from smugly smiling. He knew he was right and he was trying to set up the ideal situation he had imagined in his head ever since he heard Tina say that cemeteries were "creepy". _Girls who are scared like it when a guy puts his arm around her to make her feel safe, right?_ Alex thought to himself.

"I didn't say that," Tina responded.

Alex was disappointed with Tina's response. He was sure she'd admit that she was afraid and then he would be able to swoop in to make her feel safe. She was obviously lying, why wouldn't she just admit it?

Without thinking, Alex replied, "Yeah well, you wouldn't had to worry about anything I would've been right next to you."

Alex suddenly stopped himself from caressing Tina's hair. Instead, he played it off as if he was just slicking his own hair back and then cupped his left cheek. It was like his hands had a mind of their own for a moment. _What am I doing? Why was I about to do that? I hope she didn't notice!_

Then Tina suddenly turned towards the view of the Statue of Liberty on the Bay. This prompted Alex to turn as well. Alex's mind was now racing imagining that Tina did notice but was being polite to not say anything.

_I can't figure this girl out!_

***(A/N:** I know "To the Light" aired in January-February 1993, but it was clearly shot some time in the Summer or mid-to-late Spring/early Fall considering the wardrobe of the characters and how sunny it was in that arc. Plus, I have to make it fit within the timeline as the "summer" after the first school year in the show happened in "Just in Time". I'm pushing it with having "To the Light" happen in the Spring as that means five story arcs/mysteries take place between like mid-April to late-May/early-June, but these are the cards I'm dealing with here. **)**

* * *

**The Present**

As Tina was focusing in on a shot of a lovely young couple walking hand-in-hand, she felt tingly sensation on her cheek. Alex caressed Tina's hair to move it out of her face.

"Thought that would make it easier for your shot," Alex said matter-of-factly, smiling.

Tina gave Alex a small smile and focused again and snapped the picture. As Tina put her camera down, she gave Alex and encouraging nod, but could not help but notice the faded bruise on his cheek. Alex looking so dapper and sleek made his bruise stand out a bit more. She hoped that whoever did that to him paid triple for what he gave Alex. Despite opening up last night, Tina still hadn't gotten around to asking Alex what exactly happened that Monday. She did not want to ruin their first day of vacation, so she pushed that thought out of her mind and put it on the back-burner for now.

After leaving the Soldiers' and Sailors' Arch, Alex seemed to be pushily forcing their way up Vanderbilt Ave. They were heading North towards Fort Greene. For someone who said that there was no structure today, Alex sure seemed to be heading somewhere.

"Where are we going?" Tina finally felt herself asking. She wasn't the type to just go along with the flow.

 _She really isn't one to just go with the flow, I should have thought this through,_ Alex thought. Before he could answer, he felt Tina grabbing inside Alex's leather messenger bag.

"Why did you bring that with you?" Tina asked curiously as Alex dragged her north past the bustle of Prospect Heights on a Saturday afternoon.

"Force of habit," Alex lied.

"Really?" Tina asked skeptically.

"Really," Alex said, _Damnit, she probably figured it out!_

 _Don't tell me he has to drop off some files or documents at the precinct,_ Tina thought. Then she felt guilty for even getting frustrated with that. _Stop complaining, at least you have him for a whole week and he was going to let me use this week to finish the movie in case I failed to do so, and these are real people hurt by real crimes…_

"Alex, if you need to drop off some papers at work, you can tell me, it's fine. I'm just glad to be with you," Tina said.

"Oh uh, yeah, thanks for that," Alex said avoiding any eye contact with Tina.

Catching some annoyance from Alex who clearly had some sort of destination in mind, Tina decided it was better to stay silent the rest of the way until they hit Fort Greene, then she would ask again because she was not the type of person to just go with the flow.

Alex was annoyed with himself. He had wanted to take a leisurely stroll up Prospect Heights under the guise of enjoying getting to know their new neighborhood with Tina not realizing they were heading towards Fort Greene. He also wanted to spend some time at the Brooklyn library and the Brooklyn Museum as well, even though it wasn't First Saturday and thus it cost money, just to make her distracted and catch her off-guard.

Of course, in retrospect, that plan was stupid because how would she not know they were heading to the neighborhood in which they were raised? Not to mention, it was a 28 minute walk from where they originated to the location he was heading. Plus, he mistimed it and now he was practically rushing her through the neighborhood.

Alex stole a glance at Tina who looked as though she was resisting solving this particular case. He thought that they must have looked quite funny as he was close to literally dragging her behind.

Whatever. Alex knew that in the end, all of this would be worth it.

* * *

**Late Spring 1993**

_This was it,_ Alex thought. His Papa gave him some sage advice on how to approach Tina and ask her out on a date. She was her own person. Women were not all the same. He made sure to consider carefully how he was going to ask Tina Nguyen out on a date.

At first, Alex was confused as to how to go about it because he did not understand what was it about Tina that made him want to ask her out. There was just _something_ about her. Did he really need a reason? No, he did not. He just felt it in his bones.

But that did not help him at all when it came to formally asking her out. At first, he tried to play it cool at South Ferry. That did not work. All it resulted in was him nearly creepily touching her face by the Hudson. _What a dork!_ Alex thought.

Then he tried calling her at Lana Barnes' house, where Tina worked, to casually ask her out. All that happened was him calling her and hanging up. He only later realized he was giving her an anxiety attack since Lana was receiving threatening messages from who turned out to be Lana's former stunt double.

His plan was lame too. He wrote down a few lines to say to her when she picked up the phone to break the ice, only for him to realize how stupid those lines were. Some of them included, "Hello Tina. I like you a lot." Which was straight to the point, but not conversational at all. He even tried to use "Hola, Tina. _Que Pasa?"_ even though she didn't speak Spanish. It wasn't really the communication issue that was the problem but the way he said it was the goofiest sounding thing he ever heard in his life, and reminded him of his cousin Richard Anthony hitting on girls when he babysat him and Gaby.

After Alex hung up on Tina for what seemed to be the 10th time, he decided to start over and wrote a new way to begin asking Tina out. He wrote "Hi Tina, it's me, Alejandro, I'm sorry about all those times I called you up on the telephone and hung up. I just wanted to tell you how much I really _dig_ you." Then he read it out loud. _Dig you…dig you…._ When did he ever use that word? What gotten into him? Did he overhear Max use that word once?

By sheer luck of timing, Eduardo came in while Alex crumbled it up into a ball and attempted to throw it into the waste bin. As the crumpled up ball hit Eduardo, Alex hurried to clean it up resulting in them hitting each other in the head like in a comedy. Then Eduardo amusedly told Alex it reminded him of a Cantiflas movie. It was serendipitous because Eduardo then mentioned how he used to take all of his dates to see Cantiflas movies prompting Alex to ask him if that was what he did with his Mama. Instead of confirming, Eduardo simply said his mother was much more serious and he was older when they met, and how she used to love to listen to him read her poetry.

Alex then thought all women may like poetry and thus Tina may like it too. But then Eduardo simply stated the obvious, that all women are different, which he already knew. He was just excited at the prospect of having an "easy" answer. Eduardo then told Alex to use his imagination and find out what both he and the girl liked to do and go from there. Basically, think about what he and Tina liked to do and just get to know one another to see if they were compatible. That was it. The simplest thing, and yet even some grown people some feel the need to use tricks.

That was the problem when Alex first started. He was not being himself and thinking of this whole ritual as some sort of game, when all he had to do was talk to Tina and figure out if she was interested and if he was interested once he knew her better.

Eduardo not only taught Alex an invaluable life lesson, but he also made Alex think about who Tina was as a person and what she would appreciate. Then he figured it out.

After the Ghostwriter Team solved the case of "Who's Who", Alex came by Tina's apartment only to be told by her mother that Tina could be found at Lana Barnes' house as she was working her last shift there. As he came in, Alex approached Tina with a movie script he had been working on – knowing that would get Tina's attention. What he knew about Tina was that she lived and breathed film. Luckily for him, Alex also enjoyed movies.

Under the guise of going over the script, Alex asked Tina to read for the character "Tischa" while he read "Alfred".

Looking at the script, Tina started.

Tischa: Hello Alfred, why do you look so sad?

Alfred: I have a confession to make Tischa…

Tischa: What is it, Alfred?

Alfred: Well, Tischa, I've been trying to tell you how much I like you for a long time, but whenever I call you up on the phone, I freeze up and I don't know what to say.

Then Tina broke character and asked "Was that you?"

Not knowing how to respond, Alex simply pointed back to the page and directed Tina to continue.

Tischa: Was that you, Alfred?

Alfred: Yes, Tischa, that was me. I'm sorry if I scared you. I was just too shy to come right out and ask you if you would… like to go to the movies with me, Tischa.

Then Tina created her own stage directions and put the paper down making Alex nervous. Out of character, Alex asked "Is anything, wrong?" He was close to having a panic attack.

Tina then started improving. She looked solemnly down and readied herself to give Alex some disappointing news. "I'm sorry Alfred, I can't go." Then Tina looked down again, looking very sorry for delivering that line.

It took everything in Alex's power not to run out of there. Instead, he readied himself to calmly leave as his mind was racing. She had a right to reject him as she was under no obligation to go out with him just because he liked her. That was fair, and at least Tina was blunt about it.

Before Alex could finish collecting the papers of his script, Tina then smiled mischievously and said "I rather go with my good friend, Alex."

Relief was not the proper word to describe what Alex was feeling. He simply took hold of her hand and smiled at her to which she returned brightly.

Later on, Alex realized how a minx Tina was and wondered if she was fully aware of the power she had over him right then and there and forever more.

* * *

**Present – About 30 Minutes Later**

Tina was trying not to be pissed off, but Alex was truly testing her patience at this moment. If they were going to be doing all that walking, she might as well put on her sneakers and some jeans. She noticed beads of sweat dropping from Alex's head. Then she felt beads of sweat coming down from hers as well. She always thought she and Alex were in good shape, but that was some stroll.

Observing Alex, Tina took note of an expression of pure determination. Wherever he was taking her, it was probably good. He seemed to be a man on a mission. Secretly, Tina hoped he was taking her to that new biergarten that opened up near the border of Fort Greene and Clinton Hill that showed old movies on a large screen while patrons sat on long wooden community tables. Maybe he invited some family and the team to hang out. Jamal and Casey were in town and it would be nice to see them again. Last night they told her they were only coming in for the weekend and leaving early Sunday. It made her feel warm inside knowing they traveled all that way just for her dinner party.

Then Tina started to imagine Alex proposing to her. That would be some shock. It just felt like they got back together and were still trying to figure out how their relationship was going to work. Last night was a turn page turning, but a proposal would seem like it was coming from nowhere, while at the same time be totally expected. It did feel right, didn't it? It's not as if she would say 'no' because she did want to marry Alex. He seemed to be as keen as her with all the hints he had been given. But it was odd. Every married or engaged friend she had knew ahead of time that they were getting engaged, had discussed marriage with their partner, their future plans, kids, where they wanted to live, and what kind of wedding they wanted.

Despite dating for two years now, at minimum since they had been dating on-and-off for years since they were children, Tina realized she shockingly knew very little about what Alex was thinking long-term. Would he ever want to move out of Brooklyn or even NYC? She hoped not. Tina wanted to live and die a New Yorker. But what if he wanted to buy a house one day, with a lawn? That's impossible in this city unless you were the son of some Sheik or Chinese mogul. Did he want kids? Wait…did she want kids? Would she keep her last name?

The more Tina thought about what she and Alex NEVER spoke about, it became clearer to Tina that a proposal was unlikely. She and Alex had a lot of things to discuss before that step took place, and it would not be fair to expect Alex to do so when both of them were still trying to figure out their lives out and how to fit each other in them.

However, that would explain his vague and uneventful timekeeping schedule today. Tina could not help but build up that expectation in her mind. She started imagining how romantic Alex would be with it since he was so into big gestures. All kinds of scenarios played into her head, the kind Tina had seen in countless romantic movies. The idea of the proposal kept Tina distracted from her increasingly hurting feet as she did not wear the right kinds of shoes for this sort of rushed hurried walking.

Alex could hear Tina breathing a bit heavier behind him. _Why didn't we just take a cab?_ Alex thought. No matter, they were at the destination, even though he did not dare look back at Tina for fear of what she must have looked like. Alex had become concerned as Tina grew increasingly quiet as she was being dragged along this half-hour trek. He wondered what on Earth she could be thinking about right about now. If he was in her shoes, he would be pissed off.

Finally, he hit the corner of his destination. The excitement was bursting inside of him. He could not wait to see the look on her face. She would be so surprised.

"Oh look! That's what I'm looking for!" Alex exclaimed.

Before he could grab Tina's hand again, Tina simply said, "What are you talking about Alex?"

Alex noticed Tina's face change from curiosity to one of disappointment. "Over there, Tina! Come on!" Alex then grabbed hold of Tina's hand and led her to his destination.

They rounded the corner were suddenly faced with an empty lot filled with garbage bags stacked on top of each other in a faded wooden cart parked against a white brick background with some graffiti.

"What the hell?" Tina reflexively asked once she stood side-by-side with him.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Alex asked smiling broadly and proudly seemingly not listening to Tina's agitated tone of voice.

"I mean, I guess it's an aesthetic," Tina said puzzled. "What are we doing here? Did you buy this lot or something?"

Alex shrugged off Tina's question. "Here, I have something to show you," Alex said. He reached into his messenger bag, and pulled out two copies of some stapled pages. "It's a script I've been working on."

"Really? You've been working on a script?" Asked Tina skeptically.

Alex noticed Tina's raised eyebrow and brushed off any thought that she already knew what he was going to do. Choosing to play dumb, Alex continued, "I wanted you to read it and see if it was any good. After working on so many cases, I figured that I had enough plotlines and characters saved in my head for at least a _Law and Order: SVU_ episode. I'm a bit nervous, so I wanted to get the atmosphere right to help you visual it. It takes place outside a busy dumpster scene like this."

"Is there a dead body involved?" Tina asked half sarcastically and half increasingly interested this imaginary script now.

"What? No!" Alex responded, genuinely shocked.

Tina giggled, which prompted Alex and look at the sky.

Before Tina could continue to ask more questions, Alex took Tina's camera off from her shoulders and said, "Ok, now, you read the part of Tischa, and I'll read Alfred."

 _Wait…this sounds familiar,_ Tina thought.

Before Tina could delve deeper into her thoughts, Alex grabbed her hand and made her go into the cart with the trash bags.

"What!?" Tina exclaimed.

"Come on, just get in character," Alex said.

 _He is really asking for too much now,_ Tina thought before Alex strong-armed Tina into the cart.

The trash strangely did not smell bad or of anything really. She felt it was mostly made up of paper or packing peanuts when she momentarily leaned against one.

"Ok, Tina, go ahead and read the first line."

Tina coughed a few times to clear her throat, and then started.

Tischa: So, Alfred, why did you take us back to the scene of the crime of a case we already solved?

Alfred: Because, Tischa, this place is special for us.

Tischa: What do you mean, Alfred?

Alfred: I know that this wasn't our first case together, and we've had many cases since them where we've done better work, but this was the case that started it all for us.

Tischa: Oh because we…

Alfred: That's right, Tischa. It was the first case where we took our professional relationship into nonprofessional territory.

Tischa: But Alfred, we socialized before and even went to a movie together.

Alfred: I know Tischa, but this was our first kiss. Right here, when we were in the height of danger. The heat of the moment overtook us. Knowing this might be our last living moment, we threw caution to the wind and let our true feelings towards one another be known. That kiss, right here among the trash while we were being chased, it is the kiss I remember the most.

Tina stood there dumbstruck as Alex's reading of Alfred went from being stilted to natural. Then Tina remembered she had a part to play and fumbled with her page to see where her next line was. Alex then grabbed her hand and threw the script to the wind.

Then Alex inhaled deeply and dropped his script and then dropped to his knees and took both of her hands into his.

"Forget the stupid script, Tina," Alex said. "I just wanted to tell you that I've remembered every moment with you. Every mystery we've solved as kids, every conversation we've had, every fight, every look we've exchanged, every time I thought about you, even though we were separated…and I never fail but to think about this kiss right here in the dumpster…yeah I know it's not the same dumpster, but Mr. Miller's hauling company is now two coffee shops, a consignment shop, an organic food co-opt, a pop-up space, and a three different bakeries selling fusion baked goods, believe me I checked."

Tina giggled with her eyes tearing up.

"And I think it's just so perfect that our first kiss wasn't this lame awkward thing happening after we had a meal or after a movie or in some romantic scene, but it was among trash while Mr. Miller was chasing us down. I don't know why it's perfect, but it was. Life isn't always perfect but you find love even in hopeless places. And it's fitting because all of those movies or photographs you show me, you're always guiding me to finding the beauty even in the worst images…to find love even in the worst times but also the best. In other words, Tina, you are the beauty I find every day that I'm breathing. Not a moment goes by where I'm not thinking about you in some way, nothing I do from now on will ever not consider you. You are a part of me, and have been since that kiss back in the dumpster…Tina, I need you to be there with me and to kiss me when I'm down with the 'trash'. I can't imagine going through life's trash without you and knowing you will be there to kiss me when I need it most…."

Then Alex reached into his messenger bag and pulled out the black box. Alex was not nervous at all. Instead, he was just holding his breath with anticipation of the answer he knew he would be receiving. He propped the box open showcasing the ring he worked so hard to have come together.

Alex watched Tina's lips forming a smile as she wiped away tears and visibly shaking.

Then things went silent.

 _Why isn't she saying yes?_ Alex thought.

Alex watched As Tina started to awkwardly hold her position.

"Uh…" Alex said in response.

"Oh my God Alex, just like with me moving in, you haven't actually asked me yet!" Tina finally exclaimed while holding back laughter as best as she could.

"Oh Jesus!" Alex exclaimed in response. _How stupid!_ "Tina Tram-Anh Nguyen, will you accept Alejandro Oscar Fernandez as your husband, even when he forgets the most obvious steps and just makes assumptions?"

Tina took a moment to clear her throat and then surprised Alex by kneeling in front of him. They knelt face to face amongst all the trash bags. Then Tina squeezed Alex's hand, which were still holding up the ring box. Alex felt her tear soaked face brush against his as her lips touched his cheek where his fading bruise was located. Then, Tina simply smiled, nodded, and replied, "Yes." This resulted in Alex screaming at the top of his lungs that she had indeed accepted his proposal. Alex quickly put the ring on Tina's finger and picked her up eagerly. He had the strength of ten bears.

Some passers-by were screaming slightly confused congratulations and mazel tovs to the newly affianced couple surrounded by a ton of trash bags.

Then out from the corners came Jamal, Lenni, Gaby, Rob, Hector, and Casey. Then Linda and her parents followed with Mr. and Mrs. Fernandez.

At this very moment, Lot 352 on Carlton Avenue off of Dekaulb was the most jubilant joint to be in.

* * *

**Late October 2005**

Alex frantically ran into the emergency room of Mount Sinai Beth Israel hospital. The last thing he remembered was getting a frantic call from Sandra Nakano, Tina's agent at Creative Artists Agency, that Tina had collapsed at their meeting regarding submitting _Sassy Street Walk_ to Sundance and if they should reconsider the title prior to submission.

He just knew Tina added too much on her plate, and he let her do it! In the past month, Tina remodeled their apartment together, was doing all kinds of preparations _Sassy Street Walk_ before being released to the festival circuit. These preparations included doing reshoots, interviewing more participants who heard about the project and wanted to add their own stories, and re-editing the film. Furthermore, Tina shot a music video for Lenni, and was preparing a reel of all of her past films to submit to audition for various projects looking for directors that she had wanted to work on. On top of that, she and Rob started talking about writing a screenplay together.

Alex angrily admonished himself for being too busy to notice that Tina had run herself to the point of pure exhaustion. The problem with being put on an undercover internal investigation of the NYPD Vice Squad was that he had to be assigned to a few more cases at the 90th Precinct just to justify Alex still being there and not yet being transferred to the Major Case Squad in Manhattan. Therefore, he was again working late nights or continuous days on major investigations running the gamut from armed robbery and conspiracy to cracking down on counterfeit currency operations.

 _Some engagement honeymoon,_ Alex thought. The only thing he got from McQuade was a "finally!" then it was back to business. On his way to Beth Israel, Alex's mind ran the gamut of various conditions and diseases she may have had driving him mad.

Alex pushed his way towards the counter and demanded to know where Room 107 was located, startling a few people in the waiting room and the hospital staff. He showed his badge out-of-habit before realizing he frightened the poor nurse who now thought Tina may be getting arrested.

Before she could answer, Sandra came out from the corner and lead Alex to Tina.

"It was so shocking, Alex. Actually, Tina and I were having an argument before she collapsed. I couldn't believe it, I was so stunned, I screamed and yelled for an ambulance before realizing I had a phone and could call one myself.

"An argument?! What were you screaming at Tina for?" Alex screamed.

"We always argue. It's how we brainstorm her next step."

"You didn't notice any signs of stress during it?"

"To be honest, we were both heated up to notice much of anything," Sandra said matter-of-factly and like I said before, it wasn't a real argument, it's just how we get ideas out of our heads and find one that sticks." Sandra quickly added fearing Alex's wrath.

Alex was fuming until he realized they passed up room 107. "Where are we going?" Alex asked.

"Oh, they took her out of the room because she no longer needed it. They just put her on a bed with the other non-serious cases in a common area," Sandra said sounding chipper.

"HOW COULD THEY DO THAT? SHE COLLAPSED! DID THEY EVEN EXAMINE HER?" Alex exploded.

"Alex, calm down," Sandra said, "She's really fine. Believe me."

Before Alex could respond, he and Sandra entered the room with all the patients lying in beds. For a hospital space full of sick and/or injured people, it sure was energetic and lively. Alex took in the sounds of IV machines, heart rate monitors, various doctors and other staff speaking, and conversations between patients and their loved ones.

"She's over at the end there," Sandra told Alex pointing to the bed furthest to the window on the East Side of the room. Tina's curtains were up, and he wouldn't have known she was inside had it not been for Sandra.

"Alex, I'll let you and Tina be alone. I'll come check on you guys later."

And without another word, Sandra skipped out of out of the room. She seemed a bit lighthearted about this situation, Alex thought.

Alex carefully opened the curtains and saw Tina eating a chocolate pudding cup with an empty plate of hospital food in front of her. This was not the image Alex expected.

"Oh hey, _Anh!_ " Tina said cheerfully.

Alex responded by rushing towards Tina and squeezing her tight. "Oh my God, _Em_ , you're ok!"

Tina just embraced his hug knowing how scary all of that must have sounded when Sandra initially called him to notify him that she had collapsed and was in an ambulance to the hospital.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Someone had a flat tire on the Brooklyn Bridge, so there was only one lane, and McQuade didn't let me drive myself because I was in such a panic, and Yvette had to drive me…Yvette is looking for parking now, but maybe I should just call her up and let her know she can just go back to the Precinct…anyway, I can't believe it took me so long to get here, what if it was something really bad and I would have missed it and…."

Tina gave Alex a spoonful of chocolate pudding to quiet him up. The taste of the chocolate pudding was incredibly tasty must to Alex's surprise. He got the hint.

"Well, _Em,_ what happened? It wasn't just because you've been forgetting to eat, have you?" Alex asked going from pure concern and veering towards a tone of admonishment.

"Oh," Tina said before taking another spoonful of pudding, "that's part of it."

"So, there's more? What is it?" Alex asked veering back towards pure concern.

Tina hesitated, which only annoyed Alex.

"Tina, you have to tell me what it is, don't worry, the wedding can still go forward no matter what it is…I know we haven't set a date yet and your mom is pressuring you to find a date, and there's the whole matter of whether we'll be having a Catholic or a Buddhist ceremony that we haven't even dealt with yet…and…"

"Alex, I'm pregnant." Tina stated flatly.

Alex looked at Tina, then looked at her stomach, then looked at her face again, then her stomach, and then back. "How? You're stomach is so flat."

"Alex, I'm only four weeks pregnant. It's only the size of a poppy seed right now. There's nothing to see there."

"You're…you're really pregnant? You're going to be a mom? Wait, that means, I'm going to be a Dad?"

Alex could not wrap his mind around it. They were so young. How did it happen? Well, ok, he knew how it happened. Thinking about it, he was surprised it didn't happen sooner.

Tina chuckled at Alex's expression. "Yeah, we are." She finally answered. Truthfully, Tina was scared shitless over Alex's reaction.

She and Alex hadn't even talked about having kids and last time she checked in with herself about that topic, she was still unsure whether she wanted to have children. What twenty-three year old professional woman would even think about kids right now? And yet, she was so incredibly happy at this news.

But what about Alex? What if he didn't want a baby? Given their ages, where they were in their careers, and the fact they never discussed having kids, it's not like she could blame him, except for the fact that he kept seducing her. It was also her fault too as her being increasingly busy with work that she failed to take her Dep-Provera shots on schedule, thus missing her last appointment counting on the fact that the chances were still slim that she would get pregnant.

Then Alex let out a huge yell. "Everyone! I'm going to be a Papa!" he exclaimed to the entire hospital room. Tina watch Alex beam with sheer happiness and excitement. It was incredibly contagious. Tina was close to bursting into tears of pure joy at this sight. Some patients and their visitors congratulated them while others were so not in the mood. The hospital staff came by, and instead of admonishing Alex, ended up congratulating him and offering the both of them their best wishes.

As Alex pulled Tina into a warm embrace, they could not help but kiss again.

_It started with a kiss, in the back row of the classroom  
How could I resist the aroma of your perfume  
You and I were inseparable, it was love at first sight  
You made me promise to marry you, I made you promise to be my bride  
But you were only eight years old and I had just about turned nine  
I thought that life was always good, I thought you always would be mine  
  
_ _It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this  
It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this_

_  
I remember every little thing, like fighting in the playground  
_ _Some good looking boys had started to hang around  
_ _That boy hurt me so bad but I was happy 'cause you cried  
_ _Still I couldn't help but notice that new distant look in your eyes  
_ _Then when you were sixteen I had just turned seventeen  
_ _I couldn't hold on to my love, I couldn't hold on to my dream_

_It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this  
It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this  
  
_ _You don't remember me do you?  
You don't remember me do you?  
  
_ _Walking down the streets again, the star of my love story  
And my heart began to beat so fast, so clear was my memory  
I heard my voice call out your name as you looked then looked away  
I felt so hurt, I felt so small, it was all that I could say  
  
_ _You don't remember me do you?  
You don't remember me do you?  
  
_ _It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this  
It started with a kiss, I never thought it would come to this_

_-_ Hot Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to pin down for me as I put a lot of pressure on myself to do the proposal justice since Alex and Tina were my first ever OTP ship. I hope you guys enjoy this one. This is the last chapter taking place in the fall and the next set of chapters will take place over Christmas and Winter. The next chapter will focus on the team and their parents.
> 
> Please leave a review or a message about what you think about the chapter or the fic so far. I really need to know and it motivates me to keep writing and going.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I really appreciate the lot of you who have made it through the whole thing so far.


	15. Chapter 14: 1979: A Time for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving 2005. First installment of a 6-part Thanksgiving arc where the characters have heart-to-hearts with their parents complete with flashbacks to where their parents were at in 1979.
> 
> In a "Time for Love", Lenni and Rob wade through their relationship and find that transitioning from a platonic-flirtatious relationship to an amorous one may not be as natural as they expected. Lenni learns of the story of how her father met her mother in 1979.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For any of my longtime readers, please take a new look at chapters 1-9; I've reworked them all and tried to painstakingly get rid of any typos and grammatical errors. I fixed some of the wording as well. I've reworked "Chapter 1: Wake Up" and added a new scene for Jamal in the end. I've added new passages in the beginning of "Chapter 2: En La Bodega" with a section from Eduardo Fernandez's perspective and rewrote some scenes to make them better reads. I revamped "Chapter 3: Rain and Tears" changing a lot of the text to make it read better. I've pretty much revamped all of those chapters.

**A Time for Love**

**Thanksgiving Day – November 24, 2005**

**2:00pm– at the Fort Greene Hope House**

"Blast this damn thing!" Lenni yelled as she tried to figure out why this commercial mixing bowl suddenly stopped mixing. It was bad enough that she was having a migraine today, but her dad's band just started their set and the pounding bass was hammering into her head.

"What's the matter?" asked Gaby, who had her arms full of giant-sized cans of peas.

"This thing just stopped working!" Lenni replied as she wiped a streak of flour on her forehead.

Lenni then heard some chuckling from the corner.

"Hey, don't laugh!"

"Sorry," Rob answered shrugging his shoulders. "Would you rather have my job?"

"No thanks," Lenni said unamused.

"Why am I always on potato peel duty?"

"Because you're a vegan," Gaby joked.

"Again, I'm not a…"

"Because you were so bad at it the first time you volunteered here that Sally and I were determined to make you better at it by making you do it every year," Lenni interrupted, answering seriously.

"Hey!" Rob answered in an exaggerated manner then feigning offense.

Gaby giggled.

Lenni was still not smiling.

"Anyway, I think I'm pretty good at it now, so I think I can move on to other things," Rob replied.

"No, you're too good at it now that you aren't qualified for anything else," Lenni answered while examining the mixer – her frustration increasing.

"That's not fair!" Rob joked.

"I'm sorry you don't like your one major job, maybe you'd like to juggle baking this gigantic sheet cake and decorate the frosting while also turning those peeled potatoes into the mashed potatoes, and baking the cornbread, and…"

"Maybe I will. It gets tiring doing the most menial job and then doing dining room duty." Rob's tone changing from jocular to combative.

"Yeah well, I'm sorry volunteering for the homeless is such a drag."

"I never said that!"

"Then stop complaining!"

"Hey, I think…"

"Ok, stop flirting you two," Gaby interrupted.

"We weren't flirting," Lenni answered back.

"I'll say," Rob said in a decibel that made Lenni think he meant to utter it under his breath. She chose to ignore that.

Before they could continue, Sally entered into the kitchen with five empty steamtable pans.

"Lenni, could you be a dear, and grab these and put them in the sink? Could you also see how long the wait is for the cornbread while Gaby and I grab the other trays of turkey and gravy before we open the second round?"

"Sure thing, Sally," Lenni replied eyeing the seemingly never-ending line of folks looking to be fed when Gaby and Sally exited the kitchen through the swinging door.

Lenni stared blankly at the door until the sudden noise of the mixer woke her up from her daze. She turned and saw Rob pointing to the plug socket against the wall before he went back on potato peeling duty.

"You want to help me add the dry ingredients and then pour the batter on the sheet tray? Then I can help you peel the potatoes after I check on the cornbread. We can mash the potatoes together." Lenni offered a smile.

Rob replied with a slight smile.

A few hours later, after the final dinner was served, Sally told Lenni to join Rob on a break while she and the other volunteers start the clean-up in the kitchen. Lenni searched for Rob only to find him leaning against the brick wall in the alleyway.

Lenni strode towards Rob and sighed.

"Pretty good service today."

Rob shrugged his shoulders.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Rob again shrugged his shoulders.

"Ok, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Rob, come on, what is it?"

"Why are you being so weird lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since we started having sex, it's been weird."

Lenni did not know what to say to that. He wasn't wrong. They both thought once they took the plunge to dive deep into a sexual relationship that the romantic part would come naturally. It had not. In fact, Lenni now did not know how to act with Rob.

"Listen, I'm just going help with the clean-up, then head back to my place," Rob muttered seemingly deflated.

"Rob, you told my dad and Sally that you were having Thanksgiving with us, remember?"

"Sorry, I'm just not in the mood."

"Rob…"

"Listen, it's not personal alright, I gotta other things on my mind."

"Like what?"

"It's nothing serious, don't worry about it."

"Don't worry? Of course, I'm worried if something is bothering you."

"Forget I said anything."

"Rob!"

"Listen, you're the one acting distant, alright? Every time I try to get close or really get more intimate, outside of bed, you act all strange and deflect. I'm getting tired of it. If you don't want to be bothered me, then don't pretend to be interested on. Or at least stop selecting when you want to be interested."

"I'm so sick of your shit."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm talking about your entire loner act. You're 25 now with at least five close friends who love you. A set of parents who care about you. Yet you still choose to wallow in that persona. It just gives you an excuse to recuse yourself when you want. You act all distant every time something complicated or hard happens with us, with any of us. You're doing it to me right now!"

"That's not what I do. You've just found something to attack to deflect from your own behavior."

"And now you're deflecting! And, for the record, it is what you do! You've been doing it since middle school, when you came back from Australia, and even now. You make me feel like I'm walking on broken glass."

"That's rich!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Exactly how it sounds. Last month, I said I think I could fall in love with you and you shied away from me and told me 'let's keep it slow.'"

"I didn't say it like that."

"You didn't say it in those words, but you essentially said it. You just don't know you did. You have two selves with me, Lenni. You have the friend Lenni and you have the sex partner Lenni."

"Funny how I never heard you complain about either until now. In fact, you quite enjoy the sex me."

"Of course, I enjoy it! But this duality isn't right in a girlfriend…a partner. You have to merge the two. It has to be more than the sum of its parts. I feel like I'm dealing with two different people. Something switches in you with me."

"Let me ask you this, then? If it's been so weird and I've been acting like a _bad_ girlfriend, then why did you tell you could fall in love with me?"

"Because, there are moments…moments when it's me and you together and I feel you letting yourself be open with me and that's the part I know I can fall in love with. But they're brief."

"You were just trying to manipulate the situation," Lenni answered.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Rob answered in exasperation.

"You told me that in the hopes I would finally be the Lenni you saw a glimmer of. You thought that would trigger something inside of me to be that person. I'm sorry I'm not that person all of the time. I am me. This is me. This is who I am right now!" Lenni screamed back.

"That fucking hurt, Lenni. I was telling you how I truly felt at the time, and you make me out as some kind of…monster. There's no other word for the person you described me as."

Rob and Lenni stood in silence stewing in their thoughts.

Lenni was dumbfounded. She thought they were organically growing as a partnership. They would enjoy each other physically, but also enjoy each other the way they've always had. Lenni slumped against the brick wall and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"I don't know what you want from me, Rob. I thought I was doing it. Clearly, I'm not according to you."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Rob was clearly frustrated.

"What now?"

"'What now?' 'What now?'" Rob repeated throwing his hands in the air.

Lenni only offered him a brief glance before turning away again. _He can be so theatrical sometimes._

"You just turned it on me. You're not even acknowledging how weird our situation is, don't you think it's weird?"

"I just thought it was supposed to be different from…" Lenni stopped herself from finishing her thought.

"'Different from'? I get it…it's not like it was with Kyle and you assumed it wouldn't be with me and thought all this was normal?"

"Rob, I…"

"Nah, forget it. I heard you loud and clear. Of course, I'm not Kyle and what we have isn't what you had with him. How could I compete with a ghost?" Rob laughed then ran away. Lenni hazard a guess that Rob would not be helping with the clean-up either.

When Lenni re-entered the kitchen, she saw her father and Sally laughing it up with the other volunteers cleaning up. How was she going to explain Rob's absence to everyone?

"Hey, Lenni!"

Lenni turned and saw Gaby staring back at her.

"Oh hey, Gaby," Lenni said.

"I'm gonna head out. I have to help my parents prepare for the late Thanksgiving dinner with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins. There's so much to do!" Gaby complained. "Alex is so lucky he gets to have dinner with Tina's family first before coming to our dinner and gets to avoid having to help out."

Lenni gave Gaby an obligatory chuckle.

"Tell your parents 'thanks' for the food they've donated!" Sally yelled from the sinks.

"Te nada!" Gaby replied smiling and waving a good-bye to Sally before rushing out.

Back at home, Lenni slumped on the couch as Sally rushed to shower before dinner.

"Hey, Bibs, you gonna tell me what's going on?" Max asked.

Lenni just gave her father a sigh. It was no use telling him nothing was going on. For one thing, Rob wasn't having dinner with them, so she knew she'd have to explain it. For another, she could not truly hide anything from her father. She never could. He knew how to read her like a book. He only allowed her to keep her thoughts to herself when he felt as if he did not need to intervene. He knew when to give her space. The fact that he was now asking meant she'd have to tell him what happened sooner or later.

Lenni described the conversation between her and Rob to Max with full detail.

"Well, that was a lot," Max said, clearly uncomfortable with his daughter telling him about her and Rob's sex life. It was not graphic by any means, but it was not a conversation Max wanted to really have, Lenni imagined.

"I mean, I had to tell you about it, otherwise, you wouldn't fully understand what happened."

Max and Lenni sat side-by-side contemplating.

"You know, Bibs…you remind me so much of your mom."

"Really?" Lenni asked.

"Yes, really. I never told you the full story of how your mom and I got together, did I?"

"I don't know. You told me you guys met in Paris and she played a little hard-to-get with you and then you guys were inseparable after that. Then I came along about a year later. You make it sound romantic, a bit of a whirlwind, but romantic."

"Well, that was the abridged version, let me tell you what really happened."

* * *

**Summer 1979 – Paris, France**

Max enjoyed early morning breeze blow in his hair as he strode along Canal Saint-Martin. It had to be the most beautiful spot in Paris. People were chilling, sitting on the cobblestone sidewalk on the edge of the canal while barges and other boats navigate the series of locks to then pass under the beautiful arched cast-iron footbridges connecting the east and west banks.

Max crunched on his croissant and sipped on his _café au lait_ that he just purchased from the nearby boulangerie. This is what heaven must have tasted like.

Of course, an accordion started playing in the background. Max had been told not to expect Paris to be full of accordion music and whimsy and it was only an American's image of Paris. However, Max swore he heard an accordion playing every day he had been there. It was like hearing a trombone or a trumpet playing in the French Quarter of New Orleans. It just was what I was.

Max walked along the west bank of the canal eyeing all the different people sitting along the edges. Some were crouched down, deep in conversation, others were sitting on nearby benches taking in the scenery while smoking countless cigarettes, while others more were walking alongside him, some with dogs that they did not clean up after. Max learned the hard way to watch his step when he walked down the Paris sidewalks.

He continued dreamingly walking down the sidewalk, enjoying the view while he could. He imagined what life would be like if he ever decided to move to Paris.

"Hé, qu'est-ce que tu as dans le sac?"

Suddenly a feminine voice jolted Max awake.

"Monsieur?" She added expectantly.

"Uh…parle moi?"

Max then turned to face the woman who was speaking to him. In front of him was a pale, thin wispy woman with such long, thick flowing blonde hair and red lipstick sitting on a stool in front of a canvas and an easel holding a paintbrush with her right hand and a painter's palette on her left hand.

The woman giggled.

 _She was so beautiful,_ he thought. _My God, French women are just on another level_. Images of Catherine Deneuve and Brigitte Bardot ran through his head on a loop. This woman was a like a cross between them.

"Parlez-vous Français?"

"Uhh, je parle un peu." Max knew he said that right. He said it so many times in the past two months.

She giggled again. Max swore he saw some mischievousness in her eyes as she offered him an impish smile.

"Oh, tant pis, monsieur. C'est vraiment dommage que tu ne parles pas français parce que je t'aurais emmené au lit tout de suite."

Max looked at this enticing girl blankly. He had no idea what she just said. _I guess two months is not enough time to learn a language through immersion_.

She spoke so quickly that Max tried to pick some words he recognized. He swore he heard the word "bed" in there. _Is she homeless? Does she need a bed to sleep in?_

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

"Ok, I know what that means!" Max answered. This girl was pulling his leg.

She suddenly burst out laughing.

"Ha ha, very funny. _Très drôle_."

"I'm sorry, but you're just so cute when you look so helpless. I had to keep going to see how far I could take it."

"Wait, why do you sound American?"

"Because I am American, you dummy."

"Oh…" Max then thought how foolish he had been when he was mentally waxing poetic about French women.

"Anyway, what I asked you was 'whatcha got in your bag?'"

"Oh, just some croissants."

"Yeah? You got chocolate?"

"I have a _pain au chocolat_ in there somewhere, do you want one?"

"Thought you'd never offer," she said as she jumped from her stool and nabbed a chocolate croissant. " _Merci_ ". He noticed her hands were calloused and housed a technicolor array of smudges. He watched as she scarfed down the chocolate croissant as if she hadn't eaten in days. He then reflexively offered her his café au lait, which she drank heartedly. _Maybe she is homeless_.

"So, I'd ask what a girl like you is doing in a place like this, but that'd be a dumb thing to ask seeing your easel there."

"You got that right. Meet, Claude!" she exclaimed, pointing to her easel. "He's been with me since high school. Been through a lot."

"Where was high school?"

Max could not help but notice the crumbs on the corner of her mouth. He wondered what they would taste like now.

"What are you? A cop?"

"What? No! I'm no pig!"

"I'm just messin' with ya. High school is back in Michigan. I'm from Kalamazoo, if you can believe it."

"Why do you talk like you're from New York?"

"Well, when you're from Kalamazoo, you gotta do somethin'…I'd ask where you're from, but I can tell you're from New York."

"That's right. Born in East Harlem and raised in the Bronx actually. I live in SoHo now. I take it you've been."

"The Bronx? You don't talk like your accent is in the back of your throat, nor do you hit your initial consonants hard. You all do that; it's a tough borough."

"Hey, we all don't do that."

"Anyway, hell yeah I've been to New York. Pretty groovy place. I just moved there and then moved from there. Lived there for about a year before some clowns decided to take me to Paris some months ago to sponsor my art. Felt I could be a professional artist…more like they just wanted a one-woman factory to reproduce one painting I've done that had some buzz. Then they wanted me to recreate other people's work. I quit on them some weeks after they moved me here. They're trying to find me so they could sue me. So, let's lay low."

"What, really?" Max asked.

"Well, kinda, but not really. They can't sue me because I don't have any money. That's the beauty of it!" She laughed heartedly and punched Max on the arm.

She continued, "You know, I moved to New York thinking that's where the scene was, but it's so hard in New York. I'm nobody special there. Every nobody who wants to be somebody goes there. It's a rough place. Anyway, after moving from rat hole to rat hole while taking an unpaid apprenticeship with the renown Mrs. Bailee …" She paused as if that name should mean something to Max, but he feared his nonreaction revealed his ignorance of the art scene.

"…Anyway, while working these gigs at various markets painting all kinds of things on garments that people requested, I kept being told by others that every artist had to go to Paris…then I got it into my head I had to go to Paris and to see what real artists were like.

"You see, I figured that Paris was soft and romantic and beautiful, not like New York. Don't get me wrong, New York is beautiful, but it's hard to see how beautiful it is while you're sleeping in alleyways and fighting rats in these tenements passing up all the heroin users and porno theaters and pimps…

"So I thought it'd be easier there. I found two art French agents eyeing some people at the New York School of Art and I crashed the audition. They saw how hungry I was and brought me to Paris.

"But after staying here for a while, it's beautiful and all, but I think New York is where it's at. It's just happening and fresh. I met this one guy named Keith Haring, his stuff is just so happening. It's so different; so street.

"Or look at Jean-Michel Basquiat! Do you know him? No? You should! He's this nineteen-year-old and I know he's going to start a revolution in art! He focuses on dichotomies of wealth versus poverty! That's what I want to do. Social commentary through art! Social change prompted by art!"

As she said that, Max side-eyed her easel hoping she wouldn't notice as she was talking. He expected to see something wild and abstract, unorthodox, and challenging. Instead, what he saw was a pretty pastel painting of the canal.

"Yeah I see you eyeing my easel. Yes, that's an impressionistic painting of the canal. I want to do it all. The classic style and the street style. I want my art to reflect something real. You can do that in New York. It has balls right now. Paris just seems so static in comparison. It doesn't want to move on from the classics. What happened to the Paris we saw in those movies; challenging things? Man, it's all happening in New York right now."

Max did not know how to respond to any of that. However, he may have fell in love. Then he thought of something he could say in response.

"I'm Max, by the way. Max Frazier." Max extended his arm.

"Enchanté, monsieur!" She then bowed from her stool and kissed his hand.

"Uh…"

"So Max, what is it that you do?"

 _Such a New York question_ , Max thought. Every New Yorker's initial question is "what do you do?" before sizing you up and comparing themselves to you.

"I play in a jazz-rock-blues hybrid band. We actually have a two-month gig here. We actually play our last show tonight before heading back to New York the day after tomorrow."

"Really? A musician! You gotta tell me, what's so contemporary about contemporary jazz?"

They ended up spending the whole morning walking around Canal Saint-Martin and Max could not help but mentally play the song "Les Mômes de la Cloche" by Edith Piaf. This girl spoke a million miles a minute and Max found himself enjoying every moment.

As they walked and talked, Max found out that her name was Colleen Macdonald.

"Yeah, isn't that such a boring name?"

"I think it's nice."

"Don't with start with that flattery. I prefer straight shooters. I like talking to you because you didn't start off with those cheesy pick-up lines. I don't want you to start now."

Max just chuckled.

"Anyway, back to my name, it just doesn't fit me. It sounds like some Midwestern frau, you know? A few months ago, I was out clubbing at Danceteria and I started dancing with this scrappy girl who looked like she just came from the street – looked like she didn't eat for days. But despite her looks, she was such a ferocious and fearless dancer. Nobody could take their eyes off of this nobody. One of those who just had that energy, you know? So magnetic. You know what her name was? Madonna! Imagine! A name like that! I was so jealous. If I had a name like that, I'd make sure I'd become famous someday. If that girl does nothing with her name, then I'll be angry for the rest of my life. It'd be such a waste."

"Well, if you had a name, what would you want it to be?"

"Something masculine. It'd set me apart."

"Really?"

"Really."

Suddenly, a man about Max's age shouted to Colleen as they walked past.

"Mon cherie! Tu devrais sourire. Tu seras tellement belle si tu souriais!"

Max had no idea what he said, but Colleen gagged, rolled her eyes. She then turned towards the man who was offering her a flirtatious smile. Colleen then pointed her two middle fingers against the corners of her mouth – then pressed them upwards into a mock smile. The man answered back in what Max perceived to be some French profanity.

"Ugh! I hate it when men demand that from me! They always do that! 'Oh hey baby, give me a smile! You'll be so pretty if you smile!' It's like I'm not someone who exists only to make men feel better with a smile. Jesus!"

Max and Colleen strolled silently. Hoping to pick the conversation back up, Max offered, "I've always been partial to the name Lenny."

"Leonard? Really? But Max is a much cooler name! Leonard sounds like my Jewish accountant…if I had an accountant. It's like 'Sheldon'!"

"I said 'Lenny', not Leonard. I think it's because of Leonard Bernstein, who went by that. I think he is the most important 20th Century American composer.. I just love how a shortened version of a name can totally transform how it sounds. It turns nebbish 'Leonard' into something sort of punk rock. Maybe I just think that because of Lenny Bruce."

"Lenny Bruce! Yes! That's what I want to do with my art. What Lenny Bruce did with comedy commenting on everything and pushing boundaries and challenging norms! He was it, man."

"Nobody will ever be like him."

"Bernstein and Bruce, man you are a New York Jew."

Max did not know whether to take offense to that or not; he also wasn't sure how he felt about her making the correct assumption that he was Jewish.

As they continued their conversation, Max learned that Colleen came from a mix of Irish and Scottish stock on her father's side and French and Italian on her mother's. His father also came from Scottish stock while his mother came from a line originating from Russian Jewish immigrants from the late 1800s, who were chased out by the Czar.

Colleen convinced Max to go to Shakespeare & Company located on the famed Left Bank of Paris. They rode the bus down south towards their destination after Max offered to pay her fare as well.

"Ok," Max interrupted – finally getting a word edgewise with Colleen. "Let's play a game."

"Oooh, a game? What kind of game?" Colleen said with anticipation.

"We take turns asking each other questions, and you have to answer them," Max said.

"Sounds dangerous," Colleen answered with a seductive tone Max became all too familiar with. This woman just exuded sexual energy. Max clutched Colleen's easel tightly.

"It depends on what you ask and answer," Max said smiling. "Ok, who was your first crush?"

"My first what? That question is so lame!"

"Come on, answer it…"

"Ok, it was the only black boy in my block. He was so fit. He used to…"

Colleen and Max went back spit-firing their questions and answers. Colleen raised the stakes of the questions by giving some sexually-charged answers. Max was convinced she was not doing it in a way to entice him to sleep with her, he was already convinced, but rather she just could not help herself. He sensed she had an immature need to get a rise out of people.

On the tenth question, Max asked, "So your parents…what were they like?"

"Oh well, you know, the usual. Nothing too interesting there. Now my turn…"

Max was taken aback. Every question he asked was met with some long diatribe of an answer where she seemingly revealed a piece of her soul or at least her ideals. He listened intently to every word she said as it sounded like music to his ears. Now all-of-a-sudden, she was curt.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked.

"Of course…at least I think I have. Like, that tingling sensation was there and the actual aching of the heart where it physically hurts was there when we broke up…But you know, I'm in my late-20s…so who knows if I really know what love is?"

"How many times have you been in love, Max?"

"Hey, I thought it was my turn."

"Just answer it, please."

"I don't know…I think three or four times."

"THREE OR FOUR TIMES?"

"That's not a lot! I am older, you know? What about you?"

"I've never been in love."

Max expected her to say more, but she just looked blankly ahead of her. Before he could ask further, she informed him that their stop was coming, so they should get ready to get a move on.

After spending an hour lying on one of the available beds at Shakespeare & Company, it finally came to Max's attention how strange it was that they had just met that morning and were now lying in the same bed. Albeit, in a totally non-sexual way in a public place, but all the same…He allowed himself to quietly enjoy her quiet snores.

Before he could fully take stock of their current position, Colleen jolted awake and said, "Every time I come here, I ask if they have _Harriet the Spy,_ and they do! I always pick it up and read it. Have you heard of it?"

"Can't say that I have."

"WHAT?"

"Why is that so surprising?"

"It's only the best book ever! Listen that book was my whole life. I think it's what made me move to New York."

"Is it set there?"

"'Is it set there?' That book lives and breathes the City man! It's about a tomboy who doesn't fit in and challenges the norms that exist all-around her. I imagined myself growing up in New York and being as interesting as her as opposed to living in a boring, isolated white bread suburb in the Midwest. You're so lucky to have grown up in New York."

Before Max could answer that it wasn't all fun, Colleen rose out of the bed and stretched her body. Max watched as she contorted her body in different positions. She must have been a dancer, he thought.

"Why don't you come to my art class this afternoon? It's for beginners, so everyone can join for twenty francs."

"Twenty francs? Are you kidding me?"

"Come on, I know you got bread…literally and figuratively." Colleen picked up Max's bag containing one last croissant. "Come on, I need people to come. If they come to my class, then they might ask me back. I need the dough, man."

"I don't know, you don't want to see me paint…"

"Come on…with me guiding you…holding on to that hard paintbrush in your hand, you gonna like what you experience."

"I don't even have a…"

"Just take Claude and my stuff. That way you HAVE to come to my class."

"Wait, you're just gonna…"

"It's at 17 Rue Saint-Jacques down the way. Come on, it starts in fifteen minutes!"

Max sat at in front of Claude, surrounded by a dozen or so students. He was sure this was not just for beginners as some of these folks had copies of their other work with them and they seemed pretty advanced. No wonder it was twenty francs.

A stern-looking woman with a tight bun started commanding things in French. Max had no idea what she was saying and looked at his neighbor to follow suit.

Colleen suddenly entered as if she owned the space, wearing nothing but a robe. As she stood at the center of the class, she dropped her robe.

 _She's not teaching the class! She's modeling for it!"_ Max internally screamed.

Max saw how all the men in the class eyed her up, salivating at what they saw. Max tried hard not to gawk at her, but she was a thing of beauty. She looked as if she was an old Renaissance sculpture brought to life. Her beautiful green-blue eyes were pierced into him. Max swore Colleen only had eyes for him.

Max could not help but gawk at the way she consciously positioned herself as a living sculpture, arranging her body to its most aesthetic advantage. If Max doubted if she was a dancer before, he was not doubting it now.

Max sheepishly staggered out of that class, absolutely embarrassed by his work product. The instructor did not even try to encourage him to come back as far as he could tell. To be fair, he spent most of the time either gawking at Colleen or counting the comb lines in the instructor's hair.

He waited for Colleen outside the classroom door. He peeked inside and saw a bunch of men and a woman talking animatedly to her. She was conversing with them naturally as if she was a native French speaker, again, as far as he could tell. Max realized he never asked Colleen how she learned to speak French so fluently.

Colleen finally exited, took Max by the arm, and skipped out of the building. There was an extra pep to her step.

"Finally, some work! Those clowns want me to model for them at their private studios!"

"Um…are you sure they only have painting in mind."

"Sure, they want more, but don't worry about me. I've been fending people off my entire life."

"That woman looked interested as well."

"Oh, you think?"

"Yeah, I could tell by the way she was eyeing you the entire time in class."

"Gross!"

"What? You don't like gay people?"

"No, it's not that! In fact, I learned how to French kiss with a girl! It was hot. No, it's just that Simone is such a creep! I rather have Lisette."

"Uh huh…"

"So, what'd ya think of the class?"

Thinking about on the hour-long session where Max stared at Colleen's naked body from all sorts of angles and positions, Max felt his cheeks flush and shifted his pants a bit.

Max offered to treat Colleen to a late lunch at a café nearby, to which Colleen readily accepted. He ordered an olive pizza for them to share after learning Colleen was a vegetarian.

"This pizza is so good! Though, maybe I'm just hungry. These French pizzas sure are tinier than the ones from New York."

"Ha yeah," Max chuckled scarfing down his own slice.

"So, you're from the Bronx?"

"That's right. North Bronx to be exact."

"Tell me, what's it like to be a _true_ New Yorker?"

"Well, it's just a place, I guess. I haven't grown up anywhere else, so I have nothing to compare it to."

"Come on, tell me more."

Max contemplated for a second, gathering his thoughts.

"Well, when you grow up here, you always notice who is a fresh-faced transplant, looking to find whatever it is they're looking for in that city. And New York does provide, but you have pay."

"Don't I know it…go on."

"Growing up here, you really understand why it's called _The Big Apple_ , but you also are way familiar with the rotten apple quality to it. But that's part of its charm, you know?"

"Yeah, definitely." Colleen began drifting off a bit before urging Max to continue.

"I don't know what Kalamazoo is like, but in New York, it seemed that all sorts of people of varying socio-economic backgrounds and lifestyles were just living around the corner from one another. It was nice to grow up in actually. It's like a dose of other people's realities were always splashed onto your face.

"But in the past decade, it's been tough. The Bronx especially has been hit hard by heroin. Crime is rampant now. It's not the same Bronx I grew up with…I mean South Bronx was always somewhat of a hellhole, but it's even worse now. Before, the housing projects were actually respectable places to live."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Max sad forlornly.

"What did little Maxi do for fun as a kid?"

"Oh man, all kinds of things, we used to play in the streets, come up with all sorts of games, played stick ball. Once we got old enough, we'd challenge each other to ride our bikes across the 207th Street bridge into Manhattan. It was like going into a different world even though we were just a few miles apart. When I turned thirteen, I rode all the way down to Battery Park once…"

"From the Bronx?!" Colleen gasped.

"Yeah, but of course, I made stops along the way. I didn't ride my bike back, I just took the subway back north."

"Why did you do it?"

"To see if I could. And it was freeing. I needed to escape the house, you know?"

"I understand that. So, how did you get into music?"

"My dad joked that it was because I was born in East Harlem, before we moved to the Bronx, so I was surrounded by music from the womb and at birth. I don't know really. I just saw someone playing with drumsticks on the street one day and I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Man, he was hitting those sticks as if his life depended on it. It was so crazy and wild, but there was such an exciting and discernible rhythm coming out of that chaos. It was like all that noise became something out-of-this-world and beautiful. I think that's what got me into the drums. No matter how volatile things are, you can make beauty out of it so long as you learned how.

"Anyway, I asked him to teach me how to drum with those. Then I became addicted. I don't know, it was like something snapped in me. I think the guy saw something in my eyes because he gave me his drumsticks and told me to find a really good teacher.

"Luckily, my school offered a pretty good music program and I found my way to music class. My teacher, Mr. Bass, yeah I know, was incredible. He got me. I was a pretty angry kid growing up…"

"You were angry?"

"Yeah…" Max hoped Colleen wouldn't ask much more about it. He saw from her expression that she understood thus Max took his cue to continue.

"He helped me channel some of that energy into my drumming and encouraged me to listen to as much music as I could and guided me to some musicians to listen to. Then I discovered Ginger Baker from Cream, and that was it. I fell in love with the melding of rock, blues, African rhythms, and jazz. That's the sort of music my band plays."

After a moment of silence, Colleen spoke up. "You sound like me growing up."

Max eyed Colleen intently – giving her space to share if she wanted.

"I found dance and art in my so-called formative years. It was like beauty and light finally shown onto my dark, cold, depressing life. It was showing me a way out. Before that, I stewed in my anger for about eight years until I discovered my voice…it was with a paintbrush and with my body.

"I was confused as to where to take my life though. Still kind of am. Gave up the prospect of dancing professionally because it physically hurt too much and I wasn't making enough money to eat regularly to recover from the pain. Plus, I tried to make it and wasn't good enough. Anyway, then I fell back into painting and I put all my physical pain onto the canvas.

"So, I went to art school at twenty-one…my Dad said graduating college at twenty-five isn't an achievement but damage control. Whatever. I didn't graduate anyway. Found a teacher who believed in my abilities, and then dropped out one year later and headed to New York. Then I found these strange Parisians. That song "The Parisians" from _Gigi_ is right. They wanted everything I do to be romance this and romance that. Love this and love that. So now, here I am.

"I quite admire you; it seems you knew exactly what you wanted to do and are doing it."

"That's not true. I lived and breathed drumming, but my old man…he tried to beat it out of me. Didn't work though until one day in high school, he convinced me that I had no talent after I botched a big performance. Lost a chance at a recording contract. Then I decided to give it up."

"It sounds like your dad didn't understand."

"That's the thing, I think I took it harshly because he himself was a musician; he played the clarinet and actually worked for some local orchestras before he gave it up for something more stable…he got into the carpentry business. I realized later on that he was probably displacing some of his regrets and anger onto me when I kept refusing to give it up."

"What made you go back to drumming, then?"

"It wasn't until I tried all kinds of odd jobs. I did everything 'practical' I could think of and even gave in and worked for my old man. Turns out, I was no good at anything. I just had music in my ears, so I saw a poster stapled to a wooden pole advertising an open audition for drummers. I came in without even a drum kit or drum sticks. I had to borrow those, and then I played. It's funny, I don't think I was playing as if my life depended on it or anything. I just wanted to feel what it was like to play drums again, and it felt so fucking good! They must have felt something because I got the spot in the band. They were a lousy band so of course, I got in. I didn't know it at the time. I just wanted to play. Then ten years later I'm here."

"You're in Paris."

"I'm in Paris…with a two-month gig."

"I'd say that's a success story."

"Ha! That's the funny thing about us artists. We can't really appreciate the fact that we get to enjoy these experiences that most people dream about because we're too focused on making sure we can pay our rent next month or we're too busy wondering how long we can feed ourselves before the money from our last gig runs out. It's really about the work and you can't really enjoy things while you're doing the work."

"Are you worried about that now?"

"Luckily, no. My band actually has some commitments lasting through next February back in New York playing a variety of venues. I can't wait to play at _Max's Kansas City_ again. You'd love it there. It was the home of the New York Dolls. We also have a gig at _CBGBs_. You'd like it there too. It's like a weird mix of tattered and glam. Hard street rockers, not the arena rock stuff. Mix of the punks with the glams. The straights and the transvestites and drag queens. It's really happening. Anyway, this has been the luckiest period we've had."

"Well, let's celebrate then! After your set, I'll make you dinner at your place. You have to try my spaghetti sauce! It'll make you want to eat forever!"

Max simply could not say no that offer. He noticed a childlike excitement flash over her face for moment.

"You do have a kitchen, right?" Collen then asked with her hardened look back on her face.

After the late lunch, Max told her he had to make his way to La Bouche for the band's soundcheck. Of course, Colleen ended up tagging along asking him harried questions about his bandmates and the type of crowd to expect at La Bouche.

Max introduced Colleen to his bandmates, who excitedly greeted her. As she was telling some of them some tale, his bandmate Mark took him aside.

"What are you doing with that crazy chick, man?"

"What?"

"I see it in your eyes, you've fallen for her - hard!"

"No, I haven't. It's just been a really fun day."

Mark gave Max a face, causing Max to say, "Ok, maybe it's the best day I've had in Paris so far."

"Be careful, that girl looks hungry. I don't know for what…maybe she's literally hungry, but be careful. Girls like that know how to tell you what you want to hear while you're opening your wallet and your apartment."

"Mark, I like to think I'm pretty streetwise…"

"Granted, you are…"

"Why do you think I'd fall for any trick?"

"That girl is different. I can tell. I think there's some killer instinct inside of her helping her survive."

As Mark walked away, Max gazed at Colleen figuring out if what Mark had said held any credence. Now, he was unsure what to make of Colleen.

During their performance, the band played up the fact that it was their last night at La Bouche. It was one of Max's best nights performing as the crowd danced all around matching the intensity of the music. One particular dancer was quite enticing.

Colleen swung, swayed, kicked, bent, and twirled all around the dance floor. Colleen arranged her hair in a half-up bouffant with smokey eyes, and pale pink lipstick. She wore a black dress that was actually a short-sleeved black leotard with a skirt tied around her waist that buttoned up in the middle, which she unbuttoned during a particularly fast-paced song, causing her skirt to split right in the middle showing off her crotch area thus allowing her to bend her knees deeply, crouch, and shake her hips to the rhythm. When she told Max that she was going to go pick up the groceries then home to get ready for his performance, he had no idea she was going to knock him out.

The crowd all gathered around her, trying to keep up with her pace. Max noticed that some in the crowd were dazzled by this siren whose noise came from her movements, not her voice. She whirled around the room, leapt, and spun with her semi-wild blonde mane flying. It was if she had been possessed by the spirit of exhibitionism. The more they chanted and cheered for her, the more she gave them. Max deduced that Colleen was simply marching to the beat of a drummer that he needed to work hard to keep up with.

Max could tell Mark was getting annoyed that Colleen was taking attention away from the band, but Max didn't care at all. It was their music they were enjoying. If anything, he felt Colleen was the best advertisement for their music. She was physically displaying what the music was. Mark never liked getting upstaged by anyone. Such is the nature of lead guitarists, Max always thought.

After their set, Colleen busied herself with her many admirers as Max waited. Mark then took him aside once more to warn him again about this new girl who suddenly caused a sensation in the club and in Max's life. Max waved Mark away in the same way Colleen started to wave away some of the salivating men who were lusting after her.

Colleen made her way towards the bartender, who handed her a bag of groceries and another bag of her belongings. She then said, "Merci de les avoir gardés pour moi, stud." She bade him farewell with a flirtatious wink. The bartender was about to grab her to start some conversation before Max met her halfway and aggressively put his arm around her. He surprised himself with what he just did. He then realized Mark might have had a point after all.

Back in Max's cramped studio sublet, with his bed in the middle of the room, with the kitchen to the left, Colleen danced her way through her spaghetti sauce recipe.

Max again admired the way she moved. Everything just looked so natural to her and she had this feline command, as if she was meant to take center stage no matter where she was at. It became clear to Max why she thirsted for something greater and why she made her way to New York City.

As they enjoyed their dinner, Max could not believe how delicious this sauce was. He did not expect to be impressed as he grew up among Italian-Americans in his neighborhood and enjoyed many dinners with them. He made a mental note to ask her for the recipe.

"What do you think about love?" Colleen suddenly asked as she chewed on her baguette, tearing a piece off.

"What do I think about it?"

"You said you've been in love three or four times, and I've never been in love. Tell me what you think about your experiences."

"Honestly, I told you I had that tingly feeling and all the pain when it didn't work out. But with them," Max paused gathering his thoughts before he continued.

"…I don't think I ever felt that great surge you're supposed to feel. That intensity, that jealousy. I thought I did, but I think I haven't before…Like I obviously I've broken up with women before and I think the funny thing is how little I think about them after the initial pain. It's like if I was so in love with them, wouldn't I still be feeling the pain and that love I had? But it's like I don't. So, was it even real? Did I just convince myself of it? The real bummer is that when you realize how little you think about them, you start thinking that the same may be true for then. That they aren't thinking about you that much either. And you start remembering all the things you've said to and done with them and the moments you did pour your heart out to them and shared something so valuable and so vulnerable…and how none of that mattered. It was just something to do at the time."

Max watched Colleen as she took in everything he had just said.

"I thought you were a romantic or a heartbreaker. It turns out you're kind of both."

"How am I a heartbreaker?"

"Well, like you said, if you're thinking about how all the times you shared your love with someone and how it hurts you that they're not thinking about you in that way anymore and how that love just died…they're obviously thinking the same thoughts. And the fact you're so obsessed with thinking about whether or not what you felt was real…that's a romantic heart speaking. People incapable of loving, really truly loving, don't think about that."

"What about you? What do you think about love?"

"I think about my mom."

Max saw a flash of melancholy and a deep seemingly infinite sadness overtake Colleen before she put her performance mask back on.

"Yeah. She died when I was five-years-old. Breast cancer. I just remember her smell, the way she would hold me, her beautiful sing-song, maternal voice. I remember the way she would clutch at me when I was young. It's just bits of pieces, but it stays with you. I see the way you're looking at me. Don't worry, I'm not beaten up about it too much…when you learn early on that you can lose the most important person in your life, the person you will love more than anyone else in your entire life, and survive it…it showed me I can survive anything life gives me."

Max sat there – his head in a tizzy. She had just revealed something so deep and personal to him. It threw his mind into a tailspin. He wanted more of that. He acquired a taste for Colleen now and he wanted to savor her.

"Do you think about love as an adult? Like any sort of love that can maybe fill some void you're feeling?" Max asked.

"No." Colleen went back to chewing on her sauce-stained baguette.

"Why not?"

"Because I know I'm going to die before I'm thirty."

Max almost spit out his merlot.

"Why do you say that?"

"Even since my mom died, I've just had these reminders of death all around. And it's a deep feeling I have about it. I can't subject somebody to a brief love and romance only to take it away from them."

This prompted Max to jump out of chair, pick Colleen off of hers, and hold on to her close. He held onto her hoping to provide some comfort. All he wanted to do was to make her feel safe and secure.

Suddenly he felt her tongue press against the corner of his mouth.

"You had some spaghetti sauce there," Colleen whispered.

Max moved in closer, reached out and grasped her hand. She responded in kind and moved his hand to her mouth. "I like your mouth, I bet it fits really well with mine," she whispered.

As they made love, Max was struck by the depth of her passion and the completeness of her surrender. He received signals from her that that Colleen wanted him completely. He made love with the confidence of a man in his sexual prime with the insatiability that came with that age. Colleen responded to Max's confidence with an increasing aggression. She made love as if she were a man somehow, Max had thought. She played with the duality of the submissive and the dominant and Max was entranced.

A few hours later, Max awakened to find Colleen stumbling in the kitchen. She was clearly looking for something in the cabinets. He got straight out of bed, and asked if she needed help finding something.

"Sorry for waking you, I'm a bit of an insomniac. I was seeing if you had any tea bags." Seeing that the kettle was on, Max sheepishly said he didn't have any tea as he stared at the vision in a pale champagned colored animal print silk robe she must have brought from her apartment.

"Damn, well I guess hot water will do," Colleen said with a sly smile.

Colleen then eyed the dirty pots and pans and readied herself to wash them.

"You don't have to do that," Max said.

"No, it's fine. I need something to do."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You seem a bit restless right now."

"I guess I am."

"Here…why don't we do something else instead." A lightbulb lit inside Max's head.

Before Colleen could respond, Max hurriedly ran towards a closet and grabbed his drumsticks.

"Here…"

Max handed Colleen his drumsticks, and then arranged the dirty pots and pans in set. He then pressed himself behind her, and grabbed her wrists. He then guided her arms to the rhythm of the Eighth Note Drum Beat.

Colleen giggled as Max had her play on.

"Isn't this pretty simple?"

"Not really," Colleen answered.

"Come on…a toddler can do it."

"I think I look pretty foolish pretending to play like this."

"What? Oh, I get it, we can only do things we're comfortable with, right? No chance for you to show off right now," Max said playfully as he kissed her neck from behind.

Colleen giggled some more and responded, "Who said I like showing off?"

Max turned around Colleen so that they were face-to-face and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you think you got me figured out, huh?"

Then they shared another prolonged kiss.

A few hours later, Max stirred awake seeing a dark figure making its way out of his flat. He squinted, and checked his watch and saw that it was 4:00am.

"Hey…" Max groggily said.

"Oh, I didn't want to wake you. Sorry." Colleen was dressed and had her bag in-hand. Max looked towards the kitchen and saw she scrubbed it spotless and put everything back in place. He noticed she placed his drumsticks on the now clean dining room table.

"Wait, you're leaving?"

"Yeah, I think I should go back to my place."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Max offered her a look as if to say the answer was obvious. He then turned his head hoping to wake himself up from his grog.

"I didn't steal anything," Colleen said with some admonishment.

"Wait, what? That's not what? No…I just…Aren't we having a good time?"

"Yeah, and now it's over."

Max was struck by how Colleen suddenly switched cold. She was acting as if they were strangers.

"What do you mean it's over?" Max asked.

"You're going back to New York."

"Yeah, tomorrow. We still have a whole day together."

"Why prolong the inevitable?"

"What inevitable?"

"Max, don't play dumb."

"I don't get it."

"Don't act like the possessive lover, ok? Your coolness is what made you so attractive."

"Possessive? I'm not…I just think we have something here."

"You think because I slept with you that you can put me in some cage, no way, man."

Colleen was about to open the door when Max leapt out of bed in a way he had never done before and closed it.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Colleen asked putting up a defensive stance ready to throw some punches. Her tone made Max pause as he clearly frightened her. He frightened himself with the way he just lost control. He had no idea he had that in him. She was making become a person he didn't recognized.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Of course, you can go, but hear me out ok?"

Colleen crossed her arms and then gave Max a slight nod to indicate he could say his piece.

"Listen, I'm not putting you in a cage or anything like that. You don't belong to me and I don't belong to you. We just met. I get that. But we have something, I felt it. I know you felt it. The stuff you said to me…do you say that to every man? What's your endgame?"

"No endgame, I'm just having fun. You are too. Life's not so serious."

"Hey, just because you've convinced yourself your life will be over in a few years doesn't make it true! There's something between us and it can be more!"

"You're just lust drunk right now. Like you said, in a few moments after I leave, you won't even think about me anymore."

"This is different! I never felt this way about anyone before! Even women I've dated for years. You…you gave me something I didn't think I was capable of feeling."

"That's bullshit! Your feelings are just heightened by the moment…"

"Yes, the moment! The moments we had all day yesterday! That was all real."

"Even so, I don't want to be tied down to anything."

"Ha! I knew it! You know it was real between us! Something!"

"Don't go on proposing marriage now."

"I'm not! Don't twist my words. I'm not saying I'm in love with you or anything…"

"Good! Because if you did, then you clearly don't know what love is…"

"And neither do you from your own admission!"

"Maybe so, but I know love isn't just a whirlwind Parisian twenty-four hours of whimsy and sex and latching on to things about a person that intrigue us."

"I get it, and I said I'm not in love with you, I'm just saying…there's potential. Maybe it won't go anywhere between us, but you can't kill something before it has a chance to grow and show itself. Let us find out, even if it turns out we can't stand each other and we've made a huge mistake plunging into a romance with one another."

"No thank you."

"Colleen…wait…"

Colleen turned to go and Max instinctively blocked her away again. Then he apologized and gave her the right-of-way, allowing her to leave.

Colleen faced towards the door and then turned back to Max.

"Listen, I told myself long ago I wasn't going to let anybody get in my way. I wasn't going to get tied down to anyone or anything! Life is short and we can die at any minute. I rather be free and alone to live it without anybody keeping tabs on me and telling me what to do! I'm sorry that you caught strong feelings for me, and for maybe encouraging it, but you know life is shit and I had to take some fun once the opportunity presented itself. So, if me possibly having a few laughs with you and not caring if I was toying with your emotions by leaving you high-and-dry afterwards makes me a bitch, then I'm sorry, but I'm a bitch."

Max felt his eyes well up. He hated himself for allowing this to happen in front of her. Why was he getting so emotional now? All he knew was that one day with Colleen gave him a glimpse of what love could be. It was a glimpse he never had before. Not with his distant mother, his brow-beating father, or any of his previous relationships or dalliances.

For a moment, Max saw a flash of pain come across Colleen's face as if she felt the pain she had inflicted on him. Then her face turned stone cold. She turned and exited his apartment.

After an hour of pacing in his flat and air punching, Max dressed, needing to take a stroll on the cobblestone sidewalks of Canal Saint-Martins. He had to walk off his pent-up frustration.

He could not figure out why he was feeling this way. He had only known Colleen for a day. But felt it he did. It made no sense to him but it made all the sense in the world at the same time. This feeling was maddening!

Max went to his usual boulangerie and absent-mindedly grabbed four croissants and a café au lait.

He walked down, hearing the boats entering through the locks under the cast-iron footbridges and the early morning crowd milling about the canal.

Thoughts of Colleen flooded in his mind. He tried to watch the other people around the canal go about their business, attempting to will different images into his head to no avail.

Then, he saw her. Colleen was sitting alone on the bench, clutching her bag, eyes red and puffy with mascara running down her face. Max instinctively ran towards her. He did not dare to sit next to her until she looked up and welcomed him to.

Once she finally did, Max wordlessly handed her his _café au lait_ and his bag of croissants. She gratefully opened the bag and grabbed a _pain au choclat_. Max took that as permission to sit next to her.

They quietly sat side-by-side exchanging a medley of energies.

"You know, one day we can laugh about this…" Max said.

"Max…stop that."

"I can't stop it. It's happening."

"I thought you were smarter than that."

"What has being smart ever done for anybody; when it comes to love?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm not capable of being in love."

"That's just your excuse. You know you are."

Colleen continued to sit in silence as she took in what Max said, then spoke, "I always had this idea of what love was…what it would take for me to fall in love…and it was so grand, so big. I would be swept off my feet by this grand gesture. By this white knight in shining armor who can promise me the world and can take away all of my pain. I told myself my whole life…after my mom died and my dad grew distant as all of my brothers and sisters were fighting tooth-and-nail for his attention…I told myself that I didn't deserve anything less than that. Then…I met you and all you did was listen to me talk. You're so ordinary…"

"Thanks-a-lot."

"Well, you are! We all are! Everything is so ordinary. I just don't get it. How could I be thinking about you so much now? I sat here on this bench, thinking I made a huge mistake leaving your apartment, and how I'll never see you again…and why? You didn't do anything really for me to think about you like that."

"I played a mean drum for you."

"There is that. You're really hot when you play."

"Thanks"

"And your singing voice is smooth and sexy…they should let you sing more."

"Ok, Yoko," Max said laughing. Max drank in Colleen's smell. He felt the heat radiating from her body. He wanted to wrap himself in it.

"I love Yoko!"

"What? Are you crazy?"

"She's the best! John became much more of the artist he was meant to be with her! Her conceptual art is so far out!"

Max laughed, more out of exasperation than anything else. He wanted nothing more than to continue this conversation for the rest of his life.

"Come to New York with me," Max said.

"What?" Collen asked.

"You've been to Paris like you were told to, like a good little girl, but you clearly want to go back to where you belong."

"How do you know I belong in New York?"

"Because you haven't stopped talking about New York since I met you."

Colleen loudly sighed. "I can't just pack up and move back to New York on some whim. I don't really know you."

"Then go back to New York and get to know me. If you hate me, then just do whatever you want after you find that out."

"It just seems risky for me."

"Don't forget, I'm taking a risk too. And there's nothing for you here. In fact, you're lying low from some debt collectors who brought you here."

"That notwithstanding, I'm afraid you've built me up in your head as some magical dream girl and I'm not. I'm just plain old Colleen from Kalamazoo. I'm not this exotic creature so many men make me out to be. I'm just a regular woman. Not this thing for you to collect; thinking I would complete your life. I will never match up to your fantasy of me. Besides, what's in it for me?"

Max grunted irritably. He was growing tired. This whole wild ride with Colleen was like Offenbach's "The Can-Can". Now exhausted at the end of it, he just wanted to settle in the slow section of the music for now.

"Listen, the only thing I can offer you is me. Myself. My whole self. I have nothing bigger to give. But I'm not going to give it to anybody else…until you want me to. I've seen you now. I saw the highs of being with you and now I've seen the lows. I now know you're a fucking emotional wreck. You're traumatized by your life back home. Lucky for you, so am I.

"I've seen this nutty side of you and I still want to be with you. I want you…all of you. The good, the bad, and the whirlwind. If you want someone who is willing to explore what can exist between us…who wants to give us a shot for the off-chance we found our soulmate…then I am it. This is it.

"I'm no white knight in shining armor. I'm just Maximilian Frazier from North Bronx…growing up eating quarter hot dogs with papaya juice. Fighting off the Irish and Italian kids on the streets one day and then having dinner with them the next day. A kid who grew up thinking riding my bike down Manhattan was the biggest thrill of his life. A kid who dodged punches from his dad while yearning for his mom to hold him. A guy who dreams of being Ginger Baker while knowing he never will be. A guy who imagines himself being the father his dad never was and wanting a family one day.

"That's it. That's real. If you just want a fantasy hero, then go ahead and keep looking. If you want a breathing, living human being who wants to take a chance on you, then this is it."

Max exhaled. He just spoke a mouthful. He had no idea where those words came from, but out they came.

After what felt like a lifetime of silence, Max figured Colleen gave him his answer and he was about to stand up to leave. Suddenly, he felt Colleen's head rest on his shoulder as she grasped his hands.

"Maximilian is a great name. I love it."

Max and Colleen kissed in front while the Parisian crowd walked by in front of Canal Saint-Martin. Max swore he heard accordion music playing.

"Listen to that," Colleen whispered. "They always play it for the American tourists…like us." As she hugged him tighter, Max wrapped his arm around her and never wanted to let go.

* * *

**Back to Thanksgiving 2005**

Lenni sat quietly – taking in everything her father had just told her. She had never known her mom in that light. All of her life, her mother was made out to be some otherworldly angel. It was as if she was some mythological creature that Lenni had been conditioned to worship. Hearing her now be so…human. It was so much to take in.

"What do you think, Bibs?"

"Was I named after Lenny Bernstein or Lenny Bruce?"

"Both."

Lenni chuckled.

"It was your mom's idea."

"Clearly," Lenni answered. "She sounded so…all over the place."

"Your mom was like an element. She was just this ball of energy and want, but she provided life to me. And to you, literally. She always seemed as if she wasn't of this world. That didn't stop when we settled down together."

"She seemed so independent, did she want to be a mom?"

"Bibs, when she found out she was pregnant that February after that summer we met, she was the happiest woman in the world. She loved you more than she loved anything else."

"She knew she was going to die…"

"I don't think she really did. I think she just wanted the glamor of dying young. She was shocked when she found out she had a brain tumor."

"It's just weird. She died when I was five…her mom died when she was five…am I cursed?" Lenni asked. Not only asking about her maternal grandmother, her mother, but Kyle as well.

"No honey, it's just life happens sometimes. It's just important to make sure you keep going to the doctor's regularly. It's a stroke of bad luck, but you know breast cancer and brain tumors are not genetic. There are low likelihoods of you developing it. God knows I've done my research on it.

"And about curses, who's to say it's not from my side? We Jews know suffering, after all. That's why we always sing in a minor key."

Lenni laughed at that one.

"Anyway, Bibs, I told you this story because whatever is going on between Rob and yourself, you need to figure it out the way your mom and I did. We had all these idealistic notions of love and romance. We built up things in our heads about it, but in the end, we found the truth. Love is work. Love is knowing a person. Really knowing them, not just the good stuff. Knowing that and wanting to be with them anyway even during periods where you need to be away from them. Love is constant. It's not just a declaration and things falling into place. It's continued effort. It was true for her and it is true for Sally."

"Thanks Dad." Lenni said thoughtfully.

"Now, I gotta see what's keeping Sally. Knowing her, she's probably already working on Thank You notes for all the people who donated their resources and time at the shelter today. I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I can't wait to start re-heating this turkey and all the fix-ins."

As her father went to Sally, Lenni made her way to her room. Quietly sitting on her bed. Lenni took bits and pieces of the story her dad just told her. She knew he had intended for the story to be some parallel to her and Rob. But all the stuff about her mother – how volatile and complicated she was. The way she lit a fire of passion in her father. The way they fought. The way the spoke to each other. What they spoke about.

Lenni couldn't help it. The story did not make her think about Rob. It made her think about Kyle.

Lenni grabbed her "death locket" from her bedside drawer and opened it. She eyed the picture of her mother to the left and a picture of Kyle with that ridiculous cocksure smirk on the right. She started reminiscing about all the laughs, the deep conversations, the stupid conversations, the blow outs, the music, and the passionate times they had together.

Her time with Kyle was love. What was her time with Rob?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, I hope you guys missed me! It took me a bit of time to get this chapter right. For some reason, writing for Lenni is tough for me. Also, it was tough dealing with what we're dealing right now in the world. Work has been more demanding than ever despite certain courts not being in session. There's still a lot of work to be done. I also opened my fic for some constructive criticism on the Writers' Anonymous forum, and had to rethink my whole style for this fic. This one isn't too long, though I do know it's long. I can't help it. These chapters have a theme and I want to make sure those themes are represented in the way I fell they should.
> 
> Anyway, this is the first installment of a planned 6-chapter arc taking place on Thanksgiving where the characters have chats with their parents with flashbacks to where their parents were at in 1979. The next installment is titled, "1979: A Time for Freedom". I have a skeleton of it written already. Maybe you guys can guess what that one will be about.
> 
> Like always, please review or comment. See you guys soon! 


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